gracepilgrim

Frozen in Place on a Hot Day

2012-01-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

Being frozen isn't a very comfortable place to be. I grew up in the Midwest and since moved to milder climates. I remember the cold harsh winters of northern Ohio, especially the times when I worked as a hod for some bricklayers, including my late brother-in-law. Most of the time, we didn't work in the snow and really cold weather, but since it was feast or famine in that business, we worked when we could. I wore out many cheap pairs of jersey gloves carrying cement blocks and bricks and mixing mud with bone-chilled fingers. That job was one of my greatest motivators to get a college degree. Not that it wasn't noble work; we worked very hard and did quality jobs for people, took pride in our work and I learned important life lessons in those days. But, I didn't want to stay and had other ideas that required a college education. The winter days in Ohio, whether working, hunting, or playing brought on freezing cold hands, numb lips, cold feet, and slipping and sliding in treacherous driving conditions. It doesn't feel good to be frozen.

I've been thinking for some time about what it means in a metaphorical sense to be frozen in place. There are many ways to find yourself there: stuck in jobs, habits, behaviors, grief, regret. Those and other conditions can trap us for periods of time, and it always seems best that we figure out how to move on. There is another angle from which to view this idea of frozenness. I wonder how many times I myself have frozen other people in a certain place in time. I knew a them in our past, lost touch with them, and then reconnected. My first inclination is to perceive them just as I knew them way back when, 15, 20, 30 years ago. Since I've gotten onto Facebook, I've connected with a couple hundred people from my past. That's amazing in itself. While there is some criticism to be heard about the downsides of social networking, it's incredible to me that technology has made such far and wide connections possible. The first thing I notice is how friends' looks have changed. No great surprise, although sometimes a bit of an initial shock.

People change outwardly, but also inwardly. People grow. I've been impressed by the growth I've seen in friends and acquaintances who I may have secretly thought would never amount to much. What a judgmental attitude! Here's a great revelation: People are able to improve given the chance and some grace! I've been thinking how much of a mistake it is to not allow -- in own mind -- my old acquaintances to grow. I feel I've grown in many ways, and I think I rob others and myself a certain joy by not giving them a chance to do the same.

A judging spirit carries with it a natural ability to label, another way to say that we freeze people in place. Once a person does something that hurts me or disappoints me, it is easy to not allow them, in terms of my relationship with them, to get beyond that event or situation. They may well have grown, changed, and become better people and I just won't allow it in my own perception because of my own hurt and reluctance to forgive. This isn't an easy thing, this forgiveness business. But, I think the damage unforgiveness does to relationships is a great loss. I recently had a discussion with a many-years-ago acquaintance. We had recently renewed contact through Facebook. I made a comment on someone's wall and this person immediately tried to throw it into my face. I'm sure he figured "This guy is still just like I was years ago and hasn't changed." So, he judged me and condemned me without even really knowing who I was and had become to this point in my life. He froze me in time, in place, in character. Right or wrong, I let him have it with both barrels, not attacking him per se, but expressing my disappointment that he would make an unfair assessment of me and where I have come from since that earlier point in life. I didn't hear back from him and I'm not quite sure why. Maybe he just crossed me off as not worth the effort. I hadn't been caustic, just direct. In fact, I only defended myself by pointing out to him how I had been spending my life and I have been quite different from the stereotype he seemed to want to cast me in. The sad part to me is that we could have had a healthy dialogue and respect for one another, appreciating and discussing differences that exist without anger and accusation.

Reading John the gospel writer's story about a woman Jesus met drawing water from a well seemed to parallel my recent thoughts about this topic. I don't want to quote it here, you can read it yourself in his fourth chapter. This woman evidently had quite the reputation. Guys loved to sleep with her, so she married them, and eventually either she or the guy dumped the other. She did this five times. At the time of her introduction to Jesus, she had evidently given up on the idea of marriage and was just sleeping with a guy. The fact that she was drawing well water at noon is telling, a hot time of the day, certainly not the sensible early morning, cool-of-the-day event that most women participated in. She was alone. I imagine she wasn't welcome at daybreak with the other women, maybe some of them victims of her indiscretions, possibly having lost husbands to her lustful advances. A bit of reading between the lines, but not a stretch. The village of Sychar was a great place for everyone to know the business of everyone else.

So, her presence among the others was not appreciated. This is a really great story John tells. There is so much to glean about the character of this Jesus I am learning to follow and how graciously he treats people no matter their place in life. I would like to focus though for a moment on this woman's frozen condition. Hot as it was in that part of the world, she was in a very cold spot. Any reception she would have experienced from the townspeople (unless they were men eyeballing her as eye candy with benefits) would have been accompanied by icicle-like stares. It was cold business being a loose woman in a hot little town. Thus, she was lonely at that well, on purpose, no doubt facing a future with the permanent label of the village slut. Frozen. Imprisoned in lust and time with no possibility for parole.

Then she met Jesus. You've just got to read the dialogue recorded! It's fascinating. The thing about Jesus was his uncanny ability to see past the face of things, quickly dispatch slight of hand obfuscations, get to the core of the matter, and show love like no one else you or I have known. He fielded her muddled attempts at dodging the important issues and deftly moved her to a place where she could thaw out without great shame and embarrassment. You see, we think that shame and embarrassing people is a good way motivate them, to get them to see the error of their sins and change their behavior. Well, that may work to change someone externally for a time, to get them to obey the rules for a season, but what it really does is drive their pain and brokenness deeper.

Guilt-tripping only extends the pain and really doesn't change anything in the end. What we know about Jesus is that he knows that guilt, condemnation, and shame do not grow people. Love does. Love changes people. Not the mamby pamby cowardice that masquerades as love, but the God kind of love. The love that has power to change, power to go as many miles as it takes to bring a person to wholeness. Sin is its own punishment. We don't need to pile on. The back-bowing weight of one's own mistakes and failures are enough. What people need is grace. People need to be loved out of their character flaws and brokenness. That, in my opinion, is one of the biggest mistakes that the Christian religion has made. Love with a hook. That is today's face of Christianity. But, it isn't the face of Christ. Jesus knows that the only thing that will change us is love.

And so, our woman at the Sychar well was frozen. Frozen in her own pitiful attempts at finding love. Coldly detached from hope of life being any different. Jesus was the big thaw. Jesus doesn't do what we do by nature. He sees the end from the beginning. He sees that person in view of their potential, the person that we label and hold some grudge against for something they said or did to us maybe years ago. We didn't see the motivation behind what they said or did then, and we find ourselves with little capability of letting them loose from the cage we've put them in. We lose and they lose. We say we forgive, but not really, and we freeze them in their past; they suffer from our unforgiveness, and our relationship continues to bear the pall of feelings lying just under the surface and coloring all our communication with that person.

This story about Jesus and the forgiven woman has two sides. She needed forgiveness -- which she received from Jesus, and the townspeople needed to forgive her. We don't know the totality of the story. But, we do know that when she went to tell everyone in the town about her encounter of love with the man whose name she didn't even know, one whom she was now believing to be more than just a man, they came in droves to hear him. And, John tells us that many in that town believed in him because of her testimony.

Did they also forgive her? Was she able after hers and their belief in Jesus to go to the well at daybreak with all the other women? We don't know the answer, but if I was a betting man, I'd put my money on the power of love and forgiveness and its ability to go viral quicker than any other reality of life.

Here's what I propose. I propose that you think about the people in your life, the good relationships, the bad ones, and the ones that always seems a little strained. Run your emotions through the grid of forgiveness. See if you've allowed yourself to freeze any of those people in their past, distant or recent. Challenge yourself with brutal honesty -- it's easy to kid ourselves. Be willing to take any part you've had in whatever level of cold war exists between you and them. Sure, forgiveness isn't the same as reconciliation. But, it's a start. And, if you can find the honesty within to own your part of the dysfunction, there may be hope. Or, just compartmentalize like most of us seem to have to do, and leave things alone. You can always put another layer of warm denial on and go your merry way. That's a pretty cold way to live though. Maybe Jesus can help, eh?

Nic at Night (Nic Gets Tebowed)

2012-01-21T13:33:00.000-08:00

A senator came to Jesus at night. You can find this story in the New Testament Gospels, John's, in chapter three. Nicodemus ... let's call him Nic - it's easier to spell ... comes to talk to Jesus. Now, by this time in his public life Jesus has managed to tick off a few people. He was pretty radical and stood up to the corruption, religious distortions and abuse of the leadership of the day. You see, Roman occupation aside, the Israeli government was religious, kind of like most Muslim countries today. The leaders are the purveyors of the religious system, albeit in this case, their laws are encased in and under the scrutiny of Roman governance, i.e., they are allowed to control the people as long as it doesn't conflict with Roman law.

So, anyway, Senator Nic comes to see Jesus. I call him a senator because that's my best shot at a parallel position in our American government system. He's a member of the "ruling council." Nic comes to see Jesus at night. That's significant. He seems to come representing some of his compatriots in the council ... but only some. His nocturnal visit is secretive. He's keeping this rendezvous from others' knowledge, but his opening line indicates that he probably volunteered to represent a group of curious leaders who are a part of the larger group. The larger group is likely ticked off and maybe even threatened by now by Jesus' public statements and actions. Temple merchants had been selling their trinkets in the temple. Jesus came by and cleaned their clocks, drawing the ire of the leaders, who undoubtedly benefited from this flea market. He was unhappy that they had turned what was supposed to be a spiritual, God-focused place into something mercenary and profit-oriented.

If you'll pardon a little rabbit trail here ... This bunch in the temple sounds like some church buildings we've recently visited during their Sunday morning gigs. It's my observation that, when the "church" -- which in New Testament scriptural terms is not a building, but a group of people who follow Jesus -- when that church becomes more focused on its building and programs than on its commission to reach and serve people, something goes haywire. It may take some time because these churches take on an inertia that seems never ending, and people love inertia, especially of the religious kind. The more talented its ruling council, the more talent to perpetuate the machine, the longer they hang on. It may take time before the wires go hay, but it is inevitable. They may continue to exist and God loves people, so he puts up with a lot of our foolishness, but eventually, the focus on keeping the machinery running rather than on what God is all about among us drags people down. The monster has to be fed and the people have to feed it. If there aren't enough people to feed it, we have to figure out more gimmicks, more "ministries," more whatever to draw more people into the fold who can help us feed the machine. "After all, if we can't keep the thing running, we can't do what we were called to do in the first place, can we?" So, the energy is directed toward upping the budget. That's abackwards. And, I think I just lost some readers of this blog.

Okay, back to the Nic at Night story. Nic comes to Jesus under cover of darkness because a number of his ruling comrades wouldn't like it. His opening line is "WE know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one can perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him." To which Jesus replies, "Why thank you!! Thank you for noticing. Yes, I am from God and I was hoping you could figure that out because of my amazing feats. You guys are perceptive. Would you like for me to come speak at your next conference? I'd like to show you how I do these things. In fact, I think I could teach YOU how YOU could do these things, and even greater things! What'dya says, boys?"

Okay, so I read between the lines. I did... right? You're correct! NO, I misread between the lines. Notice. Nic doesn't ask a question, although it's probably implied: "So, tell us Jesus, ARE you from God?" He doesn't say that, but that's probably what his cronies wanted Nic to pick his brains about. I can hear the conversation in back corner of the Jerusalem Boar Head Tavern. "He's GOT to be from God, right? [sip] No one can do these things if they're not, right?! We need to find out more. [sip, sip] Where's he headed with all this miracle stuff?", says the short guy. And, one guy says, "[sip] If he draws too much attention to himself, Uncle Rome isn't gonna like it. In fact, we may lose our [sip] jobs. [gulp]" Then the chap by the wall says, "But what if he IS from God? Shouldn't we be following him? or at least paying more attention to what he says?" Then, Nic says, "Okay, guys, I'll go. He's really got me curious. I gotta tell ya though, I think he's the real article." And, they bump their mugs together, "Agreed! [sip, gulp, gulp]

When Nic "asks" the question, Jesus doesn't bite. He redirects the conversation immediately. It isn't about the miracles. "I'm glad I've gotten your attention, but I didn't do all those healings for you. I did them for those who needed the healing. They hurt, I heal." (More in between the lines reading.) No, Jesus knows what these leaders are after, but doesn't talk about the miracles. He gets to the point. The point of his existence, the whole point of his arrival among us, the goal of his life. "Jesus, are you from God?" "Nicodemus, neither you nor anyone else will ever see this God you're asking about and his kingdom, his space, unless you are born from above, born again." Forget the miracles. You're on the wrong page. It's about new birth.

To which Nic replies, "Huh?" A little more eloquently than that, but the same effect. "How can a man be born when he is old." Surely, you're not talking about the Benjamin Button syndrome? "Surely he cannot enter his mother's womb a second time!" !! ... !! ... !! (Nic's eyebrows). Jesus clarifies - or tries. "Here's the truth: no one can enter the realm of God's existence, his kingdom, unless he is not only born once, but he must be born again ... Of The Spirit." We're talking about spiritual things, things beyond what you can see, like the blowing of the wind, a natural phenomenon. To which Nic again replies, "Huh?"

Jesus essentially chides him. "So, you're a man of the cloth. You're a teacher of spiritual things?! Give me a break. You can't see what I'm talking about?!" Notice where he now goes with this. Remember how Nic opened up this tete-a-tete? "WE know..." Jesus does him one better. "I'll tell you what's true. I'll tell you what's important to know here and now," in essence. "WE speak of what WE know, and WE testify to what WE have seen, but still you people do not accept OUR testimony" (my emphasis, obviously). Two things about this. One, the all hot-and-bothered senatorial wizards have had this marvelous revelation. "This guy must be from God!" Duh! Nico comes as their rep and lays this sanctimonious admission on Jesus. "Aren't we the cat's meow? Look what WE know." Jesus seems to rub this in. "Let me tell you what WE know, and what WE KNOW is true, apparently the very thing you people have been so totally dense about. I try to explain it to you with down to earth language ... the wind blows, you know. You still don't get it, do you?" Yes, he is from God. He's been with God, he IS with God and, (we eventually discover) he is God (a totally different topic for another time). "You want to know about God, about his realm, his "space," his way of doing things, these "heavenly" things. Jesus says point blank, "I've been there, I am there, and you can be there. Stop trying to wrap your mind around this. Open the eyes of your heart!"

The other observation is about who the "we" is. I think it's pretty clear in context that he is referring to his Father, the Spirit, the "Godhead" as theologians like to call it. Basically, he's saying my "we" trumps your "we." "We have seen what is real, the essence of reality, and that's what I'm talking about." Jesus now answers Nic's question and puts it in prophetic terms. Nic asks, "How can this new birth thing be?" Jesus predicts his death as the "Son of Man" and says in plain words that the new birth takes place when you see the significance of his death and believe in that significance, that there are personal implications at stake. "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son" (yes, Tebow's favorite verse). You believe that he did that so that you can enter this realm of God, this kingdom, this "heaven," really that you actually believe in Him, and you will have eternal life. Pretty simple, yet so difficult for so many to believe.

There's a bit more to this Nic at Night story, but that's the meat of it. The really cool part about Nic comes later in John's account of Jesus' life. We see Nicodemus take a bit of a stand for Jesus when his cronies are getting ready to pounce on Jesus. He asks them to slow down before judging him too quickly (chapter 7). Not much more is said, but we do know his comrades don't listen and go as far as insulting Nicodemus. Later, at the end of the Gospel of John, after the death of Jesus, Nicodemus gives a huge hint that he has crossed over into belief. He shows up with a friend and claims the body of Jesus to bury it. This time in broad daylight.

God Among Us

2011-10-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

...When God came to be among us he didn't come as a mathematician or a scientist. He came as a story teller... And he told stories people could live. At bottom, the Judeo-Christian tradition isn't a list of rules or a set of scientific theories; it's a big long story... But Jesus didn't stop with stories; he also gave us a way to authenticate them... he told us that you tell whether a story is true by the lives of the people who tell it. You judge a story by its teller. You will know them by their fruit, he said. A good tree bears good fruit, a bad one bad fruit. If the people telling a story love each other and live together with depth and grace, then their story is true. If they don't, then their story is silliness -- or worse. A good story enables people to lay down their lives for each other and become one. To put it in Jesus' own words, "I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." A few chapters later he prays that his followers "may be one... so that the world may believe that you have sent me." A story is authenticated when the people who believe it go to the cross for each other. ...Notice that Jesus doesn't require belief in his story simply on the basis of authority... evidence mattered to him: here's how people will know that you are my disciples, here's how they'll know that I'm from God -- that you love each other.
~ John F. Alexander, The Secular Squeeze

Worshiping My Common Sense

2011-06-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

Susan hooked me on Oswald Chambers book, My Utmost for His Highest. Good stuff for a guy who died about 100 years ago.

He was talking about having grace for today and commenting on Paul's second letter to the Corinthians. All of it good. When he quoted the portion of the chapter on "having nothing," I was struck by his take on being poor, or in need. Verse 10 says, "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything." Chambers comments: "Never reserve anything. Pour out the best you have, and always be poor. Never be diplomatic and careful about the treasure God gives. This is poverty triumphant." That doesn't sit well with some of my friends, I am sure. I didn't with me. Who wants poverty?! God doesn't ask us to be poor, does he? I don't think he does, even though some are, and we are called to alleviate suffering, pain, and dilemma where ever we can. Look at Jesus' take on this though: "Blessed are the poor [in spirit] for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." I've got to tell you, to honest with you, sometimes my reaction to some of the things Jesus said is laced with incredulity. If he was just some "plain Joe" (sorry to all you awesome Joes out there! nothing personal!), I'd think he was off his rocker. But, this is Jesus we're talking about. He turns things upside down so often and catches our minds off guard to help us see what is really important. This "poor" saying conveys a pretty amazing attitude and there are a couple takes on that truthful saying of Jesus. But, in a very real sense, our concern for our own need can be converted into an orchestrated mission toward blessing others.

I think what Chambers is saying is true. We are not as blessed when we hold back what we have. What God pours in, we pour out. Like the story of the widow in the Hebrew Bible. She poured out oil from the bottom of the jar and it never ran dry. Her task was to give all she had and God kept pouring back in. The picture painted of her was one of poverty, but she always had what she needed for her family. Jesus said something like, Give and it will be given back to you many times over what you gave. Chambers goes on with regard to "guarding" what we have and not allowing God to be our guard. If we try to guard ourselves and our possessions, we remove ourselves from God's deliverance. He says, "The most devout among us become atheistic in this connection; we do not believe God, we enthrone common sense and tack the name of God onto it. We do lean to our own understanding, instead of trusting God with all our hearts."

I wonder how many times we mask our stockpiling with our common sense. We have such common sense reasoning to keep us safe that we aren't able to help others because of it. We remove ourselves from His deliverance and provision and worship our own wisdom. It's a hard lesson to learn, one that I'm still suffering some pain from. I could say a bunch more about the mental gymnastics and pain I've experienced with this over the years, but I'll spare you.

My prayer is this: May God grant me the grace to never be "diplomatic and careful about the treasure" he gives me.

All That Thrills My Soul

2011-06-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

There are a few devotional songs I learned growing up that have great meaning to me to this day. This is one because it expresses to the core my relationship with my God. I always wonder what people who don't know Jesus think about when believers in Jesus write about these things. Nuts? Delirious? Wacked out? I care in one sense about that because I only wish that they could know he is real and know him intimately. Otherwise, it really doesn't bother me. I care a whole lot more about what Christians do to misrepresent this God of such amazing love. But, I covered some of that in a previous blog entry on judgmentalism. I'm not surprised that many don't believe. I only wish they could know him. Anyway, here's the old song. Some of my ole Jesus believer friends will know it and smile with me. :)

All That Thrills My Soul

Who can cheer the heart like Jesus
By His presence all divine
True and tender, pure and precious
O, how blest to call Him mine

Chorus
All that thrills my soul is Jesus
He is more than life to me
And the fairest of ten thousand
In my blessed Lord I see

Love of Christ so freely given
Grace of God beyond degree
Mercy higher than the heavens
Deeper than the deepest sea

What a wonderful redemption
Never can a mortal know
How my sin, though red like crimson
Can be whiter than the snow

Every need His hand supplying
Every good in Him I see
On His strength divine relying
He is all in all to me

By the crystal flowing river
With the ransomed I will sing
And forever and forever
Praise and glorify the King

2011-06-27T09:25:00.001-07:00

To My Keepers - Thoughts from Dad on Father's Day

2011-06-20T10:08:00.000-07:00

Last week, our daughter shared with us that a high school friend's mother passed away suddenly ... well, it actually took about a week, but it was still sudden. There was no indication that she had been ill as far as we can tell, until this event, some freakish unexpected illness. Mom was there last week and gone next week. As my daughter read about this to us on her Facebook, she started to cry. I started to choke up a bit and said, "Let's make the best of the years that we all have together, okay?" Life is short, no matter how long it is. Too short to hold grudges, cast blame on others for our unexplainable insecurities and cause years of unnecessary separation, too short to not stop in to see that friend or single parent or neighbor we often forget to pay attention to. How about those elderly around and among us? How lonely they can get! "Life is too short to major in the minors," one of my mentors once said.

I posted what follows below on the kitchen refrigerator for my family not too many years ago. The kids were teens at home (one is still at home but will be out of the teen years next week). I never did get much response from them ... obviously a time when their minds were on vacating the premises in one way or another. But, I thought it was a good thought to live by, so I posted it this week again, and thought I'd share it on my Facebook Wall. (I think I may have gotten the core of this from something I read online, but I don't remember where.)

"One day a woman's husband died, and on a clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more 'just one minute.' Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away ... never to return before we can say goodbye, say 'I love you.'

So while we have it ... it's best we love it ... and care for it ... and fix it when it's broken ... and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage ... and old cars ... and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hips and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make us happy no matter what.

Life is so important, like people we know who are special ... so we keep them close!"

You're a Keeper!

Love,
Dad

Here come da judge

2011-05-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

"Here come da judge." Remember that schtick from the old 60s Laugh In comedy show? (I'm too young to remember it. Someone told me about it. Titter, titter.) Ever felt that way about people you've known? You know that at some point your conversation is going to turn into a session of that person being critical and judging your actions or motives. You almost don't want to have a conversation with them, or at least avoid bringing up certain topics. Don't you just hate that? I wonder sometimes if I'm that guy. Man I can be so quick to judge people! In fact, I wonder if what has come to be known as Christianity isn't the living incarnation of "da judge." I know some of my non-Christian acquaintances see it that way.

Well, I'm a follower of Jesus, and these days, sad to say, I wonder how much being his follower relates to at least the public persona of Christianity. As a "disciple" of Jesus, I am quite obviously interested in what he has to say about a host of subjects. Judgmentalism is one of the big ones. Sometimes, I think it has become synonymous with Christians these days. I see/hear that topic on blogs, Facebook, or in face-to-face conversations and people rise to red-faced anger quicker on that subject than any other I know. "Who are you to judge me?!" I hear non-Christians say that to Christians. I hear Christians say that to Christians.

You know, I think there are good reasons for judgmentalism comments I hear. Having someone make a judgment call on our decision, lifestyle choice, or mistake quickly drills deep into the psyche, the spirit. All of us are broken at some level, visible or invisible. We all react to our brokenness in our own way. Some of us deny it. Some of us deny that we are anything but divine, and so therefore, just can't be broken, just unenlightened. Some of us avoid facing it. Some come clean and seek help. Some turn to Jesus, the one whom I've discovered is amazing at untwisting us, healing our wounds and damage.

Back to the question. What about it? Who ARE you to judge another person?

I really like Jesus. Seriously. He's so practical and down to earth and to the point. My friend, Penni, quotes Gandhi on her Facebook page, "I don't hate your Christ. I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ." Owie. If I'm going to call myself a "Christian" or at least a follower of Jesus Christ, I think I need to know him more. I need to know what he has to say about this issue.

So, I'm looking at one of the sources, the Gospel of Matthew, chapter seven, and here's what he says about this. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the same measure you use, it will be measured to you."

My first question is, what does it mean to judge? In many ways the Greek language (the original for the New Testament) is much more precise than ours. For instance, there are three or four words for love. Agape, phileo, eros. I guess we're just so efficient in English that we have all-purpose words. We just say, "love" ... and let you figure out what it means. "I LOVE that cake!" is different from "I love you, my friend!" or "[husband to wife] I LOVE you ... Baby!" "For God so LOVED the world that he gave his son." "Greater LOVE has no man than this..." Different words. It's the same here in Matthew. There is more than one word for judge. Krino, diakrino, anakrino. One means to discern, one, to evaluate. One means to make a choice or a distinction. Here it means "to pass judgment" or "sit in judgement." To be the judge over another's character. To set yourself up as the judge of someone's character or motive. A "critical spirit."

Jesus is urging us, Don't do this! This setting oneself up as the judge of one's character or motive can start with one critical statement. "Look at her. Like SHE needs to eat that dessert." "That kid is NO GOOD. He'll never amount to anything." Jesus cautions us. "Don't do that. Go easy on the people God has placed in your path." No only do you tear down and destroy a part of a person, but ... listen to this [I'm pausing for effect] ... a critical spirit can boomerang. What goes around comes around. "In the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the same measure you use, it will be measured to you." Give THAT a second thought. Downright frightening.

Here's the upshot. You don't see the end of the story. The end of that person's story hasn't been written. NEWS FLASH. You are not God, the Judge. Stop acting like it. You don't know how God is at work in that person. I've heard people say something like, "I was fighting you on the outside, but inside something was stirring, listening."

Look at the rest of this. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?" Let me tell you something straight. Your problems, the problems in your character, your "issues," are much more important to deal with than someones else's. I like that saying, "When you point a finger remember three fingers are pointing back at you."

Do you know why the stuff in the other guy's eye looks like a speck to you? Something that should be easily fixed, with a little effort? Because you're not close enough to really see what's going on inside that person. You're too far away -- even IF you are standing right in front of them. You DON'T KNOW WHAT GOD KNOWS. It may very well be a plank-sized problem, but it's just none of your business.

The other reason it looks like a speck, i.e., something different than what it really is, is that you have a dang board stuck in your eye -- obscuring your vision. You can't see accurately because of your own "stuff." Let me take it a step further. You can't understand what's in another person's heart (eye) because you are a human being with weaknesses. Not only do you not have the insight, but you don't have the strength to stand in judgment over someone else. You're not God... right?

Go easy on people. You've needed slack, so do they. Does that mean you can't help them. Of course it doesn't mean that. But, you know what? I don't think we are ever "plankless." As soon as we get the plank out, another one slides right in behind it. Our vision is always at least a bit impaired. We never have enough insight to stand in judgment over someone, to cross them off. How often do you cross people off, judge their character, think less of them because you've judged the end from the beginning? I think Jesus might be pointing us back to our "Father who sees in secret" (Matthew 6). Ask God what, if anything, you can be doing to partner with him in that person's life. If it doesn't come clear to you, go back to sawing your plank. And, pray for that person. And, don't tell anyone else. "I want to tell you about Ezzy so you can pray for her." Did you see the operable word, "secret"? A good reason for that. Look what Jesus says next. "You hypocrite." It's like he's caught us red-handed. "Ha! Caught ya!" I think he said that with a little grin on his face. [Rumor has it he loves us even in all our foibleness.]

Do you ever wonder why you feel a need to judge others? Why do you worry about it? I'm not gonna get very far into that. But, I do think that Jesus' whole emphasis in this part of his teaching in Matthew is that God's gonna take care of things, including you, including that person you are so anxious to peg. (Read the verses just prior in chapter six.) Why do you worry about this other person? God's got your back ... as well as that person's. Don't worry yourself over this other guy. You've got enough to deal with yourself ... today.

Well, I suppose that's all for now. There is a bunch more, but I see someone coming down the road, and need to hide. It's da judge.

Call me crazy. That's okay! (or, Some Things I've Learned About Life)

2011-05-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

I've been working through some things in my life and mind that I want to put on paper and share. These are things I know about myself and about my God. If you are not a believer in God, or Jesus, you might be interested in reading this anyway. Most people who don't believe in God call me crazy. Let me chronicle my craziness. I am a follower of Jesus ("Christian" carries some pretty strange un Jesus-like connotations these days), and as his follower, I can say these things with confidence:

I am God's child. He has done something amazing in me that is born of grace and love. Most believers in Jesus call this being "born again." It's hard to explain sometimes to people who don't believe this way. That's fine though. I find it's best to live what I believe and let my life do the talking. Someone said, "If you can shut up, shut up." That didn't make sense at first. I'm beginning to understand it. I don't need to bark out my beliefs. If I can live who I am in as real a way as I can, I hope to live a life far more transformed and powerful than living by someone's religious obligations, some person's or religion's or church's idea of what I should do or not do. Doesn't make sense to you, you say? That's okay. Come walk beside me and we'll learn all about this God of love together.
I know that Jesus chose me. I don't know how to tell you I know this. You can read about it in the source material, the writings of and about him. But, something pretty amazing is happening to me that is changing me and making me into something I've never dreamed of being. Something good. You don't see it? I'm sorry. I'll just have to keep walking this journey and maybe someday soon it will become evident and we'll get to share life in some really deep and wonderful ways. For me, though, it is a voice of truth. No, I'm not hearing voices in my head. (My atheist friends say that. *Sigh*) It is a reality that I am growing into. It is a spiritual change, a life that is growing inside, a peace that goes beyond anything I can begin to understand... You see! I told you it was hard to explain!
I am learning that I am protected by the power of God. I am secure in his love, in my relationship with him, and it isn't based on my performance, my conduct, or my behavior. I have enough weirdness and quirkiness in me that I know doesn't commend me to any secure standing with God. People who know me, who are closest to me, can attest to that. But, I am learning that I am secure in my heavenly Father not on the basis of how I respond to life's trials and difficult times. I am secure in Jesus Christ, because of Jesus Christ, because of what he has done for me (and all the rest who will embrace this amazing God). I am secure in Jesus on the basis of his sacrificial, all sufficient death on the cross and his resurrection. Yes, I DO believe in that. Call me crazy, it's okay. I just cannot deny that it is real. The moment I let him into my life, as I said above, something new took place. I know that in some real way God assumed the responsibility of protecting me. It isn't a matter of me holding on to him -- because in my weak faith often I might let go -- but he holds onto me. I am protected and secured in him. So, when all evil breaks loose, and I don't know what to do, one thing is certain: God is holding onto me. Pretty weird, eh? As much as my "Christian" friends want to try to explain it and say it is perfectly explainable, I don't think they can. It's just beyond comprehension how an individual person can know these things. I guess you still think I'm crazy, loopy. It's okay. Once you step beyond the intellectual barrier you've put up between you and God, I think you'll understand what I'm saying. And that would be so cool for me to see. {wink, wink} But you know, when you find something really good, you always want to share it, right?
If you know anything about the life of the patriarch, David, chronicled in the Hebrew scriptures, maybe you can see this next thing I am learning about life and God. His life speaks to me in this way: He learned some awesome truths about God by making mistakes, by failing, as well as by being faithful. He learned wonderful things about God in fear. Yep, in fear. Now I'm not talking about being afraid of God -- that's another misunderstood idea for another time. David learned some awesome truths about God in fear, as well as in courage. He learned about God's love, his faithfulness, his grace, and how near God actually is to us, about life, and how to handle life. My point is that he learned these things while he was afraid, as he worked through his fear, as he kept hanging in there with God, as he kept believing in this God. His greatest moments and deepest insights didn't come necessarily while he was this courageous, bold "man of God." I saw that David "repented" when he realized he was wrong. He wasn't afraid of being humble, admitting his errors. In all his weakness, he was still okay with God and God was okay with him. In fact, centuries later, as his story was retold, he was still referred to as "a man after God's own heart" in spite of his failure and weakness.
Another thing I'm learning about God comes to me from a friend. Something he shared I have come to embrace. He was talking about the passage in John's gospel, in chapter 14, where Jesus is preparing for his arrest and ultimately his death and he tells his followers some pretty important things. Just like you would probably do if you knew your days were numbered. He talked about "his Father's house." I'm gonna make this shorter than it could be and say what I believe is that Jesus is talking about isn't heaven, but he is talking about the life his followers, those who believe in him, will experience in God. He is talking about being at home in God. I am now embracing the reality that I am to wake up everyday being at home in my Father, in God. I know each morning that this Father delights in me. He is at home in me and I am at home in him in spite of all my fears, all my doubts, with all the things I am still tempted to, and with all the struggles and failures in my life. This God on this day wants to be at home in me. My friend has said that if we will live there, that's where everything happens that transforms and changes us into the best of what we can be ... and I believe him.

So, you still think I'm crazy, a loon, hearing voices? Well, some of my friends tell me I'm crazy, but not for the reasons you might be thinking. Okay, here's a challenge: If you are at all interested in the things I have written but don't get it, or you have a hard time understanding this kind of thing, or you really don't know that you believe in God, my challenge to you is to ask him to show himself to you. Seriously?! Seriously. Don't chicken out. If you really would like to know whether or not God is real, and whether or not he is like what I have described in this blog, just ask. Sincerely ask him to reveal himself to you. I guarantee you, I know enough about God to know that he wants to reveal himself to you, and that he will. Or, just call me crazy. I'll still love you.

T + P = MC

2011-04-22T10:39:00.000-07:00

James, chapter one is about going through tough times. He starts out with some advice that sounds pretty wacky: "Consider it pure job, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds."

Seriously?! When EVER do we do this?! This is an oxymoronic request if I've ever seen one. There is nothing joyous about tough times. So, you’re sick. “Yay! I’m sick!” Uh. No. No “Yay.” You’ve been slammed with financial trouble and you’re supposed to rejoice about it. Right. “While you’re at it, please poke me in the eye and chop off a finger, please. I can’t get enough of this ‘joy.’”

I don’t think this is what James is after ... as though we are to be unrealistically optimistic or Disneyland giddy about our dire circumstances. I think Eugene Peterson captures it well when he translates it, “Consider it a sheer gift...” No trial or time of testing is wasted time for us. Besides surviving and getting through it -- which is usually our only focus, naturally, I think James wants us to see at the front end the real value of our difficulties. There is a dimension we can live in that takes some focus in order to gain value. Testing your faith develops something good: maturity and completeness, or as The Message puts it, “mature and well developed, not deficient in any way.”

Really, having a mature outlook and perspective is reward enough. I find that when my outlook is mature, I don’t freak out as much when the next big thing hits. (Watch me make a liar out of myself next time :) ) God has gotten me through this before, we’ve been here before, we can handle this one, too. Yes, it’s a bit more serious this time -- maybe a lot more -- but we can do this thing. You see, hard times - smack downs - aren’t an indication that God is on holiday. And, that’s the real crux of the issue. We are tempted to think that God has abandoned us -- that’s the “testing of our faith.” Faith says God told me he wouldn’t abandon me -- Jesus said as much. Faith says God does care, God is here, he’s able and willing to help me work through this and come out stronger and more mature.

There’s a very good reason beyond ourselves that maturity is good. Maturity helps others - the less mature than you, the younger than you, the weaker than you. Mature means you are out ahead of someone. As you learn the navigation issues through these particular waters of testing, you will chart a course for someone else, someone right behind you, or someone in the future who will face a similar circumstance. (I think that part is exciting.) This isn’t a matter of superiority as though you will now be able to gloat or best someone, although that seems a common human tendency.

Speaking of, I’ve known people to do this. If they’ve ever had any situation similar they’re “all over it.” Instead of offering a compassionate, steady hand, they’re quick in one of two ways. One is the you-think-you’ve-got-it-bad syndrome. Or, it’s “This is what you SHOULD do. I’ve been there. I KNOW. Or, they’re good at both. Maturity comes along side rather than dispensing auto responses. Maturity offers to walk along side, if only for a season. It says, God loves you, you’re gonna get through this. How can I help? What do you need that I can offer? … and it may not be advice.

To me, the whole value of this maturity-through-trial thing is that we come out better lovers of people. We are loved through a hard time, by God and others, and it is natural that we now know how to love others better.

So, James says, whenever you face trials of many kinds (or one kind), see the gift in them. Hard to do. Very hard to do, especially right in the middle of them. But, the benefit is worth the effort.

There’s one other element here that is part of the “formula.” Now, I don’t like formulas for Christian living. I don’t think they work. People write "how to" books on the Christian life -- I have shelves full of them -- and they don’t work, as a friend of mine says, because if they did people wouldn’t keep writing them. (Look for my big sale on Amazon.) Living in God’s love isn’t about formulas, it is about relationship. It's about living loved by God and loving others -- relationship. That said, what James lays out for us does fall out as an equation of sorts. The testing of your faith develops perseverance. When perseverance is “finished” we find that we are more mature, more complete, that we have everything we need to get us through this thing, to come out on top, to thrive. Testing + perseverance = maturity and completeness. T + P = MC.

It’s also funny how he says this. The testing of our faith develops perseverance and “perseverance must finish its work.” It’s as though perseverance is something outside of us, a thing that is at work. It’s a very passive way to say this. You might expect to hear something more like, “You must persevere if you want to get through this. Don’t give up or...” (or else). That’s not the language. Perseverance is doing something TO us. It’s working to mature us. He almost personifies it. What I’m discovering is that as I hang in there with God, acknowledging he is right in there with me, that he will get things worked out as soon as they need to be. This “trial of faith” is doing a number on me. It’s good number though. It’s “a perfect 10.” I do what I know to do, use the resources at my disposal, and … wait. I know that I am loved by a Father who loves me more than anyone ever has or ever will. As I grow in the realization of his affection and care for me, trusting him is natural. Trust is the moment by moment outcome of my always-increasing confidence in his affection for me.

He does this work. I slip my hand in his. He walks me out of the messes, most them of my own doing. Through every painful trial, perseverance must finish its work. I learn to sit still while perseverance works on me, while God works on me and in me. Really, it’s a matter of rest, of resting. And, I didn't say doing nothing. Rest doesn't necessarily mean inaction. It may, but it may also mean continuing to do what I am doing. As I rest in the reality of his love, the more I find that I am trusting him and not my own agenda for my life. That’s the difference between me grunting in perseverance and allowing perseverance to do its work. I’m really allowing God to do his work. Didn't Jesus say, “Come to me and I will give you rest"? He's saying, Your work alongside me will be restful.” If I don’t come to him, I find that I am laboring in my own strength, wallowing in my own agenda. I like how The Message relays Jesus’ words, “What I’m trying to do is get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving.”

You see, this is so much like God. He works best when we are content in him. In fact, the New Testament writer, Paul, says as much when he says, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” Being like God is to respond to him and life with contentment. If I'm not content, then there is something to learn about his love that I haven't yet learned. He is enough. His love is enough. Resting in this reality is allowing perseverance to finish its work. Jesus grows my trust right through the middle of my mess. He continually frees me from focusing on what I don’t have and turns my attention to him. He is the author of grace and trust. He is sufficient.

The testing of my faith develops perseverance. Perseverance finishes his work, and I grow, and lack nothing I need for life. T + P = MC.

Life in the Family

2010-12-07T19:56:00.000-08:00

What does life look like as we live loved by our Father and live that life out with other believers? A friend recently observed that a healthy life together as believers in Jesus should not be an obligation; it should be irresistible. In my experience, as well as my understanding of the scriptures, there could be no truer perspective on life in "the Body." If we see fellowship as something God creates, not as something we conjure up, what could be more irresistible than something our Creator has come up with? ... Did you catch that? Let's try it again: What could be more irresistible than something our Creator has provided? You DO see the operable word in that sentence, right? Our CREATOR. He has loved us with this unimaginably creative love. He IS love and so, his love is intrinsically creative. And, if God loves to see us relating among one another in healthy ways -- and he certainly does, don't you think we can count on him to bring people into our lives with whom we can do that? Man, I do! Lord knows, we've screwed it up a million times over the centuries. Maybe it's time to get out of the way and trust this awesome God to do his thing. It IS time. I would like to suggest that no human effort can produce the Christian community that we long for. It is God's gift to us, his provision.

Try these realities on for size ...
As we are learning to live in God's love, we realize that HE is our source -- of life, of freedom, grace, love, all that we need. If I don't feel like I need to get from you what I am already getting from Him, I don't need to put expectations on you to provide those things. As I said in the blog on Freedom last time, I am freed from the need to manipulate others for my own well-being because I am totally accepted by and in a relationship with a Father who loves me, who has my back, and provides for me. I don't need you to do that. He may very well provide through you something I need, and that's great, but it is him providing it, not me grabbing for it. There is a big difference. He frees me from being preoccupied with getting and grabbing, and is teaching me to relax in what he is giving. (NOT an easy lesson.) I accept what he gives from wheverever he gives it. He may be giving you to me to walk alongside for a time for mutual support, friendship, and relationship, and that's great.

Do we NEED each other? In one sense, no -- what we NEED is him. Does he give us one another to share our life together? Absolutely. We will inevitably find our lives intertwined with other believers coming alongside them for a season and others coming alongside us for a season. Sometimes, what I need is exhortation -- Thank you, God, for my sister who gave me the right exhortation at the right time! Sometimes, I need encouragement and God sends you to encourage me. I accept that and we walk together in that time of encouragement. Every once-in-a-while, some good person who I know loves me steps up beside me and says, "Uh. Skip? Skip, what WERE you thinking?" Thanks, my bro, I needed that. Thanks, God for sending my bro for some clarification. Sometimes, what you need is ... MONEY! A JOB! I can help with that, how about you?

The best journeying-together study from the New Testament that I have done is searching through the "one another" phrases in the first century letters to believers. I actually did this about 10 years ago. It really messed with me. You know: Love one another. Exhort one another. Pray for one another. Give to one another. Be kind and tender hearted to one another. I think there are 20 or so different "one another" phrases in the letters to the first century believers in Jesus. I tried to plug that stuff into my churchy mentality and it didn't work very well. (More about that later, maybe.) You see, the "one anothers" are all about relationship, not programs or any other kinds of organizing. And, that's what those historically closest to the source were all about. People who had seen, touched, and walked next to Jesus.

You see, the difference I'm realizing is that Christian community is not based on need; it is based on the sheer joy of sharing relationships with fellow journeyers. We modern, institutionally-minded people have our compass set in a pretty weird direction. Jesus' life flows FROM each of us into the body, not the other way around. Whenever I try to get from the body what I am not finding in Jesus, I am actually substituting it for Jesus. And we all know that serving something that isn't him is "idol worship." Asking the body to be what I really need Jesus to be for me is to make an idol out of it. I bring to my brothers and sisters the life I am experiencing in God. That's how we flourish together. It is his life flowing from us to each other that brings our strength and effectiveness. This is a far cry distance from a group of weary, bleary-eyed Sunday morning people sitting through a Sunday morning concert and motivational speaker workshop... like a group of hungry birds waiting for someone else to pour some life into us ... the life that we need to be getting everyday on our journey with the Father. (Time to BBQ some sacred cows? Anyone for a little cow tipping?)

Back to the one anothers ... When I began to study the preponderance of these phrases in the New Testament a number of years ago, the realization came over me that being the church wasn't about meetings, buildings, programs, events, etc. BEING the church was about family, relating, loving, sharing, giving of our lives to one another. I discovered that the family images and metaphors of our life together far exceeded any other picture of what body life meant.

This study started a revolution in my mind of what the church means. Here's what gets me crucified every time. I started to see how our structures, organizations, and institutions actually work against the one anothers so evident in the life of early believers. I told my wife the other day that it's like the old trying to "fit a square peg in a round hole." Every large (large is relative) church structure I know of and have been a part of that wanted to make at least an attempt to be faithful to this aspect of new life in Christ always struggled to make this happen. Why the struggle? Usually because the sheer size of the mechanism made it impossible. So, what do these folks do? They try to organize people into small groups. AND ... one of the problems is that it becomes forced. It doesn't work very well. Even when they pound out in their public meetings the importance of relating to one another on a small group level, their very structure belies the truth. They have spent scads of money, time, and effort attracting people with their flashy programs, buildings, and "ministries" that it seems a paltry and even hypocritical effort to now say to people, "You really need to be a part of these small groups we have put together for you." Some even go so far as to say, "If you really want to grow in Christ as you should, you will invest your time in a small group" or something like that. Most of us are so used to the big gathering being what we call "having church," that we don't know that there is no such thing in the scriptures as going to church. Since we don't know this reality -- even with a pastor-type person telling us, "Folks, we ARE the church" -- for us, going to a "service" IS being the church. I've never heard anything so schizophrenic.

This God journey is all about relationships. Our relationship with him. Our relationships with one another. And, you see, what is evident from the New Testament is that their life together was defined by their relationships with one another, not their meetings or activities. Their life together was not marked by programs, services, activities, outreaches, etc., but by their love one for another. Did they have problems? You bet your bottom ... dollar. That's pretty much what the letters to the early groups of believers was all about. Helping them sort out this life together they had discovered in Jesus. The New Testament writers taught them a lot about learning to love each other unselfishly and practical ways to serve one another.

In reality, of course, none of us have it all together, and many times we do feel like we NEED to be with others who seem to be on top of it. Sometimes, we are too wounded to offer much of anything to others as we gather. I think that's when the life of Jesus flows from others into the body to bring wholeness. Even so, the most effective help to give is to learn to point each other to Jesus, not get others dependent upon us. So many people feel a need to "minister" because they have some sort of gift and they have this hankering to foist it on others, aka "having an outlet for their gift." That's the least effective focus, I think. The most effective kinds of gatherings that I have been a part of are not times someone has some "need" to minister or "exercise their gift." The greatest benefit comes when we share the life of God with one another in response to where each of us finds ourselves at any particular time.

You know, that brings to mind another realty of life together which really is the rockbed of our ability to relate to others. You cannot love others if you don't know how you are loved by God. Brings us right back to the reality of being loved, doesn't it? That was the whole point of Jesus' "new commandment" in John 13: A new commandment I'm giving you, Jesus said, love one another. "As I have loved you, so you must love one another." So, does this mean your task then is to read all about how Jesus treated people and then go out and mimic that behavior. I don't think so. I think Jesus was plainly saying, you can't love until you are loved. You can't love well until you are loved well. You can only love to the level that you know you have been loved by the Father. When you know how much you are loved by this Father, you will love others well. Until then, you won't know how to love. It's a reality of living loved. That's one of the main reasons real fellowship is irresistible. People who have been SO LOVED are great lovers. :) Knowing how much I have been loved by this awesome God just spills over into loving others in very practical ways.

So, that's it for now. Life in the family. Learning to live loved. Learning to love. Learning to serve. Learning to point one another to Jesus for the answers to our perplexities. Learning to listen to God together. This is what he has been showing me.

Listening

2010-11-09T08:08:00.000-08:00

I am preparing my blog entry on the next installment of the Living Loved series. The next one has to do with sharing the journey with others who experience Jesus. I'm not quite ready to share that one ... still ruminating. It'll be a good one {wink, wink}, so stay tuned!

I do want to say something today about listening. Actually, I have quite a lot to say about that topic. But, I will start with something I posted to my facebook page and test the waters to see if anyone is listening to me first :) ...

"I think listening WELL has much to do with listening to a person's heart. We go into conversations too often with preconceptions about the person, never having really "listened" to them before. And, because of our drivenness to get people to "move on," we often already have a solution for those we are "helping." Have we contributed to their healing? Maybe. But, maybe we've given them a band aid without cleaning the wound."

We like to "fix" people, don't we? We are fixated on fixing. Is that really our job though?

Skip

Freedom!!

2010-10-20T21:52:00.000-07:00

Living loved by God leads to trusting him; trusting him leads to freedom in so many important and delightful ways.

(So, here's the deal. I'm working through some really life-giving stuff that I have been growing in for the past several years. It starts with learning to live loved by God, living in the affection of a heavenly Father. Trusting God is a natural outcome of that relationship of love, and it frees me in some pretty exciting ways. I can then share in some fantastic life with others who have discovered this God of love, as well as those who haven't discovered him ... yet. :) So, its' Love-trust-freedom-others-witness. That's it. I've written about the first two. Just in case you need to go back and catch up.)

Living loved by a Father who accepts me with such amazing grace and actually changes me by his love is what I am all about. I have discovered that God removes all condemnation and shame and has no use for them in our life together. He doesn't use fear and manipulation to change me. None of those things contribute to my growth -- never have. Living loved by this awesome Father naturally leads to trust and I'm learning how that trust leads to freedom. I've discovered that he's got my back. I don't need to grab for myself anymore. When our children were little, we read a Berenstain Bears' book that talked about the "galloping greedy gimmes." You know, Gimme this, gimme that. Greed, a selfish by-product of mistrust, is a weakness so many of us struggle with. And, we mask it sometimes with such noble or "spiritual facades." But, that's a tangent for another blog.

As I grow in the reality of our Father's love, I am discovering that the greatest freedom I get to experience is the freedom from being dominated by my own selfish desires and agendas. The selfish tendency to try to get things my way is a trap. My selfishness always hurts me and those around me. Depending on its severity, the ripple effect can be devastating. When I know how much God loves me, that he's got my back and is lovingly involved in my life at every level, I have no need to grab after the things he hasn't given me. Simple as that (...but not so easy to live all the time). Growing in trust leads to growing free from selfishness. I'm not so preoccupied with "getting" and learning to respond to what he gives. It's all about seeing him as my loving Father.

Living loved and growing to understand that God is taking care of what needs to be taken care of also frees me from being controlled by the opinions of others about me. If I have God's approval, I don't really need yours. Maybe that sounds a bit arrogant, but I don't believe it is, and I don't think of it that way at all. Of course we need each other. Of course, we don't get places in life if people think less of us than they need to. Living in the love of the Father though and growing in trusting him really does free me from that incessant, nagging worry over the opinions and expectations of the people around me. Get this. Really. If God approves of me, do I really need to worry about what you think of me? Park there for a few minutes. If I'm wrong about that, nail me good, okay?

I have found in my life that people do hurt me. How about you? Whether we mean to or not, we all can be hurtful to others. It usually arises out of our own selfish agendas. So, one of the freedoms that I've been learning to experience with the loving Father is the freedom to forgive. Wayne Jacobsen quotes Ann Lamott who says, "Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die." Unforgiveness hurts the unforgiving more. I have been hurt. So have you. So will you and I, I'm pretty sure of that. One of the blessings of knowing that God loves you so deeply and accepts you so thoroughly is that you don't need to be bound up by those hurts. You're safe now. You can release your forgiveness on people much easier. Forgiveness has a lot to do with taking your hands off the throats of those who have offended and damaged you. (Reconciling with them is a different matter.) Only when you know how totally forgiven you are can you revel in forgiving others.

There are other freedoms. I think the freedom from fear is a big one. Most people have been ingrained in this fear thing. We've been taught to be afraid ... afraid of God, the future, that we are on the wrong side of God, failure, being wrong. This is an area God is inching me out of, but do you know what the best part about this is? The best part is that God doesn't wait for me to be free from fear to invite me into his life. This God wants to be at home in me. He wants me to be at home in him, regardless of my my fears and doubts. He doesn't wait for perfection. He doesn't wait for me to get it, but moves in and woos me to himself. He joins himself to us "while we were yet sinners" as the letter to the Romans says. I would put freedom from worry right next the liberation from fear. Worry is a sister to fear. If God's got my back and I know where I stand with him at any moment in time, in other words if I know I am totally loved and accepted, I have no reason to be afraid. Awesome truth, 'tis!

You know what else comes along? I don't need to manipulate others to provide my well being. I am completely safe next to God. A deep sense of worth and well being come right out of our relationship with God. When we tie our sense of well being to what others do, we will always tend to manipulate them to get what we feel we need. People do this with churches. As long as I can get from my "church" what I feel I need, I'm fine. When it gets to where I'm not getting what I want, I will try to change it to fit my idea of what it needs to be... or I leave to find it somewhere else. Churches exist in a sort of mutuality: I "need" a certain kind of music, someone is there who "needs" to have people hear their kind of music. I "need" a certain style of "worship," someone is there who "needs" to lead in that style. I "need" to hear a certain kind of preaching, someone "needs" to preach in that certain way. I "need" a certain childrens' program, someone "needs" to provide that type of program. It's a mutual accommodation based on what I perceive as my needs, as a friend of mine describes it. As long as I love to have my back scratched, and you love to scratch my back, we're fine. As soon as one of us lets the other down, "we" are toast.

In a love-filled relationship with God and others, I don't "need" anything from you. I get everything I need from God. He may very well provide it through you, and he often does ... because he loves to see us loving each other in very practical ways. ("This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples -- when they see the love you have for one another." -- Jesus) I love that, too. Paul, the New Testament writer, certainly shows us how God gives gifts to "the body," including various forms of leadership. But, it isn't a matter of me trying to find what I think I need from others, or from you. You may need to hear what I have to say, but it isn't because you are looking to me to find what you need. You are looking to your Father who provides in whatever creative way he chooses (he is the Creator, after all!). We get the blessing of a really cool relationship because we are both living in a Father who guides us, and grows us in his life. Maybe I haven't described this as adequately as it could be, but hopefully you get the idea. We are free to rest in our acceptance by the Father. We are free from manipulation -- to not manipulate nor be manipulated.

The upshot all of this freedom talk is that I don't have to force the kingdom of God into reality and aliveness. My merely human effort on its best day won't do that. The fruit of God's kingdom in the earth comes as we live in Him together. And, what could be a more healthy and wonderful basis for sharing life in the Body than this freedom to live in him? I'm not here to manipulate you to give me what only God can give. I am not about forcing God into my agendas and plans. While living in the Father's affection and growing in trusting him I find myself in the middle of people he has brought into my life to share God's life. I can share what he has given me. You can share what he has given you. And, there is where real body life comes alive.

What is that body life like? How does it all come together? I'm gonna try and tackle that next time (if I'm brave enough. :))

Would you let God love you? Your trust will grow deeply as a result of that love. I guarantee it. Real freedom will come as you allow your growing relationship of love with God to displace ugly selfishness that comes so easily to all of us.

~ Skip

A Little Recap

2010-10-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

I've been sharing for the past couple months what has been working through my life in the last few years. An aquaintence described the distance between learning something in our heads and having it work into our daily living as a "conduct time-lag." An apt description, for me at least. It takes a long time for me to "get" things. It takes a long time to live what I learn, to let it seep into the pores of my life. It's discouraging sometimes. As time passes though, I happen to look over my shoulder and see a difference. Hey! I've grown! Not by leaps and bounds maybe, but by pieces and baby steps.

What I have been learning is how to live in our Father's affection. Living loved. This doesn't come naturally for me. I know in my head that God loves me, just like he loves all humankind. Like a class-action lawsuit. Everybody who is involved gets to sue. I've seen God's love similarly. Sort of a class-action love. Of course he loves me! "God so loved the world..."! I was privileged to spend about 40 hours alone with my brother, Steve, this past week and a half as we traveled to and from Florida and Ohio. He has recently come to the realization that God delights in him. It has been revolutionary for him. Feeling somewhat a rebel in his current church situation, one who won't "drink the Koolaid" as he labels it, he struggled wondering what was wrong with him. Long story, but the upshot is that the revelation that Father delights in him has been very freeing. He knows now that God accepts him and is saving him regardless of his failures and struggles. It was so good to share like understandings of our walk with God. Even though the miles of separation between us has been painful, we are growing together in this God journey.

I've stepped beyond the mistaken notion that God loves me like disgusted parents love a rebellious teenager who is being ugly. My Father actually loves me enough to like me! He delights in me. Man, Steve is right! This is so freeing! And so, what I have been blogging about over the last couple months -- with a few interruptions -- is this learning to live in the Father's affection. I spent the first blog expressing what it means to live loved. These are not all my original thoughts (is anything really original?), but I have truly been learning to internalize what has been seeping into my head. I have a Father who loves more than anyone on the planet! I can't shake that love even if I tried. I can't sin my way out of it or perform my way into it, or get him to love me any more or any less.

I used to think he would become disillusioned with me. NOT! Think about that for a second. This God who knows the end from the beginning, including me, doesn't start with any illusions about me in the first place. How could he become DISillusioned? Aint gonna happen. I used to think that God was hanging a big stick over my head ready to pounce everytime I screwed up. No wonder I tried to hide from him! The guilt, the shame, the condemnation I suffered! The discovery has been out of the scriptures written to a group of Romans in the first century. A guy named Paul said, "There is ... no condemnation for those who are in Christ." None. Zip. Nada. The realization to grab ahold of is that shame, guilt and condemnation do NOT help me live in God's life. He has removed those buggers in Christ, in Jesus death on the cross and resurrection.

That's what I mean by learning to "get it." As I have let this reality, his love, sink in deeper. I realize I am trusting him. Why would anyone not trust a God like this? So very trustWORTHY! I am coming to realize that everything about my life is in Father's hands. Nothing escapes his notice or grasp. I can rest! Trust has turned from a religious obligation to a reality. It is an outcome of my ever-growing confidence in Father's love for me. You can get the whole scoop in my last blog on "Growing in Trust."

In my next blog entry, I'm going to take a look at what this freedom is looking like. Can't wait!

~ Skip

Growing in Trust

2010-09-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

I used to think of trusting God as something I had to make myself do. You know how it goes if you have been on this journey with God for any length of time. Life's circumstances become so difficult that you find it hard to see that things will turn out all right. You know God has said that you can trust him, but it is not easy to do that. Right? Isn't that how it goes? Well, what I am discovering is that trust really is more of an outcome than a decision. Everything about my life is in the Father's hands. Everything! Nothing escapes his watchful, loving eyes. As I understand more about his love for me, I naturally trust him more. And, I don't mean "understand" as just an intellectual exercise. The more I experience his love, the more I discover that I am trusting him. Something happens and I am surprised to find that I am not worrying like I used to to. Or, I go through some difficult time and later look back and realize I wasn't as frightened as I had been when that happened earlier in my life. I found that I had been trusting God all along without ever really declaring I was. Trust is just the natural outcome of what I've experienced in my relationship with him.

Does that make sense to you? I remember when my children were small. We played the "jump from the bed into my arms" game that many parents and their kids play. They would jump from the bed and I would catch them. The thing that I noticed is that they never doubted I would catch them. I would take a step back and they would go at it again. Another step. Another catch. They trusted me. They didn't have to tell themselves, "I need to trust Daddy more." Their brother or sister didn't need to say, "Hey, you just need to trust Daddy more." They didn't need that. They just did it. They trusted as a natural outflow of our relationship. I even remember times when they surprised me and jumped to me when I was not looking or ready. It scared me, and I would say, "Whoa, make sure I'm ready before you do that!" But, the thing was, they didn't think twice. They didn't think, "I wonder if Daddy will catch me." They just knew and jumped. Of course, the difference between my heavenly dad and me is that he is always ready, never surprised, always capable.

I've heard people say to me or others, "Well, you just need to trust God more!" Are they correct? Sure they are. I DO need to trust God. The problem is that you can't trust anymore than you can trust. You can't trust God anymore than your relationship of love will allow you. And, people who say that probably don't understand what trust is all about anyway. Can I take little steps of faith? Absolutely. And, those steps of faith are things God has shown me I can do. He sticks his hand out for me to hold, and I grab it. He says jump, and I jump.

People are good at turning trust into just another religious act, a formula for getting God to do things. There are a number of problems with this approach to God, but the main issue is a lack of understanding about the nature of God. He is our Father, Jesus taught us, our Abba, our Papa, or Daddy, as we would put it in our culture today. As his children, we live in a love relationship with our Father. When the New Testament writers speak of our relationship with God as Father, they picture us as children who call God our Abba, our Papa. Children just trust their daddy. They learn from early experience that their papa does what is best for them.

So, trust, in this best sense of the word, is not a choice. It is an outcome. It is the fruit of my ever growing confidence in Father's love for me.

One of the other truths about this journey of trust with God I am learning is that Jesus is the one who grows our trust. HE does it! We cooperate. He does it. (... and even when we don't cooperate, he still is the one who does it.) Jesus is the author of our faith and also the one who perfects it, as the writer of the letter to the Hebrews puts it. He allows certain circumstances in my life that lead me to trust. He saves my bacon over and over again. He shows me that he loves me by graciously loving me through tough stuff. God is always at work wooing us, teaching us, growing us.

There's something else about this trust thing I am learning. It comes to my understanding from Matthew's gospel, chapter 6. Jesus said this:

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers-- most of which are never even seen--don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."

What pops out at me from this passage is the part about relaxing and not being preoccupied with getting. I am discovering that God wants to free us from being obsessed with getting. He wants us to not be preoccupied trying to get from him so that we can simply live in the reality of what he gives. Do we ask? Of course, we do. He just wants us to be content with what he provides. He knows best. And, as I learn the Scriptures, I begin to see how God works, how he does things. I watch Jesus as he watched his Father. He was never in a hurry. He was never worried. Never anxious about the next meal, paycheck, or opportunity. And, he taught us to do the same. This is great freedom, my friends! Great freedom!

I hope you are enjoying growing in trust!

A Conversation with God

2010-09-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

Me: Father, why don't you just heal all my hurts?

God: This is your heart we're talking about. Do you want me to just go in there like a bulldozer and just flatten everything out?

Me: I don't know. Doesn't sound fun. Sounds painful. Maybe that's what it will take though. It might be worth it.

God: Okay, son, listen to me. My goal is restoration, like an artist who lovingly and patiently restores an old painting... But, be patient; I AM doing that delicate work in you.

Me: Okay, God.

God: I love you, son.

Me: I love you, too.

Borrowed from The God Journey

Facebook | Mark Grisham

2010-09-01T06:11:00.000-07:00

Facebook Mark Grisham: "The heart , has neither a clock nor map. So don't bother lecturing it, about things like 'too long' ... or 'too far' ... Love God -from that deep place !"

Living Loved

2010-08-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

I said a couple blog entries ago that I would talk about five different areas of understanding God has been bringing me into: Living loved, growing in trust, embracing freedom, sharing his life, and incarnating his love in the world. I took a side road to talk about living in contentment -- not totally unrelated! -- and now I'm back on track. The first of these understandings is learning to live loved by our Father.

Living loved as a believer in Jesus means that you first of all understand how solid God's love is for you. It's pretty simple, really. It's also powerful. No one ever has loved you or ever will love you as much as God our Father does. You stand firm in his grace. That means what you do or don't do will not change his love for you. There is nothing you can do that will make him love you any more or any less. His love is perfect ... perfection. It isn't tied to your whims. His love and grace are not based on your performance.
Are you concerned that God will give up on you? You need not be. Are you worried that he will at some point have his fill of you and become disillusioned with you? How could he? He never had any illusions about you in the first place. His knowledge and love are perfect. He knew what he was getting into. You have a father who loves you more than anyone could ever love you.

Living loved also means that God isn't playing a guilt-trip motivation game with you. He doesn't use guilt and condemnation to shame you into obedience and growth. If you are a believer in Jesus and you are experiencing condemnation and shame, there is something about God's love you get to learn. There is something about the cross you get to discover as he reveals himself to you. Condemnation doesn't come from Him. There is no condemnation to anyone who is in Christ. This understanding can be found in chapter 8 of Romans:
¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ²because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. ³For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, ⁴in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

Think about it? If we live in the foundation of his unwavering love and unfathomable grace, and we certainly do, we are walking in the Spirit. We no longer need to live by our fleshly desires and motivations. Guilt, shame, and condemnation are not on God's agenda for us and they do not help us live in God's life. He knows that and has removed them by the wonderful cross event and he has no need to use them to grow us. In Jesus, there is no condemnation, there is no shame. (When Hebrews says that Jesus "despised the shame" on the cross, it means a whole lot more than he was uncomfortable being naked. But, that's for another time.)

We also do not need to try to earn points with God. He is not keeping score. Paul said as much in verse four of Romans 8. God did what he did in Jesus so that "the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit." You could never earn enough points to gain God's favor. You will never do enough to deserve his grace. Never. You will never be good enough to deserve his love. God knows this and that is why Jesus went to the cross. By taking our place on the cross, he filled out the score card for you and me. Toss the one you're holding and use that hand to grab his hand. ;)

You know what else? He loves you so much that he wants to make himself known to you. He wants you to know him. He wants to show you each day how to live in the freedom of his love. He wants to teach you how to recognize his voice. I am learning that Father not only loves us, but he likes us. He wants to spend time with us. And, he is the Creator and has so many creative ways to speak to us.

Now, does this all mean that God doesn't care how I live, what I do? "Sin all you want. God is a wonderful, forgiving God. Don't worry about it." Of course it doesn't mean that! God is greatly concerned about sin. Sin is what diminishes me from the person he has created and recreated me to be. It is destructive to me and to all those around me. It destroys his intent for our world. What I have discovered is that he hasn't given me a new set of rules to live by. On the contrary, he has "poured out his love into our hearts by his Holy Spirit" who comes to live in us. (You can read about that in chapter five of Romans.)

This fact of God's love in me means that instead of giving me a new set of laws to live by he has given me the power to walk in freedom by his Spirit in me. The scriptures come alive now as he begins to reveal his purposes and intent for life on this planet. The words of God take life and rich meaning and are no longer dead words on a page, rules and laws for pleasing God. My Abba Father (Romans 8) lives in me through his Spirit and quickens that Word in me. As I begin to understand the scriptures, I learn how God works in me, in others, and in the world. I am freed from sin, free to live loved by him and to love others in the same way.

What you learn about his love and experience in him leads to greater trust and I'll talk more about that later.

Live Loved today!
~ Skip

The Color of Contentment, part 2

2010-08-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

In my last post, I shared that the solution to discontent is God himself, a loving Father who knows us well, who orchestrates the circumstances of my life into growth. Our remedy to groping after relief from that gnawing lack in our souls is our trust in him. And, as I've said before, Jesus is the one who actually grows our trust. More than a decision, trust ultimately is a fruit of our growing relationship of love with God. The more I realize how much he loves me, the more I trust him. The more I experience the pickles God gets me out of, the more my trust grows.

I mentioned briefly that the path of a discontented heart can lead to ruin. Let me say, first off, that sometimes there is a good discontent, one that is born of the Spirit. I believe it is one way God speaks to us about change. We feel a nagging uneasiness about our circumstances, or what we are doing, or how we are doing something. Sometimes, that's God's way of telling us change is needed. He has such a wonderful way of urging us, of nudging us into this kind of change. The kind of discontent I'm talking about in this blog is the kind that is unhealthly, that leads us down paths of materialism or some other lifestyle that is destructive.

What are the consequences of a love of money and stuff and a lack of contentment?
One other passage comes to mind as God has worked with me in this area of my life. 1^st Timothy 6:6-10. "But godliness with contentment is great gain." Paul has been chewing out those who think they can use "godliness" for financial gain. (v. 5) And, boy, haven't we seen enough of that?! And then he says, in effect, “I’ll tell you what real gain is: godliness with contentment.” A knockout combo! As we grow in our love relationship with this Father, we learn to think like he does (however meager it may begin). As our relationship with Father displaces our need to grope after things that he hasn't given us, we find contentment. If God's got your back, what more do you need? In him you have everything you need to be successful in his economy, in his estimation. And, who else do you want to be estimating your worth? Really! Paul continues, "For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Keep it all in perspective.

"People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction." Notice: “People who want to get rich…” An important word, wouldn't you say? WANT. Do you WANT to get rich, to be wealthy, well-to-do, and center your life on people who are? And purpose to develop your circle of friends who are. It's one thing to be gifted with making money, to know how to "turn a buck," and to use that for bettering mankind. It's quite another to be obsessed with wealth, or the lack of it, and WANT to get rich. Here’s your warning from the man: "People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." There it is, that thing that the writer of Hebrews told us we are supposed to keep ourselves free from, “the love of money.” The love of money is a root … of all kinds of evil. Not money itself—a LOVE for money and things it affords and provides.

So, what kinds of evil? The rest of the verse: Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. I have known people who are lovers of money. They were stingy, tight, selfish and unaware of their selfishness, focused on material, person gain. And, yes, I have known “Some people,” as he says here, who “eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” Not a pretty sight.

Let’s read on. Verse [11]: “But you, man of God, flee from all this…” He’s talking to a man, Timothy. But, he’s also addressing each of us. “But you, O child of God, flee from all this…and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. He’s telling us to “flee and pursue.” What to flee from and what to pursue. What to take flight from and what to chase. What to abandon and what to dig your heels into. Go a different direction, he says, than the easy path of materialism, the obsession with getting. I like how The Message renders Jesus' words in Matthew 6:30 and surrounding verses. "What I'm trying to do is get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so that you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find your everyday human concerns will be met." That sounds a whole lot better than some people who “eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs”!

Let’s quickly finish up our Hebrews passage that we started last time. There is in these verses a really neat sort of twist. Notice again that verse 5 helps us by telling us what God has said. We can be content in any and all circumstances because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So, he helps us out with that understanding. Now, watch what happens. Verse [6]: “So WE say…” Isn’t that sort of neat?! I think so. What? You don’t get it?

Let's try again. God says this, so we say … that. Get it? Well, anyway, I think it’s just a really neat way to get the point across. Here’s what God says and what he says is true and so we can rely on what he says and what he says is, “I’m here to stay, Skip!” and so I can say something, too. …and with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Ha! Go ahead! Do what you want to me! IT doesn’t matter! I’m not afraid. The creator, my savior, he is for me. He’s on my side; he’s at my side.

So we say “WITH CONFIDENCE” Enough said? Enough said.

I think this calls for some prayer...

Father, this is so plain, it’s almost silly that I even feel like I should spend this much time here. There’s such a simple message here of surrender to your loving embrace … and trust in your goodness … and in your non-negotiable, uncompromising grace for us. I declare my trust in you now. I confess that I struggle with being content. And, Lord, not only do I wrestle with my flesh here, but when I see myself as I really am and how hard it is for me to live what should be so simple, I panic. I don’t know if anyone reading this blog has that same reaction, but that’s how I describe mine. And, I confess, that panic is really fear. Help me be like my son when he was a child and jumped into my arms and trusted me to catch him. I simply give myself and all that I am, and all that I’m not, to You … now. Help us all to live in the reality of your presence now and rest in our walk with you. Amen.

The Color of Contentment

2010-08-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

Uh oh! I'm going to break my promise. I'm deviating somewhat from the "living loved" theme in this post. It's really related, but a bit of tangent. ...
---------------------------------------------------------------
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

Contentment is an area of life that all of us struggle with at some point in our lives. When I read this passage in the New Testament, in Hebrews 13, I had to ask myself, "How?!" How can I keep my life free from the love of money and be content with what I have? Where does contentment come from? Why is it important to do this?

About 10 years ago, I was having a particular struggle with being content. I made a dumb financial decision that was born from a lack of contentment. I paid personally and, what was worse, my family had to pay for my mistake. All because I wasn’t content with what I had. God began to speak to me about this issue and I began to understand that discontentment has personal, economic, and social price tags that are lasting. It is probably one of the main contributors to our country's financial perils. We could say a bunch about that, couldn't we?

There is an inextricable link between our ability to be content and trust in God our Father. As God has enlightened me in this area, he has been teaching me about this link. About nine years ago, the Holy Spirit brought this to my memory one night as I lay sleeplessly thinking about why it is so difficult for me to totally surrender myself to God and live in complete obedience to Him. Nearly 45 years old, married for over 20 years, children half-raised, and total surrender to and trust in God in all parts of my life was still an issue.

This particular night we were in Santa Cruz, California. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law had gotten the family a condo on the beach. While I lay in bed at about 4:00am, I heard dogs barking. It took me a few minutes to focus on the noise, but that’s thought in the back of my mind while I was thinking about these other things. "Stupid dogs barking in the middle of the night!" You know how this works. You’re hearing something in the background and assuming it's a certain thing, but not really focusing on it. Then, you focus your hearing on the noise and discover what it really is. I heard the barking of dogs in the neighborhood. But, when I focused on it, the noise was really the barking of seals on the beach. But, I didn’t understand what I was “hearing” until I focused on it. That illustrates for me God’s work in us. He has to focus our attention, sometimes one issue at a time.

My brother-in-law, Gary, taught a Bible study series a number of years ago and made an observation I hadn’t thought of but have realized is true. When God works with us, He seems to work on one or two issues at a time. When I asked God about why it was so difficult for me to live in total obedience and trust, he began to speak to me about contentment. That highlights another way God seems to get at our issues. While I'm having trouble in one area of my life, God will sometimes work on something that seems totally unrelated. And, I will eventually find out that what he has been working on in me gets to the root of the problems I was having in the first place. He's doesn't seem all that concerned about fixing things up and making them "pretty." He's concern with what's really going on inside of us. And, in more recent years, he has helped me focus my attention on the truth that trust is grown in me by Jesus in real circumstances of my life as I see his awesome love and grace at work in my life. After all, scripture says he is the author and finisher of our faith.

When the Holy Spirit started to get my attention he brought to my memory a couple of passages of Scripture—the one at the beginning of this blog first. As I read it again, I was puzzled. I’d overlooked something in the past when I read it (many times). “What does the first part of verse five have to do with the second part of verse five.” I'll bet it's been totally obvious to you, and I thought it was to me.[i] But, I glossed over something important. I think what the Biblical writer is telling us is that there is an inextricable, inseparable link between contentment and trust. And, at the core of discontent is an incorrect focus.

My brother-in-law, Russ, was an experienced hunter. He had a trained eye. He could see things I couldn’t when we went hunting together. As we were driving down a country road he would say, “Look over there. There’s a deer right over there in that field.” “Where?” I’d say. And, many times, I couldn’t see it. He had trained his eyes as a hunter... to see the hunter’s game. I was young and single, 18 or 19, I think. Now, if he’d have said, “Look at the pretty girl over there!” ... now, you talk about focus! Talk about the hunter’s instinct! I could spot those kinds of Doe^s almost without focusing! I had trained my eyes. I had a hunter’s trained eyes. J

Well, at the core of discontent is an incorrect focus. Not a lack of focus, but a focus on the wrong things. My focus on things and circumstances and on what I don’t have by way of things and circumstances gets me in trouble. You remember when the disciples were out in the boat during the storm and Jesus came to them walking on the water, and Peter asked to come to him …to step out of the boat and come to him? Remember that? He was supposed to walk on the water to Jesus. But, when Peter took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the storm, the choppy, swelling waves and the cold wind, what happened? He sank. When our focus is incorrect, we too start to sink.

And so, our biblical writer says to us, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have...” Why? Look where our focus ought to be if we plan on being content. Why does he say it is possible for us to be content? Because God has told us something about Himself. What is it He has told us about Himself? “Never will I leave you” he says, “never will I forsake you.”

The answer to our problems, our struggles is never really a formula; the solution is a person. The person of God, our Father, Himself. I ask about my circumstance, “How can I do this?!” God says, “Here I am!” Not thinking I'm hearing correctly, I ask again, "How can I DO this?" Again, God says, "Here I am." I'm thinking, I want to be respectful and reverent, but sheesh, is he hearing me? So, I ask more clearly and succintly, "I didn't ask where you are, God, I asked 'How can I DO this?!" He says again, "I'm right here, Skip."

What more do I need?! Our creator’s promise of Himself! He doesn’t want to just “throw us a bone.” Rub the bottle and out smokes the genie. “Your wish is my command, Master.” No, He’s the Master. He’s the master of the sea and the storm! “Billows his will obey,” as the song goes. The Lord says, “You can keep yourself from incorrect focus in your life, on money and things, and be content ... because I’m here... and I’m not going anywhere either. I’m not going to forsake you. You will find your discontent displaced as we grow in relationship.” He doesn’t say, “Take these pills and see me in the morning.” He says, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” He says, “Find your rest in me.” A real rest.

Your answer to discontentment, which can only lead to spiritual ruin, is … Him. Your solution is a decided trust in his staying power, not yours. Your remedy for that groping after some relief from that gnawing lack in your soul is your growing conviction that God's got your back, your ever-growing realization of how much he loves you.

What are the consequences of a love of money and stuff and a lack of contentment? NEXT EPISODE :)

What God is Teaching Me

2010-07-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

God has been so patiently teaching us about who he is, his fatherhood, and how he works. I want to share some areas of understanding I have discovered related to "getting it" when it comes to living in our relationship with God. In other words, Is God getting through to me about himself and how he wants to relate to me? I am hearing what God is saying to me? Am I "getting it"?

I have been so blessed to have discovered some very valuable resources from some of the writings of Wayne Jacobsen. I am grateful for Wayne and the insight with which the Father has blessed him. He shares five areas are: Living Loved, Growing in Trust, Embracing Freedom, Sharing His Life, and Incarnating His Love. In the next post, I will look at Living Loved and add my two cents.

The Unforced Rhythms of Grace

2010-07-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

Our family is fast learning to love many of the expressions in The Message Bible's unique and refreshing ways to put things. Here's one of our favorites from chapter 11 of Matthew's gospel:

28"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. 29Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. 30Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Oh, the joy we have been experiencing learning from Jesus! Oh, the pain we have been experiencing learning from Jesus! Swimming in God's love is a refreshing joy and a real rest. We've also discovered that in our learning to move in His rhythms we have to UNlearn as well. Sometimes, it seems like it gets worse before it gets better. Often with our own selfish agendas at the fore, we so easily respond out of old habits of fear and mistaken notions about God and our "Christianity," and that brings about some painful realizations. As one person said, "Getting to the end of ourselves is not the fun part. It's just the first part" (Jake in the book, So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore!). But, I have this wonderful sense that the joy in this grace journey will outweigh the pain... and it already has!

Learning to live freely and lightly!

~ Skip

You can't love until you are loved.

2010-07-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

Living loved as a believer in Jesus is the starting point for loving others as Jesus asks us to. The simple reality is that you cannot love until you are loved. It means that you understand how solid God's love is for you. No one ever has loved you or ever will love you as much as God our Father does. You stand firm in his grace. That means what you do or don't do will not change his love for you. There is nothing you can do that will make him love you any more or any less. Are you concerned that God will give up on you? You need not be. Are you worried that he will at some point have his fill of you and become disillusioned with you? How could he? He never had any illusions about you in the first place. His love is perfect. He knew what he was getting into. You have a father who loves you more than anyone could ever love you. You've never been loved by anyone like this.

Living loved also means that God isn't playing this guilt-trip motivation game with you. He doesn't use guilt to shame you into obedience and growth. There is no condemnation to anyone who is in Christ. That's what the New Testament writer showed us in his letter to the Romans, chapter eight. Think about it? If we live in the foundation of his unwavering love and unfathomable grace, and we certainly do, we are walking in the Spirit. We no longer have to live by our fleshly desires and motivations. Guilt, shame, and condemnation are not on God's agenda for us. Those things do not help us live in God's life. He has removed them by the wonderful Cross event. In Jesus, there is no condemnation.

We also do not need to try to earn points with with God. He is not keeping score. Paul said as much in verse four of Romans 8. God did what he did in Jesus so that "the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit." You could never earn enough points to gain God's favor. You could never do enough to deserve his grace. Never. You could never be good enough to deserve his love. God knows that and that is why Jesus went to the cross to take care of the grace problem.

You know what else? He loves you so much that he wants you to know him. He likes you and wants to show you each day how to live in the freedom of his love. He wants to teach you how to recognize his voice.

What you learn about his love and experience in him leads to greater trust. I used to think of trusting God as something I had to make myself do. You know how it goes if you have been on this journey with God for any length of time. Life's circumstances become so very hard that you find it difficult to see that things will turn out all right. You know God has said that you can trust him, but it is not easy to do that. Right? Isn't that how it goes? Well, what I have begun to understand that trust really is more of an outcome than a decision. Everything about my life is in the Father's hands. Everything! Nothing escapes his watchful, loving eyes. As I understand more about his love for me, I naturally trust him more.

Trust, in the best sense, is not a choice. It is an outcome. It is the fruit of my ever growing confidence in Father's love for me. My own trust in Father is growing because he keeps winning me over to his trust. He keeps showing me that in spite of my goofiness, my lack of wisdom, my weaknesses, my constant propensity to mess things up, ad infinitum, he is with me and lovingly holds in his hands everything about my life. How can I not trust this kind of love?!

One of the beautiful things about this journey with God is that Jesus is the one who grows our trust. HE does it! We cooperate. But, he does it. Jesus is the author of our faith and also the one who perfects it. The Father is always at work wooing us, teaching us, growing us ... and I LOVE that! When I blow it, he's right here cheering me on to not give up, to go at it again. He even brings wisdom across my path to help me not screw up so bad next time. LOL! What an awesome God!

There's something else about this trust thing I am learning. It comes to my understanding from Matthew's gospel, chapter 6. Jesus said this:

30"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers-- most of which are never even seen--don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? 31What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. 32People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. 33Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

The thing that pops out at me from this passage -- and I think Eugene Peterson's translation hits the bullseye -- is the part about relaxing and not being preoccupied with the wrong preoccupations. He wants to free us from this constant obsession with getting. Getting stuff, things, even getting answers from God. I think we get so preoccupied with getting. Getting, getting, getting. He would like to free us from that so that we can simply live in the reality of what He gives. As I learn the scriptures, I begin to see how God works, how he does things. I watch Jesus as he watched his Father. He was never in a hurry. He was never worried. And, he exampled and taught us to do the same. This is great freedom, my friends! Great freedom!

There is more to say about that freedom, as well as how that freedom impacts my love for others, my desire to share this life with others who know it, and my longing to share it with those who don't know it. If only they could see our Father as he really is! ... Later!

Favorite quote

2010-07-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

‎" Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in life you will have been all of these." ~ Lloyd Shearer

Happy Independence Day!!

2010-07-04T15:13:00.001-07:00

Happy Independence Day!!