HAGAR'S DAUGHTERS

Update on My Cancer Battle Plan

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 07:47:00 +0000

It's time for me to give an update. First, I'm still around and doing fairly well. My first round of chemo didn't go well at all. I think it was mostly due to being afraid and newly diagnosed. I was scheduled for 8 cycles of chemo (4 dose densed of AC - adrimyacin / cytoxin and 4 taxotere). I made it through 2 cycles and quit. In fact I ran away, left the state and went to my parents. While there I had high dose vitamin c infusions. But I was sick and weak for months following those treatments.

In mid-January my breast surgeon convinced me to continue with medical treatments of some kind. I was going to any way, I just needed things to slow down just a little so that I could make decisions that were best for me. In May 2011 I had a bilateral mastectomy and so far have chosen no reconstruction. I'm happy with this decision. I'm also continuing chemo (taxotere / cytoxin). Although this round is going better, there are still painful side effects and the neuropathy in my hands and feet have become worse. I plan to finish chemo (half way to the end).

It's the mind control that cancer diagnosis seems to have that I'm fighting daily. It's not stronger than I am. Besides, I'm in remission and I'm using nutrition, supplementation, exercise, meditation, visualization, and prayer to keep recurrence away.

I have plans to live a long, joyous, healthy life. Just thought you should know.
(haven't proofread - I apologize until I get to it.)

Mom and Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 02:01:00 +0000

My parents have been married 45 years and are behaving like high school sweethearts. Well, they were high school sweethearts. They are on the phone with each other all the time and my dad talks warmly about my mom all day. They are missing each other while my dad is with me helping and supporting my husband and me while I go through chemo and my mom is home. Those two make me giggle.

I am so enjoying spending time with my dad. It reminds me of my childhood when my dad would take my siblings and I places and make up silly songs. He made sure his kids had a great time. He's there with me during chemo treatments making sure I don't have too rough of a time. If I'm awake he is telling stories or jokes. I'm so glad he's here with me.

It's getting close to cycle 2 of chemo and my anxiety is going through the roof. My dad prayed for me last night as my fever went to 100.5 and I thought I had to go to ER. He's organized the garage and my office allowing me room to create a sacred space. He's attended Taize prayer with me. He's such a wonderful dad.

Hello...Again

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 23:43:00 +0000

It's me again...

I thought I'd left this blog behind, but I think it's time (with a little prodding from a person I hold near and dear) to revisit it. I'm a little unsure about whether to write about my latest battle. I'm sure it won't hurt and just maybe it will help.

Here goes: For years I've lived with, worked with, loved with, and struggled with the autoimmune disease Lupus. I've had my ups and downs with this illness and believe it or not I've learned so much. But nothing has prepared me physically for the battle I'm going through right now. On Sept 9, 2010 I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (breast cancer). About 2 weeks later, I was diagnosed with the subtype of Triple Negative Breast Cancer.

Time Line: 2010

Aug 25th - felt a lump in right breast (small in size & mobile)
Sept 3rd - Breast Thermogram
Sept 8th - Mammogram, Ultrasound, Core Needle Biopsy
Sept 9th - Breast Cancer Diagnosis
Sept 23rd - Lumpectomy with Sentinel Node Biopsy (clear)
Sept 30th - Breast Cancer is Triple Negative subtype
Oct 11th - PET/CT scan clear
Oct 13th - Tested for BRCA gene mutation
Oct 22nd - Positive for BRCA-2 gene mutation
Oct 23rd - Decided on bilateral mastectomy & oopherectomy (after chemo)
Oct 26th - Port placed in arm for chemo infusion
Oct 27th - Chemo begins / 8 cycles once every 14 days

I'll keep an e-journal of what's going on with me and I plan to relay any information that may be helpful. I must add that my life has been in a whirlwind for over 2 months.

Farewell....

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 02:39:00 +0000

I've enjoyed my blogcation so much that I've decided to say farewell. I think I have social media overload. I barely check my email anymore. It's been fun, but it's time for me to move on. Thank you to everyone who has read this blog and commented. I appreciate your time and your indulgence.

This summer I took time to re-focus and regroup. Most importantly I was able to rest and relax. On to my next adventure.

photo uploaded to flickr by gingerpig2000.

Summer Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 06:37:00 +0000

"Summer breeze makes me feel fine, blowin' through the jasmine in my mind"... (Seals & Crofts)

I'm taking the remainder of the summer to vacate this blog, the news, and TV. I'm going to read some mystery novels, visit museums and art galleries, and go ride the train.

See ya later.

Pondering...

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 05:29:00 +0000

Since I've been on medical leave from my job I've had time to think about how much of a toll my job has taken on me since I began 15 years ago. I don't really know where the time went, but I doubt if I can manage another 15 years of stress. Besides, when I began working as a social worker it was only supposed to be a 3 year stint. Steady income, great benefits, the illusion of job security all got in the way. No wonder my colleagues chuckled when I voiced my plans to leave in 3 years.

I'm once again pondering just what do I really want to do. The answer is: I don't really know. I only know what I don't want to do. That is empty, frustrating, and pathetic. It's unacceptable. I want to fill that negative space with a positive response. I want to know what it is that I would like to do.

I know what I've enjoyed in the past and what has given me fulfillment and purpose. However, I have changed. In addition, I feel compartmentalized and for me that's never a good thing. It takes too much work for me to live this way. I feel incomplete. Although I am in no way ready to begin working again so there is no real hurry. Maybe I'm feeling this way because I haven't worked in 7 months.

I was given a gently reminder that it is good to rest, to re-evaluate, to regroup. Working myself to an early grave or to the point of collapse is NOT an honorable quality. I'm not in that camp anymore, but I do have scars from my previous mindset and lifestyle.

I'm once again considering what do I enjoy, what brings me fulfillment so much so that I would do it free. I just don't know. Right now I would be happy to be able to read a book again. When I ask what would I do for no salary, the answer is lying on a beach in the Mediterranean and reading.

Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:42:00 +0000

I hesitated to write this because quite a few have written so eloquently about the sham that BET called a tribute to Michael Jackson. I'm writing it any way because I feel ceremonially unclean. I need to do penance, fast, or at least detox after sitting through that. I had a long, hot shower before going to bed, but somehow that didn't do it for me; it didn't remove the grime that feels left behind. I'm not trying to be humorous.

I watched the BET Awards expecting a real tribute to MJ. I was prepared to hear his songs as interpreted by other artists. After all weren't we told that the show had been revamped? Weren't we promised a show in honor of MJ. I continued watching because I just knew a tribute was going to happen. It never did.

I expected: to hear only MJ's songs, to be told about his humanitarian efforts and accomplishments, to be reminded of his triumphs even his torment, if you will. I expected to laugh and cry, to sing and dance, to stop and think. I wanted to mourn the passing of this cultural icon with the world while celebrating through his music.

What I was given: mockery, coonery, and just chaos.

I don't understand why egos weren't checked at the door; why producers didn't produce a different program that would take us all on a journey from MJ's childhood as a singer to his adulthood as an artist and humanitarian. Why the need to keep the same show in place and throw some random MJ material in there? I'm still confused and angry. I'm more saddened that MJ would be dishonored in this way. I don't want to believe it.

What angers me is that I know BET is capable of producing such a show that would have lead the world in a celebration of a musical genius, the greatest entertainer of our time. (I recall that a few years ago I stumbled upon a tribute to Stevie Wonder that was broadcast on BET. It was wonderful, beautifully done.)

What befuddles me is why did I expect anything better than what BET's history and track record? Isn't that one definition of insanity, expecting different results from the same methods?

What frustrates me even more so is that those performers and producers who said that MJ greatly influenced them only paid lip service to MJ. They did not show him any respect by being on their best behavior, by laying aside the need to promote themselves for one night. Honor and respected demanded that the music universe stop!

I have repented for my participation in this tomfoolery. I watched it. Yes, I viewed the show expecting uplift while reminding myself to not expect too much. I ask the Jackson family to forgive me. I must also forgive myself for giving away 3 hours of precious time that I can never get back. A commenter wrote on Twitter, "I wish BET had died and Michael Jackson was doing a tribute to it."

My condolences.

Michael Joseph Jackson: 1958 - 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 01:04:00 +0000

I pay tribute to MJ with words from one his songs: Gone Too Soon

Like a comet
Blazing 'cross the evening sky
Gone too soon

Like a rainbow
Fading in the twinkling of an eye
Gone too soon

Shiny and sparkly
And splendidly bright
Here one day
Gone one night

Like the loss of sunlight
On a cloudy afternoon
Gone too soon

Like a castle
Built upon a sandy beach
Gone too soon

Like a perfect flower
That is just beyond your reach
Gone too soon

Born to amuse
To inspire to delight
Here one day
Gone one night

Like a sunset
Dying with the rising of the moon
Gone too soon
Gone too soon

video credit: mjdyfan on youtube

Births and Rebirths: Happy Birthday To Me

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:15:00 +0000

June 23rd was my birthday. The day was just beautiful with clear, blue skies so I decided to spend time at the LA Zoo. (I like the zoo, okay. So stop questioning why - LOL.)

While The Husband and I were quietly watching, photographing, and reading about the animals, it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks: These animals are confined and they are out of their natural habitats. I've known this all my life of course, but on yesterday "I KNEW IT," especially after watching a male zebra trying to "mack" 1 of 3 female. He was trying to run around in this enclosed space. How is this ethical? For my viewing pleasure living creatures are imprisoned, but does this mean I'll never go back to the zoo - probably not. I feel so relaxed after my day there. That's a dilemma for me.

Anyway, my visit to the zoo has me reflecting on life: being or feeling caged in by others' expectations and by one's own. A zebra is still a zebra whether its roaming free or captured in a zoo, but its not living to its fullest in the zoo. The zebra can't possibly fulfill it highest potential even if in the wild it would be another animal's dinner. Now someone may say that the captured zebra's destiny is to be a zoo animal - maybe, I'll concede, but I'll still posit that it is not living its fullest as a zebra. Maybe it can live fully as a caged zebra.

No more metaphors for now. The take away lesson for me was to live fully in whatever condition or place that I am. It's up to me to decide what living "fully" means. I would like to share what I'm thinking in later essays. In the meantime: Happy Birthday to Me!

Photo uploaded to Flickr by Jessica N. Diamond

On Going Home

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:16:00 +0000

I've been giving much thought lately to going home. If someone had told me 16 years ago that I'd even consider moving back to the South I would have laughed in that person's face. After the Great Flood of 2005 I'd truly written the possibility of moving back to Louisiana off my to-do list. But times have changed. I have changed.

Now I have relocation on my mind - how to do it, when to do it, do I really want to do it. Truth be told I have yet to settle here in Southern California. I always feel like I'm holding my breath waiting on the "what's next." I'm tired. As true as that it is, it's not the only reason I'm thinking of going home.

There are still things I want to accomplish and I think I want to do those things at home. I need a home base and there's no place like home. So I guess I want to be in comfortable, familiar surroundings as I step outside my comfort zone into the unfamiliar.

I have no romantic notions about going home. None. It's ugly down there. Yes, I said it. New Orleans is an ugly place right now: physically, geographically, politically, financially, psychologically, and emotionally. The post-traumatic stress disorder that persons are experiencing is off the charts. Access to mental health resources is scarce and those who are actively seeking the much needed help seems even more scarce.

I need to be closer to family since my medical condition doesn't seem to be improving any time soon. I understand that caregiver burnout is real and The Husband needs support just as much as I do. I don't plan to become a burden on my family nor do I expect them to take care of me, but emotionally it will help.

The Husband and I are in the midst of planning our return to our home state.

May Is Lupus Awareness Month

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Fri, 08 May 2009 00:25:00 +0000

May is Lupus Awareness Month. I can write about facts and figures about this autoimmune disease, but that information can be read at Lupus Foundation of America. While anyone can be affected by this illness, lupus affects black women 3 times more so than our white counterpart. And it's at a time when women are young and at their peak.

Can you imagine the prime of your life being spent racked in pain until you can't breathe or laugh without hurting and being so tired that you can't stand up to brush your teeth? I have many days of getting out of bed going to the shower only to crawl back in bed because I'm wiped out.

No pity party, that's not why I'm writing. Here is the thing: If someone you know has a chronic illness, syndrome, etc that causes them pain and fatigue, please DO NOT offer them advice on how to get better or healed. DO NOT tell them to exercise, move, or get some sun. DO NOT assume that they are "better" or not in pain if they are laughing or smiling or telling jokes or if they are managing to go about their normal, daily routines. Please for heaven's sake DO NOT compare one person's coping skills or pain management with another's. Unless you have chronic pain and fatigue you really DO NOT know what you are talking about - so just shut up and be supportive by being there.

We really don't want to hear your complaints about being tired because there is no comparison, at least I don't. Really. I don't mind you talking about how tired you feel, but not in comparing chronic fatigue and being tired. Get some rest, change your lifestyle, do something. Another thing: If I mention that some part of me hurts and then I move on to a different topic, it's usually because I've repressing my pain and I need to release it so that I can move on. It's not going anywhere I know and I'm not complaining either.

Please, please, please don't ever allow these words to pass your lips, "You don't look sick." To me that's equivalent to hate speech. The bottom line is lupus (SLE) can and does kill. It causes kidney problems, heart problems, brain inflammation, just to name a few complications. It's real. There is no cure. The medications that are prescribed have serious side effects.

Another frustrating aspect of having this dreadful disease is that many times lupus goes undiagnosed for years. Persons with lupus are told by their doctors that the are just depressed, stressed, or exaggerating - "it's all in your head." I wonder if lupus affected as many men as women or as many whites as women of color would the medical establishment's response be the same.

Let's work for a cure, donate to continue research, and promote alternative treatment options.

Girl, Get Your Mind Right

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Sun, 03 May 2009 20:33:00 +0000

It's the place that most black women avoid like the plague: the therapist's office. Mental health services is one of the most underutilized, if not the most, type of health care services. Black people as a rule refuse to take care of our emotional beings, our psychological selves, our mental health. It's time to break that rule and make haste to a qualified, culturally competent, professional therapist.

I can take care of myself, I'll work through it. I'm not discussing my business with a complete stranger. The counselor probably needs counseling. This type of talk is probably familiar to you. It happens all the time and has become ingrained in our psyche. Let's turn the corner and become active, not reactive, in saving ourselves. There is a stigma on mental illness that will not go away any time soon, but one does not have to be mental ill to benefit from professional counseling.

As a group blacks tend to neglect their physical well being by not having regular physical exams. I realize that there is a large number of uninsured and under-insured which has its consequences such as using hospital emergency departments as primary health care source or using government / public hospitals. I also acknowledge disparate treatment by health care professionals. Your suspicion is correct in that blacks are not the focus of research studies unless it is regarding a negative. Change has been slow, but it is changing. Black folks, the consumers that we are, should become greater consumers of things that will help us - counseling services being one of them. In fact, professional therapy is an investment that pays great dividends.

Middle class blacks are virtually absent from the counseling office. Many times blacks from lower socioeconomic class participant in counseling usually because they are required to by a system - court system, child protective services, etc. Families and individuals who do not come in contact with these systems rarely seek therapy by their own volition. Chances are that means you, yes you the one who is reading this very essay.

Well it's time to just do it. I know you're okay, there's nothing wrong. You have no fears, you know the direction in life you want to go. I understand you have a wonderful sistah circle. Yes, yes your pastor is there for you. But you need to go anyway. Why? What you will find in a professional setting is a safe space to unload life's burdens, secrets that you think you shouldn't tell or you couldn't, a place to share your dreams no matter how far fetched that may seem. It's a place without judgement and you probably wouldn't care anyway because you don't socialize with your therapist. It's your time. If you have made major decisions in your life or had a major life event - career, marital status, relocating, birth, death of loved one - therapy is a good place to be. What is it that we fear? If there has been a life stressor (distress) then therapy is a good place to be. I am shocked and saddened by the large number of persons who have not, will not get therapy after surviving Hurricane Katrina. They are walking time bombs. Post-traumatic stress is real and it does not go away!

I will not discount the value of a support system. Your girls can see you through life's worst and will celebrate with you during the highlights. Your pastor (spiritual guide) can help you weather a crisis, but most ministers are ill-equipped counselors and are not trained therapists. Keep your support system intact, but do not neglect your mental well being. Your therapist is not a person to give you advice, but instead will guide you as you find solutions, alternatives, plans of action. She will force you to delve into dark places that you want to ignore; those events and memories that inform your actions and behaviors. Your therapist will help you to break strongholds that keep you stuck. And before anyone counters and start quoting scripture (church folks you know what I'm talking about), there are therapists who integrate spirituality in their practice. (My therapist and I pray after each session.)

Black women we too often suffer in silence while wearing our pain like a badge of courage. It's time to shatter that lie from hell, that evil mantra that seeks to keep us in bondage: Suffering is redemptive. [We suffer for Kingdom's sake.] It's a cop out to dealing with what ails us.

Resource: Association of Black Psychologists (ABPsi). Go to their website to view a list of licensed pyschologists.

*This essay is an introduction to a series entitled "The Renewing of Our Minds."

Old School Friday has moved...

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Fri, 01 May 2009 08:05:00 +0000

Old School Friday music meme has moved to a blog dedicated to just OSF. It's called Friday's Musical Interlude (oldskoolfriday.blogspot.com).

I haven't been posting much here and I didn't want Hagar's Daughters to turn into a music blog so I created a second blog dedicated to music.

See you there on Fridays.

Old School Friday: Why Was This Song Ever Made?

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 01:50:00 +0000

This was a huge hit in 1977. Debbie Boone covered this song, but instead of singing about a person she dedicated it to God, which is wonderful. Even so this song leans on my nerve - always have. "You Light Up My Life."

BTW Old School Friday meme will post to a blog dedicated just for it beginning May 1st. Friday's Musical Interlude (oldskoolfriday.blogspot.com)

Other Old School Friday participants (link)

video uploaded to youtube by bhjsa20

Old School Friday: The Choice Is Mine

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 07:42:00 +0000

It' blogger's choice this OSF. I'll keep it light with Average White Band - "School Boy Crush." It makes me dance. This song brings back fun memories of my childhood. (AWB starts playing at 1:12)

To check out other participants go to OBW.

Something To Think About...

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:26:00 +0000

Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.

Sun-tzu - Art of War (Strategic Assessments)
Chinese general & military strategist (~400 BC)

Image originally uploaded to Flickr by Aileron.

OSF: If I Were A Boy/Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:23:00 +0000

This theme threw me for a loop. The first thing that came to mind was: If I were a boy I'd pee standing up. TMI? Maybe. Still no song came to mind. Then I thought maybe this theme was about androgynous looking singers or about songs that are difficult to determine if it's a male or female singing the song. I'm still not sure, but I decided to take a different approach and I chose "A Boy Named Sue."

OSF: Take This Job And...

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 07:01:00 +0000

After a tough week of seeing and hearing some of the evilest things that a person in his or her right mind wouldn't think that a human being could inflict on another human...sometimes I'd like to "Zoom." Protecting children from those who are supposed to love them is hard work. You can imagine that it doesn't take much to lean on my last nerve at times.

Hug your kids, your god children, your grand kids, and have a great weekend.

Are You Scared?

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 01:57:00 +0000

That's the question Baby Brother asked me about two days ago. I knew he was on to something when my breath was caught in my throat. You see, no one has ever asked me that in reference to this illness that plagues me. In 25 years no one has asked me if I were afraid. I've had people, relatives in fact, laugh in my face when I've mentioned that I am ill. Before passing judgment, just remember my relatives are no different than millions who think of invisible disabilities and illness as nonexistent or considered sick and/or disabled persons as weak. I guess that's one reason I've masked many of my symptoms and the intensity of my pain.

But back to the question at hand: "Are you scared? I mean do you sometimes feel afraid when you think about your health?" That's exactly what Baby Brother said as he openly wept. Although truth can feel suffocating because at times the heaviness of it will take your breath for a minute, but when you think about it's the lies that will kill you. The shortness of breath is actually you hyperventilating as you try to take in all the oxygen you can while truth is staring you in the face so that you can then inhale and hold your breath a little while longer trying to mask the fear, pain, or confusion, and the feeling of vulnerability.

Are you scared? Am I? Simply answered: Yes, I am. I am afraid as I watch my cognitive function noticeable deteriorate. There are so many moments during regular conversations that I have to take long pauses between words because I don't know what I was saying, what I want to say, or what was said to me. When I speak there are times that I question whether I am being coherent or if I'm rambling. For a preaching woman this is just devastating.

I'm scared as I notice my vocabulary going downhill and my ability to engage in the subtext of an article, a social problem, or situation. Even when I recognize it and understand it, I may not be able to articulate it. That's heartbreaking for me, a woman with a doctorate in psychology where it's all about the subtext, the unconscious, the unspoken.

Am I scared? Oh yes I am especially knowing that lupus can change its course at any time without warning and impact any major organ including heart, kidneys, lungs, skin, and brain. Speaking of the brain. I currently have brain inflammation (cerebritis) or brain vessel inflammation. I believe it is subsiding a bit because I'm not getting dizzy as often and I can tell you my name, birth date, and address without stopping to think about the answers. My headaches aren't as excruciatingly painful nor are they daily.

Although I'm fatigued all the time, I'm improving. It's a long, slow process, but such is life sometimes. There are days (nights mainly) when I want to give up and leave this world, but I press on. Now, I hope I haven't depressed anyone as was not my intention. I just wanted to share how I was caught off guard as I journey toward a life of authenticity. As afraid as I sometimes am of living a life with lupus, I'm even more fearful of not living a full and true life. I fear becoming entrapped in the ways of consumerism and materialism. I fear a life of "faking it til making it." I don't want to fake anything. I want to be and to become.

Photo by ia7mad originally uploaded to Flickr.

It's OSF, Baby!

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 07:41:00 +0000

This week's theme is songs with "baby" in the title.

Old School Friday: I Heart OSF!

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 08:01:00 +0000

Songs with "heart" in the title: We Party Hearty - LTD featuring Jeffery Osborne

A Fabulous Award

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:45:00 +0000

Regina thinks I'm fabulous! Thanks for sharing this award with me. I am to list 5 "addictions" or as I think of it - things that I can't get enough of - LOL. Here goes:

1. Internet

2. HGTV

3. Potato Chips (I even buy organic chips.)

4. Books (One can never have too many.)

5. Family Guy (Yes, the cartoon as inappropriate as it sometimes is.)

Anyone else who chooses to share in the fun list your 5 "can't seem to do without."

Wordless Wednesday: Imposition of Ashes

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 08:03:00 +0000

Photo by dennysmagikland uploaded from news.co.tt

Will The POTUS Please Stand Up!

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:56:00 +0000

Hi Everyone. Just thought I'd update anyone who may want to know what's going on with me and my health. I am not only having a fibromyalgia flare, but also a lupus flare up as well. As a result, the recovery process is more difficult and painful.

I miss blogging. I have things I want to discuss, but find difficult to do. I have trouble keeping focused and sometimes articulating what I want to say. I tire very easily and some things are emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. I want so desperately to discuss my perception of President Obama's image, behavior, and his apparent naivete; this is in addition to my response to his stimulus plan. Khadija has an insightful discussion currently at her blog Muslim Bushido.

I will say this: Anyone who has not moved beyond "we have a black man in the White House" I admonish you to GET OVER IT already! More than ever it seems that more people have followed an election. Take this time to continue to contact lawmakers by cell phone, email, snail mail, and by personally visiting his or her office if you can.

I realize it is very early in his presidency and I know it takes time to adjust, but President Obama has to own the presidency - wear it, talk it, feel it, live it. He also has to demand and expect respect that comes with being POTUS. But he won't demand what he thinks he doesn't deserve.

We, the people, need to know that he knows who he is and that he has the confidence to deal with congress. It feels as if he is still the junior senator from Illinois who is trying to convince folks that he wants to be president and that he is capable of being president. It appears to me that even President Obama can't believe he is in the White House. If this continues, his presidency is doomed without even getting to his policies and ideologies. If no one respects him as president, then how will he get anything accomplished? This is just as important as getting the economy going. Someone needs to tell him and be brutally honest because at this point I'm thinking that Mrs. Obama should have the office.

Old School Friday: Original v. Remake

noreply@blogger.com (Hagar's Daughter) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 08:43:00 +0000

Beatles: And I Love Her (1964)

Esther Phillips: And I Love Him (1965)

If you have time check out Esther Phillips' remake of Gil Scott-Heron's original song "Home Is Where The Hatred Is," which is a chilling account of drug addiction; a struggle Ms. Phillips knew first hand. Her vocals do not disappoint. It's sounds as if he had written that song just for Esther.