Gray Areas and the LAW

Thoughts of an Insomniac: Tired but not Weary.

2011-11-24T09:15:00.001-08:00

Dealing with sleepless nights is never new. This is just among those nights where I lurk in the night and wait for sleep to win me over. Somebody told me I should stop drinking coffee or better yet tire myself so hard for me to fall face dipped on my pillow. If it would be that easy, I would have done that long ago - but it's just not. Having eyes wide awake almost every night is not something you have to pity yourself for. Everybody's so after of getting a good night sleep. True enough, achieving such a dream can mean cloud nine. But, there's so much beauty in the night that most people fail to even recognize. For one, when night time falls, the sounds of your surroundings become deafening. Silence becomes noise and noise becomes silence. You even get the chance to hear your own thoughts; to ponder on your very own existence. You develop your night time vision and every night you’re awake, the dark even becomes vivid. You become unconventional in dealing with time. You feel undaunted with it to the point of becoming invincible. My insomnia becomes my greatest weapon.

As I keep watching the clock ticks 'till I get to call it another day, I still thank somebody Higher for the chance to meet the new day heads on. Though the clouds are threatening for some heavy rain pour, it's not something I have to really worry about. It's not something that one cannot even expect. It’s just something you have to embrace. The only difference between day and night is that people tend to become preoccupied during the day that when night time comes, they sacrifice it to the point of losing its essence. They say night time is designed for people to put everything that took place the whole day to rest. Perhaps I was an exception to such. I am.

I have all the time in the world so to speak – to review what took place the whole day. I get to laugh alone whenever I recall something funny. I can even hear words clearly when my thoughts start to do the talking. I am not crazy, technically – I just have all the time to sum up everything. And by everything – including those thoughts which are supposedly buried six feet under. This is the downside of being a sleep denouncer. Not all day turns out to be good. There are always the bad days to call. And when it’s supposedly time for me to call it a night, I just can’t throw everything away to oblivion. I must deal with it the same way I allowed happiness to linger in my system. To some, this may sound like a curse. For me, it’s becoming human about everything.

So one night I decided to sleep over with my girls and decided to take in some shots thinking that since I cannot sleep, I might just have to enjoy it. Chats become unforgivable when time strikes 4:45AM. But reviewing what took place during the night makes me realize a lot of things – particularly dealing about womanhood and relationships.

The good thing about having four heads colliding with thoughts is that you don’t have to deal with your own. You just have to listen to what they have to say and from there you get the chance to realize that you do not just become a recipient of their own personal thoughts but also the very core of their humanity and existence. Time cannot counter those thoughts as the topic gets interesting until I must hold it there and must have to ask myself, “Wait, do I really hear her say those words or was it myself doing the assessment of my own humanity?” True enough, we vary with our thoughts and experiences but we have our own stories to tell and every day I get the chance to hear somebody else’s thoughts, it magnifies my existence. It keeps me grounded. It helps me understand more why people vary with their perspective towards life in general.

I don’t know how you define a good person but that night, I know I was with such kind - Ferocious but forgiving; Understanding yet decisive. That night, I was privileged to become a part of a privileged communication of a group who knows something about life and people. And these are all women who would rather give a good fight for someone they love before calling it quits. Fearless as they may seem but deep down they know where they have to take it and when too much becomes enough. These are the kind of women who know the core of their existence without necessarily defying ‘should’ and ‘must’. Extremities reached its height and internal battles are won over. We branded the night, no doubt.

Putting everything in the trunk NOW.

2011-10-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

I had a failed 3-year relationship with someone. We were both students of the same school who shared the same fun. Admittedly, we started things the wrong way. We played each other's part too well that we never got caught. One day, a change of heart of the other occurred. Honestly, it caught me off guard. Knowing each other's flaws, it's hard to promise a commitment, yet, considering the turn out of events, I skipped out skepticism and proceeded with it. It lasted and moved quite smoothly - everything between us. But there was a point in my life that changed me as a woman. I was violated. Should I rather say that my being a woman was violated. The thing is, what I really hate the most in relationships is the expectation that you set for each other that once violated causes tremendous damage to the core of your being. I was damage - that's for sure. And until now, I honestly cannot consider myself being able to stand up and move on. I become a hypocrite of my own self. I deny the fact that I was deeply hurt and conceal every pain my eyes are shouting. And yes, I want to be with myself once more.

The usual stuff that we do all the time suddenly changes. It was a natural course of change that anybody who doesn't know me might not be able to figure out but I, caught him. I just knew my instincts were right and it lead me to what I should know about my de facto partner. I loved him, perhaps he had loved me too but where did the promises go? Third-party becomes the priority and I was suddenly impeached from the picture. It was already right before me but I was denying everything; afraid that everything I was holding on will crash right before my very eyes. I was truly afraid I can never handle the situation. Yet, it happened - on my very own watch. Where did I go wrong? What was lacking when all I thought I had given everything? I practically sold my soul to the devil in a man's disguise.

I was a fool; that's for sure. At least I was able to figure that out now. But it was too late before I realized I had nothing left of myself but an empty body with an empty heart. I practically couldn't even remember how I survived everything. I was a goner. I lost the world and I lost myself. I couldn't even start anew because I don't know how. I had broken pieces left to be recovered and it just gets hurt every time I try to pick those pieces up. And of course yeah, I made him choose. As expected, he chose me. But what satisfaction does it offer me? I was once a loser, and I can never be made twice.

But now, I realized I had never mourned over the idea that I lost a 3-year relationship. It was an investment. It suddenly sinks in now. And it still hurts I would admit. I thought I had lived my life thereafter so well considering that I was able to talk to my former man. But now that I had read this flagrant admission from one of his messages that he and that same girl are still very much into it, it made me pity myself. I was a hopeless case.

Clarin National High School Class of 2011, Salutatory Speech

2011-10-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

The Graduates: A Partner towards Transformational Society; As Partner to Social Change

Ladies and gentlemen, good morning.

Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions – Why am I doing it? What the results might be and will I be successful? Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead. Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow graduates, looking back seem to be surreal especially today that we have finally come to reaping the fruits of implanted learning and knowledge. How time flies, how four years easily pass by. Yet, four years marked molded characters and values; four years of thirst towards excellence that have always been achieved and four years of unbreakable friendship. Yet once again, we are all facing the same three questions, why am I doing it, what the results might be and will I be successful? All the answers to these questions have finally made it possible for me to be witnessing this remarkable chapter of our lives as graduates. Today is but a beginning of another fresh leaf waiting to be dew dropped and every day makes it even worthwhile to plan ahead what our future will be.

Our society continues to transform every now and then but values learned shall forever remain regardless of how challenged the hard times can be. We have been made to meet up with these challenges and to conquer them towards the betterment. Then can we say that we are partners towards transformational society; and social change. Yet, how prepared are we to be in the battle fields? We must remember that behind every broken bone, victory becomes an inch away of a grasp. But with the foundation that we had, we have become unbeatable and inevitable and just get stronger when the challenges become harder. While most of us here may seem to be safeguarded with the comfort zones that we are used to, it is now time that we decide on choosing that greater path that we ought to follow and who knows, we will become one of the greatest society transformers in the century, just when the world badly needs us.

Our parents, teachers and fellow graduates who are present today are all living witnesses of the making of true society transformers. Would this be goodbye? I don’t think so, for I believe that four years are not all easy times, four years are not just passing by, four years are but pure and fresh moments lived by and these will be the same four years that will lead us towards another time of making and remaking history in our society’s pages. We may take different paths later on, but these four years will be just the same time that will bring us back together in order to enliven memories. It is not time to weep but a time to rejoice; definitely not a time to end but a start of a new beginning.

Others may be able to directly aim their shoot to the moon and land on the moon, yet, in times when we aren’t sure of our path, may we not forget to continue aiming at the moon, for all that we know, we have landed at the stars. Passing grades may be a matter of preparation, but being on the lead towards transformation is a matter of call and I am sure, when it calls for all of us, we are all prepared to answer.

Congratulations my fellow graduates.

A Review of UAE’s 2011 Residence Visa’s Two Year Reduction

2011-09-30T01:22:00.000-07:00

Many have been surprised by how the Department of Labor in Dubai, UAE had cut short the residence visas and labor cards among the working force in the private sector which rule was aimed to be implemented and applied effectively January of this year. With this new rule, all those employed in the private sector will be treated no less than any other domestic helpers who also have the same visa term. While many have been overtaken by this news, there are somehow varying reactions towards the passage of this new law. Some businessmen believe that the reduction of residence visa to two years from three years can raise hopes for a more fluid yet controlled game play in the labor market. Others however show insurgent reactions because they believe that a two-year residence is never enough to satisfy the demand for quality services considering that it can take 4-6 months before one can finally learn to adapt to their jobs. Yet, reviewing the aims of the Labor Department last year when the news broke out, they say that the aim of the government is to consolidate and collaborate both – residence visa and labor card in order to effectively control the labor market and offer greater security to the country all at the same time. Let’s review what happened in UAE since January of 2011 to now.

Taking that rule today, the Dubai Chamber of Commerce and Industry has stated that Dubai has greatly suffered losses and is deeply hurt in terms of retail. Can there be a relation somehow to this press release to that “new rule” that has become effective eight months ago? Adding insult to injury so to speak, the rule has never taken aback its toll towards businesses in Dubai when since it has been passed as the new governing rule among workers in the private sector, there has been a great leap in terms of labor costs and expenses (hiring a single worker now costs Dh9, 000) that many business owners these days have developed some fear not to be able to sustain even the primary and basic demands of workers under them. This rising labor cost has been confirmed by no less than the Chairman of the Dubai Business Retail Group, Mohideen Bin Hindi.

The thing is should a country want to achieve a more developed economic plan by controlling the labor market, why not take a more careful move on it rather than surprising everyone? Not all fresh news can be good news and not everyone can definitely be happy about a new economic plan guised under the veils of residence visa two year reduction especially when it’s a plan aimed at the moon. Now the new rules’ unveiling effects can never be denied. As to whether you are among those affected by it or you belong to those who benefit from its passage, perhaps you can now call it a day.

A Smoker’s Thought

2011-09-29T23:05:00.000-07:00

I often heard people say that you will lose minutes from your life in every stick of cigar that you puff. From this thought, it made me wander, “What if I never smoked from the very start, should I have lived a hundred more years of age?” I laughed at this thought because, medically, it may serve as true and believable for people especially those who are in the medical field but how true can that be when the fact is, these physicians or other medically related individual needs to puff at least one stick before they are able to call somebody from the phone of their dead patient informing the latter’s family that the patient is already dead?

Nicotine serves a lot of purpose: to keep you awake, to keep you sane, to keep you alert and to make you depend on something other than yourself especially when you are under stress or pressure. Making your brain works will be more effective if you are trying to work on it with nicotine – at least, this is true for cigarette enthusiasts.

I believe that what most people are afraid of in smoking is the thought of being addicted to it. Nicotine is addicting. Yet I never believed in the fact that it is nicotine which is addicting. What I believe is that, it is the habit of having a stick tucked in between your fingers and the clicking of the lighter that makes the act even more addicting. It makes you jealous to see somebody across the streets lighting up a cigar to the point of you hearing it from across the distance; then you will begin to salivate. The next thing you know, you are already holding your own stick and puffing all the way. Everybody who smokes find solace in every puff they do in their cigar. It is perfect for coffee while sitting idle in one of the subway coffee shops. It makes you think and be thankful about life even more – to have lived life longer than you expect you can because of the vice. But it is worthy to delineate the concept of a vice from that of a habit. Is it the vice that makes you expectant of death getting through your lungs or is it the habit of puffing from time to time? Or should these two need no delineation?

There are people who love collecting cigars yet never smoked any of it. There are also those who would die to have a stick just to have the puff of their lives. People vary and that’s where delineation should start. Whether it may be the habit of puffing or the vice of collecting it that brings joy to you is the question that one should really consider having a thought.

Some say that smokers alike always come up with a justification for smoking, yet how does a smoker justify another for not even trying to puff? How does one control another for not puffing when that person doesn’t know for a fact why he or she tried to stop you from puffing? This by itself is worthy of a thought.

Sweet Escape to the South

2011-09-29T22:55:00.000-07:00

If you haven't experienced the City South of Cebu, it's high time you visit Dalaguete. It's a place located kilometers away from the city center. This should not worry you because transportation services are all available. You can take a bus, jeepney or even hire a cab to reach the place. Dalaguete Beach Park is the name of the resort we went too. It was a fine long drive afternoon. It was a lucky strike for me considering I don't have to pay for anything including fare as I was just kidnapped by a lawyer friend who happens to bring their car with him. So there. All you have to pay for is an entrance fee of P50.00 and a cottage that's cost around P350 which can accommodate 6-7 persons. If you are planning to go as a group, this place is the place to be. It's not as crowded unlike the beaches near the city belt. Plus, there's so much to do. The resort offers group activities like volleyball and boating (that explains the bangkas) I was sitting on in the picture. They have clean comfort rooms with guaranteed fresh running water. Perhaps the only downside of the resort is that it doesn't offer a place to stay for the night. Although I believe you have to negotiate with the care taker of the resort should you wish to stay for the night. You can bring along your tents and mount it on the resort's grounds. As for the water, it's cold and the current is not as calm as those in northern part beaches. Perhaps because it's near the open sea. So if you are planning to stay for the night, you better bring with you your jackets. Of course, it will be a best venue for a bonfire.

Mocha Blends, IT Park: Mocha Jello Experience

2011-09-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Mocha Jello Frost with White Mocha Caramel on its sides

If you are looking for a place to stay while waiting for somebody to talk business with, Mocha Blends at Asiatown, I.T Park in Lahug, Cebu City is the place to go. You need not be a coffee drinker or an enthusiast for that matter - just indulge in the experience! I had my first share of their mocha jello frost -- a coffee jelly in mocha frosting. I took the grande and the presentation is quite impressive (at least it exceeds my expectations). For P165 grande, you can enjoy a refreshing experience of this jelly coffee. I love the idea that I was paradigm shifting these days; that is, I was able to trash that idea that coffees should be warm and conventional. Well, I was happy that I tried something new. The P165 worth experience was indeed valuable. I must say, it exceeds Starbucks' coffee jelly version. Now I can say, I'm converted!

What Is Your Reason for Living?

2011-09-22T22:11:00.000-07:00

How will we ever live today if we continue to fear the future? Most people underscore the idea that it isn’t all of today they are living with that will truly define their future. Come to think of it, we all made mistakes in the past yet able to live with it now. Today is not everything and so is tomorrow the more. Yet we continue to live in struggle to provide ourselves a better future. But what does future means when we start to lose ourselves in the process of struggling to survive a day? We continue to complain about getting our feet wet during a rainy day when there are some parts in the world who religiously pray for it. We forced ourselves to have a sneak peek towards the future neglecting the beauty of the present details. We lose the attitude of living when we start to worry about the deadly future.

To some who are grounded with what the present calls for, congratulations. Indeed it is not easy yet I believe everything that surrounds us are but factors that will either affect us (if we choose it to affect us) or just mere factors not even worthy of consideration. We make good money today, we were able to eat, and we sleep on comfortable beds and woke up the next day doing the same routine and still, despite how we were happy yesterday and today, we still have that fear in our hearts of what the future is in store for us. Our bodies dictate us to physically live at present yet our minds are geared towards the future. Why? Norms, perhaps? Or is it that same norm that dictates our minds to navigate to the future because people who have dreams are those who are rather considered responsible and mature.

Stop for awhile and reflect. Do you think you have the right reasons to continue living? Most people would perhaps answer that they have their children that they need to feed and that they are reason enough for their existence. Quite believable, but, why do I rarely hear people who simply answer that their own existence is the very reason for their own living? It is the connection that we establish with people close to our hearts that continuously give us these justifying reasons of our existence. Yet, we lose the faith of living our own lives on our own. Free from influences either from family, friends, work, classmates and etc. When did you ever live a day as an absolutely free person? Be honest to yourself.