Guru Writes

Guruwrites now in Ukraine

2014-05-21T11:07:00.001+05:30

Much is written about the Modi wave. But very little about this blog and how it breached new geographic boundaries. And it has done so without the knowledge of the author. It has done when everyone including the author and the blog's single digit readership base thought this blog was a dead blog, or as John Cleese would say, an ex-blog. Imagine the blog getting 22 views from Ukraine in the last 1 month alone. And Russians are invading Ukraine. So what does all this mean to the geo-political strategic importance of this non-descript blog?
Still not believing? Here it is.

So, given the abysmally low expectations the author sets for himself, this is encouraging. I might write more frequently so that I might also get readers from Azerbaijan.

North Bangalorean's Tour To Jayanagar - Capital Of South Bangalore (Kannada Comedy)

2013-04-21T14:12:00.001+05:30

Find out all that you never knew about Jayanagar and will probably never ever know.

Pancharatna Kritis, 5 years of blogging and nothing else

2011-05-08T01:16:00.008+05:30

It required almost a year and change of geographical location of the author before posting something new on this, what is now widely believed in the bloggers' circles to be, almost dead blog. I don't offer the reason that I was lazy or didn't have anything interesting to write about. I shall shun all such exhibition of modesty and will not offer to give any explanation. Since none is needed or asked for.

Coming to the topic, what made me write this post on an otherwise uneventful Saturday evening, are someone answering to the name of Thyagaraja of the 18th century, his famed Pancharatna Kritis and the rendition of those Kritis by one Mr. Dr. M Balamurali Krishna (hailed by some as modern day Thyagaraja although it is hard to believe Thyagaraja was from ancient times) which I listened to today as I have listened to for very many times for very many years. So what's there in this? Neither Thyagaraja nor his compositions need introduction from this esteemed blogger. Dr. M Balamurali Krishna is also known to many and is more popular than me although I don't have the backing statistics. Actually there's nothing new. Unlike my discovery of Beatles a few years back, I know from a long time about these persons associated with carnatic music. (To pick a random date, I would say, from 17th April 1994 to be precise.) And to be even more precise, I guess (yes, I guess precisely) Dr. M Balamurali Krishna's rendition of Pancharatna Krithis was my first exposure to these '5 gems of compositions' by Thyagaraja. Over the years I have listened to the Pancharatna Krithis, as with anyone who is aware of carnatic music, many many times over. But what is it that gives such joy in listening to these particular five songs of Mr. T. Raja (not that the other compositions don't but these surpass the others)? What is it that makes the songs even more pleasant to hear when sung in a group? I am sure it is not just the branding of them being 'Pancharatna Kritis'. Neither did anyone market it to me as 'Pancharatna Kritis - From the composer of Nagumomu. In a media player near you'. And what exactly does Dr. BMK do with these songs that make them look as if Thyagaraja had him in mind while composing the songs? If any of you have answers to any of these, please email me at post.to.guru-at-gmail.com. Or maybe comment. I need some comments to bedeck my otherwise dreary looking blog.

Also there was this other thing that crossed my mind a few days back since it had not crossed my mind for several years. And it is that it sounds odd to me that at Thyagaraja Aradhana people sing to Thyagaraja, the songs that he himself wrote and set the tune to. Is it just me or do any of you too think so? And they do this every year! Maybe you might consider singing compositions of P. Das or those of the two of the other three - Shyamashastri and Muthuswamy Dikshitar - who make up the carnatic music trinity alongwith Thyagaraja. I was talking about this the other day with the honourable Arun Parisarapremi. And he seemed to agree with my thoughts. If you too agree as well, you know what to do, right?

And as the wheels of time roll by, this blog turns 5 in 3 days on May 10th. What started off with humble beginnings, has expectedly remained humble barring the occasional delusions of grandeur that grips the author. 5 years have passed. Is it time to elect a new author? SMS Y for a yes and SMS N for a no to some number mentioned by any of the high decibel news anchors of our illustrious news channels.

A Very Hypocritical Post

2010-05-15T13:38:00.005+05:30

The futility of profound contemplation regarding certain matters never stops some from thinking, arguing, theorizing and even writing elaborate books on their 'reasoned' arguments. Free will is one of the pet subjects for such people-who-have-time-to-think-about-things-that-are-pointless. You can argue in favour of or against free will and appear convincing as well as unconvincing at the same time. Irrespective of that your life remains more or less what it is. Nothing really changes by delving deep into whether free will is there.

God. Another entity whose existence or non-existence is a subject of intense reasoning and philosophy. People who believe or don't in God continue to hold onto their beliefs(interestingly, even the atheists generally say they don't believe in God and not 'I have reasoned out the non-existence of God') despite earnest attempts by the opposing camp or, to put it eloquently, by the members of the 'opposing school of thought'. Again all the mental energies expended on this subject appear to be a humongous waste. But still it continues to be expended much like Advani's attempts to be the Prime Minister of this nation.

Which brings me to politics. Why do people like me, who can at the most go out and cast a single vote, care so much about which coalition/party forms the Government? Or for that matter whether Dr. Singh is weak or whether Gadkari can bring his party to power? Absolutely inexplicable, given that nobody is willing to offer me the PM's post, atleast a deputy Prime Minister's post like the one Advaniji held.

That's it for this post which I wrote after reading an excellent book titled 'Devaru' by A N Murthy Rao where he reasons whether God exists. Despite being a believer there IS God, my views seemed to be more or less(around 90%, to put a numerical figure) in sync with that of the atheist author.

99th Post

2010-04-13T14:24:00.003+05:30

Much like the political party this blog has shamelessly supported(in vain) since inception, this blog too been in a state of paralysis since last June. Reasons for that aren't ideological or leadership related, but sheer laziness. While the political party lost 10% vote share, this blog lost little considering that it never had more than single digit readership.

Anyway, not much has changed in the life of this author since the time I last blogged. Many things, both on the personal as well as on the professional front promised to change in the dying months of 2009 as well as in the early days of 2010. But for one, the others remained just a promise though I am extremely happy for the one thing that I desperately wanted and that went green for me. Well, enough of abstract, abstruse personal musings.

Going forward, I will make an attempt to blog more frequently. The keyword there, though, is 'attempt'. Not that many would care whether I blog frequently. Again very much like the political party that is making an attempt to connect with the India of today. An irrelevant, supremely inappropriate analogy you might say.

Lok Paritran

2009-06-14T15:39:00.003+05:30

It has been 28 days since the 2009 general election results came out, still there is not even an iota of analysis in the media of Lok Paritran's poll debacle. That's because media does not have its ear to the ground fearing insects and other life forms that dwell normally on the ground. But such fears cannot evade us or rather Lok Paritran from facing facts.

When brand IIT has become such a hit in quite a few major Scandinavian countries, here's a political party of ex-IIT-ians which has failed to open its account in this vast, humongous, heterogenous, nation of ours. They failed to open their account even in IIT towns. Why? Is their a divide amongst IITians? Is there a disconnect between IIT and society despite the rhyme? Is their a seemingly disconnected disconnect between lawyers and engineers, between ration card holders and senior citizens, between myth and parable, between distorted utopia and unambiguous reality, between sex and metaphysics? "There is", says a senior Lok Paritran leader before adding, "a chintan baithak scheduled next month. We will discuss all these issues. We have already concluded what to conclude in that baithak".

There are other issues that face the party. Why such a name as Lok Paritran? Why not a more cool and contemporary name? Why have Sanskrit name? Why not an Anglo-Saxon name? Why did the innumerable 'love-speeches' made by their President fail to attract voters despised by 'hate-speeches'? What is life? Why didn't they go for alliances with comparably smaller parties like JD(S)? Is U R Ananthmurthy a genius? So many questions stare violently infront of Lok Paritran.

But it's not the end of the road for Lok Paritran says noted political analyst Arjun Sharma. 'Now they might not have won any seat. But they will surely come to power in 15 years', says Arjun displaying his knowledge of political history(BJP rose from 2 seats to ruling party in 15 years.). Even Lok Paritran leaders are optimistic. They have apparently charted out the slogan for the 2014 elections - 'Where there is hope there is despair'. When asked whether it was supposed to 'Where there is despair there is hope', party worker Subrmanya S Z said, 'There is absolutely no confusion. This is our slogan'.

In other news BJP President Rajnath Singh has expelled himself from the party for talking to the media to announce the party's new gag orders. "It was a Catch-22 like situation for me", said Mr. Singh showing surprising knowledge of Joseph Heller's work.

The Party Is Over

2009-05-18T22:19:00.003+05:30

A political party has unofficially died today marking the end of the longest surviving non-Congress party. This was no ordinary party. This was a party that shook the political certitudes of Indian politics like no one else had done before. This was a party that captured the public imagination and the ultimate power in fairly rapid and dramatic way. This was a party that gave India one of her best Prime Ministers. This was a party that dominated and dictated the agenda for five successive general elections.

A party that was once so full of ideas got bankrupt and corrupt by the stint in power. Bereft of new ideas, unable to cling on to old ones, the party developed severe identity crisis. The crisis needed application of thoughts by its once much envied leadership. But the leadership was tired and jaded. The leadership was at war with itself. The leadership tried to beat its opponents by becoming exactly like its opponent. The leadership was in denial about the disease that had afflicted the party. The party was at war with itself. It had become a weak, pity, pale shadow of its once glorious self.

Like the drowning man, it hoped someone else from outside would come and help. And this help it expected from its opponents. In the world of competitive politics, that was asking for a death blow. Blow it did receive but survived for a few hours raising hopes of the believers that atleast now an emergency surgery would be undertaken to cure the ill. But the party went back to denial and to old certitudes and to ideas that had gone past their sell by date. It died.

But political parties are in some ways immortal. They can come back from death and lead a rejuvenated life. Can this party do? Do they still have the resolve to do it? Will they carry out the onerous responsibility of ensuring a bipolar polity in India? Let's hope they regain their life for the sake of India.

Another pointless post - 88th post

2009-05-16T15:27:00.003+05:30

GuruWrites has come under intense ridicule and criticism by the single digit readership of the blog who say that GuruWrites gets active only for celebratory posts. Some critics also point out that the author of this blog could not could not come up with new posts due to ideological differences though the same critics have not been able to point out with whom these ideological differences have cropped up.

Sources close to GuruWrites have told that the blogger has now become uncomfortable with a Hindu-sounding name. 'The author of this blog has huge political ambitions. He doesn't want that to be harmed by writing in a blog that sounds too Hindu', says noted lawyer turned postman Krantikari. But this has also been denied by the very same sources.

Amidst all these rumour mongering and speculations, mainly by GuruWrites, the author of this esteemed blog has not been available for comment. Sources say the writer at GuruWrites is slightly disappointed that he has still not recieved JnaanaPeeTha or Kendra Sahitya Academy Award despite the prolific literary outpourings in his blog. But the author is planning to celebrate the 100th post soon in a grand way.

Guruwrites celebrates 3 years of relentless, clear, pointed, ahead, truth first, humour next blogging

2009-05-11T22:43:00.002+05:30

It's been possible mainly because of you, you and the person to your extreme right.

Guruwrites celebrates 86th post

2009-01-01T18:32:00.002+05:30

On this occasion of the 86th post from the Guruwrites Inc., the Gregorian calendar has moved on to 2009. 'It's incredible that the commencement of new year has coincided with the landmark 86th post from Guruwrites', said a beaming author of this blog. '86 is a significant number. Remember the 86th amendment. Remember 1986', said the author while commenting on the significance of 86th post. However, not many, including the author, understood what the previous statement meant.
In the aftermath of Mumbai terror attacks, the 86th post celebration has been low key. But that did not deter noted citizen journalist Rishikesh from speaking his mind to the media people. 'This is a historic moment in the history of the Indian Right', said Rishikesh while addressing a press conference. This has triggered a wave of speculation in the national and regional media about the political incilination of this blogger. 'Rishikesh is a respactable citizen journalist. If he thinks this is a historic day for the Indian Right, then this would mean the end of secularism in this country', moaned noted secularist Ms Seetalwad before emitting a shrill tone which shrill tone analysts believe was an unrelated call to defeat Narendra Modi in whichever election possible in whichever country.
When asked to comment on the controversy, the author of Guruwrites had only mathematical chutzpah to offer. '86 is 14 short of hundred. 8+6=14.', said the Guru. Since nothing much could be inferred from that, nothing much was inferred. Wish you all a happy new year.

A pointless post

2008-12-25T14:59:00.003+05:30

A few days back, much to my surprise, a couple of readers of this blog(whose readership hasn't made much headway since the days of single digit readership and has stayed in single digits despite such avant-garde, path-breaking, historical, thought provoking, laughter-riot-inducing, heart-wrenching writing), asked me why I am not updating my other blog. The one about music which I started in my typical I-know-about-everything style and stopped after 3 brief posts with one of them being an introduction. (Quite laughable indeed.) Despite being pretentious sometimes, I am also honest. So I said, 'En bareebeku gottaaglilla, adakke barililla' (For the English-knowing-Kannada-gottilla readership of this esteemed blog, here goes the translation. 'I didn't know what to write. So I didn't write').
Truer words have been spoken, but this too was quite true. I assumed myself to be connoisseur of music and started that blog. A connoisseur who took twenty four years of his life to discover Beatles and consequently realize their greatness. This was such a laughable discovery that I almost wanted to write a post, 'A random-passerby Harish declares that Beatles were great - a good 38 years after they shut down as a group'. This being the case, what shall I write in a music blog(although I read almost everything that's there in the wikipedia about Beatles)? Ok, to write about music, knowledge about Beatles isn't mandatory, especially for a person like me who really couldn't differentiate between jazz, rock and pop for a long time. Ok, what do I know about Indian music apart from my failed attempts to learn violin.
I started learning violin when I was a nine year old much like musicians of yore. Instantly made, Chowdiah as my inspiration - a person whose performance I had never heard. Took less than a couple of years to move on to varNaas before I discontinued. This I attributed to creative differences with the teacher. No, I actually I didn't like they way it was taught in Vijaya College Of Music and I didn't know where else to go to learn Violin. Then, 2 or 3 years later, I suddenly remembered my pledge to become Chowdiah whose violin rendition I had still not heard. Consequently I decided to resume learning violin. And where did I go? To the same teacher at the same school. It continued for less than a year or so and again creative differences arose and I left with my pledge not yet redeemed. Status - 2 or 3 varNaas. 2 or 3 years later, I had forgotten my pledge as also the fact that I had still not listened to Chowdiah. Being a man who can be very easily swayed sometimes by propaganda, I went back, at the start of my engineering, to my learn-violin adventure after I heard so many people say that, 'Harisha, jeevandalli hooby anta iTTkobeku. Adralloo sangeeta. Manassige santasa koDutte. Nee kacheri koDbekaagilla. Maneli nuDiskobahudu. Ningidu eega gottaagalla, munde gottaagutte'(Here goes the translation - 'Harisha, in life, you should have a hobby. That too music. It gives you happiness. You need not give concerts. You can play violin at home itself. You won't realise it now, you will realise later'). This time I found a pretty good teacher who taught really well and I made dramatic progress and in 2-3 years completed most of the syllabus for the junior exam. Lost interest suddenly. Left
learning. And became a software engineer.

Despite such a lengthy learning, I really didn't know much about Carnatic music that you could really write about in a serious blog on music which I wanted my other blog to be. And what about Indian film music? Well pretty much the same case when you consider that I came to know of one of India's best composers Ilayaraja only 3 or 4 years back. I should thank Arjun though for introducing me to Ilayaraja's music. (That Ilayaraja worked in G K Venkatesh's music troupe made me proud as a Kannadaiga). Instantly became so impressed by Raja sir's music that I wanted to download all the songs he has composed in all the languages and I did download few songs in Telugu and one in Malayalam apart from many in Kannada and Tamil(this despite me not understanding any of these languages apart from Kananda). What wonderful music!
And I proclaim that I am a big fan of A R Rehman's music, a fan who stumbled upon one of Rehman's best compositions - 1947 Earth - only earlier this year.
Even if we assume there's no need for any knowledge to write about music you should atleast know how to write about music. Whenever you ask me to write about a song I like, it shall usually contain two or three words/phrases like, 'melodious', 'superb orchestration', 'excellent background instruments'. If I am the most creative I might use mellifluous. In that way I might destroy songs by writing about it and making people go away from those songs. So I didn't write. Instead concentrated on writing extremely opinionated posts on significant political events apart from humour. Yes, I wrote this entire post to essentially say what the previous sentence said. Thank You.

Why don't we find columns like these in more mainstream newspapers?

2008-11-02T10:03:00.001+05:30

Read This.

Hindu

2008-10-28T09:28:00.008+05:30

Difficult times these are for our nation. Inflation, economic slowdown are facing us. The threat of terrorism is has engulfed the entire nation. As if these weren't enough, just based on the arrest of a Sadhvi, against whom no allegations have yet been proved in a court of law, Hindus are being branded as 'terrorists'. Hindus have been discriminated and humiliated in this country but nothing more damning and insinuating and unjust was said about the Hindus until now. If Hindus were terrorists, India wouldn't have been a multi-religious, secular nation.

Hinduism is probably the most liberal religion. Believers and unbelievers are accomodated even amongst Hindus. Budha revolted against certain aspects of Hinduism and formed his religion. Yet Hindus treat him as one of the ten avataras of Vishnu. Within Hinduism too there are so many diverse philosophies that preach everything from monism to dualism to even Charuvakas's epicurean atheism. And the beauty is that this dissent has been given due place in our epics too. Arjuna's initial rebuttal of whatever Lord Krishna said is very much part of Bhagavad Gita. Vaali's condemnation of Lord Rama for shooting him from behind is very much part of Ramayana. Charuvaka's materialistic way of life as opposed to the spiritualistic way of Vedanta, too is given a space without being dismissed as anti-Hindu. Without this tradition of tolerance ingrained in our every thought, this country wouldn't have had the capacity to embrace so many religions.

Such a glorious religion is today being defamed beyond the wildest of imaginations. This slander is based on things that aren't even proven. Words like 'Hindu Jihad' are unthinkable for any Hindu. Even if one or two individuals are found guilty, painting the entire community as terrorists is blasphemous. There is no mainstream Hindu organization that trains people to target people of other faiths. Such a thing is an anthema to Hindu thought. Hinduism is fundamentally too different to be compared with other religions which have waged wars to assert their supremacy. If this isn't realised by our 'secular' brethren, the future doesn't bode well. Hope this Deepawali brings light to our 'liberals'.

Happy Deepawali To You All.

PS: Here's an excellent article by Tarun Vijay. Please read it.

Financial crisis, Internet Crisis, Judgement Crisis

2008-10-23T21:58:00.005+05:30

How about internet crisis similar to the financial crisis? One man wakes up one fine day and downloads the internet. Virtually everything that's there on the world wide web from google to mindry.in. To store such huge amount of data, he would need all the servers on this planet that currently powers the internet. So with both content and the servers, practically he becomes the internet. Clever. Right?

How about judgement crisis? Suppose judges find that they have too much time and decide to give judgements to cases that are yet to be moved in the courts. Such prescience on the part of judges would mean that there would be no proceedings in courts. Even before a person moves a court, he would have the judgement. No lawyers, no judges and no law minister then.

That's it then for this seemingly lame post. Good bye.

War On Terror : UPA's take

2008-09-17T21:24:00.002+05:30

Congress Party has finally decided that it will fight terror. And the strategy it plans to adopt is very much in tune with its traditional thought processes. The Congress Party led Government is planning to appoint a Minister exclusively to fight terror retaining the supremely effective Home Minister Shivraj Patil.
It wouldn't be surprising if the Congress Party thinks that by this 'war strategy' terrorists would be on the back foot.
The next few days, would now be spent on naming the ministry. What could the names be? This naming is very tricky. The naming has to take into consideration all sections of society. It can't simply be Minister For Internal Security. Not even Anti-Terrorism Minister. The minority sentiments have to be kept in mind. So more likely name would be Minister Who Should Fight Terrorism And Hindu Communalism While Preserving The Secular Fabric Of The Nation And Keeping In Mind Minority Sentiments(MWSFTAHCWPTSFONKIMMS). This would be the longest named ministry in the world. Even the abbreviation is longer than names of some ministries. But that's a small sacrifice in keeping India's robust secular traditions alive.

Back to wish you all

2008-09-16T21:48:00.004+05:30

Guruwrites is back. Back to wish you all belated wishes. Exactly a month and one day ago, this nation turned 61. Belated wishes go out from GuruWrites to all believers of Indian tricolour. A day before that, our esteemed neighbour Pakistan celebrated its 61st independence day which went unnoticed in large parts of Azerbaijan.
On 15th, people belonging to a Brahminical clan, including me, managed to celebrate Upakarma despite the patriotic frenzy that engulfs the nation every year on that day. I wish all of them and myself belated Happy Upakarma. On August 22nd, people managed to celebrate nothing despite the temptation to do so.
Few days rolled before Hindus, from rabid right wingers to liberal lefties, celebrated Ganesha Chaturthi a day after Hindu women from all walks and stages of life celebrated Gowri Pooja with much gaeity and fanfare. This author deeply regrets the use of word gaeity in this otherwise sane post. Anyhow, I would now take this opportunity to wish Indians living in every nook and corner of the world particularly those Indians in Baku and even particularly those Indians who speak Baki, a belated Very Happy Gowri Ganesha Habba.
Yesterday, September 15th, was celebrated as the birthday Sir M Vishweshwariah(Sir M V). On this occasion, noted nanogenarian from Mysore, KrishRao pondered, "If Sir MV were to be alive today, he would have turned 148".
Amidst all these, rabid right wing lunatic, ace fake news reporter and founder member of cult comedy group mindry.in, Arjun Sharma came back to his homeland causing much consternation and dismay to a noted Kannada poet whom Arjun has a tendency to mock and ridicule for no apparent or genuine reason.
I will end this post here. I don't know what to say.

Shatrugna is brother of Rama of Ramayana fame

2008-06-02T12:27:00.002+05:30

Well, if the title of this post seemed to state the obvious for some of you, it doesn't for many people. These people don't know who was Shatrugna. We found this out not by conducting an opinion like Dr. Yogendra Yadav does. Neither did we ask the census people to find out whether people knew who Shatrugna was. That wouldn't have added much value to their census work anyway. What we did was pretty simple. We thought of interviewing Shatrugna. So we did this.

We thought that that interview was hilarious. The locale for the interview and the camera work was brilliant. If saying so is being immodest, so be it. But the interview, much like the interviewee, Shatrugna, received low popularity.(When I say low popularity, it's relative to the popularity of videos like this and surprisingly this.) The reason, we found out, was that many didn't know who Shatrugna was.

A software engineer from Shimoga, whose name translates to Lotus, said, "Yeah, I know Shatrugna. He comes in Ramayana or Mahabharatha. Right?". If that was shocking, another software engineer who has based his operations in Scotland asks, "Shatrugna was Rama's son. Wasn't he?". On the contrary, Sharat Kowligi of Mindry.in seems to know the assets of Shatrugna's son too.

Swaroop, who plays the judge remarkably well, in this hrasva swara competition, says many did not know that a character like Shatrugna ever existed in any of our epics."This is quite shocking. We should now make elaborate documentaries on the daily lives of Shatrugna, Nakula, Sahadeva and other low key men of our epics.", says a disappointed Arjun, a much acclaimed actor and a master cinematographer in the hit comedy group Mindry.in. Clearly, as Mr. Kadambi says here, people should stop spending time only on google searches and get to reading books, more importantly our epics Ramayana and Mahabharatha.

News Entertainment

2008-04-11T10:03:00.005+05:30

As MiddleclassBrahmin notes here, in the last few days we have seen some extraordinary news items. Some extraordinary in their triviality, others extraordinary in the potential they hold. Either way, news, as ever, never ceases to entertain.

Sometime last week the Supreme Court dismissed a petition challenging Amithabh Bachan's 'I am a poor farmer. So I was given agricultural land' claim. With this dismissal, implicit is the acceptance of Amithabh as an economically weak farmer. Wow! The angry young man of the 70s is now a judiciary approved poor farmer. This opens up a lot of possibilities. If Amithabh can claim he's a poor farmer, so can I. Atleast I can claim I am a poor software engineer. And here I am very much closer to reality. So if poor farmers like Amithabh(not those that commit suicides everyday being unable to repay loans) are given agricultural lands, poor software engineers should be given free computers including 19 inch LCD monitors(one such I bought last week for a princely sum of 9500 Indian Rupees), free internet connections, USB drives and such other paraphernalia required in the life of a software engineer.

Our Prime Minister, of the 'weakest Prime Minister ever' fame, has said that inflation is difficult to control because of rising prices. Now everyone of us(including me although I have read about discounted cash flow and PE ratio, courtesy wikipedia), even if we have not read anything about economy or finance, are able to recognize that rising prices cause the inflation to shoot up. In other words, price rise is a more layman term for inflation. So in this light, what the PM has said is similar to a cricket captain saying, "We are not playing well because we are playing badly". Dr. Singh, you surely have become a brainless Prime Minister apart from being a spineless one.

Yesterday, the Supreme Court upheld the validity of 27% reservations to OBCs. In doing so, they have also ruled that children of MPs and MLAs(both past and present MPs and MLAs) cannot claim reservation benefit. So once an OBC Indian is elected as an MP/MLA he/she becomes ineligible to leverage his/her caste credentials to educate his/her children. But atleast he/she can make money in obscenely large amounts that shall enable him/her to buy a seat for his/her children. But even this ray of hope shall disappear if the Government falls and the MP/MLA ceases to be an MP/MLA.(Of course this does not apply to Rajya Sabha MPs who have fixed tenure of 6 years.) So all MPs and MLAs, particularly those who are OBC Indians, shall strive to ensure that the Government lasts the full term of five years. This means no more unstable Governments. Something that shall be welcomed by all Indians, OBCs or otherwise. Kudos to the Supreme Court for this.

With major state elections round the corner, stay tuned for more entertainment. Till then though, from everyone here(mainly and only me) at GuruWrites, goodbye.

Government decides to dissolve salt

2008-03-15T07:37:00.004+05:30

The present Government being one that woks for the common man day in and day out has decided to dissolve large amounts of salt in huge buckets of fresh water. While announcing this decision at a press conference, Salt and Water Minister Mr. Soz said that this was also a tribute to Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi's salt satyagraha. We, being a channel which takes political news seriously, are bringing you this breaking news exclusively and comprehensively.

For more on this breaking story, we are now joined by our citizen journalist Rishikesh. Rishikesh, how would you view this decision of the Government?
"The Government has got its priorities wrong. While there are other vital issues like the state of Gilli daand sport, the Government has now got itself drowned in the collective euphoria of dissolving salt prior to elections. The Government shall not gain a single seat by this move."
"Do you think they could have dissolved something else that would have been more beneficial to the common man?"
"I think they should have dissolved small inconsequential nations"
"Do you mean they should have dissolved entire nations?"
"Yes, similar to the way in which parliaments are dissolved"

Now, to get the Congress' perspective, we shall talk to Congress spokesperson Jaipal Reddy, who lays great emphasis on pronouncing the 'R's in a word. Mr. Reddy, why dissolve salt? You could have done something more useful.
'The Congrrress Parrty led Govumment has decided to dissolve salt not because salt is soluble in water. But because this move will help common man by incrrreasing industrrrial production."
"How is that so, Mr. Jaipal Reddy?"
"When larrrge quantities of salt arrre dissolved, demand forrr prrroduction of salt incrrreases. This incrrreased prrroduction means morre job crrreation leading to morrre money in people's pockets."
That was Jaipal Reddy speaking to us about the Government's latest move to dissolve salt.

Noted secularist, lyricist and polemist Javed Akthar said that this move of the Government was rooted in 'secular ethos'. He however declined to elaborate. At the other end of the secular spectrum, the Bharateeya Janata Party has soundly criticized this move. When asked whether his party too would dissolve something, BJP spokesperson maintained a curious silence.

Union health minister Ambumani Ramadoss, though, was ebullient in his praise of the Prime Minister for initiating this move that he(Ramadoss) termed as "bold, daring and progressive". He also added that this move will lessen the salt consumption in the country thus reducing the incidence of salt related diseases. He has infact asked Union Entertainment Minister to direct the censor board to not allow the screening of movies where salt dissolution is not shown.

Where will this salt politics take the country to? Will India sign the nuclear deal with US? For answers to these questions and many more stay tuned to this channel as we go behind the scenes and bring you nothing but the truth. Truth, contrary to popular belief, is quite funny. Thank you.

State Of Chinni Daand( or Gilli Daand) And Its Impact On General Elections

2008-03-11T21:41:00.002+05:30

Chinni Daand. It’s an age old Indian game which involves a piece of wood with a pointed end and another stick which too is made of wood. The game involves hitting the wooden piece at its pointed end by the wooden stick. Thus hit the pointy edged piece of wood tosses up happily in the air. Before it again lands up on the ground, the player has to hit it again with the wooden stick. The longer the pointy piece of wood travels the greater is the player’s score. If it’s caught by the opponent/s, then the player who hit it is out. With this bit of information, it doesn’t require a genius to observe that this game was surely a precursor to later day cricket. While cricket seems to grab everyone’s attention in India, its ancestor, Chinni Daand also called Gilli Daand, has no takers. Hailed by social scientists as a poor man’s game, Gilli Daand requires little or no infrastructure except for modest if not abundant supply of pointed wooden pieces and wooden sticks. Despite this there is apathy, bias and neglect that haunt this simple game. We being a channel that take our sport seriously bring you this exclusive report about the state of Gilli Daand and it’s impact on national politics.

Gilli Daand, unlike cricket, has suffered from apathy and neglect not just from administrators but also from aam aadmi You won't see school kids playing chinni daand on the street unlike cricket. 'Gilli daand is a sticky game. Streets are not safe in our country today because of the threat of communal riots. Under such a scenario gillidaand with small pieces of timber don't give a sense of protection to the players unlike cricket which armours them with heavy wooden bats that you can swing around at the opponent(rioter)', says noted cricket historian Dr. Guha when asked why there is no street gillidaand. Five year old kid from Dharwad, Master Halebandi, wants to play professional ChinniDaand. 'Amma, amma naanu doDDon aadmyaala gilli daand aaDlakhattateeni'(Amma, amma I will play Gilli Daand after I grow up) says Halebandi in a determined tone. Ironically, there is not even an under 5 tournament to nurture kids like Halebandi. Infact the need of the hour is to have tournaments for every age group starting from 5 to 55. This view was also echoed by veteran octogenarian .KrishRao while reminiscing about the Gilli Daand accomplishments during his heyday.

Sports finance expert Dr. Kapadia believe that how much ever a poor man's game this game may be, it still needs players to either buy required wooden stick and pointy-piece-of-wood or buy wood to make these at home. This requires money. "Therefore", Dr. Kapadia argues, "Government should identify potential Gilli Daand players and waive off all their loans. If they haven't taken one, they should be given one. I think banks should be directed to disburse 15% of loans to Gilli Daand players and after giving such a loan to promising Gilli Daand players it (the loan) should be immediately waived off".

So what does the calls for Government intervention mean in terms of this issue becoming an electoral issue? "The people are fed up with the previous Government not the current one. They are fed up of the communal sectarian divisive agenda of the previous Government. So instead of the current Government, this time, the previous Government will face anti-incumbency. Thus the Congress and its allies will return to power bagging almost all the seats in the Lok Sabha. Infact the Congress alone may win anywhere between 270 to 470 seats out of the total 540 odd seats", argues electoral scientist Dr. Yadav before going on to add, "Thus Gilli Daand will not be an electoral issue". But citizen journalist Rishikesh thinks otherwise. He thinks and thinks quite staunchly that Gilli Daand issue and Gilli Daand issue alone will be an electoral issue. "Given the poor state of hockey in our country, I think improving the state of Gilli Daand in the country will naturally be a top priority. Naturally voters will vote only for that party which has a pro-Gilli-Daand agenda" explains Rishikesh.

Only time will tell whether Gilli Daand will be an electoral issue or not and whether Gilli Daand or Chinni Daand will move to its rightful place under the sun (Pun intended. Pun explanation follows: Since Gilli Daand is normally played outdoors, i.e., under the sun, it can move to its rightful place under the sun when more people play it and thereby the game getting what it deserves.). That's it then for this edition of news. It was a pleasure bringing this very special and exclusive edition of news to you the reader. I am sure you have thoroughly enjoyed every line of this edition. Good night.

Naavu Bharatheeyaru

2008-02-17T12:11:00.003+05:30

'Maharashtra for Marathis', 'Tamil Nadu for Tamilians', 'Karnataka for Kannadigas', 'Bihar for Biharis' are slogans of dangerous ideologies that are antithetical to the overarching idea of India. If the people are restricted to live and die in their native states and are targeted in other states, India will cease to be a nation but a set of warring states. So parochial, divisive ideologies should be dealt with strongly. Having said that, the feeling of insecurity among the localites has to be treated in a very responsible manner.

Bangalore is one of the cities where there is a growing perception of insecurity among local people. There is a feeling among the native people that they are becoming strangers in their own land. They feel they are losing their job to 'outsiders'. Though this sense of insecurity is not entirely unfounded, the solution lies not in packing the 'outsiders' off, but in accommodating everyone to benefit from the system.

The solutions are not hard to find. First thing is proper planning. If only our planners had taken care to ensure that growth was spread not just inside Bangalore but also cities around it, the outsider problem would have been less conspicuous. The number of people who have come from other states would have been distributed across a larger area had the growth too been distributed.

Secondly, the opportunities for growth too need to be increased. IT alone should not be seen as an engine of growth. Mysore, for instance, can create so many opportunities through it's sheer tourist attractions. In any other nation, Mysore would have been a thriving, prosperous city with it's places of tourist interest.

Thirdly, and most importantly, the language and culture of each state needs to be respected, nurtured and strengthened both by the state and central governments. Blatant discrimination by Governments, as done by the present UPA regime in giving classical language status to Tamil and not to Kannada though both qualified for it, can only add unnecessarily to the discontent.

In a nation there will be places of high prosperity and also places that are not so. There will naturally be a migration of people to those areas where they feel they can lead a good life. None can deny them that right within a nation. But then they too should learn to be understanding about the native language and culture. Stubborn refusal to learn even basic communication in the native language is very annoying. Atleast an honest attempt should be made.

Given that migration between states can only increase, our education system too needs to be finetuned taking this aspect in mind. Although there is considerable awareness of other cultures through TV and internet there has to be cultural education too in schools where people learn about other states. This can be achieved through meaningful educational trips and interesting books. Above all, we need a strong sense of nationalism to be imbibed into every aspect of our national life, be it education, politics or anything for that matter.At the end of the we are the citizens of one nation and we need to remain so. ''Nation", as Dr. Kalam once said, "ïs bigger than the individual".

My attempt at very very short story writing

2008-01-29T13:55:00.000+05:30

The movie playing, inside the city's largest theater, was nearing climax. The protagonist and the villain were engaged in confrontation. People were cheering the protagonist. Suddenly a loud sound of explosion came from the front. The cinema stopped. Momentary silence descended on the cinema hall. Then came the cries and yells from the crowd. Panic engulfed everywhere. Bodies of the dead seemed like islands amidst the blood strewn all around. Ram, a doctor, felt that he would be of help to the injured. He asked his wife to go back home. She, though not in a mood to leave him behind, respected Ram's decision and decided to leave. There was commotion near the exit. There were people shouting at each other. It was a mad scramble to save one's own life. Amidst the chaos, tragedy struck again. Another explosion near the exit. More blood, more bodies and more mayhem. Anxious about his beloved, Ram, caught in the midst of bruised and critically ill, could not help but rush to the door . To his unimaginable horror, he realised that terror had ended his thirty day old marriage life. The magnitude of the cataclysm was so huge that it transcended every form of expression of pain. Movies end. But here, not just the movie, the life of his love too came to an end.
Dreams of a beautiful life to be lived were shattered by those who had death in their minds.

It was post-terror-attack-morning, as usual, the next day. Newspapers, politicians, 'intellectuals' condemned the attacks as ever. They, as is the tradition, asked everyone to maintain communal harmony. Police was under pressure to nab the terrorists. Next day they released computer generated images of the suspected terrorists Nadim and Salim. The faces were shockingly familiar to Suhas, Ram's friend. Feigning themselves as engineering students, they had deceived Suhas to rent his house to them. He immediately called Ram and told him about this. Off they rushed to the police station. Suhas told whatever he knew about them to the police.

A fortnight passed. The two terrorists were caught. Sufficient evidence surfaced against the suspects. Their links with terror organizations, their radical leanings, and their elaborate plan of attack were thoroughly brought out through investigation by the police.

The pace with which the police moved in this case rattled the media. 'Police torturing innocent students' screamed the newspapers and television news channels. There were protest rallies led by human rights activist Ms. Ratnakar. Though sparsely attended, these rallies were described by the media as huge. 'Is our police justified in harassing minorities under the pretense of fighting terror?' asked Mr. Desai, a leading television news anchor, in a tone so shrill that it would have put off the bats in the vicinity that night. Watching this, an otherwise calm person, Ram burst out angrily. In his rage he smashed his television. Suhas, who was then beside Ram, was moved by this magnitude of helplessness of a terror victim. Suhas' eyes went moist, but the moisture glistened in the ray of determination that became visible in his eyes. He made up his mind to organise people and stage a counter protest rally. People came in large numbers. Media condemned it as interference in the 'due course of law'.

But the wheels of justice moved forward unperturbed. The case moved to the courts. The prosecution argued their case diligently. Soon the judgment day arrived. "The two men, Nadim and Salim have been found guilty....This court sentences them to death", came the pronouncement of the judge. Joy that justice had been done, intensely macabre memories of that fateful day and the resulting anger against the murderers filled Ram's mind. Little did he know that the battle was far from over.

The case moved on to the higher court. Verdict remained the same there too. Finally to the supreme court, where too the death sentence was upheld.

'Justice has been unfair', came the media's foul cry. 'Mercy by the President is the only way to soothe assuaged feelings', wrote Ms. Ratnakar in a leading daily. She again hit the road. Violence was manufactured to show, 'the sense of hurt, that was inflicted in the name of religion'. Trivial electoral considerations forced the Government to falter. The convicted terrorists were pardoned.

'Nadim and Salim vindicated', screamed the news channels. Ram, watching this, boiled with anger. The other day there was no expression that could express his pain, today there was no expression that could express his rage, his disgust, his helplessness, his sense of having been denied justice. Memories of his wife swelled up in his mind. He could not save her then from the jaws of death. Now he was unable to see justice done to those who took her life. In his pathos, unable to compose himself, he ended his life.

Few months passed. Another terror strike. This time its prey was the country's home minister. The investigation was high-profile. 'Police arrest Nadim and Salim - main accused in Home Minister's assassination' - read the headlines few days later.

[Due thanks to Guru Anandh for helping me edit this 'story'.]

Weakest Prime Minister Is Leader Of The Year

2008-01-18T09:49:00.000+05:30

Awards are subjective. But the choice of the jury has to be reasonable. It need not be the perfect choice because there can be no such thing as the perfect choice. But when the award is bestowed on a person who in no way deserves it, the award and the award-presenters become nothing more than a bad joke. Such was the fate of the NDTV Leader of the Year award and NDTV when they said Manmohan Singh was their choice for the Leader Of the Year.

Since the time our weakest Prime Minister Dr. Singh took over, he has hardly come to be seen as a leader not just by the people but even by his own partymen and allies. Time and again they have undermined him and his office. A very senior Congress leader Natwar Singh openly mocked at how Dr. Singh has set a world record by being the only PM who has not been elected. Remember, Dr. Singh has never won a Lok Sabha election. How many times Arjun Singh - the 'secular', 'progressive' education minister - has eroded Prime Minster's authority is best left uncounted. At the very beginning of this farcical coalition in power, there was public humiliation of Dr. Singh by Karunanidhi when he used his numerical strength in the Government to overturn the decision of the cabinet regarding disinvestment of Neyveli Lignite Corporation. Dr. Singh blindly accepted it as 'coalition dharma' without a word of protest. In 2007 alone, when he secretly tried to seal a deal with US, the Left threatened to pull down his Government. Singh considered this deal as a very personal 'achievement'. He and his party said that those who oppose the deal are 'anti-development'. He even dared the left to pull down the Government. But later, he was snubbed by his own partymen and allies on this issue when the Left became serious about withdrawing support. Left had its way. Though the PM's credibility was severely dented, he shamelessly carried on.

Rahul Gandhi ordered him to extend the rural employment guarantee scheme to all districts. It was the Prime Minister's office which had earlier decided against this move since there were problems in its implementation. But when Rahul says our PM has to agree. The PM meekly bowed to Rahul's orders. How subservient a Prime Minister he is to the Gandhis is very evident by the way our weak Prime Minster walks, sits, talks and conducts himself when he is beside Sonia Gandhi. It's a disgrace to even talk about.

When such a person is honoured as the Leader Of the Year, one can only laugh at the awardee, awarder and those who glorify such awards. It's just another credibility blow to channels like NDTV who are yet to recover from the shock of Gujarat. By the way, there was one more leader in 2007 who won an election based on his strong leadership, his Government's performance, his integrity. And that too a re-election. He too was, and is, an Indian. He lives somewhere in Ahmedabad.

Cricket 2008

2008-01-07T11:33:00.000+05:30

Well, cricket has truly turned a new corner this new year. Gone are the days when players were at the mercy of players. Even now they are, but atleast players of one team - team Australia, are not. Infact they are not at anyone's mercy, not even the match referee or the ICC.

This's a small but significant development. Australian players are so powerful that they just need to lodge a complaint against an opposition player they are not comfortable playing against. The complaint can be anything. Let me illustrate a possible complaint. 'Player A of a non-Australian team f***** up his(A's) wife'. The ICC will soon call an emergency meeting of the Protection-From-Sexual-Abuse-And-Prevention-Of-AIDS-In-Cricket committee. Andrew Symonds, the complainant, shall offer to be the voyeuristic witness. Voyeurism pales into insignificance in front of the game. 'Game is bigger than voyeurism', said the great Australian cricketer-turned-philosopher David Ross. As a celebration of this noble thought Australian media shall hail Andrew Symonds as 'the unassuming, selfless, daring hero who uncharted delicate and private territories to save the game from going down a lusty perverted intellectual drain'. Whatever that means! And the ICC will ban the cricketer A from the game and also sperate the couple if possible.

In this way they can 'remove' key opposition players. Others can be eliminated in a simpler way with the help of umpires-who-save-the-game-by-submitting themselves-to-Australian-divinity. These umpires apply the simple thumb rule, 'There is no bowler in the world who can dismiss an Aussie batsman before he scores a 100. There is no non-Aussie batsman who can score half century'.

By committing themselves to these noble game-saving measures, Australia can proudly say, 'We play the game in the right spirit'.

Hindutva and radical Islam: Where the twain do meet

2007-12-28T09:37:00.000+05:30

When you come across an article which says everything you all along wanted to say, which articulates superbly what you yourself had strongly felt, which tries to tell something that's almost a taboo to say in our media, it makes it a delightful experience to read. Dear reader, please read this column by Arun Shourie in Indian Express.