Finally a decent crime report from GreenvilleOnline.com:

GREER — Cell phones were stolen from two more AT&T stores early this morning after three suspects entered the businesses, cleared out inventory and left within minutes, authorities said.

Greer Police responded to the first robbery on 215 W. Wade Hampton Bllvd. at 6:04 a.m. Video surveillance showed three men between 21 and 30 years old entering the store dressed in dark hooded sweatshirts and wearing black gloves, according to incident reports.

The suspects took an undetermined number of cell phones of different makes and models, along with phone accessories, one report said.

At 6:12 a.m., officers responded to a second AT&T robbery at 5322 Wade Hampton Blvd. Three male suspects used a crow bar to gain entry into the store and then into a locked room that held inventory, according to a report.

The gang has made off with $30,000+ worth of merchandise and they show no signs of stopping. They have been caught on video and don’t wear masks though so I doubt these are pros.

Fox Carolina has a link to surveillance video of the gang.

WYFF points out that the men seem to be extremely familiar with these stores layouts. They also have more detailed descriptions.

Turns out the appalling behavior will go without official punishment.

The Greenville County Sheriff’s Department has declined to file charges against any of the brawlers from Southside High School or their opponents at Abbeville High.

Greenville County Sheriff’s Lt. Shea Smith said the decision was reached because no victims came forward to file assault reports and administrators at both schools assured investigators the students involved were appropriately punished.

Abbeville suspended eight players from school for five days. Southside disciplined three players.

Sounds like an appropriate punishment for your basic schoolyard fight. But for a melee that nearly devolved into a riot? Not so much.

These kids might not be hardened criminals (yet), but having to stand before a judge might have made them think twice before throwing punches on the basketball court.

The Cherrydale store and the store on Haywood Road were wiped out.

The thieves used crowbars to break through the windows and went straight into storage rooms, leaving the phones connected to security wires alone, investigators said.

Approximately $33,000 in merchandise was stolen, $13,000 worth from the store at 77 Haywood Road and $20,000 worth from the 3209 N. Pleasantburg Drive location.

News Channel 7 has security footage that shows at least three suspects clearing out the inventory of one of the stores. Authorities say a silver four-door SUV may have been involved.

After being on the run for a few days the world’s dumbest check forger has been caught. Don’t be too impressed with the detective work though, Candy Marie King forged checks to herself using her real name:

Greenville sheriff’s deputies have arrested a 40-year-old Greenville woman who they say forged child support checks and took other checks that she wrote to herself.

Investigators said between Feb. 22 and March 5, King acquired the routing and account number of the Greenville County Family Court Child Support account, and manufactured illegal documents resembling Family Court checks.

Employees from Family Court found the discrepancies during a daily internal audit and notified the Sheriff’s Office.

Deputies said King made the checks payable to herself, added Clerk of Court Paul Wickensimer’s name, and cashed them at area businesses.

King faces three forgery charges related to falsified documents from to the Greenville County Family Court account.

King faces an additional eight forgery charges in connection to other incidents dating back to Sept. 24, 2009.

I’m surprised this took so long to come to light. But using her real identity to run a check scam wasn’t the only dumb thing she did:

Investigators said King obtained other checks belonging to two separate victims, one of whom she knew, and made the checks payable to herself, cashing them at area businesses.

They should give her extra time for stupidity. This scam was like robbing a bank by demanding the teller put all her money in your account.

Hindman is charged with theft of government funds and health care fraud. If convicted, Hindman could receive 10 years in prison and up to $250,000 for each count.

McDonald said the case was investigated by agents of the Social Security Administration and the Office of Inspector General.

Now one Greenville neighborhood is practically under siege by the “American jackal” and residents are at a loss on how to solve the problem:

GREENVILLE, S.C. — Residents of a Greenville County neighborhood say their pets are being attacked and even killed by unexpected predators, and they are warning others to protect their pets from the danger.

People who live in the neighborhood along Crestline Road say they feel like they’re under attack.

The fear began with the death of 15-year-old sheltie named Maggie. She was attacked and killed in her own driveway.

Maggie’s owners said they found their dog’s body covered in puncture wounds just ten minutes after letting her out one night in late February.

Neighbor Ruth DeVorsey said, “The idea that it was killed by coyotes is terrible.”

A border collie up the road was also mauled, but its owners heard the attack and intervened in time to save the dog.

DeVorsey said, “That’s two animals within four houses attacked on the same night.”

Apparently the coyotes are so settled in the area that people have heard the howl at night. Coyotes are not unusual in South Carolina, but our exploding population of transplanted urban folk not used to dealing with these varmints is exacerbating the problems associated with these animals. Trapping and hunting coyotes is necessary to control their populations close to civilized areas. Unfortunately the Disneyfied view of nature Americans now have changed the fundamental understanding of our relationship with predatory wild animals. Even the local experts are giving out bad advice:

Wildlife experts say coyotes are afraid of humans. Small pets are most at risk.

Tell that to Taylor Mitchell, a 19-year-old Canadian folk singer who was mauled to death by a pack of coyotes less than a year ago. Lone coyotes may indeed be afraid of humans and target small animals, but a pack will attack large animals including humans if an opportunity presents itself.  An injured person alone, a person taking a nap by their favorite stream, a couple of teens hiding out in the woods to get high, all of these are targets of opportunity for the increasingly fearless coyote packs. Coyotes fear humans because we kill them, if we stop killing them in a couple of generations we see that fear dissipate and our contacts with these predators become more violent.

The same goes for many animals. Seattle, for example, has had a rash of raccoon attacks on dogs, cats, and people. In a recent case three raccoons came into a woman’s yard to attack her mini-pincher and when she screamed rather than flee one began attacking her. It was not rabid. Seattle has inadvertently created a raccoon population that does not fear humans, largely through so-called animal lovers encouraging the animals to live close to them by banning the harvesting of these creatures.

My advice to the Crestline Road area is to get yourself some dog food, snare wire (para-cord works in a pinch) and a book on trapping animals (like Dale Martin’s The Trapper’s Bible) and handle this problem before one of these coyotes kills one of your children.

At least we don’t have New Jersey’s black bear problem. Scientists there are warning that the population cannot be controlled without hunting, but who hunts in Jersey anymore?

GREENVILLE, S.C. — Greenville police said that an automatic teller machine that was ripped from the ground at a bank in January was found in the back of a truck on Wednesday morning.

Police said that the truck was found parked in a wooded area off Verdae Boulevard just before noon.

Investigators said that the ATM appears to belong to a Wachovia Bank on Woodruff Road that was hit on Jan. 18.

How was this crime scene found you ask? Well according to WYFF it’s a funny story…

Brian Jenkins said he was taking a short when a deer darted in front of his car on Hilton Street.

Jenkins said, “It was a big deer. I hunt, so I stopped and said, ‘I’m going to see where this deer is.’”

Jenkins followed the deer about 80 yards into the woods.

“There were deer bones. It was crazy. Then I could see the back of a truck,” he said.

Jenkins said he hollered for his brother-in-the law and together they approached the truck.

Yeah. Sounds reasonable.

From the Publix Website recall page:

The T. Marzetti Company has announced a recall of a limited number of veggie dip and chip dip products sold under the brand name of T. Marzetti. The T. Marzetti Company was notified by one of their suppliers of a recall of an ingredient due to potential Salmonella contamination.

Additional information can be obtained from the T. Marzetti Co by calling 1-800-427-0147 for up-to-date information about this consumer alert.

The following products are carried in the Publix produce department:

* T. Marzetti Southwest Ranch Veggie Dip, 15.5 ounce (UPC 70200 52004) Best By dates: APR2010F, APR2810F, MAY1610F, MAY3110F, JUN0610F, JUN1410F, JUN1910F
* T. Marzetti Spinach Veggie Dip, 15 ounce (UPC 70200 52059) Best By dates: APR1910F, MAY0910F, JUN0710F

If you have purchased any of the products listed above please discontinue use of the product immediately. Take the container or proof of purchase back to the store for a refund.

Good for Publix getting in front of this, and if you’re a veggie dip fan check the labels carefully.

Next stop for Judy Greer: Hell.

GREENVILLE, S.C. — Greenville police said that a 2-year-old was girl was shaken to death by a relative on Monday.

Officers were called the Greenville Memorial Hospital Monday morning where a doctor told them that the child, Jakorsha Dodd, had been brought into the emergency room at about 11:15 a.m. non-responsive and in respiratory distress. The doctor said Dodd was treated for injuries consistent with shaken baby syndrome.

Police investigators said they interviewed 51-year-old Judy Mae Greer, a cousin who was in the child’s home caring for the toddler. Greer told police she tried to rock the child to sleep. She said she shook the toddler until she became quiet and still.

Disgusting. Judy Greer is pretty much either the dumbest cretin in South Carolina, or pure evil. Either way, rot in Hell, Judy Mae.

The incident took place at about 11:45 a.m. Friday.  The suspect demanded an unknown sum of money from a bank teller and did not show a weapon.  Here’s more on the man being sought by police:

He was described as a white male, approximately 6 feet tall, wearing a long-sleeved gray shirt, blue jeans and an Atlanta Braves ball cap.

He fled the scene in a white, older model, two-door Chevy Cavalier traveling down Wade Hampton Boulevard toward Greenville, said police spokesman Lt. Jim Holcombe.

Please call Greer police at 864-848-2151 if you have any information related to this crime.