Growing Moss

List Update

2008-08-12T09:37:00.003-05:00

Here are some things that are going on with me and mine

Xavier is officially a walker.
Xavier has his first pair of shoes
Xavier just started a new day care that is closer to home
Oliver is getting better about recognizing letters and numbers
My wife is going back to work full time
We are looking for a new (used) car
I've started going to work early in the morning to get my hours in
As soon as we get the second car, I'm going to be on pick-up duty.
I played my first roller hockey game since Oliver was very young on Sunday.
I feel like I'm hitting my stride at work.

In which I step back between the pipes

2008-08-12T08:33:00.002-05:00

Everyone has a set of characteristics that they want other people to view them as having. For me, one of those defining characteristics is helpful. Which is how I found myself Sunday strapping on a set of goalie pads for the first time in five years.

When I was back in college many moons ago, my friend convinced a bunch of us that we wanted to start playing roller hockey. At first it was just games on the top of the parking garage. Then it was renting out a rink for a stick and puck session. Then it was joining a league and playing. At some point in all of this, I decided that since we needed a goalie (and I couldn't skate) that it would be helpful for me to grab some pads and jump in between the pipes. I wasn't good, but I enjoyed it and I was helpful. Over time I got better and got better pads. But after a while I wasn't enjoying it any more.

The problem with being a goalie is that no one really wants to play there, but it isn't as enjoyable of a game without them. In hockey, the highs of the game are when goals are scored. Consequently (especially in rec hockey), there is a lot of effort and energy expended in scoring goals and much less spent in preventing them from being scored. Unless you are the goalie, in which case your entire game is spent trying to deny goal scoring highs to the other team. Blocking shots and getting hit by the pack are what most people fear about being goalie, but they aren't actually bad. The padding absorbs most of the impact, so it rarely hurts when you get hit. Goalie pads start out heavy and become heavier as you get tired and sweaty. They generally possess a certain funkiness that comes from games upon games of accumulated sweat. The other factor in goalie life is that it takes so long to put on all of the pads and to take them off that once they are on, they aren't coming off until the game is over. As a skater, if I get bored on defense or offense, I can just switch positions with someone or take a rush when I get the puck. But a goalie can't just switch with somone. You'd end up killing 30 minutes of precious rink time making the switch.

For the skaters, the game is much more enjoyable with a goalie than without. Without a goalie, there are a couple of options, but generally what happens is that the nets are pushed over exposing the top netting and goals only count if they hit that top netting. For the better players, hitting the net is less of a challenge and closer to a basketball free throw, so the high of goal scoring is lowered. For the newer players, hitting that netting is very difficult as you have to lift the puck just a little bit and aim it precisely. For newer skaters, the sheer size of a full net and the possibility of scoring without having to be so precise makes the game more fun. And for better skaters, getting the puck past the goalie becomes a laudable goal. If you have hockey friends, no one ever talks about their open net goals, but they'll go on and on about the slapper that just had eyes for the glove side arm hole.

With all of this in mind, I listened as the captain of my new roller hockey team explained that the two primary goalies couldn't make it today. I watched as the backup goalie started to put on the pads backwards and in the wrong order. Finally I couldn't take it any more.

"I really didn't want to say this, but I've played goal before. I'm not very good, but I'll jump in this week."

And so I pulled on the goalie pants, still moist from the last poor sucker. I strapped on the oversized leg pads and tightened all of the straps. I wriggled into the body armor and pulled over my goalie jersey. I grabbed the helmet and plunked it on my head. I grabbed the blocker, the catcher and the stick. I skated out onto the rink just in time to start the game. So unwarmed, unstretched, wearing a borrowed set of pads, I played goal for the first time in five years. It was brutal. We lost 10-3. My save percentage hovered around .500. About the only saving grace was that I did a bit better in the second half of the game.

I hope that next week the real goalies show up. But if they don't I'll hop in net again, helpful as ever.

Book: Vital Friends

2008-07-07T17:48:00.002-05:00

As a member of the Gallup poll, I get to regularly voice my opinion that President Bush is doing a terrible job. If that weren't satisfying enough, a couple of weeks ago Gallup sent me a book, Vital Friends by Tom Rath. This past weekend, I was looking for something to read and I came across it again. With a shrug and a sigh, I sat down and started to read.

The premise of the book is that people in general can become happier, healthier, and more productive by focussing on their relationships. According to the author, vital friends (friends who you can't do without) fall into eight categories that describe what you get out of a relationship. Builders are great motivators. Champions stand up for you. Collaborators are friends that share your interests. Connectors are friends who introduce you to new people. Companions are always there when you need them. Energizers are the "fun" friends. Mind Openers introduce you to new things. Navigators are great at giving advice. The book breaks down each type of friend, describes what they do, how you'd describe the friend to someone else, how to strengthen that type of friendship, how to acquire more of that type of friend, and how to be a better friend of that type.

Friendships are not always mirrors in terms of what roles the parties play. For example, my wife is a builder, a companion, and a navigator. To her, I'm a companion, a navigator, and a connector. One of the nuggets of advice in the book is to appreciate the roles that your friend is best at and not dwell on the roles that your friend may not excel at. One of the biggest fights that my wife and I had was when I tried to get her to be more of a Collaborator in a hobby that she had absolutely no interest in doing.

One of the "bonuses" with the purchase of the book is access to the VitalFriends.com website. One chapter of the book describes how to use the site. On it, you can answer questions and figure out what roles each of your friends plays in your life. But there isn't a way to sign in without the code from the book. So you can recommend that a friend try it out, but in order to access the site, she would have to buy a fresh copy of the book and hope that no one grabbed the code from the book while it sat on the shelf at Borders. I appreciate that the authors want to be paid for their work, but in the age of MySpace, FaceBook, and other social networking sites, there ought to be a way to make the service available to someone without them having to purchase the book.

Favorite cheap places to take the kids in St. Louis

2008-07-04T23:28:00.004-05:00

1) The Zoo - An obvious choice, it's good all year round. Educational and free - how could you go wrong.

2) The Science Center - Another obvious choice. That it is all pretty much indoors only adds to the appeal in the winter.

3) Tower Grove Park - There are a lot of play areas and playgrounds. But what makes Tower Grove different for me is the Fountain Square wading pool. Free and open to the public, this area is a lot of fun for the munchkins and easy for the adults. Just remember to bring a dry change of clothes.

4) It's Party Time (on Watson) - They are extremely flexible in terms of what food you can bring in and adults are free. Both of our kids loved it. Just watch out on entrances and exits from the inflatable equipment - I didn't think there was nearly enough padding.

5) The pharmacy - There is a pharmacy right down the street from my house. The attraction of the pharmacy is that we can go and pick up some nickel and dime candy for Oliver and Daddy. Each time he can try something new, so it is always an adventure.

6) The Metrolink station - Oliver loves trains. The nearest Metrolink stop is within walking distance. We can usually see three trains in fifteen minutes. And when we're done, we can walk home.

7) The Mills mall play area - Another indoor play area. This was a godsend last summer when it was too hot to go outside.

8) The library - The library is a great place to go with your kids. They have puzzles and books and movies.

9) The firehouse - Not all firehouses are the same, but if yours is anything like ours, it's a great place to take the kids. When the firefighters are not out fighting fires, they are more than amenable to showing the kids the fire engines and the ambulances. And with each visit, they get a plastic fire helmet (I really need to figure out a way to gracefully refuse them - we are frequent visitors and I'd like to make sure that there is enough for other people).

I'll add more as I think of them. Do you have any that I missed?

Interesting Java behavior

2008-07-02T13:41:00.002-05:00

I recently was working with a generic list that was being populated by Hibernate.

List fooList = getFooFromHibernate();
for (Foo foo : fooList)
{
// do stuff
}

I was getting ClassCastExceptions while iterating through the list. It took a while to figure out, but the getFooFromHibernate method had a join to the BAR table in it without selecting the fields. Because of this Hibernate dumped a Foo into the list AND a Bar. When I iterated through the list, I got the exception.

This behavior can be caught with integration tests by iterating through the lists retrieved from the database.

Learning from a bad book

2008-07-01T12:55:00.002-05:00

This past weekend my wife picked up Rich Dad, Poor Dad from the shelves at my parents' house. The book is a "non-fiction" fable of a self-made man who has become rich from the advice from his rich father figure. His actual father, aka Poor Dad, is the source of the traditional advice of Study Hard, Word Hard, and Get a Good Job. The author argues that this usually translates into someone becoming a wage slave by increasing their standard of living as their wages increase. The advice from Rich Dad falls into the usual investment nuggets of Pay Yourself First, Buy Assets, and Don't Be Afraid to Take Risks.

In general, the content of the book was mixed - some good information and some bad information. The material was persuasively presented but contained little new and/or different advice. Often the interests of the author shown through as he advised the reader to purchase his board game, Cash Flow, to buy books (he's an author), and attend lectures on how to become rich (he's a motivational speaker).

The lesson I took from the book was to wake up, to get off of our collective keesters, and to do something about building up an investment portfolio that has a non-trivial return. I'm not exactly sure how to do that (the book was unclear on specifics), but I'm at least more motivated than I had been in finding out the answer. Despite being a completionist, I doubt that I'll be following up in order to read more by the author, but I can say that it was a good book at the instant I read it.

Still ticking

2008-06-04T23:30:00.002-05:00

I had surgery today on my nose. The idea was that the doctor was going to be able to fix it before it healed up in the wrong shape. However, I think that all the king's horses and all the king's men were busy today. So it's better than it used to be, but still going to be somewhat misaligned. As long as I can breathe well through it, I'll take it. Otherwise I may see a rhinoplasty in my future. That's got to be everyone's favorite word, doesn't it?

List update

2008-05-31T00:36:00.004-05:00

Here are some of the things that are going on with me:

Looking at sending the kids to private school.
Looking at paying for sending the kids to private school.
Thinking about refinancing the house.
Thinking about moving into a better school district.
Significant changes in my birth family.
I broke my nose last Sunday.
Fighting a sinus infection.
Started at a new site.
Trying to fit into a new team.
Looking into buying a car.
Contempating being done with procreation.
Happy for my procreating friends.
Monitoring the whereabouts of the newly cruising and stair climbing Xavier.
Monitoring the meltdowns of big brother.
Being unsatisified with my writing.

My first day is Monday

2008-04-13T22:21:00.000-05:00

It didn't take too long. On Monday, I rejoin the working class. I knew my life of leisure couldn't last forever. Thank goodness.

I have had better weeks

2008-04-12T08:02:00.002-05:00

If I separate the situation I'm in from how I got here, I look at this as a fabulous opportunity. I have a skill set that is very much in demand. The job market is really good right now. If I do this right, I can find a place that is rewarding personally, professionally, and financially. This is a very exciting time. But the other day

"Daddy, can we stop by your office?"
"No, I don't work there any more."
"Oh, can we go to your office?"
"That's not my office any more."
"Oh, why not?"

Shock to the system

2008-04-03T15:54:00.001-05:00

I got fired today.

Anyone looking for a developer with ASP .NET and C# experience? I think I know one.

If I ruled the world

2008-04-02T13:07:00.002-05:00

I just finished an interesting exercise. I started writing a list of all of the events that I would like to attend this month. In a 30 day month, I came up with 16 different things that I wanted to do. And here is the catch - none of them involved my family. It was all gaming related nights out.

In my own defense, five of them start well after my family goes to bed. Two of them I don't expect to go to as they occur during the day on the weekend. And four of them I consider very much optional. On redirect, I might note that I've been noted to be grumpy when awoken early in the morning after late nights, so even my ameliorations aren't as compelling.

It is somewhat eye opening that I can find that much that I want to do where the onus of child care is placed solely on my wife. In exchange, she gets a morning exercise class three times a week in the morning and one night out a month with her book club. Sometimes I wonder why she doesn't like my hobbies. Without trouble, I can think of 16 reasons.

Montessori day

2008-04-01T23:01:00.005-05:00

My wife and I went to a meeting at Chesterfield Montessori today. Afterwards we toured the school. It was a very nice place, flooded with natural light. It was remarkably quiet too even though no teachers hovered over their charges with ruler in hand. The campus is very nice with a pool, a tennis court, a garden, some nice play equipment, and a lot of green space. All in all it was definitely a place where I'd be comfortable sending my child.

They sent us a packet of information containing the usual brochures. They also included at my request a study that was published comparing the long term effects of Montessori education on a group of 10th graders, some of whom had graduated from Montessori after 6th grade. With controls in place to control for gender, SES, and minority status, the Montessori graduates performed markedly better in science and math and almost statistically better in overall GPA. They didn't show marked improvement in language.

There are a lot of things that I like about sending my children to Montessori schools. Among them is the idea of fluid transitions. When a child shows that they are ready to move up, the teachers will allow them to flow into the next classroom. This is especially appealing to me as I have been grumping about being a year in school behind some of his cousin who is three months older. I accept that no matter how the age range sliced in a traditional educational setting, someone gets left behind. It may be that he would be bigger and more emotionally and intellectually ready when his time would come, but if he has my experience, he may just be bored. Montessori would help that as he could move up a section when he is ready move up, and not just when September rolls around again.

Having trouble maintaining motivation

2008-04-01T22:44:00.003-05:00

I've lost 25 going on 30 pounds so far. I feel lighter. I've moved from a borderline 38 waist to a solid 33 waist. I need to do some shopping as belts can only help so much. I am finding myself wearing less baggy clothing as I'm less ashamed of my body. But even with all of these good things in mind, I've been having a hard time maintaining the motivation to lose weight.

The cracks in my armor are beginning to show. Last week I went out with coworkers to a Chinese place for lunch. I didn't overeat, but I finished what I'd ordered. There went that day's allotment of points. This weekend I made a double batch of cornbread with Oliver. Cooked cornmeal is Core, but cornbread is not. I'd love to confess that the cornbread went largely untasted and remained so after my wife checked and found my error, but the cornbread is no longer around to testify. And it was tasty. This morning I woke up late, had to rush the kids out of the house, forgot to pack a lunch or eat breakfast, stopped at Hardees for a breakfast sandwich, and had a Reuben sandwich for lunch. Again, not horrific, but not Core. And did I mention tasty?

Compounding my retreats off the reservation, I also have been cutting back on my exercise routine. In part, it's been schedule, but a number of days the past week I've found myself running behind, driving to work, and then not making up the exercise in other ways. At this point I should be ramping up my routine in preparation for summer running, but it's not happening. And I'm finding myself lacking the motivation to push it.

This may be a case where I am getting myself in trouble because I'm relatively easy to satisfy. Losing 25 lbs brings with it a certain level of satisfaction. And complacency. But that isn't what I need. I need to set a goal for myself. Weight loss by itself is good, but I don't see it as being an end in and of itself.

25 lbs and counting

2008-03-17T21:32:00.003-05:00

This morning I weighed myself in at 188 lbs. This makes more than 25 lbs in total weight loss since I started doing the Weight Watchers Core Plan in January. I'm solidly in a 34 waist and eying the 33s in the closet. I've also gotten a number of comments on the loss from my office mates, so I guess something is working.

I'm trying to temper my enthusiasm for the diet since I've seen significant weight loss on most diets that I've tried. Body for Life? Check. South Beach? Check. However on each of these diets, once I stopped monitoring myself, the weight jumped back on. But so far so good. I don't feel terribly deprived. It's hard to feel deprived when you can eat an apple or an orange whenever you feel hungry. Sure, I don't eat as much bread or pasta or beer as I might like, but I've tried that diet and it really didn't work.

The next step for me is going to be to start exercising. I have all the excuses in the world as to why I haven't been exercising, but even I know that they are just that - excuses. I'll feel better once I start. I know it. I just haven't.

What to do

2008-03-17T13:44:00.003-05:00

We're happy with our house. We have few major projects left to do. We like the neighborhood which is conveniently located near an elementary school, parks, and my office. There are a lot of young families with children near our children's ages. And so of course we are starting to think about moving.

I blame my neighbor. We were outside when Oliver was playing with her children. She started talking about how they were looking at moving. When I asked why, she said that the nearby elementary school was good. But after that, the middle school and the high school were downright scary. There were several weapons violations at the middle school. With her older children hitting middle school age, they were looking for a smaller house in a better school district.

I talked to my wife about the conversation and we started doing some research. The school district fared badly in the last several years of state assessment testing especially at the middle school and high school levels. The racial statistics would make our children a tiny minority at the middle school (19%) and high school (9%) levels. If we went with public schools, we would likely be looking to switch before middle school either to a private school or a new school district.

We have started doing some prelimiary looking at the housing market in different school districts. Assuming our financial situation remains the same, we could look at moving into a better school district. We've put enough equity into the house that we could afford the same size house in a better school district. We'd be paying a lot more in property taxes and would basically be paying our mortgage off longer, but we could enroll the kids in the public schools and feel confident in the education that they might receive.

But then again, this is St. Louis. So there are a ton of different private schools in which we could enroll the kids. In essence, we would more or less transfer the amount of money that we spend in day care and mortgage costs and put that towards education costs. We're still left with the quandary of how to pay for college, but that becomes a problem for another day.

At this point, I'm more inclined to look at moving. We have a good amount of equity built up in the house that would enable us to move laterally. That said, we don't have to make the decision soon. But that day is coming. And at some point, we will have to figure out what to do.

The political process

2008-02-05T22:54:00.000-06:00

My theory on elections is "Vote early, vote often." Yes, I'm from Chicago, and yes, my family has a tiny Massachusetts political history. But I'm applying that statement to a whole life of political activity. The Vote early part means that you should register to vote as soon as possible. The Vote Often part means that you should vote in as many elections as you can. Vote in primaries. Vote in school board elections. Vote for Congress. Vote for Sanjaya. Umm, strike that last one. Voting is your one true measure of saying I care enough about the process to let my opinion be heard. Having a reasoned, informed opinion is a true demonstration of your civic duty, but at least voting signals some level of interest. Too often our leaders are elected with fewer than half of all eligible voters showing up at the polls. Then they claim a mandate that the voters have spoken - when in fact most voters were not even present.

A notable absence in my theory is "And put your money where your mouth is." I don't believe that money should have as large a place in politics as it does today. It's one thing to say that money equals speech, but quite another to say that this person is allowed to speak 25 millions times louder than this other person. Publicly financed elections would allow the candidates to depend less on special interests for their office and more on voters. Yes, special interests would still have some sway, but it would be dramatically less than at current.

The other change that I would like would be to change the campaign schedule into a 20 week long affair. Every two weeks five states would have a primary, but the catch would be that the states would vote in ascending order of delegates. The first round would be something like North Dakota, South Dakota, Alaska, Vermont, and Wyoming. The last weekend would be Texas, California, New York, Illinois, and Florida. This would give the smaller states some value as discriminators, but leave the end result in suspense until just before the convention. Every state's voters would have an affirmative stake in selecting the nominee. The current process all but coronates the nominee after Super Tuesday and Texas's election in March. From a practical perspective, it makes sense to hold the coronation as soon as possible so that donors can give their money to the eventual nominee who can start to put together the national election team.

Health and Well Being

2008-02-05T22:33:00.002-06:00

You know it's a bad sign when you are in the doctor's office so often that the nurses feel like they should make small talk with you. The past couple of months we've called or visited the doctor's office on the order of once a week and sometimes more often than that. Xavier had a checkup at six months, but because of a scheduling foul up we had to reschedule Oliver's appointment for a couple of weeks later. Then Xavier got sick with some strain of RSV and we were in every couple of days to make sure that his breathing wasn't getting worse. Then Oliver gashed his forehead on the countertop while playing on the stairs (see, kids, you really can get hurt) which required stitches. Then Xavier started spiking highish (102+) fevers (related to teething?) which warranted a couple of followup visits. Then Oliver complained that it hurt to urinate resulting in another trip to the doctor. I just want to know if there is a bulk rate on copays for doctor visits.

In general, my wife's health and my health have been good - no serious illnesses or injuries. We're not getting enough sleep due to our teething toddler who does not like to be wet. Some of my sleep issues are self-inflicted though. For example, last night I was out playing Magic with friends until after 1:30. I know that if I make better choices that I will be able to get the sleep I need. It's just that the time after everyone goes to bed is the time when I can do the things that I want to do - i.e. play Magic, watch TV online, read, work ...

Making better choices is a broader topic in our house. We've been trying to cut out a lot of the processed food from our diets and move to more fruits and vegetables. I've been fairly good about being good, but I do have my weaknesses. As long as I can moderate my excesses, I should be able to take off some of the extra weight that's accumulated.

What I really need to do is to make better choices surrounding exercise. I'm loath to get on the treadmill when the kids are awake for fear that one or the other will try and play with the moving treadmill and lose a finger or something. With that in mind, early morning and late night are the only other options. Early morning generally loses out to more sleep and late night loses out to more fun pursuits like laundry, Magic, or TV. For a while I was watching my TV online while using the treadmill, but ABC.com has an annoying habit of asking you to click a button to see more show - difficult to do when running on the treadmill. NBC is better in that regard, so as soon as they have something worth watching I may find myself on their site killing two birds with one stone.

Not on my game

2008-02-05T22:24:00.001-06:00

It's been a while since I had to write anything that didn't involve curly braces in one way or another. It feels like I'm not quite hitting on all cylinders - more Pinto than Porsche. Thanks for your patience while my brain gets back up to speed.

Cleaning

2008-02-03T13:11:00.000-06:00

My wife and I have very different organizational styles. It usually isn't a problem until one of us decides that it is time to clean the house. My wife's style is to create a number of small piles of related items scattered throughout the house. She knows what is in each stack, but, to my untrained eye, it all resembles piles of crap scattered throughout the house. My style is to have a place for everything and to put everything in its place. When I come across stuff that I don't have a place for, I create a stuff I don't have a place for pile. So I take her scattered organized piles and merge them into one large disorganized pile. But I know where that pile is and I have a place to put the myriad of crap that I don't otherwise have a place for.

For day-to-day cleaning, I do a lot of what gets done. I'll vacuum when the opportunity presents itself. I'm usually the dish washer, the toy replacer, the laundry worker, and the remover of cat vomit (for often than I'd like). Dish replacer, floor sweeper, and spill wiper are equal opportunity tasks. My wife tends to gravitate to the larger projects. She's the wall spackler, kitchen rearranger, and room decorator as well as duster, bed maker, and bathroom cleaner. In some ways it's a flawed system because anything that isn't covered by the lists above tends to build up.

Happy Birthday to me

2008-02-03T10:00:00.000-06:00

Every year for my birthday I have a potluck, Thanksgiving style dinner for my friends. I make the turkey and the stuffing, provide the drinks, and clean the house. The couple of weeks beforehand are always a challenge because I have to make the guest list and clean the house.

Making the guest list is a challenge of restraint. If I had my way, I'd invite everyone I ever met. However, we just don't have space and seating for that size of a group (note- food is generally not a concern). My goal is generally to have about 30 adults. My initial draft guest list was about sixty adults. From there my wife and I get the list down to a managable size and the I send out the invite. I tried Evite last year, but some people really don't like it. I may go back to it though just for convenience sake.

Cleaning the house is always a big chore. I'd like to think that we aren't messy people, but I'd also like to think that we're millionaires. We started two weeks before the main event and were still putting some stuff behind closed doors on the morning of. But other than that, the house was in shape.

The event itself was successful. There were 21 adults and 14 children. Everyone had a good time. My wife told me that there was too much meat and too little in terms of sides. Considering that there were two turkeys and a ham available versus stuffing, green bean casserole, a cornmeal dish, potatoes, a bean salad and a sweet potato soup, I'll agree with her. I got a call from some friends who were overseas and were upset that they missed out. Next year, guys - I promise.

I'd like to close by saying thanks to all who attended and made the day so special.

Edit: I'd be remiss to not point out the text messages that I got from DC and Chicago to wish me a happy birthday. Thanks, guys.

Why parents get gray hair

2007-08-17T00:01:00.000-05:00

So my wife picked me up from work with both boys. We headed to the grocery store to pick up some food. When we got out of the store, I went to put the groceries away in the trunk and my wife tried to get the boys into the car seats. Oliver went first. He was being especially difficult, so my wife tossed her wallet (that contained the car keys) into the front seat so that she could use both hands to get him in his seat. Finally she got Oliver in his car seat. And then she closed the door. And I closed the trunk. And the car was locked. Apparently the wallet/keys had bounced just right or the car decided that the doors had been unlocked for just long enough. Whatever the cause we now had our toddler stapped into his car seat locked in a black car on a scorcher of a day.

My wife called 911 while I tried to talk my son through unbuckling his harness. Despite all of those weeks of "I do it," he wasn't able to get either the belt open or the chest strap. His legs were just not long enough to be able to do more than be able to touch the door handle, so he couldn't open it.

There was a UCity fire ambulance in the parking lot. We caught the one of the UCity firemen coming out of the store and asked if they could help. They didn't have the tools in the ambulance, but were willing to call for help if we needed it.

A few minutes went by before the Ladue police car arrived. The police officer didn't have the tools needed to open the door. He called for help from the Ladue fire department. The UCity fireman called for his guys as well so that we had backup in case their toolset didn't work. Meanwhile, we tried to help Oliver figure out how to open the door to no avail again. He said that he could break a window if he had to, but he obviously would prefer not to have to.

A couple more minutes went by and a Ladue fire engine arrived. They started working on the door with a jimmy. But the anti-theft measures made the jimmy ineffective. As they were working, the UCity fire engine arrived. The UCity guys went at it with a wedge and a long hook. With the car alarm going off, they unlocked the doors and we rescued Oliver from the car.

The firemen tried to take Oliver inside the fire engine where the air conditioning was going, but he is terrified of getting in the inside of the fire engine. They tried to take Oliver into the air conditioning of the police car. Same reaction. Finally I picked him up and took him into the shade and let him relax against me. They gave him a cool towel for his head and some cool water to drink. A nice lady from Schnucks brought him an orange balloon. The police officer gave him a badge.

I tried to say thank you to the police officer and the firemen. But how do you do that? They were glad to get the thanks, but I think they were all more just happy that everything turned out all right.

Through the ordeal, Oliver was a trooper. I think it helped that both my wife and I were there and that neither one of us was acting terribly frantic. It helped that we chose to park in a somewhat shaded spot. It helped that Oliver likes police cars and fire trucks. It helped that the whole thing only lasted 30 minutes or so. But Oliver was just really brave.

Finally we strapped everyone in and headed home to unload the groceries before going out to eat. As I opened his door something bopped me in the face. I moved my head out of the way and bent down to help unbuckle him. He asked me where his ballon went. I looked upwards to see his orange balloon floating away into the sky.

After dealing with a justifiably unhappy toddler we went out to eat. For some reason, I thought Ethiopian food would be fun. If you haven't tried eating Ethiopian food with a toddler, let me suggest that you DON'T. It's not fun. Especially when someone is a bit frazzled and has sharing issues.

A real, live boy!

2007-08-13T22:58:00.000-05:00

After five days of moving like an old man, I'm starting to be able to move like myself again. I don't have to contort my arms and shoulders, to wriggle my body and to finally push myself up into a semi-sitting position. I don't have to use both arms to gently lower myself into a chair. I can walk with minimal pain. It's been nice shedding the shackles of the supine and get vertical again. I'm still not 100%, but I'm getting there.

There are still the things that I still can't do. I'm not supposed to lift heavy objects like car seats or misbehaving toddlers. Apparently I can't wear pants that fit appropriately across my midsection either. I don't feel comfortable driving yet. And if I'm in bed when a child needs me to come comfort them, they just have to suck it up for an extra couple of minutes while I flail out of bed.

I know things are getting better and I'm encouraged. It's just hard to keep that in the forefront of my mind all the time.

Oversharing

2007-08-11T08:53:00.000-05:00

Is it oversharing to say that when I finally went poopy in the potty that I was so proud of myself that I wanted to show someone? Thankfully, no pictures are attached.

Let the healing begin!

2007-08-09T09:27:00.000-05:00

I've got a brand new scar and a pain in my groin that keeps me close to horizontal. I've had a couple of vertical jaunts that levelled me, so for the time being I'm going to avoid the big V. One trip to the bathroom in the middle of the night caused me tosee spots and then ground. Another trip to join my family for lunch had to be aborted when I started seeing spots again. My parents are in town and have been keeping me company, while my wife tends to a toddler, an infant, and an invalid. It might be easier to tend to the toddler if it weren't 101 outside or if he'd get the sleep that everyone so obviously needs.

But all of this aside, I've had the surgery that will enable me to be a more able husband, father, and friend. For that I'm thankful.