GuruMates

Hiatus

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 01:11:00 +0000

Temporarily on Hiatus

Persephone Learns to Juggle

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Mon, 11 Jun 2012 02:29:00 +0000

To say it's been an eventful week / weekend might be the understatement of the century.

My week went off the rails schedule and diet wise between coming down with food posioning and canceling the gym and bowling.

However, from a personal standpoint, my week incorporated new people in a bigger way than I've been accustomed to in a long while.

The weekend also took a few pleasantly unexpected turns.

I think I am ok with the variance in the diet and strict as hell schedule keeping, considering I actually accomplished all of my major goals this week.

I carved out time to complete a paper (my final) for a class and passed it with the best possible score on the first try.

I honored a commitment to a dear friend by facing my fear of mailing things to mail her a book ON the day I said I'd mail it. (This is big, it's a randomly strong phobia.)

I let a very new person into my personal space and didn't become a shaking mess. (HUGE)

I did grown up and responsible medical things. (OK, I do that a lot, but I was nervous about this.)

I got to catch up and go shopping with another friend and we both needed the hang out time.

I even managed to get 5 games of focused bowling practice in. They were frustrating games, but I had time with my coach and worked on new angles, so it was a good frustrating in a way.

The only thing I didn't get done was grocery shopping, but I'll just add that to tomorrow and should be fine.

The point is - I'm getting better at this whole gray area thing.

Baby Steps for the Baby Mama

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 03:30:00 +0000

Last post I talked about dietary requirements for pregnancy. It was rather prophetic, as I had my appointment on Monday. I've gained too much weight. My sciatic nerve is being pinched, which causes numbness and shooting pain all down my leg. On the bright side, we heard Zoid's heartbeat and it's 150bpm, right smack dab in the middle of the range.

My husband suggested we walk together in the evenings. Last night was evening number one, and it went rather well. His pace is naturally faster than mine since he's quite a bit taller. It was a great pace for me.

I use the Babycenter website for all kinds of baby-related information. Here is their article on walking for exercise during pregnancy.

Also, tomorrow I'm going to start keeping a food diary in the hopes that I'll be able to figure out where I'm going wrong with my diet.

Friday I go to a physical therapist for my sciatic nerve issue.

I sure hope the nesting instinct kicks in soon. My house is a wreck.

Persephone needs a Mirror

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 02:06:00 +0000

Not the normal reflective kind of mirror...the soul kind.

Asking myself some big questions today, not sure I'm liking the answers. What I do know is that I'm being forced into a situation that is growing untenable for me. How much is it worth it to me to maintain the status quo?

I hate when my loyalties are divided and I hate feeling powerless.

Vague post is vague.

Persephone Battles Anxiety

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 01:51:00 +0000

Anxiety.

The word looks so benign sitting there on the page. It's small, almost even cute.

There is nothing cute about anxiety.

In a way, I almost envy people who have full blown panic attacks. I mean, not really, because those suck beyond measure, but at least in the middle of a panic attack, you KNOW what you're fighting.

My anxiety is a sneaky little bastard.

Today is a really big day for me, for reasons I can't actually talk about just yet. Months of preparation have gone into today, and until earlier this week, I was totally sure I was 100% on top of it.

Until I wasn't.

Over the past few days, what started as little nibbles of doubt and fear in the back of my brain grew.

And grew.

Today anxiety launched a full scale battle on my system. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Today anxiety won.

Tomorrow, I will.

Abby is flummoxed by food.

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Thu, 31 May 2012 03:00:00 +0000

Everyone has advice for pregnant women. Some of it makes sense, some of it is just silly, and people love to share it all. I've learned the polite thing to do is nod, say thank you, and then do what you find is best.

I'm reading pregnancy books, looking at pregnancy websites, and have (of course) consulted by doctor about all sorts of things. One thing that has me perplexed is the Pregnancy Diet (cue appropriate lightning and thunder crashing of doom).

Two things you need to know about my situation before I go further.

1. I greatly dislike cooking. I consider it a waste of time which could be spent doing more productive things. It's an especially good argument considering all the prepared food options out there. Why take time to cook when I could just grab food and go?

2. My husband loves to cook. He is not home until the end of July.

So, here I am trying to figure out what I can eat that is both quick and healthy. I don't like looking for recipes or taking the time out to count my calories. Much like cooking itself, those things are time wasters.

My doctor said 2000 calories a day, half from protein, the rest from veggies and complex carbs. Stay away from empty calories. No lunchmeat (listeria), no sushi (food poisoning), no alcohol, no smoking, no unpasteurized cheese (don't remember why), no bean sprouts (listeria again), no certain kinds of fish (mercury), and limit caffeine. Don't forget my prenatal vitamins.

What to Expect When You're Expecting is a bit more specific about the food part. That book recommends the following daily intake:

Four servings protein

Two servings vitamin C

Four servings calcium

Three servings green leafy and yellow veggies and fruits

Two servings other fruits and veggies

Six to eleven servings whole grains and legumes

Some iron rich foods

Four servings high fat foods

Moderation with the salt

Eight 8-ounce glasses of fluids

Prenatal vitamins

I thought that it'd be easy to make up a menu plan for one day and then just repeat it over and over, but apparently variety is essential to awesomeness.

There are also a million websites about what to eat while expecting.

So, anyone have any simple healthy recipes that I can try? If it takes more than 30 minutes to make I won't.

I think I'm going grocery shopping on Friday.

P.S. The garden is a bust this year. With the pregnancy and my husband's treatment, we just didn't get the tilling and planting done. This Fall we'll prepare the soil for next spring.

Seph's Lost Week

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Mon, 21 May 2012 02:45:00 +0000

I've been too sick to post. I've been basically useless all week. Numbers? Forget the numbers.

House? Too sick to clean.
Work? Lost time.

Grr. Arrg.

Back on Friday, with any luck.

Pregnancy Sucks

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Thu, 17 May 2012 05:52:00 +0000

Today I asked my husband for blog ideas, and he had a really good one about how I'm actually shopping for my own food and *gasp* cooking it. However, it's now after 1 AM. I'm awake because I have heartburn so bad I can't lie down. I have heartburn because I'm pregnant.

Things I dislike about pregnancy.

1. Pregnancy brain. According to What to Expect when You're Expecting, pregnancy brain is caused by the same thing every other pregnancy doom is caused by; metric crap tons of hormones. For most women, it's a temporary case of ADHD. For me it's epic derp. I cannot believe some of the nonsense that spews from my mouth. speaking of which...

2. Whoever named it "morning sickness" should be shot. For me, it was a constant case of motion sickness that never went away for 3 months. Now it likes to surprise me from time to time, like the ex-roommate you didn't get along with who still occasionally calls to ask if you want to go to Mass with her and her mother.

3. Gas. I burp, I fart, I work with the public. This is not a good combination.

4. I can smell EVERYTHING. I work with the public. Also, not a good combination. In these cases, epic farts come in handy. They'll clear my work area pretty quickly.

5. I am so very very itchy on my tummy.

6. My tits hurt. I'm slowly making my way through the cup size alphabet. This not only means I had to buy new bras (which are not at all cheap in my size) but also that I have all the knots in my back. Also, hugging hurts. Epic sadface.

7. People keep treating me like I'm going to fall apart at the seams. "No, I'll pick that up for you, you're delicate, you know. Like an egg." Yeah, like a kung fu egg that will punch you in your neck!

8. Other people blaming my words, thoughts, and feelings on being pregnant. No, it's not my pregnancy talking. My pregnancy does all sorts of things, but I do the speaking around here. The only difference is I took off my filter because I don't give a fuck. Not giving a fuck is because of the pregnancy. My attitude is simply unfiltered me. STFU.

9. The weird numbness in my left thigh. I know it's Zoidburg's fault, I'm just not sure why. Yet.

10. I pee all the time. Discharge. Constipation. Nuff said.

11. I am so tired but I can't sleep

12. I cry at everything. I hate crying.

13. I'm only going to get bigger.

I asked my sister if there's any fun stuff about being pregnant. She has two little boys. With a perfectly straight face she said, "Your baby will be adorable."

Be forewarned, ladies. Being pregnant is horrible!

With all this complaining I'm doing, I have to ask myself if I'd rather not be pregnant. The answer, amazingly enough, is no. I'm glad I'm pregnant. Fucking hormones.

Abby makes progress!

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Mon, 14 May 2012 15:01:00 +0000

My friend came over yesterday at 9am bearing a chai latte and way too much energy. 3 hours later, we had a giant bag of garbage, a box ready for donation to Goodwill, 6 empty boxes, 3 totes full of yarn (and there's more yarn, oh yes there is) and a bunch of stuff put away where it actually belongs!

Proof of progress:

Empty boxes!

I has a floor!

The craft room needs a better name. Any suggestions?

Persephone Thinks Some Birthday Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Sat, 12 May 2012 01:15:00 +0000

Tomorrow I turn 33. For some reason this is bugging me more than turning 30 did.

As I got dressed for work this morning (Friday is casual day) I put on a t-shirt, jeans, high top chuck taylors, and a hoodie.

I can't decide if that's a sign that I refuse to grow up or if it's a dead giveway that I'm actually old.

Even though I kind of have the birthday blues this year, my co-workers totally rock and made me feel super special today.

I'm planning to do most of the celebrating Memorial Day weekend, because I have a very awesome friend flying into town and we have some cool things planned for that visit.

Tomorrow is basically a normal day for me, though I do have dinner plans for sushi.

I haven't been so great about getting up on time this week, so this leaves me with a question.

Tomorrow - when my alarm goes off at 7am - will I "reward" myself with the false reward of sleeping in? Or, will I actually reward myself by getting up on time and staying committed?

I guess we'll know tomorrow.

-Seph

Abby Opens Doors

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Fri, 11 May 2012 03:53:00 +0000

While my husband is gone, I'm going to be purging, sorting, and organizing our home. I'm preparing for the baby, but I also want to give him a healthy home environment. It'll help the both of us keep our sanity, serenity, and happiness. Unfortunately, I can't do this by myself. Being unmedicated and pregnant isn't conducive to cleaning or organizing.

This is terribly embarrassing

So, one of my OCD librarian friends is coming on Sunday morning to terrorize my craft room. As a step towards healing and to track progress,

I'm going to take pictures of the process to share them with you all.

Much of this is yarn

I get overwhelmed just looking at pictures of it. Most people don't ever see past the closed door, for obvious reasons.

I have a confession to make. I haven't been able to get too excited about being pregnant. I'm happy about it, definitely, but not giddy or bubbly or going crazy over baby things. I have a tiny fearful voice in the darkest part of my mind that tells me everything good in my life will go wrong. Now, it isn't some big debilitating belief that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It doesn't keep me from enjoying life or being a generally optimistic person. Unfortunately, that little voice has been piping up every time I get excited about being pregnant. I'm just superstitious enough to not type what it says. Now that I'm past my first trimester, my risks have greatly decreased, but there are still so many things that could go wrong. I have to comfort myself in knowing that I will do the best possible things for my baby, and that's all I can do.

Seph - what a week

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Mon, 07 May 2012 01:00:00 +0000

So this week I stepped up the physical activity by a bajillion.

Tues/Thurs I worked out with my new personal trainer.

Wednesday I bowled six games (after having been out for about 6 months).

Saturday was my most intense tennis class yet.

You know you've hit a new level when steering the car hurts.

Still? I absolutely loved it all.

I've always wanted to be the work hard / play hard type of person. Working hard has always been in my wheelhouse, but the playing hard I haven't always made a priority.

Also, despite the med mishap Thursday night, I call this week a raging success.

I passed my final, turned in my writing assignment, kept my house clean, tackled the laundry and bathed in obscene amounts of Tiger Balm.

I even learned a lot from my unmedicated day.

Now I have to get set up for another week.

-Seph

Abby

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Sun, 06 May 2012 03:00:00 +0000

I watched the Avengers movie in IMAX 3D. It was amazazing. Best superhero movie ever. Joss Whedon is my hero.

Husband would have loved to see it. Friends all have people to go home to. I have 2 cats who mewl at my bedroom door and want to cuddle. I can't let them in because I can't take my allergy medicine while pregnant.

I have a sad.

Nothing to see here, no self improvement today. Move along.

New posting schedule + Persephone is an idiot

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Fri, 04 May 2012 09:21:00 +0000

PSA: Abby will now be posting Weds / Sat and Seph will post Fri / Sun.

So - it's 5:15am in the morning, but it's technically Friday which makes it my posting day.

I have been awake all night. I gave up trying to sleep at about 3:45am, and actually got up and got dressed about 4:30am and now I am posting / studying since I have an assignment due to Long Ridge tomorrow (that I haven't started writing), and a final for WGU on Sunday. (I'm slightly more prepared for that one.)

I originally thought maybe I couldn't sleep because I was wired from working out and then having company over, but then something told me to check my pill case.

Yeah.

I forgot to take my meds last night.

I have like all kinds of alarms and things to prevent this from happening, and it IS very rare.

What sucks is that I really thought my sleep progress was actually my own natural learning / doing - not because my medication is sedating.

Now I am awake and annoyed and kind of hungry, and I still have to go to work in 3 hours to put in a full day.

Ugh.

-Seph

Abby flies solo

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Thu, 03 May 2012 03:39:00 +0000

My husband is gone for a while. So, it's just me and the cats and the horribly messy unorganized borderline hoarder house. I don't qualify as a hoarder because I don't collect things, I merely have them (in boxes). Also, my house isn't so crowded that the only way to reach the rooms is by path. Enough with the excuses already, amirite?

It's surprisingly peaceful on my own, but lonely. The cats are good for snuggling. Not so much for conversation.

I had another epiphany over the weekend. I realized that it's rather hypocritical of me to be frustrated at my husband for not using the help available to him when I'm doing precisely the same thing. I'm going to accept help. Tomorrow ;)

Persephone Posts From A Clean and Organized Home

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 21:06:00 +0000

I think it's kind of funny that Abby and I both have cleaning / organizing on the brain this weekend.

The slight difference being that I am not too proud to beg for and/or buy help when I get completely overwhelmed.

I have some major schedule changes that take effect tomorrow morning - schedule changes where living in the chaos that was my apartment would become untenable.

My apartment was, to say the least, overwhelming.

I hired a good friend of mine to tackle the living room, kitchen, and office.

I took care of the bathroom and assisted with the above - which took from 1pm yesterday until nearly 9pm last night.

This still left two major things for today - the laundry (aka Mt. Washmore) and cleaning the master bedroom. Left alone this could have taken me the entire day - it usually does.

However, another good friend met me this morning - we went grocery shopping (random, I know) and then she tackled the laundry issue with a vengeance.

By 3pm it was pretty much all washed/dried/put away, and the master bedroom is clean w/ fresh new sheets on the bed.

In the middle of that I managed to make us lunch and get stuff in the Crockpot for dinner which smells heavenly right now.

The last thing I have to do to get prepared for "the great May experiment" is to get all of my schedules written for the week and assemble my binder.

Then I need to follow my night routine and set myself up for success in the morning.

Wish me luck?

-Seph

IKEA is bad for Pregnant Abby's brain

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 03:00:00 +0000

I begin by saying that I have never liked IKEA. If you haven't heard of IKEA, Google it. Also, what planet do you live on exactly?

I've never known precisely why I have such aversion to the store. Much of what they sell is cheaply made, but there are a few pieces that are quite well done. They have products that are pretty ingenious, and everything I've seen is reasonably priced. It's certainly more stylish than Wal-mart.

Today I finally figured it out. It's too damn organized, and that makes me jealous and frustrated and angry with myself.

I look at the perfectly coordinated living room setups, the clever and highly functional organizational storage and think, "why the hell can't I do that?"

I don't know. I have read books on organizing spaces. I've looked at tons of examples. I've tried my entire life (that I can remember) trying to figure out how to keep track of my stuff and keep it clean and not have it end up all over the place. There's just a big gaping hole in my brain where step 2 should live.

step 1. Buy organizing things.

step 2. Uhhhhhh.

step 3. Organized!

IKEA makes it look so damn easy, and it pisses me off. Of course, I also found useful shiny awesome things to purchase. "Here, IKEA, you who makes me feel inadequate and horrible, please, take my money as well. Thank you, may I have another?"

Friends have offered to help me organize. I thank each one sincerely, but never take them up on it. Why? I'm not sure, but I think it's a combination of things.

1. My house is a horribly embarrassing mess.

2. I feel I ought to be able to do it.

3. I don't want to end up on Hoarders...and I can't if no one nominates me. They won't nominate me if they don't know. See item 1.

4. Guilt. Guilty guilt ridden guilt with shredded guilt on top.

What do I do?

Persephone Walks Through the Wardrobe

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 02:31:00 +0000

This pretty much sums up my day / mood prior to 6pm:

My night was salvaged by good friends and a much needed phone call.

Still, part of me just wishes I could exit the back of my closest into a far away land where I find out I'm royalty and also somehow manage to banish winter.

*grumble*

Abby - WTF

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 01:59:00 +0000

Last week was hell. Mostly.
Monday - Husband in the hospital.
Tuesday - House robbed in the middle of the day. SRSLY?! Friend goes to the emergency room that night. I pick up their daughter and watch her while friend and husband are in the hospital.
Wednesday - Finally find the cats. They are terrified. Talk to insurance. Discover they are called claim adjusters because they take your claim and adjust it to what they prefer.
Thursday - Husband comes home. Collects serial numbers and pictures and calls detective and insurance.
Friday - Bright spot: saw the Naptown Rollergirls in action. Of course they won.
Saturday - Fancy literacy fundraising dinner with the PILs and friends.

So, it ended well anyway. The only thing that has kept me going throughout last week was one slogan from Al Anon: Do the next right thing. Sometimes that thing was calling the police, others it was not telling my husband we'd been robbed until after he was past the worst parts. On Tuesday night it was spending time with my 10 year old friend watching The Princess Bride and drinking tea while we waited for her parents to get home from the hospital.
She said, "I'm scared, Aunt Abby."
I said, "Me too."
"Whatever. Nothing scares you, Auntie."
I just about cried. I told her, "Sure it does. It's what you do when you're scared that makes all the difference. And what we do right now is send up a prayer for your mom, go home, and watch The Princess Bride."
Her mom has completely recovered.

Random thoughts about the Flylady website. First of all, the site was definitely designed for people with time on their hands. The layout isn't user-friendly at all. I had to turn off email notifications because I was getting nearly 20 emails per day with all kinds of advice for which I wasn't ready and didn't have time to read. I find her writing style to be patronizing and annoying. I don't like being referred to as a Precious FlyBaby.
On the other hand, the advice itself has been great. I feel more productive in makeup, I try to shine my sink every day. I won't be doing Day 3 because that's reading through the convoluted maze that is the Flylady site. I stopped doing the BabySteps last week for obvious reasons, so now I'm on Day 4. This day involves sticky notes (I dislike them) so Day 5 is to counter my negative self-defeating thoughts with happy shiny self-love. Luckily I don't have any negative thoughts because I'm a freaking rock star. On to Day 6! I have to put out a Hot Spot.

A Hot Spot is an area in a room that, if left unattended, will take over and grow into a cluttery monster of epic proportions. One of the hot spots in our house is the living room coffee table. I think I've found another gem. I'm going to go clean it now. I hope the monster doesn't try to eat my fingers.

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do - Seph Attempts to Kick Caffeine

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 02:03:00 +0000

Well, hi.

This will be short due to the OMG MAKE IT GO AWAY headache I have.

If anyone tries to convince you that caffeine is NOT a drug, they are wrong.

I kicked caffeine once before, in 2001, and it took strep throat plus five days in bed. I was off the stuff for over 2 years, but it only took one iced coffee to bring about the last decade of addiction.

Even though I quit soda in January, I was still drinking black tea every morning along with the occasional chai.

After my bread/sugar crash extravaganza on Monday, and the way I felt on Tuesday because of it - I realized that I need to get rid of the caffeine demon too.

I meant to start that this weekend, but I ended up starting it yesterday. Honestly, I thought it would go easier this time, because I was drinking so much less than when I quit before. I was wrong.

I'm not going to lie. It hurts.

My head is pounding, my appetite is crazy go nuts, I'm totally emotional, and I feel rather like jabbing sharp metal objects through my eye sockets and into my brain.

I know that one Dr. Pepper or cup of tea would make this pain go away.

I have to stay strong. It has to get better than this. My overall health is worth this transition.

Braiiiiiiinnnnnsss

-Seph

Persephone Outlines - How NOT to Follow Through with a Plan

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 03:21:00 +0000

Well, now I am taking Abby's post time - because she has some external stuff to deal with and I am sort of on internal implode.

I had a really hard and frustrating day at work yesterday, followed by my first therapy appointment in weeks.

Prior to yesterday, I'd never had a 90 minute therapy session. I also can't even articulate the amount of anxiety I had managed to build up prior to the appointment itself. (Though the people I talked to in that final 30 minutes have a good idea of it.)

The session itself was actually really positive. My therapist pretty much rocks, and we got a lot of things hashed out and planned and outlined to get me back on track.

I left the office feeling drained but positive.

Then I left my sensei a rambling, nonsensical voicemail that luckily ran out of time so I was able to erase it and re-record a shorter, less rambling one.

And then - I just sort of realized that I couldn't handle the thought of going home. I was too restless and rattled and spent, but also just pinging with free radical energy.

I called a friend.

I got to her house at about 8:20pm and then we went to dinner.

Want to know what happens when you eat pizza and ice cream and drink root beer after going off of grains and sugar and are totally also completely exhausted?!?

1. You stay up and out too late.
2. You finally get home and pass out as if drunk.
3. You wake up feeling so hungover that you are surprised that you're not in some prison in Mexico.

Then, if you're at all like me, you spend the rest of the day feeling like crap, forget to eat because you feel like puking, blow off school, forget to cook dinner, and stay up way past bedtime making a "woe is me" post even though all of this is your own damn fault.

I would love to say "lesson learned" but let's be honest here...sometimes I'm a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to this kind of thing.

I will say though that I am starting to look at bread like I tend to look at alcohol, which means I view it as a dangerous animal I want/need to stay far far away from. This perception of bread is probably awesome for me on a health scale, but makes the part of me that craves bread as comfort food very sad.

And on that happy/sad note. I'm taking my 100lb head to bed.

-Seph

Abby keeps her word

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 02:35:00 +0000

I told Sephy I'd post for her today, especially considering I missed my own posting day due to crash after 11 hour work day.

Then things went crazycakes, and I lost my mind for a bit along with my post.

So, this is what I've been telling myself for the past few hours.
Yes, sometimes life sucks. It gets hard and painful and things go wrong and people are upsetting and things break and I fail and I scream and cry and rage. But I can. I can because I'm still alive. I have love and a roof over my head and food in my fridge and a job and that makes me far more fortunate than many people.

I'm alive and have life inside me. Life that needs sleep.

Sweet dreams, folks. I love you all for reading my rant.

Persephone admits - Just by posting right now I am off routine.

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 02:19:00 +0000

I was supposed to have this post written and posted an hour ago.

I probably wasn't supposed to accidentally go two days with only eating a few bites of food and then take a hot shower and almost pass out.

I also should probably know that the hours I spend reading about healthy yummy food is not actually a substitute for eating the healthy yummy food.

My subconcious needs to know that on Monday, my GPS is not going to become sentient and argue with me, nor will giant storms and trees hit by lightning and improbable geographical distances keep me from my much needed appointment. (I hope.)

And the rest of me needs to get off this computer and get ready for bed so that I have a fighting chance of getting up on time tomorrow.

Disjointed post for the win?

Not likely.

-Seph

Abby - A Day Late, a Topic Short

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 00:57:00 +0000

Or: The Magic of Makeup

I know, that sounds totally crazycakes. However, according to the Flylady, one should always "get dressed to shoes." Basically, the concept is that if you always get completely dressed, even putting on shoes, even if you're not going anywhere, you'll be ready for anything. You act differently when you have clothes and shoes on. Obviously the Flylady site is targeted at stay at home moms, but this baby step still applied to me. You see, I don't wear makeup. I don't feel like I really need it, and I prefer to sleep in that extra 15 minutes (because yes, it takes me that long to get it right.) Unfortunately, getting all the way dressed was my Baby Step for Monday.

Let me back up a bit. On Saturday, I was completely useless, unfocused, and at work. It nearly brought me to tears, I was just that frustrated. In desperation, I put on makeup on Monday. Lo and behold, I was productive! I tried again Tuesday. Still productive! Then again today and yes, productive once again! It's most likely that in my morning preparations the act of putting on makeup is a psychological focusing of my mojo. (technical term) I prefer to imagine that the makeup is magical. It is sparkly, after all. Also, I'd rather not over think it, in case that makes it stop working.

Tomorrow, I wear makeup.

In preggers news, I am now 9 weeks along and Zoidberg has graduated from embryo to fetus. Zoids is a whopping one inch long and growing organs and muscles. I've never felt so tired in my life. I have literally fallen asleep sitting up. (That's why I didn't post yesterday, actually. I was snoring.)

Speaking of which, I've a few things yet to do before I can sleep tonight, so I shall bid you all good night.

Persephone Discusses the Seduction of Free Time

noreply@blogger.com (Gurumates) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 00:55:00 +0000

In the 15 months I've been living by myself, I've learned a few things. Some of them are more visibly useful, like learning how to cook - while others are a little more subtle.

It turns out that I am completely incapable of handling "downtime". Well, I can handle it in small, measured doses, but not if I have a lot of it all at once.

I went from being "off book but productive", to just "off book" to, "off book with my head firmly up my ass".

School started again this past week, and I didn't even have schedules written for the first week because I had social engagements and appointments peppered all over the place.

I've already scheduled my first final for April 22, so I knew I needed to get back on track.

Last night I did what I was supposed to do, I wrote out my schedules for the week. I also made some "global" scheduling decisions so that my weeks are more similar from week to week, more routine oriented and less individualized.

Still, I went to bed last night feeling discouraged. I couldn't even remember the last time I woke up on time, let alone went through my morning and evening routines.

I didn't sleep well. I haven't been sleeping well, mostly due to crazy intense nightmares.

The alarm went off this morning, and I turned it off like I've done for the past few months, and almost rolled over and went back to sleep until the second round of alarms went off, also just like I've done for the past several months. After that, I have been snoozing for an hour or more, barely making it to work on time, let alone getting up on time on the weekends to be productive.

Lest I digress farther, let's go back to this morning. The first alarm went off. I turned it off. I started to close my eyes, already resigned to another failed morning.

But...I didn't close my eyes. I grabbed my Nook, and read for the 15 minutes between the two sets of alarms. (This is the first part of my morning routine.)

I got up at the second set of alarms.

I went through my routines. I had breakfast. I got through both of my scheduled school blocks. I cleaned my kitchen. I set up my food processor. I made dinner. I am writing my scheduled blog post. At 9:15pm I will set myself up for the morning, and then I will spend my last hour reading, which is the last part of my evening routine.

Today was a successful day.

Tomorrow I have the chance to be successful too.

When I am scheduled so rigidly, work and school and my other school and bowling and tennis lessons and cooking and reading - I start longing for free time. When I hear the siren song of said free time, I succumb to it, only to realize that it's not beneficial to me.

Maybe someday I can strike a balance between being overly rigid and freefalling into no schedules at all, but for now, I realize that I more structure I give myself, the better I feel overall, and the more I succeed.

And that folks, is all I have to say on this tonight.

-Seph