Great Speaking Coach

How to Hold Your Audience in Rapt Attention

2013-05-13T17:03:00-04:00

There is magic in those moments when everyone in the audience is paying full attention to you. You don't need to be a sleight-of-hand magician to make this happen. You only need to tell a great story.

A powerful example of how a great story is like magic was reported in the news about Bill Clinton speaking at Howard University's 2013 graduation. Clinton described his visit to Indonesia and a tour through the camps sheltering many tens of thousands of those left homeless by the tsunami in 2004.

Clinton praised the handsomeness of a 10 year old boy. The interpreter told Clinton that yes,the boy was handsome and that until the tsunami, he had had 9 siblings. All of them were lost in the tsunami. As the reporter wrote "The crowd fell silent."

It's what Clinton said next that makes this an example of speaking magic. He said to the graduates "This man who had lost nine of his ten children led me through that camp with a smile on his face and never talked about anything but what those other people needed and what he wanted me to do."

"No matter what happens to you, it is highly unlikely that you will ever face anthing as awful as what happened to that mother and father."

No facts and statistics, no policy rants, no logic. A compelling story related in simple meaningful words with obvious emotion in his voice. Those graduates will remember their graduation day for a long time. I'm sure that from time to time, when faced with the difficulties of life that everyone faces, will remember this story.

How well do you create magic with your stories and hold your audience in rapt attention?

Do You Know Likability Makes Influence Possible?

2013-05-07T10:18:28-04:00

"Organize the facts logcially" or "create an incontrovertible formula" or "collect a zillion proof points." I've heard these approaches to being persuasive thousands of times over the years. Yet the study of human psychology shows that these "left brain" approaches hardly ever work, or don't work on their own to influence behavior.

What does work well is being likable. Likabiltiy is one of 6 influence factors identified by Ribert Cialdini, PhD. proven to make a difference in the behavior of people. The stronger your likability, especially when you're speaking for business, the better your chances to influence behavior in the desired direction.

Why should business speakers assess their speech or presentation content through the filter of likability?

1) Likability draws attention. People much prefer to look at and listen to someone who tells interesting and engaging stories about people behaving admirably. We're attracted to heroes acting bravely to overcome obstacles.

2) Likability-focused content leads to likable voice, movement and facial expressions. When you're filtering for likability, you'll choose stories and points that people will like. Then your delivery will reflect this likability further deepening the attention of the audience.

3) Audiences want to spend more time with likable people. When your call to action includes inviting your listeners to spend more time with you (by buying your services or products or following you online) or changing their behavior in the office, your likability increases their desire to take action. They think "When I do this, I'll get to spend more time with, or I'll get recognized by, him/her."

Likability can be learned if you think you're not very likable now. It starts with having an open mind about everyone and everything; looking for the bright side of events and people. Likability continues to grow when you consciously choose language that is optimistic, upbeat and forward looking. You get more likable when you craft stories that show the best of people.

In effect, you talk yourself into likability. Then it's easy to take that quality to your audiences and influence them as you wish.

Sometimes You Just Have to Stop Revising

2013-05-02T09:54:00-04:00

Is there one set of words that is perfect? That could never be improved upon? That wouldn't benefit from just one more tweak?

Probably not. If for no other reason, as we and our circumstances change, our thinking changes and we could continue to revise ad infinitum.

Sometimes you just have to stop revising. It may be the fifth, eighth or tenth time and then you've got it. Additional revisions will just make your content weaker, more labored, more stilted, more distant from the original thought that prompted the writing in the first place.

Here's an example: After several revisions of a 2 minute speech I felt the speaker had captured her voice perfectly, with rhythm, the right combination of humor and introspection, and enough intrigue to make people want to learn more. Then she revised again and it just felt flat. Not horrible, mind you, just missing the spirit of the draft before.

You won't always know in advance when to stop revising, but you will certainly know afterwards. Have the courage to put two drafts side by side, read them aloud and hear the differences. You'll learn two things: the last may not be the best, and it may be that the second to last is "perfect"--at least as perfect as it needs to be for now. Instead of revising yet again, stop! Pick the one that feels the best and start your practices.

I think many hours and tons of energy are often expended seeking some ultimate perfection when you already have what is perfect for today, for you and for your audiences. Sometimes you just have to stop revising.

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How to Become a Person of Interest by Susan Trivers available for Kindle now ($2.99)

Establish Your Unique Identity

2013-04-26T11:56:00-04:00

Do you compare yourself to someone else? You're "sort of like..." or "in the style of..." or "a knock off of..." Stop it immediately!

The original person X or person Y is likely online in many media. If you identify yourself in terms of person X or Y, you'll simply send your listeners or readers or followers to that other person and they can do so with a few taps of a finger. Why would they listen to you when they can go directly to the original?

Put your efforts into working diligently and thoughtfully to be the very best YOU. What makes you who you are? Your unique set of circumstances throughout your life can be put to use establishing your unique identity. Every person experiences similar events from their own perspective, lens or point of view. This is how you stand out and establish your unique identity.

Think about yourself in terms of these characteristics:

Values: what are your never-waver-no-matter-what values? Honesty, environment-friendly, helping others, leading, being a geat teammate? There are many others. Know your own.

Perspective: half-full/optimistic; half-empty/pessimistic; insider or outsider; dramatic or steady and even-keeled? Whichever you are, embrace it.

Personality: happy and life-of-the-party; serious and preferring small groups and 1-on-1; introvert; extrovert; deep and analytical; broad and skimming the surface.

I believe that all of these are equally valid-there are no rights or wrongs, best or worst. You are the combination of values, perspective and personality that you are.

What is important is to recognize yourself and claim your unique identity. When you contribute to a project, lead a team, or become a senior executive you must stay true to your unique identity. When you write or speak, let your unqiue identity come through.

What would it mean to you, your career, and your reputation if others started quoting you, referring to themselves as like you, and holding you up as an exemplar? It would mean a lot, even if you can't quite see it now.

Get clear on your unique identity and establish and maintain it.

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Now on Kindle: How to Become a Person of Interest by Susan Trivers, America's Great Speaking Coach.

Relevance: Your Speeches Must Keep Pace with Rapid Changes in the World

2013-04-24T11:48:00-04:00

Your audiences require value, a return on the investment they've made to show up and listen to you. You only give that to them by talking about views and visions that are constantly refreshed. Any speech or segment of a speech that is more than 3 months old does not pass the relevance test. Get rid of it.

Not only has the world changed in the past few months, all the people in it--and in your audiences--have changed too. What was fresh and new a few months ago is either now accepted practice or has gone by the wayside. People today are quick to adopt, adapt or discard.

You will give your audience their desired ROI through wisdom and vision. Wisdom comes from an analysis of your long experience combined with the intellectual work that leads to expectations for the future. We can only act for future results. Anything that simply repeats what is known today falls short of this goal. Real ROI for an audience comes from helping them plan what to do tomorrow and in the coming months.

Forget historical corporate or industry overviews. Forget repeating conventional widsom. Avoid beating the drum for "best practices." If you can't or won't interpret facts and figures, leave them out or don't speak at all.

What should you speak about? First, know what each specific audience cares about now and for the coming months. Topics include growth; changes in the market place; concepts such as adaptability, responsiveness, and service; and values, which are long-lasting and immutable.

Customize your speech content for the specific concerns of each audience. One audience might be worried about how their company, with long lead times, can become more responsive to changes in their market place. Another audience may want to become more responsive to meeting the changing needs of their marketplace but they have the ability for quick turnarounds. These are on the same topic--changing markets--but two different perspectives.

The best business speakers are well-prepared with fresh, up-to-date material relevant to each audience. They don't rely on libraries of slides or files of old speeches where they just change the name of the company or city. Human beings are very quick to assess you and when you speak tired old material, you'll be relegated to the dinosaur heap.

All business growth is future oriented. Your speeches must be the same. Get out a clean sheet of paper or open a fresh screen and put down your thoughts about today and tomorrow. Build your speech from those thoughts. The audience, and you, will enjoy a significant ROI.

Get the (Imaginary) Rally Towels Waving at Your Next Speech

2013-04-18T11:50:00-04:00

Excited chatter, waving rally towels, boasting about the team's stats, boldly predicting that your team is going to blow away the other team...

Do you craft and deliver your stories like a football game unfolds?

To me, the qualities that make a sports game exciting and captivating are these:

1) Uncertainty-even an underdog could win!

2) Ups and downs-every team fumbles, makes amazing catches, expresses elation and frustration

3) The possibility for something unexpected to change the trajectory of the game (weather, ref's call, a player coming out of nowhere to make a great play)

Regretfully most business speakers are not like football teams that make the game exciting from
the first moment to the last. Most speakers are like train schedules: they run on time, hit every scheduled milepost along the way and routinely arrive at the destination. That's great if you are a train passenger, but pretty boring if you're an audience member.

Speakers must build excitement and unpredictability into their stories. Write the story from your
perspective of being in it as it unfolds. Express your uncertainty about how it will play out (either good or bad). Make the audience feel they are with you in the moments that the experience took
place.

The opposite of being in it as it unfolds is to view it historically and tell it that way. This is typical and you should try hard to stop doing it.

Big caution here: while a football game seems to be happening "on the fly", it is much more a result of devoted practice and planning. A superbly told story that unfolds with all the excitement of a football game happens because you've crafted it carefully and practiced and rehearsed diligently. Remember that even football games, which take place in the moment, are exciting because the teams have practiced and rehearsed millions of possibilities. They're prepared, so they can go with the flow on game day.

Be prepared so you can go with the flow--be fully present for the audience, adjusting your timing or
gestures or eye contact as the audience responds just as fans respond to the unfolding events at a football game.

Are You Ready for Bold Self-Promotion?

2013-04-18T11:45:00-04:00

You'll never get ahead without others knowing about the outcomes that your work generates. Yet we are conflicted about self-promotion. It's bragging, it's unseemly, what will others think? "There's no I in team" has been pounded into us.

Before you turn away from, or jump into, the idea of bold self-promotion, take a few moments to objectively evaluate whether you're ready to self-promote.

The two dimensions are Skills and Outcomes and you evaluate yourself on how high or low you are in each dimension.

If you fall into the High SKills-High Outcomes quadrant, you are ready for bold self-promotion. You have to get over your discomfort about talking about yourself. Create mini-stories such as: "When we had X problem, I realized that the obstacles to overcoming it were A,B,C and I took (or lead) actions Q,R,S to generate Z results." There aren't any grandiose exaggerations here or highly charged adjectives ("I was stupendous in my unrelenting efforts!" or "I worked 24/7 to get the results.") It is absolutely fair for you to connect your work to the outcomes.

If you fall into the High Skills-Low Outcomes quadrant, you're currently non-differentiated from others. You need to develop your ability to turn your skills and work into measureable outcomes. Measures may be quantitative and/or qualitative. Hard work that doesn't contribute to the goals of the organization is like a hamster running on a wheel. You don't want to do that. The first step to improvement is to establish a measureable outcome or goal. Define what it will look/feel/sound like when you achieve it. Then focus your high skills on reaching that goal. High skills are the foundation for the readiness to self-promote.

If you fall into the Low Skills-High Outcomes quadrant you're in a tenuous position: "a one-hit wonder." The high outcomes may have been the result of others' work, a fortuitous change in circumstances, or something outside your control. If you boldy self-promote on the basis of great outcomes not backed up by your own high skill level, you've built a house of cards that can come tumbling down at any time. The biggest risk is that you are asked to repeat the success and you won't be able to. Enjoy the space that high outcomes gives you to build your skills. Until you have the skills as well, you should resist bold self-promotion.

If you fall into the Low Skills-Low Outcomes quadrant, you know you are far from ready for self-promotion. The first step is to set a measureable goal you can attain in the short term (6 months). Then list the skills you'll need to achieve that goal and acquire them, either by taking classes, self-study or mentoring or a combination of these. While you are working on your skills, keep a notebook of your progress. It's much easier to recognize small steps at the time you take them. After 6 months, compare where you are with where you started. It may not be time for bold self-promotion but I'm pretty sure you'll see that you're moving into the High Skills-Low Outcomes quadrant. From there it is possible to generate more outcomes.

Share examples from your own life about how you got ready for bold self-promotion. Post them in our comment box.

Similes Add Vivid LIfe to Your Speeches

2013-04-16T12:05:00-04:00

"A great speaker lifts the audience up like a quarterback running for a touchdown excites the fans."

This is an example of a simile, which is a comparison between two unlike objects or behaviors that specifically uses the word "like" or "as."

To state this comparison as a question: "Do you lift the audience up like a quarterback running for a touchdown?"

Business speakers load up their speeches with facts like a freight train loaded with heavy cargo.

Instead, business speakers must present like a thriller that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Now that you've got the idea about similes, what concepts or objects will you compare to events, actions and objects from the non-business world? Your ability to use similes could well make you a person of interest, and sought after over the many others who are competing in your space.

A person of interest is like the grand canyon: beyond measuring, memorable, and one of a kind.

Share your favorite similes in our comment box.

5 Tips for Excellent Storytelling

2013-04-12T12:15:00-04:00

A wonderful client has experienced many events in her life. In fact, she wrote a personal memoir and she's learning from me how to speak about it in a way that inspires others to read it.

Our work reminds me that stories are more than reports of events. Stories are works of art that capture the imagination and tap into the feelings of audiences. Here are the 5 tips I gave this client and that you can use to craft stories from the events of your life.

1) A story requires 5 elements: the hero or main character; the crisis; the obstacles to overcoming the crisis; the steps the hero takes to deal with the obstacles; and the resolution.

2) A well-crafted story sequences these elements in a way that causes the audience to pay the most attention. You might actually start with the end, if you can create mystery and curiosity. You could open with the hero in mid-action as he/she works to overcome the obstacles. You could begin with the crisis and then reveal the hero and the rest.

3) Language is essential for depth and texture of the story. Dig deeply for your most evocative language, for the descriptions that conjure images and emotions. Avoid words that have become cliches, such as 'ginormous' or 'horrific'. Savor each word as you write it and speak it.

4) Begin simply with a list of your 5 elements. Craft language for each element. What words convey the inner qualities and thoughts of the hero? How do you transport the audience to the crisis and help them appreciate the gravity or challenges of the obstacles? Will any brief dialogue add to the story? Complete each element before assembling the story.

5) Arrange the elements in various combinations and practice telling the story out loud. Hear how it sounds in each version. Where can you adjust to maximize impact? Are there vocal qualities (louder, softer, faster, slower, pauses) that will add meaning and impact? As the artist, you have many options and you should try them all before settling on one combination.

Practices are key to effective storytelling. No one--and I mean no one--ever tells a story off the cuff as well as they would if they practiced. My rule of thumb for practices is 10 times. Practice it, reflect, adjust. Practice, reflect, adjust. After about the 5th time you shouldn't be making any more adjustments. Then keep practicing until you're fluid and very present in the moment.

What's the point of stories? I always say "make your stories their stories" which means that the audience learns something about themselves from your stories. How can they overcome the obstacles and get the outcomes? Is there a moral? What is the simple lesson they'll remmeber for years?

One of my favorites is "You're free to go" which was the last line of a story. The storyteller then turned to the audience and asked us to always remember "You're free to go." The whole story had been about his own unique experience and then, with these simple words, he made his story our story.

Pick an event or experience from your life. Craft it into a story. Practice well and tell it often. People will appreciate your wisdom as they improve their own lives.

6 Words that Hold You Back

2013-04-10T11:55:00-04:00

Who are your top business heroes? Steve Jobs, perhaps? Tony Hsieh, who sold his company Zappos to Amazon for $1.2 billion? Honest Tea, a small local company committed to real tea (now Fair Trade Certified) that has become a national brand?

I believe that these people have one particular trait in common. They never, ever said "We always do it that way." Six simple words, too often used to stop innovation, imagination and risky choices from becoming trailblazing, explosive-growth business efforts.

I love imagining the meeting at which Tony Hsieh said to his executive team "I think we need to not charge for shipping, both for purchases and for returns." Jaws dropped open, eyes bulged, and people spluttered "but, but...everyone charges for shipping." Tony must have nodded and then said "We're not going to be everyone." Free shipping began, as part of the the stragtegy of "selling happiness," and the market loved it.

My clients say they are eager to stand out from their competition and yet these 6 words so often hold them back. I advise them that they need to put the audience first and not start a speech with a thank you and a corporate overview. They respond "we always do it that way." Or worse, "everyone else does it that way."

If you do everything the way you've always done it, you will devalue your company and fail to grow. The biggest outcome of doing everything the way you've always done it and the way everyone else does it is that you put yourself in the commodity category. Commodities are readily available products or services for which there is no differentiation. One is as good as another. And someone will always lower their price. You are sunk if that is your revenue strategy: we're a commodity.

Send the message out, repeatedly and to everyone in every setting, that your company does not stick with "we always do it that way." Along with saying this, you must also show it in your own behavior. Step in front of your audiences, internal or external, and begin with an attention-getting opening that the audience has never heard before. They will be captivated. They will also begin to try it themselves. The more you model this new mind-set (also 6 words) "we differentiate and we stand out" the more your colleagues will do it too.

Whenever anyone uses "we always do it that way" as a reason for something, don't accept that. Ask them how they could do it differently and give them opportunities to put into practice the 6 new words: "we differentiate and we stand out."