Gossip Well Told: This Week in History

Frost Yourselves!

2011-04-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

I was driving through New Hampshire and Vermont this weekend to visit a friend. The scenery was aboslutely beautiful and I wished I had a camera so I could have captured it for you guys. It really reminded me how wonderful the changing of the seasons is, and reminded me of one of my favorite poets: Robert Frost. Last year for AP literature we had to do a poetry explication project and I chose the Mending Wall by frost. It quickly became my favorite poem. Now that everyone is ready to wrap the year up, I find myself taking some time to reflect on relationships and nature, I hope you are too!

The Mending Wall:
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."

I Mustache You a Question..

2011-04-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't use Google on a regular basis, I'd like to say:
1. Get out from that rock you apparently live under, and
2. You probably don't know what Saturday marked!


No, that's every Saturday in college..

This past Saturday, April 16th, marked the 122nd birthday of the great silent film actor Charlie Chaplin! Just so you know, he's dead now. If not, I think that would be an even greater acheivment.

"Whatever," you might say, "Who cares about silent films?" Answer: EVERYONE SHOULD.

Charlie Chaplin changed the course of comedic history, really introducing "slapstick comedy" to the public. He also was a driving force between carrying the US through the Great Depression. Sure, the New Deal helped (actualy no it didn't, but that's another, more boring, blog post) but Charlie, in his 5cent shows really boosted the spirits of many hard-pressed Americans.

Precious

Without him, we wouldn't get the 3 Stooges or even the phsycial comedy of the "Jack-ass" boys (although I could live without that last one).

Also: Chaplin was kind of a player. He was married 4 times and had, get this, 11 kids with three different woman. Damn, I hope he was attractive without all that makeup/mustache...


Oh my..

So, in honor of his 122nd, Here's a classic Chaplin clip, Enjoy!

More like the RMS FAIL

2011-04-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

This week was a little tricky for me, I wasn't sure what to write about. A lot of crap went down this week, and they're all pretty famous. There's Jackie Robinson, Lincoln being shot, and the Civil War ending (cue, Lincoln being shot). But I think that I'll write this weeks blog on something that we all already know about: The Titanic.

No hard feelings, right Abe?

Yep, this week is the 99th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic, that unsinkable ship that effed it up when it struck an iceburg in the icy N. Atlantic. Now, I know you all think that you know the story of the Titanic but you probably don't. There was no romance, no suicidal broads saved by peasant artists. Just cold, cold death by drowning while rich people paddled away in their life boats.

*Cue depressing trombone music*

Ok, sorry for being a little depressing, but I mean, 1517 people DID die, so its hard not to be depressing. Titanic isn't exactly as happy as the invention of the Hula Hoop. Anyway, the boat was massive for its time, at 900 feet long. It struck the ice-burg at around 11:40 pm and finally sunk around 2am. The really sad part was that there were only lifeboats for less than half of the passengers. They decided not to add the extra lifeboats for aesthetic reasons. Well, that wasn't a good idea.

Ugh well now I've depressed myself. April sucks, we have Lincoln dying, Titanic and Columbine right around the corner. I'm going to need some Xanax by the end of it just to get out of bed in the morning.
Well I guess the best thing to do right now is cleanse the palate, and what better way to do that than with SOME KITTIES

I'm in St. Augustine, Trick.

2011-04-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

If the popularity of Youtube has taught us anything, its that people don't necessarily have to be talented, smart or even decent looking to become famous. Indeed, hundreds of people owe their fame and fortune to their stupidity or lack of talent.


Case in Point..

Anyway, this type of fame resulting from stupidity has existed long before the internet, and has made people a lot more famous than Rebecca Black or that kid who pretends to be a jedi, or a the girl who smashes her head on the TV while dancing to "Single Ladies"

Which brings us to today's topic. On April 2nd 1513 Spain's most gullible man discovered what would become one of the United States most well, sunny states: Florida. Ponce de Leon stumbled upon this giant landmass while searching for the fountain of youth. For those of you who didn't read my post about groundhogs day, the fountain of youth supposedly provides any drinker with eternal youth and prosperity. Poor ponce didn't realize that he landed about 3000 miles too far south, because the fountain of youth is apparently in Pennsylvania somewhere, being wasted on a ground hog.

BASTARD!

Anyway, Ponce landed near what is now St. Augustine, Florida. He named the area after the Pascua Florida, a traditional Easter feast held on that particular day. He didn't find the Fountain of Youth, of course but he did encounter a few Native American's who were not too happy to see him. When Leon came back a few years later, still searching for that fountain, the He and the Natives got into a huge battle which resulted in Ponce being fatally wounded. Attempting to find a source of eternal youth, only to be mortally wounded by natives along the way? that's irony for you folks, and history loves irony.

So today we have our lovely state of Florida, with all of its beaches, alligators, golf courses, old people on golf courses and muscle men. It's a beautiful thing.

Well, almost beautiful

And it's all thanks to the ignorance of one Spaniard, looking to preserve his hotness (?) and youth and failing miserably. Oh well!

ktnx Ponce!

Towers and Broadway and Birthday's, Oh my!

2011-03-26T19:17:00.000-07:00

Oh March, how you must come to an end. Following short February you are but a long reminder that spring doesn't officially begin in New England until mid-April. You come in like a lion and, around here, you go out like a lion that just ate that tasty little lamb. It's dreary, wet and windy. Depressing almost. But wait! there is one glimmer of hope at the end of this month, at least for me anyway. See, March 31st is my birthday and I can't think of any better way to celebrate the end of the month other than a whole day committed to me, me ME. Just kidding (kinda?) Birthday's aren't that big of a deal to me (right?) and I hardly expect anyone to waste time on me (do I?)

Yes, I totally do.

Er, anyway in honor of my birthday I'm bringing you a couple little dinosar shaped historical chicken nuggets, not just one. Both of which are kind of exciting for me because A. I'm a loser and B. both happened on March 31st.
FIRST:
The Eiffel Tower officially opened for business. Not that the people of Paris did see it being built for like, ever. The story itself is kind of cool. It was built in honor of the 100th anniversary of the French Revolution. Personally I think Eiffel, the steelworker and designer, did a great job on it, but I think it would have been a nice touch to have a giant iron severed head of Marie Antoinette on the top there. I mean, would have looked a little more bad ass.


I mean the French are known for being a little brutal..

The Eiffel tower also served as the opening gates for the 1898 French World's Fair. This is where the story gets awesome. So it was the most impressive steel structure in the world at the time, right. So the American's were all like "Ok France, anything you can do we can do better, you're on." And then in 1892 we put on the Chicago World's Fair, which was even more awesome than the French one. We also debuted the world's first Ferris wheel, a massive steel structure that was taller, and far more impressive then the Eiffel Tower. "Suck my escgargot, France" was apparently muttered by Chicago workers (kidding).

Also on March 31st Oklahoma! opened on Broadway. Ok, so what, right? NO. OKLAHOMA! CHANGED EVERYTHING. On Broadway anway. It was the first modern-day musical combining dance, song, story and dress. Rogers and Hammerstein hit the big time with that one. So in honor of that (and just so I can hear it) here's a little Oklahoma! for you guys.

Most B.A. Trophy in all of Sports

2011-03-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

I'm not much of a sports person, when it comes to television viewing. Football's too complicated and takes FOREVER, baseball's too boring and takes FOREVER, Basketball doesn't take forever but is still kinda boring to watch unless its the last five minutes. There is one sport that I love to watch though, and that's hockey. It's the perfect sport: low scoring, violent and timely. Games are always over in 2 hours max, unlike baseball which you could watch for about 8 hours before it ends (assuming you didn't die of boredom first).

Gouge my eyeballs out with a spoon...please.

What does any of this have to do with history? Well this week happens to mark the 117th anniversary of the first Stanely Cup championship, played on March 22nd 1894. For those of you who don't know what the Stanley Cup is, it is only the most bad ass trophy in all of sports. There's only one, not like other sports which make about 23234 copies of a trophy which only ends up on Pawn Stars 30 years later.


Suck it, Heisman trophy

Lord Stanley's Cup, as it is referred to (mostly by Canadians) was orgiinally crafted by Lord Stanley of Preston himself who, by the sound of it, was a rich little hockey fan who, not needing a real job, decided to dedicate a silver punch bowl the the NHL. Little did he know that it would become the most treasured trophy in the sport, and a symbols of sportsmanship and honor. Each year, the winning team of the NHL championship has the names of all its players and staff inscribed on the cup, like, forever. By now the trophy stands almost 3 feet tall. Pretty sick if you ask me.

In addition to getting their names inscribed on the cup, each player gets to spend a little alone time with the cup over the course of the next year. If you read up on some of the stories you wouldn't be too shocked to hear most of them involve drunk hockey players. I'm sure if that thing could talk it would have a lot of stories to tell, most of them you probably wouldn't want to hear.

Throw up in my mouth. Bad, Hayden Panettiere, BAD.

There are a few famous stories though, of players letting their dogs eat out of the cup, drinking expensive wine out of the cup and even baptizing their kids in it. Unfortunately though, I'm a Boston fan and anyone following the Bruins knows that we aren't anywhere close to winnning the Stanley Cup anytime soon. It's kinda sad and I would kill to see them win it and be at the game. Guess unitl then I'll just have to do something crazy and like, cheer for the Red Sox or something. Ew.

Sometimes I Feel like I Live in Grand Central Station..

2011-03-06T17:14:00.000-08:00

I don't know where to begin this week. It's midterm time here at the ol' Skidmore so of course that means everyone is freaking out about EVERYTHING. It doesn't help that it's the beginning of March, so everyone's super sluggish and ready for a well deserved break. I'm in the same basket as everyone else. I've got two exams and two papers this week to do and I've gotta get cracking (later?). The sad thing is that doesn't leave much time for researching stuff for you guys and of course, this is the one week where a lot of pretty cool stuff happened.

LIKE the telephone being patented! Woo! Yep on March 7th 1876 Alexander Graham Bell patented the world's first telephone. Yeah, yeah, it's kinda boring compared to NASCAR, but I mean, half of you are probably reading this blog on your iphones, all thanks to Mr. Bell.


Well..

One thing that's kinda interesting about this story is that while Bell was inventing the telephone, Elisha Gray was inventing something extremely similar. Bell beat out Gray's in issuing a patent by two hours. Which OBV made Gray pretty pissed. So pissed that he started to work for Thomas Edison to invent a better telephone. Bell promptly sued their asses though, which is why he is credited as the first and only inventor of the telephone. Suck it Edison, you get enough credit for you so called 'lightbulb', stop being such a goddamn attention whore (and elephant electrocution-er).

Anyway, since this is a pretty boring post, I'll leave you with a smidgen of Family Guy to cleanse the palate.

Happy Spring Break!

"Like the Ancient Hawaiians say.."

2011-02-28T11:38:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that this week is the beginning of March! I think everyone will agree with me when I say THANK YOU GOD. It's almost spring! (Kinda) that means I can actually go outside with one layer of clothing and not ruin my shoes trekking to Alpine in the snow! Warmer weather also means more outdoor activities, and this week I'm celebrating the patenting of one of the greatest outdoor activities. Hoola Hooping!


Shake it like a Polaroid picture!

The first Hula Hoop was patented on March 5, 1963 by the Wham-O company. You might be familiar with Wham-O, they're the company that made all the plushy, missile shaped toys and football that you probably spent countless hours torturing your younger siblings with back in the day. They also made the first frisbee!

lawled

Anyway, the company sold 25 million Hula Hoops in the first four months of production. See, this is why I dont understant why I bother with college sometimes. I can make millions upon millions of dollars selling hoops made out of freakin' PVC pipe, why am I wasting my time (and money) with all this worthless stress?

If you ever watch the show Pitchmen you know what I'm talking about. People invent a goddamn fold up wrench and they make millions. I have an ivy-league-level education and all I have to look forward to is mountains of debt for the next 30 years. Don't forget Grad School so I can get a "real job" somewhere down the line.

I'm not bitter, really!

Er, anyway, back to my point. Hula hoops are pretty fun and have lasted the test of time without really changing too much. They haven't changed because, as I've pointed out, its a hoop made of PVC pipe, not much room for change. People either are awesome at Hula Hooping or terrible. I'm somewhere in between I guess. Basically, when I don't think about it I can hula hoop like a champ, but most of the time I suck. My friend, Ethan, is actually one of the best Hula Hoopers I've ever seen but the catch is that he can only do it when he's drunk. If he tries to do it sober he can't keep it going. strange, but admirable at the same time

I don't know if I should be worried that it's clearly daytime..

Happy almost spring! :D

You Might Be a Redneck..

2011-02-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

Yeehawwww everybody! this week we're celebrating the anniversary of the best darn-tootin sports institution to ever grace these here United States! Y'all know I'm talking about NASCAR!

Yep, this week marks the 63rd anniversary of the founding of the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (wow, it does actually stand for something), known to all you rednecks as your beloved NASCAR. So crab your truckers cap, mullet styler, lucky strikes and a big case of Bud-Heavy and let's delve into this unfortunate American tradition.

"Already on it"

NASCAR got its start, like most traditions in the south, around booze. Stock car racing originated during Prohibition, when Moonshiners developed fast, lightweight cars in order to deliver their products while evading the cops. For those of you who've never been to the Appalachians, those roads can get pretty twisty, so it took some ingenious moonshiners to come up with the best and most effective liquor-smuggling machines.

Like this guy!

Eventually people found that it was a dang good time just to race these cars, and stock car racing started to become popular throughout the South. NASCAR really got its start though, in Daytona Beach, Florida where William France organized an official stock car racing league. This league was officialy christened the South's beloved NASCAR on February 21st 1948.

Today NASCAR is the second most watched sport in the United States with an estimatated 75 million fans. These fans apparently purchse over $3 billion worth of sports-related product each year. Thats a helluva lot of beer-dispensing hats. The NASCAR fan is a unique breed of American that doesn't occur to much in these here parts. You can make fun of 'em all day but in the end, they like what they like and don't care what you think, which I guess it a good way to live your life, especially if you're missing a few teeth.

Personally, I'm more of a "real" sports kinda girl and the thought of watching a car drive around an oval for 3 hours doesn't seem like a good time to me, no matter how many Budweisers I could choke down prior to it.


Why most of the world hates Americans..

I Love You! Here, Have a Cavity!

2011-02-14T12:45:00.000-08:00

Well folks, today is Valentine's Day, the day where those in love flaunt their feelings and those of us who aren't bitch and moan about how it's a "stupid holiday built on commercialism." And because I want to be fair to both parties, I'm going to dedicate this blog to the history of everyone's favorite ant-acid: the candy conversation heart.
They're EVERYWHERE this time of year and, just like Marsh mellow Peeps and Cadbury Creme Eggs, tend to disappear for the rest of the year, much to the delight of those who abhor showing any happiness or emotion.


Will U Be Mine?

In fact, conversation hearts have a pretty interesting story that dates back to the Civil War, when sugary candies with rolled-up romantic messages were enjoyed right before someone speared you with a Confederate bayonet.

Lookin' Good

Just kidding, in fact the candies were mostly enjoyed at weddings and contained some sort of whimsical saying such as "Married in White, You've Chosen Right" or "Married in Satin Love won't be Lasting." Clearly they weren't going for a rhyme on the second one, there.

Modern conversation hearts were first produced in the early 1900s and today are produced primarily by the Necco corporation. Necco is famous for Necco Wafers, Mary Jane's and other candies that your Grandparents have probably had in their cupboards since 1950.

No Grandpa, I don't want Ribbon Candy..

Obviously the most popular sayings, such as "Kiss me" and "Be Mine" have stood the test of time, but Necco has always strives to keep with the times. In the 90's they first started modernizing their phrases by adding "Email Me" and "Fax me" to the collection of heartwarming phrases. It makes one wonder what they'll come up with next. "Skype Me?" or what about "Facebook Stalk Me?".

Despite the modernization, after 145 years later this candy is still going strong. This fact kind of surprises me though, because have you ever actually tried to eat one? They're hard as rocks. Sometimes you get a nice, soft, yummy one but most of the time I bite into one and wonder if I'm biting into my own tooth. That kind of kills the mood.

So, if you have a Valentine of not, enjoy the day and be thankful for all the people you do love this year, even if they don't buy you candy. Happy Valentines Day! <3

Best Thing to Happen To Music; The Worst Thing to Happen to Hair

2011-02-06T13:30:00.000-08:00

"The British are coming, the British are coming!"
In 1775 this message would have been brought to you by a fat silversmith on a horse, and would have aroused hundreds of strapping minutemen from their beds and running to gather their muskets and hardtack.

Fast forward 189 years and this statement was delivered by radio and instead of arousing anger, it, quite literally, aroused thousands of young women and sent them scrambling for JFK airport.


I don't think I've ever been that excited for anything, ever.

Yes, on February 7th 1964 The Beatles arrived in the United States for the first time. "I Want To Hold Your Hand" had been playing for 2 weeks in America by then and apparently the band wasn't sure how they were going to be received in America, especially since they had such a crazy fan-base back home. Well I think we proved that anything Britain can do America can do better because when the plane landed in the US there were an estimated 3 thousand hormone-fueled fans to greet them. And by greet them I mean scream at them until their lungs collapsed.

When the band appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show two days later it was viewed by 40% of the American public. No bands been that popular since, well, I guess N'Sync was pretty popular.

dreamy.

Anyway, I know fully well that the Beatles changed the course of music history and rock and roll, so they get my respect. I'm not the biggest fan of their music though. Don't get me wrong, I like some songs like "I get by with a little help from my friends" and "I want to hold your hand" but other than that I never really got into them. It doesn't help that "Across the Universe" was a freakin' weird movie. And I like musicals. This just puts me in more of a minority here at Skidmore, but considering I'm a Country music fan, I never really aspired to fit in musically anyway.

Despite this I'm still open to new things, and if y'all have any good Beatles tunes you want to send my way in honor of this week, feel free to do so!

Anyone notice that yellow Volkswagen on the left is on the sidewalk? I wonder if the driver got a ticket..

Folktale of a Furry Al Roker

2011-01-31T18:31:00.000-08:00

Well, I think I speak for 90% of the United States when I say that it is FREAKING cold outside right now. As they would say on thefuckingweather.com: "It ain't jogging weather." But for those of us who are tired of dressing up like the Michelin man just to check the mail or make sure the family dog didn't freeze to the tree it was peeing on, there's a beacon of hope on the horizon. Wednesday February 2nd is Groundhog Day, the one day of the year where perfectly sensible human beings rely on an overweight rodent to forecast the longevity of winter. I doubt I'm the only one willing to sell my soul for an early spring and this year I'm countin' on the pudgy-fella to end this tortuous season.

A Hipster's worst nightmare

But while we anxiously (or not so anxiously) await Wednesday morning, I'll amuse you all with the story of Groundhog Day and the ~~freaking weird~~ enthusiastic people who keep the tradition alive today.

It's widely believed that groundhog day originated from the European Christian tradition of "Candlemas day." If the sun shined on Candlemas day, a longer winter could be expected. This was bad, considering that back then people had to grow their own food and Toe Warmers hadn't been invented yet. Those early settlers brought that tradition to America and somehow, over the years a groundhog naturally became involved. The first modern celebration of Groundhog Day took place in Punxsutawney Pennsylvania in 1886, where the tradition still lives on today.

Today Groundhog Day is celebrated in Punxsutawney the same way it has been for the last 125 years, they even use the same groundhog!. Yes, Punxsutawney Phil has been making his yearly prognostications for well over a hundred years. How is that so? Well because every year he drinks from the Elixir of Life of course! Duh! I'm not making this up. Punxsutawney Phil allegedly gets his longevity from sipping the Elixir of Life at the yearly Groundhog Picnic.

Ponce De Leon is Furious

So each year, up to 40,000 people with nothing better to do gather around Gobbler's Knob (hehe) and wait for Phil to emerge from his burrow and make his prediction. Perhaps emerge isn't the right word though, because every time I've watched it seems as if the poor fella is dragged out of his winter-coma and into the freezing outdoors. Anyways, the members of Phil's "Inner Circle," (Whose 25 members include the President, Secretary, Stump Warden and Sky Painter), gather around the burrow and await the much anticipated augury. Phil then makes his prediction to the President of the Inner circle, who then translates it for the rest of the world. Translates, you might ask? Well, Punxsutawney Phil is a groundhog, therefore he speaks, no lie, "Groundhogease," a language only the President of the Inner circle can understand. Yep. Look it up.

Are they talking about me in a different language? Damn it!

Punxsutawney Phil might be the most famous groundhog in the world, but he's far from the only forecast making fur ball in the Western Hemisphere. In Ontario they have Wiarton Willie, who is a more realistic but still remarkable 22 years old and in the S.E. United States, citizens follow the word of General Beauregard Lee, who probably served in the Civil war.

When not hibernating or making predictions about the speed of the seasons, most groundhogs prefer to dig holes, eat grass and stand around in fields looking for something that might eat them. Also, for those simpletons who are unfamiliar with Groundhogease, here's a short but handy translation:

Here's to hoping for an Early Spring!