Ground Shaking

The last two(ish) months

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 12:45:00 PST

Good day to you! I wanted to throw up a quick update about my life on here since It's been a while. Lots has gone on in the last two(ish) months, but rather then go through a couple stories, I'd rather just post some bullet points and pictures that might give you a snapshot of where I'm at.

Suffice it to say that I am ready to go home for Christmas. I'm ready to hug my family, roll around on the floor with my dog, drink my mom's eggnog, stay up late with friends, go to the movies with my dad, and play with my nephew. Christmas is beginning to seep into my being - that holly-infused goodness that brings to mind the smell of evergreens and the taste of goodies. And, most importantly, the warmth of being with my family.

What I've been enjoying lately:

Coffee from Old Bisbee roasters. They're out of Bisbee, Arizona, which is my roommate's hometown. Check them out here.
Playing way too much Skyrim, Batman: Arkham City, Halo Reach, and Zelda: Skyward Sword.
Inheritance, the last book in the "Eragon" series.
Smoking cigars with my best friends in my company here at school.
My new flannel that I picked up from Pac Sun on Black Friday.
Scoring better on my APFT (Army Physical Fitness Test) then I ever had before, after majorly struggling with it earlier this year.

What I've been struggling with lately:

Being sick with a bad cold for the last week. I had to take a day off of school to just do nothing. That's a pretty big deal at West Point, especially during a week when a million assignments are due.
Economics and Arabic. Both of these classes have gotten progressively harder throughout the year. I'm thankful that this semester is almost over and that I'm passing in both of these classes.
The struggle of desiring to stay in community with Christians here, but not being fed at the church services that are offered.
Missing home.
Missing the daily conversations with my friends from Boise.

Music I've been listening to:

Carol of the Bells by August Burns Red
His Favorite Christmas Story by Capital Lights
Sleigh Ride by Relient K
Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall cover by Boyce Avenue
The Distance by Cake
Constellations by Jack Johnson

Pictures of this semester at school:

After successfully running in a 5k "zombie race" in October

Hanging out with one of my friends, Ted Kostich, at #OWS

A fall day driving to the mall from West Point

A beautiful barracks latte I created from scratch

A slightly emo picture of me. I don't remember the context, but I like it.

Colin

Why I bought an Xbox.

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 21:27:00 PDT

Screw you Water Temple.

I've only ever owned two console game systems in my entire life. My parents got my brother, sister, and I a Nintendo 64 right after Zelda: Ocarina of Time (the best game ever made) came out, in 1999 if my memory serves me right. I remember watching my older brother and his best friend Mark play that game for hours. The wolves at the entrance to the Forest Temple still frighten me to this today.

When I got a little older, around Jr. High age, I remember my class held a garage sale. As I was helping put out the boxes of assorted clothes and other paraphernalia that you find at such sales, I spotted an atypical gem in the mess: a Playstation. Now mind you, this was when the Playstation 2 was in its hayday (there's a DVD player built in?!) Still, the mere thought of owning a system that played its games from CDs as opposed to cartridges made me splurge the 20 or so dollars that it cost.

Today I bought my third game system that I've ever owned: an Xbox 360.

If you know me, you know I'm kind of a gadget geek. Ever since I figured out how to check my email using my dad's sprint flip phone on a road trip to California I've enjoyed figuring out how to allow gadgets to make my life easier.

That being said, I've been called an Apple fanboy by more than one innocent bystander. Allow me to lay those accusations at rest: I don't buy Apple products because they are made by Apple. I buy Apple products because they are the best gadgets on the market.

So why would I spend $300 on the 4GB Xbox 360 Kinect package? Aren't Apple and Microsoft sworn enemies? Maybe once, not so long ago. But today?

Take a look at where Microsoft has come from. The Windows that we knew and loved last decade is evolving into something no one anticipated. And, with Microsoft unveiling Windows 8 recently, it's become clear that they are headed into the next era with all haste.

Exhibit 3: an ecosystem.

My love for any given piece of technology goes only as far as the ecosystem that the given technology communicates with. With Apple I can seamlessly sync things between my iPad, laptop, and iPhone using one or more apps. With Amazon I can buy a book on my Kindle and have the ability to read it on any of my devices. With Dropbox I can share my documents with others and access them from anywhere. A gadget or service is only as good as what it's connected with.

Windows Phone 7 took the tech industry by storm. I remember listening to the Engadget podcast when the change in the Windows mobile platform was announced. Nobody believed that "Old Faithful" was capable of altering its DNA and evolving. What would the new UI look like? What did this mean for Windows? As the first phone models were released many of these questions were answered, while some only festered and produced more questions. The unveiling of Windows 8 brought many answers: Microsoft is in it for the long haul.

And through all of this, the Xbox stood as (arguably) king of the gaming industry. Kinect only added to that perception with its seamless integration and fun-factor. Now, with all of these announcements that Microsoft is making regarding their next version of Windows, it is clear to me that they are tying everything together. They are making an ecosystem that is worth being a part of. They are making an ecosystem that I want to be a part of.

Go big or go home, that's what I always say. I had no intention of returning to my place of residence today, so I walked out of the West Point bookstore carrying a tried-and-true gaming system.

As I stood looking at the box that held my new Xbox 360 today, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the first step in my becoming a Windows fanboy. I'll have to make a note of that on my iPad.

Colin

Do you have a gaming system that you prefer? What ecosystems are you invested in?

Move. Eat. Learn.

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 20:55:00 PDT

I was blown away when I saw these videos. The guys say it best on their vimeo page:

3 guys, 44 days, 11 countries, 18 flights, 38 thousand miles, an exploding volcano, 2 cameras and almost a terabyte of footage... all to turn 3 ambitious linear concepts based on movement, learning and food ....into 3 beautiful and hopefully compelling short films.....

= a trip of a lifetime.

move, eat, learn

Watch, be amazed, and be inspired.

Colin

MOVE from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

EAT from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

LEARN from Rick Mereki on Vimeo.

A Fatherless Father's Day

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 23:23:00 PDT

In my family holidays have always been a pretty big deal. Mother's Day and Father's Day rank high on our scale of important holidays, and that goes for our whole family - not just for my sister and I. My parents always make it a point to call their moms and dads and wish them a happy day.

Father's Day is a little strange for me this year. Why? Well, it so happens that I'm missing my father. My mom and dad are currently volunteering their time at Campus by the Sea, a family camp out of Catalina Island. They will be there for a majority of the summer. It's really cool, and I am so ecstatic for them...and it makes celebrating today slightly difficult. See, they don't have cell service which means I won't be able to call my dad. They don't have internet, so there's a good chance he won't even read this for a few days until he can get to a cafe in Avalon, the city one cove over from CBS.

I figure the least I can do to honor my dad today is to write about how thankful I am for him.

My dad has made me who I am today. Without him, I would not at all be the same person.

My dad taught me the value of teamwork, and the value of leadership. The last year that I played little league baseball I was on the Phillies, and my dad was the coach. Our team consisted mostly of misfits and players that hadn't been picked by other coaches for better teams. My dad did more than coach us that year - he gave us hope and encouraged us to believe in ourselves. We went undefeated the entire season, made it to the championship game, went into extra innings, and barely lost by one run. It was the best season of any sport I have ever played.
My dad has taught me the value of money, and the value of spending money. "Food tastes better when you share it" is something my dad taught me early on, and it is so true. I've watched my dad build entire businesses from the ground up. I've seen him spend incredible amounts of money on his campaigns, and help save other candidate's campaigns with mere pennies. I've prayed with my dad for money to come in, and I can't count the amount of times a mysterious check has arrived on our doorstep or a friend has walked up and handed my family money out of the blue. I've helped my dad spend ungodly amounts of money at the movies, just because that's a part of the experience. What would a movie without popcorn and milk duds be, anyways?
My dad has modeled love for me, in the most valuable ways. He's taught me how a gentleman acts, and how to treat ladies. He's shown me what a great marriage looks like with my mom. His ever growing love for her never ceases to amaze me. He's been verbal in his love towards me, speaking to me in my love language of words of encouragement.
My dad has shown me the value of growth. He calls it being a "lifetime learner." That is, the type of person that never stops absorbing new truths and never ceases growing. In many ways my dad is a completely different man then he was even 10 years ago.
My dad has taught me the art of humor. When I was 5 or 6 we watched Austin Powers together. Multiple times. Need I say more?
My dad has shown me that anything is possible. I've watched him inspire people to do things they never thought possible, and I've been on the receiving end of that inspiration. He often reminds me that "it's not what you know, it's who you know." If you know my dad, you're two degrees away from everybody else in the entire world. When he says something can happen, I know better then to doubt him by now.
My dad has set the best example for what a personal relationship with Christ can look like.

My dad has impacted me more than any other human being on this planet. He has believed in me when few others have, and he has loved me when I've been at my absolute lowest. We've been through the hell of losing my brother and losing my grandma, and we've been there for each other. My dad has always been there for me.

My dad, Dennis Mansfield, is the finest man I know. I aspire to be like him, and I am honored to call him my father.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you.
Lue

Broken nose, black eyes, my birthday, and the Easter bunny.

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 14:39:00 PDT

Well, I've gone and done it. Playing intramural rugby last Thursday I dove towards an opponent only to be greeted by my teammates forehead to the center of my face (he was diving towards the same opponent). The impact of his head on the bridge of my nose - right where my nose meets my head between my eyes - caused some of the worst pain I've felt in a long, long time. Convinced it was just bad bruising, I went back to my room feeling like I had a moon-sized crater in my face. The days that followed brought swelling, black eyes, and assurance by others that I had indeed broken my nose. I guess that eliminates me from being Jesus, though I'm still in the running for Rocky Balboa.

Days 1 through 4 of the broken nose saga.

If you're my friend - whether on facebook or in real life - you probably know my birthday was yesterday. Being that it's also Easter weekend, I took the opportunity to take pass away from West Point to Washington D.C. for the weekend to spend time with my Aunt Janet, Uncle Tom, and cousins Shannon and Matt. This is my first ever birthday away from home, and I'm really, really glad I was still able to be with family for it. My family has always put special emphasis on birthdays, to the point that they rival holidays as poignant moments in the year.

Spending my birthday with my extended family was a great choice. My Aunt treated me to a trip to Mt. Vernon (they live right down the road!) where we basked in American history, and in conversation with each other. I process best by talking, and this was a great opportunity for me to do some processing, and also hear about my Aunt's life. Later that night I made blondies with Shannon and Matt, then we watched some movies together.

To end a great weekend, my Aunt cooked a fantastic breakfast this morning. We celebrated Easter Sunday with laughs, conversation, and good food.

How blessed I am! I go to a great school, I have an amazing family, I have a girlfriend who loves me and who I love back, and I have so many friends who are constantly there for me. It's easy for me to get caught up in the individual moments of stress, fatigue, and personal failures. Sometimes it takes weekends like this for me to step back and take a look at everything Papa has blessed me with.

Spring is a time of rebirth and renewal. May God continue to rebirth a spirit of thanks and gratitude in you and in me. May his Love envelop you and me so completely that we are overwhelmed with thanks.

When everything is stripped away, isn't that what the Gospel, the good news, is all about? God giving us something we neither expect or deserve? I am humbled by Papa's Love. I don't know how to react to it. It paralyzes me, and in that paralysis a whisper, a single breath resonates. "I Love you, Colin." That resonance ripples throughout my body and I am overcome by a sense of gratitude that simple words cannot express. No actions can express this gratitude, this humbling sense of worth.

Will you join a 19 year old with two black eyes and swollen nose in celebrating powerful Love?

Colin

Music, as of late

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 05:26:00 PDT

I'm always interested in what music people have been listening to lately. Here's the bands I've been listening to recently. Please comment and let me know what music has greeted your ears lately!

Jack Johnson
Coldplay
Mae
Shawn McDonald's new album "Closer"
Ingrid Michaelson
Old Switchfoot (as in, Legend of Chin and The Beautiful Letdown)

It's so awesome to me how memories get associated with music. For instance, whenever I listen to The Beautiful Letdown I think of Jr. High and...well all the crazy emotions and everything that goes with that. Mae, on the other hand, brings to mind High School and chilling with friends on summer afternoons.

What music means something to you, and why?

Colin

Having Grace for Myself

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 14:13:00 PDT

Grace is something that's hard for me to understand.

"Reap what you sow," "you get what you pay for," "he got what he deserved," "justice was served."

Experiencing grace is always a humbling experience for me. Whether it is receiving something I DON'T deserve, or not receiving something that I DO deserve, my first reaction to grace is often a feeling of "I'm not worthy."

I love being able to show people grace, but sometimes that's incredibly hard to do. Choosing to respond in love, instead of responding in anger, is so rewarding, and worth it.

This school year, but specifically this semester, I've been placed in a position that I never experienced in high school. I've had to have grace for myself. See, I'm an extremely competitive person, and that reveals itself most when I'm around people who are bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter than me. At West Point, I'm always around people who are bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter than me. I've learned that constantly living in a state of competition doesn't work for me, and is in fact incredibly exhausting, both mentally and emotionally. How do I push myself to succeed and get better, without getting discouraged by looking around? Where's the line between healthily caring what other people think, and needing their approval?

There's a tension between my competitive side, which wants to fight to be #1 and is constantly getting frustrated with itself, and the side of me that wants to keep the status quo, equilibrium.

Having grace for myself is the only remedy to this tension, it seems. Realizing that my competitive side can push me to get better, but also realizing that it's ok if I'm not He-Man is refreshing. But it's not easy. At all.

It makes me wonder how Jesus does it. If I get frustrated with myself on a regular basis, how much more does Papa have the right to be frustrated with me? Yet He doesn't. His grace is eternal, everlasting, all-encompassing.

It's a mystery I'm not sure I'll ever understand.

Do you have an experience with grace that you'd like to share?

Colin

Love Wins.

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 21:09:00 PST

I've been following the recent surge of tweets and blog posts regarding Rob Bell's new book entitled "Love Wins" with some interest. Bell put out a video trailer for his upcoming book. Here it is:

I was first introduced to Rob Bell in Jr. High through the Nooma videos that my church youth group used at various camps and Sunday morning services. Since then I've read Bell's first book, "Velvet Elvis" as well as his most recent short "Drops Like Stars." I also listen to his sermons regularly via the Mars Hill Bible Church on iTunes. In some christian circles I'm already disqualified as following a false prophet.

For those of you still reading:

Because of this video Rob Bell has been accused of being a "universalist." The tweet that sparked the forest fire on twitter was by John Piper. In it, he simply said "Farewell Rob Bell" with a link to a blog post by Justin Taylor entitled: "Rob Bell: Universalist?" You can read his entire post yourself for more context, but Taylor's key point can be wrapped up in this quote:

It seems that this is not just optimism about the fate of those who haven’t heard the Good News, but (as it seems from below) full-blown hell-is-empty-everyone-gets-saved universalism.

If you follow Christian tweets or blogs at all I'm sure you've heard the response to these accusations and labels. Now that the waters have begun to settle, the overall equilibrium response seems to be "Ok, what Rob Bell said is definitely a little out there. But let's just wait until the book comes out before we judge." I agree with this response, for the most part.

I've written about asking questions in the past. It seems that many people are scared of questions. The mere act of asking a question shows that you don't know it all. In the above video, you'll notice that Rob Bell makes no statements. He asks questions. And I believe that the content of the video is not what scares people the most and has invoked such strong responses. I think the scary thing to people is that they just might not have all the answers to his questions.

So yeah, I eagerly await the release of Bell's new book so that I can read it and hear exactly what he has to say. I'm not going to hop on the hatred band wagon because Rob Bell said some things that conflict with what some people consider to be doctrine.

But what happens when the book is released and Bell asks more questions that make me uncomfortable? Is it then alright for me to string up the noose, put the firewood around the stake, and nail the cross together?

What if the real problem is that I am simply unwilling to take a brick out of my wall of theology in fear that everything I believe in will come crashing down?

Here's one of the more tactful responses I've seen to the social media flurry:

I have more thoughts floating around in my head about this topic; those will have to wait for another post. I've done posts in the past regarding similar topics, feel free to check them out. Many of them have interesting comments as well.

What are your thoughts?

Colin

P.S. here are some other thought provoking blog posts regarding "Love Wins." Great reads.

Love Wins - Do You Have Itching Ears? by Chad Estes
Heaven, Hell, and Rob Bell by Rachel Held Evans
Why Aren't Fundamentalists Telepathic Comedians? by John Shore (not directly applicable, but along the same lines, and hilarious.)

Android fragmentation and why it matters

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 09:52:00 PST

If you follow Engadget at all, you know that their journalists are pretty unbiased. If there's anything they collectively hate, however, it's Android fragmentation.

I'll break it down a bit:
The Android OS is on many different devices (Google phones, Motorola's Droid line, HTC phones, and Samsung phones, as in their Galaxy S line). Each of these hardware manufacturers are able to put their own "skin" (or UI) over the stock Android software. They do this to differentiate their phones from the competitor's and to make any "improvements" that they see fit. The skins have various names: MotoBlur (Motorola), Sense UI (HTC), TouchWiz (Samsung). These are the most popular, and are put on top of the stock Android software that you find on the Nexus 1 and Nexus S (Samsung's only Galaxy S phone without TouchWiz).

What the consumer gets then, is a wide variety of devices all running the same software (Android) but with very different user interfaces. In other words, a Motorola user could be very confused when they pick up a Samsung device. Confusion, however, is the least of the consumer's problem.

When a new version of Android is released it takes time for the hardware manufacture to put their trademark skin over that software. Their devices, in turn, are unable to be updated to the latest version of the Android OS until the manufacture puts out their updated version. This might not be so bad, except lately some manufactures have decided to not even put out the newest version of the skinned Android OS to their older phones. Users with phones that are a year old are left in the dust, while only brand new users get the latest software coupled with the latest hardware.

A great example of this is when the latest version of the mobile Android OS was released, Android 2.3 Gingerbread. The flagship Android 2.3 phone was the Nexus S, which (surprisingly) ran stock Gingerbread with no TouchWiz UI. This was a great update to Android and was praised as such. However, many phones could not be updated. Some phones, such as in Samsung's Galaxy S line, had yet to be updated to 2.2 Froyo, let alone 2.3!

How does this affect the consumer in the long term? What we end up getting is a host of Android devices all running different versions of the software under skins that arguably subtract from the best Android experience possible. If you buy a phone now, there's no guarantee that you will receive the next Android update when it comes out, months after it comes out, or ever. Some users may be ok with this, as they might not update their phone even if the update was available. This mentality seems to work fine at first, but what about when a security issue is brought up about the current version of Android? I for one want the most updated software possible, to minimize issues like this.

Android fragmentation is very real and has the possibility to have a very negative effect on users, especially now, in the year of the tablets.

Have you experienced Android fragmentation? What are your thoughts on it?
Interested in what Google has to say? "Fragmentation...is a red herring"

Colin

My take on tech

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 09:05:00 PST

I've always loved technology. I remember when my big sister set up my first email account for me, and I remember showing it off to all my friends off of our dial up network and thinking I was so cool. I remember the first time I changed the background on a windows computer, and added that annoying mouse trail that all elementary school kids seem to love.

More recently I've grown to love social networking. Starting with facebook, this love quickly branched out to twitter, tumblr, and various other sites fitting the description.

I say all that, not to reminisce, but rather to illustrate that I'm by no means some sort of 'expert.' What I am, if anything, is a consumer that does his research. I enjoy paying attention to tech blogs, like Engadget and Gizmodo. I frequently listen to Engadget's podcast (iTunes link), and have attended one of their shows in New York City.

I've considered writing a tech blog for the last few months and have decided not to. Mostly because I don't have the time, but also because I fell like I'm nowhere near learned enough on the subject. That said, I have some opinions that I want to express, so I will occasionally do posts about tech labeled under the tag "technology" (which I have provided a link for in the sidebar). My hope in this is stimulate intelligent conversation about the topic. I would ask for commenters to stay away from the "Android is way better" type comments. I want to hear your opinion, but please back it up with why. This benefits everyone.

My first post is on Android fragmentation.

Colin

Real Relationship in 2011: I'm not looking for an "effective way to become closer to God."

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 23:21:00 PST

An out of context picture of the Hudson from West Point

I suppose a "Happy New Years" is in order! This is the first real post I've done since winter break due to the usual suspects (including but not limited to a school, laziness, and distractions).

I've never really been into the whole "New Years Resolutions" thing. This year something hit me though. I've never really made my relationship with God a priority in my life. By that I really mean my relationship with Him has been more passive than active.

In my experience, an important part of cultivating a relationship is quality time with that individual. How am I going to get to know someone well without specifically making the time to be with that person? That's part of my focus for this upcoming year: to be with Papa. I want to spend time hearing what He has to say, and reading His words. I don't want to force something to the point that I feel guilty if I'm not engaged. I talk to my girlfriend everyday, whether it be by text message, email, facebook, or phone, not because I feel like I have to in order to grow our relationship, but because I simply want to talk to her and hear how she's doing.

I'm not sure exactly what all this is going to look like. I do know that my heart is to Love Papa and accept his Love.


Example of something I'm not looking for.

I'm not looking for an "effective way to become closer to God." Because really, what does that mean? Is there really a prescribed way to develop any relationship, let alone one with the Almighty? Are there really seven things I need to do in order to feel God's love in a tangible way?

I'd love some advice. Do you do a daily devotional? What works for you? What doesn't work? Does what I have to say challenge you at all?

Colin

Saturday Hugs

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 23:11:00 PST

This poem by Bradley Hathaway says pretty much everything I want to express on this Saturday morning. May you experience a hug today.

Some Christmasy Thoughts

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 20:00:00 PST

I love Christmas so much! This year is especially special to me because it will be the first extended time period I've had home since Beast Barracks. In many ways I feel as though Thanksgiving break was the teaser, while Christmas break is the full length movie. And if you've ever been to the opening night of a movie with me, you know how excited I must be right now.

Today I completed finals, or Term End Exams (TEEs), at West Point. And with that, my first semester of college has come to an end! What a refreshing feeling. I feel like the pressures of the school year have truly lifted for the first time since coming to USMA.

An amazing family friend has put me up for the night in a hotel right outside the airport in Newark, NJ. I leave bright and early tomorrow morning, fly through Seattle, and land in Boise at about 3pm. It can't come fast enough.

As for right now, I'm sitting in the hotel lobby tinkering around online, listening to Christmas music (excellent playlist: Relient K, Sufjan Stevens, Trans Siberian Orchestra, and a mix album of classics) and getting into the Holiday jive. Christmas has to be my favorite time of year. I love how everyone has their own unique traditions and routine on Christmas morning. Talking to one of my best friends at West Point, Dan Bryce, I asked him about his traditions, and it was as though I was getting a look into not only his Christmas morning, but his childhood and family traditions as well. To me Christmas has always been the common denominator of the year. Everything can go wrong during the entire course of the year, but Christmas is always waiting at then end, a beacon of hope and cheer. And it seems like I'm in need of that hope and cheer right about the time it arrives every year.

A particular part in C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe stands out to me. If you remember the story, the White Witch has put a spell over the land in which it is always winter. But that's not the worst part. It's always winter, but never Christmas.

And when you really think about that, it has pretty deep implications.

Is life without hope truly life? When we have nothing to live for, are we really living? Or are we simply existing?

These are the things I'm thinking about as people wander in and out of the hotel lobby. But for me, Christmas has always been a time to reflect and ponder.

What does Christmas mean to you?

Colin

Boxed Creativity

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 20:36:00 PST

Poetry has always been something I love. I don't consider myself a poet by any means, but I enjoy allowing my emotions and thoughts to overflow into something poetic from time to time.

Today in my English/Composition class my teacher gave us a preview of next semester's English class: Literature. He brought four or five poems having to do with warfare, many written by soldiers. He chose a person from the class to read each poem, and then prompted our entire class to analyze each poem.

There are few things I hate more than analyzing poetry.

It's not that I hate poetry; as I said I enjoy writing some myself. When I analyze a poem I feel like I am applying my own emotions and experiences to someone else's work, then assuming their meaning. I hate this because I know that when I write, I don't do it so that "the intended meaning" can be extracted by the reader. Primarily, I do it to express myself. Secondarily, I do it so that others can find their own meaning in my poem.

In a school setting, I don't see how grading poems is fair.

My teacher went on to tell us that a great writer will write poetry that is able to be torn apart and analyzed; true poetry has something the author is getting at and it takes the reader pulling back the layers to fully grasp this point.

This bothers me. Poetry is an art, is it not? As are music and painting, correct? Do we strip apart the musician's song and try to "understand what they're getting at?" Perhaps some do. I find so much more value in letting the song speak to me where I'm at. Many songs have impacted me strictly based on my current circumstances and situation. I believe the exact same thing can be said of art expressed through painting, drawing, or sculpting.

So why is poetry so different?

When walls are put around creativity, it ceases to exist. All that remains is monotonous gibberish written or molded to fit someone's expectations.

I'm not exactly sure why this had such an impact on me, but it did. I grew furious in class as my teacher showed us how to break poetry down line by line. Why?

Maybe I felt my creativity die a little bit.

Colin

Getting Controversial: I read my Bible because I feel guilty. Featuring: Being vs. Doing

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 22:17:00 PST

I attend a Bible Study every Tuesday night here at West Point called OCF, Officer's Christian Fellowship. It's been great to get to know the people involved and make some new friends. I had a great time at the OCF retreat last month, getting away and spending some quality time with Papa was soul-nurturing.

OCF uses the Christian tried-and-true recipe for a Bible study: worship, announcements, short message, small groups. Quite frankly I'm cool with this, Jesus shows up regardless of the format, and that's what really matters.

Tonight the memory verse for this week came from the book of Joshua:

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
Joshua 1:8

After the verse was read aloud, the speaker posed this question to think about during the week:

What should I be doing differently in my life or continue doing after reading this verse?

It got me thinking, in a big way.

(First of all, I'm referring to the question throughout this post, not the verse from Joshua. I believe the verse is a very Old Testament way of saying "you guys don't know how to live. Do it this way: it works." If you think I'm off-base in this thinking, let me know.)

These days, whenever I hear someone talk about "what should I/we/he/she be doing?" I immediately stop to asses what's being asked.

First, the question comes with an inherent sense of expectation. Not "what's the right thing?" but instead "what should?" The person asking has some sense that there's an expectation to be lived up to. There's an invisible point in the distance that they must reach, and this action should be a step towards that point.

Second, the question is all about action, rather then personal development. "What should I/we/he/she be doing?" There's no sense of personal change, rather just a change of action. It's almost as if the person asking is saying "surely there's some action I can participate in that will change me from the outside-in."

Clearly, I disagree with the premise of the question being asked. However, my disagreement and inner frustration reached a climax during small group time.

I really do like the small group I'm a part of. All of the guys are solid brothers in Christ, and I believe they are truly seeking after God. My small group leaders are both Firsties (translation: seniors) and have 100 other things to be doing on a Tuesday night during a Thayer Week (translation: week with a ton of tests and papers due). I admire them for showing up and leading our group week after week. Also, I admire the other plebes (translation: freshmen) who attend the group. I know I have at least 50 other things I could be doing, and so do they. They help push me continue coming every week.

So, that said, moving on to the frustrating part of the night.

Guilt really grinds my gears. I feel as though if I am doing something because someone has made me feel guilty if I do not do it, I'm probably doing it for the wrong reason. I believe guilt has its place - and it has kept me out of trouble more than once. I do not believe that its place is in manipulating people. Unfortunately, much of Christianity today relies on that second kind of guilt: the kind that really pisses me off.

An on-going challenge that my small group leaders push every week is for all of us to read our Bibles on a daily basis. I love this idea. I understand that reading God's word is important, and I know that not reading the Bible is not helpful to my walk with Christ. The leaders of my small group check us every week,
"Colin, how'd your time in the Word go this week?"
"Good! I spent time in James and got a lot out of it."
"Did you read every day?"
"Nope, I missed Thursday and Saturday"
"Oh...well you gotta get on that every day man."

And so it goes, every week. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for accountability for my actions. I appreciate the check up because it keeps it fresh in my head. Tonight however, one of my leaders said something that shocked me.

"Guys, if this keeps up we're gonna start some kind of competition where you do push ups if you didn't read, or something. I mean, we want you to succeed."

Here's the thing: I want to read Papa's words because I want to read them. If I'm reading them because I have to, because somebody else wants me to, or because I don't want to have to do push ups next Tuesday, I honestly don't really see the value in reading at all. I know this probably goes against the whole "the Bible never returns void" but I also know that a seed planted in fertile soil is going to give much more fruit then that planted in rocky soil.

My point is this: what's with the church guilting people into doing things that supposedly "grow our relationship with Christ?" If we are doing it to not feel guilty, then we're not really doing it to grow closer to Christ, are we? I have a theory: I don't think God's into the whole "actions first" thing. What if Papa was more interested in our hearts then with our hands?

You may not agree with everything I'm saying here: I'm sure there are plenty of verses that contradict my heresy. That said, I think we can all agree that manipulation through guilt is unhealthy. I'm not talking about choosing "the hard right over the easier wrong" (although, I'd love to do a post on that later). I'm talking about doing something because I feel like I have to, when the option is there to do that same thing out of personal desire for growth in my relationship with Christ. After all, it's the heart behind the action that matters, isn't it?

Hit me: where is my theology all jacked up?

Colin

Friends

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 22:14:00 PST

As a Plebe at West Point, I only have so many options on the weekend. If there's an away football game/sporting event, a lot of times I have the option to leave and support the Army team. I've taken advantage of that several times, and have already traversed to New York City, Philly, New Jersey, and Michigan as a result. Not only have I met a lot of great people on these trips, but I've also developed some ability to navigate around big cities - something which a directionally challenged individual from Boise can really appreciate.

The other weekend option for Plebes at West Point is to stay on post. Basically, this consists of chilling in your room, playing video games, watching movies, or performing some combination of those.

Although I prefer the traveling option, a little something that starts with an 'm' and ends with 'oney' has decidedly kept me within the gates of Hogwarts- er, West Point, for this and next weekend. Luckily, I'm ok with a weekend movie marathon.

This weekend I watched several films, but two stuck out to me. "Role Models" and "I Love You Man" are two movies that I've heard a lot about from friends and relatives, but have simply not gotten around to actually watching.

They're freakin hilarious! Both movies had me rolling on the floor at some point. I would highly recommend both.

Both movies laid out a concept that I think each of us, at one point or another, has taken for granted: friendship. I Love You Man deals with a guy who has no "guy friends" and as a result, no Best Man for his wedding. The hilariousness of watching this guy struggle to find grown-up non-gay friends is funny to say the least, but also made me appreciate my buds, both at home and here at West Point.

Finding new friends can be hard, can't it? I think everyone at one point or another has experienced this, and a lot of times it has to do with change. In fact, sometimes finding new friends can be as painful as it is necessary, depending on the circumstances surrounding the change that comes with it. For example, perhaps somebody who is attending a new school has some pain regarding leaving their last school. In that instance, finding friends, although probably the most healthy thing to do, could be extremely painful for that person.

Developing friendships here has been very interesting. During Beast my squadmates and I were brought together by the common suckage of what we were going through. We had to work together and make sure we were giving 100%, because if one person slacked it brought the rest of the group down. It's similar now during the school year: the last thing most cadets need is their roommates or people in their company bringing them down. Working together is applicable in almost any situation here.

I'm headed home in under two weeks for Thanksgiving break. It will be the first time I've been home since coming to West Point. I am so ready to see my friends and family. One thing I've been thinking about is what it will be like to hang with my friends again. The big thing everyone here says is that friends from back home seem so much less mature and more lazy. I'm not sure I'll view my friends in that light, especially since I've kept in pretty good contact with most of them since coming here. However, it will be interesting to see how I have changed during these last several months. How will I act differently? Do I have the same sense of humor and overall personality as when I left? I think so, but I'm interested to find out what,. if anything, has changed.

How about you? Have you ever felt pain as a result of having to form new friendships? What has been your experience?

Colin

New Layout!

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 11:47:00 PST

I hope you enjoy the new look of Ground Shaking!
After doing some research, I decided to stay with Blogger for now. Feel free to check out the new slider on the front page, as well as the "Bio," "Add Me," and "Subscribe" tabs on the side bar. Finally, the "Popular Posts" tab on the sidebar is a new feature, showing popular posts from the last 30 days.

Anything you'd like to see added? Comment it up.

Colin

Growth and Community

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 18:38:00 PST

Why am I writing a blog post when I have a six page psychology paper due tomorrow that I still need to start? I'm sure part of it has to do with the bane of all college students, procrastination. Another part, however, has to do with the fact that I need to get this off of my chest.

I've been keeping to myself a lot lately. In some ways I've become a swamp of thoughts and emotions. I use the analogy of a swamp because it's murky and stagnant - nothing is flowing out of it. I've confided in some, and those talks have been good. But I miss writing. I miss the feedback I get from people.

In a lot of ways, I just miss community.

So I think it's time to make some changes. Over the next several weeks I'm going to attempt to turn this blog into a place of community. I'll commit to writing more, and I'll need your help to get feedback on my thoughts. I want to hear your opinion as well - if something I say rubs you the wrong way, please comment and tell me.

Also, expect to see some aesthetic changes to my blog. Layouts and widgets immediately come to my mind.

Let's see where this goes!

Colin

Heart Dissonance

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 22:46:00 PDT

I have absolutely no regrets. I made my decision, and I'm sticking to that.

It's a whole lot easier to be 100% real when I'm submerged head first in my comfort zone. Take me out of that, away from my friends, family, and girlfriend, and it's far more difficult then I first anticipated.

I forgot that being real comes with an inherent risk. People may not accept me, may not like me, and may not care.

But is it really a risk when I'm guaranteed to get something back? And doesn't being real always come with a reward? Even if all that reward entails is me feeling like I've been true to myself, isn't that enough?

I refuse to put those old masks back on. I know who I am, and I don't need anything else to define me. The only question I ask is this: have I changed?

The issue with seeing myself in the 1st person is that I've always done that. I don't see how I've changed. When people refer to me as "big guy" it takes me a second to register that I'm tall - I was never abnormally tall growing up and I'm really not used to people referring to me as so. 1st person does that - it mitigates my awareness of self-change so that even when I go through the most life-changing experience, I may not realize that anything about me has truly been altered until much later then the rest of the world.

Oh to be able to view myself in the 3rd person. I wish I could see how my mannerisms and speech have changed with a fresh pair of eyes.

But even if I could, do those mannerisms change anything about who I am? Am I the same person that I was when I first said "Peaceful, Free, and Stupendous" in the same sentence?

This is my heart dissonance.

Colin

Girl Scout Cookies and a Card

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 23:57:00 PDT

Running for office of any kind is stretching. As some of you may know, I ran for Class President for USMA Class of 2014 last month. I ran my campaign based heavily on social media, using tools such as blogging and facebook to promote my ideas. It was a huge learning experience for me: how to take ridicule, and welcome help. At the end of it all my classmates voted. And I lost.

It was hard to accept that defeat. But in the end, I can learn just as much from losing this race as I could of by winning it, if not more.

On Friday I went to check my P.O. Box, and found an unexpected package. After heading back to my room, I opened it and found a box of "Lemon Chalet Cremes" Girl Scout Cookies. And a card. Opening the card, I found this message:

Colin-
Hey buddy. We are proud of you for running for Class President! Good job, we don't always win the first time, but we learn a lot, that helps us out the next time. Keep up the good work! We never lose, we just get better. Best wishes,
Gov. "Butch" Otter & Lori

I was utterly stunned and blessed beyond belief. Receiving encouragement from an unexpected source is one thing, but having that unexpected source be the Governor of Idaho and his wife is quite another!

And yet it showed me two things:
First, that I need never be above, or below, accepting encouragement.
Second, that Butch and Lori Otter break the mold of a typical politician and his wife.

Political points and ideals put aside, the Governor of Idaho and his wife took the time out of their lives to send me, a cadet representing the state of Idaho at West Point, an encouraging letter of support, and cookies to boot! That speaks volumes to me.

Thank you Governor and Mrs. Otter,

Colin

Isn't it more than enough that He is in control?

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 10:56:00 PDT

As I went to shave, I changed the blade in my razor this morning.

It's been easy for me to get down, to fall into a sort of hole or depression. I miss home a lot. More than that: I miss how things were. And the hardest thing about all of this change is coming to the realization that things will never again be how they were.

This homesickness/past-sickness was beginning to breed in me a constant state of unrest, of stress. I was stressed about school, sports, duties...most everything actually.

"Wouldn't us getting stressed out kind of be like telling God we don't trust him? I think that if we truly understood the heart of God, we would have no need to be stressed out because isn't it more than enough that He is in control? Philippians 4:6-7 ' Do not worry about anything. Instead pray about everything and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Jesus Christ.'"

My amazing girlfriend sent this to me a couple weeks ago. I've been thinking about it a lot. Today I went to read my Bible, and without even making the connection, I read the book of Philippians. When I went back to re-read Kona's message to me, I realized that it too was out of Philippians. Papa is telling me something.

I changed the blade in my razor this morning, and as I did it I changed my attitude. I choose to no longer feel stressed, because I know that God is in control. I choose to no longer be in a constant state of sickness, whether it be about the past or home, because I know that Papa has it handled.

And that is a freeing feeling.

Colin

The Challenges of my Summer

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 05:43:00 PDT

Where do I start?

I really don't think there's any way I could convey my summer in one blog post. Or 100 for that matter.

Have you ever gone through something so challenging that when someone asks about it, literally all you can say is "It was pretty tough." or "It was really hard." It's not that you don't want to share about your challenge and how you overcame it, it's that you're not sure what words you can use to convey the heartbreak, the extreme emotions, the physical challenges, or whatever proved difficult for you.

That's exactly where I find myself. I can tell story after story of how difficult and awesome Beast was this summer, but I'm barely scraping the surface of what it actually was. It's like the difference between watching the Sharks special on the Discovery Channel versus actually going out and swimming with those sharks.

My squad: Delta Co, 2nd Platoon, 4th Squad

The hardest part of Beast for me was acknowledging when I completely lost sight of who I am.
Let me put it in perspective:
West Point brings together some of the smartest and most physically fit kids in America. Just looking at the facts, I don't compare very well: I'm a homeschooler from Boise, Idaho who graduated from a co-op with 9 other people. I don't come from a big city, I didn't take 6 AP classes last year, and I'm not an All American recruited athlete. Sure, I was chosen to represent Idaho at USMA, but how does that stack up against the kids from Texas or New York who were picked from a far larger pool?

These were the types of statements I found myself making and the types of questions I found myself asking. I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty depressing. I'm used to doing well at what I set my mind to, and let me tell you: I was not exactly a star at Beast. Not to say I did poorly, I just did about average. I didn't stand out like I wanted to or (almost) expected to at the start of Beast.

The rules of Beast are situated such that for about the first week you don't communicate verbally very often with your peers. Because of that, every word that came out of any of our mouths was quickly used by the rest to judge. Not necessarily in a bad way, it's just that we weren't aloud to talk very often, so when we did everybody listened and used those words to define the speaker in their head. Let's just say I asked a couple dumb questions and made a couple dumb statements during the first week or so of Beast, and because of that I wasn't viewed as the brightest light bulb in the shed. It wore on me: this wasn't who I am! I am not dumb, or lame, or foolish. And yet I felt like all of these things, definitely at the beginning of Beast, but also all throughout it at different moments.

It became necessary for me to hold myself to my Focus contract and mission:

I am a peaceful, free, and stupendous man and my mission is to influence, restore, and improvise honor and wisdom in myself and others.

The letters from my parents, sister, girlfriend, friends, and family gave me the sustaining encouragement I needed when I needed it most.

But most of all, there to help me whenever I cried out, was Papa. I was put in a situation where I could either try to get through Beast by myself (like a lot of kids do) and change who I am, or I could trust Papa to get me through it one day at a time and come out intact at the end.

I'm still here. It's still me, Colin Mansfield. There are differences, I'm sure, and I know a whole ton more then I did going into Beast. I know more about military, the Army, weapons, gas masks, tactical movement, and so, so much more. But this point remains key to me: Papa kept me safe this summer, both physically and mentally. I haven't lost myself, and I easily could have.

Beast lasted 6 weeks, and they are 6 weeks that I will never forget. I'm sure that as I write more, some of my specific Beast stories will make it up here.

Today is my first school day. All of this summer and this last week (Reorganization week) have been leading up to the school year. I have learned how to be a soldier, and now I will learn how to be a student.

My classes? Math Modeling/Intro to Calc, Psychology, Advanced History of the US, Chemistry, and Composition. I have half of those today, and the other half tomorrow (think block schedule). I expect to be pushed to my limits, just as I was this summer. I expect to bend under the pressure, but this summer has shown me that I don't have to break and that God will sustain me.

Please pray for me: that I will continue to be encouraged and that this school year, although stressful and difficult, will also be fun. Pray that Papa will continue to reveal to me who He is, and who I am.

A huge thanks to everyone that has supported me coming to USMA, and to those that sent me letters this Summer.

4th Class Cadet Mansfield

Learning Love

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:51:00 PDT

Papa is so good.

Tomorrow I'm taking a step that will forever change my life. I'm entering Beast Barracks, West Point's Basic Training. Tomorrow I get my head shaved, and my first taste of the next four years. I'll be out of internet contact until August, depending only on letters as my form of communication. It will be difficult, but so good.

Yesterday I was at a Family Reunion with my dad's side of the family. It was so great being with people that I love and that love me. At a certain point my aunts, uncles, and cousins congregated in the main living room of the bed & breakfast we're staying at. My Aunt Janet stood and said that with all of the celebration of family, my acceptance and moving off to West Point needed to be recognized. She then proceeded to reveal a beautiful cake with the West Point crest on it. After the cake we watched a slideshow that my cousin Shannon put together which covered my entire life. It was so amazing, and she did such an incredible job; it really blessed me so, so much. After the slideshow my aunts, uncles, and cousins shared memories that they have with me. They gave me words of encouragement that I took to heart. It was healing medicine. Finally, my parents spoke. My mom expressed her heart and began to weep. My dad followed, equally teary as he shared about my lifeless birth and miraculous recovery. My parents encouraged me and breathed life into me. In many ways, tonight was CPR for my spirit. This whole experience has shown me that so many people love me. And it's relatively easy to understand that in my head. The trouble I've had has been with my heart. Tonight that transition happened. Rather then just knowing that people love me, I actually felt loved.

Last week I was in California. I drove down there with my parents, and spent a night with my Grandpa and Grandma and the next day at my aunt and uncle's house. Later my family connected up with Kona's family (who had driven down that day). I spent the next two days with Kona's family at Knott's Berry Farm in Anaheim. It was an incredible time. So many fun memories, like Stephen and I running around that night and Kona and I holding hands and enjoying the park. The next day we met back up with my family in Long Beach, got on a boat, and headed to Catalina Island. Catalina Island holds many, many special memories for me; my family has attended a Christian family camp there called CBS almost every summer since I was born. I've made some of my very best friends through CBS, and I've had the honor of working there in the past. This particular trip was especially amazing for me: not only was it a great vacation to precede Beast, but I got to share this trip with my Best Friends: Kona (my incredible girlfriend), Collin (my long time buddy), Kale (my hilarious cousin), and Stephen (Kona's brother and my close friend). Not to mention my family and the rest of Kona's family. I'm not going to lie, the week was very hard. Staying in the moment proved very difficult, as I constantly knew that saying goodbye to my girlfriend was looming on the horizon. Kona and I made the best of the hard situation by spending time together, and with Kale, Collin, and Stephen. It really was a lot of fun, and I'm so glad I chose to go there before Beast.

These last few weeks have been utterly and completely fantastic. There have been so many laughs and memories, to be sure. Part of what this whole process has taught me, however, is this: love is something to be learned as much as it is something to experience. It is not something that ever stops revealing itself, rather it is something that reveals more and more with each year, experience, and relationship. Learning Love is not about figuring it out. It's not about suddenly defining a word that has baffled so many people for so long. Rather, it is an acknowledgement that love is more than just some fleeting emotion. Love is tangible and it is real. I've felt it in the air so thick you could cut it with butter.

Learning Love is a part of my journey. This last week has been extremely difficult, depressing, and confusing. Tonight, however, I feel free. I am loved. I haven't done anything to earn it, and yet it is true.

I am loved by my family.

I am loved by my parents.

I am loved by my girlfirend.

I am loved by my friends.

But most importantly:

I am loved by Papa.

And Papa is so good.

I'll talk to you in August! Your prayers would be greatly appreciated.
Colin

New Beginnings and Complacent Christianity

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 11:09:00 PDT

On Thursday, I leave Boise. On the 28th of this month, I start Cadet Basic Training. In early August, I start my first year of school at the United States Military Academy at West Point.

A lot is going through my head. Just graduated, just received my Eagle Scout, newly minted adult. I'm having trouble processing most of what's going on, and I've resorted to simply 'taking it all in.' I'm going to West Point with no expectations, and in preparation for that I'm taking each day leading up to Beast (Basic Training) one day at a time.

In the book Stumbling Souls: Is Love Enough? author Chris Plekenpol invites a gay, HIV positive, homeless man to live with him. Chris decides that merely inviting this man to Bible study, only to drop him back off at the street corner afterwards, isn't good enough. Chris is stretched with the question we've all faced when helping someone in need: how can I help them without enabling them? What can I give them that will help them, not hurt them? Chris decides to be the hands and feet of Jesus in the literal sense: he invites the homeless man, James, into his inner circle, and into his house. What Chris finds is that James is really the one helping Chris. Sharing Christ's love in a tangible way comes with incredible risk. Chris finds that the payoff is more than worth it.

I can relate to Chris on many levels. Chris held many of the same feelings towards homeless people before his interaction with James as I do now. In many ways, even the most compassionate mega church draws a line in the sand when it comes to helping people. We'll go into the park and feed them, but only if we can retreat back to our suburban houses afterwards to unwind and watch some cable. I hate to admit it, but I'm as guilty as anyone. How many times have I seen a homeless man or woman and thought "man, what brings them here, to this place in their life?" and then continued on my way to the movie theater to use the "anything helps" change on popcorn and candy?

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in." Matthew 25:35

I think too often we assign value to Jesus' words, we recite the verses, and we preach sermons on the topics without ever living them out. We let the words of Jesus lead us when it's convenient, then "pray about it" when He says something we don't necessarily agree with.

Don't read Stumbling Souls: Is Love Enough? unless you want to be challenged. It will make you take a look at what you believe about tangible love. It forced me to ask myself the question "where is the line between listening to somebody and emotionally being there for them, and physically helping them, whether with money or other means?" I'm not sure I've arrived at an answer to that question, and I know that this book provided the catalyst for me to ask that question in the first place, and that's a good place to start.

The words of Chris Plekenpol hold a weight to me that is hard for others to understand. Chris is a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, and is an experienced executive officer in the 82nd Airborne, as well as a combat company commander in the 2nd Infantry Division in Iraq. Chris took many of the same steps that I'm taking now. He went through many of the same emotions I'm going through now. And he made it.

Chris gives me hope. He give me hope that I can make it these next four years, then nine years, then 12 years, then maybe more. He gives me hope in his belief in Jesus, and that God is sovereign. He gives me hope in his acknowledging that "comfortable Christianity" is really "complacent Christianity" and that there has to be more.

Colin

How He Loves: A Song Story by John McMillan

colin.mansfield@gmail.com (Colin Mansfield) — Mon, 31 May 2010 00:46:00 PDT

The song "How He Loves" has been played frequently in churches around America lately, and covers have even been done by famous Christian bands like David Crowder Band.

I, personally, love the song and did a blog post on it a little while back. It is so real. So raw. So where I'm at.

This video posted on John McMillan's vimeo page makes the song even more powerful. It speaks for itself, check it out:

How He Loves : A Song Story from john mark mcmillan on Vimeo.

Colin