Greg Behrendt - News

Los Angeles and NYC dates!

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In preparation for my appearance at the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh Scotland I am doing 7 U.S. tuneup dates , 5 in NY, and 2 in LA! The show is called Love Sex Pudding Death and includes old as well as brand new material. Here are the Dates

Last Monarchs Gig of The Summer!

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Come and see the your favorite super dapper, guitar slinging. fondu eating, Surf Ska Rangers and their buddy Punk Surf Guitarist Laramie Dean at the Redwood Bar and Grill July 8th! If you like pirate style surf punk with a taste of even more surf courtesy of Gantez Warrior then this is your nite punx!

This will be the Monarchs last gig of summer as I will turn my attention to stand up in preparation for the month long run of LOVE, SEX, PUDDING, DEATH! at the Edinburgh Festival !

Here's where I'll be prepping the show!

Monarchs and Laramie Dean Live!

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The Reigning Monarchs and their buddy Punk Surf Guitarist Laramie Dean Play the Redwood Bar and Grill July 8th! So if you like pirate style surf punk with a taste of even more surf courtesy of Gantez Warrior then this is your nite punx!

The Reigning Monarchs on iTunes!

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CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE RECORD FROM ITUNES!

Me Live Tonight, Rest Of Week!

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I am performing tonight 8PM Improv Hollywood

Wed 17th with Sarah Silverman! 9PM Largo Los Angeles

Fri 19th With The Reigning Monarchs 11PM Tiax French Restaurant Lounge

Come give me a hug!

It's out!

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The Reigning Monarchs debut is out today. After nearly two years or writing, playing the occasional live show and learning to play guitar correctly the debut album by America's premier skanking, cowboy nior surf band is a reality. And you can have it for a price of your choosing so go get it. Don't be shy if you aint got no money just get the album for free and get sexy!

Justine Ungaro Photo Shoot!

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The Monarchs had and amazing photo shoot with the super talented Justine Ungaro at the haunted Vogue Theatre in Hollywood. There were a few setups here's one using a couch my wife Amiira and friend Elizabelle found on a street corner. It only smelled a little like pee! More pics to come.

The Monarchs Tear Up Taix!

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In what can only be described as one of the best nights of my life the Reigning Monarchs, resplendent in Lagerfeld inspired ties and armbands, rocked through 8 skanky surf noir gems with only a handful of glaring mistakes by yours truly. The old timey ski lodge feel of the Taix Lounge and the crowd of east Los Angeles hipsters, our friends, family and one super meth'd out chick made the night a roaring success that reminded me of my early days as a comic coming up in the alternative comedy scene. The Tulsa Skull Swingers, who headlined the show, are not to be missed. Fronted by a 6'7' skeleton they are the Cramps meets burlesque meets something totally original with no reference point. I hope you will come see us and them when we play there next .It was so fucking awesome. And to those of you that came I am, as always, touched in my happy places!

Worthy Cause!

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Monday Improv Irvine!

Monarchs Gig Friday 15th!

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This Friday May 15th The Reigning Monarchs will have the distinct pleasure of playing with the Tulsa Skull Swingers at the Taix Lounge in Echo Park! Monarchs hit the stage at 1030 PM! Don't let yourself down by missing this event.

My Interview with Olivia Wilder!

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She's Just Not That Into Me!

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Why I know what I know. There is this great story telling show in New York called the Moth. If you are ever there you should check it out. A few years ago they asked me to perform at their show in Aspen Col for the HBO Comedy Arts Festival. I decided to get really honest and explain in full detail why I know what I know about relationships and how dating a foxy well know comic and actress can break your heart and change your life forever. I remember feeling kinda weird about doing it cause it was 100% honest Most of what i do is only 89.7% honest. It was pretty exhilarating and while most people laughed a few actually cried, and that experience alone is why I will take performing live any day over books and TV. It's just my favorite way to relate what I have to offer. Thanx to Moth for posting this! In fact I'd forgotten that I'd done it but I'm glad it resurfaced. This should explain everything!

The Moth

UPDATE!!!

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Untitled from Greg Behrendt on Vimeo.

Black Rattle Available Now!

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They came, they saw, they had chicken dinosaurs...and then they destroyed! Get in on the ground floor of America's premier children's heavy metal band. Six musicians for whom when the dream died they turned to children's music and found they were still lost.GO NOW!

The New Sheridans! BLAINE (1994)

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The New Sheridans from Greg Behrendt on Vimeo.

In 1993 I came to LA with a band called The New Sheridans. We were a new wavey pop combo with big dreams, satin jackets and a really cute singer. We recorded a now hard to find pink 7 inch for Hell Yeah Records! The tracks Blaine B/W New Wave Princess and Action Figure Friday were produced by Steve MacDonald of Redd Kross. We played around Hollywood for a couple of years but it was at the height of grunge and people were more interested in Skin Yard,Tad, Coffee, and herion, I guess. The band is Laura Milligan: Vocals, Mike King: Guitar, Barry Johnson: Bass, Kurt Anderson: Drums, and Greg Behrendt Guitar and awkward dancing. Enjoy!

The Plan and The National Domestic Violence Hotline.

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Seriously thanks for stopping by. With all the Facebooking and Twittering going I'm not sure how many folks still swing by the old site but I'm going long form today to catch you all up with what's happening with me.
I'm wrapping the Totally Into You Tour with four kick ass weekends, Addison Texas, Raleigh, North Carolina, Irvine, California, and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! Something you may not know about coming to see me, besides being knock your d*#k in the dirt funny:) I give a portion of the proceeds from every show to The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Last year alone we were able to raise around 25K! So seeing me helps make a difference for someone other than me and you. In these uncertain times this is more important now than ever. I made this choice two years ago when I began to get more and more e-mails from women in abusive relationships. Because I am a comedian I am not equipped to deal with such problems and so I googled Domestic Violence and this number came up.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)

These are great folks and they can get you help no matter where you are 24/7. So lets spread the love and have a laugh.

Other News!

In the interim we are going to release the Reigning Monarchs debut album followed by a brief California tour. I also will be performing continually here in LA at Largo, Comedy Death Ray, the coolest show in town, and at the Hollywood Improv so FOLLOW me here, there, and everywhere.

My DVD Greg Behrendt Is That Guy From That Thing will be released at the same time it airs on Comedy Central in August.

Plus some big announcements to come!

It's gonna be a great year!

Fun Interview in Punchline Magazine

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Here is the place to go for great profiles on comedy. These guys do a great job. Bookmark them.

Carolines tonight! Fri Sat Sun! See clips from my new Special!

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I love this band and I can't F*%KIN WAIT!

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Here is a little sneak peek. Go greenday.com for more.

Me on Chelsea Lately!

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This really was a lot of fun. I got many e mails about it so y'all must love the show. I felt like I should post my appearance!!! Thanks Chelsea.

Greg On Chelsea Lately from Greg Behrendt on Vimeo.

Times Square!

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Woooooooo. A part of the NYC adscape! So Blade Runner.

This was fun!

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AMC promo!

Nice article in the LA Times

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If you'd like to read it, here it is!

The 10 chick flick cliches not in HJNTIY

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This is pretty funny. Bradley Cooper, Justin Long, and Kevin Connelly show you the top ten chick flick cliches not in the movie! I already kind of know Bradley Cooper but i met Justin and kevin the other week and those guys are fuckin' really funny and really nice. Enjoy.

Special message from Greggers 3

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Gregger's Special Message 3 from Greg Behrendt on Vimeo.

This looks great!

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Special message from Greggers!

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Another Special Message From Greggers from Greg Behrendt on Vimeo.

Ray Romano is a great guy!

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Ray Romano is funny. And one of those people who's success you can't help but be happy for. Moments after this photo was taken I tackled Ray to the ground and ate his eyes

Here it comes!!!

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Greg Behrendt's Wakeup Call! Jan 8 10PM

New Tour Dates!

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Hey Punx and Kittens
Just weeks after finishing what was almost a year and a half tour of the U.S. and Canada Greg is Launching the Greg Behrendt Totally Into You Tour for 09 starting In January. The tour will continue through out the year but here at least are the first 15 dates. You will notice that there are some theaters along the way as well as new places he hasn't toured. We will keep you updated when he is coming to your town as the date draws nearer.

TOUR 09

More announcements!

Greg Behrendt's Wake Up Call starts airing Jan 8 on Soapnet

He's Just Not That Into You Movie Feb 6 Check It!

And enjoy the rest of your holiday!!!"

New Trailer And Official Site for that movie!

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Listen I've seen it and I win no matter how it turns out, but it really is good. This trailer really captures it. Check It! And enjoy the rest of your holiday!!!

TOUR 08 COMES TO A CLOSE!

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Thank you punks and kittens!!! Plans are being made for a big tour for 09. Great shows, reasonable prices, new cities. stay tuned!!!

Big News! Greg back on TV in Jan 09!

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Read all about it!

First Photo From San Jose!

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This guy really should have another show...LOOK at that logo!

Note To Self: Dress Better!

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In this time of tighter wallets and new Presidents I'm sharing with you how we both will dress better for less while not sacrificing our quality masculinity. There are great mostly inexpensive clothes sold here in America and, when accessorized with odds and sods found at punx rox shopz, look as good as those made and sold across the pond. Look right now everyone wants to look like a Jack Kennedy American skanking with a chain wallet and who better to do it than you and me bro. Chain up!
Ties Shirt Glasses Pants Shoes

The rest the bounty(belt wallet) acquired during life spent rocking!! (At J Crew? Really Greg?) or try Here!

And the crowd goes wild!

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Congratulations President Elect Obama!

A Good Question!

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----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Julie
Date: Nov 4, 2008 11:59 AM

Do you have new material? I saw you like a year and a half ago in LA then saw you sometime this year in Irvine. You had a lot of the same material. I would love to come see you in Nov in Irvine or Brea. Will you have a new set?

-Julie =)

Hey Julie
I'm not sure what you saw. I'll tell you this I've spent the last year and a half writing the new hour that I just taped for a DVD/Comedy Central special. I am always moving new peices in and other material out so I can't promise that it will all be new to you. But because Brea is my last date for the year I'm probably gonna do a greatest hits pckage with some old stuff like RIPPED LIKE JESUS, and CRYBABY SPIDERMAN and newer stuff Like CRACKER SAVVY, and CHRIS ANGEL/ I MADE A BIRD! and stuff no one has really heard much like FREEDOM ANTS. I'll also be doing a Q and A at the Thursday and Sunday shows. Hope you'll come either way but if not thank you for being so supportive Julie!
GB

VOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTE

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Please... you will feel awesome if you do. Then get a coffee!

Mission Accomplished In San Jose!

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To all of those who came I want to offer you alll of my punk rock sweater metal love! The first show was great the second show my have been the best set I've ever had and I can't believe it was being filmed! Couldn't have done it without you.

MySpace Secret Show With Pix!

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Go Here! And have your mind blown... or at least your pants.

On My Way To San Jose!

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Hope I see you there ya freakin' punk!

One Week From Tonight!

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I'm in Houston at the Improv tonight finalizing the set that I will tape next Saturday at the San Jose Improv. I hope to see you there.

I want to take a quick moment here to thank everyone who has come out to see me over the past two years. I want you to know you have fortified my confidence and given me the permission to be the ass kicking standup comic I have always dreamt of being. I have to admit to being a little shaken after the cancellation of my talk show. As much as I love folks and love helping them I really identify myself as a comedian, but wasn't sure I'd be able to do it again. It's a funny thing standup, you step off for too long it's hard to get back on Especially when people now perceive you as some sort of self help guy or relationship guru (the press's word not mine). But to be fair I have always tried to carry a message of hope and love in all of my work from Mantastic to HJNTIY. Because I truly believe your life is an awesome gift and that the only one that can fuck it up is you based on the decisions you make, from how you identify yourself as a man or woman to the kinds of people you allow yourself to have relationships with. I also have strong beliefs about chocolate eggs, toasters and chain wallets. And because themes have always been evident in my work it has taken me to a variety of places from Sex And The City to The Greg Behrendt Show from Standup to Instrumental Surf and Ska. I know my career may sometimes be confusing from the outside but the message at the center of it all has always been the same: I LOVE YOU! YOU HAVE ONE LIFE DON"T F#$K IT UP! Thank you for your support and here's to more of you and me kicking ass.

Your Fan
Greg Behrendt

This is how men will be dressing in the near future!

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Mark my words gents. In this downturn economy It's time dress like Wendell "Bud" White and his cohorts from the great movie LA Confidential the 1997 feature film based on the 1990 crime fiction novel of the same title by James Ellroy.

Look you can get the haircut anywhere very inexpensively. This is the kind if cut Supercuts cant fuck up. CHEAP!

Tweed blazers can be purchased at Urban Outfitters for under $100

Both Banana and the Gap carry low priced black and grey slacks.

And Florsheim makes the best old school wing tips!<

Tie clip.

The tie's gonna cost ya!

The Man, A Van, Some fans...my weekend in Jersey!

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1) Messy bed messy head! You can bounce a quarter of my head...and should.
2) I rode from NJ to NYC in this van because I just don't care what people think about me:)
3) This is Carolina Londono and her posse. I have premium grade Fans/Friends! Gentlemen get to a show before they are all taken.

The Sound Of Young America!

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I did this really great radio show when I was in Bumbershoot called the Sound Of Young America hosted by The Awesome Jesse Thorn. Check it out it also features the awesome comic Tig Nataro! Thanks JESSE!

Here is a message I got from a listener this morning:
"walked to work listening to Greg Behrendt on TSOYA. Had to stop &
rest a while - haven't laughed _that_ hard in some time. - Andrew"
Jesse

Go Now!

Holy Shit The New HJNTIY cover!

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This is the new cover for the Christmas release of our Hit Book so pick a copy of the "Classic Cover" before they are gone!

MySPACE SECRET SHOW POSTED!

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CHECK IT! I am:)

Hour Special To Be Shot Nov 1st San Jose Improv

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I will be shooting my new 1 Hour Special and DVD Nov 1st at the San Jose Improv. Get Tix NOW! I promise you that you'll be glad you did! I've been gearing up for this for the past two years. If you've liked the clips I've been posting then you ain't seen nothing yet!

Return to Tempe, Mitch Hedberg, A Great Story

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16 or so years ago I headlined University Of San Francisco and young Mitch Hedberg open the show for me. He went down in flames. Really, the kids just stared at him. Now to be fair I only did marginally better by comparison but the fact is no one should have been paying either of us cash money. But the one thing I remember so clearly was that Mitch had his voice! By that I mean he had a full blown persona with the jokes to back it up and it was only a matter of time before the world would catch up. I was a screaming cursing lunatic with short pants and few actual jokes but Mitch was ...Mitch and I was pretty jealous. Not just because he was funny but he appeared to love what he was doing even when people didn't. That's not easy to do. Mitch loved stand up!

Cut to five years later. I'm opening for Mitch for 4 nights at the Tempe Improv. The shows are all sold out and Mitch is crushing it! People actually have to go outside to catch their breath during his show they were laughing so hard. So on Friday I fly back to Los Angeles to make my first appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I rock it (I gotta say) and fly back to Tempe. I was feeling great but still it's weird to go from the Tonight Show back to opening for someone. The first show that Friday goes great, the second show even better ,then right in the middle of Mitch's set during the second show he stops the show and says."The Tonight Show is a right of passage for any comic. Everyone who gets into comedy wants to be on The Tonight Show. Well today Greg was on it and I think we should watch it." Then they pulled down the big screen and showed my set. It fucking blew my mind. Mitch Hedberg liked standup so much he stopped his show to watch my TV appearance and share it with others. Mitch as you know passed away a couple of years ago and despite all you may or may not have heard about him he was a delight and not just a comedian but a champion of comedians and The Tempe Improv (One of the best clubs in the country) will always remind me of that.
I will be in Tempe for the next four days!

"F%#k him if he doesn't chicken fingers!" Nashville Sept 20th!

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That is a snippet of a conversation I heard passing two women today on Broadway St. the honkey tonk strip of downtown Nashville Tn. And I thought to myself "I like it here" And She's right "Fuck him if he doesn't like chicken fingers." What a pussy. Who wants to go out with low carb guy? Great to see women setting standards for themselves.

Shows are going great! The people here ROCK!

Went to HATCH SHOW PRINT and lost my mind.

Started TWITTERING! It's fun...join me.

Let me twitter you! You will like it.

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Look I know that sounds pervy but I checked with my wife and it's not. It's the new way kids are keeping in touch and I want to be a part of it. I will use it to give you live show updates, TV appearances, and unsolicited and solicited dating advice and ocasionally let you know when new pants are being purchased. It doesn't cost anything so go to it and then I can subscribe to you. TWITTER

Monarchs return to the studio to finish debut album!

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Yesterday Mike Eisenstein and I went into the studio with superstar Drummer Blair Sinta to begin recording the last five trax for our debut Monarchs album due out in early 09. One if not two of the songs will make it on to our myspace page before x mas and we hope you will check them out then! Stay tuned and enjoy and download the music up there now.

This is cool!

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But only one can be president.

Ogden Utah, And A Gift For You!

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In a few days MySpace will post footage and photos from the KILLER Secret Standup show tonight in Ogden Utah at Wiseguys Comedy Cafe. I am telling you the people of Ogden are spectacular, wise, funny, loving folks who like a good shitting in your pants joke. Because you weren't there I have provided you with a new stand up clip called SEX IS ROCK AND ROLL. Please enjoy it here in the front page or download it here!

BUMBERSHOOT!

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Seattle is a beautiful girl that likes herself which is why I love her so much. Here are two snaps I took at the side of the stage Monday night at the 3 day music, arts, and comedy festival. Superchunk were awesome per usual. If you've ever has the the pleasure you know how frenetically rocking these guys are and following them the surprisingly great Death Cab For Cutie! Not pictured David Cross who made this access possible.

Exclusive: He's Just Not That Into You Teaser Poster!

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Look at all the acting firepower!!! Feb 6th Kids. Lets get a group together and go!

This guy!

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I don't care what party you are at, I love you anyway, BUT this what America is or aspires to be. This fella agrees and he was there. Lucky F#%ker.

I go golfing! The sport ceases.

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But sales of madras are on the up swing!

"Behrendt steps up to the t-box....folks its unbelievable what this man can do with a ball and slacks. Thats right Ted we've been talking about it all week, between the mental toughness, the gritty will to win, flawless technique and a unique blending of cashmere and madras...well I think we all know we're watching fashion history unfold. Frank you took the words out of my mouth, wait whats this, we're getting a report from the locker room where apparently a shirtless Phil Michelson has gone on a tirade...Behrendt will do that to you Ted...Behrendt will do that to ya"

Free MP3! God's Lobby!

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Want to know what God's lobby looks like? Get this free downloadable MP3 now! Share with friends.

Greg Behrendt is NEVER NOT FUNNY!

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Now you can watch the hit Jimmy Pardo podcast and his interview with Greg.

PART 1
PART 2
PART 3

Harford Conn.

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For stellar shows! Two Great Nights! Los Of Great People! Killer Club, (Funny Bone) Lightning Storm,Tons of Starbucks.

Flipsides Snack Crakers. HOLY SHIT!

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Pretzel on one side and Townhouse cracker on the other, or try the pretzel and cheddar that takes it up a notch. Seriously I want to meet the guy who thought this up pin a medal on his salty chest and then kill him because his flavor instincts will lead to my untimely death by salt, and because the are the best cracker since Chicken In A Biscuit! They seriously fuck your mouth with flavor. I have sweaty fever dreams about them. So pick up a box and start your new life. "But Greg I'm not a cracker person." Well crawl out from under that rock kiddo and get on the FLIPSIDE of that!

Ripped Like Jesus I am not!

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In about two months I will be shooting a new one hour comedy special! But before I do fatty has to loose 20 pounds! "We don't care Greg" I know but if I post about it it will have to get done otherwise I will loose face instead of ass!

Appleton WI!

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I had a kick ass weekend at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton WI! which is a really cool town. Here are some camera phone pix to prove it.

New Tattoo + Bob Saget = Great Weekend!

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Hey Punks and Kittens!
I got a new tattoo this weekend and it made its public debut at the Bob Saget Roast on Sunday in Los Angeles. I was showing it to my friend Wendy and suddenly everyone started taking pictures of it and asking it questions! It was wild! Suddenly my tattoo was approached by a dozen or so TV and Film execs and put into development for a number of very exciting projects. Then my tattoo went home with John Stamos. I did not. Just goes to show what can happen when you dress better!

P.S. The Roast (where I was just a guest not a roaster) was great! Highlights include Greg Giraldo, Brian Posehn, Jeff Ross and Cloris Leachman!

About My Standup! W/Pix

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I get this question a lot so I thought I'd post about it here.
Hey Greg...

1. I have been telling my girlfriend how great your stand up is. (Its funny how with the book and the show people think you are just another dr phil... Obviously, they dont pay much attention). I want to make sure that you are actually doing your act and that its not just a book tour.

THIS IS A TOUR OF STAND UP! NOT A LECTURE, NOT A SEMINAR, AND NOT A MAN BASHING PARTY. AND WHILE THERE IS A CHUNK DEDICATED TO SEX AND THE AWKWARDNESS OF GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS I ALSO COVER BATMAN, SNACK CRACKERS, FEET AND ELEPHANTS (YEAH THOSE F#*KERS FINALLY GET THEIR COMEUPPANCE!) THIS IS ALSO STANDUP SHOW THAT INCLUDES AT LEAST 50 MINUETS OF NEW MATERIAL AS WELL AS CLASSICS FROM HOUSES OF THE HOLY.

2. Have you added much new material in the act? I will be there regardless.

SEE ABOVE.

Greg

50 MINUETS OF ALL NEW MATERIAL...

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...and a precentage of all monies earned given to National Domestic Violence Hotline. That's my gaurentee to you if you come to see me do stand up this or any weekend. THE MORE PEOPLE THAT COME THE MORE MONEY FOR NDVH! So come on out and make a difference have a laugh and be a good American. spark plug!

Never Not Funny!

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Jimmy Pardo is by far one of the funniest and nicest comics in Show Biz and I had the privilege of being a guest on his "Pardcast" Never Not Funny. Check it out iPod!

Ask Greg Coming To An End!

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Sadly Punks and Kittens all great things must come to an end and also things like Ask Greg. While it has been a total blast I feel the time has come to concentrate on my stand up career. I have really enjoyed and been touched by your questions. Since the demise of the talk show I felt the need to address the many emails that have been sent my way but alas I feel that I have said all there is I have to say. I am putting my career as a fauxish relationship expert to rest and returning to my career in comedy already in progress. I just returned from the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal where it became evident (read review ) to me after 9 shows in 4 days that this is what I love doing the most and really what I'm best at right now. This doesn't mean that there won't be more books it just means I'd prefer to put it into print or in joke form rather than answer questions directly. There will still be two more weeks of Ask Greg and in a couple of days I will tell you about some other great content coming to GregBehrendt.com.
I love you all.
G
P.S. IT'S YOU THAT HAS THE ANSWERS TO YOUR PROBLEMS.

Behind The Scenes Of Ask Greg!

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Here are some snaps of the behind the scenes madness that is Ask Greg. I thought I'd show these to you because it's Tuesday and your curiosity must be peaked at this point why wouldn't it be. So many questions must be swirling around in your beautiful pointed head. Does he really shoot in the garage or on a huge Hollywood sound stage? What's the sign made of? Is it shot by people or replicants with iPhones? Why does Greg do this again? Great questions, all answered here by the photo journalism of Kristen Behrendt.

My Sister Wants To Take Your Picture!

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My sole sibling is going from amateur to pro in the world of Rock/Standup/ and portrait photography and I'm told she works on the cheap. So If your family or band needs to be shot (read: have their pictures taken not have them executed) visit her myspace page and tell her I sent you. Then she will say, "Really 'cause I hate that four eyed poseur." Sure it will be awkward for you but your pictures will come out great! And your career will soar. Look at what it did fo' Brian Setzer.

Dave Anthony. Things that are GREAT!

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Remember when I had that talking show in the daytime? Well one of the writers on that show was a freak named Dave Anthony, you may remember him as the waffle guy, and if you do then you need to join a gym, or get a job or just GO OUTSIDE because your life is swiftly passing before your eyes. I jest of course! Well aside from occasionally coming on tour with me and being one of my closest friends Dave writes a blog and posts really f#&king funny videos like this on the YouTube. Oh, and here is his myspace page that has disturbing pictures of him like the one above. It's not his fault, he's just that beautiful. Go get involved in Dave Anthony you will feel better about your own life. I'm going outside now.

Really! Joyless Purple Afro 'N Ball Hammock With Pink Tank Plus Sandals?

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Last week top designers debuted their 09 spring lines on the runways of Paris and Milan. Once again most of what was shown has nothing to do with any man that I actually know but then again I don't know any eunuch clowns. Don't get me wrong I love the artistic value of fashion and the necessity of creating and re-imagining the modern silhouette. I worship innovative Brooks Brothers revivalist Thom Browne and the Gucci Bond Porn of Tom Ford. Hell I think what John Galliano has done at Christian Dior, while sometimes difficult, is mostly rocktacular, but who the fuck sends a model down the runway like this thinking it has anything to do with anything even slightly relatable to men? But fuck all that! What about the model? Doesn't this guy have parents and or friends? Even a boy or girlfriend? How does he look them in the eye after the spectacle of the joyless purple afro 'n ball hammock with pink tank plus GLADIATOR SANDALS debacle?! "Oh wait do you have a FLOWER FOR MY SHOULDER!? I might get cold out there...oh thanks. Here hold my penis. I won't be needing it after this because no one will ever fuck me again."

See for yourself. There is some cool stuff in the Victor and Rolf collection as well as the Wantanabe.

How To Be Single!

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It's the awesome new novel by my friend and co author of the book He's Just Not That Into You, Liz Tuccillo. It is a spectacular new work of FICTION not self help. It is an awesome read! Specially ifn yer a Chick! Pick it up here.

Happy Fourth! Ask Greg Returns Tuesday July 8th

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I love this country, warts and all! Here are some pix to prove it!

Monarchs on the Radio!

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Local Los Angeles radio station Indie 103.1 is playing the Reigning Monarchs SHORT PANTS FOR FATTY as the music bed for their surf report. The host of their morning their morning show the most excellent punk rock legend and super lawyer Joe Escalante called the Monarchs the "Best celebrity band of all time." We are flattered Joe! Now if I was only a celebrity. But let me return the compliment. Joe's show The Last Of The International Morning Shows is by far the coolest and most genuinely entertaining morning shows on radio. No shouting, no pranks just good interviews great music and a host who's own life experiences are interesting enough that he doesn't have to get an intern to eat 300 hot dogs in the nude while living in a jelly filed VW bug for a month with a tranny stripper named Crystal Beth just to get listeners to pick up a bumper sticker. Thank you Joe! New Monarchs Track! COWBOY SHIRT

P.S. For those of you that don't know Joe is the Bassist for punk rock superstars The Vandals

RINGTONES ARE COMING!

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Listen I know if you own a copy of "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" that there are ringtones that accompany the book and you want them. I get it! We had them and then my deal with Warner Brothers ended and they took them down. They were, by the way, shitty and you had to pay for them! I promise you that by mid July they will be available FOR FREE! Ok? Cool. I'm sorry about the inconvenience. I know you are going through a shitty breakup and you need my sturdy voice telling you not to take that call and to just hang in there kiddo. In the mean time enjoy the free ASK GREG RING TONE by punk rock mom Kay Hanley.

Really! Your F#@king FEET!

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So I'm happily on my way to Cleveland for the weekend to perform my skits at Hilarities Comedy Club and this dude on the plane takes his nagly dogs out. Fuckin' public toes! Not in sandals but free to roam on their own up the back of the seat of the guy in front of him! While he puts an Eagles cd in his discman!!!!! ????Too many violations. Dude really do we all get a taste? Don't believe me? Check the photo!

Cleveland! I'm excited to see you so please wear shoes.

Looking For A BADASS Drummer!

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If you drum and you are a BADASS (all caps) and you live in the Dayton Ohio area then you are in f@#king luck. Here's what you have to do "sticks," you must immediately call the number pictured here. DO NOT WAIT! Remember you must be BADASS. If you are excellent but can not make with the BADASSERY needed, then you can go f@#k yourself with a spoon. But if you are a stone washed actual BADASS I wish you great luck. Hit me up on Myspace when you get the gig and then continually send my flyers about your shows and eventually I'll block you because I'm not a BADASS.

Love and some 45's!
Greggers

These photos were taken this weekend during my two night stand in Dayton Ohio where my rotting corpse couldn't draw flies.

Largo Film This Sunday!

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A new and excellent documentary about the famed music and comedy venue responsible for so many of the great comics working today premieres at the LA Film Festival this Sunday June 12th. To get tix click here! And to see the trailer click aqui! The film elegantly captures the vibe of one of the most important venues in Los Angeles if not the U.S. and Canada and features performances by Paul F Tompkins, Sarah Silverman, Fiona Apple, Patton Oswalt, Jon Brion as well as yours truly. So go see it ya punk!

Greg's LA Weekly Interview!

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It's a riot! CLICK HERE

Tim Russert

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I only just became a real political junkie this past year, so I was unexpectedly saddened today to hear about the passing of Tim Russert. I say unexpectedly because I hadn't really given much thought to how much I I liked him. Oddly I had just arrived at KPCC the NPR station in Pasadena to appear on Pat Morrisons' political talk show Comedy Congress with Marc Maron (who I also like) and the Producer said we were going to start a little late because Tim Russert had just had a heat attack and died. And it really hit me harder than I expected to. You know there are those people you watch everyday on the news and you begin to build a relationship with them weather you want to or not. I guess i had built one of those with Tim as I obsessively watched MSNBC waiting for what incredible thing would happen in what has to be the best primary race of all time.

I really loved watching the guy. His enthusiasm for politics was inspiring but it was his enthusiasm for his job I liked even more. It's the way I feel about stand up right now. He seemed glad to be sharing the gift of his insight and I'm bummed I will not get to see more of him.

Welcome to the All New Gregbehrendt.com

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The coffee is hot and there's creamer in the fridge. I, for some reason, have decided to wear a hat in honor of your visit and my slow journey into old age...Ska Ska Ska!

Check out the He's Just Not That Into You trailer!

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Click here to watch the trailer now.

We are now officially different!

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This is a very cool time to be alive.

Cake Shake! It's in Chicago!

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Chocolate Cake Shake! Ryan Budds, Blaine Capatch!!!

I love you!

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Because of you all I/we have raised close to $10,000 dollars for local charities this year. It may not sound like much but it's only May. My promise to you who are spending your hard earned money to see me is that when I do well others must also do well. This weekend in Chicago we are raising money for the Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance. Remember the more people that come the MORE MONEY we make for this very worthy cause that affects the very young so BRING SOME FRIENDS TO SEE GREG! You will not be disappointed.

Black Rattle Is headed back into the studio!

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Hey fans of misguided children's music in heavy metal form! My other band Black Rattle who make an appearance at the end of my DVD Uncool are finally making plans to head back into the studio to finnish their debut album tentatively titled The Tyranny Of Recess. If you have not experienced the Rattle do so now and enjoy free downloads of Itsy Bitsy Spider and Where Is Thumbkin? Go here! The album should be out by Christmas!

New Monarchs Song!

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Cuffed and Linked

Read This!

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Punx and Kittens!

Can you hardly believe it? It's Tuesday and as you have now become accustomed the new Ask Greg is up and it's a fiery one. Starting next week I'm going to start e mailing you less as I fear I may become annoying but like a boyfriend who's been flakey in the past I'm just trying to show you how consistent I've become in an effort to win your heart. Plus the Ask Greg's are really good

That said, the one of the reasons for the Ask Greg's and the e mails is to keep you intrigued and connected until I come to your town at which time you will need to come see me do standup, meet me, get a book signed, ask me a question, bring a friend and just generally have the best evening of your life while we raise MONEY for a good cause. Sincerely I can't really guaranty it will be the best evening of your life but it'll be in your top 5 for 08. The point is I'm trying to turn my standup tour into not just another guy doing standup but a comedy love and money making machine fueled by you ( The Uncool Army) and driven by me (The Uncool) to raise money for those who desperately need it! So far we've been selling tix like mad and selling out shows and giving money to great causes like H. Lee Moffitt Cancer Center & Research Institute in Tampa last weekend. See below for dates for your town. Get on the mailing list if you haven't yet.

And to those of you who have supported me from whenever you got on the Uncool Bus a humble 'Thank you' from the bottom of my heart. If I was there I'd buy you a steak. Unless you are a vegetarian, then you would say "I don't eat meat." and I'd say "I'm so sorry do you want to go somewhere else?" and then you'd say no "I'll just get a salad." and I'd say "I feel bad." and then you'd say if you felt bad you would have asked before you made reservations and Dave's All Meat Rumpus Room home of the Meat salad." I then I would just stare at my feet.

Love G

Like I f@#ked a swan!

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Here are some images from my spectacular trip to Tampa Fla. Not pictured are the awesome crowds and the great staff that populated the Improv in my two night stand there. A hightlight was Charley's steakhouse. Holy sh#t! I had a New York strip that was so good it was almost pornographic. It was so good I felt like I'd done something wrong the next morning. Like f@#ked a swan. Or shived a drifer clown. Guilty is what I'm getting at. I highly recommend Charleys the next time you find yourself in Tampa. It's a trip back in time before meat was evil and salads were made of only lettuce.

In Tampa this weekend!

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Only two nights so get your tix ! Here is a picture of the greatest guy in the world...with his dad! ha ha I'm a dick. This is possibly the coolest guy living and he just happens to be my dad.

Tim Lincecum

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Suddenly I'm watching baseball again! Go Giants!

I laughed until I cried!

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Doug Benson, Morgan Murphy, Laura Kightlinger, Karen Kilgariff (appearing with me in San Francisco this weekend) Moi, Dana Gould, Jim Gaffigan, Todd Glass, Janeanne Garofalo and finally Jon Brion and Fiona Apple. All photo's by my sister Kristen Behrendt. Who rocks.
Viva Flanny!

Pete Dorherty just released from jail!

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I've never looked this good. I need to get sent to jail.

Black Keys

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In Fla doing stand up and listening to the Black Keys. Holy Shit is this a great record, Black Keys Attack and Release. Get it!

The Last Largo Show Monday the 5th

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On Monday the 5th I will be performing my last set of stand up at the old largo at 432 N Fairfax Ave in Hollywood. The club will be moving to the Cornet theatre on La Cieniga in June and while I'm sure the move is the right thing for the club I can not tell you how important this particular room has been to me and the many others that have not just performed there but actually "become" who they are there. People like Sara Silverman, Paul F Thompkins, Tenacious D, Patton Oswalt, Zach Galifinakis to name a handful not to mention the hundreds of musicians including Jon Brion and The Reigning Monarchs who probably wouldn't have ever happend were it not for the club. I have never played in a room where there was so much love and respect for the artists at work. The man responsible for Largo is Mark 'Flanny' Flanagan who's love of music and comedy is so pure one gets the feeling that he is living his dream and I for one and eternally grateful that he has let me be a part of it. I love you Flanny! And lastly the people who frequent Largo. Club has it's own fans that have not only kept it alive but kept the people who perform there on their toes. Thank all of you who have supported me/us there. I look forward to seeing you at the new club. Here's to the future!

Cupcacon!

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There is a God! I thought I made him up.There is a God

Patton Oswalt is Great!

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I have been a standup for 19 years. I love what I do and I wouldn't change it. Well no that's not true I wouldn't change most of it. But last night I performed at Largo in LA with Patton Oswalt who I've known for about 17 years and while I have always been a fan last night he became a hero. I can't really put a finger on why other than he's just really really good at what he does. He really cares about the craft of stand up. He turns his material over regularly and he gets better. he doesn't need to get better but he does. And the thing that struck me last night is how much he seems to be doing it for the love of it. I'm not saying Patton is not ambitious you better be if you are going to have a career in show business but his stand up comes from a pure place. A purely funny place. I get asked a lot who my stand up influences are and I really don't have an answer because I was only a moderate comedy fan growing up. My friends and family were all really funny but we were all into music. So when I answer that question I can really only mention my peers. But Patton is not a peer he's fuckin Led Zepplin and I am Johnny Hates Jazz HA HA!. Today Patton Oswalt is my Hero! Who is yours?

In typical Largo style there were surprises lat night including Flight of the Conchords and Janeanne Garofalo. What a fucking night. Wish you had been there,

Go OBAMA

All Photos BRIAN PUTNAM

Kansas City! BBQ! Stand Up! and more

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Happy Friday Hot Shots! I'm in Kansas City eating at Arthur Bryant's and performing at the Improv so please come out see me and help support Synergy Services Inc. They are a a group that helps to break the cycle of violence here in the Kansas City area. They do good work so lets help them out.

New Ask Greg! The reports are in people are loving the Ask Greg's so we are gonna keep making them. Keep sending your questions!

Monarchs Monday Largo with Patton Oswalt.

ASK GREG RETURNS

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Every Tuesday and Friday...til we run out of money to shoot them. Ask Questions and watch episode 1 today. They get better trust me! Thanks for your patience and your support you beautiful freaks. Keep sending in your questions.

Hey I'm Back!

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In Pittsburgh tonight, tomorrow night and Saturday. Come check it out it's my first time here and I'm amped to take on the Stanley Cup tomorrow night and sell ti!. Remember when you come out you are also supporting a local charity. This week we are helping out a young young kid named Kody Conley. Lets help Kody out OK? See you there. Bring a book, get a photo...whatever let's raise some money!

ASK GREG to return next week. We shot six episodes last weekend and hopefully you will love them keep sending in your questions.

GREG ON LA INK THURSDAY

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TLC 10/9 central! Owwwwwww

Check It OUT!

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Monarchs Review Here

Kirkland Rocks

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4 stellar shows in Kirkland Wa, this weekend all sold out and all raisnig money for the Boys and Girls Club of Kirkland. Thanks to everyone who came out I had a really great time. I'll am officially on vacation for the next two weeks but when I return there will be all new and vastly improved ASK GREGS, new tour dates, Reigning Monarchs shows,and a couple of great announcements. See Ya SOON!

Monarchs At Work

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Today Mike Eisenstein and I started laying down guitar tracks for five new Monarchs Jams that will be posted here hopefully sometime in early April. I’m sure this is one of those posts that is more interesting for me to write than it is for you to read because only I have heard the music but HOLY SHIT IS IT AWESOME! Or at least let me put it this way, this is the kind of music I hoped I’d someday make if I ever in fact made music. No Doubt, John Berry, The Clash, Thom Browne, The Atlantics, Hugo Montenrgro, The Green Hornet, Dick Dale, Ennio Morricone, Chris Isaak, The Stray Cats, Desmond Dekker The Specials, Ralph Lauren, have all had a hand in helping inform what comes next, our moment is upon us...Let The Monarchs Reign!!

Super Update!

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So much happening that we want to bring you up to date with. Greg is going into the studio this week with the Monarchs to continue work on full album of Hugo Montenegro meets the Clash style instrumental jams and then it's off Kirkland Washington for two nights of stand up. Following that gig Greg will be on a much needed vacation inside a Cadburry Creme Egg and during that time there will be no Ask Greg's as the this website will be under going major construction. Ask Greg WILL RETURN THE WEEK OF APRIL 6th with a whole new look. They will also be posted on youtube and possibly myspace but you can only ask questions here at Gregbehrendt.com Please continue to submit your questions.

Greg is also continuing to support local charities and this weekends gig in Kirkland supports the Boy's and Girls club so if you live in the area go have a laugh and support the cause.

There are some very exciting things brewing this year for Greg and we will keep you posted. Thanks not only for your support but also for the money you raise anytime Greg does a gig. You are all ripped like Jesus.

New Ask Greg! And the future of Ask Greg.

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Hey Punx and Kittens. I'm very sorry about the delay in getting the AG up. I'm juggling a lot of stuff right now and It's not as easy as I thought it was going to be. That said I am going to continue, but be patient. I've gotten hundreds of e mails and It takes time to sort through them all. Starting next week I will also be posting on youtube so you can use the forum there to discuss your problems. Remember the questions don't have to be relationship only. The new AG is a little lofi but the prodution value is about to get better. ROCK.

Monarchs Tear Up Largo!

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The Reigning Monarchs rocked 432 N Fairfax Ave again Friday with new songs, new stories and special guests like Jon Brion (Producer Kanye West, Composer of film scores like Magnolia and Eternal Sunshine, and singer song writer) Buddy magician Derek Hughes and Comedian Andy Kindler. Greg will announce another Monarch's gig here soon as the band prepares to go into the studio and make headway on their debut album. New songs played Friday night include Cowboy Shirt, and Short Pants For Fatty! Please enjoy the photos below. They are the work of official band photographer Brian Putnam.

ASK GREG will go up later today (God Willing)

ASK GREG NOW ON MONDAYS

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Broken Hearted Punx and Curious Kittens.
Ask Greg has been moved to Mondays as it is easier to produce on the weekend and because it may at some point be moved onto a studio with a live band. So check back this Monday for your answers! Sorry for the inconvenience. As always I love you.

Hey L.A. MONARCHS tonight with Buddy, Andy Kindler, and Derek Hughes! Plus new songs.

Monarchs to Rock Largo

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Friday the 7th with Alt comic magician Derek Hughes and more TBA! Come get a taste of the future!

Greg and Amiira ON THE AIR!!

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If you are in the Reno area or going to be near a computer on Wednesday and Thursday night make sure to tune in and hear Greg and Amiira on Magic 95.5 FM in Reno. Greg and Amiira are going to be hosting their very own show from 7-11 PM PST on both nights. They will be taking questions on the air and playing some hits! If you missed Ask Greg make sure to call in and get your questions answered live on the air! Rock on!

Call In:
775.829.0955

Internet Stream:
Magic95.com

Hey Punks and Kittens...

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Hey Punx and Kittens,

Ask Greg did not happen this week because my computer up and died like much like the second season of Ugly Betty so I was unable to answer any of the many emails you sent BUT fear not I will return next Friday with a kick as version of Ask Greg. Meanwhile I will trudge through the snowy steets of NYC in my Chucks like the so cal idiot I am. Please come see me at the Gotham Comedy Club if you are in NYC.

I love you.

GB

Happy Vanentines Day

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From all of us here at gregbehrendt.com this is for you

LA INKED

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Of the great things i have done this one was the most painful. On Friday I had the the pleasure of being tattooed by the the beautiful and uber talented Hanna Atchison I don't want to reveal the tattoos here so you'll have to watch when it airs. I would say getting tattooed for me is among the great joys in life. I have around 10 not including the Anna Nicole Smith holding a chimp tattoo I took off with a carrot peeler.

ALSO It appears the Ask Greg was a great success so keep your e mails coming and I'll post more answers this Friday,

Hey! You Better Ask Greg!

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It's here Punx and Kittens! I answered more than the 5 promised questions and enjoyed the fuck out of doing it. Did I answer yours? Better check. There will be more broadcasts so keep the questions coming and know that if I didn't answer yours I still lurve you.

Thom Fuckin' Browne

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Fashion so crazy that it makes people mad! Hat's off Thom.

Thank You Denver!

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Hey Money. As you my know stand up serves two purposes, one to get you come and see how hilarious I am and enjoy stories about Love Sex Pudding etc. and two is to raise money and awareness of local charities. Well in Denver we succeeded to the tune of 5 sold out shows at the Comedy Works and we raised a couple grand for Safe House Denver. So I humbly thank you. Safe House Denver

IMPORTANT! Watch Intro Video for Ask Greg

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Rules for Ask Greg!

1)Ask anything.
b)Be brief but not vague.
III)Watch this!Watch this!

Or watch intro video at the top of front page!

Big Friday With The Reigning Monarchs

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Here are some pics from Big Friday With The Reigning Monarchs, It was a blast! Playing with the band is possibly my favorite thing to do in the whole world. We played all three songs from the Myspace page as well as Steady As She Goes by the Raconteurs, the theme from The Office (America) and a new Original called Cowboy shirt. I wore an argyle sweater and sliver shoes because I'm awesome. Joining the party was surf punk guitarist Laramie Dean, Nick Swardson, B.J. Novak, Karen Killgarif, and a guy I had never seen before named Nick Kroll. Nick apparently was on the Cavemen show which I never saw but man his standup is fantastic. He's one of those guys that makes me think "Why do I bother?" But then I remember "Because I have really good shoes. We are planning to do more of the big Fridays so stay tuned. (Photos by Brian Putnam)

Back in Los Angeles!!!

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Hey Punks and Punkettes,

(Happy Monday Luther King Day to you. Just returned from Ogden Utah where CHRIS FAIRBANKS and I crushed 4 awesome shows before the some of the most generous, enthusiastic, attractive, and comedy savvy crowds it's ever been my pleasure to perform for. If I shoot another special sometime soon, I'd seriously consider doing it in Ogden. Below are some images from my trip taken with the shitty camera in my cell phone.

Hey, one of the things I'm doing while I'm on the road is trying to raise money for local charities in the area that I'm performing in. This past weekend we raised $1000 bucks for The Granger High School Cheerleaders who won a chance to go to the nationals in cheerleading but haven't got the money. If this sounds like something you might feel good about contributing to here is the address below.

A donation of any size can be sent to:
Granger High School
Attn: Cheerleaders
3690 South 3600 West
West Valley City, UT 84119

Two Los Angeles Shows this week. I will be old and trying to hard at the UCB theatre in Holloywood Tuesday night 9 PM and my band THE REIGNING MONARCHS will be playing Friday at Largo at 9 PM with Karen Kilgariff a hugely funny comedian who also happens to be the head writer for Ellen, magician and comic freakshow Ron Lynch, Reno 911!'s Nick Swardson and B.J. Novak comedian and Ryan from NBC's The Office.

This is not a Bring The Rock I'm just on the show playing music and telling stories. More about this later...

News!!

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Here are some images from West Palm Beach. The fellow in the foto is Laramie Dean Souther, Florida's King of Surf Guitar. Check him out here and for a quick primer HERE, HERE and HERE . Bonzai!

Click Here for Laramie's Myspace

Where's the genius gone?

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Here's what's frustrating for me, Pancake. I have always been a believer that the cream will rise to the top. I never really believed the whole commonly held belief that there are a million great bands/actors/ artists that will go unnoticed because the world either doesn't understand them, they never got a break, or whatever. When something resonates it just resonates and there is no stopping it, like Tyra. Ok maybe not Tyra. But having been on both sides of it (He's Just Not That Into You resonated, The Greg Behrendt Show did not), I always felt my assertion was right, that is until about six months ago at the urging of a friend I bought Let Go by Nada Surf. If you don't know them or think you know the name they had a song called POPULAR that MTV played a lot around the same time Weezer's Sweater song was en vogue. It was sort of a novelty song and so I never investigated beyond that point...my mistake and perhaps everyone else's.

Holy shit !

I can't even find the words to describe them correctly. I always find the more I am rocked by something emotionally the harder it is for me to put into words but if you like the kind of romantically charged indie fare they like to use on Grey's Anatomy or 6 Feet Under or if you possess a human heart then you will wonder as I do why these guys aren't the best band in America. Check out INSIDE OF LOVEfrom Let Go and I think you'll get it. So I guess I'm wrong, sometimes genius goes unnoticed. It's makes me wonder what else is out there that I have missed.

Thoughts?

West Palm Beach Florida!

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Hey Punks and Kittens!

Happy New Year!! It's already Jan 8th and I'm back on the road. On Jan 10th I'll be in West Palm Beach, Florida at the Improv. My life is pretty sweet. There are some exciting things brewing in my world that I will be announcing here at GregBehrendt.com as well as on my Myspace page. If you have visited either site and felt like no one is home I apologize but that will change on 08. In Feb there will be an all new Gregbehrendt.com and it will be much more interactive and I will be talking questions both relationship and otherwise (Like who's more ripped Obama or Jesus?). In the immediate future I will be blogging and adding video to the site.

Stay tuned for exciting news and ponies the size of hope!

Greg's Myspace Page

This Past Weeekend Rocked...

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Punks and Kittens,

BRT was by all accounts a total success! Thank all of you that came out and supported not only me, Patton, Sarah and the Reigning Monarchs but also Musicares. That will be my final performance for 07 and I want to thank anyone and everyone who supported me this year.

This has been, in many ways a tough time for me for both personal and professional reasons but to those of you who have stuck by me, I LOVE YOU. Expect great things for yourself in '08 and look for video from BTR the coming days.

Happy Holidays!!!!!!

Bring The Rock!!

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Yes, yes, Bring The Rock is back and better than ever! Greg will be performing with his band the Reigning Monarchs and special guests Sarah Silverman and Patton Oswalt next Saturday night, December 15th at 9PM, at Largo in Los Angeles.

There are only a couple of tables left so make sure to make a reservation soon!

LARGO

HOTLANTA!

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Hey Punks and Southerners,

I'm in Roswell, GA this weekend. First time performing in Georgia since working on the film Dumb and Dumberer, so I'm adding to a rich history of comedy. I was cut out of the movie because God loves me.

Hope to see you there be sure to bring your books for signing!

Where's Greg

Just For Laughs Tour 2007!! Canada here we come...

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Heading to Canada today with my old man, and I'm also taking my dad.

The tour starts Nov 1 in Hamilton and starting right here at GregBehrendt.com I'll be up loading tour footage, interviews and live sets as GregBehrendt.com joins the 21 century with original digital media and upskirt shots. What?

Stay tuned lovers, it's all happening starting Nov 1 at GregBehrendt.com. That's tomorrow, barstool!

CLICK HERE FOR TOUR DETAILS

Philly!!!

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Philly Tonight, Tomorrow Night and Saturday!

Hey Philly Soul, show me some brotherly love by coming out to Helium Comedy Club this weekend. There are still some tix left so hop off your barstool and run through the rain to get-'em you will not be disappointed I am as hot as a pistol right now. Bring a book get it signed or pick up an autographed copy of UBCOOL because I love you.

Click Here For Tickets

Oh Canada!

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Greg will be touring Canada November 1-18! Yes, that's right, almost a full month with the Canucks! Greg will be touring with the 2007 Just for Laugh's Lipton Comedy Tour. The lineup is awesome.

Make sure to check out WHERE's GREG for dates and the official website for details.

2007 Just For Laughs - Lipton Comedy Tour

UCB Thursday Night in Los Angeles!

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Come and check out Greg on Jimmy Pardo's Running Your Trap on Thursday October 11th at The Upright Citizen's Brigade in Los Angeles!!

You've seen other talk shows... well its is a lot like those: There is an opening, there is a sidekick, there are interviews with entertainers and sometimes... some video clips. The only difference? This talk show is hosted by Jimmy Pardo!

CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS

Sacramento!!!!

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Greg is at the Sacramento Punchline this weekend. Bring your books and get 'em signed. Oh, and don't forget to laugh your ass off!!

CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS

Hermosa...this weekend!!

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Hey Flip Flop, get your ass to Hermosa beach this weekend to see me do standup in shorty tuxedo pants and metal wrist cuffs.

"Say Greg, why do I give a shit about what you'll be wearing?"

Who knows cake lover just get your tickets while they last and listen to me on Indie 103 Thursday morning.

"Wow there's a lot of me, me, me, here Greg!"

Fair enough rough rider, did I ever tell you your smile is winning.

Here's a video CLICK HERE TO WATCH VIDEO to confuse you.

Tour Dates, Tour Dates, Tour Dates!!!

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Greg is back on the road! First stop, Houston September 20-22. Get tix now BUY TICKETS !! He will be touring all the way until early December, so check and see if he's coming to your town WHERE'S GREG?? . In a few days we will post Canadian dates. If you live in Los Angeles get tix to see the premiere performance of Greg Behrendt And His Reigning Monarchs December 15th at Largo. It will be a comedy rock spectacular, not unlike Bring The Rock.

Sep. 20, 2007 to Sep. 22, 2007
Houston, Texas
Houston's Laff Stop

Sep. 27, 2007 to Sep. 29, 2007
Hermosa Beach, California
The Comedy & Magic Club

Oct. 4, 2007 to Oct. 6, 2007
Sacramento, CA
Sacramento Punchline

Oct. 25, 2007 to Oct. 27, 2007
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Helium Comedy Club

Nov. 30, 2007 to Dec. 02, 2007
Atlanta (Roswell), GA
Funny Farm Comedy Club

BACK IN TOWN...

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Just back from an awesome week. I was back east in New York for a taping of the Tim Gunn Show for Bravo, and then on to D.C. for five sold out shows at the Improv!!!

I will be announcing new tour dates soon. Please get you tickets soon as the shows have been selling out!

Why does Lincoln look like he's in the champagne room of a strip club getting a disappointing lap dance. Maybe it's just me.

What's going on...

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Since the talk show people have been asking me "What's next?" and the answer is standup. I have never had the opportunity to tour like I am now so I intend to take full advantage of it. I'm turing over new material and having a fucking blast. So please, come see me when I get to your town you will not regret it. Standup is one of the best live mediums there is. Get your butt to a comedy club now! Get on the mailing list if you are not already on it ,and keep coming back here as I intend to start adding new live clips.

Check Out Greg's Tour Dates Here

Hometown: San Francisco!

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Greg will be playing 6 shows this weekend in San Francisco from July 26-29. Make sure you come out and show your support, and like always BRING YOUR BOOKS to be signed!!

COBB'S COMEDY CLUB click here

Chicago!!!!

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The fury that is Greg Behrtendt will be in Chicago for the first time this weekend at the Improv, July 13th and 14th.

Do not miss this opportunity! Bring books and get 'em signed! If you don't belive us just look at this quote from Greg's MySpace page.

"oh shit. i'm a fan of yours i've watched your shit on comedy central before. i aggree with most your shit. keep on rockin. "

-Jeremy Burris

GREG'S MYSPACE PAGE

New Dates, LA, Sacramento, Hermosa, Atlanta!!

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Make sure to check out Greg on tour. He has just announce more cities for 2007!!

You can also check him out at some AWESOME local shows in the Los Angeles area.

Make sure to check out the WHERE'S GREG for details.

ROCK!!!

Back In Town...

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Hey! I'm back from a much needed vacation in Hawaii. That's me and my brother in law Curt burning crab legs on the grill. Afterwards we would take that surfboard to the beach and teach the locals a thing or two, about a thing or two. I'm in Ft. Lauderdale Fla. this weekend which I'm really excited about and I've also just added two LA Shows Next week.

CHECK OUT WHERE'S GREG

Largo Last Saturday Night...

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Here are some pix from Greg's show at Largo Saturday night. Greg unvield his new band The Reigning Monarchs and also perfomed a number with Grant Lee Phillips. A sizeable good time was had by all. Greg will return to Largo at least 3 more time this year with Bring The Rock! while the Love Sex Pudding Death Tour rolls through the rest of the country. Get on the mailing list to get tour updates and Greg Behrendt News. And as always...thanks for stopping by.

DENVER THIS WEEKEND!

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Come see my new tattoo, some stand up and get your books signed in Denver this weekend.

CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS

Get your books signed...

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Come see Greg on tour! He will be signing books after every show. So, bring your books to the club and be prepared for some hilarious new material…

Tix are still available for this weekend’s New York shows, so get ‘em while they’re hot!!!

NYC TICKETS

LOVE, SEX, PUDDING, DEATH Tour Schedule

Check this out...

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Hey,

My friend Mark Rivers has a new show called "Let's Fish" and it is airing this Sunday night, Monday morning, at 12:30 am on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Mark is tragically funny. Please check this shit out.

G

ADULT SWIM

Chemistry.com Blogs are up...

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Hey Guys,

Greg and Amiira's first installment of blogs are up on Chemistry.com. Make sure you check them out!!

CLICK HERE TO READ

Match.com Launches Chemistry.com...

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As of Wednesday April 25th Match.com will launch Chemistry.com and Greg and Amiira will be featured bloggers on the site. Chemistry is a new site from the team at Match.com, designed especially for people who are actively seeking meaningful, long-term relationships.

Greg and Amiira will be blogging about various topics each week. Make sure to CHECK IT OUT starting Wednesday April 25th!!!

Stand Up...

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Ticket Sales were intially slow in San Jose this past weekend and it may have been because of the way I was billed. However by the time showtime came the shows were packed. I shot some video and will have it up here later this week. There's lots of new material and totally new pants. TICKETS are still avaliable for Boston this weekend but get 'em quick! And don't forget to bring your book and get it signed.

Love Sex Pudding Death

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So, I'm in the awesome process of creating a whole new hour of standup called Love Sex Pudding Death. The whole premise of the show is, if I had only one hour to tell you everything I'd learned about life this is what I would tell you! So, get to the club to find out and you will not be disappointed. I'm really psyched to start this this Friday at the IMPROV in San Jose, CA. I will be touring throughout the summer and I hope to meet you in your city! Tell your friends and keep checking back here for ticket giveaways, meet and greets, book signings and new pants. If you are not already, get on the mailing list!!!

Air Guitar Nation!!

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Hey, I'm in this movie. Huh? Why? Beacuse I love and am skilled at air guitar. I was asked to host a couple of the Air Guitar events in Los Angeles and some how my fat ass eneded up in this hilarious movie...So go see it!

What?!?!

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Holy Motherfuckin' Shit!!!! They come in ORANGE! Kill everyone so I can have more.

Comedy, comedy, comedy...

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Last night, Monday the 19th. I performed at Largo in Los Angeles with PATTON OSWALTand NICK SWARDSON. Better your lives and get involved with them if you have not already. They are two of the funniest men currently living in Nort America.

Tomorrow night I return to Largo to bestow my gift at Ben Lee's show benefiting 826 LA. It is a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting students ages 6 to 18 with their creative and expository writing skills, and to helping teachers inspire their students to write. It's a very cool cause and Ben Lee is a pop song writing superstar! Also I will be auctioning off something special...like my pants.

New Blog!

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CHECK IT OUT!

Keep Watching The Greg Behrendt Show...

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So, three weeks after it's cancellation The Greg Behrendt Show is getting its highest ratings. And it's thanks to you. The show has slowly, yet consistently grown, but the last couple of weeks have been awesome. The show will continue to run through the summer. So, please tell a friend and keep watching!! The better the numbers, the better chance of getting on TV again someday. Thanks!

Show at Largo ANNOUNCED!

postmaster@gregbehrendt.com

On Saturday night I performed a speedy F#%K filled set at the Uncabaret at M Bar. It was awesome to get on stage again in Los Angeles. Sad as I am to see the talk show go, I am equally as excited to get back on stage.

I will be doing a special NON Bring The Rock Greg Behrendt Standup Extravaganza and recital at Largo on May 26th. There will be special guests, a truck load of new material (Including but not limited to Anal Sex, Hot Dogs, Neck Tattoos and Andy Garcia) and possibly a band. So, please even if you pray to your God he can't help you, you can still only make reservations by calling Largo (323)852-1073.

Bring The Rock will return later this summer so stay tuned...

LARGO

TOUR ANNOUNCED!!

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Check out Where's Greg? to find out if he'll be touring in your city!!

Click Here For Details

Update

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Hey Punks, Kittens and Fans of the TGBS,

I have good and bad news for you. The good news is that there will be ALL NEW EPISODES OF THE GREG BEHRENDT SHOW airing in February. The bad news is that these will be the last new shows of The Greg Behrendt Show as the show will not be returning next season. That's right, so feel free to congratulate me on my excellent cancellation...thank you. You are sweet.

I want to say that I loved doing this show. I genuinely cared about the people who came on the show, and I loved the fact that we could take TV money and change people's lives. I loved the people that I worked with. I loved the suits and the ties. But mostly I loved that every once in awhile we were making TV that no one else was making, both emotional and funny. I'm proud of that. That being said, one year of daytime TV is enough. The genre was too restrictive for my particular voice and interests. I'd like to use the F-WORD every once in awhile and talk about the The Silversun Pickups. I don't know that, had it stayed on, we'd have gotten to make the show I wanted to make. I don't know what's next in terms of TV, or that there will be more TV. As it turns out, I don't control TV or anyone other than myself except for one of my dogs who's super co-dependent. So, what's next you ask? Well, Amiira and I are knee deep in the new book, IT'S JUST A F@#&ING DATE, which is scheduled to come out in the fall. On Monday the 5th I will be announcing my tour dates, which should take me somewhere near your neck of the woods, and of course you can tune in to see repeats of the The Greg Behrendt Show which will continue airing until mid-September. To all of you that supported the show I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope to see you on the road.

Continue Rocking,

Greg

December 26th He's Just Not That Into You,The Newly Expanded Edition in Bookstores!!

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Check it out on Amazon.com!

What's new?

postmaster@gregbehrendt.com

Hey Punks and Kittens,

I seem to be getting the same question all the time so i thought I'd answer it now. Yes, I'm still doing stand up. I'll be doing Bring The Rock on December 9th at Largo in Los Angeles. The lineup will be posted later this week. And I have a 10 city tour planned for Spring/ Summer 07. All new jokes, all new lies, all new exaggerations, same old shoes. Stay tuned and get on the mailing list!

Hope you are rocking!

Greg is back at it again!

postmaster@gregbehrendt.com

Greg is never too busy to revisit his roots. He will be performing stand up twice this month in the Los Angeles area and will be doing his Bring The Rock show at Largo in December . If you're in town make sure to check him out!!!

If you miss these dates, don't worry. Check back soon to see if Greg will be visiting your city on his spring comedy tour in 2007!!

Thursday November 9th
7 PM
Musicares Benefit - Clare Tribute Dinner
Casa Del Mar Hotel
Santa Monica, CA

Sunday November 12th
8 PM
Stand Up For A Cure Diabetes Benefit
Improv
Holllywood, CA

Saturday December 9th
Bring The Rock
Largo
Hollywood, CA

HEY, I NEED YOU!!

postmaster@gregbehrendt.com

I have a daytime talk show. I know "blah blah blah, hooray for you," but here's the thing the whole reason I took it, besides the wardrobe, was to change people's lives for the better. I want to use my fortunate position on T.V. to affect peoples lives in an extra super rocking positive way, but I can't do that if I can't find you. If you or someone you know are stuck in a bad relationship, friendship, job, breakup, marriage, or just plain stuck and want more than anything to get UNSTUCK, click here to contact us and give us your story. Let us help with the unsticking. Change is not only necessary it's required. Don't be afraid to ask for it. The host demands your excellence today.

Join our live studio audience. Call 310-202-2433 to request tickets.

For more info visit The Greg Behrendt Show online.

It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken PAPERBACK Available Today!!

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It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken PAPERBACK hits shelves today!!

Check It Out!!

Come Be An Audience Member At The Greg Behrendt Show!!!

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Greg wants to personally invite you to join the Live Studio Audience for his upcoming daytime talk show. Be the first to see GREG in action!

ALL GREG BEHRENDT FANS WILL RECEIVE PRIORITY SEATING!

If you would like to join Greg Behrendt’s live studio audience for one of his first shows please call 310-202-2433.

WHERE'S GREG?

postmaster@gregbehrendt.com

Where am I? I'll tell you where I am and where I have been. Most of my weekdays are spent on Stage 5 in Culver City shooting my upcoming daytime talk show for Sony which premieres September 12th, check you local listings for station and time.

My weekends are spent traveling to different cities for my primetime reality show for ABC, which premieres this winter.

I miss being on the road to see all of you, but I'll be in your homes soon enough!

Check Out Greg's Blog!

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It's here, it's finally here! Check it out!
Greg's Blog

Hey! It's Greg Checking in...

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I want to say Hi and let you know I haven't forgotten you. Amiira and I want to thank you so much for filling out our survey. In the short time it was up we got almost 2000 responses. That's amazing. It was a long ass survey and we really appreciate it. The book is shaping up nicely and is slated for a spring 2007 release. Unless we blow it. Ha! C'mon people it's just a f#@king book!

He's Just Not That Into You Calendar

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It's on sale right now! Click below to check it out on Amazon.com.

Purchase Here

Download clips from Greg Behrendt is Uncool on iTunes Now!

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Click here to visit iTunes online.

Buy Greg’s latest book – It’s Called A Break-Up Because It’s Broken

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Choose a store below:
* Amazon
* Barnes And Noble