but I guess I'm a bit too serious...

The Resolutions of John

2012-03-04T19:52:00.000-05:00

Being inspired by the Seventy Resolutions of John Edwards, I made my own list of resolutions. It wasn't meant to be something like a New Year's Resolutions, but rather something I would aim for EVERY day of my life. If I broke some of the resolutions, it was alright. I could try again the next week. And on and on...

Well... I made this in January 2012, but I had not looked at it once since I came back to Boston for my Spring semester of classes. Today was the first day I did this. And man... it was so refreshing to be reminded of the attitude I had when I had written the resolutions down. I was so determined to live my life to the full, glorifying God and not being satisfied at any point in my life. I was also reminded of how some of the resolutions I had written down are getting ingrained into my daily life, but certain things aren't (ex: always have a water bottle when going to classes, run every day, etc).

I'm hoping I can get back into it, starting tonight. I should do the 100 push-ups a day that I thought of doing when I wrote down my resolutions, I should give thanks to God for creation, for placing people around me.
If I approach this... and if I approach life in general as a laundry list of things to do, I'll be left bitter and tired.
Instead, I have to remember that this life I am living is not my own... instead, I am "bought with a price" (1 Cor. 6:20).
What was the price? It was the death of Jesus, and by His death and resurrection I can really live the way I was meant to live...

Now... about this week...
It was alright, I guess. I was getting frustrated by the fact that I was getting tired really easily these days. I had trouble studying. I was getting tired of cooking. And when thinking about what I wasn't doing, I thought one of that was that I wasn't exercising. I have to keep my body loose and fit.
But I guess another thing is having a "tired" mindset. The more I think I'm "weak, tired," I think I end up creating a "self-fulfilling prophecy." I have to wake up every day thinking, "This is a day the LORD has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it." I have to rejoice in the LORD...

"for the joy of the LORD is my strength"

the problem??

2012-03-03T12:43:00.002-05:00

is that i stopped working out.
that's why i get so tired.

a painful sensation

2012-02-26T21:36:00.003-05:00

Just a few minutes ago, I put salt on my canker sore. I just felt this stressful sensation running up my face, and it was almost to the point where water welled up in my eyes.
I think overall, there's just been "stress" throughout the past two weeks. I've just been losing steam and I've fallen behind in a lot of stuff.
But today during church, our pastor said something that reminded me of what got me "on fire" as indicated by one of my previous entries from January. We just have to "accept God's word" even if some things we might be uncomfortable with, or we might even disagree with.
Some things in the Bible do make me say... "what in the world is this??"
But as our pastor pointed out, Jesus wouldn't say the things He says unless He knows we CAN do those things.
I'm trying to pick myself back up, just by saying "God, I'm just going to follow you."

Speaking of following God... Lent.
I was kind of irked when I saw a Darth Vader twitter account that said something like "for Lent, I am fasting from choking" other people (if you watched the Star Wars movie you'd know what this means).
PEOPLE ARE MISSING THE POINT.

Honestly, I was guilty of this too, so I'm not saying this like I don't know anything.
Why do people "sacrifice" or "fast" from something? Is it self-denial? Are we trying a "self discipline" program?
As my pastor in Symphony reminded the congregation, we are ADDING by SUBTRACTING. (Btw, I am basically summarizing in my own terms). We decide to subtract something "worldly" from our lives so that we can add more of God's goodness. We often make a sacrifice of time during this season, and that's so that we can spend more time with God. If I am made to think more of Jesus' sacrifice when I "fast" from something... then my fasting is futile.

Well... but here's what I'm doing. Last year, I did what I like to call a "progressive fast," where I sacrifice more things as each week goes by. Last year, I started with no junk food; two weeks later, I stopped something else in addition to junk food, and it went on and on until the last week, where I was fasting from a whole bunch of stuff.
I think I'm going to do that again. And this time, I really really really really hope I can sustain it beyond the season of Lent.
I'm starting off with "no junk food" yet again (oh, and games). I'm going to remember that I can't just live my life satisfying all of my natural cravings, and one of the biggest things is my appetite for food. But of course, craving extends beyond food. We have other "drives" we want to fulfill. Sex is a big thing. Another is greed, ambition.
Next Wednesday, I'm quitting YouTube videos. I waste so much time on it. And this, I hope, will be a perfect time for me to "add by subtracting."
I don't know beyond that. But I'll pray about it and really think of what are some "idols" in my life. What do I end up "worshiping" in my life? (and maybe... it can even be "religion.")

Don't get lazy!!!

2012-02-14T00:16:00.000-05:00

Yea... it's starting.

The time has come when there are midterms and projects that need to be taken care of on a weekly basis.
This also means it's when I feel like "ugh... don't want to study," which also leads me to think, "ugh... I don't have time to do anything!" And that leads to not keeping my body in shape, being active socially, and also not spending time in prayer and meditation.

And of course... that's all a lie. Today, I definitely had time to do everything I wanted. Except I was tired like crazy in the afternoon because I went swimming in the morning. I take an intro swimming class and today was the first day some of us went to the competition pool. Man... it was amazing, but sooooooooooo long and it was at a good depth (7ft and ? inches, if I recall correctly). I ran out of breath continuously, which also reinforces the fact that I need to get in shape.

Well... I'm really hoping I continue to keep my head up high. I have to "stay alert" in all areas of my life, making sure not a single moment is wasted.

Last week was... the beginning of the craziness.
Super Bowl ended, and I spent most of Monday/Tuesday studying for an Accounting exam I had on Tuesday evening. After that ended, I actually ended up spending Tuesday evening just bumming around. Not the best thing to do..
Wednesday... what did I do Wednesday... Well, I was watching this video on "faithful attraction" [to the opposite sex] with some Korean people. It was very interesting, and it coincided with the sermon "series" that was going on at Symphony. Then I ate dinner with someone and chatted. I love those meetings. It really allows me to know other people better and I wish they were so much more frequent.
I remember last academic year when I always met with my SMG fellas for dinner and even though it wasn't like we had deep conversations, they were times to just unwind and get a breather from classes. But now, I barely see any of them I'm the only one that lives in an apartment. Oh if only we went to church together or something along those lines!! If only I can convey my feeling that it's not what most people think it is! That would mean the world to me...
(and yes... many people have the wrong perception of church. Maybe it's because there are a lot of "broken" churches. Well... church is made up of all broken people, including myself, but there are a lot of things that have been distorted that shouldn't be...)

Thursday I met with my family group and I made food for some of them, as many of them came early (because they were baking a cake). And then I realized I had this one HW due and scrambled to finish it...

Friday... pretty chill day. And then on my way to church, girl scouts were selling cookies!!!
Oh... but so unhealthful... I bought "Caramel delite" and 2 cookies (1 serving size) had 29% Daily Value of Saturated Fat!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (this is why swimming helps. And it helps to eat my veggies).

Saturday... went to get groceries. This girl helped me carry it back to my apt. and then we ate dinner together. Afterwards... I was experimenting with making pancakes. Well... some of them came out as disasters.

Sunday was a bit hectic. I made breakfast for the worship team but I underestimated the time it takes to make for about ten people and foolishly thought I might make pancakes even though the night before was the first time ever I tried that (w/o the supervision of my mom). Sunday service/went back to my place/finished my pancake batter (no I did NOT eat the batter itself)/clean/ate with my friend/go to a sustainability meeting/read/sleepover at someone's place.

Yea. That was my week. Lot of doing stuff with people. I love it though.

I just hope that I'm going to continue spending every minute wisely. I got my first interview for a summer job this week! ohhhh... sick feeling in the stomach... (well, sort of. I'm just in need of practice b/c I'm not the best interviewer and I haven't done it for some time).
Got another midterm, and need to start on my projects.

Oh... and today is SINGLES AWARENESS DAY!

SCREAMING. at no one.

2012-02-06T13:16:00.000-05:00

Last night I invited several of my friends to have dinner. It was planned out like a month ago, but coincidentally it ended up being the same night as the Super Bowl. Well... it was definitely the Super Bowl that made it a memorable night.

(I'll put pictures when I come back to edit the blog. I'm just trying to write stuff right now before my recollections slip away. I also have a test to study for.)

I had a bunch of food ready, and once [almost] everyone arrived, I started cooking. A couple other friends also made some stuff. And then we ate, of course :)
I should have figured out a way to hook up my computer monitor into the TV receiver thingys, but we watched the Super Bowl through the internet. Next time, I'll make sure I don't make that mistake.

Well... the evening was just relaxing and sort of fun, with us playing games, eating, and watching YouTube videos. But it really got interesting in the last few minutes of regulation in the 4th quarter. Of course, when the Giants were rallying to take the lead, all of us really fixated our eyes and minds on the television screen.

The Giants scored.

This is where things got really interesting. Obviously, the game itself was, but things got interesting within the confines of my room. As Tom Brady's throws slipped away twice, a couple girls were SCREAMING!
Words like "stupid," "what the fudge," "omygosh omygosh" filled the room.
And then the last play happened... when Brady literally just threw the ball as far as he could, hoping a Pats player would pick the ball in the midst of many jumping bodies... and then we all had an expression of excitement, or of light-hearted disappointment.

(BTW... No punches, slaps, or food throwing happened.)

But... as I thought about how I watched the Super Bowl... first off, it was the first time I was watching with a bunch of friends. But what made it more interesting was being with female friends who were rooting for a team of their choice, and going crazy when they either did something good or bad.
Second was the emotion. Usually when I watch games on TV, I usually have some composure.
This time, not so much. But what made me lose my composure were the commercials.
Watching off the internet, the Super Bowl commercials didn't air online (watched on NBC.com). Instead, just one guy coming out in I think a Chevy commercial kept coming out. I got annoyed, to say the least. I was like, "NOT AGAIN!!!" and expressed my bewilderment... haha...

High stake games show character...

mind-clearing.

2012-01-30T21:09:00.004-05:00

The semester has been... quite crazy already. I feel as if the semester is already in full swing even though we've had classes for only 2 weeks (so far). I'm not feeling burnt out or anything like that, but I do think I need to "slow down" and be continuously aware of how I'm spending each day.

I think I'll give the update by talking about how I am physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.

Physically, it's interesting. I've been trying to get in the habit of working out in my apartment every day, so I've been doing push-ups and using my resistance band for various exercises. I'm also taking a swimming class, which I think is going to be extremely helpful for me. It's only been like 4 classes but I already feel like I've learned so much. My breathing's also gotten better.
I'm sort of struggling with eating. It's not that I'm being malnourished or eating too much, but I've been "lusting" for junk food. I wish I could fill my mouth with Korean snacks/gummies and stuff like frapuccinos. Actually, I just went shopping in CVS because my friend was looking for something, and I was tempted by a Lifesavers gummies pack that was on a "buy 1 get 1 free" sale. Well... I didn't buy it because I remember a promise I made to myself that I'm going to donate money that I would otherwise spend on gummies (though I never gave a timetable).

Emotionally, I think I need improvement. I'm not insane or anything like that, and I do not struggle with anger as much as I did in the distant past, but I need to make sure I'm not making hasty decisions, that I exercise godly judgment, but at the same time being filled with joy (and true joy can only come from knowing the LORD and knowing that He is moving in my life).

Spiritually... haha... this is a tricky one. (By the way, if you are not Christian, I still encourage you to read whatever I write. I believe that God is truly alive and the reason why it seems like there is no God is because people have never simply asked/sought Him. The way of following His Word is the most excellent way because God loves us and wants the best for us. The Bible says God is our Father. Think of a perfect parent, even though it might sound like an oxymoron for many people. Such parents always want the best for his/her children.) In my last entry, I talked about how I feel like I'm about to be on fire. Well, I guess a more accurate picture of me is that I feel as if I'm going up towards a peak. However, the road is still narrow and there are bumps and hazards here and there. I've been realizing some of my own shortcomings though at the same time really thinking about being self-disciplined. However, I also need to continually pray to God for His help.
Oh, before I continue, I must mention one thing (and I'm preaching this to myself more than to anyone else). Being spiritual doesn't mean I'm something who prays and reads the bible and acts "righteous." Rather, spirituality is marked by how God is my everything and how He is made Lord over every single thing in my life. And simply put, spiritual life is simply life from the perspective of God. Am I following His will? Am I loving Him? Am I glorifying Him through all that I do and think? Am I loving people?
But of course, in order for me to be confident with these questions, I need to continually spend time in Word and Prayer. And I'm going to do my best to do that. When God said in Joshua 1:8 to meditate on His Word "day and night," He MEANS day and night. This doesn't involve complex interpretations. I think this verse is very very straightforward. We have to spend time with God EVERY DAY.
But here's the PROBLEM. Satan (I will not be afraid to write the name here and tell the world what a deceiver he is) has deceived the 21st century church so much (I'm actually sort of paraphrasing from someone) to believe that we have no time at all to spend time with God. We think we're so busy doing work, taking classes, studying, spending time with family, balancing our financial accounts, etc, that we think, "sorry God, I really wish I could spend time with you but I just don't have time..."

REALLY!????

I made a schedule of what a typical week looks like for me (and usually it stays typical in terms of what I do at each hour). The result was to say the least, astonishing. Even if I budget an hour a day to spend in Word/Prayer, I still have at least a couple hours of free time. Ok, yea, sometimes I need rest and I spend some free time hanging out with friends or cooking, but let's say I spend 30 minutes a day in Word/Prayer each week, that's really spending 3%... I repeat... THREE PERCENT(!!!!!) of my whole week assuming I spend 7 hours sleeping each day (more like an average of 6. I guess I sleep quite a lot for a college student). Calculation= So I did 3.5hrs divided by 119 (168 hours, which is how many hours there are in a week, minus 7hrs of sleep each day, which is 49 hours in a week).

Alright, there might be some extenuating circumstances here and there, and for certain occupations spending time with God may "be" difficult. But the key is... what if we stop making excuses about how difficult things are and focus on this being "easy?" and a time of refreshment and renewal.

Having said this, if you are reading this, please pray for me. And pray for yourself as well. Satan is not going to relent and continue to make us believe that spending time with God is not worth it. We need God's protection. I believe the more earnestly we pray about this, God WILL not let the evil one get near us. And we also need to really ask that God meets us because if we don't invite His presence, our "date with God" times will be feeble.

Unfortunately, to say the least, I am still human. This morning, it was extremely difficult to do my devotional. All I wanted to do was go back to my bed, roll around, and then open Facebook and look at pictures.
And this is why I need to continually ask for God's grace and power to overtake me.

Mentally... well... this part is more than just about my academic life at college. I am constantly seeking to be mentally sound because there are just so many corrupt thoughts/ideologies in the world. For one thing, I am realizing I need to exercise my brain so much more. Maybe I should work on Math problems and things like that in my free time. One reason I say this is because I feel like I'm not good at memorizing things easily.
School is tough. It's not so much about the workload, but about the effort I put into my work. I know I need to participate more often and spend more time thinking about my readings.
But even in this I need God's help. His power is made perfect in my weakness.

Well... that's about it for now. I feel like I've actually cleared my own head after writing all of this...

On fire!!... almost...

2012-01-17T17:05:00.001-05:00

When someone is continually doing something right (ex: making every single basketball shot, getting consistent 100s on a test, making consistent gains on investments), we tend to use the term "He/she's on fire."

It's a new semester for me (and thousands and thousands of college students) in the US.
Before coming here, honestly I guess I felt like I needed to be ON FIRE in terms of studying and doing my best this semester.

Well, last weekend, there was a revival in my home church, and I really needed it. I realized I was too concerned about being on fire about studying and neglecting the fact that I need to be on fire with everything about me. I should first and foremost seek an intimate relationship with Christ and let everything about my life be all about that. Why? Because I remembered that a life following Christ is a blessing. It doesn't mean I'll become a millionaire and/or become famous (although*** some people do), but there is nothing else that will satisfy our question of "who am I? Why am I in the earth? Why do I live? Do I have a purpose?"

I'll admit I do not have the perfect answer. But I have confidence that in due time I will come to full realization to that. Until then, I gotta give 100% with everything.
In terms of school, it's just started. But I hope I will RUN.

***Correction: I wrote "almost" in the first entry. For one thing, it wouldn't be grammatically correct. For another, "almost some people" do not become millionaires.

New Year is coming!

2011-12-31T14:11:00.001-05:00

Well... 2011 is now coming to a close. I first decided to list some things as I reflect:

Some moments that are laughable (and quite sad as well):
-I burned my hand making ramen
-The bug incident during a church retreat (see a previous entry)
-INCEPTION!!! (it's an inside joke)
-Another "inside joke" kind of thing. Asians sleeping in the library. It's something that only some of my friends know about. I won't disclose the details.
-One particular Facebook status in February read like this: "so while people were doing last-minute shopping for heart-shaped balloons and chocolates, i went to buy soap, toothpaste, and cough drops"
-Another Facebook status. This occurred after I changed my dorm room: "In what apparently is the "fastest
room change in BU history," i found out about the room at 2pm, checked it out at 3, had it approved at 4, and settled in by 5!!
(still gotta clean tho)"
-Another inside joke from finals: ISHKABIBLE! (this was an answer choice in a practice Stats exam)

Some memorable moments/things that happened (in no particular order, simply as I remember them):

-First ever missions trip- to the Dominican Republic, from May 23 to June 4. (See previous entries)
-Having an interview with a CIO of a company as a freshman (without knowing what to really talk about) and quite simply just having a conversation (Jan or Feb).
-Got my first SLR camera (Nov). Dream of mine from High School fulfilled. Back in high school, I wished I had enough money to buy a Canon SLR. I bought a Nikon, but that will suffice.
-Going to Atlanta for Spring Break, visiting Emory University (March). I was wrestling with the decision to transfer or not, but ultimately I felt like I belonged at BU. In any case, the opportunity got [closed]. Anyways, it was hot, I was wearing shorts, ate some southern chicken, and it was good. I loved how people in the metro area had their southern accent. A few places I visited: Olympic Park, Georgia Dome, CNN building
-Getting my permit (March, also during Spring Break). I guess I am a bit late on making this happen since I got it at the age of 18.
-Buying an NKJV bible. I list this because I really wanted a different translation and the one I got has study notes. (March or April)
-BU Hockey games. Record when I went: 1-2. Won against Harvard, lost to BC and Northeastern (ah c'mon, we're better than that!!!!). Anyways, those were good hangout times with friends and it was a good way for me to feed my athletic spirit.
-Freshman year family group on Thursday. Not to say soph year is memorable too, but the memory making isn't done yet with that.
-First Red Sox game (April). Fenway Park is quite old...
-After hearing the announcement that Osama Bin Laden was killed (May), I thought it was a good idea to go to sleep. Bad idea. BU campus was flooded with students parading/going to Boston Common to celebrate.
-Earthquake shock reaches NY (sometime in summer). I was watching a movie when this happened...
-Symphony Cup. Our family group won the spirit award ;)

I'm sure there are other times that made this year unique in its own way. Overall, college is becoming a huge transition phase in my life as I am trying more new things than I have ever done and crafting myself for the "real world." But I always feel I can do so much more: I feel like I can make more efficient use of my time, study better, play better, and live as a stronger man of God.
What do I expect going into 2012? Just that I would be better than ever before, and just for greater awareness of myself and the world around me.
And I guess as a side note, to make this blog live up to its name (that is, unless I change the name).

yea... got to have humor...

2011-12-21T22:03:00.000-05:00

The week was rough, exhausting, challenging, crazy, and just downright difficult.

Finals Fall-2011

2011-12-11T19:28:00.000-05:00

Wow... it's already that time?

This semester moved very quickly. But this has been mentioned so much that the phrase is a cliche now.

This week was largely spent finally taking a breather from schoolwork, though I have one project and one paper due tomorrow.
Nonetheless, I've been still battling health issues for some reason and I am contemplating being a vegetarian for a month. Which is almost impossible for me because when I was young, I HATED vegetables (including kimchi, even though I am Korean and born and sort of raised in Korea). I'm much more fond of them, but I can't imagine myself eating just greens for 30 days...

Well... that isn't what's primarily on my mind right now though. Obviously, as the title suggests, finals are taking a huge chunk of my life now. Nonetheless, I hope to find balance in my life. Will update on that I guess after finals!

Laughing in the midst of trials

2011-12-04T17:01:00.004-05:00

Question: are you able to find joy even if you're going through a bad day, or a bad stretch, or just something in your life isn't going quite right?

My answer: I think yes.

This week was somewhat of a challenge for me. I didn't have bad days, but I spent this entire week "battling" diseases/health problems. I bit my lip (with my canine teeth!!), causing a canker sore. I must have had some kind of an allergic reaction, so my skin broke out in rashes (though the outbreak happened a couple weeks ago), and I had a headache in the middle of the week.

Friday, I had a presentation for my Organizational Behavior class. I thought our team did pretty solidly, though I guess there's always room for improvement. So that was what really occupied some time this week.

I left NY on Sunday evening, and the traffic in NYC was ATROCIOUS. Luckily I met a couple people from my church in Boston, and sort of traveled with them. So back to school it was, and it's weird because there are 6 more days of school, and then FINALS @.@

Anyways... yea, it was really the whole health stuff that was getting to me. I wasn't emotionally distressed or anything, but I was occasionally bothered. (Editing note: now that I think about it... this bothered me way more than I should have...)

In the midst of that, I turned to the Bible and into the book of Job, chapter 2. Basically, Job was covered with all these "painful sores" all over his body, which was sooo bad that his friends could hardly recognize him.

His wife exclaimed, "are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!" (NIV)

But this remark by Job was encouraging for me, and I hope it encourages me in future trials:

"You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" (NKJV)

The Christian God (who as a matter of fact is the Only God) isn't a genie. But.. He will work for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Scoring a turkey in bowling

2011-11-24T19:16:00.000-05:00

Ahh... thanksgiving. And what am I doing? Being on the internet >.<

On Wednesday morning, I left Boston to go back to NY. Monday and Tuesday was spent going to classes, work, and finishing a project!! YAYY!! Anyways, yea, I got back to NY and I was just really exhausted from the traveling. And... today, my family decided to go bowling for a bit... it's kind of funny because my dad got a "turkey" in bowling, which is when you score three strikes in a row. The moment I saw that, I thought in my head, "fitting."

It's good to be back with family; and yea I take it so much for granted. It's the first "institution" that ever existed in the earth... before businesses, churches, non-profits, governments, nations... there was Family.

What am I thankful for? Honestly, I haven't really thought of things as much as I should.

I can come up with a list by thinking, "what if I didn't have them?"

But I think it's time to move off from that immature thinking. Yes, I use the word "immature." (Not because it's wrong, but there's a higher level of thinking).

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says we should "give thanks in all circumstances."

It doesn't say "in spite of." It's not in spite of what I own. Or what I don't own

I just have to be thankful as I am.

Btw... I said in my previous entry that I'll talk about that "Answer."

I think it might be obvious, but I wish that most people who read this will really think about it.

And this is what I believe, that perfection comes from "Jesus."

Admittedly, everyone is "imperfect." So am I. I do a lot of foolish/stupid stuff. Even those that seem to be the most "perfect" or most "accomplished" have shortcomings. But naturally as humans, we have something called "pride." How is this evident? Well, have you been angry when someone tells you something that's wrong about you, and they're right? Or... have you used defense-mechanisms such as rationalizing? Or maybe you think you're deserving of something and you don't get it?

Well... people can be free of those things. They can be free of imperfections, or putting on a mask of pride... because Jesus accepts anyone as they are, as long as they are willing to open up as well. I think I'll have to write about this later, when I organize my thoughts more...

Anyways, to conclude... I'm going to spend the bulk of this weekend just doing a lot of reflecting... haha.. hermit John.

Btw... good start by thinking about how I should watch where I go/move. (HERE'S SOMETHING HUMOROUS FOR ONCE) When going on the bus from Boston to NY, I was moving towards my seat when my head just jerked back. It just turned out that I banged my head against the overhead bins on the bus. I wonder if anyone that saw me laughed. Haha... I'm laughing now at myself...

Interesting words

2011-11-13T19:32:00.001-05:00

"So... when in the world was there ever a superhero named... Kevin??"

"Yew Nork" - instead of saying New York

Frankly... I'm not the smartest person in the world. But that's ok.
I am not the most talented person in the world either. That's ok too.
And well... like the second quote... I say a lot of silly things.

Shortfalls and weaknesses don't have to be the lament of life.
But there is something that makes me perfect... something that makes everyone perfect... but if I were to write the "secret" down here, most people would probably think "what? really? huhh?"
That's because I think there's a huge load of misunderstanding behind that. I'll try to cover the "Answer" on my next post, but until then...

Anyways, on to the week.
I realized I've been wasting too much time watching YouTube videos. And I realized I check the "Hot Stove" on MLB a lot. So I'm hopefully trying to wage a war against my use of the internet. Hopefully, the time I spend on the blog goes up though, because I really hope to keep track of my daily life and reflect on the ability to find joy even in the midst of my own imperfections, silliness, and awkwardness (YES... I am a VERY VERY awkward person).
I also didn't do as well as I wanted on one of my exams. I was really frustrated after I got the results back. But I decided to think through it during work, and I felt like I need to push myself more (and like I said above, stop using the internet for purposes that will do me no good). And yes, I can't do this by my own power, so I am going to believe in miracles...

Checkpoint

2011-11-05T17:49:00.000-04:00

So today, I went to a reunion for those who went on the Dominican Republic mission trip from May-June (refer to an entry way back). It was a good refresher for me to get together with friends I have not seen in a long time so that we can just catch up, give updates on each others' lives, and also think about what are some things that have stuck with us and what are some things that haven't.

Definitely I need to work on a lot of stuff that I thought would stick with me. For one thing, it's easy to get lost in the "abundance" here in the US. One can easily indulge in unlimited food at a buffet (or a college dining hall), while a "poor" family might have to live with just spoonfuls of rice and potatoes. But I sound pretty cliche talking about all of this. The problem is: what am I going to do about this? It's not enough to just feel sorry for those people..

The other thing is... I really need to work on this blog more often!

The ultimate FAIL

2011-10-25T21:59:00.003-04:00

... occurs when you say "yeaa... that's right" or "that's true"... and you don't live out what you agree with.

Dirt on hands and feet

2011-10-10T20:34:00.003-04:00

Weekdays = the usual. School, work, trying to be active on campus, etc...
I had my first class presentation this academic year, though it wasn't formal like the ones in the past; I guess because it didn't count for much, everyone decided to do it in a very chill way (like having storytime!!)

Saturday was something called Symphony Cup. Basically my church in Boston had a "competition" to see which family group (or small group) is the "best." (Note that I put quotation marks, because we're not trying to foster competition, but we're just trying to have friendly matches and just enjoy a day together as a church).

Well, I originally planned on participating with my sneakers on, but we as a team (family group) decided to go barefoot!

And... this is what happened...

(btw, I notice that I've been writing so much more about my weekends than I have about my weekdays. I think I'm definitely finding so much meaningful time spending time with people who care about me, whom I care about, and who invest in each other)

9/26 - 10/2

2011-10-02T17:23:00.000-04:00

It's a bit annoying to update the blog, but actually it's so refreshing. The whole month of September, I felt like I could never update my blog because of my "busyness." But really, as long as I can manage my time correctly (and decrease any "idle time" that occurs in my life), I can really slow down myself.

On Friday, I went to a retreat with the church I attend in Boston, called Symphony Church. The theme was "Deeper," and for me, I went into the retreat feeling like I needed a break from the "real world" and also to regain my sense of God actually being real in my life.

Honestly, most people wouldn't believe in a divine or higher power unless we can see evidence of it. No one wakes up one day and says, "Ok, I believe in God." But God is gracious enough to reveal that He is real, but only if we are open and willing to delve deeper into this question. And yea, it doesn't happen by logic. Often I try to explain a lot of things by logic, and to a certain extent it had created some blind spots in my faith. But the retreat definitely helped me to once again refresh myself on how real God is in the world, and on a personal level, how He is with me and in the midst of everything I do.

For some reason, another thing I was thinking about in the middle of the retreat was this one part in Bruce Almighty. "God" talks to Bruce about a miracle, and "God" mentions one example: a single mother who works multiple jobs but still finds time to spend time with her children.

I hope I would find that kind of a miracle being fulfilled in my life.

I end with this- the part where "God" talks about the time thing. It's a miracle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88Pfk79SgQU

September...

2011-09-25T16:50:00.000-04:00

It's been almost a month since I wrote here... I've been very busy just being at university, doing lots of boring, fun, and wild stuff. It's not easy juggling studies, work, serving at church, and involvement in several different student groups, but I actually think it may be a blessing in disguise.

It's a pretty funny thing; here's why: I have never been this busy in my life, and my mentality is that I cannot go on wasting a single moment of my days/life. Time was always something precious to me, but how my life is right now makes me really put every single second into use. (Sleeping/resting counts b/c you have to get recharged!!)

I just wanted to end by mentioning the surprise I got on 9/16, which I think sums up how it's been for the first month back at school:

I started class at 9 and ended at 12... then a good friend treated me to lunch. Afterwards, I just went back to my apartment to chill for a bit, after which I left at 5 to go to a Christian fellowship (the meeting starts at 7, but I had to help set up). After all the hustle and bustle, and as the meeting was wrapping up, a couple of the people from the fellowship brought CAKE!!
Everyone in the room sang Happy Birthday as I sat, not knowing how to react.

Even a "long" day is full of surprises.

Some Fail Moments...

2011-08-29T22:47:00.002-04:00

Well... I can start off by saying that the hurricane didn't do a whole lot where I lived...
there were some blackouts in certain areas, and there were a bunch of trees that fell, but otherwise everything turned out fine... Of course, there are some areas that weren't as fortunate so hopefully they can be restored soon...

Well, I've been thinking lately that there's been a good number of "fail" moments in my life the past couple weeks. So I decided to list them=

-I made this thing called gae-ran-bap (계란밥, which is basically rice with eggs). I used two eggs... well, actually, I would've used only one but then I ended up BURNING the first egg. The second egg was flawless...

-Looking all over my house for my vacuum cleaner when it was right under a small table in my room...

-Wondering for a minute why sound wasn't coming out of my speakers when the volume was set at 0 the whole time.

-Trying to put a Facebook post and prematurely clicking "Share." The status was supposed to say, "?? An ice cream truck passing right before a hurricane?" or something like that, but the status read "?? An ice cream trucking pas" or something like that. I ended up not sharing the status at all though.

-Burning my thumb while using a lighter to light a candle. (I am not a smoker)

-Thinking lotion was shampoo and rubbing it around my hair during a shower......

Hurricane Irene!

2011-08-27T11:44:00.002-04:00

I live in Long Island... it's pretty calm at the moment but the grocery stores and other food stores are pretty packed...

Let's see what happens...

Kicked out... of a playground!???

2011-08-04T23:11:00.000-04:00

So today at Summer School, the students got kicked out of a playground by the guy who takes care of the park, saying that too many of them were on it (20 of them on a 50ft long playground), they were too wild (they were playing tag), and that some are too old (11 years old)...

Is that even... logical??

(By the way... everything I wrote here is just about 100% factual. I did not exaggerate the guy's words, nor did I exaggerate/underestimate the facts like the kids playing tag...)

July 25-31

2011-07-31T23:48:00.000-04:00

What an awesomely busy week!!!

Monday - Friday = teach at summer school. It's fun stuff but sometimes I go crazy... One of the days there was a hornet that entered our lunchroom, so this guy and I went off to kill it (and all the kids encircled us as if they were watching a real execution or something... thanatos kicking in??)

Special things in particular:
Monday = meeting with some people to practice instruments
Tuesday = hmm... what did I do?
Wednesday = stay at home, relax
Thursday = field trip w/ summer school. We went to the NY Aquarium... kiddies had mixed results. Some said it was alright, some said it was boring. Personally, I like animals so I wasn't bored at all... I tried to make it entertaining for the students I was watching..
Friday = chill...
Saturday = I made my very first music recording!!

And today... after church, I went to a wedding reception... (almost wrote WEEDING reception..)

In the meantime, I have to admit the fact that I'm sort of a concerned Mets "fan." Ugh... hate admitting it, but I'm concerned for them. I didn't like the Yankees simply because they always won and subconsciously I think I saw some of the players (like Derek Jeter??) as people with a huge prima-donna attitude... haha, I don't know where that came from, but I simply didn't like the Yankees...
However... my favorite is the White Sox :p. Why? Because their announcer is such a biased beast... haha... he always says "you can.. put it on the boarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd..... yyyyyyes!!" every time a White Sox player hits a home run.
(this is an example of his reaction when the opposing team does well... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0x1AAPHn1g)
I also like how they're a talented bunch... except they just can't win against the Twins! What in the world is up with that!??

And yes... I am a crazy baseball guy....

Retreat 2011- Part 2 of 2

2011-07-24T22:48:00.000-04:00

My previous entry's title had a "?"

That's because I wasn't sure how many entries I would write about retreat, and because I wanted to think about how much momentum carries off from the retreat.

So... I started work at a summer school. It's pretty tough but it's fun. I think the biggest challenge for me as I work is the fact that I'm not just training the students to be good academically, but also be good, ethical people.

Other than that, I've also been trying to become more musically knowledgeable..

But now referring to the retreat, it seems like the retreat was a long time ago. Not good, is it?

Retreat 2011 - Part 1 of ?

2011-07-04T21:53:00.001-04:00

My pastor giving a sermon, a humongous insect is flying near Paul.
He flinches, causing the insect to fly and land on my left hip. I sit still, arms purposely crossed. From the corner of my eye, I see Alex taking a book(?) and approaching me..
*BAM*
I feel the book hitting me, though I do not know what happened to the insect.

And then the sound of Alex smacking the insect (possibly two more times) reverberates throughout the room.. BAM... BAM...

I turn, and I see the insect on the floor, defeated.

June 20-26 = about Trust

2011-06-26T21:33:00.000-04:00

I think I need to delete this blog and then create a new one, because I feel like this blog is not about the fact that sometimes we "gotta have humor."
Why? Well frankly, life is actually serious... though we have lots of unexpected twists..

As a Christian, we are to trust in God... but is it easy to trust even in times of trouble? Is it easy when there is brokenness?
Often times, faith shakes when God doesn't seem to give us what we want, even if we ask with good intentions.
And when God does, we say "Yes! I believe! I will follow!" but do we really sustain this attitude?

What is needed, is simply Trust.
God promises us in the Bible that He WILL lead us in paths of righteousness for His name's sake (Psalms 23) and that He has a plan and He will not harm us (Jeremiah 23).

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.
-Isaiah 40:30-31

This week, I've been getting ready for work at a Summer School (I will be working as a teacher but will also do administrative stuff like staff directing/trip planning) so that's really preoccupied me recently.
But on Thursday afternoon, I left NY and went to Philadelphia for a church conference. This is where I was really challenged to let go of myself and simply trust... it's like playing the game where a person stands behind you and you fall backwards without bending your knees...

Hopefully we don't do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_a8xuu4UlLY