GUESS WHAT NORMAL IStag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1575192010-03-08T15:31:22-08:00For anyone who grew up in an alcoholic householdTypePadSugar Addiction and the Alcoholism Linktag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef01310f44f403970c2010-03-08T15:31:22-08:002010-03-08T15:31:22-08:00I've been meaning to share this link to a news article that ran earlier this month on AOL news online, which claims there is a link between a child's sugar cravings and his or her potential for alcoholism. It's not...amy edenCare for a Drink?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef012877b2a3b4970c2010-02-19T21:06:24-08:002010-02-20T10:30:31-08:00If your parent had a drinking problem, if alcoholism runs in your family--should you drink? For some, the answer is an obvious no. No, of course you shouldn't drink. It's too big of a risk to take, feels like playing...amy edenSame Issues, Better Labeltag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a89907cc970b2010-02-13T15:18:32-08:002010-02-15T11:50:31-08:00I've always been uneasy with the label "Adult Children of Alcoholics." It's part label and part diagnosis. And for me it carries ultra-icky feelings with it. For one, the label "Adult Children of Alcoholics" feels left-over from the 1970s. As...amy edenWin a Free Copy of "Into the Light" tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a8046c8f970b2010-01-23T23:34:59-08:002010-01-23T23:34:59-08:00I'm giving away 3 free copies of Judy Klipin's eBook , Into the Light, which was written for Adult Children! The first 3 readers to send me an email with a description of a positive change you're proud of will...amy edenOvercoming a Dysfunctional Childhood, the View from South Africatag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef012876fbe139970c2010-01-21T16:01:07-08:002010-01-21T22:30:50-08:00It's not just me, not just us--adult children of alcoholics--who need to grow up in adulthood, who struggle with self-worth, and seek approval. It's not just us, the 1 in 3 who grew up with alcoholic parents (in the States,...amy edenIf You Love Someone with Alcoholic Parentstag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef012876b57bd5970c2010-01-07T15:03:50-08:002010-01-07T15:05:01-08:00This post is for people who love an adult child. I receive a lot of emails from people who are in a relationship with an adult child of alcoholics. They are trying to understand the person they love, or are...amy edenPainfully Imperfect, Depending on Your Vantage Pointtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a773b666970b2010-01-03T20:08:56-08:002010-01-03T20:08:56-08:00Never give up on yourself. Well, for an hour, or a day here and there, that's fine, but you know what I mean--don't ever commit to giving up on yourself. No matter how imperfect we feel, no matter how painfully,...amy edenWhat's THAT Supposed to Mean?!tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a5f5a4eb970c2009-09-26T23:23:07-07:002009-09-26T23:22:14-07:00This short book is PACKED with ah-has. It's written by Deborah Tannen, Ph.D, and called That's Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships In the book she writes about why critical comments can mean 'solidarity' to...amy edenConditional Parenting, Conditional Lovetag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a59356e6970b2009-09-23T21:58:51-07:002009-09-26T12:14:01-07:00Conditional love is like the word LOVE with the word IF stuffed into it. Lifove. If you do this, I'll love you. Lifove feels bad. I guess I can sort of see how it makes sense in theory, sort of,...amy edenI Am the Garbage and the Jeweltag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a5c0ead3970c2009-09-13T15:29:53-07:002009-09-13T16:09:05-07:00"If we have not set up the target, it cannot be hit by an arrow. This is to say that each time we retaliate with aggressive words and actions, we are strengthening the habit of anger." These aren't my words,...amy edenOn the Nature of Making Changes in Your Life tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341c692c53ef0120a5a19361970c2009-09-06T15:18:18-07:002009-09-08T09:31:54-07:00When is the last time a thought went through your head that contained some wish or hope that you could change something in your life? Very recently, I bet. (Maybe right before you came to this site?) We think about...amy edenBook of Note - Wayne Kritsberg's 'The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome: A Step-by-Step Guide to Discovery and Recovery'tag:typepad.com,2003:post-675261572009-06-02T17:12:33-07:002009-06-04T20:48:36-07:00The shortest and probably the most concise book about why children of alcoholics have the problems they do is The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome: A Step-by-Step Guide to Discovery and Recovery by Wayne Kritsberg. (It's $8 on Amazon.com) You'll...amy edenOn Mother's Daytag:typepad.com,2003:post-665781452009-05-09T12:08:00-07:002009-05-09T19:04:12-07:00"There is nothing so difficult to arrive at as the nature and personality of one's parents. Death, about which so much mystery is made, is perhaps no mystery at all. But the history of one's parents has to be pieced...amy edenOn Forgivenesstag:typepad.com,2003:post-664252272009-05-05T23:17:53-07:002009-05-05T23:17:53-07:00People sometimes refuse to forgive what someone has done because they think of forgiveness as giving in or condoning bad behavior; that's not it. Forgiveness doesn't mean saying that something was okay, just that you are at peace with what...amy edenDon't Tell Me About Authority Figure Issues! tag:typepad.com,2003:post-657923392009-04-25T19:13:18-07:002009-04-25T19:25:20-07:00Authority figure issues anyone? Oh, yes. We've got them. I've posted before about our complicated relationship with authority figures (in college, it's professors, in the work world, it's our bosses, our new "moms" and "dads"). Mainly, I wrote about authority...amy edenBe Spontaneous, it will Bring You Joytag:typepad.com,2003:post-653587952009-04-11T17:11:55-07:002009-04-15T17:35:31-07:00There are moments in which I feel terribly grateful that I didn’t break things apart in my life. Not that I’m itching to break things apart, but I think we all live with the occasional urge to flee the scene...amy edenAre You Most Comfortable One-on-One?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-645070732009-03-23T15:15:45-07:002009-04-11T17:34:25-07:00Are you the kind of person who has always spent time with friends, family, or co-workers one-on-one, rather than in small groups It seems to me that people tend to fall into two types, being either 'group' people or 'solo'...amy edenWhat I've been up to lately...tag:typepad.com,2003:post-632128732009-02-22T20:23:07-08:002009-02-22T20:23:07-08:00Creating life, a son! I promise I'll be back on Guess What Normal Is soon as I'm able... --amy edenamy edenA Gift is Just a Gift - How to Not Meet Expectationstag:typepad.com,2003:post-598378842008-12-24T10:12:04-08:002008-12-24T10:12:04-08:00I think that most people could care less what's inside a wrapped box. I'm psyched to receive just about anything. But some people--uh, narcissists--open presents seeking themselves. They approach gifts with a narcissistic mind, believing that your present to them is a reflection of them. They believe your gift is an expression of who they are in your eyes, which, naturally, is extremely interesting to them. But, of course, your gift does not define them, reflect them, or justify their existence. It's just a gift. The best you and I can do is to detach from worrying about how a narcissist reacts to your gift to him or her. Whatever their reaction is - that's theirs. You did your bit by giving something that's better than a box of Wheaties. Also, we should take care not to expect self-definition from the gifts we receive. amy eden100 Ways to Live Better Nowtag:typepad.com,2003:post-587071162008-11-18T21:51:45-08:002008-11-18T21:51:45-08:00Here's a great list of actions--one hundred of them--we can take to improve our lives immediately. One hundred things makes for a long To Do list, but this one's inspiring, not defeating, and I like how the list is organized...amy edenAre You In Your Own Way? tag:typepad.com,2003:post-580969942008-11-08T16:14:58-08:002008-11-08T16:14:58-08:00Do you often find yourself thinking, "Why does this seem to always happen....?" Do you realize that OF COURSE it always happens? It always happens because your frame of mind hasn't changed although the situation may have changed -- your frame of mind will continue to interpret things as it does until you reconsider how you view your world. amy edenOctober is Anti-Depression Month, Get Your Depression Basics Heretag:typepad.com,2003:post-566636272008-10-10T20:20:00-07:002008-10-10T20:20:00-07:00If you're depressed, chances are you already know it. Being depressed is not a state of being to feel ashamed of. It happens--a lot, to a lot of people. Are you hesitating to seek treatment because you don't want to admit to yourself or a therapist or doctor that you're depressed? Depression is normal, and common, and the sooner you admit your depressed, the sooner you can work to feel better (then you'll wonder why you waited). amy edenFall is Here, You Depressed Yet? tag:typepad.com,2003:post-565513972008-10-07T00:33:45-07:002008-10-07T00:33:45-07:00As fall approaches, be ready to handle its affect on your mood. For starters, don't travel to Iceland if you're sensitive to darkness in the afternoon! Figure out what's going on (are you 'depressed' or DEPRESSED?), and take action to manage your mental state. This may mean adding exercise and modifying your diet for some people and medication and therapy for others -- in all cases, it'll require a forgiving, nurturing frame of mind. amy edenRead Before Eating: Simple Ways to Educate Yourself about Foodtag:typepad.com,2003:post-560019602008-09-24T16:22:32-07:002008-09-24T16:22:32-07:00Eating becomes an act of love as soon as you begin to educate yourself about what you're putting in your body. (The food manufacturers don't care about your health like you do. They care about making a buck - your hard-earned buck.) For a meaningful book about eating and emotions, I really like Geneen Roth's When Food is Love - but I recommend all of her books to be honest.amy eden5 Tips for Coping with Commitment Issues (Theirs)tag:typepad.com,2003:post-553287662008-09-12T05:07:00-07:002008-09-12T05:07:00-07:00But, whose commitment issues are you most concerned about? Are you concerned about your ability to live up to commitments? Or, as you more concerned about the lack of someone else's ability to commit? My guess is that we're more concerned with the commitments that we wish other people would make to us than our own commitments. That's classic ACA behavior (wishing that someone were "more" than what they are.) If you're the over-achieving type of ACA, then you probably are very reliable and very critical of the inability of others to be just as reliable as you are. You may even unconsciously 'test' people on this. amy eden