The biggest headlines In the littlest format with a dash of zen var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-348146-5"); pageTracker._trackPageview(); Tumblr (3.0; @haikews)http://www.haikews.com/<p>Funnyman Franken <br/>Actually wins a seat <br/>in Senate. For <a href="http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/minnesota-board-certifies-al-franken/story.aspx?guid=%7B202F04B2-3882-44A4-9EEE-32881A2BC754%7D&dist=msr_1">now</a>.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/iQ8FJpsWnW0" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/iQ8FJpsWnW0/68602999http://www.haikews.com/post/68602999Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:51:17 -0500Al FrankenPoliticsSenateMinnesotaNorm ColemanRecounthttp://www.haikews.com/post/68602999<p>Tim Kaine appointed<br/>DNC <a href="http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/new-dnc-chief-signals-a-change-2009-01-05.html">chairman</a>.  Hey, Tim!<br/>Show us your best scream!</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/B2t2ml2_VBU" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/B2t2ml2_VBU/68601182http://www.haikews.com/post/68601182Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:42:05 -0500Tim KaineGovernorVirginiaDNCHoward DeanPoliticsObamahttp://www.haikews.com/post/68601182<p>We always knew that <br/> Reading the news is for <a href="http://marumushi.com/apps/newsmap/newsmap.cfm">squares</a>, <br/> But this seals the deal.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/PXdUhMJDPgQ" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/PXdUhMJDPgQ/65671575http://www.haikews.com/post/65671575Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:51:32 -0500http://www.haikews.com/post/65671575<p>Cheney tells Rahm he</p> <p>Should keep the Veep under</p> <p>Control - <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/18/cheney-to-rahm-keep-your_n_152001.html">should we be laughing</a>?</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/ub4EwDow-JE" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/ub4EwDow-JE/65647045http://www.haikews.com/post/65647045Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:50:57 -0500http://www.haikews.com/post/65647045<p>Graceful under fire,</p> <p>Our presidential dodger</p> <p><a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2206779/pagenum/all/">Caps his legacy</a>.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/3xcCXQA-DSw" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/3xcCXQA-DSw/65644531http://www.haikews.com/post/65644531Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:33:03 -0500http://www.haikews.com/post/65644531<p>People prefer web <br/>to sex by healthy margin <br/>That is <a href="http://www.monstersandcritics.com/tech/news/article_1449026.php/Intel_study_Half_of_US_women_prefer_internet_to_sex_">not</a> healthy.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/ednWRKn25D0" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/ednWRKn25D0/65600348http://www.haikews.com/post/65600348Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:32:00 -0500internetsexintelresearchhttp://www.haikews.com/post/65600348<p>Soft drinks may get a <br/>hard <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/17/nyregion/17sugartax.html?em">tax</a> in New York.  Pays for <br/>fat Sabbathia.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/oB1nS1bii2A" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/oB1nS1bii2A/65600011http://www.haikews.com/post/65600011Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:29:00 -0500taxesnew yorkyankeessodapopgovernorsobesityhttp://www.haikews.com/post/65600011<p>Now that all of those <br/>Annoying reporters left <br/>Let’s re-clog the <a href="http://www.dailytech.com/PostOlympics+China+Turns+Its+Back+on+Internet+Censorship+Promises/article13716.htm">tubes</a>.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/YS8vRHG4K-k" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/YS8vRHG4K-k/65599741http://www.haikews.com/post/65599741Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:28:00 -0500chinainternetolympicsreporterscensorshiptotalitarianismtubeswebbastardshttp://www.haikews.com/post/65599741<p>Gondola crashes <br/>at <a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gMOapoJex9NqARYdCGQam_-Lfnew">Whistler</a>.  Canada, where <br/>is your Mitt Romney.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/FfAsle2G7Gg" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/FfAsle2G7Gg/65599553http://www.haikews.com/post/65599553Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:26:00 -0500whistlerolympicsMitt Romneygondolaskiingresortcanadahttp://www.haikews.com/post/65599553<p>Does anyone else <br/>Think cheap oil is bad?  Oh, <br/>Hello there <a href="http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/oil-futures-fall-8-after/story.aspx?guid=%7BFA7024FB-88C8-4699-899A-27103F7222D3%7D&dist=msr_84">OPEC</a>.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/S7aYU1I5uDo" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/S7aYU1I5uDo/65599154http://www.haikews.com/post/65599154Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:24:00 -0500OPECOILMarketmoneyfuelhttp://www.haikews.com/post/65599154<p>Neener Neener says <br/>Blagojevich.  Court says you <br/>Cannot <a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hVNAcA-xtCA6PKQ8h5s7dBlD_BKwD9553TU01">impeach</a> me.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/NcpFlrTupNE" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/NcpFlrTupNE/65598690http://www.haikews.com/post/65598690Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:20:00 -0500BlagojevichIllinoisCorruptionimpeachmentcourtgovernorshttp://www.haikews.com/post/65598690<p><a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20081216/ap_tr_ge/as_travel_brief_thailand_airasia_free_seats">Now safe</a> to visit</p> <p>The Land of Smiles - just don’t bring</p> <p>An <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/10/emeconomistem-pulled-from_n_149829.html">Economist</a>.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/IsjGR6S3sOk" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/IsjGR6S3sOk/65484839http://www.haikews.com/post/65484839Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:28:57 -0500http://www.haikews.com/post/65484839<p>Two trillion bucks<br/>Go <a href="http://money.cnn.com/2008/12/15/real_estate/underwater_borrowers_near_12million/index.htm">poof</a>.  The implications<br/>To be determined</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/7_LCp6uEIEs" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/7_LCp6uEIEs/65267334http://www.haikews.com/post/65267334Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:49:10 -0500zillowreal estatecnnmoneybailoutfailhttp://www.haikews.com/post/65267334<p>Wheelchair <a href="http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2008/12/stephen-hawking.html">genius </a>says<br/>Lookout for Borg. Beware the<br/>Assimilation</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/hYvdKtcaY4w" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/hYvdKtcaY4w/65264802http://www.haikews.com/post/65264802Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:30:32 -0500Stephen HawkingAliensBorgSpacePhysicshttp://www.haikews.com/post/65264802<p>People that live in <br/>Blown up houses, cast thee not<br/>The first payback <a href="http://english.aljazeera.net/news/middleeast/2008/12/2008121618330140949.html">shoe</a></p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/1zdAVyI1-QA" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/1zdAVyI1-QA/65221281http://www.haikews.com/post/65221281Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:42:00 -0500http://www.haikews.com/post/65221281<p>Rod Blagojavich<br/>Good at being <a href="http://rod%20blagojavich%20good%20at%20being%20corrupt%20and%20having%20a%20weird%20name/">corrupt</a> and<br/>Having a weird name.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/LV9AL-qTBag" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/LV9AL-qTBag/65220903http://www.haikews.com/post/65220903Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:39:40 -0500Corruptionillinoisgovernorsobamahttp://www.haikews.com/post/65220903<p>Benchmark Interest <br/> Rate cut near <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/17/business/economy/17fed.html">zero</a>.  Finance <br/> Poetry is bad.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/dy2LzrRRFBc" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/dy2LzrRRFBc/65220616http://www.haikews.com/post/65220616Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:37:40 -0500http://www.haikews.com/post/65220616<p>The Supreme Court is<br/> In the tank for Obama<br/> Dirty <a href="http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/12/obama-birth-1.html">foreigner</a></p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/nNZOCA_iwjs" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/nNZOCA_iwjs/63785832http://www.haikews.com/post/63785832Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:12:28 -0500ObamaConspiracy TheoriesSupreme CourtRadical PoliticsforeignersFear Mongeringhttp://www.haikews.com/post/63785832<p>Only give the money<br/> To companies that won’t <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/americasDealsNews/idUSTRE4B77L920081208#">fail?</a><br/> That sounds too simple.</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/b2JC6X9n9M4" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/b2JC6X9n9M4/63785022http://www.haikews.com/post/63785022Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:06:00 -0500autobailoutGMChryslergovernmentsocialismhttp://www.haikews.com/post/63785022<p><br/>Now nothing makes sense<br/>Today the US Exports<br/><a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hz0C0SXcxgP0NxzlqGA_EI57FBkQD94R4R6O0">Rice</a> to India</p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Haikews/~4/mpEyTQlHFpw" height="1" width="1"/>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Haikews/~3/mpEyTQlHFpw/62777052http://www.haikews.com/post/62777052Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:14:55 -0500http://www.haikews.com/post/62777052