Grace by Design

Share Some Good Advice

2014-11-09T15:54:00.000-06:00

"Hey! Whatcha got for me? Share some good advice!"

Great greeting! It was motivating, challenging, and engaging. I was asked to share some good advice.

I just came from church where my husband preached about blessing God, seeking Him, and trusting Him when we are in the midst of struggles and trials. We sang in church about glorifying God in our lives, our church, and our hearts. I intended to have something sage that would bring a zen-like explosion of epiphany to his and my day. I intended to use a profound quote that I have read or at least pinned on my Pinterest account. I intended a lot of things. Unfortunately, what came out of my mouth was: "Try not to punch anyone in the face."

Yes. That, my friends, was my wise advice.

"Try not to punch anyone in the face."

Let's sink in how "Get off my lawn" that advice is. As I was shaking my head and once again asking God if He drank when He made me, I was even more convinced that the Holy Spirit in constantly doing a facepalm because of me. Then He did a mini-miracle. I realized that it wasn't such bad advice after all. Stay with me. Seriously. Just try to stay with me.

1) You are responsible for your own actions. Getting to the point of wanting to punch someone in the face may be inevitable or even uncontrollable. However, how you respond when you get there is your choice. You have to own how you react to your surroundings and your situation, especially when they push you to a corner, to the place where you can lose control. Try to maintain your wits about you. Keep those balled fists by your side. Don't follow through on that white-knuckled emotion. Own it. If you follow through on that punch, it is because you made the choice. No one raised your hands up and punched anyone for you. No one MADE you do it. You CHOSE to do it.

2) Your feelings are valid. Your anger and frustration are valid. There is a reason why you feel that way. You were probably wronged. You were probably hurt. Heck, you were probably absolutely ticked off. That's valid. Just because you don't punch someone in the face doesn't mean your feelings are invalid. We all experience that. Jesus experienced that.

3) Walk away. They may deserve countless punches and to even be knocked out, but it's okay to end the fight by not engaging in one. Don't get me wrong. There's a difference between running from a fight and walking away from one. It isn't cowardly to step away from the situation to get better perspective. When your emotions are overblown, walk away. You can still stand up for yourself without having to throw a punch. Sometimes, there's a better tactic. That's when you pray, you seek counsel, and you gain perspective.

Try not to get punched in the face. It may not be the most eloquent advice. It may be awkwardly from the hip, but that was what came out of my mouth. God may not perform magnificent miracles for me, but I'm glad that He performs little ones that turn my blunders into blessings.

As for that guy who asked for my advice, lucky for me, he laughed and said, "Yeah. That's a good one."

Real Women Have Curves

2014-11-08T16:51:00.001-06:00

So I haven't written for quite some time. I also haven't exercised. Yes, I'm a horrible lazy person. Actually, I'm not, but thanks for even THINKING about agreeing. I mean to write, like I mean to wake up at five in the morning and risk injury to shuffle my feet in a fast pace up and down my street. My neighbors would probably peer through their curtains and mumble, "Bless her fat little heart."

So, yes. I have curves. They say: "Real women have curves." Well, that obviously makes me a really, really, really, really real woman. REALLY. I'm not Jaba the Hut obese, mind you. I can get around without slithering like a slug and drooling over the site of cheesecake. ... Okay. I don't slither around like a slug.

I found out recently that a few of my gal pals have lost weight. I'm not talking about a few pounds here and there. I'm talking about "looking-great-make-you-a-little-jealous-and-want-to drown-your-fluffy-sorrows-in-a-pint-of-Chubby-Hubby" GREAT! So, I'm motivated. I even looked at myself in the bathroom, and gave myself a pep talk. Yes, I really did. Then, reality sank in.

This. Is. Really. Going. To. Suck.

I had to say it out loud. "This will suck, but you need to do this." I need to do this for my health, my kids, and my budget. (Hey, fat clothes can get expensive.) I need to do this for my self-esteem. I need to do this, because my children are inheriting my bad habits. No. Chocolate is not healthy breakfast food.

So, if I begin losing curves, which I really hope to FINALLY do...does that make me less of a real woman? Nope. It just makes my curves less dangerous.

Bring Back Whom?

2014-05-24T11:27:00.000-05:00

So here we are, after the hashtag selfies #BringBackOurGirls, we've decided to put baby in the corner. Forget the bath water. It's the acid test that needed to be thrown out with the predictability of our society. As I punched in the characters in search for news about the girls, the results were dwarfed by the coverage of the Kardashian-West wedding. Yes, we are more concerned about the nuptials of egotistical megalomaniacs than the plight of nearly 280 girls who long to be home with their loved ones. Yes, let's put those babies in the corner...at least after the wedding.

It's been more than a month, and our fickleness has nearly erased any indignation and interest for these girls. We are more enthralled by mothers of the brides with boy toys than we are of those who cry each night, kissing the pictures of their missing children. Perhaps, we've assumed that our government has everything handled. Perhaps, we think that Boko Haram isn't mistreating them in any way. No. They probably aren't being starved or mistreated or abused. At least they shouldn't be while Kim tries to fit her popular posterior into a tight, expensive gown.

When the story surfaced of the girls abducted by the militant terrorist faction from Chibok, Nigeria, we erected the hashtag that became synonymous with support for girls rights. Now, it's become a painful reminder of social media selfie superficial advocacy. #BringBackOurGirls branding peaked among trending hashtags, then it trickled down. However, regardless of our lack of interest, events are still unfolding in the pursuit of getting the girls home. There have been outpouring of aid from humanitarian organizations (Malala Fund, Girl Rising, Amnesty International, etc.), and countries have offered intelligence and other vital information in contribution to resolve this hostage crisis. On May 20, Nigeria formally sought for sanctions against the Boko Haram from the United Nations Security Council. Activists in Nigeria are proactively working, tirelessly, to pressure the government and anyone they can get to bring a quick yet safe resolution to this tragedy.

Perhaps, it's logical that those who are busy working in the backgrounds on behalf of these girls aren't concerned about overpriced weddings. Most of them, mainly the mothers, just want to be able to give their daughter one. These girls weren't interested in the spotlight or fame; they just wanted to be educated. So, as we wave away and dismiss the tale of those kidnapped girls, the reality remains for many that it is all too real. Perhaps, it's time that we put away those selfies and hold up a mirror to ourselves.

#BringBackOurGirls Makes Me ...

2014-05-09T10:38:00.000-05:00

Unless you are a Luddite or have abstained from media, you have more likely seen the #BringBackOurGirls campaign. Pundits, politicians, and even pinheads have opined on the kidnapping of nearly 280 school girls by the Boko Haram terrorist group. While I applaud the concerted efforts and activism of many to bring indignation and resolution to this travesty of human rights, I find it all, well, sad.

It is sad that prior to these abductions, these girls were anonymous to the world. Their struggles were not a thought in our preoccupied minds. We were not aware of their plight and passion for education. We were oblivious to their dreams of being more and achieving more. While we were seized with super-sized conundrums, they were envisioning personal accomplishment only afforded by being educated.

It is sad that social media is fickle. There is what others refer to as an “acid test” to determine the sustainability of a story to hold our interests. For one thing, I’m glad to take a break from the glut of selfies and feline fixation that bombard my screens. However, this isn’t a slow news week. It’s a long, hard road for these girls.

It is sad that disillusioned men who supposedly serve a mighty God would prevent and oppress others, preventing them from using their God-given gifts. These girls were aware of dangers in seeking an education; yet they were courageous. I often gripe about the glass-ceiling when these girls are surrounded by concrete obstacles.

It is sad that we expect to be heroes, when these girls need allies. There is neither a theatrical happy-ending nor a marvelous character to swoop in and save the day. You see, heroes are temporary. They go away after the lauds and euphoric climax. Allies stay. They work with you, stand by you, help you, protect you, and commit to you. These are OUR girls, and they should remain OUR girls.

Please, don’t misunderstand. I, by no means, am flogging the efforts of this campaign. We all want a positive outcome: seeing these girls returned, unharmed, and soon. The girls, ranging in ages 12-15, are the same age as my oldest. My daughter is intelligent, ambitious, creative, kind-hearted, courageous, and gifted. She goes to school. She excels in school.

Then, I think about those girls who also encompass those characteristics and the cruel, heartless transgression against them. I think about how I didn’t know about them until now. I think about how I was more concerned about whether a super-sized order of fries would fit into my diet, instead of fitting more activism and awareness into my world. … So, I must confess, that it doesn’t make me sad. It doesn’t make me feel guilty. What it does is get me pissed…enough to be involved and stay involved. #BringBackOurGirls

I Used To Go To Church

2013-11-06T13:25:00.001-06:00

As a Christian, it is expected for us to have some form of fellowship, to attend church. Sunday morning, we rise, put on clothes we've planned to wear, take a leisurely drive, greet friends and perhaps family, and take our seat in the sanctuary. We are ready to receive God’s message in song and sermon. For many, thinking about that ritual is met with indifference, rejection, or resentment. We appreciate the gesture, because we know that many invitations are given from a caring place. We acknowledge it, and place it in the peripherals of our concerns (if we don’t all together discard it.)

“I used to go to church.”
Most of us have heard this sentence. Some of us have even uttered these words. We used to go to church, often as children with our families. At that time, we had no choice but to pack into the car in our Sunday best and sit through Sunday School, Children’s Church, and the service. There were times when being in church was fun, and we had friends. There were other times when you contemplated the point of getting up on Sunday morning to sit through orations, when you could be lounging at home in your pajamas and catching up on old “Tarzan” movies. That was in the past.

“I just stopped going.”
I just stopped going … because I went away to college…because I got a job and had no time (or interest) in going to church…because I didn't see the point. So we stopped going. For us, there wasn't anything significant or alluring enough to bring us back to the fold. We preferred the lifestyle we had to the superficial sanctity of Sunday soirées. For us, God wasn't real enough to be a part of our real lives. We didn't see him work enough the way Sunday school had built Him up, miraculously manifesting in the lives of people in the Bible. We can’t see Him. We can’t feel Him. We can’t hear Him. Yet, we are supposed to be devoted to Him in blind faith. It isn't enough.

“I've thought about visiting.”
But I didn't dwell on staying. It’s like going to the movies, and we get caught up in the stories. But we know at the end, we’re back in our world, and our emotions, hopes, and wishes scroll away with the credits. We sit there telling ourselves that we’re not moving because we don’t want to get caught in the crowded exodus from the theater. But in truth, we’re not moving because we've been moved - emotionally, spiritually, and we need a moment to get our bearings. In that seat, we can wallow in the story a little longer, but as soon as we rise to leave, each step takes us closer to the bills, the job, the people, the responsibilities…and we would rather hurl ourselves into the screen than crawl back to our lives. We only want to visit church (not stay), because we think that church doesn't follow us out of the sanctuary.

“I don’t believe in church anymore.”
We don’t see how a good God can allow such horror in this world. We can’t grasp why a benevolent Being would allow bad things to happen to good people. We see others around us who religiously get up every Sunday to hear what God will do in their lives, when we haven’t seen Him do anything in ours. What it boils down to is that we don’t believe in church anymore, because we never felt that the church believed in us.

So why should we bother to invite people to church? After all, we expect the polite (and often awkward) excuses, rescinding our offer. It’s the agreement to take us up on our offer that surprises us. Well, we do it, because, at one point or another, we've thought, uttered, or heard those phrases. We get it. And we realize that if we had not come to church, we would have forfeited the abundance of blessings in being part of a fellowship.

We want people to enjoy the relationship we have with others. We want them to experience the joy of selflessly bestowing blessings on others, and being blessed in return. We want them to know that there is a place where they can take a breath and lay down their burdens. We want them to see that it isn't just about stocking up the good things that happen to us, but also not wallowing in the bad. We've known what it’s like to be disappointed, to face hardship, to deal with trials, to overcome tribulations. But we also know that joy comes from being grateful for the good and not spit about the bad. We've all been angry with God. We've all questioned God. At one time or another, we've also abstained from God. We get it.

So why do we bother going to church? Well, because we realize that all the reasons why we stopped going weren't good enough to keep God from coming. When God is silent, He speaks to me through someone in church. When I’m drowning in a whirlpool of life issues and I don’t see God’s hand, He reached out to me through someone in church. When I don’t think God is real enough, someone provides because he felt God wanted him to do something for me. When I don’t understand God, someone reminds me that faith is what matters.

Church isn't perfect, and the people in it are far from perfect. But it’s the perfect place to deal with the reasons why you don’t want to go to church. You may not get the answers you want, but you might just find the blessings you need. No matter what you decide, you can always count on this: We get it.

#YouBelongHere

I've Got Beautiful Babies

2013-09-18T21:32:00.000-05:00

I'm a proud mother. I think my children are bright, brilliant and beautiful. Well, most mothers think and say that about their own children. However, over the past years, I've been made aware by some people that there is something extra special about my children. You see, there isn't a place where we go that one person doesn't comment on how beautiful they are. I guess being the mother of three girls, that's really positive. Seriously. Why would I want people to stop me to tell me my kids are ugly?

However, a few weeks ago, we ran into this woman in the produce section of a store. She commented on my kids, asked if they were "mixed" and if my husband is white. I said yes. Then she talked about how beautiful my children were, especially one of them because she looked the "whitest." Seriously. I wanted to shove an apple into her mouth and kick her into the tomato stand. I earned my polite badge that day.

What strikes me is that some people, ask me if my children are "mixed." Yes, they are. Their father is Caucasian. He is whiter than white on rice. (I'm Filipino.) When I answer affirmatively, it seems like my children increase their "pretty factor," as if God has divinely worked His Photoshop magic in my womb to grant me and my husband beautiful bi-racial daughters. I guess I should be flattered, and I am. But it bothers me a little that some people are fixated on my children being bi-racial.

That got me thinking, though, that many do consider bi-racial children as more beautiful. And I began to wonder why. Is it because they're lighter? Is it because, in my case, they don't have the typical Filipino features (dark skin and flat noses)? I've even had one person tell me that I should be so proud that they're white. White? And I hear many tell me that my children are beautiful, because bi-racial children as so beautiful. Well, I'm sure a number of them are beautiful, but not because they're bi-racial. I suspect it's because their parents' DNA fused together to form attractive features. Listen, I've seen some pretty ugly bi-racial people, so I doubt it's just because of THAT.

Listen, if you ask me about my children's ethnicity or their father's race, I'm not going to be rude. I'm proud to be married and to have bred with a white Southern boy. But children aren't beautiful because they're mixed. They're beautiful, because that's how God made them. So while I'm flattered by the compliments about my children, being bi-racial is a product of their parent's union not a pedestal for their worth.

But I'm a proud mom. I'm proud that my children are beautiful, because they are kind and compassionate. I'm proud that they are brilliant, because they work hard. You see, those come from their parents too. It's not from our race, but our values. They have worth because of who God made them to be, not what color He mixed in his celestial Photoshop. So, yeah. I have beautiful babies. I'll give that woman at the store that much. But I'm stocking up on apples.

Twerking Twits and Village Idiots

2013-09-08T15:15:00.002-05:00

SOURCE: http://skreened.com

I know I may be a few weeks too late, but it doesn't matter. I still have plenty to say about this. You see, I did not watch the VMA, because I knew that I would only be disgusted. However, my news sources were bombarded with these images, and I decided to check it out for myself. I wanted to form my own opinion, thinking that it probably isn't THAT bad. It was.

And in my opining, I've had people tell me that I'm overreacting and asked "what's the big deal" about Miley. Before I answer that question, let me inaugurate this suspected passionate and perhaps discourteous sentiment on the contentious matter. ...

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. I may not agree, but I will respect your right to have one and still love you despite the differences of opinions we may have. Having said that, these are why I am mad and disgusted with Miley Cyrus and the other idiots:

In our home, there is an intolerance for idiocy. We understand that there are villages who need one and keep one out of tradition, necessity, or other reasons. However, in this home, a village does NOT raise our children. We, the parents, do. And in this household, this family, we hold and teach values that tell our girls that they do not need to dress provocatively, to act vulgar, to be hypocrites (singing or talking about being a strong woman then dressing in chains, bonds, and thongs), to base their self-worth on how "sexy" they are. No. In this house, we value strength - of family, of self image, of mind, of spirit, of faith, of character. We aren't perfect and don't claim to be. But we are decent. So in this household, we don't need idiots like Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and many sad, sad others. In this household, we are raising strong, intelligent, brilliant women, not sad little girls who are desperate for attention. That is my role as a responsible parent.

1) As a responsible parent, I should never be apathetic or ignorant to my children's milieu, positive or negative. It is my job to foster influences that enable them to be successful in their faith, careers, family, and self. It is also my job to thwart any negative influences that will prevent them from that success and strip them of their dreams and assurance that they are whole, just who they are and who God made them to be. It is my job to provide them the foundation that their worth isn't in materials, in boyfriends, in appearances, but in who they know themselves to be. And it is my job to show them that they are marvelous.

2) As a responsible parent, I should be diligent to provide them a childhood. It is my job to try and maintain our children's innocence for as long as we can. We want them to believe in miracles, to wonder, to laugh, to question, to learn responsibility, to be shocked at vulgarity, to not be callous to debasement, and to be children.

3) As a responsible parent, I should teach them the difference between what will fill them with self-respect rather than eventual self-loathing. That comes from learning that hard-work, strength of values and character, a plethora of support from those who genuinely have their best interest at heart, and having the foundation that builds character, not Twitter followers or YouTube hits. That is my job.

4) As a responsible parent, I should show them that what may be popular is not what's necessarily right. It is my job to teach them it's okay to work hard, to take the road less traveled, and to go against the flow. I find the last to be ironic. Because while Miley and all those idiots talk about how they are going against the flow, they are really just going along and meandering down that muddy water. But I will teach my children that they can stand on their own, because they have the strength and foundation to stand up for themselves.

5) As a responsible parent, I should give my children, at times, what they want. You see, they wanted to watch Hannah Montana. They wanted to purchase Hannah Montana clothes, jewelry, music, and other paraphernalia. I bought it for them. I also watch the show and movie with them. Having watched her progressive moral decline, we warned the children that our household will no longer be fans of Miley Cyrus. However, I hoped. I hoped that her parents would step in or that she would halt and become, once again, that person whom my children can love again. Instead, my hopes were answered by stoned bears, plastic underwear, and twerking of a mediocre-looking older man. My heart was broken, because my children's hearts were broken. They understood why they no longer should love Miley Cyrus, but that doesn't mean they didn't want to continue loving their Hannah Montana.

Furthermore, let me just say that Robin Thicke isn't off the hook. Because rather than honor his wife, he embarrassed her by allowing this foolish Miley to debase herself on him and with him. While I understand that the "show must go on," I would expect a decent man to apologize. Instead, he's continued to communicate that it's okay. It's okay to call a "good girl" a "bitch." It's okay to demean and exploit these twits and glorify "skankiness." But I think that Robin and his likes deserve skanks, unfortunate for his lovely wife Paula Patton. Because real men don't need twerking or blurred lines. They already have integrity and honor.

The Dark Side

2013-09-08T14:41:00.000-05:00

My husband asked me the other night why I insist on keeping the bathroom light on. I shrugged my shoulders, embarrassed to admit my real reason, trying to think of a clever one. It has nothing to do with being able to find the bathroom in the middle of the night. Though, it helps keep me from going through the wrong door to tinkle and give "water closet" a whole new meaning in my house. When I accidentally fall asleep without my night light, I wake up in a panic and stumble through my bedroom to turn on the light, my ray of shining security. On a side note, I realize that you often find that lost pair of earring when you stumble in the dark. So, I finally admit that I don't like complete darkness. I never have since I was a child, and I have not outgrown that phobia.

I guess the main reason why I don't like utter darkness is because I can't see what's in front of me. I'm afraid of that pitch blackness that surrounds you when any source of light is nonexistent. It is that place that is completely devoid of light, and you know that you have a choice to either stay where you are or find a way out. You stretch your arms in front of you half hoping that you find something to grasp and half hoping that you don't. I guess this is also a good time to reveal that I'm also afraid of clowns, and if I ever stumble into a clown while in the dark, I will scream and cry like a little girl while channeling my inner Jackie Chan and trying out every Kung Fu move I've ever seen in the movies. Okay, so I have two phobias.

To me, light has a way of dispelling my fears and providing that assurance that all is well, even if falls in the dim periphery of that small source of light. I may not be able to see everything, but even the smallest glow can provide the biggest assurance. Perhaps it's that way with God. When you are walking and stumbling in complete darkness, you hold on to anything. You don't get a clear view of what it is. You just hope that it won't bludgeon you with his huge clown shoes. But when you see the light, you know that there's hope. It provides better perspective and a better glimpse of the things we hold on to in the dark. And with that light, we are given a choice. We either let go of whatever it is in our grasp or let go. While it gives us vision, it also takes away excuses. However, in that sense, our source of light is greater than a sliver. It is an infinite source of power, but strangely allows us control of how much or how little we let shine into our darkness. It casts light on all you imperfections. Perhaps, it's that fear that surpasses our fear of the dark. We are more afraid of seeing how we are in the revelation of light than we are stumbling in the dark. Once again, we have to make a choice. In that choice, we either cement that phobia in the shadows or cross it off in the light. As for me, I'm afraid of the dark.

Oh Y'all Ain't Ever Gonna Believe This ...

2013-08-01T21:56:00.001-05:00

I admit. I've been a little lost. I created this blog a few years back and had no clue what to do with it. Do I blog about food? But that would mean I have to cook a lot. I like to cook. I like to bake. I just don't like doing it when I feel like I HAVE to do it. So do I blog about my family? Well, on one side, my family is freakin' hilarious. On the other side, I like some modicum of privacy. So do I blog about politics? Well, after all, I was a newspaper gal and am a self-professed news junkie. But let's face it. There are a lot of idiots out there who have plenty to say about politics and more than eager to shove their views in your face in the most obnoxious way. I don't like idiots. I really dislike obnoxious idiots even more. Then I had an epiphany.

You see, I went to this pretty awesome conference called "Y'all Connect" dealing with corporate storytelling in our social media/digital world. In that conference, I met this feisty, sassy, foul-mouthed, cheeky redhead named Erika Napoletano. She had me at the "No Bitching" disclaimer. If you are offended by cussing, then she would not be your cup of tea. Me? I don't care if you cuss, unless you're lewd, obnoxious, and do it in front of my children. Actually there's research that state those who cuss tend to be more honest and direct. I myself have a "Potty Mouth Jar." I'm not perfect, but I also haven't gone broke from feeding that jar. But, I digress.

So about this redhead, I knew she would be funny and vivacious, but I didn't anticipate her being convicting. As she spoke to us about brutal honesty in our storytelling, she also asked, "Why do I do what I do?" The answer, she said, was because you have no alternative. In other words, if you're not passionate about what you do, then do something else. The same goes for writing, especially blogging.

Aside from my children, I love telling stories and teaching others how to tell their stories. If there are techie things involved, that's a bonus. Now I joke that there are two ways people begin stories. In most places, you have "once upon a time." In the Deep South, where I live, y'all have "oh, you ain't gonna believe this."

So here's a paradigm shift, if you may. You see, the most amazing story I can ever tell and help others to tell is about how wonderfully imperfect I am and how amazingly perfect God's grace is. But I believe the church is becoming irrelevant, especially with Digital Natives. To reach people, you need to go where they are. Let's start with getting social. It isn't about culture and tradition. It's about discipleship. To begin with, you have to listen to their stories. That's the only way you earn the right to tell yours.

So here it goes. Oh, y'all ain't gonna believe this...

My Current Game Addiction

2012-07-17T11:50:00.001-05:00

I've been addicted to this game, Entanglement - by Gopherwood Studios. The concept is pretty simple, really. Your goal is to match the hexagonal tiles to create the longest and most intertwined path. While you are working your way through this maze, you are treated with a backdrop of a zen garden and probably the best soothing music I've heard. You'd probably fall asleep if you weren't so focused on creating your path.

Each tile can be rotated to carve the path you want to take. Some are straight lines, while others meander throughout the maze. Be careful, however, some tile lead to a dead end. Then game over. What is wonderful about this game is that you cannot only be strategic on your current tile. You cannot plan ahead. However, there is a second tile you can try if you are not satisfied with your current one. Sometimes it helps; other times you're better off with the original.

We can pretty much look at life like this game. You want to take the best path, but there are times those paths are not the ones that are straight. Sometimes you have to make U-turns or take an alternative route, but it's pointless to plan from the beginning to end. You never know what comes next or where it will lead you. What is refreshing, however, is that the dead end isn't such a negative concept. When you're done walking your path, you're done, and you see the rewards of where you have been.

Unlike the game, however, we can't "play again." We need to make the most of where we are now, try make the best decisions, and learn from the bad ones. I guess it's easier if we were all playing alone, without our paths being entangled with others' paths. But in the end, we are only responsible for the decisions we make and paths we take.

'via Blog this

On Eating a Treat with Feet

2012-07-02T11:35:00.001-05:00

I wrote this for Associated Content before they were taken over by Yahoo!. Now I can't get into my account. I've contacted them but haven't gotten a reply on how I can access my account. You see, my email is with ATT/Bellsouth, which is now affiliated with Yahoo! So when I try to log into the former AC account, it brings up my Yahoo!/ATT/Bellsouth account. Thus preventing me from accessing my AC account. Frustrating! Anyway, I just wanted to post it so I would have a record of it. Enjoy.

On Eating a Treat with Feet - Yahoo! Voices - voices.yahoo.com:

'via Blog this'

When God is Absent

2012-07-02T09:46:00.001-05:00

My friend Rev. Ian Aitken does a Webcast sermon. I particularly like this one, because it talks about when we feel like God's spirit or presence is absent. We have all felt like we are in a spiritual exile at one time or another. We have felt discriminated and humiliated. When we need God the most, where is He?

Ian's sermon on Psalm 42 and 43 on Vimeo deals with David's depression and desperation in longing for God's presence in the midst of exile. What I like about Ian's sermons is that he doesn't just brush over this issue, but he delves deeper, giving us plenty of spiritual meat to chomp on for quite some time.

"Where do you think God is?" He asks. There is a refreshing honesty and humility in his sermon. After mulling over many aspects of emotions, inner turmoils, and possible answers regarding the Psalms, he shares, "Here's what I know to be true, that in Jesus Christ, God came to a world that was lost and dry and broken."

Perhaps that's why God seems absent when we desire Him most. In His silence, He speaks to us and identifies with us. He may not be there is the way we want, but I have faith that He is there in the way that we need.

Oh yeah, and Ian's Scottish accent is pretty cool. Follow him on Vimeo.

'via Blog this'

Oh, Nora...

2012-07-01T16:01:00.003-05:00

Check out this link to Nora Ephron's best film moments.

Hey, Check Me Out!

2012-07-01T15:42:00.001-05:00

Guess whose tweet made it into "The Library News"? Yep. I've started to write for Examiner.com as their "Libraries Examiner" for the Birmingham/Alabama region. I've been writing for some blogs (check the list on the right) regularly and local publications occasionally, but I needed to get back into a regular routine as a freelance writer. Actually, my husband wants me to stop piddling around on Twitter and Facebook so I could finish one of my three books in the works. Yes, that's a goal. I need to finish one of them before the end of the year. This is a start.

Bookish Moments From Nora Ephron Films (VIDEO)

2012-06-30T22:43:00.001-05:00

Have I mentioned how much I love Nora Ephron?

Bookish Moments From Nora Ephron Films (VIDEO):

'via Blog this'

It's On Purpose

2012-06-30T11:43:00.003-05:00

This past Thursday, I had the honor of sharing with the Birmingham Public Library Board in their monthly meeting. It's a great opportunity to not only keep in touch with those in leadership positions at the library, but it's also a great time to exhort those who are present to reach for their passion and live for their purpose. Don't get me wrong. I don't live my purpose every day. Actually, there are many times I wonder if I'm even walking in it. However, I know that every day, I have that blessed opportunity to "be the change you want to see in the world." There are days I fall flat on my face and do the exact opposite. But there are other times when I feel God smiling and giving me a pat on the back. I think this past Thursday, I got that.

Here is what I shared:

One of my favorite movies is Chariots of Fire. (Okay who started thinking of the theme song as soon as I mentioned that?) But in the movie, Eric Liddle, the Scottish missionary was torn between his sense of duty in serving God and his passion for running. He was also known as the Flying Scotsman. There is one scene when he is speaking to his sister and he opens up about his love for running. He tells her "When I run, I feel His pleasure." And of course, he won the gold for the British in the 1924 Summer Olympics.

I also believe God has a plan and has put us here on Earth for a purpose. God has given each of us gifts, heart, abilities, personality, and experiences. Rick Warren in "The Purpose Driven Life" wrote:

"The moment you were born into the world, God was there as an unseen witness, smiling at your birth...bringing enjoyment to God, living for His pleasure, is tthe first purpose of your life."

There is no such thing as just a job or just an appointment or just a position. But there is such a thing as a calling, as a purpose, as a service to do what God has called you to do. And He asks that whatever we do, in word or deed, to do it all in His name. So that we can know the pleasure of God with us.

Let's pray.

Dear Heavenly Father:

Thank you, on behalf of all who are gathered here today for your many and abundant blessings.

I pray this morning for our board members and our associate director, and director. I ask that you would graciously grant them:

Wisdom to make decisions regarding this library system

Personal peace in their professional and personal lives

Joy as they continue their day

I pray for the agenda set before them today. Please give them guidance and an assurance of doing your will.

In your most blessed Name I pray, Amen.

I would really encourage my BPL colleagues to share their words, thoughts, talents, or whatever it is that God has put in you when He created you. I encourage you to share with those in leadership and others who would benefit from being inspired by you. If you have a poem, recite it. If you have a song, sing it. If you have a devotion, share it. Be the change you want to see in the world. Encourage our leaders, our director, the board members, and fellow staff. You don't know how you can touch a person's heart until you share your gifts.

Nora Ephron Dead at 71

2012-06-28T13:00:00.001-05:00

Birmingham Public Library: Nora Ephron Dead at 71: Most people remember When Harry Met Sally, the quirky romantic-comedy that dealt with the ever-lingering question of whether those of the opposite sex could be “just friends.” We learned, in this case, that they could start off as friends and become more. And when Harry professed his love to Sally by telling her that he loves that she takes an hour to order a simple sandwich, it left many women saying “I’ll have what she’s having.”

I LOVE Nora Ephron. She was spunky, bright, funny, and a pretty darn good writer. I was hooked the first time I saw Silkwood.Yes, hooked on Ephron and Meryl Streep. But Ephron came out with When Harry Met Sally, and I just could not fake my enthusiasm for her writing and movies. With Streep, Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks, and Jack Nicholson as part of her film posse, how could I resist. I'm sad that she died, but I'm glad to have "met" her.

Get Puzzled

2012-06-28T12:52:00.001-05:00

Birmingham Public Library: Get Puzzled: Being puzzled may not be a good thing, but in this instance it may be. This post has links to kid-friendly sites with puzzle games. I think I just might visit some of them...to try them out for the kids, of course.

PrometheanPlanet

2012-06-13T12:36:00.001-05:00

'Find the gift and, whatever it is, nourish it!'
"Basic skills and specialised subject skills must obviously form the foundation of students' learning, but it is using those skills in creative problem-solving activities that lie at the root of motivation, determination and eventual success."
PrometheanPlanet

Happy Mommy's Day

2012-05-11T14:12:00.001-05:00

Being a mother is the best "job" in the world. But let's face it. There are times when it can really suck. It's a selfless job, but one we wouldn't trade for anything.

So Mother's Day is Sunday. It's that one day that husbands and children are required to appreciate us for what we do. Asking them to recognize EVERYTHING we do would, I believe, result in some catastrophic, mind-blowing epiphany from which they may never recover. Yeah, we mothers are actually THAT awesome.

Let me just say that not every woman is a "MOM." Birthing a child may techincally make you a mother, but you're not a MOM unless you know there is nothing in the world you wouldn't do for your child. It is that absolute knowledge and assurance that your heart will never belong to anyone else but your children. They come first. Their happiness and safety are your priority. And you cannot fathom life without them nor recall life before them. Biological or adopted. It doesn't matter. It's magical.

But there are other things that might remind us (perhaps, more than we would like) about being a mommy. You know you're a mom when:

1. You reach in your huge bag and usually find a half-eaten snack. In my case, it's usually sticky.
2. Having a lukewarm coffee or meal is the norm, though it does start off hot.
3. You are impervious to your own children's pee, puke, and poo.
4. You would rather have your child throw up on you rather than get it on the carpet.
5. You pack for an army every time you leave the house.
6. You have received a half-eaten something from your child's mouth in the palm of your hands.
7. Baby wipes are your best friend.
8. Your kisses are powerful at healing boo-boos.
9. Muttering to yourself is the norm: "WHY? I just frickin' cleaned this up!"
10. You have stepped on a toy that by glance looks innocent enough, but in the dark on the floor becomes a ninja weapon that leaves you in agony.
11. You've read "Good Night, Moon" many, many, many, many, many times.
12. You use the gift cards you get as presents to buy things for your children.
13. Sweats and yoga pants are your best friends too.
14. You cannot read, watch, or hear anything without thinking about your child or from a mom's perspective.
15. You realize that it's not about reaching your dreams anymore, but helping them live theirs.

Happy Mother's Day.

Kenny and the Rooster

2012-05-08T20:31:00.002-05:00

“Can you draw a picture on the blackboard when somebody doesn't want you to?" asked the rooster promptly.

"Yes," answered Kenny, "if you write them a very nice poem."

"What is an only goat?"

"A lonely goat," answered Kenny.

The rooster shut one eye and looked at Kenny.

"Can you hear a horse on the roof?" he asked.

"If you know how to listen in the night," said Kenny.

"Can you fix a broken promise?"

"Yes," said Kenny, "if it only looks broken, but really isn't."

The rooster drew his head back into his feathers and whispered, "What is a very narrow escape?"

"When somebody almost stops loving you," Kenny whispered back.

― Maurice Sendak

Memories of Maurice

2012-05-08T20:17:00.001-05:00

When my first child was a few months old, I introduced her to a world with untamable energy and limitless imagination. It was an exciting world. It was a magical world. It was a wild world.

She met Max, that precocious child who was sent to his room without supper. After all, what was his mother to do when her “Wild Thing” threatened to eat her up? As his room began to transform, the three of us took an odyssey together, sailing on a private boat to an exotic place. Though it may have been days and days, in and out of weeks, and almost over a year, we made it…to where the wild things were. We roared our terrible roars (or at least Max and I did at first), gnashed our terrible teeth, rolled our terrible eyes, and showed our terrible claws. And we sure had a wild rumpus. It was inevitable, however. Max was lonely. He wanted to be where someone loved him best. The wild things pleaded for him to not go, crying, “We’ll eat you up, we love you so!” Max said no and had to go where his supper waited for him, still warm.

Farewell Maurice. Thank you for the wild things and for tender moments. We could've eaten you up, you know. We really did love you so.

Help Keep JCLC “Keep It Alive”

2012-04-19T10:57:00.000-05:00

My car broke down two weeks ago. It was not a fun few days, not fun at all. It wasn’t that I didn’t take care of it or took it for granted. I just didn’t have the funds to properly keep it maintained. But when it broke down, I felt the loss of some freedom, and I suffered the pangs of being inconvenienced. I got it fixed, and I’m currently contently chugging around town.

It reminded me of another “well-oiled machine,” as one person had recently described the Jefferson County Library Cooperative (JCLC). It is a superb organization which links Jefferson County libraries, including 22 municipal and the 19 branches of the Birmingham Public Library (BPL) system. However, as most machines which lack the funding to put into it, JCLC is in danger of breaking down.

In 2009, JCLC began seeking and accepting donations in response to drastic budget cuts by the Jefferson County Commission. The next few years, as it received fewer and fewer funds, JCLC had to lay off employees and limit the services it provided. This year, as a result of the county’s bankruptcy, the Commission omitted JCLC all together from its budget, leaving the financially struggling organization to seek support solely from patrons and communities. Now, JCLC strives to “Keep It Alive!” with its most current fundraising campaign.

Since 1978, JCLC has worked to provide the best and most efficient centralized services for residents of Jefferson County. It is the “one county, one card” system that has made library resources convenient and more accessible. Let’s say you lived in Trussville and needed a book or DVD from BPL’s Avondale location. Rather than driving to the other library to get the material, you can request that it be sent to your closest branch. With the price of gas skyrocketing, that’s one service that I need. It’s also a necessary service for people who are unable to drive long distances

Not that my wallet is bulging with cards and cash, but I also like that I only need one library card to use in any of the libraries in the county instead of 22. I would have to buy another wallet just to hold those library cards alone.

I like having this “well-oiled machine.” I like that I can access resources from many libraries. It makes my life easier and saves me money for the next time my car wants to break down. There’s that saying: “You never know what you have until it’s gone.” Well, I’d rather not find out. I know THAT wouldn’t be fun at all.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T07:17:00.002-06:00

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! To get the party started, here's the Christmas Song from our SNL friends...

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

2011-12-24T13:56:00.002-06:00

The New Year is fast approaching, and many of us are procrastinating and dreading yet again the task of listing resolutions that we inevitably break within the first two weeks. So while perusing through the Web, I stumble upon a blog entry: 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. I was convicted and angered by all the things that I have allowed myself to do. Don't get me wrong. I don't do ALL the things on the list, but I say being guilty of more than half the list is an eye-opener. You also realize that when you hoard all these toxic issues, you don't allow room for the blessings. We often pursue what we should not rather than being still long enough for the positive things to meet you where you are. I am learning that the "right" job, the "right" clothes, the "right" car, the "right" mate, the "right" house, and other "right" things are nothing without the right attitude. That begins with ourselves. No matter how many blessings God bestows upon us, we will never truly love what we have if we don't love who we are. So this New Year, I think I'll add another thing to this list. I need to stop making resolutions and start making renovations-personally, spiritually, and professionally.

So, here are some words of wisdom from Marc and Angel Hack Life:

Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.
Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.
Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.