Gotta Give 'Em Hope

Update on Tuvia Perlman

2017-09-23T19:45:00.003-04:00

On Tuesday, I published a Facebook post about a man named Tuvia Perlman, who worked as a teacher and a choir director in Milwaukee after moving there from Baltimore. Mr. Perlman admitted to molesting multiple minors; he made this admission in a room full of people that included myself, this was in 2007. Mr. Perlman made these admissions to multiple people on multiple occasions.

It was just 4 days prior to writing and publishing said post that I found out he had relocated to Milwaukee from Baltimore a few years ago and had been working with children in Milwaukee both as a teacher, choir director, and private tutor up until this past summer.

What I said in that post and what I will say again here, is that it isn't something like god (or whatever higher power you'd like to refer to), that enables such a dangerous situation to happen. It's the silence of community leaders like Rabbi Bentzion Twerski who was warned by someone in Baltimore that Mr. Perlman posed a danger to children and yet Rabbi Twerski took no tangible action to prevent Perlman from having access to children despite claiming to have taken some action.

I've learned since Tuesday among other things that Rabbi Twerski is treated like an infallible person who can do no wrong in the eyes of many of his community members, but I also learned that there are many other members of his community that are very frustrated with his leadership on the issue of child sexual abuse. To his supporters and to Rabbi Twerski, I want you to be aware that I have a recording of my conversation with Rabbi Twerski that I intend to release to the public in due course. In this recording, Rabbi Twerski can be heard acknowledging that he was warned that Perlman posed some kind of danger to children and then proceded to claim that "precautions" were taken to prevent Perlman from having access to children. Rabbi Twerki's own words, as well as the sad reality that Tuvia Perlman had access to children for years under his watchful eye, tell a different story than what Rabbi Twerski is claiming now.

About 24 hours after publishing my initial post, Facebook decided to remove my post and to block me from posting or interacting with anyone for a full day as punishment for supposedly violating their community standards with my post. It is still very unclear to me what those community standards are that I violated because of other than one notification, Facebook has not contacted me regarding that post or explained why it chose to remove a post that was a warning of imminent danger facing Jewish children in Milwaukee.

I hope that in time this will be cleared up but for now, I am sharing a link to my blog where I also published Tuesday's post. I don't use that blog often but I do when necessary. I will not be silenced from spreading the truth and from potentially saving kids from a seasoned predator. I dare Facebook to ban me for trying to protect children. As I've said in that post as well, I have proof for every single one of my claims and that proof has only been bolstered and corroborated by others since being published.

MILWAUKEE JEWISH COMMUNITY SAFETY ALERT!

2017-09-19T12:22:00.001-04:00

I am publishing this letter today to notify the public of an individual named Tuvia Perlman and the immediate threat he poses to the safety of any and all children in his vicinity.

I first met Mr. Perlman when I was 18 while attending an organization called JONAH (a Jewish conversion therapy organization that was shut down in 2015 after losing a lawsuit). When I met Mr. Perlman, we were on a retreat together called Journey Into Manhood, this retreat was facilitated by an organization called People Can Change. After this retreat, Mr. Perlman, who lived in Baltimore used to call me often, to the point where even at that time I felt extremely uncomfortable by his calls and long voicemails.

Mr. Perlman as far as I knew at that time, had recently stopped being a teacher at a cheder (Hebrew word for elementary school). In a group setting that was facilitated on by JONAH on their premises in 2007, Mr. Perlman admitted to the entire group that he molested at least 2 of his 12/13-year-old students.

At the time, I blocked this out for multiple reasons. I myself am a survivor of sexual abuse and to be in the same room as someone who was admitting to committing the very same thing that I was trying to heal from, was horrific to the point where I literally blocked this out of my mind.

However, I’ve never forgotten Mr. Perlman and what happened during that group session. In 2014, while I was in the middle of a lawsuit against JONAH, one of JONAH’s main witnesses confirmed my claim about this incident. JONAH’s very own witness admitted under oath that he also remembered Mr. Perlman’s admission of molesting children. To be clear, as of now, there are two people who were in that room who heard Mr. Perlman’s admission and who are ready to publicly declare so. I am one of those people, the other was the witness in question who in recent days has agreed to confirm this information so as to protect the safety of children.

This note is being published today because on Friday morning I was informed by Meyer Seewald, founder and director of Jewish Community Watch (JCW), that Mr. Perlman had relocated to Milwaukee at some point in the last few years and that he might be running a boys choir. I immediately started reaching out to people in Milwaukee and was able to confirm that not only had Mr. Perlman been the assistant director of a boys choir, he also occasionally taught at the Milwaukee Yeshiva called Yeshiva Elementary school, Mr. Perlman’s son is a full-time teacher there as well. In the course of investigating this, the principal of this Yeshiva, Rabbi Dovid Kossowsky contacted me on Sunday to let me know that “Rabbi [Tuvia] Perlman does not teach here and will likely not teach here anytime in the future.”

When Mr. Perlman made his first shocking disclosure in that group session at JONAH he mentioned that he quit his job as a teacher because he recognized the fact that he was a danger to his students. I think that part of me hoped that he stuck to that train of thought and stayed away from children but sadly I was proven wrong. I was naive and hoping that whatever good I thought Mr. Perlman had inside his heart would prevail. That turned out not to be true and I regret not making this public statement sooner.

Tuvia Perlman from behind, teaching children. Photo courtesy of Ruach website.

The question of responsibility is an important one here: how can it be that people like the directors of JONAH knew that Mr. Perlman was a child molester and chose not to report that? How could JONAH put survivors like myself and abusers like Mr. Perlman in the same room and support groups? Through the legal proceedings with JONAH it became very clear that the staff at JONAH were either purposefully not informed on issues of childhood sexual abuse or they just didn’t care. Arthur Goldberg, who founded and directed JONAH said under oath that he didn’t believe he had a moral obligation to report suspected pedophiles to the authorities. But, I am under no illusion that JONAH was a dangerous and reckless organization, so when Mr. Goldberg made that statement in his deposition I wasn’t exactly surprised.

What troubles me though is what my understanding of what’s taking place within the Milwaukee community right now. My first call was to the director of the boys choir the Mr. Perlman directed in 2015, this individual was extremely helpful and provided me with a list of people I should contact regarding this matter. Two of those people included Rabbi Doniel Meister and Rabbi Bentzion Twerski of Milwaukee. The choir director made me aware of the fact that Mr. Perlman had worked for Mr. Meisels who runs a kiruv organization.

My conversation with Rabbi Meister was extremely frustrating and painful. It was abundantly clear from our conversation that Rabbi Meister was woefully uninformed about the issues of sexual abuse and was intent on trying to protect Mr. Perlman. Rabbi Meister implored me to speak to members of the Twerski family who could “handle” this appropriately, and I called Bentzion Twerski.

But it was my conversation with Rabbi Twerski that was most shocking. Rabbi Twerski admitted to me that when Mr. Perlman moved to Milwaukee a few years ago, they received some kind of warning about Mr. Perlman and that he was a potential danger to children. Rabbi Twerski insisted that because of that warning, they made sure Mr. Perlman did not have access to children. I asked Rabbi Twerski how he could make that claim given that we know Mr. Perlman was teaching children at the local school as well as managing a choir, and Rabbi Twerski’s response to me was that now that they have more concrete information they will have to take more serious steps to prevent Mr. Perlman from having access to children.

Rabbi Twerski could not seem to explain the inconsistency in his contention that Mr. Perlman wasn’t given access to children when in fact, he was.

My goal in publishing this today is first and foremost to notify the public at large that Mr. Perlman is a dangerous man who should not have any access to children under any circumstances.

I also would like to note that if in fact, Mr. Perlman did hurt any children during the time he spent in Milwaukee while community leaders were aware that he was dangerous, they are responsible for those victims.

I believe that anyone, especially mental health professionals who ever supported JONAH, especially publicly, (I’m looking at you Norman Goldwasser), are guilty too. It is clear public record that Bentzion Twerski and Norman Goldwasser supported JONAH (torahdec.org). Both Twerski and Goldwasser spoke at JCW events and were promoted by JCW. While JCW no longer has any dealings with Doctor Goldwasser, they have not made any public statements about him and the fact that they no longer endorse him or send patients to him. So long as they don’t do that, they continue to at least create an illusion that they support or endorse Doctor Goldwasser. In terms of their other speaker, Rabbi Twerski, what happens from here remains to be seen but I do believe that any organization dedicated to protecting victims of abuse must maintain as much distance as possible from anyone who is even perceived to have enabled abuse which in this case, it seems as if Bentzion Twerski had information that could have potentially protected children but chose not to act on that information.

I know that there are some who wanted me to hold off on publishing this so that they can investigate who covered for Mr. Perlman in Baltimore and while I think those efforts are important, I don’t believe I can wait even one more day to notify the public about this dangerous man. As Rosh Hashanah nears, if Mr. Perlman goes to your synagogue or is around your children, please remember this statement when you think of the safety and well-being of your children.

I currently do not have a photo of Mr. Perlman but if anyone reading this happens to have one or find one, please send it to me so that I can include it in this note.

Finally, to the victims of Mr. Perlman, I am so sorry that I did not make this statement sooner. If you haven’t yet, please consider coming forward and filing a police report. If you need support or more of the actual evidence cited in this note, do not hesitate to reach out to me directly. By coming forward you will begin the very long but important process of confronting a severe injustice committed against you and many others by Mr. Perlman and the people who protected him.

Let it be clear that I have evidence for every claim in this statement.

For questions or comments please don’t hesitate to reach out to me directly either on Facebook or via email: chaim89@gmail.com

Please share widely to make sure that children are protected from this man!

Update as of 10:14pm:

the principal of the school that employed Mr. Perlman sent out an email to parents concerning this post:

"Dear Parents,

We have become aware of allegations made against a former part-time
employee of Yeshiva Elementary School during his employment at an
out-of-town organization. This is the first time YES has been made
aware of this and we are unaware of any allegations pertaining to this
person's employment / activities at our institution.

Our children's safety is our top priority. Please remember that the
laws of Lashon Hara and Rechilus (slander and gossip) apply to this
situation, and therefore, if you have concerns you would like to
discuss, please contact me directly at dkossowsky@gmail.com to arrange
a time to speak.

Sincerely,

Dovid Kossowsky"

2015

2016-01-01T11:46:00.001-05:00

Dear readers,

I know that it's been a long time since I've written something new on this blog. Most of my writing has turned into Facebook posts that have appear on my Facebook page but they're not as concentrated as these blog posts were and that's definitely something that I miss about blogging.

I'm currently focusing on being back in college and working full time. At the same time though, I've been very actively working on a support group for people from the Chabad community who are LGBTQ. This group is a private group on Facebook that has 71 members in just one week. I've also created a fan page that people can like in order to show support for their fellow Chabad friends and family who are LGBTQ.

This past year I've been fortunate to see the downfall of a terrible organization named JONAH. It was an honor to be part of this effort but it was a grueling process that almost costed me my sanity. You can read more about the case in this amazing article published by Newsweek just a few weeks ago. If you google JONAH and or conversion therapy you can find more details about the case too. You are also welcome to read the trial transcripts here. I am hopeful that by educating the world about programs like the one JONAH ran, others will never have to go through what so many of us were subjected to because of our sexual orientation.

I am hopeful that 2016 will be even better than this past year and I look forward to celebrating many more accomplishments with you all.

Thank you,

Chaim Levin

When it's Someone you Know: Levi Moscowitz

2015-01-05T15:52:00.001-05:00

I’ve been torn inside and out ever since I found out that someone who I otherwise knew to be a good friendly guy, someone that I shared good memories in yeshiva with, pleaded no contest to one of the most heinous crimes that has ever come across the arsenal of cases that I’m personally familiar with.

Levi Moscowitz committed suicide on Saturday in Griffith park in Los Angeles. This came just weeks after the charges against him as well as a very damning police report became public. Despite having known Levi for over 10 years and once considering him a close friend, I knew that sharing this information with the public was crucial to the safety of any and all children that he may have come into contact with. At the same time though, his death brings about some very unfortunate realities and issues that have yet to be addressed when confronting this cancer of sexual abuse.

While there are many who have expressed no remorse over his death, and others who even seemed to rejoice in it, I don’t think these people realize how Levi’s death is a loss for everyone. Most of us want to see an end or at least some respite for the millions of people who are suffering from having been victims of sexual abuse, and there are also many of us who know that we have to face the perpetrator and the issues they face as well. For every comment out there directed at Levi posthumously, comments that while they were directed at Levi himself, were also aimed at other pedophiles and potential pedophiles, an opportunity to learn from these people and how to help them, and maybe even prevent them, drifts farther and farther away.

As Jewish Community Watch correctly pointed out many times, there are many individuals who struggle with the inclination to hurt children but choose not to. And then there are the ones who do but spend the rest of their lives trying to make up for it. And of course, there are the ones who who don’t ever realize or accept their wrongdoings and choose not to take responsibility for them, or even worse, brag about their crimes. Levi fell into the last category. In the aforementioned police report Levi is said to have bragged about what he had done to other innocent victims. Indeed, anyone who read that police report was able to deduce the unfortunate reality that Levi Moscowitz was a very very sick person.

The thing is, while he was sick and had been on this downward spiraling path for quite some time already (18 months ago I expressed concern to a few mutual friends about the things he was doing in LA), there are many of us who didn’t know him as this dark tormented dangerous predator. We simply knew him as someone who was a friend, a brother, a son, a classmate. The hardest part for all of us was accepting that this person we knew and loved had these demons and was capable of such horrible things. None of us dug our heads in the sand and pretended these things weren’t true, but we also didn’t make it our mission to let him know that he was a sick person not worthy of living in this world. No, we wanted him to know that while we judged him for his crimes, he was still the Levi we once knew and we still hoped there was a chance that he would change his path and attempt to make amends for his crimes and maybe even help us learn from others like him in order to prevent and be more aware of the warning signs with such people in the future.

I don’t know exactly why I decided to write this honestly. It was just last week that I told multiple people that I was afraid of this very thing happening. It was clear that Levi was moving downhill fast and that there was nothing any of us could’ve done about it, but it’s still heartbreaking nonetheless.

I respectfully ask that those who didn’t know him personally remember that he was someone’s child, friend, brother. Those people are and have the full right to grieve for him. By telling those people that their friend is better off dead you aren’t contributing to this epidemic and are only adding to those peoples’ pain. While some might think that it’s ideal for all pedophiles to kill themselves, nothing could be further from the truth. If we don’t give these people a chance to do right by their crimes or to seek help before they commit them, how can we expect them to come to us and ask for help? After all, we KNOW that there are others who haven’t committed any crimes and want help.

In conclusion I’d like to wish my deepest condolences to his family and friends who knew him. Many of us started mourning him a long time ago but as long as he was still alive there was always the chance that maybe one day he would try and do right by his past and use it to make the world a safer place. In death, he will never be able to do that because death is the only thing that’s ever final. Please remember that while we categorically condemn his actions, there are other Levi’s out there who deserve the chance to not only try and atone for their crimes, but also the ones who never committed a crime against a child and want to do everything they can in order to avoid doing so.

Re: We Are Under attack by the LGBTPed Community

2014-01-15T23:13:00.001-05:00

On the average Wednesday I tend to ignore Yeshiva World News but today Rabbi Yair Hoffman's cry about religious freedom being under attack because telling underage minors that they can be cured from being gay is becoming more and more frowned upon (for good reason).

Let's just cut to the chase on this one:

-Religious freedom doesn't give you the right to promote unlicensed self proclaimed professionals to tell kids who are already confused that their sexuality is their fault and is something that can be cured.

-Religious freedom doesn't mean that you can send your kids to anyone you want for treatment, especially if this treatment is known to cause serious harm to many (myself included).

-Forcing children into conversion therapy against their will is NOT a parent's right, and any parent who tries to do this to their children should be prosecuted for child abuse.

I wonder if Rabbi Hoffman is concerned about the countless underage LGBT kids that are kicked out of their homes, yeshivas and communities because of their orientation.

I also wonder if Rabbi Hoffman is concerned about the methods that these so called professionals use, including but not limited to blaming their parents for their orientation, and most notably being coerced to strip naked in a locked room with an unlicensed "professional".

Stop using religious freedom as an excuse to justify abuse. If a cancer patient (a REAL illness) who is a minor is forced by his parents to see a self proclaimed professional and not a real doctor to deal with his illness and then they die, thees parents would be easily liable for his death. In this case, there is no real illness other than the potential long term very harmful effects of such so called therapies.

It would be in Hoffman's best interest to focus on real problems facing religious communities if that's what he really cares about.

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/editorial/210374/op-ed-we-are-under-attack-by-the-lgbtped-community.html

Ps. It's LGBTQIA (if you cared) - the added PED is not only not funny but also indicative of how quickly people seemed to forget that the nazis came for the Jews and for gay people too.

Unabashedly Public

2013-08-11T17:04:00.001-04:00

Over the last three years, as I’ve written and spoken about some very personal experiences in my life, I’ve received much praise for my bravery, encouragement from others who were motivated to share their stories and come forward, and my voice has never felt louder or more powerful than ever. When I was younger, I used to have nightmares in which I was attempting to scream at the top of my lungs, I was trying to scream about the pain I was feeling, the injustices that I suffered, and the way they were ignored. Today, I no longer have that dream anymore.

Ever since I found my voice and started writing publicly, there hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where I looked back and regretted my decision. Whether it was talking about being sexually abused for 4 years during my childhood, undergoing so called conversion therapy to try and become straight or shedding light on other people’s plights and raising awareness through them, it’s always been more rewarding than regretful. Some people have chosen to judge me and label me as a “professional victim,” but as far as I’m concerned if that’s what it takes to get said people to talk about these issues that otherwise go ignored, I’m happy to be a professional victim.

I have many detractors out there, some of whom I know but most of whom I don’t know. It pleases me to know that I’ve earned detractors because that means I was part of the important process that forces people to confront issues that they wouldn’t have otherwise known about because they elected to ignore them. Whether it was about the student in Chicago who was put on notice and threatened with expulsion for going public about her past as a rape survivor; the guy who grew up orthodox and got married even though he was gay; the lack of education in many ultra orthodox communities; and many others, I’m proud that I was able to contribute at least one bit in lending a voice to the voiceless.

I don’t represent any group of people, I am an individual who made a decision to share parts of my personal life with the rest of the world in the hopes that someone would benefit through them. I am so thankful to all my supporters and to all the people who constantly encourage me to write more, the ones who believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself, and I truly do hope that there will come a time where no one ever feels like they’re screaming on the top of their lungs but can’t be heard.

Lots of love.

Chaim Levin

Allegations Against Employee at JEM Center In Los Angeles Spark Uproar

2013-08-06T18:18:00.002-04:00

8/6/13

Los Angeles, CA -- An event was held last night by Jewish parents in Beverly Hills who were concerned about the claims of abuse leveled against counselor/director of JEM center Mendel Tevel. The event was hosted in the home of Esther Abehsera and was organized by Meyer Seewald, director of Jewish Community Watch. In attendance were Deputy District Attorney Rabbi Benny Forer, and one of Tevel’s numerous alleged victims that agreed to talk to the crowd without using his name. About 50 people attended the event that was announced just four hours before it was scheduled to take place. The victim agreed to talk on the condition that people would leave phones and recording devices at the door, with the hope that by telling his story to a large group of people, the charges against Tevel would be taken more seriously because someone agreed to speak in front of a real live audience.

The alleged victim now 23, told the crowd that he was 14 when the abuse occurred. With his wife by his side, he recounted how when he was 14 years old he attended “Shterns” Yeshiva in Upstate New York.“When I was 14, I was in Yeshiva. We called it Shterns. Mendel Tevel was my Mashpia (mentor) and teacher. It started out when it became a big thing in school to work out, lift weights. Tevel offered to be my personal trainer, and he would push me to work harder and harder, and one time he in order to make me work harder he would whip me with a metal. hanger. And from then on, If i stopped working out I’d get whacked in the back with a metal hanger. I had marks, I bled, and I had cuts.” He further alleged that the abuse escalated “After a few days of working out with him, he started offering me messages to relax my muscles so that I wouldn’t be sore that day. After a few times he got into bed with me and sat on top of me to give me a message. I hate to be a little bit vulgar but while he was giving me the massage he was “dry humping me.” "From there it progressed where every day he tried to get me to go to the mikva before Shachris (prayer service). He offered to go with me personally because I didn’t like to be part of the large crowd that go together. One day it was really cold and it was so cold that there was a layer of ice over the Mikvah and I didn’t want to go in. Tevel came up behind me and started smacking me on my behind, and I realized that Tevel had an erection.” It was in that moment that the victim says he realized that something was “not quite right” with their connection and maintains that he distanced himself from Tevel from that point on.

Last week, on a Facebook group called LA Mommies, a member of the group posted her concern about the allegations in Tevel's past and his involvement with JEM center. In her post (which has since been deleted), she alleged that she was contacted by a concerned parent who had heard that Tevel was working at JEM high school. The thread quickly escalated, and one parent, a mother of three wanted to make sure other parents knew about the allegations against Tevel.

This mother said that she was “deeply concerned,” when she saw a Facebook post by Devorah Wagshul, sister in law of Mendel Tevel about JEM with the caption “Ran by the best directors, Aka Bracha and Mende[l]”, attached was a recent Facebook post by JEM Hebrew High. Upon further investigation, this flyer was found on JEM’s website, the phone number lists Brocha Illulian as the contact person for the program. Bracha Illulian is the wife of Mendel Tevel.

After calls to JEM center, a woman who would only identify herself as Chelsea said that “We’re safe here, there’s really not an issue, everyone already knows that there’s no issue.” When asked if Tevel was still part of the staff at JEM she said that “There’s no issue, everyone’s safe, there’s nothing wrong. Nothing happened. Everyone knows this, these are false accusations... and, he didn’t do this, to anybody. They’re lying.”

JEM Center, which was founded by Rabbi Hertzel illulian in 1984, was once connected to Chabad but has since separated from the movement and operates independently.

Other attendees of the event recounted their own personal stories of being abused when they were minors. One of them, Mordy Gluckowsky alleges that he was abused by his dorm counselor at a Chabad yeshiva abroad, but when he notified the principal of his school he was expelled two days later.

According to David Smith*, he was sexually abused and assaulted by Tevel repeatedly when he was 14/15 years old. David recounts moments where Tevel “whacked him” on his rear with a leather belt; he also recalls multiple incidents of oral sex being performed on him by Tevel. David, who grew up in the Crown Heights community still has the ability to press charges against Tevel for another few months but is reluctant to do so because of what he describes as "strong family pressure and community pressure" placed upon him not to do anything to Tevel. David alleges that he was contacted by a member of the Tevel family and was offered money in exchange for his silence, David says he didn’t accept this offer but is still very reluctant to come forward.

A third alleged victim of Tevel who is past the statute of limitations recounted how Tevel would lure him the basement of his parents’ home when he was around the ages of 6 and 7 years old by offering him candy and the use of his game boy. “He would tie me up to the trampoline and would whip me on my backside with a belt, sometimes with my clothes on and sometimes with my clothes off.” This alleged victim’s testimony is very similar to that of other victims who say that aside from the sexual abuse they endured by Tevel, there was a significant amount of physical assault perpetrated against them by Tevel with leather belts in their backside area.

A letter written by members of the Jewish community has already acquired almost 75 signatures within 24 hours. The letter offers support and encouragment to victims of Tevel to come forward. The reason for writing this letter according Seewald was because “we want to show the victims how much support there already is out there, public support for them. There are so many people who are anonymously offering their support, that's not good enough anymore.” As this story continues to grow, many people in the Los Angeles communities are unsure if their children are safe at JEM center. Some mothers are alleging that Tevel sometimes goes to the Hebrew High school in Beverly Hills to put on Tefilin with younger teenagers. Other parents expressed concern about Brocha Illulian, Tevel’s wife who would frequently stand near their children’s schools and hands out flyers promoting JEM’s upcoming events.

Seewald, who attempted to alert the Illulian family before Tevel was engaged to their daughter said: “I went directly to Rabbi Hertzel Illulian when I heard that his daughter was getting engaged to Tevel. Rabbi Illulian outright dismissed the possibility that Tevel still poses a danger to children, and when I told him the graphic details given to me by one of Tevel’s victims in which the victim described Tevel performing oral sex on him, Illulian asked me if “he [the victim] enjoyed it”. A response that even for Seewald, who claims to have heard about so many similar stories, shocked him. "He tried to blame the victim by implying that because he might have enjoyed it, it was his fault."

Seewald remarked that the event "was revolutionary." "For the first time in two years a victim got up and talked to parents for the sake of protecting children even though he knew that people may find out his identity. I’ve never seen a victim empowering so many other people to talk. I hope that people learn from this that there’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. People should see that coming forward is not just something that will help the public, but it will also help victims heal from their personal trauma.” He ended off by saying that he hopes that this turn of events will set a better precedent for victims of the Chabad community in Crown Heights. "We have almost 70 signatures by now, but hardly any of them are from members of the Crown Heights community, where Tevel committed many of his alleged crimes." Seewald said that this event was a very emotional one for him, and he hopes that the Crown Heights and greater Chabad communities will follow the example set by the people who attended this event and also by the people who signed the letter of support.

*name changed per victim's request

MEDIA ADVISORY: Abuse Advocates to Protest Charges Against Heroic Whistleblower

2013-07-10T12:52:00.001-04:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

WHAT: Abuse Advocates to Protest Charges Against Heroic Whistleblower

WHERE: 350 Jay Street, Brooklyn NY 11201

WHEN: Thursday July 11th at 11am

Contact: Chaim Levin

Chaim89@gmail.com

Ph: 917-293-3674

Brooklyn, New York - July 10, 2013 - Today, members of several large abuse advocacy organizations announced that they would be joining together this Thursday to protest unfounded charges from the Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes's office against Sam Kellner, a father who reported his son's allegations and heroically encouraged others to do the same against notorious abuser Boruch Lebovitz in 2010.

Kellner stands falsely accused of having blackmailed a witness into testifying against Lebovitz but as reported in The New York Times and The Jewish Week, prosecutors recently told the trial judge that they found their key witness was unreliable despite Kellner's defense having asked the DA for a month to look into the credible allegation that the witness against Kellner was being manipulated. Furthermore despite the case being unprosecutable at this point the DA has still refused to drop the charges. Said witness has changed his story on several occasions and has been found to have been receiving money for expenses from an activist in the Orthodox Jewish community, Zalmen Ashkenazi, a Lebovitz supporter he previously claimed he did not know.

"Sam Kellner is a father who sought justice for his son," said activist Chaim Levin, the organizer of the protest. "He has been on trial for 28 months and is facing 21 years in prison. We ask Charles Hynes to think of the Biblical dictate tzedek tzedek tirdof, justice, justice, you shall pursue and ask himself: Is this justice?"

The protest will be held on 11:00 a.m. at 350 Jay Street, Brooklyn NY 11201 on July 11, 2013.

D.A. CANDIDATE KEN THOMPSON TO HYNES: FIRE PROSECUTOR AFTER PATTERN OF WRONGFUL CONVICTIONS AND SERIOUS MISCONDUCT

2013-07-09T15:27:00.000-04:00

D.A. CANDIDATE KEN THOMPSON TO HYNES: FIRE PROSECUTOR AFTER PATTERN OF WRONGFUL CONVICTIONS AND SERIOUS MISCONDUCT

Hynes' Top Aide Was Deposed In Wrongful Conviction Lawsuit; Now Another High-Profile Vecchione Prosecution Has Collapsed

Thompson: We Need Accountability For Prosecutorial Misconduct Under Hynes’ Watch

Federal Judge Blasts D.A’s ‘Underhanded’ And ‘Horrific’ Misconduct, Was “Disturbed” That Hynes Refused To Punish ADA Vecchione

BROOKLYN – As another high-profile prosecution has fallen apart under D.A. Hynes’ watch, former federal prosecutor and candidate for Brooklyn District Attorney Ken Thompson called on the D.A. to fire Michael Vecchione, the embattled prosecutor who has overseen these cases, as one step towards restoring integrity to the office. In a “dramatic reversal,” Hynes told a judge this week, in a court appearance in a case involving an Orthodox man accused of paying a child to falsely testify that he was a victim of sexual abuse, that the prosecution’s key witness was not trustworthy after evidence emerged that the witness had received money from supporters of the accused sex predator.

"With a record tarnished by wrongful convictions and unprecedented condemnation from judges, D.A. Hynes has become the nation's number one example for prosecutorial misconduct," said former federal prosecutor and D.A. candidate Ken Thompson. "There is something very disturbing about Hynes’ judgment when he promotes a prosecutor who has botched one case after the next, and whose alleged misconduct -- including the coercion of false testimony, lies in court and intimidation of witnesses -- caused a man to have been likely wrongfully imprisoned for over 15 years. Enough is enough. If Hynes has any interest in protecting the integrity of our criminal justice system, he would fire ADA Vecchione immediately. As Brooklyn D.A., I will fight to ensure that innocent New Yorkers are not locked up for crimes they didn’t commit, and that prosecutors are held accountable - not promoted - when they violate the public trust.”

In recent weeks, ADA Vecchione testified that potentially criminal conduct occurred in the D.A’s office, including the repeated unlawful forging of his signature in affidavits, in a $150 million lawsuit that reportedly unearthed "damning evidence of misconduct by prosecutors in the office of Brooklyn District Attorney Charles J. Hynes.” The D.A. himself will face questions in a deposition next month.

Now new details have emerged in a separate botched case. D.A. Hynes has been attempting to prosecute Sam Kellner, a father who accused a prominent Hasidic cantor, Baruch Lebovits, of sexually abusing his son and other children in the orthodox community. After Lebovits' conviction, Hynes then prosecuted Kellner after allegations emerged from a victim who testified against Lebovits that the witness had testified only because Kellner paid him $10,000.

Lebovits’s lawyers used the Kellner prosecution to have his conviction overturned. Now Hynes' case against Kellner, overseen by ADA Vecchione, has fallen apart as a result of evidence that the witness who had made the accusations against Kellner had accepted payments from Lebovits’s supporters. According to reports, "that money went to paying for his lawyer; his travel to and from Israel, where he is a student; his apartment; and his school fees."

In addition, according to news reports, Lebovitz's attorney Arthur Aidala "is a campaign contributor to Mr. Hynes and the vice president of Mr. Hynes’ nonprofit foundation" and "has boasted to prosecutors about his access to and influence with Mr. Hynes and Mr. Vecchione."

Jabbar Collins Case

The Kellner case is not the only recent example of D.A. Hynes allowing senior prosecutors engaging in misconduct.

A separate civil lawsuit against Hynes was filed by Jabbar Collins, who served 16 years in prison for a murder he likely did not commit and was released after providing evidence that ADA Vecchione coerced false testimony to secure his conviction. Despite extraordinary criticism from a federal judge, who called ADA Vecchione's conduct "horrific" and said that he was "disturbed" and "puzzled" that the D.A. did not punish him, Hynes not only praised his top aide, but had promoted him to chief of the office's Rackets bureau. He now stars along with Hynes in a CBS reality television show.

According to reports, in the Collins case:

A key witness that initially claimed that he had seen Collins running from the scene had admitted under oath that ADA Vecchione threatened to hit him with a coffee table and make him stay in jail unless he testified.
A second witness had recanted his claim that he was present when Collins allegedly plotted the murder, but ADA Vecchione never turned that information over to Collins' defense lawyer.
ADA Vecchione also threatened to keep that second witness in jail unless he testified against Collins.
A third witness claimed ADA Vecchione cut him a deal in which he would testify against Collins in exchange for clearing a probation violation. This, too, was withheld from Collins' defense lawyer.
Following the release of Jabbar Collins, Hynes issued a press release addressing the reversal of the conviction. In that press release, Hynes announced that Vecchione would not be investigated or punished because, in Hynes' opinion, he had done nothing wrong.

Just weeks ago in the same lawsuit, a former investigator revealed in a sworn deposition that, under the guidance of D.A. Hynes, law enforcement officials from the Brooklyn District Attorney's Office held witnesses in hotel rooms against their will and without judicial intervention. The filing also revealed that prosecutors used forged, falsely "sworn" applications to obtain warrants to then arrest and detain individuals who were merely prospective witnesses.

These practices could potentially constitute a violation of a wide range of criminal statutes, including forgery, filing of a false instrument, fraud by a notary, as well as the aiding and abetting of these crimes. In addition, these practices may have run afoul of the Constitution's Fourth Amendment, which prohibits arrest warrants without probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation.

He Was Adam

2013-07-03T17:10:00.001-04:00

Dear Friends,

In light of the recent historical rulings in the supreme court on gay rights issues, conversations about gay marriage have been taking place all across the blogosphere but most interestingly lots of these debates have been among orthodox Jews. I’ve chosen to remain relatively silent, despite some of the most outrageous comments I’ve seen written by self-proclaimed orthodox Jews against gay people through name calling, illogical arguments and irrational reasons to be heartless and bigoted. The bottom line is that progress is marching on, our rights are finally being acknowledged despite the opposition. Yet at the same time, I believe that this is a great opportunity to engage some of these people and at best hopefully give them a glimpse into the struggle of minorities like LGBT people and in that token, hopefully hold impact in order to create tangible change and make life better for the next generation of our brothers and sisters.

I give you this incredible story about a boy named Adam, who struggled with his identity, much like myself. This story is completely fictional but the characters in it represent the real life struggles that many LGBT Jewish people, specifically formerly orthodox people face on a daily basis.

-Chaim Levin

He was Adam.

By Mimi Minsky

It is night outside, and a few of the Shabbat candles are still burning when Adam disappears through the exit door off the side of the kitchen. His parents and siblings are sleeping soundly upstairs and the dishes have nearly dried, resting on an old dish towel on the black marble countertop. While Adam first joined his family for the customary Friday night Shabbat dinner; donned in a starched white buttoned down shirt and his old black slacks, it is the second part of his night where the real Adam comes alive.

The music blares loudly, sending waves of vibrations through his body and he has to shout above the bass to catch the attention of the group of friends he has come to meet. He calls them friends, but only for the sole commonality they share; they all want to forget. It sounds and looks like a club, but really it is in an old Brooklyn apartment where Adam and his group gather together each Friday night after joining their own families for Shabbat dinner. One girl, Hanna, passes him a joint across the glass coffee table. At first Adam felt guilty coming to these parties, on Shabbat no less, but lately the feelings had seemed to dissipate, dissolving into a pungent cloud of smoke. Like Adam, after taking a couple of hits from his joint, that guilt is gone.

Adam and his friends are not alone. In fact, there are many groups similar to his own. Young teens and 20-somethings, part of ultra orthodox Jewish communities who maintain the appropriate garb while inside of their homes, and later, literally stripping themselves of their religion when in the outside world. Yet, their religion is all they know. Since birth they were taught the Halachot (Jewish laws) of the Torah: “Thou shalt not steal, do not use G-D's name in vain…Keep the Sabbath.” Nevertheless, over time, and by route of their own experiences, they have reached an undiscovered clearing. On their own, they began to form new opinions and ideas that were no longer merely black or white. Because the truth was, Adam and his friends no longer identified with the identity that has been chosen for them since birth. They now wanted to choose for themselves.

And so, Adam is on the edge. Standing firmly, he knows the ground beneath him is safe, if familiar somehow. He struggles with the fear of the unknown; of having to choose for himself. He stands by the edge, and looking down he hears the words over and over again in his mind. To jump or not to jump, that is the ultimate question Adam asks himself daily. One foot planted on solid ground and the other, a kind of suicide in his step. On this Friday night, he is one step closer to making that jump.

Here is Adam's Story:

Adam is not merely a boy wrestling with his orthodox roots and the life he’s trying to create for himself which defy his upbringing, and he isn’t just a boy who likes to smoke pot. With these secrets, Adam is harboring another secret. You see, Adam is gay. Adam wasn't always gay. At least that was what he had been told. The rabbis, they told him, "Adam, this is a phase." And then further, "G-d has no room in his world for homosexuals." So Adam had tried. He had really tried to get better. Better, because he felt sick all the time. At school, he wanted desperately to be at home, and when he was home, he wanted to be at school. There was no place for someone like him. His family didn't know him, his friends from school turned away when he glanced in their direction, and his own father; his childhood hero, no longer understood who he was. A son who no longer seemed like his son at all; Adam was a stranger in his own home. In fact, he had become a stranger to everyone around him; a quiet mystery. So quiet, he was fading into obscurity.

So Adam read. He wrote in his journal. But mostly, he stayed in his room. On weekends, his mother would urge him to spend time with friends. "Maybe go meet some of those friends of yours, Adam." She'd smile, all the while trying desperately to mask her anxiety, the worry surfacing from behind her nervous eyes.

In Yeshivah (religious school), Adam had learned about Baalei Teshuvot. They were special, he had been told growing up. These were people that had lost G-d somewhere along the way only to come back to Him, stronger and more subservient. Adam felt like that, like he had lost G-d. The only difference was that Adam wasn't hoping to find Him again.

After high school, he had fought to attend college. His father had petitioned, arguing with Adam that the classes were coed, "mixed", and therefore unsuitable for a religious boy like him. It was a school that focused on arts and Adam thought that maybe he would finally feel like himself again. He could write like he used to and perhaps, he would even write a book.

But then, there was Sam. He was the mirror Adam could no longer escape.

They took art history together and Sam hadn't tried to hide his interest in Adam. Electricity ran like a current between them when they first shook hands. Sam was everything. Adam became his everything.

Spring, right after Passover, Sam broke up with Adam. Adam’s secrecy and staunch refusal to tell his parents about who he really was, ultimately tore them apart. Sam had met someone while Adam had been away through the holiday. Perhaps, he thought, if Sam and he were broken up, he could pretend that it had all never really happened. Though he knew this wasn’t possible, he resented Sam for introducing him to his family. He had met Sam's family many times. They knew what Adam had meant to him. He had promised him and them that one day he too, would tell his own parents everything and that they would love Sam like he loved Sam. But he was too driven by fear and couldn’t tell them in time, and He never got the chance. He would never have that chance now.

Sam had parents who had loved him. Would there ever be hope for Adam?

Adam had questions without any answers. He wanted someone to tell him who to be, what to be and how to be it.

Who was he anyway, he often mused. He didn't really know. Sometimes he felt like he had imagined Sam. A character he had conjured up in his mind. But then he'd look at the mark on the outside of his palm, a scar he had gotten from a wine glass that had accidentally broken at dinner and he’d know the truth. "It's not a scar, Sam had corrected him; it's a memory."

Adam was gay. He was gay and he was tired of pretending to hate himself. He grew tired of the torrent of lies, spilling from his lips. But mostly, he was tired of living without being able to live at all.

His father had shoved him angrily against his bedroom door. His rabbis; they had told him.

“You are a Faygale (Yiddish for faggot)” he had spit, the words like venom seeping into Adam’s soul. “ You are not a real man. Music and Art is frivolity. I am a respected doctor. You are not welcome. You betrayed us. You are not my son. Get out.”

A few weeks had passed when his sister, Leora, found a carefully written note left on his bedside table.

The Note:

Know that I was a man.

I was a man until I allowed myself defeat.

I was a man even when I had been told otherwise.

I was a gay man; but I was still a man.

I was a gay man; but I wasn't ashamed.

I was a gay man and I was your son.

You did not call me yours; yet I belonged to you.

I was your Adam.

Now it's your turn, dad.

Be a man.

In a tragic twist, Adam chose to take his young life. A life, he thought, that wasn’t worth living for any longer than he had already been suffering. The note had been his hello and his goodbye.

But, Adam was still there. Standing at the edge of his bridge. Would he turn back around? Would he jump?

Adam is your neighbor, your friend, and your brother. Adam is the one who could have been saved and can still can be saved, but part of that depends on how you treat the Adam in your lives.

So, to all of you readers, talk to your Adam. Tell him that it gets better. Tell him that somewhere there is hope, because sometimes, hope is all we have.

After all, it’s like Harvey Milk once said, “I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you...And you...And you...Gotta give em hope.”

The Price of Telling the Truth - Publicly

2013-04-01T03:34:00.001-04:00

Ever since I started speaking publicly about personal things that I’ve experienced throughout my life, I’ve received many hate filled emails, facebook messages, tweets and even sometimes phone calls. The truth is though, these hateful messages from anonymous people were by no means a match against the love and support that I’ve received from many others. I’ve said this on more than one occasion and I truly believe it, “my friends are more powerful than my enemies”. The love and support that has come my way from so many people, people who weren’t afraid to use their real names, and in some cases couldn’t use their real name because of various reasons, was something that I never thought would be possible years ago when I was alone and without hope.

On the other hand, very rarely have I ever received a hateful message from someone using their real name, email address, facebook account or even twitter handle. It amazes me how easy it is for people to hide behind a computer screen and spew words of venom, words of hate, words of intolerance, but mostly, words of a coward.

While generally I refuse to give these poor excuses for human beings any sort of voice or platform within the context of my writing and activism, I think it’s extremely important to show others who are contemplating sharing their stories publicly that, while the haters are gonna hate, the fanatics will continue to be fanatics no matter what you tell them, and the trolls hiding behind fake Facebook profiles and Twitter handles will try to destroy your light, your supporters will always outnumber them. This experience is something that I know to be true for me, and I know that it’s true for many of the other people that I’ve had the privilege of working and being in the public eye with.

Lately, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by in which I haven’t come across a really hateful message or email directed at me. Since my abuser was recently arrested in Israel, these messages seemed to increase and become even more vile, yet instead of wanting to go and drop dead like many of these people wished I would, I feel even more empowered to continue fighting for the truth, for justice, and for accountability.

What makes this difficult is the way these hateful messages affect the people who I love and care about, the people who did not decide to be public about their lives, most of these people are my family members, my siblings and my parents. A few individuals have had the audacity to take shots at my parents, my siblings, my other relatives and even some of my friends by spreading lies and untrue alleged "facts" about my family. Once again I find it absolutely unbelievable how far people would go just to spread the opposite of love and hope, yet these individuals don’t have the courage to at least use their real names while spewing their intolerant and idiotic choices for words.

The price of telling the truth is not and will never be something I ever regret paying. The truth has always been the most powerful guiding force in my life; the truth is something that I believe is worth fighting for no matter what the consequences are. And the reality is, the price of telling a lie is much higher than that of telling the truth.

So let the haters hate, let the trolls spew their comments and theories about us, but remember that by standing tall and telling the truth no matter how many people don’t like it, is something that you’ll never regret, I promise you.

#Keepgivingthemhopeforever

Chasing the Devil - Sholom Eichler in Shackles

2013-03-24T00:50:00.000-04:00

Sholom Eichler was arrested on March 21st near Kfar Chabad for sexually abusing me as a child. I had already filed a civil lawsuit against him in New York and he ignored the lawsuit and fled to Israel with his family. The result of that lawsuit is still pending, I was awarded a default judgment against him and will hopefully know the amount of that judgment by this coming Monday, March 25th.

As I’ve written previously on my Facebook page and have told many people as well, the last place that Sholom Eichler molested me was when our families were visiting Israel together on a family trip while we were staying at the [then Hilton] David Citadel hotel. The details of that incident, along with many of the other incidents remain clear as day in my mind; I even remember the room number that he abused me in while we were in Jerusalem.

After ignoring the civil lawsuit against him in New York Sholom Eichler and his family fled to Israel because of the default judgment that I was granted against him. Unfortunately for Eichler, the criminal statute of limitations are much broader and severe in Israel, and so I spent the past few months researching my options before deciding to press criminal charges against him. It pains me greatly to know that there are so many sex offenders out there whose victims have the ability to bring them to justice but are too afraid to do so because of community or family pressure, or because they don’t feel strong enough. For 7 seven years I was frightened by the prospect of forcing Sholom Eichler into a courtroom or even confronting him, and it is thanks to the support of many great survivors, advocates, friends and family who showed me that it’s possible to pursue justice despite the staggering intimidation that many victims face once reporting their crime and/or going public especially when coming from more religious communities.

The Israeli justice system operates quite differently than what I was familiar with in regards to how sexual abuse cases are handled in the US. After I received confirmation on Thursday morning that Eichler was arrested, the police requested that I be on “standby” for when they would call me. I thought they would ask me to ID Eichler or something, but what came next was very unexpected. I was brought into a fairly small room with three police interrogators, one of them a translator, and was directed to sit in a seat right across from Sholom Eichler where he was sitting with shackles on his feet.

The main interrogator read Eichler his right to remain silent and warned him that anything he said would be used against him. I was still absorbing the fact that I was sitting right in front of the monster who took so much away from me, the monster that caused so much damage that no amount of therapy will ever undo, but within two minutes I was able to gain my bearings. According to legal experts in Israel, this process is called “eimut” (confrontation) and is used by interrogators to observe the body language between the victim and the accused. I was instructed to look at Eichler and tell him what he did to me, they were adamant that I describe every incident in detail and not hold back on anything. It was at that moment that I looked at the monster in the eyes and told him exactly what he did to me, where he did it and the painful and sensitive details of the times he abused me.

This “confrontation” was sort of like a court proceeding, after I gave my opening statement Eichler was given a chance to respond to what I said, and without an ounce of shame or remorse he attempted to deny everything that I claimed he had done to me. With every word he spoke, with every lie he told I felt my blood boiling to the point where I thought I was going to explode, but although he was lying, his body language was telling a very different story. He was completely unhinged and was shaking non stop, he sounded like he was on the brink of tears and his attempts to discredit what I was saying were clearly not working. One of the things I confronted him about was about a meeting that he and I had five years ago before he got married in which he apologized to me for what he had done to me. I looked at him and said “how dare you sit right in front of me and call me a liar? How do you live with yourself knowing what you did despite the fact that not only did you apologize to me but also admitted your crimes against me to my older brother and my mother as well?”. Eichler admitted to meeting me five years ago, (something he denied until now) and said “I didn’t apologize for what I did to you, I apologized for how you were feeling”.

I pressed further and recounted in vivid detail how Eichler used to wait on his parents’ porch that was just across the street of my school for when I would be walking home from school so that he can lure me inside to commit those unspeakable acts. I also recounted the times that he abused me in the synagogue that our families attended, in my parents’ house, upstate at the bungalow colony that our families both attended during the summer, and of course, one of the most brutal incidents, the last time, in that hotel in Jerusalem on the fifth floor. Eichler had the audacity to attempt and accuse my older brothers of actually abusing me; and when asked by the interrogators why I would make such claims against him he said that he was the “perfect target”. I responded to that by saying that if i was looking for a “perfect target” I would have gone after one of his older brothers which would have ensured that one of them would be sitting in American prison today because they would’ve been well within the criminal statute of limitations within the American justice system.

Those twenty minutes felt like hours and most of the exact details are quite blurred in my head at this point, but luckily it was all on the record and will surely be used to prove his guilt in criminal court. What I remember was the feeling of empowerment I felt when I looked at this evil excuse for a man in the eye and told him exactly what he had done to me and the look on his face, the expression of guilt and shame, feelings that I felt for far too long because of what he had done to me; the tables had finally turned and for the first time in thirteen years Sholom Eichler finally had to answer for his heinous crimes. After leaving that room, I felt nothing but strength and a certain of closure. As painful and emotional as that confrontation was for me, it reminded me that pursuing justice is one of the most important things that a person could do in his or her life.

Eichler was released on bail the next day, the exact amount is still unknown to me but I hope to find out soon, and it is my sincere hope that he will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I hope that others will learn by example that while at certain points the prospect of facing their abuser might seem impossible but the truth is that with the right amount of support, therapy, and healing facing one’s abuser IS possible and the power that abusers enjoy over their victims (the way Eichler had power over me) diminish over time.

Aside from knowing that it was my obligation to make sure that Eichler answer for his crimes and that I exercise every single legal option that was available to me in order to do so, I hope that by pressing criminal and civil charges against my abuser a better precedent will be set in the future for those struggling with the decision of if and how they should take action against those who stole part of their innocence, part of their soul. I know that by being so public about my past and about what was done to me is giving a voice to so many who feel like theirs was taken from them, something I once felt all the time. I’ve been publicly shamed on more than one occasion; anonymous emails and tweets from people who don’t even have the courage to use their real names remind me the importance of this journey and only empower me even more to pursue justice. Those voices of hate and negativity fade and the voices of my family, friends and every single person who supported me and encouraged me echo loudly for me and for the world to hear, to you all, I am thankful, I wouldn’t be here without you.

Hebrew Theological School Apologizes to Sexual Abuse Survivor Put on Notice

2013-03-04T08:46:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday, Kaylie* (a pseudonym) was placed on notice for misconduct at Hebrew Theological College for disclosing on Facebook that she is a survivor of sexual abuse. She had felt that she must stand against the attitude that survivors are defective. Ironically, her dean declared very coldly as result that Kaylie* thus appeared “less than human”, “besmirching” her peers and school, and ordered Kaylie’s* silence under the threat of expulsion. After an outcry against her insensitive, outrageous remarks to and action against Kaylie*, Dean Esther Shkop of Hebrew Theological College’s Torani L’Banot school offered an apology yesterday, as well as hope that things will be different in the future:

Dear Kaylie*,

Over the last number of difficult days, regret and a stirring sadness have overtaken me because of the insensitive and harsh email I recently sent you. I ask for your mechila [forgiveness] and extend you my deepest apology.

Inasmuch as [Torani L'Banot] has always endeavored to provide all of our students with full academic, emotional, and spiritual support - taking into account the variety of life experiences - it has become clear to me that we must do a better job in creating both the appropriate environment and the systems necessary to support our students in their greatest hour of need. I do maintain our position that it is not in keeping with the standards of Tznius [modesty] and fundamentally unsafe to post intimate information about oneself and others on social media. [Torani L'Banot], therefore, provides a private and safe forum for support and guidance.

We know that the Almighty places tests before us not only to draw closer to the Creator of the World, but to bolster our capabilities in improving the lives of His children, particularly those that are in great pain and in need of our help and support. We will be assembling the expertise needed to make recommendations to the Board and to me on the resources and support systems we must improve to serve our cherished students to the fullest extent of our capability.

We as Jewish educators of young adults are on the front-line of life’s many challenges. Tragically, the scourge of sexual abuse and misconduct has not spared the Orthodox community and its precious children. We, therefore, must continue to be an institution that sets the standard in helping and supporting our students as they demonstrate the bravery and fortitude required for the healing process. This is the test the Ribbono Shel O’lam [Lord of the Universe] has clearly put before me in the wake of my private email to you.

Sincerely,

Dr. Esther M. Shkop

Dr Shkop’s largely impersonal, boilerplate email may be lacking clarification of policy, unequivocal rescission of disciplinary action and, more importantly, complete disavowal of the suggestion that being sexually abused or talking about it reflects negatively on the survivor and is somehow indecency. However, it does offer a personal apology and the promise of better resources and support for students in general. Dr Shkop has recognized the damaging power of her earlier words, attitudes and actions and undertaken that she and the school will respond appropriately in the future. It takes courage to recognize wrongdoing and great conviction to avoid it in the future.

Dr Shkop’s courage and conviction here is a fitting and inspiring response to Kaylie’s* own. Despite negative comments and insults hurled her way, first by her dean, then by commentators who had read nothing more than that she dared admit that she had been sexually abused, Kaylie* has remained strong and steadfast, delivering a very important message: we cannot and will not be silent about sexual abuse or our communities’ reactions to the topic and survivors.

Kaylie* will continue to take a stand against sexual abuse and mistreatment of survivors, both on facebook and her new blog, kaylieofthewhistleblowers.blogspot.com. She is relieved that her academic career is no longer threatened. On this experience, Kaylie* reflects:

I’ve been told to keep quiet for as long as I can remember. My rapist told me not to tell. I could not, but I needed to. That night, I stood in front of my father and tried to tell him what had happened — tried to find some way to explain what went on while he and my mother weren’t home. I had no way to explain what my rapist had done. I could not put terms to the body parts, and no one ever warned me that what had happened was wrong. I only knew that my rapist had tried to manipulate me into stripping for him by telling me he would give me eight dollars and that, after he raped me, he did not pay up. I told my father that I was owed eight dollars… but I could not explain why. I was 7, and these were things that were not talked about.

That silence, that tugging feeling of anguish in my throat with no words to set it free, has stayed with me for years. I was told to not tell my parents. When I finally started speaking about any of the pain within me, I was told to not talk about it to others.

Over the years, I have made a tremendous amount of progress with my therapist. There are many organizations that can help survivors, but they can only help the ones they know about. What about the ones they do not know about? Who will help them? They can only be helped once they reached out... and they can only reach out when they know it is possible to. I came out because I had been one of the girls which were under the radar. They had no way of knowing about me. They have no way about knowing about so many. That's why I came out.

Silence is overrated. There's nothing golden about it when it's hiding the worst pain.

I was shocked because of the underlying message of the first email — that we, as survivors, are somehow the bad ones. That was the very same attitude I had taken a stand against in coming out as a survivor; it breeds silence and allows the attitude to fester from the silent anguish inside victims. This pain and the fear of being expelled from college was what drove me to contact Chaim Levin.

By bringing public attention to what was happening at school, I hoped that this attitude might be reexamined and that I would be able to remain in a school which I had come to truly love. HTC is a wonderful place — the faculty is professional while retaining a level of friendliness towards the students, and every single professor is genuinely interested in the welfare and the progress of the students, as is Dr. Shkop.

The choice Dr. Shkop made when she emailed me her beautiful apology was a wise one — she put her institution at the forefront of schools taking steps to protect and support survivors of sexual abuse. I greatly admire her strength in admitting to her mistakes, and I am very happy we were able to reach a détente. The compromises we both made were not necessarily enormous, but the ripple effect of her actions will, God willing, make an effect which is more than enormous. Pain and darkness can only be fought with a passion for the light, and that passion is something Dr. Shkop exudes in abundance. The darkness every survivor has lived in can only last so long, and, with every step forward, another bit of pain is alchemized into something truly precious — hope.

**update***

Hebrew Theological College released this statement on their website this afternoon.

Tragically and painfully, sexual abuse and misconduct is a plague in our world and our Orthodox community has not been spared. Throughout its history, Hebrew Theological College has always provided caring support and guidance for its students. We are proud of this tradition and are committed to continue to actively demonstrate the highest ideals of Torah and Chesed. Regrettably, in a recent communication with a student who enrolled in our school with a past history of being a victim of sexual abuse, we failed to exercise appropriate sensitivity. As a consequence, we regard this as a catalyst for immediate action, growth and institutional improvement.

Our Board and Executive Leadership are now in the process of identifying a cross section of experts to present recommendations to us that will enable us to develop the resources and support systems needed so that we are positioned to the fullest extent possible to help our students through the healing process.

Sexual Abuse Victim Demeaned and Put on Notice for Misconduct at Hebrew Theological College

2013-02-28T16:59:00.000-05:00

Hebrew Theological College Dean Doctor Esther Shkop demeans student survivor of sexual abuse and puts her on notice for having the audacity to talk about her experience. Kaylie's* (a pseudonym) courage is to be applauded. The college's actions are outrageous.

Kaylie*, an 18 year old College student in Chicago, had recently posted this image on her Facebook page with this caption:

“I'm a survivor of sexual abuse.

This is not a new thing. I've been a survivor as long as you've known me.

Are you going to change your opinion of me just because three evil people took advantage of me?

Are you embarrassed of me? Are you willing to share our story?

Let's see who my real friends are.”

Just a few hours ago, Kaylie* received the following email from one of the dean’s at her school with the subject line “Breaking all Boundaries”:

From: Esther Shkop <shkop@htc.edu>

Date: Thu, Feb 28, 2013 at 12:11 PM

Subject: Breaking all Boundaries

To: [REDACTED]

Cc: "olstein@htc.edu" <olstein@htc.edu>, "lipshitz@htc.edu" <lipshitz@htc.edu>

I received an anonymous phone call last night with a message from one of your "friends" on Facebook, who expressed great consternation and concern that you have chosen to publicize to "friends" (regardless of their age, sincerity and level of intimacy) your history of sexual abuse. Your public Facebook page is troubling enough, as is your Google history [which are open to the whole world]. It is troubling primarily because you have chosen to identify yourself by your pathology. You no longer appear as a full human - but rather as "case study" of a young woman warped by her childhood experiences, and is thus identified wholly by that past.

I am not asking you to deny your pain. I am asking you to exercise a measure of discretion, and develop a plan to go beyond your past towards healing. You seem too intent on wallowing in the past, and drawing sick attention to yourself for all of the wrong reasons.

At the same, you identify yourself as a student of Hebrew Theological College, and by association besmirch your peers as well as yourself.

This misuse of social media is definitely a violation of the HTC Personal Conduct Policy (see page 17 in the Student Handbook). Consequently, the HTC Administration is putting you on formal notice that all inappropriate materials should be removed from your Facebook page forthwith - both on the front page and the back pages.

If you have questions about what is and is not appropriate, feel free to come to speak to me or Mrs. Lipshitz.

Sincerely,
Esther Shkop

Esther M. Shkop, Ph.D.
Dean, Machon Torani L'Banot
Blitstein Institute of Hebrew Theological College
2606 West Touhy Avenue
Chicago, IL 60645
773-973-0241

Hebrew Theological College’s actions would reduce free speech to misconduct and Kaylie* and her courage to nothing. The school’s actions are the only misconduct, and it is utterly horrendous.

If you believe the school should rescind its notice of misconduct and issue an apology to Kyalie* and other survivors, please contact:

Chancellor, Dr. Jerold Rabbi Isenberg
isenberg@htc.edu

Dean Shkop
shkop@htc.edu

Assitant Dean, Rita Lipshitz
lipshitz@htc.edu

One Year of Hope - To Many More!

2013-02-09T14:52:00.002-05:00

This past week on February 4th I celebrated the one year anniversary of this blog. It’s been a crazy year to say the least, I have grown in many different ways and have accomplished things that three years ago never seemed possible or logical in my mind. One year of hope, one year of light, one year of putting my personal trials and tribulations of what it meant to grow up gay in the Jewish orthodox community as well as experiencing severe sexual abuse during my childhood, one year.

As I reflect on the incredible amount of feedback that I’ve gotten since I started this blog, I can only look at the future with a lot more hope than I had when I was 16, alone, confused about who I was without an ounce of hope or light for the future. As I look back at the incredible stories that so many brave people have shared with me along the way I feel nothing but inspired and even more motivated to continue this incredible and vital mission of giving others hope.

I know that I am extremely lucky to be living in this day and age where any teenager or individual struggling can turn on the internet and type in keywords such as gay, orthodox, Jewish, sexual abuse, and other hot button words that have been talked about a lot over the past year and find an arsenal of hopeful resources at their disposal; when I was 17, these resources and this amount of awareness were practically non existent.

I hope that this blog along with the many other great resources out there will continue bringing hope to those who need it most. I also believe that now is the time to stand up to the currents that are standing against us, the currents of those who choose to be intolerant of others, ignorant of the tragic damage sexual abuse causes, and the currents of those who knowingly continue to live in ignorance despite the clear and unmistakable reality that proves otherwise.

I want to end on a personal note by thanking every single person who has helped me turn this dream into a reality. So many of you have reached out to offer feedback, support, and most importantly encouragement that reminded me just how important this work really is and that it must be continued and grown so that every single person in this world will know that he or she has a chance at a bright and hopeful future.

With much gratitude and awe,

Chaim Levin

Brief Statement by Former Student of Rabbi Manis Friedman at Beis Chana

2013-01-29T16:34:00.000-05:00

Personal Note: The following article was relayed by a former student of Rabbi Friedman. My own personal thoughts and reflection will be forthcoming very soon. -Chaim Levin

Written by Sara Pruce

It is interesting to me that so many people are surprised by the words of Manis Friedman that have recently been exposed. As a person who has spent some time in his company, I am not in the least bit surprised. Upset, yes, surprised, not at all. Maybe I have been waiting for this. For him to word things a little less articulately so that his actual intentions are obvious.

I believe this man is dangerous. He is capable of sounding brilliant, while being ignorant. He is capable of making people feel understood, while belittling their experiences.

It is true, what he said, he is not a psychologist. He does not understand trauma or abuse. When I was in his company I experienced the death of a six year old boy who I had held dear. When I heard the news of his death, I was so broken inside. I cried, and the Rabbi´s reaction to my tears was to accuse me of not being a believer. If I believed in god, I would know this was meant to be. That it was something good. That is the most insensitive, ignorant reaction to a person’s emotion I can imagine.

His words on molestation are equally hurtful and ignorant. However, what I am clear on, is that this is not an isolated incident.

I worry for the people who cannot see past his articulate, diplomatic voice. It is dangerous to an insulated community to have a revered elder who is so closed to the obvious problems that exist.

I was once at a lecture on Judaism and Justice, where we were asked whether we thought being religious helped or hurt our cause. I thought it was obvious, that being religious made people more sensitive and motivated them to do good. However, one member of the group spoke up and said that sometimes, people get to a point in their religion where they think that praying for things to be alright is enough, and they stop trying to fix the problem. I believe it is imperative to look at ourselves really closely and make sure we are not in that place. There are problems that need to be fixed and we need to use religion to motivate and sensitize us, not as an excuse to do nothing.

I have deep respect for the members of the community that are beginning to come forward and talk about how much damage abuse can do. I have deep respect for the parents who are attending lectures on keeping their kids safe, who are talking to their children and who are investigating claims. I have respect for the people who are believers but do not allow that to cloud their view, do not allow that to hurt innocent people.

Out In Lubavitch

2013-01-07T12:34:00.000-05:00

Growing up and coming out in the Chabad Lubavitch community of Crown Heights

The atmosphere buzzed with energy and talk about who we are as Chassidim and disciples of the late Lubavitcher Rebbe at a farbrengen (gathering) for a former classmate's birthday a few months ago. While familiar with these affairs, I hadn’t been to one in quite awhile. As at any good farbrengen and after a few shots, I started talking about growing up Chabad and gay. Some did not deign to acknowledge the topic at all; others approached it with anxiety and trepidation. It is simply not normal to discuss such things at these get togethers — but, hey, I didn’t become an activist by remaining silent. After we started peacefully discussing different aspects of homosexuality in the Jewish community, I tried to make an important point. I observed to an individual, who had expressed homophobic leanings and tried to minimize the issues that LGBTQ people face within more orthodox communities, that, while I may very well be the only out gay person sitting at this table of 20, it is very unlikely that I am the only gay person there. He tried to refute me claiming that he knew for a fact that I was the only gay person there — the all too common, blanket, unfounded denial that feeds alienation and isolation of queer people within the Chassidic community.

But, my statement was assured; we are here, many still struggling in silence and fear, and we are not alone.

Many people from frum/Orthodox communities have contacted me seeking guidance and advice. Like me at one time, they’ve felt alone and had never spoke to an out gay person. They've thought it might just be a phase that would hopefully go away if only they met the “right girl”. Trying my best to be objective and honest, I answer their questions about what it is like living as I do with the “whole world” knowing and how people have reacted towards my being openly gay.

It hasn’t always been a picnic. Coming out especially in Chassidic communities can be detrimental to one’s self, family and overall sanity if not prepared. Sometimes I feel as if I were pushed out. I had confided in a friend while at yeshiva in Brunoy, France, at the age of 16 (yes, I really was a Brunoy boy). Soon the entire school of more than 400 found out about me. Publicly humiliated by some and ignored by most an ocean away from home, I was seen as a diseased person who did not belong. During those 8 trying months at yeshiva, some denial about the gossip and hatred helped me to survive, not to mention the support of the very few who I would dare say were real Chassidim — those who, despite the fact that they had never heard of such a thing in their lives, remained my friends and were supportive of me, genuine, accepting and inviting unconditionally.

Still I felt isolated and was unaccepting of myself until, paradoxically, I sought out reparative ‘therapy’, hoping to become straight in order to be accepted by the only community I had ever known. I had never interacted with anyone who wasn’t a fellow Lubavitcher until I was 18. Trying everything I could to assure my place in my family and community, I inadvertently ventured into the outside world, met others who were struggling and developed a somewhat different perspective. I learned there were other kinds of Chassidim and Jewish people out there — ones like me. I found myself exploring a new world. Yet, I did not fully accept who I am until I was 20. Some skeptics and critics try to convince me that by living my life honestly, I’m hurting my family and my soul. Until I was 20, I had wrenched, wrung and racked my soul, praying, pleading, begging for some miracle to turn me straight during weekly trips to the Ohel (the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s resting place). The best thing that ever happened to my soul was finding peace when I stopped fighting against, not a “desire” or “inclination” as some would describe it, but an inalienable part of me.

Even though I was able to accept myself, experience made me pessimistic about my community. Fortunately though, living in Crown Heights has gotten easier and easier by the day. Today 6 years after I was outed, I've been pleasantly surprised by people on the street, patting on the back and letting me know that they’re supportive of me and my journey. And, once dismissive, long time family friends have told me on many occasions, “Chaim, I love you and accept you as you are.” A very Lubavitch attitude indeed. This is the message Chabad tries to spread and instill around the world — that every single Jewish soul is worthy, a ray of light with something to offer. Still, I never thought I would experience this attitude usually reserved for those who drive to shul on Shabbos and but nonetheless try to return to Orthodoxy at Chabad houses around the world — certainly, not among our very own friends, family and community in Crown Heights, in “the Rebbe’s schunah” (neighborhood).

In Crown Heights, I have occasionally had the great displeasure of bumping into people like Molly Resnick, whom many consider one of the greatest, most public examples of intolerance and bigotry within the Lubavitch movement today. Nonetheless, the voices of the Molly Resnicks are being drowned out by the people, including my own family, who have grown, not just to tolerate me, but to embrace me fully for who I am.

credit for design, Maya Avisar; original picture, wikimedia

“Once a Chassid, always a Chassid” is often heard at the Chabad schools, camps and farbrengens. Still, I do not consider myself as religious as I once was. However, when I started dating someone a year and a half ago, I did take some pride in having grown up Orthodox and being able to tell him about it. He had grown up in a rural area with no Jewish upbringing or identity, but, the more I told him, the more interested he became in Judaism. A year later, he bought his first pair of tefillin in a Crown Heights Judaica store as I stood with him eagerly, despite the negative experiences I had had. Some people have facetiously identified me as the Rebbe’s shliach (emissary) to the LGBTQ community — no doubt others would argue.

Six years ago, I could have never imagined being gay Jewish voice nonetheless welcome at farbrengens. I didn’t think I’d be proud to walk the streets of Crown Heights even despite some intolerance. The negative voices are slowly dying out, and more positive and accepting voices are being heard louder and louder. Everyone should be able to live openly and honestly without pretense nor fear of losing family, friends and community. I truly hope and believe that there will come a day when anyone who is LGBTQ can be accepted as they are and know that they are not alone.

Afterword

I was delighted to be invited to write about growing up Chabad and gay for a blog devoted to issues relating to the Chassidic community, sometimes discussing more controversial issues, such as why Chabad often stirs great animosity. The blogger informed me that, while this piece “brought him to tears” and despite his sympathy for gay people, he cannot publish it because he doesn’t want to get too “political.” He explained “they believe it’s against halacha (religious law) and that’s what I mean by political,” elaborating “because gay sex is against halacha, it becomes a difficult issue to deal with.”

Of course, I did not mention any personal, private behavior considered a violation of halacha. I discussed having found after much difficulty some acceptance within the Chabad community. I discussed not hating, but loving our fellows, not oppressing the weak, and not standing idly by as another’s life is in danger. As have many others, I had struggled with suicide because I felt hated and unwanted and was oppressed; the danger is real. These are important issues that must be dealt with. I hoped to shed some light on the experience of growing up gay within Chabad and give a voice to those suffering in and because of silence. Many community leaders have ignored us and pretended that we don’t exist, and others equate our mere existence with unspeakable violation of halacha.

Ironically, the blogger had questioned whether the ending was too positive and “preachy” prior to deciding not to run it. Now, I cannot help but have some doubt myself. Still, I am proud, and I am hopeful. I am impressed with the blogger’s sympathy and consideration despite his religious convictions, but I fail to see how a story of finding some acceptance could controvert those convictions. His refusal does not actively affirm halacha, but passively disaffirms thousands of gay Jews.

And, my statement is assured; we are here, many still struggling in fear and silence.

But, we are not alone.

Rabbinical Council of America no longer endorses reparative therapy

2012-11-29T20:01:00.002-05:00

November 29, 2012

Dear Chaverim,

The following will be released to the press later today.

Rabbinical Council of America's Statement Regarding JONAH (Jews Offering New

Alternatives to Homosexuality)

In the years since the Rabbinical Council of America's first comment about JONAH (Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality), "the only Jewish based organization dedicated to assisting individuals with unwanted same sex attractions move from gay to straight" in January, 2004, in which we suggested that rabbis might refer congregants to them for reparative therapy, many concerns about JONAH and reparative therapy have been raised.

As rabbis trained in Jewish law and values, we base our religious positions regarding medical matters on the best research and advice of experts and scholars in those areas, along with concern for the religious, emotional, and physical welfare of those impacted by our decisions. Our responsibility is to apply halakhic (Jewish legal) values to those opinions.

Based on consultation with a wide range of mental health experts and therapists who informed us of the lack of scientifically rigorous studies that support the effectiveness of therapies to change sexual orientation, a review of literature written by experts and major medical and mental health organizations, and based upon reports of the negative and, at times, deleterious consequences to clients of some of the interventions endorsed by JONAH, the Rabbinical Council of America decided in 2011, as part of an overall statement on the Jewish attitude towards homosexuality, to withdraw its original letter referencing JONAH. Despite numerous attempts by the RCA to have mention of that original letter removed from the JONAH website, our calls, letters, and emails remain unanswered. As Rabbi Shmuel Goldin, president of the RCA, stated in 2011, "We want it taken down. JONAH said it was a letter of support, but if you read the letter it is not. They took an informational statement and reprinted it, and the use of that as an endorsement is an error."

We believe that properly trained mental health professionals who abide bythe values and ethics of their professions can and do make a difference in the lives of their patients and clients. The RCA believes that responsible therapists, in partnership with amenable clients, should be able to work on

whatever issues those clients voluntarily bring to their session. Allegations made against JONAH lead us to question whether JONAH meets those standards.

Rabbi Dr. Norman Lamm, Chancellor of Yeshiva University and author of the 1974 Encyclopedia Judaica Year Book article, "Judaism and the Modern Attitude to Homosexuality," the first contemporary article to address the issue from the perspective of Jewish law and philosophy, had originally commended the work of JONAH. In response to the negative reports about JONAH's activities and concerns expressed to him by respected mental health professionals, Dr. Lamm withdrew his endorsement of JONAH.

About the RCA:

The Rabbinical Council of America, with national headquarters in New York City, is a professional organization serving more than 1000 Orthodox Rabbis in the United States of America, Canada, Israel, and around the world. Membership is comprised of duly ordained Orthodox Rabbis who serve in positions of the congregational rabbinate, Jewish education, chaplaincies, and other allied fields of Jewish communal work.

For further information about this statement, you may contact:

Rabbi Shmuel Goldin

President

201-568-5860

rgoldin@ahavathtorah.org

Rabbi Mark Dratch

Executive Vice President

212-807-9000

mdratch@rabbis.org

The Rabbinical Council of America

305 Seventh Ave

New York, NY 10001

212-807-9000

www.Rabbis.org

Reparative Therapy, "It wasn't kosher" on Joy Behar Say Anything!

2012-11-29T00:03:00.001-05:00

Organization Promising Gay Cure Sued for Fraud

2012-11-27T16:26:00.001-05:00

Today a ground breaking lawsuit was filed against Jews Offering Alternatives to Homosexuality (JONAH) offering reparative or ex-gay therapy, the 'cure' for homosexuality repudiated by the America Psychaitric, Psychological and Medical Associations, but nonetheless still recommended by many Orthodox rabbis. There has already been much press. Here is an article from ABC, and several others are compiled here. More to come.

Gay Men, Moms Sue NJ Jewish Gay Conversion Therapists

Chaim Levin,now 23, alleges he received "humiliating" gay conversion therapy and was "misled" into thinking he could become straight. (Amy Sussman/AP Photo)

By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES
Nov. 27, 2012

Four gay men and two of their mothers filed a lawsuit today against a New Jersey conversion therapy group that claims to rid men of same-sex attractions and turn them straight.

The lawsuit, filed in Superior Court of New Jersey Hudson County, alleges that methods used by the Jersey City-based Jews Offering New Alternatives to Healing (JONAH) do not work and constitute fraud under the state's consumer protection laws.

Arthur Goldberg, JONAH's co-director, and Alan Downing, a "life coach" who provides therapy sessions, were also named in the suit.

The plaintiffs include Michael Ferguson, Benjamin Unger, Sheldon Bruck and Chaim Levin, all of whom used the services of JONAH when they were in their teens or young 20s.

Two of the men's mothers, Jo Bruck and Bella Levin, who paid for therapy sessions that could cost up to $10,000 a year, were also plaintiffs.

One of the plaintiffs alleges that therapy sessions that involved a virtual "strip tease" in front of an older male counselor, as well as reliving abuse and homophobia were "humiliating."

They are seeking declaratory, injunctive and an undisclosed amount of monetary relief, as well as court costs, according to the lawsuit.

The plaintiffs have received legal help from the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), which claims in the lawsuit that conversion therapy is a dangerous practice that has been "discredited or highly criticized" by every major American medical, psychiatric, psychological and professional organization.

Three of the young plaintiffs are from an ultra orthodox Jewish background; Ferguson came from a Mormon background and met Downing at a "Journey Into Manhood" retreat, according to the lawsuit.

JONAH appears to cater to orthodox Jews, but its methods "do not have a strong religious aspect," according to SPLC lawyer Sam Wolfe.

The lawsuit alleges that some of the methods used included: telling boys to beat a pillow, the "effigy of the client's mother," with a tennis racket; encouraging "cuddling" between younger clients and older male counselors; and even instructing attendees to remove their clothing and hold their penis in front of Downing.

Attendees were also subjected to ridicule as "faggots" and "homos" in mock locker room and gym class role playing, according to the lawsuit.

"It's definitely cruel and unusual and doesn't work," said Wolfe. "They are peddling bogus techniques that have no foundation in science and are basically ridiculous and even harmful."

Wolfe paraphrased JONAH's message as: "All you have to do is put in the work to overcome your sexual attractions. If you follow our program your true orientation emerges and will turn you into a straight person."

"Often if what the conversion therapist tells them doesn't work, it's their fault," Wolfe added.

In 2008, when the plaintiffs were seeking help from JONAH, the cost of an individual therapy session was $100 and for a group session, $60. JONAH also "strongly pushed" attending weekend retreats that could cost as much as $700, said Wolfe.

Arthur Goldberg said he "knows nothing about the lawsuit," which was filed this morning, and referred ABCNews.com to JONAH's website.

"We have a lot of people who were a success and were healed," he said of JONAH's 14 years in service. "Hundreds of the clients we serve are satisfied ... Our therapy is very conventional."

When asked about the group's practices, he said, "I can't tell you about the methodology." Goldberg admitted he had "no background specifically in counseling."

"I am the administrator," he said. "I used to teach family law."

When asked about instructing boys to take off their clothes, he said, "I know nothing about that."

Goldberg also said he had "no idea" how to reach Downing because he was an "independent contractor."

According to JONAH's mission statement on its website, the nonprofit group is "dedicated to educating the world-wide Jewish community about the social, cultural and emotional factors which lead to same-sex attractions."

"Through psychological and spiritual counseling, peer support, and self-empowerment, JONAH seeks to reunify families, to heal the wounds surrounding homosexuality, and to provide hope," the statement reads.

JONAH's Goldberg, who runs the business side of the nonprofit, says on the website that "change from homosexual to heterosexual is possible … homosexuality is a learned behavior which can be unlearned, and that healing is a lifelong process."

According to the lawsuit, JONAH cites the "scientific" work of Joseph Nicolosi, one of the primary proponents of conversion therapy and Richard A. Cohen, who was permanently expelled from the American Counseling Association in 2002 for "multiple ethical violations."

Nicolosi's methodology is based on the belief that a weak father-son relationship and a dominating mother contribute to homosexuality. He advocates "rough and tumble games," as well as father-son showers, according to the lawsuit.

Cohen uses a technique called "bioenergetics" that includes having male patients beat a pillow, which represents their mother, as a way of stopping same-sex attraction, according to the lawsuit.

Conversion therapists also cite child abuse and bullying as a "primary cause" of homosexuality, according to the lawsuit.

The American Psychiatric Association and the World Health Organization, among other mental health groups, have cited the potential risks of reparation therapy, including "depression, anxiety [and] self-destructive behavior," according to the lawsuit.

Chaim Levin, the most vocal of the plaintiffs, is now 23 and a gay rights advocate who writes a blog, Gotta Give 'Em Hope.

He grew up in a Jewish ultra orthodox community in Brooklyn where religious leaders threw him out of the Hebrew-speaking yeshiva at the age of 17, when they learned he was gay.

Levin told ABCNews.com that he had been abused as a boy and that he was "confused" by his sexuality and took a rabbi's advice and began 18 months of gay conversion therapy at JONAH.

[Levin filed a civil lawsuit against his cousin in July, alleging he was abused for three years from the time he was 6.]

When Levin met co-director Goldberg, he said the defendant told him JONAH could change his sexual orientation, "as long as I tried hard enough and put enough effort into it."

"He told me, 'You will marry a woman and have a straight life,'" said Levin.

"Given where I came from, with three older siblings who were married with kids and not knowing any gay people or English, I was sure I could change," he said. "That was the theology."

Levin first did a retreat with Downing, then saw him weekly at therapy sessions in Jersey City.

"A lot of the therapy involves reliving the experience," he said. Levin alleges he was forced to relive the sexual abuse by his cousin, "with no counseling afterwards."

But the most "humiliating" experience, the one that Levin alleges made him quit therapy, was being asked by Downing to take off his clothes, article by article and told to touch his "private parts" -- to hold his penis in front of a mirror to "be in touch with my masculinity."

"I told him I wasn't comfortable, but I desperately wanted to change and was ready to do anything," said Levin. Afterward, he said he felt "degraded and violated."

Today, Levin no longer identifies as orthodox, but said his parents have been "supportive" of the lawsuit.

Some Jewish denominations and many congregations are inclusive of homosexual congregants, and even New York's orthodox communities are more open-minded now, according to Levin.

"I had gone for help and they had misrepresented themselves," he said.

When I Lost Hope: Levin v. Eichler

2012-11-19T17:03:00.000-05:00

Early this past July, I filed a lawsuit against Sholom Eichler, a first cousin who sexually abused me for four years starting when I was 6. From the day the abuse began until last year, I hadn’t felt confident, strong or ready to attempt to pursue justice and hold Eichler accountable for what he did to me. I was afraid. The people I counted on to protect and help me when I was young only fed that fear, allowing it to grow. I had confided in my school principal, Rabbi Lustig of Oholei Torah, when I was 14 and the years of secret pain were too much to bear alone. Rabbi Lustig advised my parents not to create “a family fight” by confronting Eichler or his parents and strongly urged them not to say anything. Consequently, Eichler remained a welcome presence in my parents’ home for the rest of my youth, and my family celebrated his wedding despite knowing that he brutally abused and molested me for four years of my childhood — four years that I’ll never get back, four years that I live with everyday of my life.

It’s been difficult. And, forgiving my family and the caregivers who betrayed me is no easy thing. Yet, I am grateful to most of my immediate family members for their support that, although it came late, did still come.I have been lucky to have the unwavering support of my parents and siblings throughout the journey the past few years has taken me on. My parents stand proudly behind me and support me in the work that I do — the cause I believe in and live for. They accept me completely as I am; my orientation is just another inherent aspect little different from the color of my eyes or my skin tone. Everyday, I hear from people whose families reject them, sometimes even disowning them, just because they’re gay. I had truly believed and feared that my family would never come around, but I was wrong. They have arrived, and I couldn’t be more proud to call them my family, my blood. They have been there for me as I have tried to pursue justice.

Before filing a lawsuit against Eichler, I attempted to envision the different scenarios that might result, but I was not prepared for what ensued. Many people sympathized with Eichler and recast the traumatic abuse as just “two kids fooling around,” others called the lawsuit a ploy for attention, and some even had the audacity simply to feed into the denial all too commonly surrounding abuse, dismissing what had happened to me with assertion that Eichler is “family man” incapable of the horrific crimes he committed against me, my body and my mind. It had taken years for me to regain some sort of wholeness with which I could try to move forward, and the negative reactions to the lawsuit challenged that.

And, I lost hope. I had to take a step back. I had lost my way. I have spent the last few months trying to figure out my place, where I belong and what I want to do in the future. I have also done as much I can to begin to heal from the childhood trauma that I endured. I had lost the confidence that was so hard to build. I lost my drive. I was disappointed and angry with many people; it was truly horrifying for me to hear anyone try defending the likes of Eichler despite what was known. So many people were focused on “Jewish gay activist sues cousin for sexual abuse” that the story was lost. It was a headline that told them all that they thought they needed to know. It was a headline that allowed them to conclude that the abuse I experienced at the hands of Eichler must have been consensual despite his being six years older because I proudly identify as a gay man and had not told anyone while the abuse occurred. It was a headline that allowed people to continue to ignore abuse and to blame and dismiss survivors. The misguided conclusions people made about me and what had happened to me were far from reality; still, they were a source of pain.

While I don’t feel the need to defend my choice in taking actions against someone that hurt me, I do think it’s important to address some matters before other abuse survivors’ motives are questioned and they are harmed in the process. Eichler may have been a minor at the time of the abuse, but I was a child; I couldn’t consent, and I didn’t have a choice. Eichler exploited my vulnerability in feeling different and inferior, which made me a perfect target for a predator. He once told me that he had to be mean to me in public so that no one caught on to “our” secret. Eichler sexually, physically and mentally abused me. He devised elaborate strategies to isolate and intimidate me and to lure me away to commit unspeakable acts. Even after Eichler sodomized me with a pen when he became frustrated with my small, unaccommodating, fragile, eight year old anatomy, I was still too afraid to tell anyone. Like many other survivors, I was afraid and ashamed. That was why I kept it a secret for as long as I did, but when I was more able to understand what had happened I reached out for help.

My principal, family and community’s reaction are examples of what fed and continues to feed the pernicious silence that creates an environment conducive to abuse and that revictimizes survivors. I reached out again to my former principal upon retaining my lawyers, but he refused to cooperate, claiming that it was against Jewish law for him to get involved in any capacity. Rabbi Lustig knew what was at stake when he refused to cooperate less than a year ago, when abuse was no longer taboo and most rabbis called for everyone to help survivors achieve justice. Given Rabbi Lustig’s past and the history with running Oholei Torah for which he has not been held accountable, I cannot be too shocked by the way he continues to handle matters. My family, on the other hand, were there for me when I needed them this time, and it means so much to me. It’s been a long and painful road in finding some middle ground with my family. Instead of ignoring it and pretending like nothing happened as they had for too long, they were ready and willing to do whatever it took to bring justice and closure for me in any capacity necessary.

Justice and closure have been hard coming. Eichler and his family refuse to face the limelight. Neither he nor his family have publicly commented on the charges. There were those who thought he deserved his day in court; well, he got it, but he chose to not to use it. Eichler did not even file a response to the complaint against him, and a default judgment has been requested. And, it appears that his response to the default judgement against him will be immigrating to Israel.

I used to wish I could just escape from the past.Today, I think differently. Today, I want to move forward. I know that if I had missed the opportunity to pursue some justice as I decided after my 23rd birthday this past May, it would have been all the more difficult to move forward with my life, still burdened with a conflicted conscious and consuming secret. Now the secret is out, Eichler is exposed, and other children may be safer and other survivors find it easier to come forward. I am unapologetically proud of my choice to file a suit against Eichler for the damage he caused me. Now, I stand prouder and stronger, ready to move forward with my future while being mindful of the evils of the past. While they might be in my past, they continue to be a source of struggle for me and are a present reality for far too many people. The case was brought to court, but that does not mean it’s over; sadly, these battles are never over. Nonetheless, I am relieved to be in a better place in my life to do the things I hope and plan on doing; these include continuing to be an outspoken, unashamed survivor and an unapologetic critic of those who continue to feed toxic and dangerous environments in which abuse is covered up, and, most importantly, to put an end to the deafening silence that has handicapped so many of us.

Huffington Post: The Grave Truth Threatening Orthodox Communities

2012-06-15T12:40:00.000-04:00

June 14th, 2012

Chaim Levin

Jewish LGBT activist

This past sunday, a townhall meeting was held in Crown Heights to raise awareness regarding the epidemic of child sexual abuse within Orthodox communities and their problematic responses. The event hosted by Eli Federman, a long time community activist and champion of these important causes, and included incredible panelists: Rabbi Yosef Blau, a vocal advocate and supporter of survivor's rights; Irwin Zalkin, an attorney for survivors of clergy sexual abuse; Norman Siegel, a civil rights attorney; Mordechai Feinsten, a survivor and advocate; and Zvi Gluck, community activist and founder of Our Place, a safe space for survivors. Along with the panelists, the Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes spoke. He attempted to justify his legally dubious and controversial practice of keeping confidential the names of religious Jews prosecuted for these heinous crimes, adding "I created a system that keeps the names of offenders out of the public only to protect victims, and I'll be damned if I change that."

Perhaps, he should be. The Orthodox community is his most powerful voting block, and his policy protects Orthodox offenders and complies with the community's general suppression of sexual abuse, which the D.A. himself acknowledges involves more "intimidation [than] in organized crime cases". The Orthodox community, especially leaders and educators were conspicuously absentfrom this event, but, three weeks ago, they had come out en masse.

On May 20th 40,000 religious Jews gathered at Citi Field to discuss the "grave" threat the internet poses to their religious lifestyle. From the moment I found out about this event, I was dumbfounded. I simply could not understand how a rally on the "dangers" of the internet was rational, productive or even fair -- not just fair to all the real issues ignored in these religious communities, but also to the people themselves, who were blindly following their religious leaders.

Just before this event took place, leaders of the Williamsburg Satmar community held a fundraiser for a man accused of raping a young girl repeatedly over the course of years; community leaders called for everyone to come donate money to fund his defense. The leaders further claimed that such allegations in general pose a great threat to the future of their community. While the community embraced the accused abuser, it has harassed, ostracized and intimidated the survivor. While I and a few others were protesting this event, a religious woman said to us simply, "I know him [the accused]; it can't be true" -- as if she had some special method of knowing for a fact that Weberman did not commit the crimes he was accused of. Such blanket denial is something I witnessed firsthand while growing up. It was an ignorant and dangerous response from a parent, that is indicative of actual grave threat facing the children of religious communities such as Williamsburg, which would rally to raise funds for a man accused of ruining an innocent life. Four days later and three million dollars spent, 40,000 religious Jews came to Citi Field proudly and listened as their religious leaders proclaimed the evils, ills and dangers of the internet. The internet is seen as a threat to religious life; otherwise suppressed stories of abuse within religious communities are being revealed via the internet.

Trying to come to terms with being sexually abused from the ages of 6 to 10, I had kept my childhood traumas out of the public eye for as long as I could. It had been my deepest secret, my biggest shame and the most toxic driving force in my life. Coming out as a survivor seemed especially important now. Given the very clear denial of the threat that children face and leaders' attempts to suppress rather than address the problem, publicly acknowledging what I have struggled with for most of my life seemed imperative in order to shed light on the problem and provide people some hope.

Before coming forward, I was concerned with the pernicious yet persistent misconception that being molested makes people gay. Numerous studies and the American Psychiatric Association have concluded, "no specific psychosocial or family dynamic cause for homosexuality has been identified, including histories of childhood sexual abuse. Sexual abuse does not appear to be more prevalent in children who grow up to identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, than in children who identify as heterosexual." Nonetheless, when I was younger, I was mislead into harmful and dangerous "reparative" therapy, which maintains this unscientific misconception. The biggest shanda (shame), the worst part of the abuse for some in my family is that I "turned out" gay. Sadly, these people and many others fail to realize that it is far more likely that I was molested because I was gay and consequently vulnerable because I was different and felt isolated; my abuser counted on me remaining silent. And, I had suffered silently through the abuse and its long lasting effects. Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, severe anxiety, extreme difficulty concentrating, constant nightmares, those are only some of the results of being molested. My orientation is most certainly not. I am very blessed to be who I am; I am very proud of my gay identity, which is not related to the horrific trauma that I endured for four years of my childhood.

Stories of precious childhoods stolen by sexual abuse are coming out now more than ever. These stories were kept secret for years as survivors suffered silently, faulted themselves for the trauma they endured and believed that did not deserve justice. Every day, the media hands us another heart-wrenching story about an innocent child or young adult who was abused by someone more powerful and were then forced to keep quiet and intimidated into not reporting the crimes, in some cases with threats against their livelihood or their families. Many such stories are shared on the internet.

In order to denounce the internet as a danger facing the Jewish people, approximately three million dollars was spent to rally every Hasidic Jew who would listen. Child abuse was not mentioned once. Many other demonstrators and I held signs reading "the internet never molested me", "how many children can $3,000,000 save" and others that made clear our reasons and motives for protesting this event, which many of the attendees claimed was a "great kiddush HaShem" (sanctification of G-d's name). Every second standing there, I was shocked by the masses of attendees showing up, many with children and grandchildren. I could not help but feel sad and concerned for the younger innocent ones who might be harmed because their gedolim (most revered rabbis) concluded that the threat to their lives was the internet rather than the gnawingly obvious problem of child abuse that enough survivors had bravely come forward to expose. The internet has been a vital resource we survivors have used to attempt at healing ourselves and sparing others.

Rabbi Zwiebel of Agudath Israel of America (an umbrella organization for Orthodox Judaism in America) lambasted discussion of sexual abuse on the internet stating, "through the pressure [bloggers] have created, communal issues that need to be confronted were moved to the front burner and taken seriously. A case in point is abuse and molestation issues. The question is, if the fact that [bloggers have] created some degree of change is worth the cost. At the very least, it's rechilus [gossip], lashon hara [derogatory language], and bittul zman [waste of time]. That's a high price to pay." From the Agudath's standpoint, preventing molestation and sparing children are wasteful and less important than avoiding disclosing and reporting true but disparaging information about others.

This same organization has been directing followers not to report sexual abuse without the permission of a rabbi. The New York Times reported that when Rabbi Zwiebel discussed this policy with the Brooklyn District Attorney who allegedly "expressed no opposition or objection". The Brooklyn D.A. appears to have been complicit in making sure that sexual abuse in religious communities is not prosecuted. On June 20th, a protest will be held outside the Brooklyn D.A.'s office to protest "the history of colluding with Rabbinical authorities to enable the cover up of child abuse in Ultra Orthodox communities of Brooklyn, NY. As a result molesters have remained free to victimize children at will."

While religious leaders would obstruct justice and suppress exposure of sexual abuse over the internet and the DA seems unable or unwilling to fairly pursue abuse that is reported, others would divert attention from the problem by extolling the virtues of the Orthodox lifestyle. A Hasidic woman named Chaya wrote What Women's Media Needs to Know about Chassidic Women in response to the buzz surrounding the internet rally, which women weren't invited to attend. Chaya's assertion that women who keep the Jewish laws of family purity have lower rates of cervical cancer and portrayal of lives of Hasidic women as glorious and fulfilling went viral. When I posted a link to one of the many responses to the article, strangers bombarded my facebook page with comments along the lines of: Stop trying to represent us; the real Hasidic women choose our lifestyles and are happy with it. I was berated by some for not being fair in disagreeing with Chaya's belief that she wrote was actually what the media needed to know.

Chaya failed to mention that she didn't grow up within the fold of the Orthodox community. When she bragged about her college experience ("magna cum laude baby"), she did not mention that in Crown Heights where I was raised Orthodox, the idea of even going to college was a foreign one. Those of us who lived through horrors created by oppressive environments like the one Chaya attempted to glorify are still struggling with our nightmares as the people who hurt us walk around freely without any accountability and posing a danger to others because a corrupt system is more interested sparing the community the imagined shame in addressing sexual abuse than in protecting its children.

Many people ask, or rather complain, why I don't just leave the community behind and let them live their lives in peace and do as they choose. Rosa parks did not leave her seat, and she did not leave Alabama; she stayed, and that taught me a lot. While I do plan to leave Brooklyn in the near future, I simply cannot turn a blind eye to problems I am painfully aware of, and I certainly will not disconnect from the internet.

The internet has been an invaluable resource for many of us who suffered abuse, oppression and torment in our communities. When Ricky Martin discussed having feared coming out, he said, "If someone asked me today, 'Ricky, what are you afraid of?' I would answer, 'the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war...child slavery, terrorism...the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith.' But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, it fills me with strength and courage." The internet has been one thing that offered us strength, courage and hope; it allows us to know that we are not alone and, hopefully, others to be spared. The internet forced the issue of child abuse in religious communities into the public eye, and the reprehensible behavior of leaders who protect offenders is now coming to light and may be investigated further. The internet may very well spur change that will save those in religious communities, for which the only real threat is abuse and its suppression.

Marching in the Celebrate Israel Day Parade: Walking into the Lion's Den

2012-06-11T11:00:00.000-04:00

Some people looked at us in surprise or shock, and others, in horror. A few parents covered their children’s eyes as we went by. I tried to disregard the slurs and middle fingers, but one woman refused to be ignored. She accosted us after the parade, berating us that we do not belong and should be ashamed of our ourselves. But, I was proud to march and represent LGBTQ Jews in the largest event in the world transcending movements and politics and representing Jewish solidarity; and, by and large, it was a wonderful success. Still, after learning that our group of LGBTQ brothers and sisters would be allowed to march in the Celebrate Israel Parade for the first time since its inception in 1964, I had been conflicted.

On one hand, I was thrilled. The progress made within Jewish communities towards tolerance of LGBTQ people has been been remarkable, and our being allowed to participate in the Parade was an historic symbol of the progress. Gay Jews had been prevented from participating openly in the event previously, and the negotiation of the terms for our participation this year was wrought with difficulties. This foreshadowed some hostility I anticipated not without trepidation. But, it was not fear of homophobic responses at the parade that gave rise to my conflict. However, the intolerance I witnessed and this religious woman’s unprovoked attack and unconditional declaration that we did not belong did sharpen my dissonance.

I had been conflicted about marching in support the state of Israel. I’m happy that the state of Israel exists, and the Jewish people have a land that we can call home. Indeed, it has been my home; I had lived there as a teenager, some of my family come from Israel, and I have loved ones there. I am also extremely proud that Israel is the most gay-friendly country in the Middle East. Nonetheless, I found myself unsure about whether it was right for me to march in the parade when the innocent people in Israel find themselves without basic rights or even a homeland because of beliefs they cannot be tolerated and do not belong simply because they are African immigrants or Palestinians.

Growing up with an extremely limited “secular” education in a very right wing Orthodox section of Brooklyn, I was taught that the state of Israel was the holiest place in the world and that all the Arabs of the world wanted to kill and destroy the Jewish nation. Arabs were equated with Muslims, Muslims with Palestinians and Palestinians with anti-semitic terrorists. Fear of anti-semitism was seared into my heart and mind by my parents, teachers and community leaders, whom I looked up to while growing up in Crown Heights: “They hate us, they all do, and there will be another holocaust in America one day”. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve heard such declarations. When I started leaving the fold of the Orthodox community, I approached the greater world with an irrational fear that I was hated as a Jew unconditionally and that, if the evil people of the world had their way, we would be destroyed and wiped out completely as a nation. But, it was not until I realized that I am gay that I learned what discrimination and hatred really are. Even before I came out, I felt shamed and tortured by my religious counterparts when I was outed at yeshiva at the age of 16.

I had not experienced anti-semitism, but I knew homophobia.

And, I am ashamed to know that some of my own relatives had been involved in anti-Palestinian violence in the rebels’ uprising before the state of Israel was established. Some in my family take pride in this heritage — a legacy of cold blooded murder of innocent women and children in a town called Deir Yassin. For me, it’s a stain of intolerance, heartlessness, hatred and murder.

Despite what many try to deny, Palestinian people, who have lived in the region long before the nation of Israel was recreated, have suffered oppression, hatred, pain and denial of basic human rights simply because they are different and declared intolerable and not to belong. A woman recently argued to me, “There are 27 other Arab countries in the Middle East, why can’t any of them take in these Palestinians?” Essentially, her argument was that everyone living in Palestine who doesn’t belong should move to another country. Before the establishment of the state of Israel, it was felt the Jews did not belong in Europe and represented a threat, and they were forced to leave the countries they lived in or into ghettos and were eventually slaughtered. When I was younger, I attempted suicide because, in the community I was raised in, gay people did not belong. Still today, I am told on innumerable occasions that I should move somewhere, anywhere else than Crown Heights because I do not belong. And, at the largest event in the world representing Jewish solidarity, we were told that we did not belong.

Marching at the parade, the truth dawned upon me: the people who have actually oppressed me have been self-proclaimed religious Jews, who would preach love and tolerance. Jews in America today have every single right and protection afforded to other minorities. But, as a gay person, I face oppression and discrimination and cannot even marry the person that I love with the same protections and benefits as every other American. As I grew into my gay identity, I learned that being a Jew in America today is a breeze — even when I walked the the streets of Paris at 16 dressed in traditional religious garb, I never faced a single anti-semitic remark. But, today here in the country I was born in, my rights are denied because small-minded, intolerant bigots refuse to recognize the constitutional separation between church and State. And, I am told that I do not belong at secular event celebrating Jewish solidarity.

Aside from the homophobic remarks and actions of some, the reception of those watching the parade was positive. Indeed, I believe it was a monumental achievement that we marched openly as a group. I knew that my presence at the parade was important because numbers speak louder than anything. And, thankfully we did have numbers; lots of us showed up and marched proudly as LGBTQ Jews down fifth avenue. Even as some watched in shock and horror, others may have been encouraged. Younger LGBT people who saw us marching knew that they are not alone, and that we do belong despite what others may say.

The woman who declared that we should be ashamed and did not belong at the parade criticized us about our t-shirts, insisting that she doesn’t walk around parading that she’s heterosexual. I had to observe, “you’re wearing a sheitel (wig); that’s your parade.”; she declares her heterosexuality and religious affiliation every day for the whole world to see, and I have no doubt that she does so with observant pride. Many religious communities deny our very existence, people like this woman seem to prefer that we do not exist, we have been denied representation in the event for decades, and LGBTQ Jews are largely invisible. Consequently, it felt imperative on that day to declare that we do exist, that we do belong and and that you are not alone on banners and shirts. But, the rainbow Israeli flag on my chest made me feel like a walking target, proud yet conflicted.

I stand with the state of Israel. But, I also stand with the Palestinians, who are living on the marginal territory without any citizenship or civil rights. My heart bleeds for the innocent lives taken. I cry for the innocent LGBTQ young lives lost because because of hatred, intolerance and feeling they did not belong in their communities. I stand for all people living under oppression all over the world. Just as much as I hope for LGBTQ equality, I hope that the conflict between Israel and Palestine is resolved before any more innocent lives are ruined.

Huffington Post: Dear Rabbi Shmuley, Can You Leave Dan Savage Alone?

2012-05-04T18:53:00.002-04:00

May 3rd, 2012

Chaim Levin

Jewish LGBT activist

This open letter comes after a few days of comments and articles written by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, a proud supporter of gay rights and a dear friend of mine. He has lambasted Dan Savage for certain remarks made in reference to the Bible. Rabbi Shmuley went so far as to compare Dan Savage to the "Westboro Baptist Church of the left." Seeing this headline, I was shocked that Rabbi Shmuley was able to conjure such an analogy about a man who created the It Gets Better Project dedicated to helping save the lives of LGBT teens all across the world. On the other hand, the Westboro Baptist Church and other right wing fanatic groups have literally called for the death of homosexuals, likening LGBT people to pedophiles, murderers and many other abhorrent comparisons that don't even deserve to be mentioned. Dan Savage has never crossed such a line.

Savage did refer to specific verses that call for the murder of homosexuals as "bullshit," but it was in the context of speaking "as someone on receiving end of beatings that are justified by the Bible." Rabbi Shmuley and many others have seen Savage's remarks on the Bible an "attack" on the Bible. What these critics fail to observe is that we generally do ignore those parts of the Bible that Savage criticized. Savage is not the first person to question the applicability of such passages. In Judaism, the death penalties prescribed in the Torah have been suspended since between 30 B.C.E. and 70 C.E., and Jesus famously said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her," in defense of a woman accused of adultery -- a sin to be punished by death according to Leviticus. Had I been speaking, I'm not sure that I would have tied such strong wording to the Bible, which many people believe to be holy and find meaningful. Nonetheless, Savage's point still stands.

The taking of isolated verses from the Bible as justification for hatred and vilification of LGBT people is complete and utter nonsense that is inconsistent with the Bible and religious tradition. The Mishnah (Sanhedrin 1:4) required that the death penalty be inflicted only after trial by a Sanhedrin composed of 23 judges and with the testimony of at least two witnesses of the act itself who must also have issued a warning beforehand that the act would lead to execution and that the criminal stated his willingness to commit the act despite this. Not even confession was accepted as evidence. Throughout the Talmudic literature, this whole subject is viewed so much unease that the rules in the literature made the death penalty virtually impossible to impose. Talmudic law on the death penalty emphasized the primacy of the commandment to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:17). A similar appreciation for the Bible and the commandment to love one's neighbor was emphasized by Jesus in the Christian Bible. The commandment to love one's neighbor is one that seems often ignored by those on the right.

Generally, we all ignore the things in the Bible that today would be considered barbaric, inconsistent with basic morality and contemporary understandings of freedom and justice. Savage gave specific examples of things that are ignored, such as the Bible's justification of slavery, the prescribed execution of a woman if she isn't a virgin on her wedding night and many other things. Indeed, most of the world was shocked by the Muslim and Yazidi stonings of Soraya Manutchehri and Du'a Khalil Aswad, despite these penalties being based on similar ancient customs and religious texts. If we interpreted everything in the Bible as applicable today, we would be living in very different times, and I'm fairly certain that they wouldn't be good times.

Like Rabbi Shmuley, I was raised as an Orthodox Jew with the Torah as my guide to morality and life, but I do not believe one needs the Bible to teach them the basic tenets of human decency. It is not because of the Bible that I do not murder or steal. According to the Bible, all human beings were created in the image of God and have knowledge of good and evil. Such values are enshrined in the traditions of other cultures, both religious and secular. Moreover, the Bible does not prevent immorality, even in the communities that recognize it. I have seen firsthand self-identified religious people stray from the core belief system of their religion and commit terrible crimes against others. I understand that the actions of adherents do not define their religion, but at the same time, one cannot claim that the Bible is the only source of morality. In many ways such a position is offensive to all people, especially the good upstanding citizens of our world who have never had any association with the Bible or its teachings.

Rabbi Shmuley, I've been a welcomed guest in your home many times and hope to be in the future. I cannot tell you how incredible it was for me to be able to bring my then-partner to your house for a meal on the first night of Rosh Hashanah. You have opened the minds and hearts of people on important issues, and I hope you keep doing so. However, I think it is important to realize that Dan Savage has never ever spoken anything like these right wing groups. These groups use the Bible to justify their hatred against LGBT people. I think that most moral people would agree that that is wrong. To compare Savage to people who are filled with such hatred is absurd and reminiscent of the disturbing trend to misrepresent anti-bullying activists as bullies themselves. Even if this were the case, the Bible does require "an eye for an eye"; nonetheless, there is a world of difference between speaking out against bullying and bullying. Unlike those fanatics on the right, Savage never advocated for death, pain or condemnation of any group of people; right wing groups fight ferociously against basic rights and freedoms through legislation and widespread reach in conservative communities. In the context of being someone who suffered abuse justified by some by portions of the Bible, Savage referred such passages as "bullshit." While his choice of words may not have been the best, there is little to fault in his actual argument.

Dan Savage is a hero in the eyes of many people in this world who found themselves without hope or comfort during the most trying of times. I am one of those he has comforted and given hope.

On 40,000 hits and my upcoming 23rd brithday

2012-04-27T12:55:00.003-04:00

While my blog has been somewhat silent over the past couple of weeks, the numbers and comments have been speaking for themselves. I'm fairly confident that within an hour after this post will be up, my blog will pass the 40,000 number, a monumental moment for me since I started this blog just a few short months ago.

I've been undergoing some very personal things and therefore have not been able to write as much as I'd like to, but I am working on some things that will hopefully give my dear readers something to talk about :).

My 23rd birthday is coming up on May 13th, this year in particular my birthday is significant for many reasons, most importantly, the incredible success that I've seen and felt over the past 12 months.

As I reflect on these events, both past and future, I am thankful to you, my dear readers, for giving me the ability and believing in my potential to go from "strength to strength" and take Harvey Milk's quote on giving people hope and turn it into a reality.

With much love,

Chaim Levin