GUESS WHAT NORMAL IStag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1575192010-07-12T10:27:51-07:00For anyone who grew up in an alcoholic householdTypePadFlower Essences & Anxiety: Spray-on Courage? tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0133f2330944970b2010-07-12T10:27:51-07:002010-07-12T10:27:51-07:00A few months ago, I went with my fiance to a herbal healing shop called Rosemary's Garden up in Sebastopol, Ca. He'd done some reading about herbs that can be helpful for foot and joint pain (such as arnica, which...amy edenAnxious? You? Succumb to the Inner Smiletag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef013484e0fb9d970c2010-06-26T15:12:34-07:002010-06-26T15:12:34-07:00You can't worry and smile at the same time. Try it. First, smile. Now, think of one of the typical worrysome or anxiety-provoking thoughts that messes with your self-esteem and sense of everything being all right. For me, today, it's,...amy edenCan I Make You Happier? (A GWNI Reader Survey!)tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef01348488cce9970c2010-06-17T15:10:16-07:002010-06-17T15:14:37-07:00Thank you for reading my blog! I am fulfilled by knowing that my posts have helped people sort out how to get happy. But, I wonder, can I make you even happier with Guess What Normal Is? I'd love it...amy edenThat DONATE Buttontag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef013484821533970c2010-06-16T16:10:46-07:002010-06-16T16:10:46-07:00I put up a Donate button a couple months ago, but never commented on why. I plan to use money donated to Guess What Normal Is for running the blog, which includes paying the monthly rent, imagery, answering email, as...amy edenResentment is Poisonustag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0134848139d6970c2010-06-16T15:34:15-07:002010-06-16T17:14:44-07:00I just came across this quote while searching for quotes on babies' temper tantrums. I immediately thought of all of us: RESENTMENT IS LIKE TAKING POISON AND WAITING FOR THE OTHER PERSON TO DIE. --Malachy McCourt I laughed out loud...amy edenRelating to Others, Adult to Adult: Keeping Your Composure Up and Your Defenses Downtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0134830865d7970c2010-06-04T14:57:56-07:002010-06-04T20:48:06-07:00Respect begets respect, right? Have you ever felt powerless over your reaction to someone, got defensive, and behaved like a child for no other reason than you were somehow triggered by the other person's tone of voice or posture? (We...amy edenCan You Grow Up from Being the Child of an Alcoholic? tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef013480ba9507970c2010-05-17T06:05:00-07:002010-05-17T10:38:36-07:00Growing up as an adult child requires 3 steps:
1. Processing your pain
2. Learning about healthy living
3. Putting new behaviors into practice
Each of these three aspects will deliver you into your own version of true adulthood.
amy edenSelf-Sabotage: 5 Tips for Breaking Free!tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0133ed659f81970b2010-05-08T22:13:59-07:002010-05-08T22:28:02-07:00Let's skip the 'signs of self-sabotage' list, because you know what the signs of self-sabotage are. Your gut tells you, every time. You know the frustrated, disappointed feeling that comes when you didn't do something the way you could have,...amy edenAmy's Napkin Notes - Recap of Al-Anon Meeting tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef01347ff2c6d7970c2010-04-17T22:55:25-07:002010-04-18T13:57:47-07:00I wanted to share my experience going to the Al-Anon conference today because I got a lot out of it. I'd forgotten the beauty of twelve-step programs, or any support group, which is that you never know what's going to...amy edenAl-Anon Event in Rohnert Park, Ca This Weekend, April 16-18tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0133ecbb0447970b2010-04-16T07:44:36-07:002010-04-16T07:48:15-07:00I'm going to be attending this local Al-Anon event on Saturday (although it runs all weekend). It looks like there are going to be a lot of speakers. I expect that it will inspire 1,000 new posts! AL-ANON EVENT flyer...amy edenStaying Put after a Lifetime of Abandonment and Grand Exitstag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0133ec6efad5970b2010-04-03T16:46:19-07:002010-04-04T11:50:24-07:00First you're abandoned, then you live with an urge to flee. I have spent my entire life anxiously ready for things to fall apart. My shoulders are never completely without tension, same for my eyes in their sockets. There's always...amy edenSugar Addiction and the Alcoholism Linktag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef01310f44f403970c2010-03-08T15:31:22-08:002010-03-08T15:31:22-08:00I've been meaning to share this link to a news article that ran earlier this month on AOL news online, which claims there is a link between a child's sugar cravings and his or her potential for alcoholism. It's not...amy edenCare for a Drink?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef012877b2a3b4970c2010-02-19T21:06:24-08:002010-02-20T10:30:31-08:00If your parent had a drinking problem, if alcoholism runs in your family--should you drink? For some, the answer is an obvious no. No, of course you shouldn't drink. It's too big of a risk to take, feels like playing...amy edenSame Issues, Better Labeltag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a89907cc970b2010-02-13T15:18:32-08:002010-02-15T11:50:31-08:00I've always been uneasy with the label "Adult Children of Alcoholics." It's part label and part diagnosis. And for me it carries ultra-icky feelings with it. For one, the label "Adult Children of Alcoholics" feels left-over from the 1970s. As...amy edenWin a Free Copy of "Into the Light" tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a8046c8f970b2010-01-23T23:34:59-08:002010-01-23T23:34:59-08:00I'm giving away 3 free copies of Judy Klipin's eBook , Into the Light, which was written for Adult Children! The first 3 readers to send me an email with a description of a positive change you're proud of will...amy edenOvercoming a Dysfunctional Childhood, the View from South Africatag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef012876fbe139970c2010-01-21T16:01:07-08:002010-01-21T22:30:50-08:00It's not just me, not just us--adult children of alcoholics--who need to grow up in adulthood, who struggle with self-worth, and seek approval. It's not just us, the 1 in 3 who grew up with alcoholic parents (in the States,...amy edenIf You Love Someone with Alcoholic Parentstag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef012876b57bd5970c2010-01-07T15:03:50-08:002010-01-07T15:05:01-08:00This post is for people who love an adult child. I receive a lot of emails from people who are in a relationship with an adult child of alcoholics. They are trying to understand the person they love, or are...amy edenPainfully Imperfect, Depending on Your Vantage Pointtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a773b666970b2010-01-03T20:08:56-08:002010-01-03T20:08:56-08:00Never give up on yourself. Well, for an hour, or a day here and there, that's fine, but you know what I mean--don't ever commit to giving up on yourself. No matter how imperfect we feel, no matter how painfully,...amy edenWhat's THAT Supposed to Mean?!tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a5f5a4eb970c2009-09-26T23:23:07-07:002009-09-26T23:22:14-07:00This short book is PACKED with ah-has. It's written by Deborah Tannen, Ph.D, and called That's Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships In the book she writes about why critical comments can mean 'solidarity' to...amy edenConditional Parenting, Conditional Lovetag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a59356e6970b2009-09-23T21:58:51-07:002009-09-26T12:14:01-07:00Conditional love is like the word LOVE with the word IF stuffed into it. Lifove. If you do this, I'll love you. Lifove feels bad. I guess I can sort of see how it makes sense in theory, sort of,...amy edenI Am the Garbage and the Jeweltag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a5c0ead3970c2009-09-13T15:29:53-07:002009-09-13T16:09:05-07:00"If we have not set up the target, it cannot be hit by an arrow. This is to say that each time we retaliate with aggressive words and actions, we are strengthening the habit of anger." These aren't my words,...amy edenOn the Nature of Making Changes in Your Life tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a5a19361970c2009-09-06T15:18:18-07:002009-09-08T09:31:54-07:00When is the last time a thought went through your head that contained some wish or hope that you could change something in your life? Very recently, I bet. (Maybe right before you came to this site?) We think about...amy edenBook of Note - Wayne Kritsberg's 'The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome: A Step-by-Step Guide to Discovery and Recovery'tag:typepad.com,2003:post-675261572009-06-02T17:12:33-07:002009-06-04T20:48:36-07:00The shortest and probably the most concise book about why children of alcoholics have the problems they do is The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome: A Step-by-Step Guide to Discovery and Recovery by Wayne Kritsberg. (It's $8 on Amazon.com) You'll...amy edenOn Mother's Daytag:typepad.com,2003:post-665781452009-05-09T12:08:00-07:002009-05-09T19:04:12-07:00"There is nothing so difficult to arrive at as the nature and personality of one's parents. Death, about which so much mystery is made, is perhaps no mystery at all. But the history of one's parents has to be pieced...amy edenOn Forgivenesstag:typepad.com,2003:post-664252272009-05-05T23:17:53-07:002009-05-05T23:17:53-07:00People sometimes refuse to forgive what someone has done because they think of forgiveness as giving in or condoning bad behavior; that's not it. Forgiveness doesn't mean saying that something was okay, just that you are at peace with what...amy eden