The Long Answer

I have met so many Germans that speak English in one form or another. This ranges from a few words to real fluency. Germans, and especially their education system, are a pragmatic bunch. The use of English especially in business is widespread enough that it is mandatory in school often from grade 5. So most Germans under about 50 will have had English in school at one point or another. The differences will come in how much they practice it and this will often they come in contact with English speakers.

Checkpoint Charlie in Berlin

The Misleading “Only a Little Bit”

Flame on You

“Sprechen Sie English?” (“Do you speak English”, in German) a tourist asks unsteadily, drawing on the full two years of high school German.

“A little bit”, comes the reply from the German shopkeeper or waitress or train conductor. The shopkeeper then proceeds to discuss in long detail whatever transaction the tourist is trying to do. Sometimes with views on why the tourist might have violated some rule or another.  This German concept of I only speak English “a little bit” can be misleading.

When an American says “I speak a little bit of Spanish,” it usually means that they took two years in high school a number of years ago. They can read signs and mostly menus. Stuttered sentences that may or may not contain a verb are usually the extent of “a little bit”. There rarely a sense of conversation with “a little bit.”

Germans seem to mean “working knowledge” with the phrase “a little bit of English”. There will still be mistakes with verb tenses and not pronounce things right, but in general can make themselves understood in most situations. Sometimes it can be, “I only speak a little English. You want to discuss politics or religion?”.

Senk You For Travelink.

This phrase is quite well known in Germany. It is what it sounds like on the Deutsche Bahn trains as they announce station stops in English (“Thank you for traveling,” if you can’t read Denglish). For most Germans that are not fluent in English and yet college level educated, the amount of English they understand is much more than they can speak. There is also a culture bias against making mistakes. I would not place this on the level of “losing face”, but more an uncomfortably with things outside of the routine. What this means is that although it is rare for someone to start speaking English with you, stumbling through whatever German you know, even badly will often prompt the other to switch to be helpful.

Germans as a culture are quite into traveling. Study abroad is also very common. They are in the middle of Europe with different languages on nearly every side and definitely in the the popular warm places to go. The more a German has traveled the more likely that their English will be passable. As in most cases, go into a situation with some humility using whatever little you have learned and you are likely to be rewarded with enough English to get the job done.

What does this mean for travelers?

Germany is definitely a country that you can travel in without any knowledge of German. People in the tourism industry will almost definitely speak passable English for their area of knowledge. Larger cities and higher educated people will speak more English. Signs are still in German, but I have found people to be quite helpful with directions.

What does this mean for living in Germany longer term?

Ignoring the job aspect and the visa aspect, it is technically possible to live here without much German. It is however not so much fun. Smaller towns will be much more difficult than a place like Berlin. It is well worth learning the language. Though with the above mentioned widespread English proficiency, a little knowledge can go a long way. It is totally worth learning the language and getting into the culture through the language, but to actually live here without it is definitely possible.

Do Germans Speak English? is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.

Quacks like a duck

The phrase goes something like this, “if it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck, it probably is a duck.” Pretty much, I read this as saying if it fulfills most of the brain’s qualities of being a duck, it just gets categorized and treated like a duck. If something is familiar enough then there is a normal way of dealing with it. Ducks are given bread and swim in lakes.They have feathers and Daffy was one.

but looks like a cat.

The problem in dealing with other cultures can be that something doesn’t fit properly into a familiar category and this is disorienting. If an animal quacks like a duck, the brain wants to call it a duck. If it looks like a cat, the brain wants to file it under cat. Cats sleep in the sun and chase mice. They purr and take over your favorite seat on the couch.

Quacking cat or furry duck?

Sometimes you get things like a grocery store and try to use your normal interaction pattern for a grocery store. And then you hit something for some reason that slaps up against that interaction pattern and things get confusing. Somehow then neither pattern of interaction fits and the brain has to deal with something it hasn’t fathomed yet.

This is where I like my friend’s phrase a lot. Both ducks and cats are relatively mundane creatures with very well known patterns of behavior. The fact that these things are so well known makes it all the more disconcerting when they don’t fit into the pattern. The more familiar the object or pattern, the deeper these patterns go and the weirder it feels when things are different.

Familiar but different

A grocery store is a very deeply held pattern for most. Especially in the US, I went to the same store every week buying roughly the same things in the same aisles. The store was roughly the size of a city block here and contained nearly every brand of every type of food.

So my pattern was deeply held. Now I come here and have different experiences. It is fairly common for certain brands of things to go out of stock for weeks or stuff to shift around in the store. Or not be able to find some types of food at all. In Aldi even, it is often a crap shoot of exactly what they will have in general. This is still the grocery store pattern but doesn’t hold the routine stability that Americans are used to in their stores. It quacks like a duck, but looks like a cat.

Subtle Culture Shock

These are the things that seem to be very subtle on the culture shock scale. Seasoned travelers are able to deal with the radical changes. When you encounter something that you expect to be the same because it fits some of the qualities and yet isn’t the same, then it gets annoying. That aspect of the traveler’s mind that can deal with big things just gets sideswiped a bit. The subtler the differences, the harder it can hit at times.

More Reading:
My wife Ali’s thoughts on the sneaky nature of culture shock.
An interesting post from an expat in Sweden about the Expat Blues that I liked.

Quacks like a duck, but looks like a cat. is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.

Ger-Man’s Best Friend

Compared to the US, Germany is a more public society. More walking around and much more outside. Dogs seem to fit right into this. Smaller apartments and more urban areas seem to lead to a desire to go out and do things. I remember reading this about New York City as well. The smaller and more packed together homes encourages more going out. As people go out, so go their dogs.

Dogs ride the tram with a child’s ticket, in Freiburg anyway. And they do so often with minimal issues as well. I have heard the driver berate someone for not having the dog on a leash once, but even then the dog was pretty sedate.

Being in such an urban environment, they must be trained from puppies to be in society and how to behave. This is pretty cool in comparison to the wildness that seems to typify the dogs I remember seeing at home. I was scared of dogs as a kid and still a bit hesitant with them now. I often remember being out and around with people and seeing others walking their dogs, which want to jump up on me. I get sniffed every so often here, but mostly they just ignore me. I’m actually kind of ok with that.

Public Visitation Rights

It is not at all unusual to see dogs in restaurants. They are under the table near their owners and seem often quite content to just lie there. No begging that I have seen. And not just little dogs either, bigger dogs too. Restaurants seem perfectly fine with it too. We saw at one point a waitress bring a bowl of water for a dog on a hot day.

I still think it is a little weird to see them in restaurants, but they definitely behave. There are certain stores that have signs out that say that dogs are not allowed. There are then often tie up spots near these signs, so that owners can dip into the store quickly for something.  I’ve seen it at the gym I walk by every day too. Dogs set up in the lobby with a nice bit of fabric to lie on and await their owner sweating inside.

 Order Enforced

As is typical for Germany, there are rules around dogs and their behavior seems pretty well controlled. I don’t how much of these are unwritten courtesies and how many are actually on the books. Dogs don’t bark very often when in public and never seem to be very hyper when out in a big crowd of people. Something that cannot always be said for children.

Every so often on the street two dogs will see on another and feel the need to bark at each other. Owners are usually pretty good at restraining this. Despite a few barks every so often, the dogs that I have seen here in Freiburg have been quiet and well behaved.

And especially here where cleanliness is highly prized, it is neat to see stations along a lot of the walking trails that provide free supplies of poop pickup bags. People seem to use them too, which is actually good to see. I occasionally see someone calmly talking to a friend while walking the dog and have a yellow bag full of poop swinging from their side. So not only are the dogs better behaved, the people seem better behaved about their dogs as well.

Germans love their dogs and take them out with them into fresh air. But these are German dogs, so they are far more careful to follow the order.

Photo credits to my wife at Ali’s Adventures.

Dogs in Public in Germany is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.

From Practical to Cultural

At one point in history, great caves underneath the ground were needed to keep beer cold. These caves were covered with dirt and had trees planted upon them. All of this in an effort to provide as much insulation and shade for the beer as possible. When the breweries started selling beer directly, people started noticing the nice parks that had sprung up nearby. Shady grassy spots are just as nice for family picnics as they apparently were to keep beer cold. Thus began the biergarten(beer garden) concept.

The idea has developed from then a fair amount. Biergartens attached to breweries traditionally allow food to be brought from outside although no beer(understandably). So bring a picnic and buy the drinks there. Nowadays, the beer gardens I have seen do definitely offer food for sale, although sometimes a fairly limited menu.

Here we are talking about the beer gardens that are traditionally attached to breweries. In an odd twist for Germany, apparently the name is not regulated so almost any outdoor place with beer service will be called a Biergarten. Most pubs label their seating like that and don’t really like the bringing of food. But definitely seek out the “real” Biergartens attached to neighboring breweries. These are special.

Communal Drinking

Germans are really into nature and being outdoors. They open their windows to get fresh air and sit in the last patch of sun in autumn. Beer is of course a popular thing as well, so beer gardens, the ability to be outside with beer, are very popular and will be full on a nice day. The Biergarten is however also a family thing. Far more so than other places with outdoor seating. It is a communal place to hang out with other people.

Traditionally an open park feel and often next to a river (breweries use a lot of water), this is just a perfect recipe for a nice place to sit outside in the summer. Every one that I have been in has the really long picnic tables and benches, so you can’t avoid being shoulder to shoulder with others. Add the social lubricant of beer and it becomes a place to be out in society enjoying both the outdoors and being around people.

The European Cup football(soccer) championship is coming up this summer. Every spot with a power plug will have a TV attached to it will people watching. I like going to the biergartens for this kind of thing too. Places to sit and more communal feeling and with better bathrooms than the open air public viewing.

Biergartens In Freiburg

Although started in Munich, they are not exclusive to breweries in Bavaria. Freiburg has several really great ones and all close to the center.

Feierling Brewery

I have mentioned Feierling several times on the blog and for good reason. It is my favorite brewery in town. It is small but great. The small two level garden backs up to Augustiner Museum and is across the street from the restaurant-brewery with its great copper brewing vats. Large trees shade the many large tables in the small garden. Waitresses offer table service for their own Inselhopf unfiltered beer and other drinks. The food menu in the garden itself is pretty limited, but in traditional fashion outside food is allowed. You can also order from their restaurant across the street and bring it back. No food delivery for that unfortunately.

Ganter Brewery

Ganter is the largest brewery in Freiburg. Their logo is on most pubs in town. The brewery is not far from where I live and I bike by the river to work and back. As the weather gets sunnier and warmer their biergarten becomes much more active. The space is large and open and attached to the back of the brewery (the entrance is near the Aral gas station if you happen to be in Freiburg). There is no table service so go stand in line for the beer window. Food is basic German pub style sausages, schnitzels and fries with the odd salad thrown in. There are grills for your own food and a playground for the children.

This is my favorite place to watch the national football games for things like World Cup and European Cup. Ganter also does a 4th of July party that is neat. To see the German interpretation and summation of all of American culture is a sight (I’ll try to do a post on it this year.)

Kastaniengarten

Ok, Kastaniengarten is not a traditional beer garden. It is on top of Schlossberg and not near a brewery. Though it has some of the best views of Freiburg. Head up Schlossberg at Schwabentor and take the steep paths and stairs to the garden. It spans both sides of the narrow mountain giving views over the town. Again no table service, order everything up at the window. Though they give you the beer direct and a little buzzer to call you for your food. Food options are standard German pub fare, but decent. Despite not having an attached brewery, this is still built in the beer garden style and will fill up in the summer months easily.

Beergardens Mean Summer

I have been in many a beer garden with and without attached brewery all over Germany. Pretty much no matter where, you will see someone out on a warm summer day enjoying a beer or two with friends. Adding outside to drinking seems to be natural for the German culture interested in doing both. A word on opening times, they are seasonal things, so rarely if ever open in the chill winter. Though they will often open on warm spring days and then close again if it gets cold. So even if it feels a little early, definitely check them out on a warm day and see if you are in luck.

Check out the rest of the Blogger Stammtisch group on the topic of Parks.

Biergartens – From Practical to Cultural is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.

So, yeah I like to try non-German beers around the world as we travel. Most beers taste pretty similar to me, but it nice to experience new things.

Tui, New Zealand

I was asked in a bar in Auckland if I wanted a big beer. I said yes and got a 700ml bottle. Looked like a 40ounce from college days. Kiwi friend of mine sent me this link of a Tui ad about why sexy women brew their beer. (Youtube)

Brauhaus, Liechtenstein

“One Country, One Beer” From our weekend in the small alpine country. Nice beer, but remarkably similar to German.

Kirin, Japan, by way of the US

Ok, I have never been to Japan. My only far east claim was a day in Hong Kong. But I did try the beer at a Japanese steak house in Atlanta with Ali, when I went back to marry her.  It was export quality, but ok. Will have to compare when I actually make it to Japan.

Mythos, Greece

I was oddly surprised to see so much beer in Greece, but also happy for it. Mythos was my favorite. My first night I got it in this nice frosty glass. What a great thing against Greek heat.

Karlovacko, Croatia

Croatia was a life changing week on a boat for me. It was before I started blogging and it was a wonderful week of just enjoying pure travel goodness. Of course I had to add beer goodness. Karlovacko was one of two common beers in Croatia, but I only have pictures of this one.

Efes, Turkey

Turkey was Ali and my honeymoon trip. We had been planning and thinking about it for nearly a year. I was so surprised to see a beer in a nominally Muslim country, but Efes was everywhere. It shares the name with Ephesus the ruins. That was an awesome day at the ruins and this was a great light beer.

Cruzcampo, Spain

We were in Spain last year for Tomatina and had an apartment in Valencia for a week. It was hot so we naturally had beer. So what if Cruzcampo isn’t the national beer (I have no idea if it is or not), but it was cold and beer-like. And it was 50cents a can, and still not the cheapest at the grocery store. I called it Waving Man Beer and enjoyed it right from the can all week.

And yet….

Despite everything, I still run into German beer all over the world. I guess there is an export benefit for being known as the country with the best beer. Here we found Paulaner at an Oktoberfest in Valencia.

Bonus: Washing Machine Cooler

While at home in the US, my father in law showed me this way of cooling large amounts of beer. It wouldn’t work with our front loader in Freiburg, but I loved the ingenuity of it. A washing machine full of ice then add beer. The ice melts into something that already is setup to drain away.

7 Beers And A Washing Machine is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.

Although I admire them, I am not interested in becoming an eternal nomad that travels from place to place eternally. I want time to rest and feel at home. If I was even to contemplate that movement lifestyle, it would have to be very slow. As in several months in a place. I need that time to let my mind absorb everything and let the creative juices flow in purposeful directions instead of outward everywhere.

Hyperactive Mind

Peace and quiet in the physical realm does not mean for me to stop thinking either. I am constantly in motion mentally. It is one of the reasons that things overwhelm me. The mind overheats and spins too fast. I seek out quiet to let that spinning take in everything. So after a few weeks of high octane experiences like travel, I need some time to just sit and absorb what has stuck. To contemplate that which has been seen.

My mind is always moving and going in usually a dozen different directions. This is true even on routine days. Travel fuels this to an extent. There is something wondrous about walking through a completely overwhelming thing like the spice market in Istanbul. Though it runs the edge of getting to me. That edge gets too keen sometimes. So that always-on mind needs a time of routine to cool off and allow the new ideas to be worked through.

Seeking Peace

I definitely fall on the introverted side of the line and need my quiet and space. I find that I crave that peace. Not just that I get overwhelmed by going to a new place, but that once I get settled, I kind of regret moving on before I can dive deep and really feel connected to a place. To get to know the people there takes time.

This is not to say that I want to stop traveling. Of course not, that is one of my life’s passions. Ali shares this passion and we enjoy traveling together a lot. So we will still strive to go out and see things, break up the pattern and experience new places. We will however likely always keep a home base somewhere. A place with a comfortable bed and a solid wi-fi signal.

And this leads back to Expat

One of the main things I like about the expat life is that I have a home base and have carved out a refuge to be in. And yet the travel and the new experiences are just outside of my door. I need the fuel for the ideas as well as the time to let them grow and lead in good directions. The balance is the thing as always though.

This post came up in my head after some reading other posts this past week.

• One of my first and favorite guest posts was at Dangerous Business. Stability versus Freedom.
• Justin wrote about the Need to Travel and starts out talking about how routine vs excitement work out in the brain referring to another interesting article.
• I met Juno in Hong Kong last winter and ran across one of her older posts about when did it get so hard to find silence.

No Nomad Here is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.

I’ve gotten a lot of odd questions over the years of living here. It is interesting to see what people know or think based on their experiences. It shows to an extent that although the American culture is fairly well known in movies and TV shows, the details are not. The interplay between expats and locals is complex sometimes and it is nice to be able to share back as well.

Doctor Seuss

I have taken it upon myself to start to explain Dr Seuss to anyone that will listen. Especially parents who want to help their children with English. There is no complex language and yet the depth and engagement of story is there.

Dr. Seuss wrote some of the greatest whimsical English language children’s books I have ever read and I loved then as a kid.  Despite him being of German heritage, the books are nearly unknown here. I know it is a small survey of just the people I have mentioned it to, but I have not yet talked to someone that knows them. This is odd given that a few of the movie versions have indeed made it to Germany. I don’t know how well the movies have done, but apparently not running on nostalgia’s sake. I guess it is just hard to translate the goofy rhymes into German and keep the sense of things, though there definitely have been some attempts when I do some Amazon searches.

English Phrases

An awful lot of what I get asked are pure language questions. Germans on average seem to have a pretty good command of English, most likely owing to school and university requirements. Mix that with a cultural bias to “genauigkeit” (exactness) and I get a fair number of questions of how I would say something in English. The odd part is that I haven’t lived in an English speaking country in a while, so often my brain gets confused and falls into the same traps as a German speaker. Even weirder is when a question requires a longer culture explanation to understand, like the greetings and signature line of a letter depending on who you are sending to.

I do get to share some good English phrases that don’t seem to have German cognates. These are two of my recently explained quotes.

• Like water off a duck’s back.
• Enough rope to hang himself with.

Do Americans…

The other type of question I get involves direct questions of American culture. Though so much is exported in TV and music, but that is the flashy stuff, not the daily life details. I was asked the other day if we had sausages in the US. The answer is “of course, but not the same.” I got to explain about hot dogs, delis and enormous grocery stores. Although I only very rarely miss hot dogs, (they have them at Ikea if I ever get a real craving) I would really like a more New York style deli here.

The subtype of this is the “why do Americans do…”. These I find almost more interesting. The most common one involves cars and driving. I like this question as I get to compare the size of the countries and tell stories about driving 45 minutes each way to work and that being a relatively short commute. Or the 5 minute drive to the grocery store “next door”.

Politics

I try to ignore and avoid politics as much as I can. Not just national ones, but also office politics and the like. Though I have learned that Germans in general are far more aware of the American politics than even most Americans. When it gets to be around election time, this will likely be the most common topic to get asked about. I don’t watch German TV either, but even glances at the newspaper headlines show how interested they are here. And seriously, again, the average(from my experiences, including random people on the tram) German seems to know more about the political system and candidates in the US far more than even I did when I was there.

So beware if you, like me, has no real interest in politics and finds both choices (pretty much no matter the race) to be poor. You will get asked your opinion. Be ready to have an answer and know that “I don’t really know or follow it” will be seen as odd.

Ambassadors

When I went for study abroad in both high school and university, they made us go through orientation each time. The one point that gets harped on a lot in this sessions is that “you go as an ambassador of culture to these other lands.” I think they try to make it a point so the students are less likely to be an ass while out on a study abroad program. I would like to think most people don’t need it in those terms, but culture shock does wacky things to the brain.

As an expat living here long term, I have become a representative of the American culture in a similar way. This even though I am definitely not a typical (statistically or culturally) American. I still try to show the good bits and step around the less good ones.

Culture Flows Both Ways is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.

Sweet vs Salty

One of the big popcorn differences comes as the debate between sweet and salty popcorn. I don’t mind caramel corn or the like, but to sprinkle sugar instead of salt on a movie style big bowl of it, seems wrong. I am definitely in the salt and butter category. Even microwave popcorn is available at most grocery stores in both a sweet and a salty variety. Though only one brand and individual packaging instead of the vast array of brands, flavors and packs at home.

A Note on Butter

Butter in the US is very often salted. It lasts longer this way apparently. You can buy unsalted butter, but you have to search for it. The big piles are usually salted.

This is not the case in Germany. I have not seen salted butter here. (I also haven’t dug too much for it either.) The upshot of this is two fold. First, butter tastes slightly different here. Secondly, I find I need more salt on my popcorn in order for the buttery taste I am looking for to come out.

Melting Butter without Microwave

Microwaves are not unknown in Germany, we just decided we don’t need one. The hardest part has been figuring out the melting of the butter. We are both used to having a microwave to melt butter back home. The solution has been a measuring cup (thanks Mom for bringing me them a couple years ago) in a bowl that has very hot water in it. It takes some patience but works pretty good. Adaptability is the hallmark of a successful expat.

Another option is apparently to pop the popcorn and melt the butter in a frying pan with the popcorn. This is how my roommate used to do it to get the sugar on it. It seems like it might coat the popcorn better, but with a lot more work. And really I don’t want sugar on it, so it would really only be for the butter.

Popcorn in Photos

Again the nice popcorn bowl comes from home. We packed it in one suitcase or another. Filled with clothes it doesn’t actually take up much room. The cleverly crafted foil shield is a new trial. We were having issues with the popcorn going all over the kitchen. Seriously I find kernels, both popped and unpopped, all over and under things. I fashioned this shield to see if it worked. It seems to help a lot. I didn’t see so many flying kernels this time.

So really, not as easy as just tossing a bag in a microwave but it feels better making it. I remember the sound of the popcorn machine from Sunday afternoon childhood. Having the smell and taste of freshly popped popcorn is something I am quite happy to be able to get here in Germany. Pretty much the best 25euros we have spent in a while.

Popcorn without a Microwave is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.

Sometimes nothing seems to go right and it seems like the society and culture is crushing. Sometimes I feel like breaking down and crying. Sometimes I wish I was not here. Although often wonderful, living as an expat somewhere, especially in a different language, does indeed suck.

Not a Pity Party

I am not writing this as a rant or searching for pity. I know I live a great life. I definitely choose to live here and really wouldn’t have it any other way. It is that sometimes I have a few days where everything gets to me, and I want to share that frustration to show that living as an expat is work. Life can be challenging anyway with a few bad days, but add another culture that takes energy to live in and the overwhelming factor can be high. Maybe others can see this and know that it is ok to be frustrated sometimes and it is normal to have bad days.

This week was a great example. Ali and I spent the past few weeks in Turkey and Italy. We had a great time, though it was tiring. Especially the trip home on Monday was pretty trying for me. In total six trains and a flight encompassing nearly 13 hours home. (We could have been better on the train, but whatever.) The flight was fairly smooth and yet I had a panic reaction. I’m fine, but exhausted. I still had to work on Tuesday, so no rest for me. By the end of the week everything seemed to be against us and it just felt overwhelming. Even for me with my years of experience here.

When Energy Runs Out

Living in another culture from that familiar one that you grew up with is energy intensive, especially at the beginning. You offer the brain no comfortable routine to fall into and yet change everything. Eventually you learn a pattern in your new home and things get easier. You build a home to take refuge in and perhaps a job or some friend to hang out with that all make it feel more like home. “Home” being that effortless state of being.

Yet that culture that takes energy is still out there. Especially when I am tired I definitely get annoyed at the Germans around me far easier. I’m sure this sort of annoyance at life happened in the US as well, but here it seems that the points that come through the most are cultural ones. It leads me to being annoyed at them in a way that I am normally not.

..there was none to be found..

Missing Cheddar Cheese

Germany has pretty good food. The concept of freshness and eating local products is strong, especially around here in Freiburg. That means the veggies and meats are usually local and high quality. The flip side is that the selection of things that come from far away is lean to say the least.

After a long week of poor rest and readjusting to the routine, we just wanted to make our favorite “home-like” meal of Fajitas. We went to the store looking to buy cheddar cheese. Nope, they were out. Nothing even similar showed up in the case, only all kinds of things only labeled by the valley in the alps it was made in. Our tired brains had retired to American mode and we couldn’t recognize anything.

Normally we like the block to shred for the tex-mex-y goodness. Though they had nothing in the case we thought maybe slices down in the case. Again no, at this point the annoyance was getting going. “Why can’t I just find normal cheese?” the brain screams inside. “What is with all of these cheeses we don’t understand?” We know the cheese here is odd and have known it for a while, but in this state of mind the detail becomes so much worse. It somehow gets blown up into a symbol of annoyance for the culture.

I kind of just wanted to cry. “I just want a nice quiet evening with normal food and not have anything to do with Germany,” I was thinking. Was I really losing it over cheese?

The cheese thing was a “last straw,” not a reason in itself. The half annoyances of the week, the feelings coming down off of a vacation high and readjusting to a routine without a lot of rest all rolled up and got sparked off by the “one thing” that felt familiar that I was being denied. In the end with the cheese, we were disappointed, but it wasn’t tragic. They will restock the block of cheddar and we will buy more next week. We sat together watching TV and it was a good night anyway.

This Too Shall Pass

Most of these feelings are transient. Things get overwhelming and I just want to cry, but I don’t. I play video games or watch American TV with some popcorn and try to get some sleep. Things will look better in the morning.

This sort of frustration is normal. The brain gets overwhelmed and can’t handle it anymore every so often. It is to be expected when you ask it to rebuild an entire lifetime of cultural knowledge. The key is to be patient with yourself and with others, especially the host locals. They have no clue what you are going through.

Sometimes it DOES suck, but it will be awesome again soon too. Just try to be patient.

It is never about just the cheese.

Sometimes it sucks is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.

You buy for your friends

Maybe this is the consumer driven “me” culture of the US. There, when your friends go out to celebrate your birthday, it is pretty common that one person picks up your tab or they all chip in a few bucks. “It’s your birthday, you shouldn’t pay.” This is normal in the US and in addition to giving gifts. You just get taken out for drinks or dinner.

In Germany it is the reverse. It is normal  to pay for your friends. This comes in varying degrees, but the most common seems to be paying for the first drink of everyone that comes to hang out. I’ve seen this several times. At our office, it comes in the form of the birthday celebrator bringing cake or other baked goods for the entire office. This can be nice for the rest of us as it means a fairly even distribution of birthdays means a steady stream of afternoon cake breaks.

This can lead to some cultural misunderstandings I’m sure, though I have thankfully not run into any problems myself. It does feel awkward to go to a party and have drinks paid for instead of the other way around. And for the outsider to not bring anything may seem rude. I constantly forget about it until my birthday comes around and then I scramble.

Difference in Cake

Cake, especially birthday cake, in the US is light and fluffy, usually bright yellow, and under a half inch of buttercream frosting. Add candles and something written on it in even more frosting. The whole thing is mostly butter and sugar in some form or another. The happy joyousness of the party is often fueled by the sugar high. This is far more common with children, though if an adult gets a birthday cake that is what you expect.

German cakes are different anyway. For one thing, Coffee and Cake is almost a fourth meal, so cakes in different forms are far more common. Cake is usually fruit based in some form and less sweet. Frosting is nearly unheard of on cake. You might get streusel with powdered sugar or today I saw one with meringue. There is nothing light and fluffy about cake either. It is usually drier and more solid. A nice practical German cake often with fruit suspended in a custard.

I have never seen candles in a German cake, though I have seen them in the store, so perhaps it is just a dangerous thing to bring to the office.

Language Class : How to wish a happy birthday in German?

Happy Birthday is a perfectly normal German phrase that I have seen on cards and heard. You see, English is cool and hip. Though the most common greeting to wish someone a happy day of oldening is “Herzlichen Glückwunsch” or “heart-felt wish of joy”. Although the word for joy here could also be “fortune” in the sense of “good luck”.

The well known birthday song is sung to the same tune, but with different words. “Zum Geburtstag, viel Glück” meaning “for (your) birthday, much happiness/luck.” It is unfortunate though that such a nice set of words to be friendly is so hard to pronounce with so many umlauts.

Otherwise much the same

So the birthday is still celebrated here. Gifts are still given and cake is still served. Friends come together to celebrate and toast your good health. It is a social occasion just like back in the US, though with a few changes.

Germans and Birthdays is a feed post from Grounded Traveler.