Got to Believe

Finally an update!

2013-05-17T21:19:00.001-07:00

Sorry it's been so long since a update but we been pretty busy. With keeping up with Chase's appointments, the kids, my appointments and health and the house.

Chase has been in cast #3 for 7weeks now,only 2 more to go. I feel that 9 wks in this cast is going to be hard to hit but with Chicago's Shriners are pretty busy and I guess,I called a lil bit to late(4 wks after getting this cast) to get him in where he should be in his cast schedule. I learned this time I'm calling super early like first week in cast.

We officially have a walking little boy! 3 weeks ago he just decide he rather be walking then crawling. He was walking a little bit before but we had to really coach him and he would take a up to 10 or so steps. Now he is totally walking everywhere. Now he can bug his siblings more and get in to everything. After he got the walking down and got tubes placed in his ears, he also talks more now. He is growing up way to fast and I'm missing the baby stage so much.

I have been working on resolving some of my back and hip pain I been dealing with. We found out my lower few vertebras that aren't fused have curved( darn you scoliosis). And my right hip is higher then the left, I could feel that before the X-ray. So with that I developed snapping hip syndrome. Everything is connected from having scoliosis. All my pain drives me harder to make sure chase has the best shot of straightening his spine. So scoliosis is running my life I feel at this moment. Everything is planned around all our appointments and on the days we do have free, I recover or well try too.

Just A Short Update.

2013-03-05T09:39:00.006-08:00

I think I have said this before, But these 8 weeks are flying by with casting. Chase has now been in cast #2 for 6 weeks now. I can't wait for the week of cuddling and bath times. And cast # 3 is already planned and got the date,just got to get the hotel booked.

I finally just gave up and called in to my doctor to get my own scoliosis checked on. For a few months now lower back pain has been stopping me in my tracks. I am refusing to get more of my spine fused, So I hope they have another suggestion.If my rods are broke or bent or removed for any reason,well I will just have to figure out how to deal with that surgery.

I can tell the kids have been cooped up in the house for way to long now. The kids are at the point of bugging each other. And the fighting is CONSTANT.Can't wait for spring just to let them go out and run some of this energy out. And for this cold season to leave. With 4 kids in the house we always have one or 2 of them sick. And call me bad mother but I don't let them go out and play in this weather if they are sick. I think that's just asking for trouble.

My depression and anxiety are fully active. I might be getting the winter blues. I need the SUN light and the warm weather. I am trying my hardest not be go back on medication for it but I think my depression is starting to run my life. I have short level before getting irritated and have not want to do anything,but I push my self to try and get everything done. But I just don't do or want to do anything for "myself time".

Spring Better Be Around The Corner.

2013-02-13T11:33:00.000-08:00

So our first trip "in cast" went good. Flying was a bit different just for the fact chase laying on me with a bulky cast isn't anything comfortable and it cant be for him either. But thank god he slept on both flights.

Feb 2013

We enjoyed the Arizona weather and seeing the family we have out there. Chase got to be in his natural state of just in a shirt and diaper a lot. And I missed the tank top and flip flops that we don't have back here in Illinois right now.

Chase had them whipped. What chase wanted chase got! This boy would eat 3 breakfast most days.Ate so much dinner one night his lil tummy was sticking out of the cast more then I have ever seen and it couldn't of been comfortable.

Feb 2012

Every time I seen another kid that looked like my Step kids I would be thinking what they would be doing at the time of the day. Doesn't help that I can see John and Mike in Chase.

We been home for a couple of days now, and back in our routine. The break from appointments was nice. But its back to a full week schedule.

We got only in to week 2 of this cast with out a wet accident. It just ruins my day, because I am on high alert for cast sores and I never feel like I get the cast 100% dry.

Now that we are back in the COLD weather. I am in this "funk". Just sluggish, irritable, and depressed. I hope its just the weather. I miss going to the parks, for walk, and sitting outside.I just need to snap out of this feeling(easier said then done) .

It Can Be Done, I Got To Keep Tell Myself That.

2013-01-29T20:19:00.001-08:00

18month old+Traveling alone with 18mo old+Cast=I feel like a nightmare coming.....

I hate traveling alone, but makes me so nervous to travel with chase. I have flown more then 6 times and I still am scared to death of planes. I just imagine it now Chase crying on the airplane because he wants off my lap for 3-4hrs.I will cry right along with him. And what the hell do I do if he HAS to have diaper change on the plane? Oh my.....but once we land all that will be forgotten because it will just be a bit and I will see my family!

But any tips to keep him clam? After 2hrs in the car he cry's he wants out and he is just done.And that cast,Its bulky on him.Its are to keep a toodler from wiggling, but the cast doesn't help. Its hard to get a grip on him to keep him from wiggling. And I hate to see if someone by us has something he wants...Oh my..."Please keep tablets out of my childs eye sight, He will wanna play with it"

To get off topic, I have been dealing with some bad insomnia. I dont even remember when it started. It may been this way for my whole life. I cant just fall asleep. I am awake for what it feels like HOURS laying down. I end up,surfing the net, watching TV, drinking a bunch of water(then once I do go to sleep I end up waking up to go to the bath room). I just cant sleep. I been taking unisom(SP), to try and sleep. Its 10pm and I am tierd, but sleep yeah right.

Cast # 2 is proving to be different from the first. Chase is back to not having anything to do with independent steps at all. Crawling is even a bit difficult.I know its only been a week of this cast, but he seem use to it. But still gets mad at the cast pulls at the shoulder straps and after crawling for a long stretch or even just a little bit, he will just lay down and give in. It breaks my heart,I have to pick him up and cuddle him. I just want him to be able to do what ever he wants in this cast.But he is still doing great with his walker.

He feels lost on these weekends.

2013-01-26T19:06:00.001-08:00

Only a few more days until nice Arizona weather. I don't know anyone that likes this cold weather, and if you I'm sorry but your crazy!

Chase is in his bed telling him self a bedtime story. When his brother and sisters are gone its like all routine is out the window, I can just forget that he had one. All day he will stop at their bedrooms doors and knock and yell for them. It's kinda cute and sad at the same time.

I did absolutely nothing today. Should of did atleast a little but ahhh it will wait till tomorrow. I enjoy it but feel guilty on these types of days. They don't come often. I try my hardest to not let life run me over. But it is right now. Every little thing in my life is running me down.

On a good note Chase is attempting to take steps all by him self took 3 steps by himself. And his balance is getting better again he is back to being a pro with his walker. He can get anywhere he wants with it now.

I'll leave off with a old picture. I can remember Chase being that small like it was yesterday. He was so tiny, slept a lot, and kinda colicy( I don't miss that). He would sometimes sleep so much during the day I would just pick him up to cuddle and rock him. I still at night just wanna pick him up and rock my sleeping baby.

THE FLU! EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH THIS!

2013-01-25T14:31:00.001-08:00

The flu is very active right now. This video I found is very informational. You don't have to touch anything to get the flu....

Just Watch!

Just Some Facts...Did You Know?

2013-01-25T13:37:00.002-08:00

I get a lot of scoliosis questions, from family and friends. So here are some facts I know.

Idiopathic Scoliosis (idiopathic meaning nothing causing the scoliosis) is mostly seen in teenage girls.

Idiopathic infantile scoliosis is opposite, more then half is seen in boy than girls.

Idiopathic infantile scoliosis is thought to either be developing while a fetus due to uterus pressure or after birth from laying the baby flat on its back and causing a flat spot on the skull or developing a spinal curve. (Chase's doctors are convinced that he inherited it)

90% of idiopathic infantile scoliosis in the US will need treatment. It will just disappear on its own.

Site Ref.

Most infantile scoliosis curves are left thoracic and with juvenile scoliosis most curves are right thoracic. ( This is one statistic Chase doesn't not follow, His is right thoracic with infantile scoliosis. This could be do to inheritance, Mine if I am not mistake I think is to the right also,)

Site Ref.

I have done tons of researching and know most risks of bracing VS casting.And have talked to Dr. Hammerburg who applies EDF casting. Bracing will just hold the curve or slow the progressive down. While after getting the spine the straightest they can with casting( and with what I see they can get them pretty well under 10 degrees with casting and the child can start off with 50+ deg. But aslo depends on the little spine) Dr Hammerburg and other doctors applying EDF casting can successively brace.

Chase will make his own path in this journey. I do not look at all statistics and think chase will follow them like the statistic of children needing surgery if casting don't work.But If we was to think about another child( Which we aren't!) I can't say that the risk of scoliosis wouldn't be in the back of my head.

Chase Is Becoming A Pro At This Casting(Cast#2)

2013-01-22T08:22:00.002-08:00

Favorite book.

Four hour car rides seem so much longer then what they are. But Chase is a pretty good traveler, as long has we have Thomas the train DVDs,Snacks,toys,books and mommy's humor.

On these trips its filled with so much emotion and usually unspoken. On the way up its kinda sad for us, no more close snuggles and not having to worry about spills on the cast and he love to go around in just a diaper and what parent doesn't like to see their kid in their little happy moments(Not saying we don't have that in cast). I still have a fear of putting him under anastasia. July 2012 is still fresh in our minds of the reaction he had. I know its not healthly, but to be a strong mother I sweep these fears under a rug just to not show it.

"Hey, I missed you"

Like normal, He found his buddy back at the hotel. Now he even talks to the baby in the mirror and offer it some food. I really think we need a wall of mirror in his room, but if we did that we would never get him out of his room.

The hotel we stay at is a very nice place. Right by O'Hara airport and is always busy. So chase's yelling knocking and running in to everything thing in his walker gets over looked because its never just a quite moment there.

Wheres baby?

Their is no moment of down time on casting trips. No sleep, no sitting down and relaxing, no sitting down enjoying a meal with out chase on my lap,and if you have the laptop out. Its not your turn to check your email or anything, its chase's time to press buttons to find out what every single button does. I even lost the baby in the hotel room didn't know it was possible. Until I heard lil giggles and a foot hanging out of the closet door.

We had our first Chicago style deep dish. Oh let me tell you. It was GOOD. Two slices and it feels ya up

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What a long day a casting day can be. Chase wasn't a happy camper at the hospital. Tired and hungry calls for a cranky child. We met up with another family that I have been talking to for a while now.Chase and their son is right around the same age. It was nice to sit down and talk with them,we could relate on a lot. Chase was trying out his lil buddies trick of chewing on a tooth brush to keep occupied, it worked for a bit.

When they finally took chase back, that's when time sits still and seem like forever before I get to hold my baby. Dr H and Linda came out to talk with us after casting. And you could tell on Dr H's face he wasn't delighted with great news.We wasn't expecting the best numbers, from already seeing his x-rays and hearing numbers from local radiology.Chase lost 8 degrees with the first cast. Not what we all was hoping for but with casting there is no protocol numbers,their is no chart of" well after first cast with a beginning curve of -- it should be to this --. No every child every curve is different. And tried to prepare us that this will not be a short road of casting. Chase started off with a pretty big curve. All I was thinking was my boy is 8 degrees less then that big curve he started off with YAY! Now in cast number two he was 52 out of cast and in cast they got him down to a whooping 15 degrees. We are just waiting for that growth spurt to hit and numbers to even go down faster with growth in the cast.

Chase is getting back to his normal self now. A bit top heavy and will fall backwards while sitting but no crying because of it."That's my boy!". He is happy and watching his sprout. Sesame street is really popular now. As long has big bird isn't on their. He is kinda scared of big bird.

Stay tuned for pictures of Cast#2!!!!Coming Soon.

Chase is a little pro with with walker.

Got To Keep Hoping!

2013-01-15T16:07:00.001-08:00

So right out of cast chase got a x-ray. We was curious of what the curve did in cast.Chase started off with a 60 degree curve and in cast he was at amazing 23 degrees. We was also curious of correction right out of cast and what it would be a week out of cast going in to cast number 2.

Dr H re-insured me at Chase's last appointment,this will not be a short process. That being 23 in cast doesn't me he will be 23 out of cast.And it all will depend on chase's growing. He didn't feel that chase would progress worse in numbers in cast because they do believe Chase has a "idiopathic" type of scoliosis,meaning there is nothing causing it.

I was not ready to see this x-ray, it broke my heart and made me give up hope at that moment. With support of my friends and family I cant give up hope on this treatment for chase's sake. But in the back of my mind the worst is running threw it. "What if this treatment don't work on my baby"" What if he is being casted till the age of 6, that 4 and half years of casting". But I just got to ignore them thoughts and Pray for good numbers with cast number 2. Going threw scoliosis my self has been easier then this.But when its your baby,and your making decisions for another little human its hard,If you make a decision about your health its you living with it for the rest of your life, But this is my child.He is the one is physically going threw it,and cant speak of what he wants or if you could talk over it he wouldn't understand the concept of this. We just cant let this go and hope and pray its ok.

Goodbye Cast#1!

2013-01-13T08:41:00.002-08:00

Yesterday will be one of the best days of 2013,We got to remove our baby's ''turtle shell". And he made mommy proud. We was braced to see chase cry and have to hold him down from fighting us and that NEVER happened. He had the doctor all nervous for nothing. While getting the cast pealed off,my heart broke. Seeing my son sitting up straight and ribs not that bad displaced. Taking the cast off, and everything feel in to place where we started before.I guess my hopes were up a little high. All I could do was forget about Chase's spine and just love on him.

He came home and got right in the bath,after some much needed daddy cuddles.

All now is pray that Cast number 2 is better. That little man will have a good growth spurt while in a cast!

And we leave this blog off with a video of Chase being such a good boy...Chase's Doctor is great with him and I couldn't ask for a better doctor for him.(This was out at our local hospital not Chicago Shriners)

Watch Out World, Chase Is Walking!

2013-01-11T13:07:00.001-08:00

What a good start of the year. Chase is getting cast#2 in a week,AND he is WALKING. I was worried that the day would never come. I have been waiting for this day. Every time he would was holding on to something and let go,my heart would be beating fast and I was ready to yell in excitement. He had his own little timeline and it wasn't just yet time. And yesterday he just surprised all when we making him take a step or 2. The number of steps just gotten more and more and we went for 2-3 steps at a time to...11 and today he did 17 for me.Its a big milestone for every baby. But a HUGE one for chase.

It looks like this cast will be off on Monday. Bright and early 7:30am. And a LONG bath afterwards.Chase gets a week out of cast then off to Chicago for the 2nd cast. This time around should be easier, I hope. But I don't think it ever gets easier handing your baby over to a nurse before they put him to sleep and not being able to hold his hand threw the whole thing.

Kids are back in to school mode, and the first few days with out them home was different. I hate changes, and not having them around all day gets lonely. Before we know it school will be out for the summer and WE all will miss school time LOL.

Talking about summer, Oh my this nice weather we are having is great. Its back to just hoodie weather. But the weather needs to make up its mind. Either stay 20 degrees or 60's. It won't be long until Chase and I are enjoying weather like this or warmer out in Arizona in Feb for Grandma's Birthday!

And this Birthday stuff, needs to stop. I can't believe my oldest step daughter(or should I say soon to be) is 14. Two more years we will have a driver on our hands. Just crazy I tell ya!

I will end with a poem I found on Facebook. It made me cry when I read it. Its what I feel in my heart.....

"If before you were born, I could have gone to heaven and saw all the beautiful souls, I still would have chosen you...

If God had told me, "This soul would one day need extra care and needs," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me, "This soul may make your heart bleed," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me, "This soul would make you question the depth of your faith," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me "This soul would make tears flow from your eyes that could fill a river," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me "This soul may one day make you witness overbearing suffering," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me, "All that you know to be normal would drastically change," I still would have chosen you...

Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you." Terri Banish.

I could swear last year was just yesterday! Did I blink to long?

2012-12-29T20:44:00.003-08:00

Time is traveling so fast. At times it feels like its moving so slow but when its the end of December and everyone is reflecting on year, So much has happened and it doesn't seem like that long ago. I can still remember things from the beginning of 2012 that feels like it was just last month.I can remember every little detail of days. ( Now my short term memory is just crap,I cant tell you what I had for breakfast yesterday with out having to think for 10mins). And having a good long term memory isn't a good thing either. Some of the stuff I would like to just forget a lot of the details too. I can tell you what day or a week of when everything has happend with Chase.

All I can do is thank god, we are all in good health. Well on the right track with chase's. And that nothing else has really came up with anyone in our family. This will be the year that we can remember that we have a lot of great things in life that we have to fight for. This is the year that the internet and another's mothers blog that led me to believe that we needed to change treatments with chase,and found EDF casting. Scoliosis will always be a big part of my life. I will never stop praising god who put it in my heart to not just sit back and be quite and trust that a M.D at the end of a Doctors name makes him right at his opinion of treatment.

We had some good times in 2012, long summer days swimming,indoor water gun fights, the joy of kids birthdays, racing nights, family get together's, Just to many to name really.I could sit here for hours and type of stories of little memories that will never be forgotten.

Every year is never the same, use to be just about every year since 17,I was either living in a new state, or town. 2010 I fought for my life, and proudly won. 2011 I had my pride and joy a little over a year after my life battle. And now 2012, is the battle of chase's scoliosis. And I hope next year, I can say around this time of year that its just been a smooth year. But in 12 months, something is bond to happen that will change something a out look, a lost, a hard time. Life is never easy, But doesn't make it bad life at all. I am 25( had to correct my self there I first had 24,forgot I aged a year). I have been threw more then the average person my age, and I can't say that I would change anything in my past. It could of changed my path, and I may not of have the life I have now,4 soon to be step children and a son. I would like to think sometimes everything happens for a reason.

Ok enough blabbering I will bore ya guys :)

Here are some recent pictures I have took.

Chase was talking about something, and was really getting in to it with his hands. He is very animated talker.

My girls!

John's new happy napper his new pal.

Chase gave up after opening 2 presents and wanted to just play with them.

John and his new farm animal set,I tried to get pictures of everyone and help chase along and pay attach to all of them yelling "look look"

Before Cast(60 degrees),and in Cast xrays(23 degrees)

Look at them ribs, and is spine. That curve looks so tiny and GREAT compared to before.I just hope his number is great once the cast comes off. I am rooting for a 50 or even 45.

Oh small little update too. With the kids being home and chase getting more interaction he is now doing more once again. He will put objects in, he mumbled big bird, and plays peek-a-boo. Walking is still at a stand still in progress. If you don't let him crawl and make him try to walk to some one that is 3 ft away he will take 1-2 independent step. Every time he trys, my heart races and I hold my breath just waiting to be able to yell and cry that he is walking. Don't get me wrong I am proud of them little steps. But it has me worried for him being 17 months old and not walking yet, while physical therapy tells me its nothing to really worry about yet in the back of my mind I'm freaking. I just want the best for my baby. But I think he is like mommy and brobber, little bit nervous to try new things.

I Got To Believe This Will Get Easier, When Really It Shouldn't Be This Hard.

2012-12-16T18:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday anxiety kicked in. Chase woke up with a over loaded diaper of pee. Which got the cast wet. This was my worst night mare,we made it 3 weeks and 4 days with out re-padding or having to blow dry the cast. I was on cloud 9 thinking this journey for chase and us was going to be easy.5 Yesterday hit harder then what I thought it would be just to have the cast get wet. I freaked, once again I felt like a horrible mother. While sitting there blow drying the cast for about a hour I found a sore. First I swore it was infected. What a bad mother I was my son got a infection under his cast and this was all my fault,I take care of him,I feel its my fault he has Progressive Infantile Scoliosis so in the end its my fault he has the cast. I know its not true but in moments I do blame myself a lot just because on my side of the family has scoliosis and I have a bad case of it. So after beating myself up over a accident of urine in the cast that I knew has happened to a lot of kids and they warn you, You will deal with poop up the back of the diaper and over load pee diapers. So after spending some time on the phone with Shiners hospital and sending pictures to them. We agreed it doesn't look infected and looks like a cast rub spot of where it was wet. So its like a diaper rash. It had me on edge all day. Thank god mike was home to re-pad and moleskin(medical tape).

I don't want to miss any lil new Chase does. I love everyday. But I sometimes wish its years from now and my son has a straight spine, and we have this casting in the past.Yes I do know, casting isn't a for sure thing. There is nothing in stone saying this cast will cure this crooked spine. But I pray everyday this gets in to a manageable degree that surgery isn't needed at any point of his life. I can tell you this, if I hear he needs surgery I wont just take one doctors opinion I will drive anywhere or fly anywhere to get the BEST OF THE BEST. And if that means begging Dr Min Metha her self(she is the great doctor to come up with EDF casting) to look at chase's case. I will.

In the end of the day, I can tell you. Seeing my child go threw this is the hardest thing I have ever did. I have had 4 surgeries in my life,battled crohn's disease for 9 years now and not even a year after just about losing my life to crohn's I had my son. This tops it all. I may not feel is physical pain. But my heart hurts for him,I have shed more tears over this imaginable.But if you see my out and about,I'll tell you I'm doing just fine.Because I got to be strong.

I Feel My Self Shutting Down

2012-12-13T16:52:00.001-08:00

I just wanna lock the door to the bedroom and just breath alone. No phone, No computer nothing but silence. But I think I would go mad. With everything going on with my baby just hear them question something else just minor to what his back is doing to him, just makes me want to scream " What Next?"...Why my son. Can't we just catch a break. I feel bad for feeling like this and kick my self in the butt for it because it could be worse. But it hurt me that my baby boy is going threw so much and not knowing a bit. All he know is he has to wear this cast. That make's it difficult sometimes to move around like he wants to but he finds new ways around it.

I thank god everyday we found out about EDF casting, that if we stuck with what our original orthopedic doctor chase, would be for sure be facing growth rods by the age of 5 or 6 which would be surgery after surgery for them and not to mention the risks and complications they hold.. Don't get me wrong EDF casting isn't a for sure going to save him from any surgery but give better chance's. And maybe a CURE!

I been reading Crooked Love a book written by a mother that son was CURED by EDF treatments. Went from 63degree curve to a 1degree. I don't think it was the right time for me to be reading this book.I should of waited till all the emotional pain had subsided till reading this what for me is a very emotional well written book. With being 75percent in to the book I cant stop now.

I cant wait till one day when chase is old enough to understand what he went threw, and the hard choices we made. And did everything we could for him to have the best outcome for him all the sleepless nights I had...and all the research I did because I didnt feel like I was doing enough for my baby.

In the end I think this part of my life has changed me so much. Right now I still feel like we are in the dark with this first cast,But I know this is making a stronger mother and person.

Our Family Needs Their Own TV Show.

2012-12-10T09:39:00.000-08:00

While picking up Dar, She commented that our family should have its own show. With everything going on and never a boring moment. My first response to this was"yeah I would call it, Wheres the Prozac?" Because sometimes I question I should be on something. Things get crazy here and I just wanna yell TIME OUT. But the world around us and our bodies just wont take a TIME OUT. I tried that.

I was crazy enough to think going to Springfield to shop would be a great idea Saturday. With 2 more weeks till Christmas, everyone and their mothers thought it would be a great idea too I think. I wanted to once again ask my self am I crazy, I should really be on Prozac. I yelled out the window to the girl honking her horn behind me. Which then I had to explain to Cady and Dalton that traffic makes people crazy and it not right to go off on someone, while I still wanted to stick my head out the window and tell the girl behind if she thinks she can cut in between cars be my guest. Toys r us was crazy like Black Friday crazy just minus the lines. 14 pink elephants that pop out balls and not a one blue! On I was so temped to just get the pink. Chase is young enough he wont remember he had a cool awesome toy that just happened to be pink. But mikes voice was in my head telling me "its pink,come on really" and making fun of me for getting it. So I got chase a manly toy instead, a toddler tool table.(from grandma and grandpa AZ.)

The Christmas tree is up and all the decorations. Even some presents under the tree. But one thing is missing. SNOW. It just don't feel like the holidays when it was just 60 degrees last weekend.

Chase is becoming one stinking child. The tops of his cast smells from drool. Only a month left in this cast and this momma cant wait to put chase in the bath tub. I wish we could frebeeze his cast.

All I want for christmas is....My baby walking!

2012-12-05T20:21:00.002-08:00

I am a blog lacker, I have been lacking on writing on here all year long. But really nothing to report.I could tell you all about my day like what people do on face book...." Well I woke up and ate breakfast..blah blah blah blah" But I don't want to bore my readers.

All the kiddos are doing good. And really nothing exciting to shout out. We have a pretty good routine going. And nothing really eventful has happened.I guess that can be a good thing. We have not had a sick kiddo yet this season. I on the other hand has been hit by a chest and head cold which might have sent me in to a small flare up with my crohn's( I NEED remicade).

Chase has been on a learning spree these passed 2 wks. He will blow kisses, clap, play patty cake(in his own little cute way), wave hi(when he wants too) and he is trying so hard to walk. He will take one or to independent step is you coach him along. Physical Therapy brought in a walker today for him to use to get use to walking with good posture. He looks such like a little boy and not my baby boy when walking. Its bitter sweet to watch him grow. Because its just to fast and all the little new things his his doing make me so happy!But I keep looking for the pause button.

And for his cast,we all are doing great with it. Diaper changes aren't that bad any more. And he has not had any accidents where we had to un-pad it and re pad it or blow dry it. He has 5wks and 5 days left in it I think.Then its close cuddles,and squishy hugs and lots of fun in the bath tub for a week.

Here is a oldie but a goodie.This was 14 months ago. Its kinda hard to remember Chase this tiny. He was around 6-7 pounds then.

I Found This On YouTube,Had To Share.

2012-11-26T12:40:00.001-08:00

Had to share this. I have been reading a lot for Dr Sturm. He is with Cincinnati Children's Hospital.

And for a lot of people that I have talked to wondering how they apply the cast he is another YouTube video.

Now We Can Say, We Feel We Have Hope.

2012-11-25T20:09:00.004-08:00

I know I am kinda slacking on blogging.Forgive me,I have 3 step kids here at home and my Lil curvy boy that keeps me busy with his calender. Yes I said his calender,looking at my appointment book its filled with his appointments and plus my own here and there appointments(I hope I still have a GI doctor I been putting him off).

We made our big Chicago trip for Chase's casting.It was filled with fear and hope and excitement. Fear of the unknown, not knowing what chase would think of his cast and still having that feeling of are we doing the best thing possible but I know in my heart we are(there will be no surgery on my baby with out me putting up a fight). Hope of this treatment WILL work,its got too. And excitement of we are finally after knowing of his Progressive scoliosis for 6 months we are getting it correctly treated. Chase did GREAT on casting day and just adjusting to having his cast on. Mommy is worried about it then baby is. Chase is doing everything that he was doing before cast. He even uses the cast to hold him self up on walls and the sofa. And with cloths on you would never know he had it on. I am worried about his neck, the way he has to crawl and cant bend his neck up and holds his head with the cast on. I am worried the torticallis will come back so I will show my concerns to his chiropractor and see what he says.


Pre-op waiting. He was watching Thomas.

Beans cheering Chase on, Chase loves to crawl up and down the hall way. It still hard to catch him.

Shut it Sister!

He Loves his sissy.

After coming home,(which I have lost Wednesday this I forget what we did that day) Thursday we had thanksgiving with mikes parents then it was off to black Friday shopping with Dar and Crystal. We had a pretty fun 7 hours of shopping. Mike stayed home with chase, and daddy got a taste of what mommy does all day of chasing him around and running me around like crazy and didn't wanna go to bed for daddy because he just wasn't mommy.

We had a fun and busy weekend. And I just feel like getting in the bathtub with a glass of wine. But we don't have any. So a nice hot bath will just have to do. :)

I do have to give a shout out to all the casting mom's. Thank you guys so much for all the support and words of wisdom. I could do this with out you guys. I am a big worry wart and I would still be freaking out about everything. If it wasn't for you guys. Laura and Kelli, you guys have been AWESOME.

And here are some pictures to leave off with....

Look Closely Cady Got Her Ears Pierced!

Crazy baby up at 3am at the hotel. And no he didn't go back to bed.


Mike got me a wedding set this weekend too. I love me rings. The wedding band will be worn soon. For now I wear my engagement ring	.

A Weekend of Pictures!

2012-10-16T09:41:00.003-07:00

We are one busy family. I feel like a dog chasing my tale sometime. One tip I have for any family is to write down everything. I have been living off of 2 calenders and with Chase's medical history and on going treatment if you would call it that is so in detail I have to write down anything and everything. If I ever lost my calendar book and Chase's medical note book I would be lost.


The sheep just loved the attention.

We found time this weekend to take some time away from the house. Chase has been sick with a cough so has mike and john. So Dar,Cady and I went to the harvest fest.

We fed some goats,petted sheep, went on a hay ride,and picked some pumpkins.

We enjoyed the day out but couldn't stop feeling like we was missing 3 other kids and Dad along. We now sometime this week got to do something with out pumpkins.

We having all the reports need to shriners. Now it should be this week that we Chase's casting date which should be with in the next week or 2. Praying we get Nov 4 as a casting date. I hear that a lot of casting family I have been talking to will be going that day also. I am still a emotional wreck. I feel my depression really setting in. And I feel depressed that I even feel this way. But I keep most of it hidden in.

Mommy and Babycakes

We had a fun filled picture weekend!

Just seems like yesterday,but really its been 10 years.

2012-10-09T15:54:00.001-07:00

It went from warm summer to BAM its fall, its pretty cold out. Put away the summer cloths and got the nice warm comfy close out this weekend. The awful cold is going around the family house already too. YUCK.

With no news from Chicago Shriners yet on when Chase will be getting his first cast. And if not anytime in the near future. We got Cincinnati children's hospital and SLC Utah Shriners willing to take on chase's case and both agree on EDF casting. With every pasting month or even week,we are losing time. Did you know the human spine grows 50% of its growth in the first 2 years. So we got roughly 10 months of this growth spurt time to hit this curve hard! I don't want to waste this time.

Today marked 10 years since I had my surgery for my scoliosis. I have 2 Harrington rods going down my back. Having had this done, drives the pushy mommy in me. I am meaning I will do what ever it takes to make sure Chase is on the right path of treatment to make his chance's less of ever having to ever have these rods. What they didn't tell me and my parents when I had them placed that I would probably looking at atleast another spinal fusion. I found out 4 years ago that I'm already in need of this. My new surgeon told me wait till my lower back is hurting and that's our time to start planing the fusion. Well its been hurting 2 years now. And even worse now after chase was born. I am fighting it and putting it off longer now. Can you imagine being down for 6-8 weeks not being able to carry you 1 year old around that is also in a cast. Yeah not possible at this time.

I know my blog has been taken over by scoliosis and chase's health. Well that's my life right now. I have no other life at the moment other then appointments, the house, kids and the stuff that needs to get done. I hope stuff gets to slow down around here. This mommy is just tired and wore out. I have gotten use to everything well the schedule of it. Mentally, I'm exhausted and overwhelmed still and question everything.

We finally are on the road to straightening a ugly spine of our cute little boy.

2012-10-01T11:12:00.002-07:00

With 503 miles behind us, I feel like we are now on the right road of getting chase's Progressive Infantile Scoliosis straightened out. We left mid morning for Chicago.With the only thing on my mind was knowing this probably will be the first of many trips to Chicago.

I hated to think what chase was thinking of everything going on. One long trip staying in a weird place where he had to sleep and it just wasn't like home. Then the driving in Chicago is SO crazy. I don't know how he could take a nap in the crazy driving. But he did enjoy the closet doors in the hotel full length mirrors he spent most of his time in the hotel room admiring the cute baby in the mirror.

The whole time we was in Chicago waiting for 9a.m. Friday to come. I felt that feeling you have waiting in the doctors office waiting room when your waiting for test results. That unknown fear. The feeling I have had since I knew chase's best chance of beating this ugly spine condition would be getting him in to a doctor that does this type of casting. I still have this heavy feeling on my heart for chase. What he has to go threw. I know in the end he will be better but its going to be a long road.

Friday 9am could of not came any slower. We got there and felt like for ever waiting for them to call "Chase".Once back there we didn't have much wait at all to see the nurse then a intern and finally the doctor. Everything the doctor said I have already read on the internet. The intern need to learn some more stuff before she should be aloud to see patients. She looked at me and shock her head like I took my son to a witch doctor when I told her my son has been seeing a chiropractor for his torticalis in his neck. For one she practically refused to think he ever had it in the beginning because he don't show it now. When she was telling Dr Hammerburg Chase's medical history she mentioned that he had torticalis and parents have been taking him to a chiropractor for it. And he looked at his neck and was stated "well he don't have it now". All that was said. But down to the main part of the appointment. Chase had x-rays done and good news is the curve is still at 60 degrees(Cobb angle) Bad news is its still at 60 degrees and hasn't went down. Dr. Hammerburg's feels casting will be better for chase.But the better results with casting is seen in lowing degrees. 60 degrees is a pretty high number. This curved developed in 4 months or less. We don't know how fast it grew ,we just know the time frames of a chest x-ray chase had to get done 4 month before we took him to the doctors because his ribs just started looking weird. A curve of 80-100 can be dangerous. Progressive Infantile Scoliosis is the leading orthopedic condition to be fetal for infants. No one hates likes hearing that. But its something that makes you even hug your kids a lil bit tighter.

Saturday Mike had to work,so it was just me plus the 5 kiddo's. Once they came over and had to pick one up out of town. Which it was a good car ride to clear my mind. All the kids in a good mood and singing alone with the radio. Just going do some country road(which the kids love because its one hilly little road). Which I know pretty good because I use to drive it home a lot when I lived 10 miles away from Litchfield. How simple life us to be then. I had my friends over for dinner and went to the drive in for the last time this year. Mike and Chase stand back from tiredness. It was good spending some one on one time with the kids. But I couldn't help but still think about my little baby boy that was sleeping in his crib.

Even when not at a appointment for chase or in Chicago.For what he is going threw and this family with him is always on my heart.I see how people and kids look at him with just the brace on not knowing why he has it. It breaks my heart that my little boy isn't getting attention for his big blue eyes or that he should be a baby for Gerber advertisement like a lot of people says he should. But because he is different and people just don't know what progressive infantile scoliosis is. I know he will be OK threw this. Its just the long road, the ignorant people, the challenges, and the unknown that's on our hearts.

So right now we are just playing the waiting game again. Dr Hammerburg's nurse will be calling sometime this week to be telling us when Chase's first casting day is.

Blogger's Love To Read Other Blogs!

2012-09-18T22:04:00.000-07:00

I have been doing a lot of reading blogs lately. Some I just have to share..I have been reading one amazing woman's blog everyday now since I did some research of my own for my son's condition Girl To Mom's blog is one of the greatest blogs I personally came a crossed. Also a great blog, I think that help's explain a child going threw EDF casting is The Infantile Scoliosis Chronicles. I have been trying to read every I can about Chase's Scoliosis. The more I know, the more I can help chase in the decisions I may have to make in his treatment.

I swear chase gets in these growth spurts of new words and actions. All of sudden out of no where its like BANG chase changes his bed time, is talking more, and trying to walk. He has been arguing with me all day. Throwing his hands around yelling and have this look on his face of seriousness.And like 4 new words in 3 days. He will drop a toy and say bye bye to it. So freaking cute how he does it. Now I am just blabbering away about little things that babies normally do. But when its your child, its the cutest thing ever and you wanna get your camera but when them moments come you do have it in your hand!

We are having a problem with little runner's around here.All the kids wanna run in the house,and now one of them is getting in trouble in school for running in the school. So I suggested to mike that we have the kids write "I will not run in the hall way" demending on which child it is at our home and their age will depend on how many times we feel is fair for their age. And if we get a note from school. After going over school rules of no running and way sentience will be punishment.

How do you deal with punishment for certain things?

A Productive Weekend With The Conlee Kids!

2012-09-17T15:16:00.001-07:00

So we had a productive weekend at The Conlee House. Got everything straightened out to be messed up this week. This week is just like any other week filled with Chiropractor,PT, Looking for a good hotel in Chicago,and getting ready for next week. On top of all the stay at home mommy duty's.This week didn't start off good. Me and Chase are sick! First colds of the season. Good ol mucus draining in the back of the throat waking up with eyes mated,and top it all off a cough that seems to take away energy from me.

Chase has a new thing he loves to do. He know how to yell for "brober"=brother. The past 2 nights he had to play in johns room with him before bed.


My Little boy's

Chase took in FIRST step Saturday night while playing with John. I think you could of heard me a block away. Yelling,OMG he tried to walk. Momma was proud. But just look at them two, I swear chase is a little John Jr. We are all so use to seeing the brace on Chase and Chase is so use to it. I think we all forget he has it on.

"Conlee Angels"

Dar figured on how to use my phone and had a little photo-shoot of her own a couple of times this weekend. Cracks me up to see the pictures on my phone. She even got smart and learned how to post them on my Facebook.

We had a pretty good weekend,I must say. I had all 5 kids by myself. I really cant say it was horrible at all. We had some issues but your always going to have issues with a pre-teen?How do you punish your pre-teen for talking about,hiding messes in rooms(I use to do this my self all my childhood I'll admit I was a pack rat) and beating on siblings? If you took something away,how long was they grounded from it?

One Step Closer,But Still No Sight Of The End Yet.

2012-09-14T21:55:00.001-07:00

We got the call we have been waiting for every minute since Monday for. Shriners Hospital for Children's called. Chase has gotten a appointment with a doctor that can give us more hope and help to give him more of a chance of not having to go in for surgery. There will always be a chance till skeletal matured age. But EDF casting helps CURE Progressive Infantile Scoliosis. We all just gotta BELIEVE this will work and CURE.

I have truly missed the older kiddo's around the house the past 2 days. I feel lost. Its really busy when having 4 kids and just me here while mikes in the fields. But I have to say,they keep me positive. And I love hearing school story's of what happened. Or the art work they did. Just the little bragging for how good they did. It really makes me look at the little things in life and smile. I always have praised them for any work they have done. And if it wasn't a good grade,we talk about what they could of did to get it right. We fix the mistake at home to help them learn and I always tell them "we know our mistakes now and that's all we can do now and try our best once again next time huh?". John brought a picture home of his family he had to draw. He had Dad, Mom, Cady, Brooke, and himself. He told me he was kinda ashamed he did put me and chase down. I was kinda hurting at first and thought maybe he wasn't accepting of the "new family members". But I stepped back and thought, its still probably hard for him to come to terms with everything. I know he loves us. And he has never showed any real signs of rebelling towards,Me or Chase. He will flat out tell anyone he likes not being the littlest brother anymore. Or will tell me he don't want mommy mad that he loves me because I do everything that a mommy should do for him. But just that picture showed that a child still after 3 years wishes that mommy and daddy was still together. And that subject is a very touchy subject to try to talk about.

The weather is getting to my favorite time. Fall is like the best season. I love colorful tree's. And now that chase can enjoy the park,its a great time to go to parks and play. I think that's what we might do tomorrow. Get the stroller out and all of us will go to the park close to home.

Short...but to the point. Of nothing.

2012-09-06T21:54:00.001-07:00

Had a up lifting day. Not a spare minute to waste but up beat day. Chase really surprised me today and was himself today. Wasn't fussy at all I was expecting melt downs and crying all day. He would get a little mad because he had to figure out how to do some things again.

We got a pretty good routine going around here. And kids know what to expect. We work pretty good has a family. Mike worked a little bit late which kept my day going a little late to being I had some shopping that needed done once he got home.

I am trying to figure out something to do with a one year old that would be fun for him. Mike will be in the fields this weekend.And the older kiddos will be at there moms. So me and chase will be having some mommy and son time. He needs a little highlight of his week just not appointments. I would hate to see what a depressed one year old would be. :)