Grass Stains: life where we love it - Homeschool Blogger

It's Been Fun

Thu, 31 May 2007 19:00:00 -0500

I think the Homeschool Blogger community is excellent. I will really miss the social network here.

However. Please visit me at my new blogging home:

Shellie Stephens

Octavia

Thu, 31 May 2007 18:48:00 -0500

A friend has a part of your heart and history. Someone you can’t imagine not talking to and laughing with as often as humanly possible. Who doesn’t complain “You’re never home” but rather exclaims, “It’s been way too long; man, I’ve missed you!”

Today I sat down and made the time to call my God-friend. This little 4′10″ friend of mine is pure Louisiana Jambalaya girl. I first saw her standing in the Misawa Inn with her five little kids. I had an instantaneous, odd thought: “I’m going to be friends with her.” I walked past with a smile. We’d both just arrived on base in Japan. Jet lag. No one was up to talking.

The next time I remember running into her she was opening a huge box outside the post office and pulling out her children’s winter coats. It was September. It was mighty cold. Household goods take forever to arrive via ship from America. We were shipped over in August. Our goods — October. We had left Oklahoma City where September will still be hot. September in northern Japan is not so hot. Our sandal-ed feet were chilly.

I remarked, “How smart! I didn’t even know you could *do* that! Mail stuff to yourself, that is.” She straightened up (my favorite joke on her: Stand up when you talk to grown-folks, girl!”) and said, “Oh sure. They’ll even pay for it.” Thus began our friendship. It wasn’t exactly smooth. Octavia is a pastor’s wife and she was beat down, life-weary due to circumstances prior to arriving in Japan. Not only that, but as a pastor’s wife, she is beset by women who just want her shoulder on which to lean. Exhausting really, for a homeschooling mom of five.

I called her and invited her over. She canceled the first time. She was cautious. Tired sounding. I called again. When she sounded as if she were going to cancel the second time, I interrupted with: “Octavia. I know you’re tired. I know that friends always want something out of you. I don’t. I have no problems that require counseling. Let’s just talk. I’m remarkably whole,” smiling all the while.

And we understood each other. Now truly we both did have normal life issues to complain to each other about but that wasn’t therapy, that was friendship. Together we both became addicted toMarché’s corn soup and crêpe cake. We had lattes at the Mokuteki late at night. We’re both total hounds for shopping in Hawaii. (get me off this rock with its one grocery and BX.)

It’s been too long since I’ve spoken with her. Today when I called we were immediately back in the rhythm of “You are the funniest person I know. I love spending time with you.” It seems we both were having the brazilian wax from hell at the same time last year and getting drug over the coals by a rank amateur. How two grown women can laugh so hard over:

She used strip wax. STRIP WAX, did you hear me?!? If that boy wants that done again, he can drive me to Virginia Beach.

We both agreed it was worth a 14 hour drive to our known Australian aesthetician rather than risk unspecified harm at the hands of unknown overpaid sadists.

She told me she loved my new house. That I’d done the entirely wrong thing to change the colors in the dining room and kitchen and I should watch more HGTV. That she will use her frequent flier miles to arrive and help me paint that house right and unpack it. All I have to do is drive her to Chicago’s for Pappadeaux’s.

I told her I was going to visit family alone down South. She paused. “Are you there? Are you sick? Girl. Are you pregnant?” She knows. She’d go with me if I asked her to come.

We confided that we were done with school for the year. No one knows it but we no longer care about the children’s education this semester. She wants to sell houses. I want to go to law school. We agree that the kids could probably learn to school themselves.

I don’t remember the last time a day felt this right.

I Miss Mayberry

Thu, 1 Mar 2007 03:05:00 -0600

Our lives are formed by hundreds, maybe thousands, of silent dreams.

"Life should be simple. Like Mayberry."

"If we lived in a small town, I'd marry the boy next door."

"4-H and raising a calf sound romantic." (okay, *snort*)

One thing you may not know about me is that I am country. Really and truly. Now, my friends say that my purse hook gives it away -- I am not really "country."

But I am. I like to live somewhere "off the paved road" that requires a four-wheel drive to get to. I like my driveway to be so long (and not paved) that you can't see my house. I will never give up "y'all" and "yes ma'am" and "no sir." I only wear shoes when I have to. I was raised in Arkansas. I dearly love country music. I could give up just about anything before I'd give up Tim McGraw, Toby, Garth and George.

Now I don't see why country music isn't everyone's favorite. The sentimentality. The stories. The boot-scootin' boogie.

And today as I was belting out one of my favorites Don't Take the Girl, I heard the reality within the romance of marrying the boy next door.

You see, I was stationary growing up. We moved, once. To Houston (Porter, Texas, for you Sundance fans). Okay twice. We moved back. When I grew up, I wanted to move. And we have: Oklahoma, Ohio, Michigan, Japan, Idaho, and again we go. My children think they've been deprived of something: Mayberry. Never mind that Japan was Mayberry (and I'm not kidding you there). They want roots.

And then it hit me. My brother has lived in one state all his life. Is his life more romantic? Is his daughter living Sweet Home Alabama? Oh, in some ways, yes, I'm sure she is. Life is sweeter when it's plain and un-hurried.

But it seems to me that we can waste time looking for something Hollywood has sold us or Nashville has sung to us. And I don't want to end the sentimentality they package for us. But it is escape. Go ahead, let's make life as un-cluttered and real as we can and take time to enjoy what we do have and what we do want rather than pine for what we do not have or for what does not exist except in beautiful Hollywood/Nashville pipe dreams.

We know what kind of folks we are: simple and country (well, think: Luxury Farmhouse, ha). We require land and time away to recharge. A few activities here and there to stimulate the intellect but much more free time to rejuvenate the spirit. A place to kick off our shoes and run around with the dogs and a horse and a tree to climb. I know it doesn't sound like me -- but it is.

Don't Take The Girl performed by Tim McGraw
Greatest Hits

Johnny's daddy was taking him fishin'
When he was eight years old
A little girl came through the front gate holdin' a fishing pole
His dad looked down and smiled, said we can't leave her behind
Son I know you don't want her to go but someday you'll change your mind
And johnny said take jimmy johnson, take tommy thompson, take my best friend bo
Take anybody that you want as long as she don't go
Take any boy in the world
Daddy please don't take the girl

Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Ten years down the road
He held her tight and kissed her lips
In front of the picture show
Stranger came and pulled a gun
Grabbed her by the arm said if you do what I tell you to, there won't be any harm
And johnny said take my money, take my wallet, take my credit cards
Here's the watch that my grandpa gave me
Here's the key to my car
Mister give it a whirl
But please don't take the girl

Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Five years down the road
There's going to be a little one and she says it's time to go
Doctor says the baby's fine but you'll have to leave
'cause his momma's fading fast and johnny hit his knees and there he prayed
Take the very breath you gave me
Take the heart from my chest
I'll gladly take her place if you'll let me
Make this my last request
Take me out of this world
God, please don't take the girl

Johnny's daddy
Was taking him fishin'
When he was eight years old

It Doesn't Matter When Life Begins Anymore

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 18:40:00 -0600

We have moved beyond "when does life begin" in the abortion debate. I thought that ultrasounds would do it and the new 4D ultrasounds and the photos coming out of that are incredible.

The other night I was watching "House." I was shocked into sitting for the rest of it to see the ending. Shocked. A few days later, Plugged In Online, a publication of Focus on the Family, put out this summation of the staggering episode:

Recently, a disheartening but uniquely honest discussion about abortion took place on Fox's House. On the Jan. 30 episode, Dr. Gregory House (played by Hugh Laurie) advises a rape victim to "terminate" her pregnancy. She responds, "Abortion is murder!" "True, it's a life," he says, "and you should end it." A few moments later she reiterates, "It's murder—I'm against it." Then she asks House, "You for it?" He concedes, "Not as a general rule." She presses him, "Just for unborn children?" "Yes," he says. Later, to give context to House's assertions about life-and-death matters, the pair discusses God. "Either God doesn't exist, or He's unimaginably cruel," he insists. "I don't believe that," she replies. "What you believe doesn't make sense," he says. "If you believe in eternity, then life is irrelevant." The episode concludes with news that the woman has been discharged from the hospital—after having the abortion. [Fox, 1/30/07]

Now that we can peer into the inner recesses of the womb, pro-abortionists are forced into conceding that it *is* life. Their new point is that it is a life that doesn't matter.

For years we've known that Peter Singer was a bleeding edge envelope pusher. His views on personhood are vile.

'Bioethicist': OK to kill babies after they're born: 'Animal-rights' promoter asserts actual birth makes no difference

Singer's support for legalized euthanasia and his endorsement of killing the disabled for up to 28 days after birth also sparked protests against his hiring in 1999 by Princeton, a university founded by the Presbyterian denomination.

Up to TWENTY-EIGHT DAYS?!? I told someone last evening he had said "48 hours." Even *that* was stunning.

I am quoting him at length below and while I'm sure he feels the "context" makes his views palatable, my stomach turns.

From Peter Singer' s website FAQ:

Q. You have been quoted as saying: "Killing a defective infant is not morally equivalent to killing a person. Sometimes it is not wrong at all." Is that quote accurate?

A. It is accurate, but can be misleading if read without an understanding of what I mean by the term “person” (which is discussed in Practical Ethics, from which that quotation is taken). I use the term "person" to refer to a being who is capable of anticipating the future, of having wants and desires for the future. As I have said in answer to the previous question, I think that it is generally a greater wrong to kill such a being than it is to kill a being that has no sense of existing over time. Newborn human babies have no sense of their own existence over time. So killing a newborn baby is never equivalent to killing a person, that is, a being who wants to go on living. That doesn’t mean that it is not almost always a terrible thing to do. It is, but that is because most infants are loved and cherished by their parents, and to kill an infant is usually to do a great wrong to its parents.

Sometimes, perhaps because the baby has a serious disability, parents think it better that their newborn infant should die. Many doctors will accept their wishes, to the extent of not giving the baby life-supporting medical treatment. That will often ensure that the baby dies. My view is different from this, only to the extent that if a decision is taken, by the parents and doctors, that it is better that a baby should die, I believe it should be possible to carry out that decision, not only by withholding or withdrawing life-support – which can lead to the baby dying slowly from dehydration or from an infection - but also by taking active steps to end the baby’s life swiftly and humanely.

Q. What about a normal baby? Doesn’t your theory of personhood imply that parents can kill a healthy, normal baby that they do not want, because it has no sense of the future?

A. Most parents, fortunately, love their children and would be horrified by the idea of killing it. And that’s a good thing, of course. We want to encourage parents to care for their children, and help them to do so. Moreover, although a normal newborn baby has no sense of the future, and therefore is not a person, that does not mean that it is all right to kill such a baby. It only means that the wrong done to the infant is not as great as the wrong that would be done to a person who was killed. But in our society there are many couples who would be very happy to love and care for that child. Hence even if the parents do not want their own child, it would be wrong to kill it.

So infants are not people. And it is wrong to kill it, but do you see why? It has no sense of the future. Wrong because the parents might love it or someone might. But wouldn't it follow that if *no one* would love that infant, it would be okay to kill it. SMACK! That's what he's proposing in his "28 days to decide if you want to allow your disabled infant to live or not" framework.

God have mercy on us all and grant us fortitude to stand up for the weak and innocent among us.

Nowadays, in America as elsewhere in the world, a model of society appears to be emerging in which the powerful predominate, setting aside and even eliminating the powerless: I am thinking here of unborn children, helpless victims of abortion; the elderly and incurably ill, subjected at times to euthanasia; and the many other people relegated to the margins of society by consumerism and materialism.

(Pope John Paul II, Ecclesia in America January 1999)

Mother Teresa's Rules of Humilty

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 11:12:00 -0600

Mother Teresa gave these rules to her Sisters to help them develop the virtue of humility:

1. Speak as little as possible about yourself.

2. Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.

3. Avoid curiosity.

4. Do not interfere in the affairs of others.

5. Accept small irritations with good humor.

6. Do not dwell on the faults of others.

7. Accept censures even if unmerited.

8. Give in to the will of others.

9. Accept insults and injuries.

10. Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.

11. Accept injuries and insults.

12. Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.

13. Do not seek to be admired and loved.

14. Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.

15. Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.

16. Always choose the more difficult task.

I copied this from: Jalapenos are a Lifestyle but remember seeing it at Kid Sister of Blessed Imelda too -- two of my favorite friends to visit. :)

Penguin

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 18:32:00 -0600

Obviously homeschooled siblings.

*Please right-click to save and upload to your own photo-sharing account.

Peanut Butter and Fudge

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 18:32:00 -0600

I make a mean peanut butter and fudge milkshake. This is handy information; listen up.

There is no day gone so bad* this shake cannot right.

2¼ cup vanilla ice cream
¼ cup whole milk
2 Tablespoons creamy peanut butter
1 Tablespoons chocolate fudge (i.e. Hershey's ice cream topping)

Combine in blender. Pack ice cream for measurements. Blend on medium. Makes one 16 oz. shake or several "juice cup" size shakes.

*we're a homeschooling fam, okay? Our days gone bad involve Coke spills on the dissecting tray or the chore list becoming so faded we can't tell who is "dishes" and it's CHILI day.

We are blessed!

Unmentionables

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 21:35:00 -0600

I must have grown old. I've forgotten that it's embarrassing to mention that you need to buy underpants. Someone might overhear that you actually wear them. You must never say "We need to visit the lingerie department," even if it's for socks.

I've forgotten that if you're shopping with teenagers you must never call out "We're going to the bathroom now."

After all, we're the only family in America that wears underpants and visits the restroom, donchaknow.

So, for the precious children's (not mentioning names) questionable modesty, I say "Code U."

"Laundry's done! Come put away your Code U." "We're all going to Code R now, whether you need to go or not."

This of course never lends itself to being overdone for humorous effect. Such as "Dinner's done! Come and get Code D!"

I've forgotten that some things in life are just... unmentionable.

We are blessed!

Christmas Tree Lighting

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 20:43:00 -0600

There is one thing with which I cannot complain about my town: it's gorgeous.

The Christmas tree lighting on Friday was stunning. There were impressive fireworks, a community rendition of Silent Night, and a darling homemade parade complete with a float full of football boys.

Our own tree is up. Maybe I can clean the area around it enough to get a photo up tomorrow.

I'm a Sucka'

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 12:19:00 -0600

I freely and of my own volition admit that I love the Santa Clause series with Tim Allen. Brand me a heretic; I happily bear it.

But oh. The latest, The Escape Clause, is just not good. It pains me to say it.

However, did I have to take the kids to go see it? Yes. I. Did. We did it, and we won't be watching it on purpose ever again. The only one who liked it was Gwyneth, 7. Figures. This from the child we took to see Wallace & Gromit in Hawaii because she broke her arm and couldn't swim. AFTER we sit through an excruciating movie for her, she announces "I did NOT like that." I just don't think I know this kid.

Things are much smoother around here, although I may have some shaking-things-up news in a month or so. For now, suffice it to say that the main parts of the house are quite liveable, ready for Christmas ornamentation, but my office explodes weekly. Must get on top of that since my office is right by front door with GLASS doors. Smart.

Speaking of Christmas, I have nothing out, but I did make my first decor purchase of the year:

Greatest Gift of All

I'm truly anticipating Advent this year.

We are blessed!