GR2BR

Couldn't have said it better

2012-01-31T08:56:00.000-08:00

I had to share an excerpt from Ramin Setoodeh's "One For The Money Review: Does Katherine Heigl Have Fans?" from The Daily Beast:

On Friday morning at 12:01 a.m., I went to the movies to see One for the Money, the new Katherine Heigl crime caper that’s so lousy the studio wouldn’t screen it early for critics. I had to watch it at the first public showing in a Manhattan theater, with all of Heigl’s groupies, if they exist. Here’s what happened, as recorded in real-time on my BlackBerry.

11:50 p.m. A 26-year-old man working at the concession stand tells me how much he enjoyed Heigl’s performance in Zack & Miri Make a Porno. I point out that Heigl was not in that film.
11:53 p.m. I find my seat. Number of people inside the theater, including me: 1.
12:00 a.m. I am still the only person here. This is worse than going to your high-school prom alone.
12:04 a.m. A few others have trickled in. Number of people inside the theater, including me: 5.
(blah blah blah)
12:35 a.m. Number of people inside the theater, including me: 3. Two teen girls have already fled.
(blah blah blah)
1:03 a.m. At this point, Heigl does the impossible: handcuffed naked to her own shower pole, she’s still boring.
(blah blah blah)
1:37 a.m. Heigl is shot in the butt. Is that supposed to be a metaphor.

I'm guessing he's not a fan.

Are we clear?

2012-01-27T14:12:00.000-08:00

Are we clear?

Crystal.

Down or Not - genius

2012-01-26T14:15:00.000-08:00

By now, you might have an idea that I'm something of an inveterate surfer (web not water). As far as I'm concerned, when a site goes down, it qualifies as a natural disaster.

Of course, when a site goes down — and I'm talking an ordinary, every day kinda site — my first thought is that it's my fault. There must be something wrong with my browser, my network, my internet connection. Which does in fact turn out to be the case... occasionally. More often, shockingly, the problem has nothing to do with me (yeah, yeah, I know... there's a larger life lesson in there).

Downed sites were really a cause of angst and frustration... until I discovered downornot.com (good lord, I sound like an infomercial... "my acne was so bad, I was embarrassed to go outside, until I discovered Boa Balm"). Rest assured, I have not been paid, compensated or otherwise remunerated for this post.

Anyway, my point is, now instead of immediately going to "it's not you, it's me," I go to downornot.

Man, am I in trouble if downornot goes down.

How do I love thee, David Pogue?

2012-01-20T09:13:00.000-08:00

I'm hoping if you use the internet, which you do almost by definition if you're reading this, you've been following — even peripherally — the whole SOPA/PIPA controversy. (By the way, doesn't the British pronunciation of that word — con-TRAH-versy — sound so much more elegant than ours?)
As with most controversies, the right and wrong on this one is not clear-cut. Not exactly. The goal of finding a way to better protect copyrights and reduce online piracy is in and of itself a pretty good idea. The way Congress has chosen to approach achieving that goal, however? Not so good.
David Pogue — my all-time favorite geek-gadget-tech-cool-things columnist — took a step back for a better look at the issue in yesterday's blog post, Put Down the Pitchforks on SOPA. I highly recommend you read it — only Pogue could so clearly break down the issue and the merits and flaws of the opposing positions, while still getting in zingers like these:

"In a perverse stroke of curiosity, I thought maybe I’d actually study these bills."

"For the record, I think the movie companies have approached the digital age with almost slack-jawed idiocy."

"In this case, the solution is to work on the language of the bills to rule out the sorts of abuses that the big Web sites fear. (And to fix the other minor point, which is that the bills won’t work....) "

AmericanCensorship.org did this great infographic on SOPA/PIPA (click on it so it gets big enough to actually read — it's pretty nifty).

And for those of you keeping track — I haven't forgotten I owe you the list of the other nine EGOT champs. Patience, grasshopper.

Now, THAT'S a list I can get behind

2012-01-19T11:26:00.000-08:00

You know that post I wrote about the surprising Kris Kristofferson? Truth is, I really meant to write about Mel Brooks. People get those two confused all the time, don't they? No? Fine. Be that way.

So anyway, back to Mel... I stumbled upon this awesome article on Topless Robot (I stumbled on it, I didn't name it) — "10 Kickass Things Mel Brooks Did (Besides His Movies)" — which led me to my 'unknown brainiac' spiel... which led to Mr. Kristofferson... which led to... oh, to live in my brain. But today — today, I really am going to write about Mel Brooks.

Here are the "10 reasons you should be impressed besides how many times he got you to watch Blazing Saddles and still laugh." I could try to put it better, but why work that hard? (Many kudos to Topless Robot for this list.)

Created Get Smart. Yep, that was him — with Buck Henry, who, by the way, besides playing Liz Lemon's dad on 30 Rock, was nominated for an Oscar for writing The Graduate, which starred Anne Bancroft (see below) — there is just no end to these brainiacs in hiding.

Gave us Max Brooks. If nothing else, Mel's son has been credited (or blamed, depending) for the recent uptick of zombies in pop culture — his 2003 book, The Zombie Survival Guide, pre-dates the truly hilarious Shaun of the Dead, Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake, the film adaptation of I Am Legend (you know what I think about that movie), the Cinderella story movie (the actual movie, not the plot) Zombieland, AMC's The Walking Dead, to name a few. That and his next book, World War Z, are both on their way to the silver screen. Plus — how cute is Mel's grandson, Henry Mel?

Rocked Broadway. You know all those movies that have been musicalized and transported to the Great White Way? Blame Brooks. His production of The Producers won 12 Tonys, and Young Frankenstein was nominated for three. Next up, he's writing the book and music for a Broadway version of Blazing Saddles. "The sheriff's near."

Wrote in comedy's version of the Brill Building. If it weren't true, it would be ridiculous. Nah, it's still ridiculous. Wrap your mind around this round table: Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, Carl Reiner, Neil Simon, Daniel Simon, Larry Gelbart, Selma Diamond, Michael Stewart and Mel Tolkin. Uh huh. In one room. Writing for one guy (Sid Caesar). For the record — those minds brought us (just a sampling, mind you): Blazing Saddles, Manhattan, The Jerk, The Odd Couple, Sleeper, Young Frankenstein, My Three Sons, Bye Bye Birdie, Diff'rent Strokes, M.A.S.H., Hot in Cleveland... you get the drift.

Discovered Dave Chappelle. Betcha didn't know that. DC's first film role was in Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Thanks for that, Mel.

Got the EGOT. Mel Brooks is one of only ten people — EVER — to win the grand slam of entertainment awards: Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony. I know, I know — you want to know who the other nine are. Hey, I need something to write about tomorrow.

Won the heart and hand of Anne Bancroft. A duo right up there with Newman & Woodward for Hollywood romances that make you believe in "wuv, true wuv" (recognize that? It's from a movie directed by Carl Reiner's son... see how that works?). And proof positive that women go for men who make them laugh. Really.

Brought us The Elephant Man. Not only did Brooks produce this far from funny story of the "classic wandering Jew" directed by David Lynch, he was on set every day. Though... would you believe it was Brooks' kids' babysitter who gave him the script? That's at least a little funny.

Defused landmines. No, really. Brooks joined the Army Corps of Engineers when he was 17. Legend has it that when the Germans began blasting propaganda at the American troops through loudspeakers, Brooks set up his own loudspeakers and blasted back with his impression of "Toot Toot Tootsie." Take that, you stinkin' Krauts!

Gave us Gene Wilder. Further proving my beautiful-women-love-funny-men theory, it was Anne Bancroft who introduced Mel to Gene after she worked with him on stage. Three years later, Mel cast Gene as Bloom in The Producers, after which we got Gene as Willy Wonka, Gene as Young Frankenstein, Gene as Jim, The Waco Kid. Happy days.

Smarter than he looks

2012-01-18T20:12:00.000-08:00

There are few things I love more than surprising brainiacs — and I don't mean sneaking up on Alfred Einstein and yelling "boo!" I mean people who surprise you by being far, far smarter and more accomplished than you ever thought they were.

Like whom, you ask?

Like Kris Kristofferson — depending on how old you are, you might remember him as Obi Wan (c'mon, he is!) in Blade, or as the only cool thing about the vastly unfortunate Streisand remake of A Star is Born.

I bet you anything you don't know half what you think you know about this guy. Seriously, check out this bio of him written in 1958 in Sports Illustrated:

"This dashing young man in the Rugby outfit plays standoff on the team at Pomona College in California, where he is a senior. But this is only a small facet of 21-year-old Kris Kristofferson's amazing record. He is also starting left end on the varsity football team, a Golden Gloves boxer, sports editor of the college paper, outstanding cadet in the ROTC battalion of which he is cadet commander. As an English major he is an honor student and member of the four-man senior honor society on campus. Kris won four of the top 20 awards recently given in a creative writing contest for college students. He composes folk songs which he sings to his own guitar accompaniment. And to crown this varied list of accomplishments Kris is a Rhodes scholar-elect, one of 32 young Americans chosen to go to Oxford this fall.

Yep. A Golden Gloves boxer and a Rhodes Scholar. Not to mention, he's been nominated for an Oscar, won a Grammy or three, won a Golden Globe and in 1985, he was inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame (you do know he wrote Me and Bobby McGee, right?). And that picture... Crazy Heart, anyone?

Hear that? That's Kris Kristofferson yelling "boo!"

You have to see it to believe it

2011-10-14T11:41:00.001-07:00

Say hello to my little friend.

The lion, the witch and the wardrobe? Nope.

The scarecrow, the tin man and the cowardly lion? Uh uh.

Clapton, Lennon and Richards?

Duh.

Sneaky, sneaky Hitchock.

From the minds that brought you Star Wars, Ziggy Stardust and The Muppets comes...

Don't quit your day job, guys.

You. In 160 characters or less.

2011-09-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

Maundering around the web as I am wont to do, I happened upon these "best" Twitter bios. I had to share.

@DianaSilvaSays — I love my husband, my dogs, all things marketing, three-day weekends, high-heels, reading, running, knitting, sushi, wine, long walks on the beach…wait, what?

@badbanana — Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.

@smuttysteff — I tweet hard, fast, & often. I’m opinionated & swear CONSTANTLY. Don’t like it? Don’t follow. Otherwise: You’ll take it & like it.

@katefettie — You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Nice to meet you, too.

@ZacharyColbert — S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R

@bgibbs73 — Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football.

@TheBloggess — I have friends in spite of myself.

@cubedweller — Brand igniter, angel investor, public speaker, former Virgin.

@jpundyk — Nice guys finish lunch.

@cryjack — Fight stupidization.

@HotAmishChick — Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless

@JeffCThorson — I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking, have increased dramatically.

@wanderingbiker — Unemployed computer guy takes off on his motorcycle seeking fame, fortune and adventure.

@howardgr — A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.

@ohyesshecan — social strategy & implementation. will work for shoes.

@radmul — If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment

@nancyfalls — I’m @JasonFalls’s wife. I am not on Twitter. Go do something useful.

@QueenRania — A mum and a wife with a really cool day job…

@Glinner — I apologise in advance.

@oilman — Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.

@TheMadHat — Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.

@AllisonBatof — Naturally and artificially flavoured

@RebeccaWoodcock — I am a sample size of one, not statistically significant, nor representative.

@KRCraft — An ounce of perception – a pound of obscure.

@EzraButler — I’m the illegitimate love-child of Strategy and Creativity. Now neither parent admits to having me…

@cshirky — Bald. Unreliable. Easily distracte

Culled from The 20 all-time funniest bios (parts 1&2) and 20 Twitter Bios that Demand Attention. Nicely done.

Oh, mine?

@AnswerG — Wait. I'm still thinking.

Ah, yes, I remember it well

2011-09-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

Him: We met at nine
Her: We met at eight
Him: I was on time
Her: No, you were late
Him: Ah, yes, I remember it well

(If you’ve never seen the movie, you can watch the clip here).

Has this ever happened to you?

You know you were with the Johnsons when you got food poisoning.

Your spouse knows you were with the Macintyres, and in fact you’ve never even had Chinese food with the Johnsons.

Fear not. According to Dr. Steve Dewhurst from Lancaster University, memories, it turns out, are not faithfully recorded in our minds as we like to think, but are “updated each time we bring them to mind to fit our current knowledge and beliefs.” Yep, that's right. Memory is mutable.

The book The Invisible Gorilla: How Our Intuitions Deceive Us — the title comes from the famous, and infamous, Gorilla Experiment (I won't tell you any more, you can try it for yourself here... it only takes a minute) — explores these “everyday illusions of perception and thought, including the beliefs that:

we pay attention more than we do,
our memories are more detailed than they are,
confident people are competent people,
we know more than we actually do,
and our brains have reserves of power that are easy to unlock.”

One of the authors puts it this way:

“we assume that when we recall a personal experience vividly; that the richness of our memory means it must be accurate. The idea that we can remember our experiences as if our brain were a camcorder is fundamentally wrong.”

So the next time you remember a different when, what, where or who than your husband, wife, father, sister, or son — try remembering this: you could both be wrong!

2011 Without Steve Jobs?

2011-09-15T15:53:00.000-07:00

Can you imagine the world without the iPod? The iPhone? iPad? Pretty weird, huh?

Most people under the age of 30 probably won’t believe this, but... Apple did not invent the portable music player. That would have been Sony, in 1979, with something called the “walkman." Nor did Apple invent the laptop, the tablet, or the cell phone. In the last 10 years, under CEO Steve Jobs’ leadership, it only seemed as though it did.

Last month, Steve Jobs announced his resignation from Apple, leaving a legacy of breathtaking design innovation and juggernaut market dominance. Instead of invention, Apple focuses on transformation, impacting our expectations as much as, if not more than, our capabilities. Apple didn't invent those consumer products, it's true — what it did do was redefine them.

Believe it or not, it was only 10 years ago, in 2001, that Steve Jobs introduced the very first iPod. Which, with an LCD screen, a click wheel and a whopping 5Gb of storage, retailed for $399. (FYI, the current iPod Classic comes with a full color screen and 160Mb of storage — and retails for $249.) While Sony brought us a miniature version of our same music experience, Apple gave us an entirely new music experience.

The iPod was simple, slick and — with the iTunes 99¢/song music store — so easy, my grandmother could use it. As Steve Jobs put it, “design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.” Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but here are what a few analysts and reporters had to say about the device (from CNET.com) at the time:

“An analyst at NPD Intelect said that the iPod… may have trouble digging out a niche in the market.”

“An IDC analyst said Apple may take some heat for entering the consumer electronics market, which typically has lower profit margins than Apple gets from its computers… but… It's another incentive for them that can convince people to buy a Mac.”

Let’s see. Dig out a market niche? Check. Lower profit margins? Hmm… not so much; it’s estimated that Apple makes close to 60 percent profit on each iPhone. As for convincing people to buy a Mac? That may be so, but as of 2010, the iPod and iPhone accounted for twice as much of Apple’s revenues than the entire Mac product line.

And so the iRevolution began.

Author and consultant Simon Sinek, in his presentation at the TED conference, talks about what makes Apple stand out. Apple, he says, doesn’t tell you they make computers and music players and cell phone — all of which look cool and work great. No, what Apple tells you is this: “Everything we do – we believe in challenging the status quo. We believe in thinking differently. The way we challenge the status quo is by making our products beautifully designed, simple to use and user-friendly. We just happen to make great computers (music players, cell phones). Wanna buy one?”

Apple may not be responsible for inventing the laptop, the tablet, or the cell phone, but Steve Jobs is responsible for changing our perspective and raising our expectations of how those things should work — for us.

Don't you have to write it to own it?

2011-09-15T13:54:00.000-07:00

In a seeming triumph of culture over commerce... of high art over pop art... of the little guy over the big, bad mogul... author Chinua Achebe has succeeded in forcing rapper 50 Cent to change the title of his upcoming movie.

As reported last week in the culture blog, Vulture (and HuffPo and EW, etc.) the facts lay out as follows:

In 1958, Achebe wrote what is widely acknowledged as the most read African novel of all time, titled "Things Fall Apart."

In 2010, 50 Cent wrote, produced and financed a film directed by Mario Van Peebles, about a football player diagnosed with cancer, also titled "Things Fall Apart."

In 2011, Achebe's lawyers contacted 50 Cent to rename his movie prior to its release. In response, 50 Cent offered Achebe $1 million to be allowed to use the title. Mr. Achebe's legal team refused 50 Cent's offer, saying "the novel with the said title was initially produced in 1958 (that is 17 years before [50] was born). [It is] listed as the most-read book in modern African literature, and won't be sold for even £1bn."

This is the point at which 50 Cent agreed to rename his movie “All Things Fall Apart.”

Were I 50 Cent, rather than acquiesce, I might instead have replied to Achebe's representatives, "tread softly, because you tread on my dreams," and then gently reminded them that Chinua Achebe took his title from a William Butler Yeats poem, "The Second Coming":

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world...

I might have gone on to note that 50-some years ago, when Mr. Achebe's novel was about to be released, Yeats' legal team evidently declined to ask Mr. Achebe to re-title it, nor did they point out that "the poem with the said phrase was initially published in 1920 (that is 10 years before [Achebe] was born). It was written by one of the most venerable poets of the 20th century, and won't be sold for even £1tn."

"The worst are full of passionate intensity." Indeed.

(This post is dedicated to my big sister, who introduced me to Yeats, and to Achebe and Didion, and to a whole assortment of great authors — and who can recite this poem from memory.)

A Tale of 100 Movies

2011-08-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

AFI's 100 Greatest Movies: The Story You Haven't Heard

It happened one night that Lawrence of Arabia went north by northwest, following Sullivan's travels until he reached Casablanca. Arriving before the last picture show aired on the network, he began to tell a few good fellas the west side story, which goes something like this:

On a dark and stormy night, the general, the graduate — even the godfather! — went singin' in the rain on the waterfront. Entranced by the sound of music under the city lights, the wild bunch opened a swing time cabaret, where they planned to mash the grapes of wrath and drink all night, eat venison delivered by the deer hunter and serve duck soup at two temperatures because some like it hot. But then, in the heat of the night, Tootsie arrived with news of the gold rush in Nashville — and suddenly, they were all gone with the wind.

All was not lost, as the searchers managed to keep Schindler's list up-to-date: according to reports, one flew over the cuckoo's nest when Sophie’s choice meant saving Private Ryan and letting the others go. The midnight cowboy flagged a taxi driver to head over the bridge on the river Kwai. Bonnie and Clyde, still unforgiven, escaped the deafening silence of the lambs and fled to Chinatown. The blade runner, not surprisingly, took the maltese falcon to kill a mockingbird. Shane was last seen riding away on a streetcar named desire, gazing out the rear window at Sunset Blvd. shimmering at sunrise. As for that psycho, Annie Hall — she gathered 12 angry men and a raging bull to go after the treasure of the Sierra Madre.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid spent a night at the opera, hoping for a toy story featuring the Wizard of Oz and the Lord of the Rings. The fellowship of the ring, sadly, turned out just to be some pulp fiction all about eve, so they returned to the apartment, where the African queen was reading the Philadelphia story. She swore the sixth sense let her see Snow White and the seven dwarves, but Dr. Strangelove insists there is no such thing — all she saw was some American graffiti.

Tomorrow at high noon, Mr. Smith goes to Washington to ask "who's afraid of Virginia Woolf bringing up baby?" Going there is just step one, according to the godfather, part 2 is getting double indemnity, so he can ask whatever he wants. Also in our nation’s capitol, all the president's men decided finally to let yankee doodle dandy become a citizen. Kane made the French Connection by reversing his nouns and adjectives and presenting the easy rider with a clockwork, orange. King Kong ate Jaws and apparently ET (the extra terrestrial) sent Rocky back 10 years to fight in the Star Wars. Last we heard he was suffering from vertigo and writing his memoir, 2001: A Space Odyssey.

The raiders of the lost ark were going to do the right thing, of course, and take a platoon to save the Titanic, but Spartacus, still stinging from intolerance, announced "these modern times call for an apocalypse, now." Luckily, Ben-hur and Forrest Gump, fresh from the Shawshank Redemption, were able to dissuade him, convincing him it's a wonderful life and these are the best years of our lives.

If you don't believe me, here's a hint: 9, 20, 25, 14, 19, 13.

Look, Ma! No gravity

2011-07-29T00:33:00.000-07:00

Superlatives are the most overused parts of speech around.

Best Buy. The Greatest Story Ever Told. Droid Incredible. America's Most Wanted. The Supreme Court. The Biggest Loser. The World's Fastest Indian. The Genius Bar.

Really? A whole bar of geniuses? C'mon.

But... The League of Extraordinary Dancers... are extraordinary. Don't believe me? Check out this video from their performance on So You Think You Can Dance. No strings. No trampolines. No wires. Just... dancers. Extraordinary dancers.

(Note: video. And no fooling, you really, really want to click here - or even here - if you can't see it)

What is The LXD? It's Step Up meets The Justice League. It's Heroes — except in this war of good vs evil, the superheros dance instead of fly. As The New York Times puts it, it's "Jerome Robbins for the hip-hop age."

Start with a dash of Gene Kelly, a sprinkle of Mikhail Baryshnikov, a skosh of Eleanor Powell, a pinch of Ann Miller, a generous helping of Fred Astaire, and a whole lot of Michael Jackson. In a separate era, blend hip-hop, acrobatics, break dance, tumbling and krump. Mix well and cast absurdly good-looking, really, truly, ridiculously talented dancers. Drop 8-minute episodes on the web once a week.

(Seriously. Who can do that?)

The things you can do today

2011-07-13T08:27:00.000-07:00

Something about this picture tickled my fancy.

I wanted to share it, so I went looking for the original — I saw this one on thecopybot.com (a great blog on writing for the web, by the by)...

...though I have to say the post on which this particular image was included, "How to Read a 291-page Book in Two Hours" isn't one of my faves... I mean a) 291 pages isn't all that long and 2) didn't we graduate from CliffNotes? If you want to read something, READ it... otherwise, go see the movie. Not that I feel strongly about it or anything.

As I was saying, I went looking for the original and found... this (on Flickr).

The same, yet not.

Crazy what the average joe can do to a photo these days. Tilt-shift, anyone?

Mrs. Doubtfire or Mr. Mom?

2011-06-01T12:19:00.001-07:00

Hollywood has always had a soft spot for fathers. From Spencer Tracy in Father of the Bride to J.K. Simmons in Juno, dads on film have always held a special place in our hearts. Here are some of my faves:

5. For his endless imagination and unflagging determination to give his son a childhood in the face of formidable obstacles, Roberto Benigni’s father in Life is Beautiful really is a thing of beauty.

4. Whether he belongs on the best housekeeper list or best Dads list, Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire undoubtedly belongs on a Top 5 list somewhere. Willing to go to any lengths to be with his kids, he eventually triumphs, gaining not only his kids, but also his own TV show.

3. When your mom dies and you have to travel five thousand miles to live with your dad, you really hope he turns out to be like Fly Away Home’s Thomas. What other dad would not only let you adopt a flock of geese, but build you your very own Ultralight (painted like a mama goose, no less) to migrate your flock hundreds of miles south from Canada to North Carolina?

2. I have always had a soft spot for Leon in The Professional. Just goes to show biology isn’t everything. Then again, what hitman wouldn’t want to adopt an adolescent Natalie Portman?

1. Was there ever a better father than Atticus Finch, as portrayed by Gregory Peck? “Stand up Jean Louise, your father’s passing.” Stand up indeed.

Whatever real life might have in store for you, the good ol' silver screen always gives you something to dream about.

35 million views - for a reason

2011-04-03T11:37:00.000-07:00

One of my all time favorite commercials ever. Ever. Ever, ever, ever. Like forever and then some. (No, seriously, I really dig this ad.)

There is a video clip here and if you can't see it, you're really missing out if you don't click here to watch it.

Not a word is spoken and you never see his face. And yet...

One of the few car companies to make commercials worth watching. I guess the force is with them.

Greek Yogurt + Green Goblin + Dr. Seuss = Magic

2011-03-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

This is what it's like if Willem Dafoe reads you bedtime stories.

(There's a video here. It's short. And, if you ask me, it's worth watching, so if you can't see it, click here.)

Thank you, Mullen (an agency in Boston) for this treat. Their own Brian Tierney (@BCTierney) wrote the copy.

Looking forward to seeing (and hearing) this ad again? Check.
Remember the product it's shilling? Check.
Spectacular? Check.

Sundays are ad days

2011-03-25T03:29:00.000-07:00

For me, commercials fall into two categories: "spectacular" and "not".

What, you say? What about the terrible? The awful, the egregious, the outrageously bad? Settle down, I'm with ya. That is, you see, the beauty of the word "spectacular"— could be spectacularly good or... not.

Sometimes it's a whole campaign, sometimes it's just one ad... but I find it fascinating how much money is spent on advertising, and how many sadly mediocre commercials are produced.

Because a spectacular fail is better than a "play it safe and bore 'em to death." Don't believe me? Do you remember what Bjork wore to the 2001 Academy Awards? Bet you do. How about Julia Roberts? Or Catherine Zeta-Jones? No? See? Spectacular fails can still be marketing successes (along the lines of that old chestnut: "no publicity is bad publicity").

Spectacular Sundays are born: my weekly personal homage to the Clio (or Razz) worthy. Don't all clap at once.

God has another most beautiful angel

2011-03-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

When Audrey Hepburn died, Elizabeth Taylor said, "God has a most beautiful new angel."

Elizabeth Taylor died this morning, and as my friend Amy would say, "that's some heck of a team God is putting together up there."

If you're not an old movie buff like moi, your idea of Liz Taylor is probably incomplete. Husbands out the yin yang, weight gain, weight loss, weight gain, pills, rehab, crazy hair. Perfume shiller. Maybe you even think of her as an AIDS research advocate and fund raiser extraordinaire.

Personally, she was also known for being an extraordinary friend. By all accounts, she saved Montgomery Clift's life after his car accident near her home, climbing through a back window because the doors were too mangled to open and reaching into his mouth to pull out loose teeth that were blocking his airway. She continued to care for him, renting a suite at the Chateau Marmont for his recovery and doing her part to see that he continued to work in Hollywood.

Indelibly linked to AIDS and AIDS research, she was inspired to campaign for the cause when another friend, Rock Hudson, announced he was suffering from the disease. Against the advice of friends and publicists, Elizabeth went ahead and became the face and voice for a disease that at the time, no one wanted even to discuss, let alone acknowledge the scale of the threat it posed.

Professionally, Elizabeth Taylor won two Academy Awards for acting (for "BUtterfield 8" and "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"). One of the last fixtures of "Old Hollywood," she was almost so un-really gorgeous, it's sometimes hard to see her performances past her face, but they're there. Everyone has their favorites, but for me, it's

National Velvet (I don't care, I love that movie)
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (Paul and Liz in the same movie? Need I say more?)
A Place in the Sun (when Montgomery Clift was almost as beautiful as Liz)
Suddenly, Last Summer (though really, it's Katherine Hepburn in that movie who is so riveting — can you say twisted and obsessed? Brrrrr.)
and Giant. Not because I should, but because I actually do. And also because in it, Dennis Hopper plays Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson's son. Who knew?
(By the way, the average RT score for those movies? 94.4. Nice going, Elizabeth.)

Albert Einstein said "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." Feels like Elizabeth Taylor was here not even a minute.

Caution: Keep crust away from flame

2011-03-21T11:09:00.000-07:00

Wow. Talk about learning something new every day. I can't wait to try this trick.

In my search for the simplest pie crust recipe to make with the fabulous E, I found a new secret to flaky, sublime, no-fail pie crusts. Vodka.

Ya, no kidding. Vodka is evidently all that stands between you and the perfect crust. This trick comes straight from Chris Kimball's epicurean mouth itself, and while Cook's Illustrated may not be the source for exciting or sexy new recipes, it is for sure the resource for perfected versions of your tried-but-not-yet-so-true cooking staples. You know, like pie crust.

According to the folks over at The Kitchn, "this baked dough (we had some scraps we baked and ate immediately) was the tenderest, flakiest crust we'd ever used in a pie. Delicious! (And no taste of alcohol, in case you were wondering.)"

That's enough to make me want to bake a pie right now. Or at least the crust. Besides, the way I see it, if the pie doesn't turn out, at least you can still get your guests drunk. And then no one will care about the pie.

You've seen the commercial, now see the original

2011-03-20T15:38:00.000-07:00

Gene and Donald...
They're sitting.
They're dancing.
They're sitting.
They're dancing.
They're sitting AND they're dancing.

(Yep, video here. Like dance? Can't see the video? Click here, it's worth it.)

And... if you haven't seen the commercial:

(Another video - only 30 sec. Check it.)

Q: what channel is Mike Tyson's TV show on?

2011-03-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

A: Animal Planet.

I laughed so hard when I heard that, I fell off my couch. Because, really, what other channel would his show be on?

But it got me thinking... slightly tangentially, as per usual. I'm not a reality TV show fan, at all, but perhaps, if some of them were tweaked just a bit?

Announcing this season's all new Reality TV shows!

Survivor, starring Donald Trump, hosted by Donald Trump, and guest starring Donald Trump. Guess who's not getting voted off the island?

The Amazing Race, with Sarah Palin. "It's not how far she gets... it's what happens along the way!" (With guest appearances by Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee).

The Biggest Loser, hosted by Bill Maher and featuring Glenn Beck, Mel Gibson, Dr. Laura, John Galliano, Michael Vick and several surprise guests. "After years of being themselves, eight people begin a journey together to become people worth knowing."

Desperate Housewives starring Mrs. Spitzer, Mrs. Clinton, Mrs. Ensign, Mrs. Letterman, Mrs. Gibson, Mrs. Sanford, and Mrs. Woods, hosted by Jesse James.

Maybe reality TV isn't so bad, after all.

Form + Function: The Light Dawns

2011-03-17T14:58:00.001-07:00

The good news is that this seriously good-looking light bulb is actually an eco-friendly little fellow, using 80% less electricity to produce the same amount of light as a conventional bulb, and lasting 8 times as long.

The bad news is that it's currently (ha!) only available in the UK. But reports indicate that it's coming to the US... soonest.

In the meantime, congratulations to "plumen 001" for winning UK's Design of the Year award.

Don't scratch that iPhone - never mind, you can't

2010-12-13T07:10:00.000-08:00

Here's a little bit of personal insight: my sister often calls me "Miss Oblivious." It's not a compliment. Though it is affectionate.

I never really thought about how impervious my iPhone screen is to scratches and dings. In fact, I sort of never noticed it at all. Of course, had my screens become scratched and fuzzy, I have no doubt I would have complained vociferously and often.

Turns out, those screens are not made from ordinary, scratchable, glass. They're made from "gorilla glass."

According to myth, Steve Jobs attended a presentation where a scientist from Corning (yes, the same Corning responsible for those white casserole dishes with the abstract blue floral insignia that every mother has at least one of in her cabinets somewhere) dumped a small square of glass into a bag with a bunch of keys and shook. Hard. Then removed the still pristine and gleaming glass with nary a ding, scratch or scuff. And voila, the smartphone touch screen.

Reading up on it, because knowing all about Gorilla Glass is just the sort of useless information that delights me and renders my brain too full to retain anything useful, like, um, uh... See what I mean? Anyway, turns out Gorilla Glass is also making breakthroughs in the flat panel arena, because not only is it more durable and less scratchable — it is also stronger at thinner thicknesses (well, how would you put it?) than ordinary glass.

Besides, how could you not love a product with a logo of a gorilla doing a down dog?

Brilliant, spelled "i-d-i-o-t-i-c"

2010-10-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

To: Whoever is in Charge at Gap
Date: A day after too late
Re: Your new logo

Please refer to page 41 in David D'Alessandro's book Brand Warfare: 10 Rules for Building the Killer Brand wherein he describes the pitfalls of brand boredom. Note the fate of the senior executive at John Hancock who insisted they "drop the famous John Hancock signature from our logo and replace it with personality-free block letters. Never mind that we'd been using the signature since 1862, and it was one of Americas oldest logos and spoke volumes about our trust-worthiness and stability. Never mind that we had a trademark recognized by anyone who'd ever sat through a fifth-grade history class, and by removing it, he almost cost us our right to use it. He was apparently tired of it."

Hmmm... "personality-free block letters." Sort of like this inspired transformation?

I see that it has taken The Gap's new President, Marka Hansen, three years to fall prey to the "I'm new and important and I'm going to make my mark on this brand" syndrome - as evidenced by her post on HuffPo last week:

The natural step for us on this journey is to see how our logo — one that we’ve had for more than 20 years — should evolve. Our brand and our clothes are changing and rethinking our logo is part of aligning with that.

We want our customers to take notice of Gap and see what it stands for today.

We chose this design as it’s more contemporary and current. It honors our heritage through the blue box while still taking it forward.

Please pay particular attention to the section where Ms. Hansen expresses surprise that Gap still connects with its customer base:

Now, given the passionate outpouring from customers... we've decided to engage in the dialogue, take their feedback on board and work together as we move ahead and evolve to the next phase of Gap.

From this online dialogue, it's clear that Gap still has a close connection to our customers, so tapping into this energy is right. We've posted a message on the Gap Facebook Page that says we plan to ask people to share their designs with us as well. We welcome the participation we've seen so far.

So, now that she sees that the Gap brand, as it stands, resonates ("still") with its customers, she plans to enlist that customer base to redesign the brand image? Evidently the lesson she took away from this is that the Gap's customer-base are branding and marketing experts. This was all just a test?

What part of that presumably expert consumer-base's message, "leave the logo alone," did she not understand?

If you're wondering about the fate of the John Hancock executive? He (and his inspired branding ideas) soon found themselves somewhere other than John Hancock. Food for thought, people at Gap. Food for thought.