Liverpool Echo - Gwlad Tidings

NEW SIGNINGS FOR EVERTON F.C. BOSS DAVID MOYES

2009-06-30T09:29:34Z

IT'S been a while Bluenoses...
Hope you're all enjoying the brief break from the roller coaster that is following those terrific blues.

]]> We've been linked with yet more potential new recruits since my last post.

Some of the names have been promising, others futile and many the sort you'd rather we didn't touch with a barge pole.

To pass some of your precious time, here's the Gwlad Tidings view on some of the names in the frame.

MICHAEL OWEN: I don't care that the former Red's goal scoring record is second to none, or that a subjective medical expert maintains he's fighting fit.
We don't need another perma-injured but classy when fit striker picking up a hefty wedge every week. We've got Louis Saha for that. NO

KYLE NAUGHTON: That's more like it. Ticks all the Moyes boxes. Young, powerful, energetic, quick and comfortable on the ball. Buying the Sheffield United right back would mean we could start moves from both full back berths, giving us loads more creativity than the Baines-Pienaar axis. YES

JERMAINE PENNANT: Surely to God not. Not a Moyes player. Not an Everton player.
No. Please, no. Grade One Arse hole. NO

LORIK CANA: The Marseilles midfield beast would fulfil the centre-of-the-park grock
role we've been crying out for since Super Lee went.
A cult here for the French side he snaps into the tackle, has the proverbial engine of
a Audi A6 and has the odd eye for a screamer. Be great to see him signed. YES

MOUTINHO: Can we just get this over with, or never be linked with him again?
I'm sick of seeing the skilful Portuguese player's name linked with us.
Either we can afford him or we can't. I suspect that unless we were to sell Lescott, we can't. So move on. YES...

MARCUS BERG: £10m is a lot to spend on a prolific at U-21 level, yet largely untried hitman.
If we can keep James Vaughn fit it's an investment we simply don't need to make. NO

JOE LEDLEY: Almost your typical old-Moyes buy. Could be another Cahill or Jags. But is he of the calibre we need to crack at the top four? We'd have to trust Moyes's judgement on that one. YES

ROD FANNI: Nah. Not even for the comedy potential. NO

BAFETIMBI GOMIS: The St Etienne hitman has been dubbed as the new Drogba.
But he could just as easily be the new Anichebe. And we've got the old one. Not worth the punt. NO

STEPHANE M'BIA: Seems like a bad idiot but equally seems mustard. See Lorik Cana in terms of ability.
Would he be angling for a move to Chelsea after a season though? YES

LANDON DONAVON: We haven't actually been linked with him but he took his goal well in the Confederate's final didn't he?
Could come cheap and looks decent. Anyone with fOnd memories of our last prolific Yank, Brian McBride, would be all-in. YES

JOSE ANTONIO REYES: Looked the business at Arsenal but has struggled since. Not a bad idea on loan, but whether he's worth a sizeable chunk of our war-chest is questionable. Probably not. NO

TOM HUDDLESTONE: No point because we've got Rodwell who is a better, fitter, more accomplished player in the same position. Plus since when do we accept Harry Redknapp's Spurs cast-offs as good enough to wear the Royal Blue jersey? NO

PARK JI-SUNG: Again not someone we've strictly been linked with but a class act who may be tempted by first team football elsewhere?
Whether Sir Alex Ferguson is willing to sell remains at doubt, but if they replaced Ronaldo with a couple of big money buys Park may struggle to get a game at all.
Hard-working, quick, bright and composed. A better Leon Osman. YES

That's it for now. Have I missed anyone off? Or do you think you've seen the player that the Ginger One should go for? Post your suggestions.

Let's see what happens

EVERTON F.C. BID FOR KYLE NAUGHTON REJECTED BUT M'BIA IN THE PIPELINE? IT'S LAST SUMMER AGAIN

2009-06-17T08:10:19Z

MY PATIENCE is already wearing a bit thin with the incessant jangling of the transfer gossip sites this summer.]]> When they're not linking the blues to a succession of unknown French second division kids, they're re-hashing the same stuff from last summer about Big Mouth M'Bia and Moutinho.
Then there's the latest report about us reportedly balking over Kyle Naughton's asking price, and for once, if it's over £5m, I don't blame us.

Sheffield United will probably want someone like Villa or United to bid silly money* for a promising kid who's only ever played in the second tier, albeit promisingly.
Back to M'Bia and this Setanta report reads like a carbon copy of last season. He's desperate to leave Rennes, he wants to join us..next he'll be desperate to join Arsenal before staying put again. Or signing for City as cover for De Jong.
Speaking of City, their purported move for Lescott is ominous.
The rumour mill suggests a £13m bid plus we get Micah 'Bad Attitude' Richards, or just £16m straight-up in cold, crisp bank notes.
I say ominous, because the club website moved to quell rumours of us losing one of our best young players with some quotes from Joleon before he went on holiday.
It just made it worse for me.
He said; "We do not see much of the media side when we are away with England, but you cannot stop the papers speculating.
"It is not a question I want to be answering, and no-one has said anything to me other than I am an Everton player.
"I am going on holiday now with my family to wind down for the next couple of weeks and then I will come back fully focused on getting fit for pre-season."
Now that doesn't really read like a ultra-loyal 'I'm staying put' message to me. It's the way he says 'no no-one has said anything to me other than...'
It sort of begs the question, 'Well what if they did? What if they said - how does £80,000 a week sound big fella?'
You couldn't really blame him for biting their hand off.
Anyway, you don't need all those Newsnow searches and time-wasting web scouring sessions when the boss isn't looking because I can now exclusively reveal...
A fella in my gym* said last night that he was talking to the Goodison stadium manager who reckons we're definitely getting Michael Owen and Moutinho - they've both been to Goodison already - and Lescott is going in exchange for Richards.
That settles that then. You read it here fi...yawwwwn.

* Obviously the concept of silly money is almost meaningless in an era when an over-hyped and over-rated striker like Ibrahimovic is rated at £80m.

* You'd think working in the Echo I may have a few bona fide transfer snippets from our sports desk. Half of them are on holiday, as is Moyes, which is why very little is likely to happen until next week at least.

Everton F.C. at Wembley making the F.A. cup final important again.

2009-06-01T10:05:46Z

MY CUP FINAL record is starting to resemble one of Amir Khan's early tomato-can opponents...attended two, won none, lost two.

]]> And if I needed any reminding why I cried in 1989, the hollow feeling before full time on Saturday did the job.

Deep, deep down even before Howard Webb blew time on the 2009 F.A. Cup final, I felt there was no way back.

Chelsea just strangled the life out of us so effectively with the way they powerfully pressed the ball and had the resources to swap Essien for Ballack.

Even in the four added on minutes, when we should have been pumping balls under Cech's chin they managed to keep us in our own box.

By then of course, the heat and a long season was also taking its toll.

Frustratingly, overall, I don't think we performed to our best when it mattered. It's harsh to single out individuals but Osman was poor and Hibbert got off to a nightmare start thanks to a very harsh booking after which he wasn't himself.

I'd like to have seen Rodwell on at half time to get the ball moving across the midfield and make Chelsea's older players sweat in the heat.

Ultimately you can't fault the players. They pulled off a remarkable run beating the Premier league champions and the runners up to get there.

When it mattered most though Chelsea's tiger in the tanks had sharper claws.

I still feel immensely proud of Everton and especially the fans.

Watching us dominate Wembley (again) and make the cup final seem so significant to the nation was amazing.

It was old school cup final day. Hot as hell and exciting. The cup mattered. We were determined to have a good time.

At times it seemed as if a huge section of Liverpool had been supplanted and transported to London. Being outside Wembley from 1pm was my favourite part of the weekend.

Every neutral we met in London wanted us to win. Even the Chelsea fans we met seemed to grudgingly admit we deserved it more.

Seeing some of them troupe away from Wembley unsmiling and not bothered after winning the cup made it hurt even worse.

We'd have had to be dragged out of that ground if we'd won. I'd tried to not let myself think about Phil Neville lifting that cup but secretly I'd seen him do it countless times in my head.

It wasn't to be though. We lost. End of. Excuses about injuries are pointless but we were crying out for a bit of Arteta magic or Jag's steadying influence at times.

This side have used defeat as a springboard before and they must know they are so close to either breaking into the top four or finally lifting some silverware.

We'll be back. Unlike 1995 the foundations are sound for consistency now.

Despite walking away empty handed on Saturday I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world.

HE'S GOT RED HAIR BUT...CHRIS EVANS CAN DO ONE.

2009-05-19T08:53:34Z

SOMETHING'S distinctly fishy about the outlandish (and terrifying) revelation that Chris Evans nearly bought us in the Nineties.

]]> He's been blabbing to the Daily Mail here about how his media group had a sniff around the blues in 1998 because we had 'hardly any debt'.

Eh? Is that the same club which had to flog Duncan Ferguson because we were on the bones of our Royal Blue derriere.

Even if his claims are half-true, it's still frightening. We love to wind the Reds up about their calamitous Yanks but could you imagine us being owned by the Radio 2 DJ - presumably with Danny Baker as chairman and Gazza on the board?.

Makes you shudder doesn't it?

In more positive, and hopefully true, news it looks like we've snapped up a promising (and coveted) German U-17 international from Hamburg.

Mustafi Shkodran was obviously impressed with what he saw when we invited him over to Finch Farm, and you can't help thinking it's a world away from the days of Nigel Martyn being left waiting at Park Foods and Ravanelli taking one look at the charmingly rustic Bellefield and getting off.

Here are his quotes: "I always wanted to play in England and would love to absolutely master The Premier League. With the move to Everton for me it is a dream come true," Shkodan told SPOX website.

"I see myself as an enormously strong-willed guy who never gives up. So I think I suit the English league. I will fight as long and give everything until I break into the first team.

"It's true that those other clubs were interested in me. But the three clubs did not give the same vision that I had at Everton.

"Everton's coaches made a great effort with me. They came to Germany and viewed games of me. That was important to me.

"I immediately felt well on Merseyside. It all fits and then I, along with my family, decided that I will make the step."

The best bit is the quotes from old Jens Todt.

"When English clubs approach, we cannot compete financially," said Todt.

"We wanted to keep Shkodran happy, but we must accept his change. Happy are we? Of course not."

Happy are we? Ha ha. Also, great news about Jags getting some well-deserved awards last night, and Moyes speaking positively to Gabby Logan during Inside Sport on BBC1 - even if he did reveal he wants to manage Scotland (!) one day and hinted further at ambitions beyond Goodison.

Finally, here's some pics of our lads in their tuxes from the awards do. Loving Cahill's 'Underbelly' Sydney gangster look and Fellaini's Belgian Next catalogue pose. Saha wouldn't look out of place at the Oscars though would he? The slick cat.

GETTING OVER JAGS

2009-04-29T09:58:05Z

I'D JUST managed to forget about Jags for an hour while I settled down to watch Chelsea V Barca last night and then there it was in my face again.

]]> This time it was Barca stopper Marquez writhing on the deck in very-real agony after a seemingly innocuous run with the ball at his feet.

Straight away I'm sure all Evertonians watching said the same thing: "That's him out for the season."

Sadly, we're becoming armchair experts at spotting torn cruciates, shredded Achilles and pinged ham-strings.

Aside from the obvious despair at our misfortune and huge sympathy for Phil Jagielka all these injuries have impressed on me how random football can be.

It gives pause for thought that, even at the measly level I play at, you can be right as rain one minute and on crutches for months the next.

There almost seems no point bemoaning Everton's bad luck with injuries now.
I'd thought it couldn't get worse after losing the Yak and Arteta but then to lose the player of the season like that on Saturday was so stomach-sickeningly deflating.

Thing is though, we've got to get over that feeling quickly. As players, and as fans, there is nothing to be achieved by wallowing in self pity.

Jags won't play in the final now or the business end of the Fight for Fifth but Joey Yobo can, and the Nigerian proved at Stamford Bridge that on his day he can be an excellent central defender.

He just needs to find the consistency which, largely, has made Jagielka and Lescott so impervious.

Speaking of Chelsea they looked good holding Barcelona to a scoreless draw at the Nou Camp and if you wanted to be negative you could fear a drubbing in the final.

But then you recall they had almost exactly the same team out against our second string at home and we ran them very close and came away with a deserved point.

Obviously we're all about the final at the moment. It was heartening to see Robert Elstone speaking up on our behalf by criticising the F.A. over their much-publicised woeful ticketing distribution.

At the same time, it still rankles a bit that of the 25,109 tickets Everton got, many of them will go straight away to the club itself (i.e. players, staff, shareholders).

I don't begrudge the ordinary workers at the club getting a ticket for their efforts, nor people who have coughed up their own money to invest in shares, but it rankles a bit that players; particularly the likes of Castillo and Fellaini - who must know about 10 people each in the UK let alone Liverpool - can grab handfuls.

Already the amount of genuine sob stories from devoted fans who are going to miss out is growing.

But I can't knock the club for the criteria they've chosen. There was nothing else they could do because of the F.A.

Unfortunately this cycle of redundant criticism from clubs will go on every May because the F.A. don't really care about ordinary fans, and ordinary fans would never boycott an occasion like the F.A. cup final.

THE SWEET COME DOWN

2009-04-22T15:48:56Z

IN FIGHT Club, novelist Chuck Palahniuk has a canny way of describing the hazy post-euphoric come-down from the endomorphin/adrenaline pumping experience of bare knuckle fighting.

]]> He writes, 'After a night in fight club, everything in the real world gets the volume turned down. Nothing can piss you off. Your word is law, and if other people break that law or question you, even that doesn't piss you off.'

Well without the chipped teeth or bruised eye sockets, I think there's quite a few Evertonians who know what he means this week.

I'm still on a sweet come-down from the emotional highs of Sunday, and the glow of victory hasn't yet subsided.

But I'm also starting to think about the final and hoping it can somehow better (??) Sunday's experience. Obviously, winning it would help.

At the same time I'm feeling the inevitable doubts over whether we can overcome what will probably be a full strength Chelsea side in May, but then who knew we could ever win a penalty shoot out!?

Without wanting to sound like a hackneyed Adidas ad - the impossible can happen, especially during this increasingly fated cup run of ours.

We had a great day in Wembley, getting to the ground about 12pm and never straying from outside the remarkable stadium despite having mates in the Green Man and Silverspoons.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been a few bees with the Taxi Club lot in the pub, but there were tickets to be sorted and sun to lap up on the Wembley concourse.

Eventually my spec in the ground was so good I couldn't even began to have complained.

Now the dilemma is obviously how to get a ticket for the final and that is a whole headache which won't pass until I have one in my hands.

We'll know more on Friday via the official site, but don't expect more than the 25,000 Pompey got and prepare for less.

I suspect it'll be season ticket holders with maybe five or more aways who are guaranteed and the rest of us are in the mire.

Anyway, an interesting little diversion from all that is this evening's dress-rehersal for May 30, the result of which is anyone's guess.

I see a rare weak side from Moysie and that could either get us a point or result in a mauling like we got at the old Highbury in 2005.

Either way, it'll be interesting to see how Castillo, Rodwell and Gosling cope with the rampaging Essien, or Jacobsen and Yobo with Drogba.

This Everton are so resolute though I'll never rule out them pulling off yet another in a long line of longer shots.

PROUD TO SEE EVERTON AT WEMBLEY

2009-04-20T16:05:19Z

HAS IT sunk in fully with you yet?
Nah, me neither. I'm still a bit mentally and emotionally knackered after the biggest day of my adult Evertonian life so far.

]]> We got back at about 1am and I only had the energy to watch the pens again, clock the bit on ITV where Tony kissed the camera in his Fellaini wig, listen to the relief-soaked interviews and go to bed.

Today the sun has been shining as benevolently as it did yesterday, although most of us are still suffering positive post traumatic stress disorder.

Symptoms involve an inability to stop grinning, talking about the game, picturing the scene after Jagielka's penalty went in and picturing that first glimpse of Wembley when you walked up the steps into the stadium proper.

That sea of blue, the flags everywhere......it was emotional in a way more powerful than any other footballing occasion I can recall aside from '95.

Now, I tend to be wary of concepts like fatalism, but after witnessing that at Wembley it's hard to fight the notion that our name is on the cup.

Nobody is entitled to anything in football, you have to earn glory; but it almost feels as if these players deserve a trophy.

A lot of it is about the much-eulogised sense of team David Moyes has built.

You only have to read quotes like below (Moyes on Jagielka), or secondly Cahill speaking to the Sydney Morning Herald to acknowledge the courage and spirit in this team

The Blues boss said: "I don't think Phil was entirely keen on taking one but he had scored in training and that stuck in my mind.
"I asked who wanted one and there were a few heads nodding.
"I looked at him and said 'you all right for one Jags?' and he just said 'no problem'. I think if he'd got his way he might not have taken one, but I didn't have too many takers on the day.
"Vaughany went up and he's not played for four months -- and Jags missed his last one.

Tim Cahill said: "I'm just gutted that I didn't score, but that's why we play in a team and the boys got me out of it. I wanted the ball to go in the back of the net as soon as possible and just skied it. It happens, but if I get one in the final, then I'll probably have another go."

You only had to see the injured or uninvolved; Mikel Arteta, the Yak, Jose Baxter, James Wallace and Nuno Valente getting involved during injury time break to see that spirit extends throughout the club.

Either way it's fair to say the euphoria of yesterday hasn't sunken in yet.

Still, I'm wary that was a semi-final and despite the grandness of it all, there is still one final game standig between us and the trophy we crave.

Before I start thinking about Wembley again I'm going to soak this up a wee but longer and write a more indepth blog on the weekend tomorrow.

For today though, I'm simply a very proud Evertonian.

SPECIAL RULES

2009-04-15T10:16:04Z

IT seems that while Marrouane Fellaini is fast winning over Everton fans, he still has some way to go with referees.

]]> It's frustrating to see the Belgian receive such special attention (or lack of it when being fouled) by refs despite making an effort to iron fouls out of his own game.

You can tell the ex Standard Liege man is trying to be more considered with his tackling, and crucially more often he is either getting the timing right or not bothering.

Initially Fellaini brought a lot of those endless yellow cards and lectures on himself - but that has changed and he is getting booked less.

Yet seemingly because of his physicality alone, be it height or gangly limbs, the rule book appears to have a special clause just for him.

That's - 'Football association rules, clause 604 (a) (addition, 2008) - 'It is forbidden for players to put their arms around the neck/chest of other players in the penalty area.

'It is forbidden for players from a defending side to wrestle attacking players to the floor in the penalty area. Such incidents should result in the award of a penalty kick to the attacking side.

'It is forbidden to do all this - unless the player in question is Marrouane Fellaini'.

I've lost count of the number of times big, strapping centre backs - like Curtis Davis of Villa - choose to deal with Fellaini by grappling like 80s WWF wrestlers until he can't jump.

Yet referees, and linesmen who should be level with the play too, aren't flagging up these offences.

Last night we saw Liverpool rightly awarded a penalty when Ivanovic dragged down Alonso in the area. If that had been Fellaini? Forget it.

Instead we have smarmy BBC producers at Match of the Day 2 focussing on Fellaini's (admittedly bad habit) of hanging out elbows when he jumps.

The midfielder is definitely a player more sinned against than sinning. I just hope the BBC's little biased montage has no influence on the officials for the semi-final on Sunday.

Elsewhere, the footballers of the Premier League must buy into the Champions' League worshipping and Big Four veneration as much as Sky and ITV.

Because only the absence of Champions' League football can possibly explain why Phil Jagielka (who has locked up more strikers at Goodison this season than Margaret Thatcher in her pomp) or the all-round-excellent free-scoring Tim Cahill, never got on the short-list.

Anyway, Wembley beckons now so I'll blog on that before Sunday. I'm heading down to the capital tomorrow for other work stuff before the big game.

I'm already starting to feel genuine optimism that United can be beaten and we have the tools to hurt them on our day.

For today though, it only remains to remember the 96 Liverpool fans who died at Hillsborough and hope one day their families can get answers, apologies and justice.

INGERLUND

2009-04-02T08:32:43Z

WATCHING England last night in their oddly starched looking 1950s style kit got me thinking of our imminent new Le Coq Sportif strip.

]]> I'm not normally one for retro sportswear but in this case I'm holding out for a return to the 'bib' kit which is synonymous with greatness for so many Evertonians.

The French firm would surely be missing a major marketing trick if they didn't try and push their new kit on kids and big kids alike by tugging at the nostalgic heartstrings.

It might be the first time I'll buy a home shirt in a good while. I'll probably never wear it to the match, or much at all, but nevermind.

Good news from the international break was that our England trio were all unscathed (mostly they didn't get a chance to get 'scathed') with only The Jaguar (What do you reckon? Yeah? Funny?? No, not really is it...) touching turf for five minutes at the end.

The big Yorkshire centurion only gave away a few free kicks in menacing areas and jogged about a bit before full time.

Did anyone else get onto the Son Of Slap head (hammer horror cheat Collina) lookalike assistant ref? Scary.

And how bad does Ashley Cole have to play for Lescott or Baines to get a chance at left back? How many 4am benders does he nned to get nicked after? Is he undroppbale because he plays for Chelsea? It seems a bit like that.

Good news also that the Socceroos didn't risk Cahill. I think a lot of that is in the increasingly warm and diplomatic line of communication between Finch Farm and the Australian football federation Sydney.

Bitching about eachother via barbed press reports like we used to was only ever going to make life awkward and risk uppity Aussies pushing Cahill to play more.

So, bring on Wigan. And my semi-final ticket today. Please.

BAINES

2009-03-24T10:23:00Z

LAST YEAR I was lucky enough to be sent up to Finch Farm to have a relaxed chat with Lee Carsley about the work he does for Down Syndrome charities.

]]> While we sat having a brew in the lounge next to the canteen, I noticed Leighton Baines sat nearby deep in conversation with his agent.

Being what can only be termed a 'bad geg' I got the impression Baines was discussing his lack of first team football and how he was getting fed up.

Not stropping or weaseling for a move away, just generally wondering if he's get an opportunity to prove himself.

He wasn't the only one wondering if it'd happen back then.

Already the rising star we'd captured from Wigan was beginning to wane and his Toffee's switch was on the brink of becoming a bad move.

Thankfully the unpredictable nature of football has meant things have turned out completely the opposite.

Baines got a chance to get in the team in his favoured position (after being played in left midfield earlier with mixed results) and has positively flourished.

Now our national team's impressively open-minded manager has picked him for England on the back of his splendid form.

Saturday's technically superb free-kick underlined another aspect of Baines' game to give cause for optimism, alongside his pace, passing, crossing and dogged marking.

Annoyingly our smaller full backs were probably a target for The Portsmouth Grock's game plan, although Baines did nothing wrong for either goal.

Ironically it was 6ft 5in Felliani who allowed Peter Crouch to steal in above him for one, and 6ft + Joleon Lescott who was equally owned by the gangly former RS who has apparently learned to attack and head a ball since heading to the South Coast.

Missing Tim Cahill was clearly the tipping point and we were crying out for his combativeness and aerial threat.

Sometimes the defensive headers Cahill makes in his own box go uncredited.

So while it was a weekend to forget for Evertonians at least David Moyes warmed our hearts on Soccer Sunday with a mix of Red Baiting and Tub Thumping.

I'll leave the last words this week to him after being told by Jamie Redknapp that the city of Liverpool was buzzing, 'If Liverpool's buzzing it is because of Everton. I was tempted to say Norway or Sweden will be buzzing' (because of Liverpool).

ON THE MARCH

2009-03-11T10:59:04Z

WELL AT least my liver can stop taking a late Sunday-pounding now after we successfully navigated the last of those seventh-day F.A. cup tie hurdles.

]]> Seriously, there's only so many times you can turn up for work on a Monday morning looking like you've spent the night up a mountain with Chris Moyles before questions start getting asked.

Questions like: "Why do you reek of Carling and County Road?" or "Did you drive in, in that state?"

We all feared the worst at half time on Sunday didn't we? The curse of the Boro quarter final striking again.

Screech's indifferent form was prevailing and Boro were getting at us, looking sparky and restricting a Toffee's midfield already restricted by having two defenders operating in the centre.

Beforehand I'd been trying to convince my assorted Sunday morning football mates that what we needed was to squeeze Pienaar into the centre because, well, errr, it worked with Arteta.

It seems that not only did they ignore my tactical nouse but David Moyes also preferred to keep things as they were.

Until, that is, the most unlikely saving turn of Tim Cahill switching to central midfield brought us composure and guile.

Of course that wasn't the real gilded twist. No, that was down to King Louis XI of Hamstring.

Does anyone dare hope we can keep him fit and get him on that Wembley pitch in April?
Anyway, let's bask a while longer before reality trundles in.

Even the horror draw didn't prevent the bonhomie flowing like the extra cold in the Taxi Club - but sadly no Phil parker on the microphone this time.

We were also missing the Housewives' favourite fire service hunk JC, but he did gamely turn up in his big mean van to give us a lift home. He may not know how to text but he's a good egg really.

I'll leave you with this photo (which you'll have already seen and discussed ad infinitum by the time you read this...mum).

It's a real What The F..k? moment isn't it? Tony Scott here reckons - suspend your cynicism - he wouldn't be surprised if the Special One was poaching a new utility man for Inter and that Neville would look like Zidane in the slower Serie A.

I reckon it's a quick courtesy drink organised by Neville's agent so the better looking brother can pinch a few tips for his pipelined coaching career.

But then, what do I know?

Keep it Royal Blue.

THE BAGGIES

2009-03-02T12:54:13Z

IF THESE blues can still finish top six and get to Wembley without Mikel Arteta, David Moyes must at least be equal to Sir Alex Ferguson in the manager of the season contest.

]]> Moyes faces another big test in a season of tests which at times have been the footballing equivalent of a Masters in Astro Physics.

How do you win games with no strikers?

How do you cover over more gaping cracks than Liz Taylor's make-up artist?

Our manager has excelled himself already this term, and more than earned the enhanced terms of his new contract.

On Saturday it was hard work looking for the positives but Moyes' comments after the game were the most comforting part of the afternoon (aside of course from that vintage Saha finish.)

"We haven't got another artist like Mikel," Moyes said. "We've got other types of players that we can mould and you have to find ways of doing it. It's not easy to fall into it.

"I've seen what I have to do now."

They were words of authority and I believe in them. I think the manager has already started to hone a way to win games without our creative pulse.

It might not be pretty but at this point in the season I'll just take the wins thankyouverymuch. Especially if it keeps our hand in come May.

Elsewhere, I've got to echo the thoughts of Si on nsno.co.uk. What is the point in Lars Jacobsen if he can't get a game at right-back when Hibbert goes off injured on Saturday and we instead re-juggle midfield and bring the still half-fit Ossie on? Odd.

Equally, what logic persuaded the manager to bring on the increasingly Hapless Castillo?

Castillo watch, a new game invented by my Gwladys friend Tay, actually brightened up the last 20 minutes of Saturday for us no end.

Just watching the lost looking Ecuadorian bumble round the pitch was as amusing as it was slightly worrying. He seems to lose track of his opposite number, not move with the play, and not even get goal side.

Passing simply to a blue shirt looks beyond him. All this too, without the constant crowing pressure from some sections of support that Hibbert and Neville have had to put up with at various times.

Even though we'll miss the comedy, I hope the amiable looking Red Star Belgrade import won't be getting a contract in the summer.

Finally, at least kit man Jimmy Martin had one less strip to wash afterwards. Fellaini didn't break a sweat all afternoon and his susbstitution was a welcome formality.

IF YOU SEE LADY LUCK, TELL HER SHE'S OUT OF ORDER

2009-02-23T12:02:54Z

THERE'S bad news, awful news, and then if you're really unlucky, there's season-crushing, morale vaporising news of the variety Evertonians woke up to this morning.

]]> Mikel Arteta. Out for the season, and for good measure probably the start of next.

A genuine sickening feeling is what most Blues had when they saw him fall clutching his right knee at St James' Park yesterday, and my stomach did summersaults when the worst was confirmed today.

We'd all built our expectations to a head over the last month and now we've got to seriously temper them with regards to everything; the league, a Uefa cup spot push, and worse of all, the F.A. Cup.

Even if Pienaar and Osman come back and play to the top of their combined potential, they are perhaps only worth half of a Mikel Arteta.

Mark O'Brien, as ever, summed it up on Wsag. When the Toffees are very good, it's built on one pretty simple philosophy. Work hard, keep it simple and get the ball to the little Spaniard's feet.

That's when the magic happens.

Well the show's over for a good while now, and Everton are going to need every last bit of the resilience and ingenuity in adversity which has become our calling card to save our season.

You can sense David Moyes's frustration and despair. He finds a way to somehow get us firing despite no strikers and a limited squad and then Lady Luck decides we can't even have that anymore.

I'm not sure this entry has much more to offer than self pity and wound licking.
We can only keep our fingers crossed about Pienaar, Osman and Cahill's rapid returns and hope Fellaini starts operating like a £15m man soon.

In other news, I'm made up Kevin Nolan apologised for nearly snapping Victor's leg in that XXX horror but he didn't seem too contrite when he was giving it the continental pleading and the big, astounded eyes to the ref in the immediate aftermath.

He may be a decent fella, but there are very few - if any - proper Corinthians around anymore.

If Nolan was one, he'd have ran straight off after the tackle once he'd apologised instantly.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF ANDY VAN DER MEYDE.

2009-02-10T11:13:54Z

TWO players with very different trajectories since arriving at Everton have offered more cause for optimism during our recent good run.

]]> Phil Neville, so often criticised for his errant passing, has once again proven he is a vital member of our first team aside from his impressive characteristics as skipper.

While the majority agree that Neville performs best at his proper right-back position, he has again been asked to play defensive midfield for the Tantalising Toffee's over the last few months.

And much to his credit Neville has quietly flourished. Notably against Liverpool in the final cup derby, and against Bolton, he has done the ugly things effectively in front of the back four.

The skipper also appears to have ironed out the flaws in his passing game, or at least knows to cut his cloth accordingly and plays passes he knows will reach blue shirts.

It is impossible not to notice his galvanising effect on team-mates and the (dare I say) Carsley-esque way he gets moves going by simply giving the ball to better players.

On a less significant but still rewarding front, the near-forgotten man Andy Van Der Meyde has found himself off the bench and on then pitch for two games on the bounce.

His quietly impressive cameos have proven two things.

Firstly, that David Moyes is a fair manager who rewards players that work hard and deserve their chance.

At one point, it seemed like Moyes had written-off the troubled Dutchman such was his litany of grievances, but by bringing him on in the derby and again for a rewarding spell against Bolton he has shown him a chink of light at the end of the tunnel..

Even if this is all the former Ajax star's career ever amounts to at Goodison it is better than fading away in ignominity without ever lacing his boots on again.

It also hints that maybe, just maybe, somewhere in the enigma within an enigma that is Van Der Meyde, there may be a Premier League footballer with a future at Goodison.

P.S. Good to see some of you enjoyed the video of Phil Parker in the Taxi Club from last week. Everyone loved his songs and renditions of Z-Cars on the trumpet on Wednesday, so let's hope he is on similar form again at Sunday tea-time.

THE OLD ONES ARE THE BEST

2009-02-05T15:02:24Z

PRETTY good day to be an Evertonian isn't it?

I could eulogise about our solidarity yesterday, Rodwell's maturity, Jagielka's defiance and Gosling's audacity...

Even David Moyes winding up the Reds in the press conference after...

Or I could just leave you with this post-victory video, taken in a bouncing Taxi Club on Cherry Lane at 1:41am this morning.

]]> The old ones are the best.

Onward Evertonians.