grand-pa

Miscellaneous: Best Poem of 2008 nominated by the UN

2008-11-09T14:37:00.005+08:00

This poem was nominated by the UN as the best poem of 2008, written by an African kid.

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
When I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray

And you calling me coloured?

Tags: miscellaneous, poem, racism

Miscellaneous: Difference between a Guy and a Girl

2008-11-04T08:53:00.003+08:00

Tags:miscellaneous, habits, guy and girl

Miscellaneous: Life and How to Survive It

2008-10-19T12:37:00.001+08:00

Address at Singapore Nanyang Technological University Convocation 2008 by Adrian Tan (author of Teenage Textbook)

Life and How to Survive It

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee
School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your

convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me
to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction,
defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as
a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one.
She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living.
She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly
by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day
telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being
disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That
is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one
who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when
you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already
be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be
married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be
married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The
end of education. You're done learning.

You've probably been told the big lie that 'Learning is a lifelong
process' and that therefore you will continue studying and taking
masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You
know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don't you think
there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the
business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you?
They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they're wrong.

The bad news is that you don't need further education because your
entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of
you. You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that
you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life
expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean
the average life span of a group of people. But I'm here to talk
about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as
the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind
Andorra and Japan , and tied with San Marino . It seems quite clear
why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one
thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very
little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by
watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be
lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live
to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than
five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time
they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another
40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when
they're 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing
their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't
meet their life expectancy.

I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever
want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working,
falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as
graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your
hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be
an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living
your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have
nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them.
And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore
to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not
entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything
does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no
control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour
by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your
life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as
tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will
ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best
that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all
downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many
wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it
is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term 'Karoshi', which means death
from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill.
But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day
by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until
there's nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet
people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are 'making a
living'. No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their
fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless
and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a
certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan 'Arbeit macht frei'
was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps.
Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate
so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in
modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you
enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it
for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will
have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I
enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've
been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction -
probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine
you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will
have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go
further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be
able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should
know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your
knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an
obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you
don't, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To
those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not
asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is
dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great
capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you
are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even
conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or
equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the
truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity
to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That
requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the
mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and
that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be
hated.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet
every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been
hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred
is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused,
murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the
case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by
one's own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has
to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will
gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot
be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if
you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a
sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one
changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by
anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for
me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without
deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken
a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings.
It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise.
Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete
acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find
palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning,
attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we
call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better
ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material
things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important
to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't
happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It
grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It
is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is
less important than the brain, and the body is less important than
the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not
reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to
inspire
you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to
loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your
body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It
consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life
expectancy.

Tags:miscellaneous, life, motivational

Miscellaneous: Cool Stunts by Russ and Paul Swift!

2008-09-28T16:47:00.003+08:00

Subaru parking stunt

Subaru parallel parking stunt

2-wheeling!

donuts!

Tags: miscellaneous, Russ Swift, Subaru, stunt

Miscellaneous: Cool Carvings IV

2008-09-23T15:19:00.001+08:00

Not sure if they're real, hehe, they still look cool nonetheless. Enjoy! =) - Espen

Tags: miscellaneous, carving, fruits

Miscellaneous: Cool Carvings III

2008-09-23T15:18:00.000+08:00

Miscellaneous: Cool Carvings II

2008-09-23T15:17:00.001+08:00

Miscellaneous: Cool Carvings!

2008-09-23T15:12:00.000+08:00

Miscellaneous: Dropped your Mobile Phone in Water?

2008-09-20T12:54:00.004+08:00

Tags: miscellaneous, wet, electronics

Miscellaneous: Will Power

2008-08-05T00:06:00.004+08:00

I smiled after looking at the first photo... You will also smile... Just scroll down and you will get to know the story of will power. Here it goes...

You thought the dog was imitating the man...

Entertaining the college kids right?

Now have a close look at it...

Despite being an animal, he gets respect...

He gets warm welcome everywhere...

He is STAND-ALONE.

The doors are open for only those who believe in themselves and will power which can make an animal walk on TWO LEGS! I won't say pass it on to others... I know you will.

Health: Enoki Mushroom Prevents Cancer

2008-07-29T23:15:00.005+08:00

Enoki Mushrooms are also known as Velvet Shank Mushrooms.

Golden-needle-mushrooms (jin-gen-goo) successfully kills 95% of cancer cells. (Taiwan report) Research done by Singapore U shows that eating this mushroom can destroy 95% of cancer cells in our body by boosting our immume system.

Professor Phan Hwai Chong of Yang Ming Research Centre in Taiwan told Reporter that consuming this kind of mushroom, one of the ingredients in the mushroom can trigger the multiplication of our healthy "defensive" cells. By out-numbering the cancer cells, healthy cells help iradicate cancer cells.

American scientists have since run tests on this particular type of mushroom extract with blood, done outside human body. Results show that mushroom extract is able to destroy cancer cells. According to Taiwan professor, since healthy "fighting" cells can be multiplied to tens and thousands of times, it can either be used as drip or just by eating mushroom.

The mushroom is most frequently taken with steam boat. Cooking time should be less than 3 minutes, or the healing property would greatly diminish.

Preparation, uses and tips:

Before using enoki mushrooms, rinse them thoroughly and trim off the roots at the base of the cluster. Enoki mushrooms can be eaten raw or cooked... Add them to salads, sandwiches, soups, pasta sauces, and stir-fried rice and vegetable dishes. To retain the delicate flavour of the mushrooms, add them at the end of the cooking process.

Buying and storing tips:

When purchasing fresh enoki mushrooms, select mushrooms with firm, white, shiny caps. Avoid purchasing enoki mushrooms with slimy or brownish stalks. Enoki mushrooms keep up to 14 days in the refrigerator if stored in a paper bag. (You should try storing veggies or fruits in those aluminium foil bags that you throw away if you do buy Milo or Quaker Oats in packages type. It seems they can keep longer and fresher. Keep one end open and not seal it tight.)

Varieties:

Most commercially available enoki mushrooms are the pale white cultivated variety.

Nutrition Highlights:

Enoki mushrooms (raw)

1 large (5g)

Calories: 1.7

Protein: 0.12g

Carbohydrate: 0.35g

Total fat: 0.02g

Fiber: 0.13g

Good health to you!

Tags: health, mushroom, tips

Story: How to Dance in the Rain

2008-07-16T13:19:00.002+08:00

It was busy morning, about 8.30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in emails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm,

but how to dance in the rain."

Tags: story, love

Miscellaneous: Weird!

2008-07-03T11:02:00.004+08:00

You'll need to look at this on a pc. You also have to get out of your seat and walk away from your computer. People may think you're crazy, but it's well worth it.

When you look at this picture close up, you see its Albert Einstein. But if you stand 15 feet away? It will become Marilyn Monroe. Give it a try.

Tags: miscellaneous, einstein, monroe

Miscellaneous: Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?

2008-06-28T10:17:00.003+08:00

Check this out, it's fun =) - SC

http://www.mikescomputerinfo.com/inteltest.htm

Tags: miscellaneous, fun, IQ

Miscellaneous: FYI on Earthquakes

2008-06-19T21:55:00.004+08:00

F.Y.I. Where to be During an Earthquake

Remember that stuff about hiding under a table or standing in a doorway?? Well, this guy has a completely reverse opinion. This is very interesting, different from what we were all taught.

Boy! Is this ever an eye opener. Directly opposite of what we've been taught over the years! I can remember in school being told to, 'duck and cover' or stand in a doorway during an earthquake. This guy's findings is absolutely amazing. I hope we all remember his survival method if we are ever in an earthquake!!! Please read this and pass the info along to your family members; it could save their lives someday!

EXTRACT FROM DOUG COPP'S ARTICLE ON THE: 'TRIANGLE OF LIFE'

My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI), the world's most experienced rescue team. The information in this article will save lives in an earthquake.

I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and I am a member of many rescue teams from many countries.

I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years. I have worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, except for simultaneous disasters.

The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under its desk. Every child was crushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene, unnecessary and I wondered why the children were not in the aisles. I didn't at the time know that the children were told to hide under something.

Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them. This space is what I call the 'triangle of life'. The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next time you watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the 'triangles' you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, in a collapsed building.

TIPS FOR EARTHQUAKE SAFETY

1) Most everyone who simply 'ducks and covers' WHEN BUILDINGS COLLAPSE are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed.

2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position. You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.

3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.

4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on The back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.

5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair.

6) Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed!

7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different 'moment of frequency' (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads - horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.

8) Get Near the Outer Walls Of Buildings Or Outside Of Them If Possible - It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.

9) People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.

10) I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices and other offices with a lot of paper, that paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper.

Spread the word and save someone's life... The Entire world is experiencing natural calamities so be prepared!

'We are but angels with one wing, it takes two to fly'

In 1996 we made a film, which proved my survival methodology to be correct. The Turkish Federal Government, City of Istanbul , University of Istanbul Case Productions and ARTI cooperated to film this practical, scientific test. We collapsed a school and a home with 20 mannequins inside. Ten mannequins did 'duck and cover,' and ten mannequins I used in my 'triangle of life' survival method. After the simulated earthquake collapse we crawled through the rubble and entered the building to film and document the results. The film, in which I practiced my survival techniques under directly observable, scientific conditions , relevant to building collapse, showed there would have been zero percent survival for those doing duck and cover.

There would likely have been 100 percent survivability for people using my method of the 'triangle of life.' This film has been seen by millions of viewers on television in Turkey and the rest of Europe , and it was seen in the USA , Canada and Latin America on the TV program Real TV

Tags:miscellaneous, earthquake, safety

Joke: Beggars

2008-06-10T13:33:00.001+08:00

Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars in London. Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Hamid only brings in 2 to 3 pounds a day. Hamid asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day.

Ahmed says, 'Look at your sign - It says, 'I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.' Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished anything by giving you money. You will still have no job and a large family. Now look at my sign.'

So Hamid looks at Ahmed's sign which reads, I only need another £10 to go back to Pakistan. ' !!

Miscellaneous: Listerine... Mosquito Spray... Worth a try...

2008-05-24T12:00:00.000+08:00

I was at a deck party awhile back, and the bugs were having a ball biting everyone. A man at the party sprayed the lawn and deck floor with Listerine, and the little demons disappeared. The next year I filled a 4-ounce spray bottle and used it around my seat whenever I saw mosquitoes. And voila! That worked as well. It worked at a picnic where we sprayed the area around the food table, the children's swing area, and the standing water nearby. During the summer, I don't leave home without it... Pass it on.

OUR FRIEND'S COMMENTS: I tried this on my deck and around all of my doors. It works - in fact, it killed them instantly. I bought my bottle from Target and it cost me $1.89. It really doesn't take much, and it is a big bottle, too; so it is not as expensive to use as the can of Bug-spray you buy that doesn't last 30 minutes.

So, try this, please. It will last a couple of days.. Don't spray directly on a wood door (like your front door), but spray around the frame. Spray around the window frames, and even inside the dog house.

Haven't tried it myself, lol. =P - SC

Tags: miscellaneous, health, mosquito

Miscellaneous: Don't Leave It Too Late

2008-05-19T18:45:00.000+08:00

A message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, bu have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember, send more time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thought in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Joke: Love Story

2008-05-14T18:00:00.000+08:00

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the head nursing director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am sorry, but he is dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

Tags: joke, humor, love

Story: The 4 Wives

2008-05-09T20:59:00.003+08:00

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives
a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Tags:story, wives, life

Joke: Engineers

2008-05-06T14:10:00.000+08:00

Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Take Four
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. Finally, at the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and said, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999. It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Take Five
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.

Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?

Take Seven
"Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." Both?" they asked. Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Tags: joke, humor, engineer

Miscellaneous: Sony Handycam advert

2008-05-02T23:51:00.001+08:00

Here's a really cute advert with a catchy jingle from Sony, reallly loved it!

Tags: miscellaneous, sony, cute

Joke: Customer Service

2008-04-30T13:48:00.002+08:00

A really well-done funny vid, check it out!

http://www.callcentermovie.com/movie/F8MedKf150.swf

Tags: humor, customer service, joke

Joke: Lie Detecting Robot

2008-04-28T09:19:00.000+08:00

One day Kyle's dad brought home a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Kyle returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?"

Kyle answered, "Dad, we had extra classes today".

Much to his astonishment the robot jumped up and slapped Kyle on his face.

His dad told him, "Son this robot is special in that it can detect a Lie and will then slap the person who lied. Now come on tell me the truth.

Why are you late?"

"Dad, I went to a movie"

"Which movie?"

"The Ten Commandments"

Immediately, Kyle got a slap on the face from the robot.

"Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie Sex Queen".

"Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved" Immediately, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing the last sentence, Kyle's mother comes walking out of the kitchen and sarcastically says to her husband, "After all he is YOUR son!!!"

To which the robot steps up and gives Kyle's mother a resounding slap on her face!

Tags: joke, humor, robot

Story: A Mother's Love

2008-04-25T10:36:00.000+08:00

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $.50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge
For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years: No Charge
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge
Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you." And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL".

Lessons:
- You will never how much your parents worth till you become a parent
- Be a giver not an asker, especially with your parents. there is a lot to give, besides money.

Tags: story, motivational, mother