hafsamientos

Three Steps To Improve Your Concentration In Prayer

2014-07-25T21:28:00.002-07:00

Concentrating on my prayer is something I find extremely hard, especially since I had my baby. Any mother will know that unless they are being looked after by someone else (which isn't possible at every prayer time or any for some people) they are either grabbing your legs/skirt/hijab, destroying something they're not supposed to be, eating something they're not supposed to be, or crying. In any case, you can't help but watch them out of the corner of your eye, or rush to finish your prayer to stop them crying (or even attempt to pray and hold them at the same time!). None of this is very conducive to concentration!!

Quite apart from this there always seems to be a multitude of distractions to prevent me from praying on time or from concentrating once I am praying. I suddenly find all sorts of random jobs that I feel compelled to 'quickly get done' before I pray, even if the prayer starts in only 5 minutes, causing me to end up praying late. Even worse is my mind wondering once I have already started; suddenly I forget how many rakat I have done or I forget the surah I am in the middle of reciting. Or my scarf starts to slip off or there's something in my eye, or I have an itch on my arm I just have to scratch!

Then there are the times I pray at work: in a busy staff room crammed in a small space between my desk and the photocopier with only 30 minutes to use the bathroom, make wudu, re-do my hijab, eat my lunch and prepare for the my next lesson. This doesn't leave much time for praying; especially when I am accosted by a distressed student in the hallway who needs 20 minutes of reassurance that no she is not about to fail her exams.

In all, astaghfirullah, my level of concentration has a lot of room for improvement. As we are in the last ten days of Ramadan I began to think about this a few nights ago before praying my taraweeh. I decided I really wanted to concentrate properly and try to do so from now on. I know this will not be an easy task as I have resolved to improve in many things before without much long-term success. However, maybe if I come up with some specific steps to follow, God Willing I may be able to achieve my goal. So here's what I came up with (some of which I have already started doing alhamdulillah):

1. REMOVE ALL DISTRACTIONS
If possible pray somewhere quiet where there won't be any music or people talking etc. Make sure you have a good prayer mat. Not one that wrinkles up or moves around as you pray, or has one of those badly designed patterns that looks like a face staring back up at you! (Apparently it is normal for the human brain to look for faces in things, so I really think this should be taken into consideration when making prayer mats!!). I find it helps to have a specific place to pray (when possible, if not I can imagine I am in that place) that I associate with being calm and focused. I also like some nice ambient light.

Make sure you are not too hot or cold, wear comfortable clothes that you are confident will not somehow slip off or expose a part of you when you move (e.g. a skirt that shows your legs at the back when you bend down or a gap between your top and trousers or a hijab that keeps slipping). The last thing you want is to be shivering or fiddling around with your clothes once you've started praying.

If you have a child try to plan what they will be doing. If they are not old enough to join in properly (like mine) try to get their nap time to coincide with prayer time. Or have some toys that you only get out at prayer times (so they associate you praying with being able to play with a favourite toy rather than with you ignoring them for ten minutes). Make sure they are in a high chair/playpen/baby proofed room so that they can't get into any mischief while you're praying. If all else fails let them watch Hurray for Baba Ali while eating raisins (almost always keeps my baby occupied for a bit!) just make sure the volume is not high enough to distract you!

2. PREPARE YOURSELF MENTALLY
This one seems to be really helping me so far. Often I will simply make wudu, lay my prayer mat out, throw on my prayer clothes and say 'Allahu Akbar' without much pause in-between. I then start to become distracted by all the things listed above after starting. So now I've decided to make a habit of pausing before doing takbir in order to clear my mind, make sure I am feeling comfortable and that there are no distractions. I try to think about the seriousness of what I am about to do, that I am about to speak to the Creator of the universe, I take a few deep breathes and try to feel calm and composed. If any distractions pop into my mind such as the fact that I need to remember to do something I write them down somewhere before starting to allow my mind to let go of any other thoughts once I start praying. I make intention that I am going to do my best to concentrate.

3. UNDERSTAND YOUR PRAYERS
I will always remember my husband's surprise and concern about the way I prayed when we first got married. Thank God he inspired me to change. Praying for me used to be rather liked going into autopilot. Upon saying 'Allahu Akbar' I began to recite a steady stream of memorised sentences in Arabic, with the only thoughts required being deciding which surah to recite next or making sure I carried out the correct number of rakats for that particular prayer. Other than that my mind was free to wander! I'd done it so many times that sometimes I'd get up and pray Fajr in such a tired state that I woke up a few hours later and couldn't even remember praying at all!

I have since realised the importance of understanding the Qur'an as much as you can, and doing so in order to improve your concentration in salat is just one of the reasons why I feel it is so important.

If I can I try to learn surahs word for word in English. This is easier for some than others, for example, Surat-Al-Fatiha is quite straight forward. You can use a website such as this one in order to find out what each word means.

I try to read the explanation (this one for example) of the surah to really understand what it is about. I might note down the key lessons to be learnt and try to think about them whilst reciting. Explanations of each surah can be very long and detailed so I find it helps just to summarise some key parts that I feel are important/relevant to me.

It also helps me to picture an image or story in my mind rather than just the words of the surah. I recently discovered this website, which is designed for kids but I feel is appropriate for any age if it helps!

Finally, in order to remember everything you learn you could get a special notebook to write down notes on each surah so you don't forget what you've learnt. You could keep it where you pray and have a quick look at whichever surahs you intend to recite just before you start. I have started with a few surahs and plan to slowly build up. At the moment I am focusing on the surahs I already know in Arabic before trying to learn any new ones. InshaAllah once I have finished those I can start learning more in Arabic, and this time I can learn their meaning too.

This Really Made Me Think

2014-07-16T20:21:00.000-07:00

I recently watched this khutbah and a few of things he said really made me think about my own actions as well as what I have witnessed from other. In a discussion with a Non-Muslim at the beginning of Ramadan I was sad to hear about this person's Muslim colleague, who has been in a 'foul mood' all day due to having to fast. What a bad impression to be giving of Ramadan! I think it is really important not to complain about how thirsty or hungry or tired we are and made Non-Muslims think that Ramadan is some sort of extreme barbaric practise. Instead we should do our best to highlight the benefits of this amazing month, alhamdulillah.

Fasting is about so much more than simply abstaining from food and drink, and the points made about controlling your speech in particular made me think about my own actions. I have a terrible habit of interrupting people. I'm not sure why I do it, but when I heard this khutbah it made me feel awful as I never really saw it as a particularly bad thing before (even though my poor hubby hates it!). God willing I am going to do my best not to interrupt people any more!

I hope you have time to watch the whole lecture but for now here's a summary of some key points about speech and the etiquette of talking during Ramadan (and indeed, for the rest of the year!).

Smile regularly whilst talking to people as the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) did :)
Think before you talk
Listen more than you talk
Understand the listener's perspective and how they will interpret what you say
Be positive

Don't interrupt people, particularly your parents
Don't criticise, rather encourage them positively by your own actions
Don't 'one-up' i.e. try to keep showing that you know better
Don't ramble on and on and on... and on (guilty again!)
Don't monopolize the conversation and be pushy

And one more that I always remember about the prophet (pbuh) is how he would always turn himself to face the listener and give them his full attention, mashaAllah how respectful. If only we could really implement Islamic teachings in our day to day behaviour rather than just reducing it to 5 daily prayers, halal food and a headscarf (or beard!). I always hope that one day inshaAllah the good behaviour of true Muslims will outweigh the negatives of a few extremists and we will be respected and looked up to as we were in the past.

To Fast Or Not To Fast... While Breastfeeding???

2014-07-15T18:25:00.002-07:00

Fasting and breastfeeding at the same time was something that worried me at first and a lot of people I know are unsure of what to do or worried about it so I thought I'd share my experiences.

Since Ramadan is in the middle of summer at the moment and we have to fast around 18 hours here in the UK, it seems a long time to go without eating or drinking when I am losing a lot to a hungry baby at the same time.

I was also worried about the Islamic rulings as I had been given conflicting advice and read a range of differing opinions online. Should I:

a) not even consider fasting at all and feed 30 poor people instead

b) not even consider fasting at all and make up the 30 days during shorter winter days or wait until I had stopped breastfeeding, by which time I'd have at least 60 days to make up.

c) do the above and feed poor people in addition to making up the fasts

d) try to fast some days and feed poor people for the days I missed

e) try to fast some days and make up the days I didn't fast

f) try to fast some days and make up the days I didn't fast as well as feeding poor people

From what I understand there is some allowance for breastfeeding mothers in Islam (just like there would be for someone who's ill for example, or travelling). However, knowing which scenario to follow was extremely confusing, especially as the method for deciding whether to try fasting or not seems to be whether you fear the fasting will hurt you/your unborn/breastfeeding child or not. It seems that if you ARE fearful it is haram (forbidden) to fast but it you are NOT fearful it is haram not to fast! Obviously I don't want to be doing something haram in Ramadan but having never had a baby before and not being a doctor how on earth am I supposed to know if I am fearful of him being hurt by fasting or not??

After reading articles such as this one I decided it would be a bad idea to try to fast the whole of Ramadan whilst pregnant. However, I didn't want to miss out completely so I fasted a few days and never two consecutively. I was about 4 months pregnant and I think I did mainly alternate days. The next Ramadan I was exclusively breastfeeding a 7 month old baby and, alhamdulillah I managed to fast 20. This Ramadan I am still breastfeeding my 19 month old but not exclusively by now obviously, and he eats plenty of food and water in addition to breast milk. Therefore I have fasted every day so far alhamdulillah. The 20 days I missed in the two previous Ramadans I made up last winter when the days were nice and short! (Not all at once though!).

In my opinion the MOST IMPORTANT THING is not to put yourself or your baby at risk, but AT THE SAME TIME, to me it is also important to TRY YOUR BEST. Alhamdulillah my baby and I are both in good health and I make sure I get enough to eat and drink and so does he. Between iftaar and suhur I try to drink 5 or 6 mugs of water, I eat 2 small meals and one big one (so I'm still getting my standard breakfast/lunch/dinner) and I would not fast if I started to feel unwell or if I felt my milk supply decrease while by baby was still dependent on it etc. I also try to have naps during the afternoon when I can and I take as much leave off work as I can (I only work part time 3 days a week so this year I've just worked 2 days a week during Ramadan, and the two years before now I've taken the whole month off, alhamdulillah I'm lucky being able to as a teacher since it's fallen in the summer holidays).

Eating, drinking and sleeping enough is essential as I have found out today. With this routing, alhamdulillah, you may not believe me but so far I have found it EASY!! Seriously, I've barely felt hungry or thirsty at all, even on the days that I work from 7am - 6.30pm. However, Yesterday morning I accidentally missed suhur and found today much much harder. I felt tired and completely lacking in energy, and by about 2pm started to feel thirsty too. It really made me think about those people in the world who can't afford to eat and drink properly on a daily basis, and live in hot climates too. I don't know how they cope, may God have mercy on them.

To conclude, I feel it is important for each person to research the rules and then make an honest judgement about their personal situation and whether to fast all, some or none. But try not to stress about it too much because as I said, I really have found it (relatively) easy this year despite it being the height of summer with 19-hour long days!

Please let me know your experiences of fasting while pregnant or breastfeeding - what decision did you make and why?

Fellow Muslim

2014-07-13T08:12:00.000-07:00

A poem written by one of my good friends, excellent reminder for Ramadan

Fellow Muslim, I see you there

So quick to judge, but never fair

I wonder much, do you not see

Muhammad's (pbuh) way is gentle, free

Of malice, scorn, so crude and vile

Such spite, your own soul does defile

Your tongue rolls off such noble terms

Yet twisted aims in your heart burn

You break the oath, our Prophet's (pbuh) plea

To harm not man, or beast, or tree

In pomp, conceit, you cast your hate

On those who follow other faiths

You must not know a single thing

Of a just, righteous Christian King

In Abyssinia, in times gone by

Who heard the desperate, needy cry

Of Muslims greater than you, a thousandfold

He gave them refuge, and peace untold

And Muslims who may not comply

With narrow thoughts, you do despise

You see Truth solely in your code

Islam is vast, a spacious road

I put to you a grave request

Consider, would it not be best?

Relinquish hate, a wretched load

To carry to your last abode

And live the rest of life in peace

Thanking Allah for granting lease

To you upon His lovely Earth

For your being, and for your birth

Our time is fleeting, much too brief

To share not fruits of real Belief

Spreading goodness, in word and deed

God willing, that we may succeed

- Bassil Abuali

Stop Motion Blu Tack

2014-07-08T09:18:00.001-07:00

Randomly found this stop motion animation I made with blu-tack when I was at uni, thought I'd share! Ahh I miss my time at uni when I had time to do things like this!! I also miss having time to pamper myself, have a relaxing bath (on my own), and to spontaneously go out to the cinema or some event at the last minute and just take my dinner with me in a sandwich!

However, I would never want to swap my gorgeous baby and husband for making stop motion animations, and hopefully at some point he'll be old enough to make them with me! (baby not husband).

This seemed like a good idea at the time...

2014-07-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

One date later..... enough said!

We did manage to finish them in the end, 2 days past their best by date! Somehow fasting makes me feel justified in eating whatever I want in those 5 short hours between iftaar (breaking fast) and suhur (starting the next fast). Especially after watching that programme about the fast diet where you can apparently eat whatever you like in-between fasts.

Anyway, despite realising that food shopping just before iftaar is not a great idea I couldn't resist buying 3 packets of pancakes last night at ASDA, even though I'd already made an apple crumble for desert... (we ended up freezing one pack) though to be fair they had been reduced from £1 to 5p! Now that is a bargain I couldn't refuse! In fact, I still have some medicines to collect from their pharmacy so I might go back today and see what other offers I can find!

Has anyone else been shopping while fasting and then found it impossible to actually eat everything they bought?

One thing to keep in mind though, while talking of all this food (why am I talking about food while fasting anyway what is wrong with me!!?) is to be grateful that our fasts are only temporary. Even though 18-19 hours is a long time to go without food or water, I can't imagine what it must be like for people who are fasting due to lack of food rather than choice. Thank God I know that I can have whatever I like to eat this evening (God Willing) even though I have to wait another 6 hours. Imagine knowing that all I had was some watery soup or a few bits of bread. Imagine those people who don't even have access to clean drinking water (13% of the world apparently). How does that even work?And people here about complaining about having to go without coffee etc. You can see some more info about global water issues here. For now though, I'm going to stop thinking about food and try to finish my Masters application once and for all!

Aaargh!! Muslim Phobias!

2014-02-28T08:46:00.001-08:00

After reading this article about 5 frightening Muslim phobias it made me think of writing my own list. It seems that there's more than one irrational fear prevalent in some Muslim communities, some of them more amusing than harmful but others are downright unislamic and do nothing but give Muslims a bad reputation! So, without further ado, here is my list of Muslim phobias:

Anuptophobia - Fear of Staying Single

Is it just me or do Muslims have an somewhat unhealthy obsession with marriage? We all know that it completes half your deen, and of course we all want to find a loving, committed relationship, but reaching the age of 25, or 30, 35 or older without being married is nothing to be terrified or ashamed of! Please, enjoy your life in the meantime, stop feeling so sorry for those poor old '30 year old pensioners who surely must be infertile by now', and once you do get married, we're happy for you, really, there's no need to show off with hundreds of wedding photos and lovey-dovey status updates....*shudder*

Andro/Gynophobia - Fear of the Opposite Sex

I have literally seen people jump and hide behind objects, insist on avoiding eye-contact whilst performing an eye examination and even heard of people who would prefer to let someone of the opposite gender *die* than risk going too near them whilst they're not properly covered! Sure, segregation in some cases is a good thing (like public toilets.. or changing rooms at the gym... definitely changing rooms!), and we're not supposed to touch/flirt/stare at/be alone with a member of the opposite sex but, and this may come as a surprise to some, simply passing near to a man/woman will not cause you to be pulled together into an unescapable embrace (unless they have that giant magnet from Breaking Bad hidden in their jacket and you're on your way to a fancy dress party in an Ironman costume) nor will laser beams shoot from the eyes of any man who happens to glance in your direction and burn you to a cinder.

Bidaphobia - Fear of Innovation

I read an article the other day which made me laugh - scholars declare that breathing modern air could be bidah and haram since it's not the same air the prophet (saw) breathed and is thus an innovation! Although this is clearly a joke some Muslims really do go too far with this and proclaim that everything from quranic calligraphy to singing nasheeds for children is bidah.

Some even extend the innovation concept from acts of worship to all other acts in our daily lives (including anything modern in general) - using electricity, cars, aeroplanes, modern medicine... Ok yes all these things are bidah technically, but they are not haram - those are only the ones which go against or somehow alter the command of God... such as terrorism for example... seems pretty straight forward to me!

Homophobia - Needs no Explanation!

Ok so we all know that homosexual relationships are not allowed in Islam, just like a relationship outside of marriage for example, and I feel it's perfectly fine to have this belief. However, some Muslims take this to the extreme and go out of their way to hate, avoid at all costs or even deny the existence of homosexuals altogether! Some people also seem to have this ridiculous notion that gay people hit on every person of the same gender that they come accross and therefore it's vital to keep away from them before they try to seduce you! I even had to reassure one Muslim girl that she could still talk to her friend who had recently come out because yes, I was pretty sure she would not try to grope her if she stood too close!

On a more serious note these irrational perspectives are extremely unhelpful to any Muslims who experience homosexual feelings, and to non-muslim homosexuals whose private lives are really none of our business. Islam promotes tolerance and kindness not harsh judgements and prejudice.

Karifophobia - Fear of Non-Muslims

This is related to the fear of innovation in that some Muslims are so paranoid about 'not imitating the disbelievers' that they again extend this from acts of worship to everything! Wearing jeans for example, or celebrating... anything. Wedding rings, honeymoons, going on holiday in general, making any kind of musical tune with your voice/hands/feet... since music is haram and the way of the kaafir...

Some even say we shouldn't associate with people who aren't Muslim, we shouldn't be friends with them and only talk to them when absolutely necessary. It is better to avoid them as much as we can, in fact, it is better to just emigrate to a Muslim country as soon as possible!

Thank God the prophet (pbuh) didn't have that attitude or there wouldn't be any Muslims!!

Jinnophobia - Fear of Genies

Jinn stories are the Muslim staple for round the fire ghost stories, and unlike in Aladdin these jinn aren't friendly or funny and don't come to grant you 3 wishes!

The stories always start with something that happened to my best friend's cousin, or my aunty's hairdresser... or my dad's friend's niece.... when she was taking a shower and suddenly felt something touching her back....!! (maybe it was the shower curtain..?? no?) or somebody was driving at night and suddenly a person was standing right in front of their car and nearly made them crash!! (maybe it was an actual person...?).

Sometimes it gets more dramatic or just downright strange; people becoming possessed and attacking others or themselves, people turning into horses legs, jinn riding bikes, eating ladu, hiding in trees, hiding in dogs, in snakes, in bathrooms... the bathroom thing still scares me to this day, I daren't look in the mirror if it gets past a certain time in case there's a jinn behind me... in fact... I'm going to stop writing this post right now as apparently just thinking about them attracts them to come to you..... this stuff isn't made up you know!! (ok so most of it is... but there's some truth in it and the scary thing is... you never quite know which parts are true....!!)

Jujuphobia - fear of black magic

Ok why did I decide to write about 2 scary things in a row late at night when I'm sitting on my own and it's relatively dark (ok there are two lights on in the room but its still feels too dark and the lights are giving a somewhat eerie glow which I never noticed until just now...).

Juju, or black magic, goes hand in hand with jinn, especially people using jinn to do black magic... can't get much scarier than that! Now as with jinn, there is some basis for black magic in Islam as far as I am aware, for example we shouldn't participate in it ourselves and there are cases of it actually working. However, some Muslims become paranoid they blame every ailment and misfortune on black magic! Have a headache? Someone must be sticking pins in your voodoo doll. Stomach upset? Someone must have hidden some potion in your food in revenge after you broke off your engagement to their son. Late for work? Well it's not your fault that you neighbour called upon a jinn to delay you....! One should also be extremely careful when accepting gifts. Unless it's from an immediate and trustworthy family member it's better to be on the safe side and throw it away, you know, just in case they cursed it with a magical spell to make you late for work for ever....!!

Ommetaphobia - fear of eyes

Not just the 'evil eye', which, granted, is pretty scary when you think about it, but eyes on teddies, on dolls, in photos, in cartoons, on smiley faces...!! Yes you are not supposed to make statues and worship them but personally I'd rather not have any animal/baby toys at all than have all my teddies and dolls with their eyes gouged out!! I'm sure a train set would be a perfect replacement for example... just make sure it's not thomas the tank engine!!

Questionophobia - fear of questions

This one actually annoys me a lot, it seems strange but a lot of Muslims (mainly the older generation) really don't like it when other Muslims (mainly the younger generation) ask questions about Islam.

Ask a question such as 'does God exist?' 'how do we know', 'why do we pray', 'do we have to fast', 'how do we know Islam is the right religion and not another one?' and you will be faced with a look of panic and stern reprimand to do as you're told and stop asking stupid questions! It's as though these people are worried that they won't be able to find a satisfactory answer and that the questioner will decide not to be Muslim anymore if they look into it too much! Yet why should anyone follow something they don't understand or really believe in?? That's just stupid, why did God give us brains if we're not meant to use them? Adnan Ibrahim has a good video about this here.

Zoophobia - fear of animals

Finally, this is something that makes me pretty sad. Hmm, this was meant to be a funny post but some of it has ended up being rather serious! The classic Muslim animal phobia of course is dogs; you'll see fully grown Muslim men actually jumping out of the way or crossing the street when they see a dog coming, even on a lead, even a small poodle or shi tzu....

The teaching that dogs are impure has lead to Muslims becoming fearful of them and wishing to avoid them at all costs, seemingly forgetting all about Qitmir; that dogs are perfectly acceptable companions for hunting, guarding etc; that not all schools of thought consider them unclean; that at the very least their fur is not unclean, so no you don't need to dry-clean your cost 7 times if a dog brushes past you (I actually heard of someone doing this!) and that dogs are mentioned in a positive way in the Quran not a negative one.

Ask many Muslims and they will inevitably have a had a 'bad childhood experience' when a dog chased or tried to bite them. Well I was almost bitten by a dog as a child, I'm allergic to them and I have been chased by a lion...!!! Ok so it was just a cub but I was terrified at the time! But the point is I'm perfectly fine and I still like them so I feel that these are just excuses! To me this is rather sad as dogs can be such amazing creatures mashaAllah.

However what I find even worse is how some Muslims seem to extend their hatred of dogs to all other animals as well. Ok so pigs are forbidden to eat (so you can kind of see why Muslims seem to hate them in general even though I don't personally see how some Muslims jump from 'we shouldn't eat them' to 'they should all die', which is what a Muslims guy actually once said to me during a visit to a zoo) - I mean, do they think all other animals that we don't eat should also die?? what about Humans...?! Maybe we should all become cannibals to avoid the issue... but, I digress....) and snakes can apparently be possessed by jinn as I mentioned (and Voldemort apparently) but what about cats for example? I was so upset to see cats in Masjid-al-Haram, of all places, being beaten with shoes, or a tiny kitten at Mount Arafat running in terror from two boys with sticks. There are even well known hadith about the companions of the prophet being kind to cats (one of them was even nicknamed the kitten man! may God be pleased with him).... yet they are still treated badly. Sorry dogs, you've got no chance!

How could anyone want this to die??

p.s. I just came across this book, looks really nice. I might get it for my lb - animal stories of the Quran

World War Z

2014-02-25T02:28:00.000-08:00

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*warning some spoilers*

A rare movie for me - 5 stars!! This has just the right amount of action, suspense and kept me on the edge of my seat for 2 hours; there wasn't really any 'this would be a good time for a toilet break' moments. It was kinda like an extreme version of The Walking Dead (to which I am somewhat addicted) - zombies taking over the world due to the spread of some virus, except unlike most zombie films, these ones can *run*.... Which makes more sense, and makes it more scary!

I don't remember any bad language being used, and there are no dodgy sex scenes or anything, so it's a good movie to watch with your family (though perhaps not for young children as there is some violence of course with the zombies) and it has a good storyline - something which a lot of action movies seem to lack; just the right balance of action and acting for me.

It was also cool how they filmed some of it in Jerusalem (I'm sure I recognised some of the streets they were being chased down having been there twice myself) and interesting to see the use of the 'apartheid wall' in the movie - useful for keeping out zombies as well as suicide bombers apparently... or not! Totally pointless it turned out to be just like in real life... I hear the movie has received some criticism from pro-Palestinian activists for showing the wall in a positive light and somehow drawing a parallel between zombies and Palestinians, but I didn't see it like that when I was watching as there are both Palestinians and Israelis inside the wall together. A scene of unity between the two groups is portrayed as though they put their differences aside in order to survive the zombie attacks. Surely this is a good thing?

It has also been criticised for making the 'apartheid wall' into a symbol of peace rather than one of conflict as it is in reality, or that Israel is put in an unfairly positive light in the movie as it is one of the only 2 countries to survive the zombies. Again however, I saw it in a different light. The only other country to survive the zombie attacks was North Korea because they pulled out the teeth of all their people! So to my mind Israel is being compared to this - only countries with harsh regimes and military force are surviving, I don't think they are necessarily saying this is a good thing! And the failure of the wall to keep out the zombies in the movie, yet the success of dealing with them in another way (which I won't give away but it doesn't involve extreme Israeli-style force) just shows that these strategies do not bring peace. What do you guys think?

Islam - Positive or Negative?

2014-02-24T03:46:00.000-08:00

A while ago on facebook I saw the picture below appear on my timeline. I'm going to give whoever made it the benefit of the doubt and assume they ad nothing but good intentions to remind women of how to behave in a good manner as required in Islam. However, my first impression of it was very negative - and to tell the truth it made me feel rather angry and upset. I see the reason for the use of the street signs to communicate 'street etiquette' but to me all it does is reinforce the negative stereotype of the oppressed Muslim women, a stereotype I do my best to dispel!

Now, I'm not saying that the information on the poster is false (well, I found that some of it has more evidence than others in my research but overall most of it has at least some grounding), but what I object to is the way in which is it presented. I often find this in Islam, something that is actually good is presented in a very negative way. So, I decided to make my own version to show that the same information (I excluded the less well evidenced stuff) can presented in a positive light and that actually women are not oppressed but highly respected in Islam. Let me know what you think!

"Women have an honoured position in Islam. Allah and his prophet provide specific advice to women to help them maintain their respect and dignity. Among these things is to dress and behave modestly, to avoid attracting attention to oneself, to respect each other’s personal space in the street, and to save your love and beauty for the man that is committed to you. Equally men are taught not to check out women in the street, not to speak to them disrespectfully, to protect them from harm, to provide for them, to make them happy. May Allah guide all of us to be the best to our husbands, our wives, our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters in Islam. May He put strengthen and bless our relationships with each other, let us see the best in each other and don’t let us divide the Ummah"

Pacific Rim (2013)

2014-02-23T15:29:00.003-08:00

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I really enjoyed this movie too! Seems like I'm seeing some good movies recently, another action/sci-fi type so somewhat like Elysium. No inappropriate scenes or bad language so great for family viewing. I just took off one star because there were a few too many fight scenes for me. I know I know, it's meant to be like that, but I felt like I was squinting to see what was going on a lot of the time especially as it all seemed to be in the dark - don't the Kaijus ever come out in the day?? I would have liked a little more story, and also the geographer in me was somewhat unsure about the whole concept of aliens coming out the ring of fire... ok yes I know it's made up of course, but as far as I could tell these monsters were coming out somewhere near Japan, in which case how were they coming out of a destructive plate margin?? Surely they should have been coming out of Kilauea or something, now that would have been much more believable!

Elysium (2013)

2014-02-21T15:47:00.001-08:00

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I really enjoyed this movie! Husband did too until the end when he decided he hated it... ok so there were a few things that could have been better - the bad guy wasn't scary enough (according to my husband) and there was one scene in particular which was pretty unrealistic. In fact, the whole plot seemed a little weak - that a whole 'planet' could be reset with some sort of computer virus - they were so advanced they could cure cancer in 30 seconds yet their security systems were totally flawed. However, in a way it kinda reflects today's technology reliance - what would happen if the internet was hacked into/shut-down on a large scale. And I liked the geography theme with the over population and environmental destruction. But nah, couldn't give it 5 stars due to the plot weaknesses but, it is a movie and I did enjoy it, so I reckon it deserves 4 stars, let me know what you think!

End of Watch (2012)

2014-02-20T03:34:00.000-08:00

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Haven't done a movie review for ages!! And I've actually watched quite a few movies since my last review (well, it was a loong time ago!) so thought I'd add the last 4 I've seen. These were not at the cinema as I have sadly stopped going since having a baby. I just never seem to have time and feel bad leaving my lo for 3 hours to see a movie when I already leave him when I go to work! Now and then is ok I admit but the other reason is we bought a projector last year so we have a kind of home cinema experience in our lounge - since the projector cost us around £250 I want to make use of it! It's not perfectly clear like the cinema by any means but it's good enough for me, plus it's free and I can sit in my pyjamas, have intervals whenever I want and home made snacks!

So my hubby chose this movie, I'd heard of it before but it's not something I would automatically go for. However, it turned out to be pretty good. There wasn't that much of a storyline compared to say, Elysium or World War Z, which are on a much bigger scale, but it's main strength was how realistic it was, just two normal cops in LA and the experiences they face. I would say it's an action thriller, lots of action but kinda scary edge-of-your-seat stuff too. The acting is excellent from the two main actors (Gyllenhaal and Peña) they have great chemistry between them you really feel like they're best friends.

I minused a star due to the unnecessary amount of swearing (mainly the f work), apparently it comes in
top ten for movies that use the f-word, a bit ott for my taste! I have this thing about swearing that the more you do it and hear it the more normal it becomes, when it shouldn't be, it's horrible and I don't ever want to become immune to it for mine and my lo's sake. But other than that I'd definitely recommend it, just don't go and watch the other 9 movies all at once!

Memory Jar

2014-01-10T02:55:00.002-08:00

I saw this idea posted on facebook and decided to try it, sounds like a nice family tradition to give you something to look back on and hopefully laugh/smile about and remind you of the good things in your life. However, without the time required to keep a diary, which I used to do but can never find the time for anymore. Even the baby book I was planning never materialized, but this needs only a minimal amount of effort. I also like the way the notes are secret, only to be revealed when the jar is opened at the end of the year/when it gets full, and that anyone can post a note inside, all the family can contribute and you're not influenced by reading what other people have written, like you would in some type of book. Actually this could be a good alternative for a wedding guest book! You could even ask guests to your house to contribute if they wish.

Making the jar in the first place does require some effort, unless you don't mind it plain or you just buy one, but I wanted to save money and I wanted it to look pretty, so this is what I used (everything was stuff I already had):

Large pickled onion jar
Dried flower petals
Wooden clothes peg
Instant coffee
2 cotton face pad things (ordered these accidentally one time thinking they were something else!)
Pendant from an old necklace
Bit of ribbon from a clothes tag
String of beads from an old broken bracelet
Piece of white felt
Pomegranate tea bag
Elastic band
Coloured sugar paper

I put some flower petals at the bottom of the jar, discarded the lid and covered it with a piece of pink felt (it was white but I dyed it pink with the pomegranate tea as it had gone a yellowish grey colour having been lying around in my cupboard for years!), secured in place with an elastic band. I trimmed the edges and also secured a wooden peg (dyed with coffee, though this didn't work too well and it hardly changed colour, i originally wanted a dark brown peg but never mind).

I hung a pendant from an old necklace along with two cotton face pads dyed pink/brown by threading a piece of ribbon through them. I then covered the elastic and felt edges by wrapping round a long string of tiny beads (thanks Hana!) and draped the last part down around the jar. I cut a hole in the felt for posting and secured pieces of different coloured sugar paper (pink/red/yellow/orange/brown) to the side with the peg.

I plan to attach a pen to it too when I find a nice one, maybe wooden, but haven't got that far yet! You don't really need to attach a pen or the paper but it just means it's easier to use and hence people are more likely to use it, no one will bother if they have to hunt around for a pen and paper first!

Please tell me what you think! I realise most people won't have the same things at home as I did but I hope I've given you some ideas about to make your own, let me know if you do I'd like to see it!

Depression Cake

2014-01-01T06:47:00.003-08:00

It was the day before our big monthly shop so we were running low on food and ingredients, no biscuits, no fruit, no cake to have with my tea! Fortunately, I did have some flour, sugar, cocoa and vinegar, which is all you need to make this amazing cake!!

Check out the recipe here, it is so easy, you don't even need a bowl! (although i used one cos i wasn't sure if I could mix it properly in the grease proof paper). It doesn't take quite as rich as a cake with milk and eggs, but it's really soft and moist and definitely chocolatey! Great for people with dairy/egg allergies too. You can also make other flavours, might try the lemon one next...

Oh, and it's name - this is the last thing that would make you depressed! Although maybe it's supposed to be made for depressed people to cheer them up? That would make more sense, but the name actually comes from the Great Depression in the US, which is when this cake was invented, I guess necessity really is the mother of invention! Now just need to wait another 1.5 hours before i can break my fast and eat some!

Fresh out the oven...

Ready to enjoy...!

Breastmilk Sweet Buns

2013-10-22T15:15:00.001-07:00

So I had some expressed milk that needed using up again; after my recent discovery of how easy it is to make bread rolls I thought I'd use up the milk by making some for my lo.

Same recipe except I used the milk instead of water and also added an egg, a large spoonful of honey (instead of sugar) and some chopped prunes and dates. Also I couldn't be bothered to leave it to rise twice so just shaped the rolls straight after kneading and then let them rise.

Fortunately they turned out really nice (better than the biscuits which went kinda hard and stodgy after a few days unfortunately) and, most importantly Isa liked them, yay! So now I have something yummy and healthy to give him for lunch at nursery the next few days =)

Morning Rolls!

2013-10-19T16:13:00.001-07:00

I met up with a dear friend a few days ago whom I hadn't seen for a long time and she gave me a recipe book. In it was this recipe for morning rolls, and since we had run out of bread this morning I thought I'd have a go.

Unfortunately I had neither bread flour nor light brown sugar but decided to have a go with what I had - normal plain flour, soft dark brown sugar and a decent attempt at kneading and I got some surprisingly nice rolls!

They were so easy to make, all you do is add 2 teaspoons of sugar and 2 of salt to a third of a packet of plain flour (500g) along with a 7g pack of yeast, mix in warm water until you get a soft sticky dough then get a good work out by some vigorous kneading for ten mins.

Leave to rise in a warm place for 1-2 hours which you get whatever else done that you need (laundry, breastfeeding, lesson planning....) then, give another couple of minutes kneading, divide into small balls on an oiled tray.

Leave to sit in the oven for half an hour or so before turning it on to let them rise up again, then bake at 200C for 20mins (or till they sound hollow when tapped on the bottom and are slightly golden) and there you have it, warm freshly baked bread, delicious! And perfect for any time of day, breakfast, a snack, an accompaniment to lunch or dinner. Plus they make your house smell lovely!

I've been inspired now so hopefully will be trying out some more bread recipes soon, and these will definitely become a regular staple to our diet - fresh, cheap, delicious and I'll get nice toned arms hopefully!

Home Made Chocolate Mousse

2013-09-30T12:18:00.000-07:00

So, I had a big tub of double cream to use up and short of pouring it on my cereal didn't really know what to do with it (my husband isn't a fan of cream and there's no way I could drink 600g myself before it went off!).

Then I remembered the chocolate mousse cake I made a while ago and after looking through various websites decided this would be the best way to use the cream. Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures of the process as I was trying to get it done quickly (no time for pretty cakes with a 9 month old!) but I got some of the end result and I hope my description is clear to follow for anyone who wants to try it, it's really quite a simple recipe.

1. Whip 600ml of double cream and refrigerate. Keep a little aside in another bowl.

2. Whip 4 egg yolks until they go pale and form soft peaks

3. Put a large tablespoon of sugar (I used soft dark brown cos I love it), a large tablespoon of golden syrup and a tablespoon of water in a saucepan and heat until large bubbles form.

4. Add boiling sugar mixture carefully to eggs mixture and whip to mix.

5. Melt 150g of plain or milk (I used a mixture) chocolate and mix into egg-sugar mixture.

6. Add chocolate mixture to whipped cream and mix together.

7. Spoon into glasses, add whipped cream and chocolate powder/sprinkles/similar to decorate.

8. Refrigerate for a few hours, then enjoy!!

As you can see in the picture I used rather large glasses as I didn't have any others! Next time I will probably use shot glasses or something of a similar size as it's rather rich, it would probably be good as an accompaniment rather than a desert by itself.

Breast Milk Baking for Baby....

2013-08-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

Before anyone says 'euuww gross!!' I made these for my BABY! (hence the word 'baby' in the title!), not other members of my family, not my friends, not other people's babies, not the general public!

For those people who still think it's gross I'm guessing you think breastfeeding is also gross so I suggest you find another blog to read! This is intended for people who support breastfeeding (which should be the entire human race since we'd be extinct without it but that's another discussion!) and would like to hear about it's benefits!

One benefit that is perhaps not as obvious as it should be is that it can be used in cooking! So, since I had some left over milk and didn't want it to go to waste, plus I've recently started weaning my baby I decided to try out the recipe below:

Soft Banana and Spinach Cookies

2.5 cups plain flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
0.75 cups soft dark brown sugar
0.25 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Mix together in one bowl

0.5 cups vegetable oil
1 egg
0.75 cups breast milk
1 ripe banana mashed
2 tablespoons honey/maple syrup/date syrup

Mix together in another bowl, then boil:

3 balls frozen spinach

in a small pan, strain and ix it into the wet ingredients. Then add the wet to the dry ingredients, mix together and use a spoon to put drops of mixture onto a baking tray. Bake at 180C until they start turning brown.

I decided to add spinach to make them more healthy! I boiled frozen spinach for a few minutes, strained it and stirred it in. You could also use fresh spinach, make sure it's soft and cut into small pieces you don't want anything that could pose a choking risk in there like a long leaf...

The original recipe didn't have it in, actually it didn't have breast milk in either but normal milk, but I didn't see why I needed to treat it any differently to normal milk, apart from the fact that it's sweet so you'd need less sugar. Also some people might not feel comfortable putting honey or date syrup (it's not recommended for babies under 1 due to the small risk of botulism) so you could put maple syrup instead, apparently this does not have a botulism risk as the method of collecting it includes boiling. However, some people also say maple syrup is not good for babies for a reason I'm not sure of, but then again refined sugar isn't either but you have to give them something!

Anyway, my baby liked them and he ate one and half, yay! Now I just need to figure out what to do with all the rest since I doubt he'll be able to finish the all my himself... I guess I'll have to help him eat them, they actually taste quite nice! You could make them for yourself and just put normal milk of course!

My Favourite Breakfast

2013-08-18T05:08:00.001-07:00

1 cup porridge oats
1 cup full cream milk
1 cup water
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 tablespoon soft dark brown sugar
1 tablespoon honey
Berries

Cook on a low heat for around 10-15 minutes, add the berries to the porridge and enjoy a tasty and healthy breakfast!

I love making this breakfast when I have time e.g. on the weekend, so thought I'd share it with you. It's quite straight forward, I have put ingredients for one serving - by cup I mean a small cup, however much porridge you can eat in one serving, the important thing is the milk:porridge:water ratio. This recipe yields quite a thick porridge so you may want to add more milk or water if you find it too thick. I use full fat milk (it's more healthy apparently despite the extra fat) but if you prefer skimmed milk you may want to use more milk and less water.

I keep frozen berries in my freezer, once cooked they work just as well as fresh berries. You could use them fresh though, perhaps add a few uncooked ones too. This is how I like it but you might also want to alter the amount of honey and sugar to your taste.

Enjoy! And check out this page to find out about the health benefits of porridge oats!

Help! My breastfed baby won't take a bottle!

2013-08-13T05:51:00.000-07:00

After 8 months maternity leave I'm due to return back to work this Thursday. For the past few months I've been panicking about leaving my lo on his own for so long, especially because it's been such a struggle to get him to take the bottle!!

I thought I'd write a post on this to share with other mums who are facing the same problem! Unfortunately for me it's not possible to feed him at lunch time or anything like that. Even if I did take him on the 1.5 hour commute (involving walking, a bus, a car and a boat) a leave him in the creche at work my lunch break is too short to feed him anyway. I'll be away for around 11 hours at a time so him hanging on till I get back (as I've heard some people do with their babies) isn't an option either. Plus I need to express during the day unless I want my students asking me why I have two big wet patches in the middle of a lesson!

Thank goodness I'm only going back 3 days a week, but after 8 months of not being away from my lo for more than a couple of hours inbetween feeds this is still a daunting prospect!

Babies who are used to breastfeeding often don't take to a bottle very well. Can't blame them really, but for many people it has to be done! My lo has never really liked pacifiers so it didn't surprise me when he didn't like his milk from a bottle! Every time I tried giving it to him the most we could get is a couple of little sucks but mainly he just saw it as a toy/teether and chewed on the teat without actually drinking anything! When he was really hungry he wouldn't let me put the bottle anywhere near him, he would just scream and push it away.

He's still not at the stage where he'll take to a bottle like he does to the breast but he has improved and he'll now drink 2-3 ounces at a time and he'll actively reach out and put it in his mouth. He stills chews the teat but sucks too now! These are the things that worked for me:

- Only give him the bottle when he's in a good mood

- Never try to force him to have it, be very patient and let him figure it out and play with it if he wants
- Get a teat with a big hole (I've got this one, I also have some other teats and I just cut the hole bigger with scissors - this way the milk goes into his mouth even when he's just chewing it)

- Give it to him while he's distracted doing something else e.g. watching a cartoon

- Don't try to make it breastfeeding replacement, sometimes he just wants to comfort of breastfeeding it's not just about the milk, so I don't try to give him the bottle instead of the breast, at first I still breastfed him the same amount as before, this is something extra that happens at a different time so he doesn't feel like if he has the bottle I'm not going to breastfeed him.

- Give it to him in a doidy cup - sometimes he prefers this to a bottle

- Give it to him sitting up

- Co-sleep (safely!) so they can make up for for the lack of bf during the day!

- Start to wean him onto solids so he's not so dependant on milk. So far we've been doing a combination of spoon feeding and baby led weaning, we've tried baby rice (mixed with breast milk), mashed potato with other vegetables, pieces of watermelon on the skin (so big lumps don't break off into his mouth), baby crisps, baby rusks, potato wedges, small pieces of very soft cooked chicken, bread, peanut butter, cream cheese, yoghurt.

And these are some other suggestions I've found in my research that haven't worked for me or I couldn't or haven't tried but anything is worth a go, every baby is different so you just gotta keep trying until you find what works for yours!

- Put your little finger into their mouth with the teat

- Disguise it under your top so they think they're breastfeeding (apparently this works for some but my baby figured it out straight away and seemed rather angry that I was trying to trick him!)

- Get someone else to give it to him, i.e. someone who doesn't breastfeed him!

- Try different teats if you can afford to! (I tried latex as well as silicone and different shapes but didn't seem to make much difference, the thing that worked was a bigger hole)

- Squeeze some milk into their mouth if you're trying a teat with a small hole so they realise what on earth this thing is!

- Spoon feed the milk!

This week I'm taking my lo to nursery every day - an hour on Monday, 2 on Tuesday and 3 on Wednesday so that hopefully by Thursday he'll be ready for a whole day! Today was his 2 hour slot and he was fine thank goodness, so I'm feeling more confident for Thursday! Please leave a comment below to let me know how you coped with leaving your baby and getting them to take the bottle! Good luck!

Swimming as a Muslimah

2013-08-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

Snorkelling in Puerto Rico

It is well known that swimming is considered by Muslims to be a good sport to learn as it is a sunnah of the prophet Muhammed (pbuh) and mentioned in his teachings (ahadith) along with archery and horse riding.

Unfortunately, many people seem to assume that partaking in sports refers to men only, in some 'Islamic' cultures women are banned from many activities including cycling and even horse riding. One of the reasons I'd prefer not to mention (!) but the most common one is that it isn't modest for a woman to be running around etc, despite the fact that it is well known that the Prophet (pbuh) used to race his wife Aisha.

Swimming in poses a particularly difficult problem for women living in non-muslim countries where swimming pools and beaches are not segregated and unless you're rich enough to have your own private pool the options are rather limited. Sure some places have women's only sessions but they're not always on at times or in places that are convenient. Here in Portsmouth I know of 2 such sessions. One isn't too far away but the pool is too shallow to dive and the sessions are very busy. The other is far away and pretty late in the evening. Neither of these include baby swimming lessons or are particularly suitable places to take a baby.

Fortunately there is another option. A few years ago I decided to stop making my life difficult and let my religion be a positive thing in my life rather than a limitation! At university I undertook SCUBA dive training, I've also been diving in Malaysia and snorkelling in Puerto Rico. I now attend a non-segregated public swimming pool with my baby. The pool is 5 minutes walk from my house and open every day, and they do baby lessons!

No I haven't decided to abandon my modesty and starting walking around half naked. I wear a full body swimsuit including a head covering, I have become a member of pool so I can attend during 'member only' sessions. Before about 10am this means you almost have the whole pool to yourself! This is not only so it's quieter for my baby and so there's less men around but also so I don't have to walk around staring at the floor to avoid looking at people's 'awrah' (the Arabic term which refers to the intimate parts of the body - for a man this is his navel to his knees and for a woman - in front of other women, it's more or less the same). Thank God the life guards are fully dressed lol.

Anyway, I've now been using the same swimsuit for a while and I'd really like to get another one, but despite the rising popularity of the 'burkini' it's harder than I thought! Now I know you're supposed to wear lose clothes but considering the fact that it's going to stick to you anyway once it's wet I prefer something a little more fitted and streamlined.

And while I know you're not supposed to be 'attracting attention' I (like most girls!) still like to look nice (this is a debate to be having another time!), and wearing a big wet sack isn't my idea of looking nice I'm afraid. I did find this one site which has some really nice swimwear including the ones in the pictures, but it's pretty expensive. If anyone knows a cheaper one please let me know! Otherwise let's hope they have a sale soon!

Unfortunately I hardly if ever see any other muslim women swimming and I'm wondering why? In fact, I also jog along the sea front quite often and hardly see any other muslim girls jogging either! Maybe I don't go often enough I'm not sure, but why is this? Anyone would think Islam doesn't permit women to exercise, let alone recommend it as a sunnah of the prophet (saw)!

It's OK for Muslim girls to swim...!! OK?

Update: interesting article I found here, which shows the founder of new line of 'modest' swimsuits giving a speech about the evolution of the swimsuit and how wearing a bikini affects how people see you, it's interesting and the swimsuits are lovely! Unfortunately not most enough for me but maybe for a ladies only swimming session...

Making it Happen

2013-08-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

Being mixed race a lot of people assume I speak another language apart from English. After all, my dad speaks Gujarati as well as English and so do most of my relatives.

Being married to a Puerto Rican, getting an A in GCSE, visiting Spain and having a half Puerto Rican baby you would have thought I'd know a little Spanish at least....

As a 'hijabi' I have been been spoken to in Arabic several times - the other person obviously assuming I'm Arab or speak the language... or at least some of it. Having studied the language in Morocco for 4 months and interacted with the local people in their language you would think I would be able to speak some... by now... since that was 5 years ago so I should have had time to get the point of holding a basic conversation by now... right???

Sadly very very wrong. Alas! My Arabic is terrible and my Spanish is worse. Yet I lament my lack of language skills on an almost weekly basis, I wish I'd grown up speaking Gujarati, I wish I'd done Spanish at A-level, I wish I'd kept up my Arabic after Morocco, I wish I'd taken advantage of maternity leave and practised another language while I didn't have work to preoccupy me....

Alhamdulillah my husband and I are sponsoring a child in Gaza. However him and his family don't speak any English.

We also, praise be to God, have a beautiful 7 month old little boy who is just starting to babble, starting to learn to speak...

As a Muslim I believe it is very important to be able to understand (at least in part) the Book that we are supposed to base our lives on, not just read it like a robot, at least, that's what I'm always telling people...

I also just re-wrote my C.V. and paused when I got to the part that said in my spare time I am 'interested in languages, particularly Arabic and Spanish'... it make me think... am I really?? Why do I keep wishing I could do things an saying I want to but not actually doing it?? The only phrase I can clearly remember in Arabic is how to say 'I want to learn Arabic' because I said it so many times.

I think I need to do one of two things. Give up on my goals and stop whining, accept that I only speak English and I will never speak anything else, accept that I'm obviously not interested deep down in ever speaking anything else or I would have done it by now (I'm 28 for heaven's sake!).

OR, stop whining and being so lazy, stop being a hypocrite and actually make some damn effort to achieve my goals and give credit to my words. I'm always telling my students to make more effort to achieve their goals... I'm always telling my baby when I see him trying to do something for the first time 'don't give up! you can do it if you try!!'

The other day my husband shared a video with me, which really inspired me. This gentleman has only been Muslim since 1998, he converted as an adult yet by 2008 he has memorised the entire Qur'an and you can see from the video that he's pretty fluent in Arabic (as far as I can tell!). Obviously I don't expect to be able to move to another country and study Arabic intensively like he did, and I'm going to have to leave Gujurati as a regret that the time to change has passed, but who do I want to be?

An inspiration and a role model to Isa? Do I want him to have the chance of growing up speaking more than one language, growing up understanding and learning from what he's saying in his salaah instead of just carrying out a set of exercises 5 times a day? Do I want him to be able to communicate with his great grandma in the same language? Or do I want their conversations to be limited to single works. Do I want him to ask me why he needs to bother learning another language or trying hard at anything for that matter when his own mum couldn't even make the effort to do it?

That shouldn't even be a question.

If anyone else has learnt another language as an adult or has taught their children another language (or simply achieved a big goal in your life that required a lot of effort) and has any tips or experiences to share please leave me a comment below. I need a plan to follow and some goals to set but I'm not sure where to start. Thanks in advance for any support! I need to follow my own advice - I can do it if I try!!!

above - I need to stop being the first two people!!

(How) Do you celebrate EID?

2013-07-28T15:28:00.000-07:00

The count down to Christmas each year seems to start months in advance. Trees get chopped down, decorations go up around in people's homes, in stores, in businesses, in the street, online even. Cards are prepared and posted, stockings and presents planned, purchased and wrapped, Christmas cake baked, wrapped and fed every few days, mince pies baked, Christmas special of Downton Abbey filmed (!), teachers plan and children take part in Christmas themed lessons at school, letters get written to Santa and fake beards and red suits are sold around the country...!

These are all the things I grew up with, even though I didn't really partake in the celebrations personally, except for a little bit when I was young due to having Christian family members, I was still caught up in the 'magic' of Christmas, seeing all the pretty lights and counting the trees in people's windows whenever we were out in the car.

Alhamdulillah I also have some nice memories of Eid, mainly from when I was little and my parents helped me in making it exciting. Decorating my house, giving presents, wearing new clothes, making sweet bags for my non muslim friends at school, going to the mosque for Eid prayers.... but living in the UK in a non-muslim community I've also spent Eid at work, at Uni, at School, or even when I've had time off and been to the mosque for Eid prayers I've come home to a boring undecorated house, not received or given any gifts and gone out for dinner with my family to a restaurant or the cinema... nothing very special considering that's the only thing we usually do when we go out! (well, not much choice around here apart from pubs and clubs, even tried bowling a few months ago but it felt like being in a night club!).

Alhamdulillah last Christmas Eve (!) I was blessed with a beautiful baby son and in less than 2 weeks it will be his very first Eid inshaAllah. So that got me thinking, how do I want him to experience Eid? As a mixed race English/Indian with an American Puerto Rican husband we don't really have any strong cultural traditions when it comes to Eid, so we're going to think of our own inshaAllah. I personally love Christmas cake so maybe I should make my own Eid version! Other than that I'm thinking blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast (my favourite!), Eid prayers of course, gifts (all or part of which must be hand made) and new clothes. But that's where I get stuck, after the Eid prayers and breakfast and gifts we don't seem to have much else to do for the rest of the day.

So what do YOU do to celebrate Eid? Is it a big event in your family, do you take a day off work to celebrate? Maybe you can give me some ideas!

Spaghetti and Gnocchi

2013-04-18T15:33:00.001-07:00

Since we've moved house and I've been on maternity leave it's become my job to get dinner prepared, and although I though I had quite a good variety of recipes (by recipes I mean my own made up recipes as I can hardly ever be bothered to follow an actual recipe) I've soon realised that my cooking is starting to 'all taste the same' and become the same 4 or 5 meals over and over. So I've decided make an effort to branch out and try something new!

Last night we had tomato and basil sauce with sugarsnap peas, spaghetti with olive oil, salt and black pepper and morzarella and tomato gnocchi. I'd never tried gnocchi before or even heard of them. They weren't bad (they like little potato balls with fillings) but not as nice as I was expecting unfortunately. Still, it was something different, and my husband seemed satisfied so that was good at least! Took me about 30mins in total to prepare.

Post Natal & Mommy and Me exercises (playlist)

2013-04-18T13:41:00.001-07:00

Love this playlist, I'm going to try and do some of these exercises with my baby every day! I've already done it a few times but was running out of ideas, so this is great. Isa loves it too so hopefully I'll start to get back in shape and have a happy baby!