Some warning signs are easy to spot: suspicious hand movements, conveniently loud backing tracks, or the occasional chord confidently played behind the capo.

Why worry about actual notes when you already have everyone’s attention?

Now, most of us like to look as though we’re in control. Some people even manage to pull it off.

Just maybe not with their guitar.

So stay alert. Trust your ears. And whenever you suspect finger syncing, remember the first rule of guitar safety:

Check which side of the capo they’re playing on.

For further training, head to YouTube and enjoy a friendly game of Spot the Mistake. You should have enough material to keep you busy.

From the Eternal Truths archives: this warning was originally issued on Instagram on September 25, 2024 ; inspired by a photograph of someone famous apparently discovering the unexplored territory behind a capo.

The post Warning: Beware of Finger Syncers first appeared on Guitar Fail.

And sometimes… it isn’t.

There’s always a little guilt when a guitar leaves. But then again, that guilt is probably only matched by the joy you felt when you got it in the first place.

Maybe that’s okay.

Some guitars become part of your story for years. Others are just a chapter. A very short, surprisingly expensive, yet memorable chapter titled “Oops.”

And you know what? It was still a pretty good chapter.

From the Eternal Truths archives: this little moment of guitar acceptance was first proclaimed on social media January 29, 2024.

The post Some Guitars Are Just a Chapter first appeared on Guitar Fail.

One guitar can change a man’s life for a day. Now imagine what a guitar store gift card could do. Eternal bliss?

A guitar a day certainly sounds pretty close to eternal bliss. And if you’re the one supplying a new guitar every day, congratulations: you’ve basically become that guitarist’s hero forever.

But you don’t actually need someone to keep handing you guitars for the rest of your life. You could simply start collecting them yourself. Keep going. Eventually, you’ll have enough to open a guitar store in your garage.

At which point happiness becomes self-sustaining.

From the Eternal Truths archives: originally proclaimed on Instagram on May 23, 2024.

The post The Guitar-a-Day Happiness Plan first appeared on Guitar Fail.

How likely are you to lose it within a week?

According to highly questionable Guitar Fail statistics, the answer is: Very.

But look on the bright side. An 80% chance of losing a pick probably means an 80% chance of finding one again later ; usually in the laundry or inside the couch.

Yes… It will always be somewhere so obvious you’ll feel personally insulted by it.

From the archives

This one first appeared on Guitar Fail’s social feeds (on November 28, 2023) before being rescued, rebuilt and given the full Guitar Fail Data Lab treatment. The original joke survived. The statistics did not improve.

The post How to Choose a Guitar Pick? first appeared on Guitar Fail.

Gimme more of ’em… They’ll bring me peace. They’ll bring me happiness. As for love? Who knows. Maybe someday people will love me for being the bringer of sweet guitar notes.

It could happen.

My therapist said to find my happy place. Pretty sure she meant, me, surrounded by a sea of guitar.

I may need a bigger room.

Side note: This Eternal Truth was originally proclaimed on Instagram on February 9, 2024.

The post One Guitar Is Never Enough first appeared on Guitar Fail.

Pro tip: If your playing doesn’t mesmerize them, at least make sure it’s memorable.

Sure, the volume knob works both ways. Technically. But when life gets loud, turning down feels suspiciously like surrender.

So crank it up to 11. Drown out your problems. Annoy the neighbors. Call it therapy if anyone asks.

Just make sure you’re the one holding the guitar.

Side note: This Eternal Truth was originally proclaimed on Instagram on February 26, 2024.

The post When Life Gets Loud, Get Louder first appeared on Guitar Fail.

Today’s lesson is all about Metal…

What Does it Take to Play Metal : a Breakdown of the Equation

Surprisingly, to play a good heavy metal lick you only need three things :

• Angst… A lot of it !
• Distortion… Your tone needs to be drowned in it ! The more distortion, the more your angst will look real… scary real!
• A double bass pedal blasting the shit out of that tune.

Angst and distortion are the meat of good metal riff… The double bass pedal adds that final doom flavor.

No, technically a double pedal doesn’t make it four required things !

That’s not how math works. At least not our math.

Bonus Math Note

• If you use a pointy guitar, it automatically adds 100% metal to your metal ! Now, that’s heavy.
• Headbanging never hurts except maybe your neck. Remember though:, headbanging is not just an art, but a science. More on that later… or not because our departments are understaffed.
• Metal is velocity. I don’t want to unnecessarily drown you in details but you need to remember V = D/T where D is the distance travelled across the fretboard and T is the time required to get there.

Therefore the bigger the D and the shorter the T, the greater the V. In plain guitarist English: play more notes, faster.

Does that automatically make your Metal better?

According to Guitar Fail Math 101, yes. According to musicians, apparently we need more research.

Until next time… Class dismissed.

The post Metal Explained (Violently) first appeared on Guitar Fail.

That’s it! That’s the saying! Who needs more?

More on that saying? I don’t need more. You don’t either.

More guitar though? Yeah I probably need a bit more. And so do you.

Let’s start collecting because real happiness probably kicks in around five. Ain’t that easy?

Side note : This one was originally proclaimed on Instagram May 3, 2024.

The post Guitar = Happiness. That’s It. first appeared on Guitar Fail.

So here it is, belatedly entering the permanent collection of Guitar Fail shenanigans and assorted creations…

Meet Harm the Omelets™.

A wee bit of context here…

Back in December 2025, Fender released a replica of Tom Morello’s Arm the Homeless guitar. An unlikely candidate for the signature treatment, perhaps, considering how peculiar the original instrument is. But hey, an iconic guitar deserves the signature treatment, right?

I’m not going to retell the whole Arm the Homeless story because Guitar World, as well as many other medias, did a perfectly good job of that. The short version: it started as a guitar Morello hated, was gradually Frankensteined into something entirely his own, acquired some hand-drawn hippos along the way, and eventually became one of his defining instruments.

As for Fender, I’m tempted to say their handling of guitar designs became… somewhat more controversial a few months later. But that’s another story for another day. Maybe.

Anyway.

Fender releases Arm the Homeless, and my brain, working in mysterious ways, reads: Harm the Omelets. Not only that, but the hippos immediately turn into fried eggs.

Confused, I was. And obviously amused.

Amused enough to grab the graphics tablet and sketch the thing… which rapidly turned into an imaginary New Guitar Day for the mighty Tom Moreggo.

You know it’s New Guitar Day when the message gets… mixed. And confusing.

Pun count officially overcooked.

The post Harm the Omelets™ : Tom Moreggo’s New Guitar Day first appeared on Guitar Fail.

Your heart says yes. Your bank account says: Absolutely not. Repeatedly.

Which is where the (entirely imaginary) GuitarFailCard™ comes in.

Designed specifically for guitarists suffering from chronic G.A.S. (Gear Acquisition Syndrome), the GuitarFailCard™ offers absolutely no additional purchasing power whatsoever.

But it does make financial rejection look slightly more official. Because some things in life are priceless.

That guitar you absolutely, definitely, unquestionably need?

Apparently not.

Side note from the archives

The GuitarFailCard™ originally lived on Guitar Fail’s social feeds before being rescued from the depths of the Instagrams and assorted algorithmic abysses. Another home-grown Guitar Fail creation finally entering the Shenanigans collection.

The post GuitarFailCard : For Everything Your Bank Account Won’t Let You Buy first appeared on Guitar Fail.