GYMBITCH

Too Hot Yoga

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 07:53:00 +0000

: 50.8kgs (getting even closer)

Judgments : Turn on the a/c will ya?

What do you get when you cross yoga with a sauna? The answer is Hot Yoga. It is supposed to cleanse the system, help burn fats, release muscle tension and yada yada yada. Does it work? The first few times I tried it, I was just concentrating on not concentrating on the heat! Needless to say, I was highly distracted and felt embarassed to sweat till the Dri-Fit lost its effectiveness.

After several classes, I actually started to look forward to it. Yesterday, after several down dogs, I was beginning to feel a little woozy and actually blacked out for a short period of time. I would never otherwise admit to not being able to finish a class - this is a remote case. I had to sit out for once to recover my balance.

Not wanting to take any chances, I went for a check-up and found out I had low blood pressure. Doc actually cautioned me against doing hot yoga. Apparently it is not recommended for many people!

When doing my research on hot yoga, I discovered the person who created it - Bikram Choudhury. He is apparently a celebrity yoga instructor and is chauffered around in a Rolls Royce. What caught my eye were all the pictures of him; he practices in Speedo-like thongs!

: What an eyesore, no wonder I almost passed out!

You Can Smell The Fat Loss

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 07:29:00 +0000

: 51.1 kgs (nearing the goal)

Judgments : What IS that smell?

It is safe to assume that many people in the gym are taking some form of supplement. I've seen some people shrink from a size 16 to a 10 and chopstick profiles turned into Arnold's literally overnight.

But really, at what cost? I suspect a lot of these supplements have synthetic materials in them. Believe it or not, you CAN smell the weight loss.

I was in a packed class the other day when I caught whiff of a substance which I remember all too clearly - fat burner. It permeated the whole class atmosphere, people were in this class to burn serious fats! I have taken it before but have pledged to go au naturel, the smell is horrendous and easily recognizable.

After all that trouble, hopefully it works for them.

: First BO, now fats, what next?

Huh?

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:51:00 +0000

: 51.6kgs

Judgments: Just Do It!

The other day, unbranded interactive class guy came up to me boasting that he will dedicate the weekend to "practice running".

HUH?

Don't you just naturally move your feet faster than usual to promote a run? What is there to practice? The movement of arms, co-ordinating the legs? What? Ok, i know you marathoners out there will tell me you want to refine the technique, get used to the distance and train you body etc.

Unlike other sports which you can practice, running just sounds funny. Its almost like me saying that I want to practice walking. It just doesn't work, it happened naturally for me one day when I stopped crawling. I just did it! No practice, just walked. Catch my drift?

: Sheeesh what a silly statement...

Instructors with fake accents

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 03:16:00 +0000

: My Japanese buffet is still there!

Judgments : ALWAYS go natural!

Over the weekend I indulged in a gym marathon, attending almost every class you can name. It wasn't a good weekend to be doing that as most of my favorite instructors were not there *curses*

I noticed a disturbing trend amongst the new instructors, all of them have fake accents! One was so bad I couldn't understand a single word he was saying. Thank god he was quite cute and I had a mission, if not I would've stepped right out of his class. I was shocked to find myself out of step this one time, it would've been worse if not for me memorizing the tracks.

The worst bit about the fake accent is that those who put it on are usually chinese educated, and so the accents are combined with a chinese slang or contain extra ssss-es at the end of the sentence. It irritated me to death! Often I could feel an extra S forming towards the end of the sentence only to be relieved I didn't hear it. You can't imagine how distracting it was.

: I wish they would stick to their cina-fide local accent rather than put on a fake one. The lesser of two evils, if I had to choose.

Inappropriate yoga outfits

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 06:49:00 +0000

: 51.8kgs from all the stresses of a relationship

Judgments : Your little birdie is singing!

All of you would know how I feel about men in tights - not much.

Gym outfits are all part and parcel of the gym equipment, you must look good to feel good and so for wholesome mind and body exercises such as yoga, the outfit is just as important as the workout. I've seen people coming in to class looking like a housewife doing a wok with yan episode on kuali cooking - that look belongs only in the kitchen.

Inappropriate yoga outfits would firstly include loose fitting ones. With simple sun salutations and poses such as downdog in the sequence, huge 80's looking t-shirts are just not in. They ride up the waist and soon you have this bunch of cloth on the top half of your torso, exposing some flabby stomachs and disgusting looking bra tops. Ladies, PLEASE do society a favor and glam up, throw away those old t-shirts and get proper gym gear.

Guys, your option of running shorts for yoga are just as bad. I've seen many exposed balls and other unnecessary sights that really kill the "mind" part of the mind and body workout. If you HAVE to wear little shorts in a yoga class, make sure your packages are packed tight!

TIGHTS, there is that ugly outfit that men should never wear in the gym. It couldn't be more of an eyesore, especially when the birdy is out and singing. It is terribly distracting to women, and if none of us have ever voiced it out before, let me be the first! Tight fitting clothes on men would never be a fashion statement unless you plan to join the Mardi Gras parade.

: focus....focus...

Body Jam Makes You Confident

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 09:15:00 +0000

: 52.5kgs

Judgments : If only they knew what they looked like...

I've been away on a badly needed holiday, it was my way of re-connecting with The Boy; work and our varied interests seem to be keeping us apart. I'm a gym bitch and he carries on life mostly as a couch potato, these are just some of the areas where east and west don't meet. Then again, I'm often reminded by friends that opposites do attract. It would be nice to sometimes run alongside him on the treadmill, not just the beach...oh well, a girl can dream.

It was thrilling returning to the gym and getting my adrenalin running again, that I can say. Nothing has changed since I was gone, a bad VPL imprinted on thighs greeted me followed by a roomful of B.O. during Jam. Jam, now that is a class that does amazing things for self confidence.

Insecure people out there should not be locked up in a hall crying their eyes out at an Asia Works convention or some life improvement seminar. They should sign up for a gym membership and head right for Body Jam. I was late for class once and had to be an observer instead of participant. The confidence that exuded from the people in the class was amazing.

There were overweight women in the skimpiest of outfits available one-size smaller, pudgy men, guys who looked like they needed a pre-gym shower and other people who would never in their lifetime be featured on Tattler. These people are the ones who would be dancing without a care, in fact putting on an even more outrageous show when they see people watching from the outside. JLo and JT wannabes abound in Jam, in fact, they dance like they are auditioning for the cast of Cats!

I can totally understand the feeling of liberation though. When I'm moving with the music, being one with the rhythm, nothing is more exhilarating than the moment itself...

: Unbelievable, but I find myself amused yet abused by the sight

Gross Sights at the Gym (Women)

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 02:52:00 +0000

: I feel fine and my clothes tell me I am

Judgments : Veggies are good for you, Wedgies are not!

You already know my list of gross sights for men, so here it is, the countdown for the women-folk.

The reason for this post stared at me in the face during a Balance class. There it was, the number 1 sin which I'll reveal in a bit. It is embarrassing when women can make such a list, but unfortunately gross sights of women do exist in the gym.

An untamed bush definitely makes the list. But it is not a common sight on the gym floor. What is are flabs, one of the worst sights to present itself without shame. Women with flabs either around the waist or arms must cover themselves accordingly. While it looks ok around The Boy, kind of cute in fact, I've been subject to spare tyres from women who choose to wear only a bra top! This brings total attention to the "what-is-trying-to-be" a waist area.

There is also the flabby arms that continue saying goodbye long after the wrist says so. Women out there, tone your arms before you attempt to wear sleeveless tops! What peeves me most are that the larger-sized women are the ones who seem to think that sleeveless tops look more appealing for their chunkers. I couldn't disagree more! Cover up and spare us the pain. And next time Ms Universe is on, watch it to learn the elbow-to-wrist world peace wave that the contestants have perfected. You would notice no movements from the tricep area. If you're not gonna work it out, cover it up!

If sleeveless tops must be worn for any reason by an offender, for the love of society and beauty - SHAVE! I almost requested the removal of a gym member due to confusion over her actual sex after encountering a hairy armpit. Bush belongs in the White House (at least for now). I shudder even having to recount the experience.

Which brings us to the top of the list and back to the Balance class. My eyes immediately BALKED! OH....MY....GODDESS! It was the infamous VPL making its way to the gyms near me! My head was spinning, the room felt suffocating, I lost my balance and focus almost as soon as I saw the division. The lady in front of me made like a banana and there it was - the split between pantied flesh and non. It was especially pronounced on the fleshier ass coupled with a tight panty.

I wish someone had introduced her to g-strings and I wish I had practiced in front of her. It was all too late now...

: May more women find peace and style and new gyms

The Who, The What and The Why

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 01:00:00 +0000

: 52.9kgs, damn, its got to move faster!

Judgments : THAT is SO ugly!

Gym; its the one place that houses a collection of damn good looking people with great bodies as well as the other end of the scale, i.e. ugly people.

Where else would east and west, black and white, the sun and the moon collide with such envy. Sure, its a one-way thing; the ugly will always envy the beautiful, that is just the law of nature. Some of the uglies will think they are beautiful, and that is when it gets disgusting for us good looking ones. Mind you, the ugly usually can't cross over, no matter how hard they try.

....and boy do they try!

"Who IS that" commonly refers to the women-folk who try to doll themselves out with OTT gym attire. The colors, the extensions and all kinds of animal prints which would fit better in a zoo!

"What IS that" gets to the next level of ugly where they become something else. I hate to say it but often its the flamboyant gay man that gets this tagging. He thinks he IS and walks around the gym looking it and of course gets widely noticed.

The next level of ugly is reserved for those beyond help and shouldn't exist amongst the beautiful. Sure, they are bold; bold enough to think they can walk out of the house looking like that! One look and your facial muscles can't help but react. You want to look away but you have never seen such a sight - you can't help but to stare. "Why IS that"...because it doesn't make any sense for those people to be.

: Need to go shopping to clear my mind of the mental image of the Why Is That guy

My Fitness Pal

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 03:07:00 +0000

: According to My Fitness Pal, I should be on track to meet my weight goals by November!

Judgments : I feel in control!

I chanced upon this site for health and fitness freaks like myself recently. It is called My Fitness Pal and the site seeks to help people get on the road to fitness and to achieve their goals. They do this by offering free online tools to track your progress, such as a calorie chart where you can key in the various food groups or even food items to determine the nutritional facts.

There is also a diet journal you can use to keep track of your progress, since diet goes hand-in-hand with the amount of exercise you put in. The idea is to control your calorie intake while making sure you're burning enough. The calorie counter allows you to be more aware of the calories in food intake, especially the bad 4 letter word - FATS!

If I stick to my program, I should be able to see a meaner me soon. Watch out world!

: On the way to achieving my goals

New Release Review

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 08:30:00 +0000

: 52.9kgs

Judgments : Les Mills has gotta do better

I spent the weekend and the past few days absorbed in work and adjusting to the new release. I only have one thing to say about the new release.

I'm disappointed!

I only enjoy jinga in combat, the moves are ultra cool, but overall, the new release is not challenging at all. RPM has a lot of uphills but after the marathon RPM session over Merdeka nothing is challenging anymore. I'm terribly disappointed with pump, the music tracks all suck big time, except Gwen for abs. Ok so the lunges and triceps were quite interesting but thats about it. Jam was a piece of cake.

Les Mills, you gotta do better!

: Am I in lotus already? Gosh, didn't seem like I worked out one bit!

Yoga Trend Snob

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 06:22:00 +0000

: 53kg, a step closer to my goal of hitting 50kgs by year-end

Judgments : Like Paris Hilton, I'm misunderstood

I went to Yoga Journal today to check out some tips on a certain mind and body bending pose. While there, something caught my eye, it was the Yoga Snob Quiz. There were several categories of yoga practitioners according to the quiz; trend snob, a yoga school snob, a spiritual snob, an eco-snob, or a balanced yogi.

Of course I had to click on it to find out where I stood. Here are my results:

I'm a Yoga Trend Snob!

A Yoga Trend Snob

You appreciate the finer things in life—and you're willing to pay for
them. You have the best "yoga butt" around, which fills your designer
yoga pants to perfection. You spare no expense on souvenirs that remind you
of your love for yoga. You acknowledge you are a spark of the divine, and you
take care of yourself accordingly.

But your preoccupation with appearances might be hindering your growth. Keep
practicing. A whole new dimension of yoga will reveal itself to you in time,
and you'll realize you don't need to spend money to be fulfilled.

Take the Yoga Journal Yoga Snob Quiz!

: Guilty as charged, but it is good to have positive affirmations. I am one with my elements

Nudity In The Gym

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 09:48:00 +0000

: Dropping the kilos after the endurance RPM run over the weekend

Judgments : That ain't a pretty sight!

There are acceptable levels of nudity in the locker room. Most of us abide by it, some break it to the max, like the one who invaded this woman's space, check out her blog entry Nudity and Modesty. Ms Starkers should have been grateful I wasn't present there at that time, if not she would've heard a mouthful from me and finally understood shame!

I have however encountered other painful moments during my time in the gym. The most memorable has to be explained with my first pictorial called "Good Bush, Bad Bush"

Unfortunately for me, I ran into "Good Bush Turned Bad". It happened as I was winding down in the sauna. I turned around and there IT was attached to this lady who had TAKEN sexy back AND thrown it away! Amidst the heat and after a long day, I was almost convinced I had ended up in the Outbacks and was bushwhacking!

I spent the rest of the steam room session facing the wall, anytime more pleasant than the sight of an overgrown garden that badly needed weeding.

Top off is common but pussy showcases are not recommended, not even when you've recently visited The Ministry of Waxing in Bangsar. Girls, you have to go Brazilian someday, drives your men crazy ;) tip of the day courtesy of mwah. As for bush's sister, if you're reading this, get a trim for crying out loud.

: Luckily I'm not vegetarian for the day, couldn't bring myself to eat the fatt choy that resembles bush...

New Release!

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 09:05:00 +0000

: Feeling a whole kg lighter thinking about the new release!

Judgments : "New Release" is not a reference to the latest orgasm...

I can't wait for this weekend's new release! I was told there are some challenges ahead for Body Combat, with one of the tracks running for over 6 minutes! Lots of Jinga incorporated. Oh gosh, that means having to bear with some hopeless souls who can't Jinga in combat mode, they should fit in Jam. Taking about Jam I hope the new release has some tougher moves, last one was quite disappointing. Pump's killer lunges launched previously might be hard to beat this time around.

RPM? I might be looking out for 90 minute classes going forward after the Merdeka challenge...

: I can therefore I am

90 minute RPM challenge!

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 02:22:00 +0000

: 53.2kgs

Judgments : Too bad for those who didn't get in!

Over the Merdeka weekend, the gym had an RPM challenge, this one was more challenging than the usual 60 minute challenge, we had a 90 minute non-stop cycling adventure! People came early and were stretching and signing up all pumped to get the legs going.

Too bad for those unlucky ones who didn't get in, some complained all highly bitter, others cried foul, I was happily perched on my bike warming up and wasn't about to give my place up for anyone.

We had two instructors that day and the longer the session went on, the male instructor became increasingly sweaty. If you know bicycling gear material, no words can describe how gross it is when drenched. It just looks....smelly! The whole package suddenly started playing images in my mind, I could almost see the odor fumes coming out from him. Needless to say because the outfit is tight and now wet, nothing was left to the imagination. Maybe the room was cold.

90 minutes on the bike and you can't help but drift in and out of the occasional pain and fantasy. Made note to self to make quick exit once class was over and before senses kicked in. I'm sure the closed room environment would've bred BO to the max! UGH! Sometimes I wish gyms were more hygienic...oh don't even start me on that!

: Body feel supercharged all ready to take on the world and the weekend!

Its NOT an interactive class you idiot!

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 07:15:00 +0000

: 53.7 kgs

Judgments : Just pedal and shut up!

RPM or spinning as it is known overseas became highly popular in the late 90s. I remember reading about it being widely followed in the States back then. Only in these past few years did Malaysia pick up on the trend, here we call it RPM, I assume it is a Les Mills branded name.

First time I heard of RPM, visions of furiously spinning tyre rims and engine revving came to mind. The vision turned out to be a real nightmare! RPM really gets the sweat breaking through. Those of you who can't seem to manage a drop should try this class. The only thing I hate about it are the disco ball lights, they make me dizzy at times and do nothing to help me imagine that I am cycling through the villages in France.

Nothing however irritates me more than this moron in class who thinks that he needs to be responding to every command the instructor spews out.

RPM Instructor : Ok, get ready to turn it up, we're coming to a hill
Moron : "Ya"
RI : Turn it up!
Moron : "Ya"
RI : How you all feeling? Good?
Moron : "Ya" Whoooooooooo

For crying out loud, it is NOT an interactive class, and where on earth does he find the energy to do anything but pedal like hell!

: Someone should shove a sock into his mouth before the class...

Sour Lemon

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 04:52:00 +0000

: Not important!

Judgments : The Boy is not going to have a welcome home!

"No time" was the excuse he gave me when I asked if he had gone over to Pure Yoga to check out Lulu Lemon! No time for Lulu Lemon? Sometimes I wonder about his priorities...

: See if I have time for him when he gets back from Singapore

Gross Sights at The Gym (Men)

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 05:20:00 +0000

: Feels light like a bunny!

Judgements : I wish they'd learn to be beautiful before they came trotting in the gym!

The gross sight is not the men themselves but their sense of dressing. You already know what I have to say about those in track pants.

My gay boys have a great sense of style along with hot bods but not all have such sense of style, lets not even talk about the straight men. The Boy, when he does feel like gymming, throws on the t-shirt on top of the ironed pile and a shorts that matches or sometimes doesn't and off he goes. There is no planning...that's where the problem lies.

As a result, they burden other people with how they look - UGLY! Disgusting also comes to mind but gross is my usual reaction, especially to looks that are so last century. Tights rate top of the list. Why do you think Robin Hood Men In Tights wasn't a blockbuster? Gross sights usually involve tights I'll provide a visual:

Men in tights and little singlets
Men in tights and little singlets and no cutting on their arms or chest
Men with all of 2 above and with a protruding stomach

If you think I made that up, he exists in my jam and pump class. And shockingly, he has friends. I just try to stay on the other end of the studio in case I choke catching a glimpse of him while trying to catch my breath.

Another disturbing sight is men in running shorts. They are too little and too loose. This is not Hawaii.

I do yoga and in one of my classes, we have a guy who practices in his running shorts! He along with the shorts should be banned from yoga class. Running shorts should only be allowed in marathons and on guys with toned and larger thighs. Put the running shorts pulled high on milky white legs with matching running top and you might get the urge to offer him a sarong or a fashion magazine.

: I hate jewelry viewing while I'm trying to synchronize my breath with my pose!

I Want...Lulu Lemon!

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 10:02:00 +0000

: Had another bout of runs so I should weigh even less now!

Judgements : There is Nike and then there was Lulu Lemon

I was in yoga executing an especially twisted pose when I noticed the newcomer next to me decked out in Lulu Lemon from top to bottom. That BITCH! I've wanted a LL outfit for some time now. Its like a designer gym outfit. The fabric is amazing, their logo so cute and the colors totally juicy! I WANT I WANT I WANT!

The outfit doesn't look good on her at all, perhaps more toning and classes might help. Seriously, the LL outlet managers should filter their clients before selling them anything. Note to self to NOT get the same outfit.

After class I pretended to compliment her on her poses and proceeded to inquire about LL. She bought it overseas, but apparently it is sold across the border, down south at one of the yoga centers. I came across an outlet selling LL here but prices were ridiculous. It was going for close to RM500 for one piece. I didn't like it that much after that but the salesgirl who thought she was selling Prada didn't have to know. Seriously, what IS IT with salesgirls? If they had all that money, they won't be SALESGIRLS would they?

Not being able to get LL out of my mind after seeing apparel queen in class, I immediately called The Boy who happened to be there on business. After convincing him that I missed him terribly, I suggested that he would be a true darling if he got his executive butt over to the yoga centre to check out some really sexy outfits. Promised him I'd model whatever he decided to bring back ;) its always works *giggles*

: Can't wait for The Boy to call!

Mariah my ass, Pariah Carey perhaps!

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 03:50:00 +0000

: 53.5kgs! I was gravely ill last week and lost quite a bit of weight! Go girl! Not the best way but WHO is complaining

Judgments: If everyone could sing, Simon Cowell would be ahead of Bill Gates or Slim Helu on the Forbes' List

I just got into the gym and was sitting in the locker room when I heard Mariah Carey's Hero being sung behind me. The natural reaction was to throw up then beat the shit outta the bitch herself and also the one who was singing it. Mind you, it wasn't sung in normal humming formats (more appropriate for locker room environments) nor even the sing softly-to-self manner. NO, Pariah was in full vibrato form, thinking she was the diva herself!

I turned around of course, had to see the offender, and there she was decked only in a towel, combing her hair and singing with a hell-could-care attitude. Well, hell did care; they obviously sent her back here didn't they?

She obviously thought that her emotions carried the song through. Well darling, it takes more than Emotions to carry any tune, especially a Mariah's and I didn't buy hers. My friend happened to catch her "performance" on the way in, glanced at her and Pariah didn't seem to be embarrassed one bit. Must've thought she was live in Madison Square Gardens *eyeball rolls*

Reality check!

: Shit! I can't seem to get Hero out of my head...

Jam for the Boys

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 09:41:00 +0000

: I suspect I lost a whole kilo during PT session

Judgments : If only straight men cared so much about their bodies...

I missed Body Jam the other day, was running late thanks to some idiot who had to explain something pointless at length during con call. Unfortunately, the idiot was someone senior so nobody squeaked nor interrupted when he droned on past my Jam hour. Instead of intense bodily movements, I had to settle for the calming yoga class. Which is fine since I need to maintain flexibility.

While waiting for yoga to start, I stared longingly at the on-going Jam class, imagining myself in there. Automatically I found myself moving to the music but what caught my eye were the two boys at the back of the class. Their body movements were so fluid and sexy, they swayed without effort yet with so much energy, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. They were obviously gay, only the boys would have such fluidity of movements.

I confess to being a fag hag and what other class but Jam will get my boys there with me, apart from Step of course. Sometimes I'm so geram with them for being able to do all those sexy moves when I occasionally miss a step. They glam up for the class too mind you, with accessories and all.

Of all the straight men in the classes I've been to, I swear only like 1% can actually do power moves and not look soft. Those who can't, god help them coz they look totally out of place and kayu. Mind you, chinese guys can really be off with the rhythm.

I've also been in Jam classes with uncles trying to keep up with the Charlston...yes, it is their era, but with Ms Aguilera's new "Candy Man" track, they can hardly keep up! Instead of looking young at heart, they just look plain ridiculous.

: This outfit is not meant for yoga, kept adjusting the pants while in forward bends and warrior :(

Icon therefore I am

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 10:42:00 +0000

Some of you have asked what the icons mean.

This icon signifies my weight, one of the reasons why I head to the gym ever so often. So cute kan the colored barbells. Girly girl weights in yummy colors!

That is me in "lotus" meditating, thinking about the day's event or just thoughts that run through my head at the end of a gym session. Only when I am calm and collected in thoughts can I write with total clarity.

Work Those Legs, Chicken Little

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 08:18:00 +0000

: 56 thereabouts. What? You think I weight myself everyday? I got a life!

Judgments : Men. If only their family jewels were as big as their ego

In the gym, I can't help but notice that guys are so focused on working out only the top half of their bodies. Its funny given that their brains are down "there".

Girls, if you don't believe me, ask yourself why so many of them wear track pants and not shorts. 'Fashion' could be a semi-correct answer but really, it is to hide their Chicken Little legs. Too bad, I now know your little secrets (amongst other little secrets). Everytime one of you smiles at me wearing a track bottom, I smile back but really my head is screaming "scrawny leg alert".

I've seen so many men that look as if they will topple over if anyone shoved them from waist up. This is especially true with those of you bulging at the chest, out of your tank tops but with chopstick legs. Seriously guys, if you wanna pump iron, don't forget about the legs. Working the legs would also mean an exercised set of buns *faints momentarily thinking about those*

Guys, if you don't already know, strong muscled legs drive us crazy. Why do you think we watch football? Beckham's leg of lamb couldn't be juicier, many including me would love a bite. Honey, if you're reading my blog, just know that I love your legs the way they are, but more gym would be nice *muakkss & hint hint*

I have a theory. Maybe men are afraid of working out those legs in case their "little brother" looks even smaller against a large thigh! I suspect I might be right about this...

: Note to self - ask The Boy if theory might hold water. If he doesn't tell the truth, hold back benefits accordingly

Definitions, not of the bodily kind

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 06:56:00 +0000

: 55.5kg

Judgments : Like everything else, gyms have become so commercialized

Prior to joining this gym, the last time I stepped into one was in the previous century. Only "Group X" classes they had then was hi-lo and step. Hi-lo today is probably the equivalent of Body Attack and Step is still step. Enter the new century with bikini bods like Jessica Alba and Paris Hilton getting starring roles in men's wet dreams, you have no choice but to work that much harder!

There are so many variations and choices of group classes nowadays, Combat, Pump, Step, Body Step, RPM, there is even belly dancing and line dancing for the aunties. I'm just waiting for strip/pole dancing to hit the gyms, likelihood of that in Malaysia being slimmer than Nicole Richie of course.

When I first joined, I required a total overhaul of the gym lingo to keep up.

Last century terminology; Combat - widely used in military training, Pump - for when I top up gas, "to pump petrol", RPM - measures the relationship between my foot on the gas pedal and the rev gauge on the dashboard.

In the present century, Body Jam is yet another form of group exercise, and there I thought they finally had an adult class with a bit of dirty dancing incorporated. Some Shakira and JLo combo. I was genuinely interested in finding out how the spread would turn out...

My BFF and gym partner had the best definition of all:

Body Jam = a state of being where the body "jams" up (a.k.a stuck, malfunctions, does not/cannot move)

: Body feels fab, energy and hormone levels back to normal

Brands Are Essence, Like Chicken

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:45:00 +0000

: 56ish kgs (a little bloated from the monthlies)

Judgments : Bata is NOT a brand, Nike on the other hand is

Right after a round of very challenging uphill climbs and endless sprints during RPM (all necessary to lose the water retention), I was reading the papers and getting hydrated when one of the RPM groupies parked himself down beside me and started chatting away. Don’t people get a hint?? Sometimes, reading materials are not about reading, its about avoiding unnecessary conversations such as the one I was currently going to have! He was still dripping in sweat and smelling like it, eeeuuuggggghhhh!

Now don’t get me wrong, some men looking like sweat nation really do look hot and sexy, but you really do need a great bod and fine looks to get away with sweaty ‘pits and “manly BO”. Think the cover of Men’s Fitness, no less baby.

Ball hugging pants guy proceeds to admire my Nike Air Max and then asked where I bought it. I curtly told him that it could be found at most sport-outlet chains or in the Nike store. While wiping away the sweat with his stained face towel, he then added that Nike shoes, although nice in appearance, don’t work for him. Immediately my eyes gazed downward at his feet thinking I’d find a Reebok or Adidas. Call it reflex action but I’m sure my face didn’t hide my feelings when I saw the Power logo. BATA was his brand of choice!

Perhaps in reaction to my expressions, he quickly mentioned that he had a pair of Nike shoes prior to this, but it couldn’t take the pounding of both gym and road running. If you asked me, it didn’t look as if his pair of Power shoes took it that well either…To cover up further, he said that his pair of Nike costs him close to RM200 and didn’t last more than 1 year. Honestly honey, that isn’t even half of what I paid for mine and if you looked into my shoe closet, you might just let slip and call me Imelda.

Once you go branded, you never turn back! Here was this guy selling me the benefits of a pair of Bata shoes when those who know me know that I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing non-brands. It was a painful conversation to say the least, especially when I was decked out in the latest collection, head-to-toe.

So as not to collapse from the BO fumes or the lack of a topic of interest, I pretended that The Boy lacked attention at home and speedily rushed off.

: Body feels good after RPM but nose and patience took a hit today

Truth Be Told

noreply@blogger.com (gymbunni) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:40:00 +0000

: 56kgs

Judgments : Damn, the combat instructor is still on my mind!

This is my first entry, I’ll tell you how and why I started this blog. I joined the gym some time back to (a) wear flat abs confidently with the bra top and (b) have toned arms like Madonna’s. I am grateful for good genes and a determined mind. Now that I am there, maintaining it can be a chore at times but the opposite would be unthinkable.

While I occasionally enjoy gymming, I bitch on end about people in the gym, their dressing, mannerisms, just about anything. Friends think I’m critical….yeah, WHATever! You would be too if you saw those people. Oh, and there is The Boy who never seems to be fascinated with any of my rantings. And so in Gym Bitch, I choose to tell the rest of the world, or at least those who care to read about it.

It takes the weight off my 30″ Body Pump bench-pressed chest at times and lessens the strain on my knees, and then all is well and balanced once more. Don’t try to spot me out or guess which gym I’m from. This is not a contest and I’m not the “Mystery Gymmer” tagged to a prize. After all, it makes it more fascinating to observe and not be known, almost like a spy who fits right in and infiltrates an organization. So you better watch what you wear, things you do and noises you make, I’ll be right beside you noting it down…

: A weight is lifted off my shoulder now that I can bitch