halting moments

soundtrack for the season's change

2010-09-19T16:46:00.000-06:00

you can feel the change in the weather. Autumn is coming. The nights are cooler and the sun seems to hang much more lazy as the afternoon's get late. i love summer and mostly wish it would never end. But I enjoy this time of summer. Still warm but you can feel the change. Nothing is more comforting than a warm hoodie and hot coffee on a crisp morning. I also notice my music preferences change with the weather. In the summer I find myself listening to the more poppy, catchy, drive with the windows down summer music. Fall lends itself to slower, warmer, and more nostalgic, with upbeat hints. As an homage to the coming season I am sharing my current ipod playlist. They are all downloadable. click on the links provided.

Far Oaks Their Arms (Autumn Mix)

The Equatics- No Sunshine

Rocky Votalato- What Waited For Me

Darwin Deez- Radar Detector (xaphoon jones remix)

Sigur Ros- Inni Mer Syngur Vitleysyngur

The Mynabirds- Let the Record Go

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.- Nothing But Our Love

Florence + The Machine- Addicted to Love

Dan Auerbach (of the Black Keys)- The Prowl

Local Natives- Camera Talk

Beirut- A Sunday Smile

David Bazan (Vic Chesnut)- Waited For You All My LIfe

so you want to start a revolution??

2010-07-20T09:43:00.002-06:00

I have mentioned my friends frankie and john on here before. They work alongside a lot of awesome folks with a grassroots organization called Energize Clinton County. I worked with frankie and john back at starbucks in ohio for years and became dear friends with them. My last trip home i got to catch up with them a bit over coffee and see how things were going down in Wilmington. It was soo cool hearing all the awesome things they are doing to change their world at home. It is inspiring. So many of us want to go to africa or asia to change the world...they went home. sometimes going home isn't the exciting move, but it's the right one. Cheers friends. Here's to saving the world, growing vegetables, and never forgetting where you come from. I am proud to call you friends.

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip
these guys got recognized at the VH1 do something awards last night. You know just a little get together with megan fox...whatever.

bicycle tricycle

2010-07-14T11:21:00.000-06:00

senor macias is fixing the bike today. it has been a long time coming and honestly should have happened 3 months ago. we are doing the wednesday night cruiser ride tonight which i both anticipate and realize the irresponsibility of said event. (the ride ends at 1am...by the time i get home i will soon be having to wake up for work)But let's be honest..nothing beats hot july denver nights on two wheels...so cheers to the summer....cheers to the cruiser ride...cheers to good friends and irresponsibility

ask the questions that have no answers...

2010-07-13T12:03:00.000-06:00

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front
Wendell Berry
Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.

And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.

When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.

Listen to carrion — put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.

Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go.

Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

summer sun

2010-06-26T16:48:00.000-06:00

i love the smell of chlorine and sunscreen on your skin. i love the feeling of cold air conditioning after a long day in the sun. i love the sleepyness that sun+ water creates especially when mixed with a generous helping of iron and wine.

Update

2010-06-08T14:23:00.000-06:00

Hi all. I wanted to take a moment and touch base with you. As you know in March I chose to stay on another year with YWAM Denver. This was a stretch for me as the past year I have not had the support I have needed to take care of my basic bills. (Right now I am receiving 246$ a month. My monthly expsenses are about 400-450$ a month) I sent out a newsletter asking people to pray about financially supporting me in 2010. I got some response and raised almost an extra 100 dollars a month. This was not quite where I needed to be, but definitely a great help. This weekend I came to find out that about 90$ of that support had fallen through. With that said I wanted to send a special request out to friends and family. I am looking for fifteen people to give 10$ a month for the next year. You can give in a few different ways. If you are looking to receive a tax credit for your charitable donation please make the checks out to YWAM Denver and attach a note with my name on it. You can mail it to 12750 W. 63rd Ave. Arvada, CO 80004. If you are not interested in the tax deduction you can mail checks directly to me at the above address or give via PayPal...

if you choose to give via paypal you can return to this site monthly and give, or give in one lump sum. The button will be located at the very bottom of this page for ongoing use. Thank you all so much for partnering with me. There will be more info on here in the next days and weeks about this quarter, our outreaches, and life at YWAM Denver. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Laurie

a helping hand

2010-06-06T09:59:00.000-06:00

I hate asking for help. this may be a product of my independence or my stubbornness or just my personality, but i hate asking for help. I have been living on support for the past 17 months. People donate money to me because they believe in and want to partner with me in what I am doing. That alone is a humbling experience. There are a lot of lessons I have learned taking this life path. One that is becoming more and more apparent to me is the lesson of interdependence. Wikipedia defines interdependence as the following...

Interdependence is a dynamic of being mutually and physically responsible to, and sharing a common set of principles with, others. This concept differs distinctly from "dependence" in that an interdependent relationship implies that all participants are emotionally, economically, ecologically and or morally "interdependent." Some people advocate freedom orindependence as a sort of ultimate good; others do the same with devotion to one's family, community, or society. Interdependence recognizes the truth in each position and weaves them together. Two states that cooperate with each other are said to be interdependent. It can also be defined as the interconnectedness and the reliance on one another socially, economically, environmentally and politically.

Interdependence is the crux of community. Recently I have seen this in small, but powerful ways.
This week a friend I work with at YWAM and I were having a conversation in passing. At the end we were joking about our financial states. He was heading home to meet someone about his water heater and said in a joking tone "pray i get 1500$ real soon or ill be taking a cold shower." Earlier that afternoon I was balancing my own budget to realize I was 20$ shy of paying my cell phone bill. I, in an equally sarcastic tone responded to him, "pray i get 20$ real soon or ill be phoneless." Later that afternoon I was in the kitchen making dinner, filling in for this friend while he was home, and I get a text from him saying he wanted to give me 20$ to pay my cell bill. I was taken back. The comment was not said in any way to suggest he would give me the money, but he did none the less. He had in fact found out that his water heater was "done for" and he still needed the 1500$, but wanted to help me out. I was touched. Later that night Him and his wife went to dinner with a friend and her boyfriend. They were talking about the whole situation with the water heater, and the boyfriend offered to buy them the new water heater.
Interdependence only works when people are generous with each other. Generosity inspires generosity. I have learned to do without quite a bit. I have learned the value of simplicity (of which i could write a whole other blog of insights on this topic). But, I have learned to be generous with what I have. Sometimes it looks like running errands for a friend in nursing school with no time, other times it is sharing food and opening my house for friends to hang out, sometimes it is the gift of a warm shower for friends who are awaiting that new water heater.

Asking for help makes you dependent. Offering help makes you interdependent.

why nonviolence works

2010-05-18T10:33:00.000-06:00

the more i study the teachings of Jesus, the more I understand the movement of an upside down kingdom. the first shall be last, the poor shall be rich,give up your life to gain it, the list goes on. Jesus also had some challenging teachings when it comes to the way we approach violence, revenge, justice. Turn the other cheek may not just apply to us when we are personally wronged. It may not just apply to our group of people we identify with when wronged ( whether it be race or religion or gender). It may be what we are called to in the largest corporate context. I have heard it said that it is simply illogical to believe that violence can bring about peace. Yet I look around and see this illogical approach is by and large the most used method for attempting peace and liberation in countries. Many of those i have talked with about this see nonviolent movements as unrealistic idealology, or fantasy of utopia that will never be. Studying this a bit further i stumbled across a study done by Erica Chenoweth, a student at Wesleyan University. Her work is a statistical look at modern nonviolent movements and what the success rates are of those campaigns. There is a slideshow summary of her findings here. If you have a lot of time or really want to research the topic here is her entire study .

I LIVE IN DENVER

2010-05-11T10:09:00.000-06:00

I have lived out here for a year and half now and have these epiphanies from time to time. I was driving form my apartment to the YWAM offices this morning and had this realization.I LIVE IN COLORADO. This hit me at the out of body experience of seeing myself driving down the road in a subaru, drinking non corporate coffee (its ok starbucks i still love you) out of my reusable cup, listening to NPR's morning edition. Although I cling tightly to my Ohio roots, I realized I had crossed an invisible line. I LIVE in denver. With that said I thought I'd have an Oprah moment and share some of my favorite things of this city I now call home... Lets start with food and drink...here they are.

1. SWEET ACTION ICE CREAM

After moving from Columbus Ohio I knew there would be no match for Jeni's Ice Cream , but I have to say I have indeed found a close second. Sweet Action is a little shop on South Broadway that specializes in superpremium ice creams, vegan ice creams, and fresh fruit sorbets. There ice cream cookies aren't half bad either.

2. Pablo's Coffee

Pablo's is a coffee roaster and local shop down in the capital hill area. They provide coffee for a lot of local shops, but have their own coffee shop on the corner of 6th and washington. the staff there are friendly and fun. the coffee is good and hot and they have a big patio, great for summer saturday morning coffee runs.

3. City o City

After a month long fast/cleansing thing last january I became a vegetarian (for various digestive reasons). Since then my "eating out options" became quite limited...until i found city o city. this is a great restaurant with an extensive vegan/vegetarian menu and a very fun atmosphere. They have late hours and are a bastian of microbrews in downtown. seriously these guys are a jem.

...these are three great finds in the city of denver. there are many many more, but these are must drink/eats....check em out.

springtime favorites

2010-04-24T12:29:00.000-06:00

working at YWAM, we often take time to share our favorite websites with each other. most of them are likely funny: you tube finds, whatwhitepeoplelike.com, "myparentswereawesome" etc. a few of us share some of ourfavorite music sites, some of mine being hypemachine and daytrotter. Hats off to Darren for showing me "take away shows". Take Away Shows is run by la blogotheque and takes beautiful mostly acoustic videos of some amazing bands somewhere around paris. check out a few of them below...

the first is a video by sigur ros in a parisian cafe. i love the simple beauty of it and how it seems that the daily happenings of the cafe is still going on around them

Sigur Ros - Við spilum endalaust - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

the next is a video by sun giant/blue ridge mountain by fleet foxes. it starts with them in a park and then heading to a warehouse, complete with glockeshpiel (sp?) and cleverly added choir of spinning vocalists

Fleet Foxes - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Anyone who has known me for any amount of time or who has talked to me about music for even a few minutes knows that a favorite band of mine for some time has been Bon Iver ( french for "a good winter")La Blogotheque filmed two take away shows by Bon Iver with at least song each. Honestly, check them all out. Justin Vernon's voice is pure beauty and that is only exemplified with well filmed videos. Below is Flume... probably one of my favorites of this session

#93.1 - BON IVER - Lump Sum
Uploaded by lablogotheque. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.
the next is The Penalty by Beirut. Once watching this video i felt like this is always how this band is to be experienced.

#64.2 - Beirut - The Penalty
Uploaded by lablogotheque. - Discover more animation and arts videos.

happy easter

2010-04-04T16:39:00.000-06:00

had a great vegan easter brunch with some wonderful friends of mine. here's to you emma, shesh, and joshua.

Sam

2010-03-23T14:32:00.000-06:00

I got a phone call late last night from my sister saying that she was meeting mom and the emergency vet clinic and that Sam wasn't doing well. I had seen this coming. Our dear Sammy was 13 1/2 years old. In the past few months his arthritis had gotten pretty bad. He also was having accidents in the house. I went home in February after returning from Ireland and was prepared that this might be the last time I saw him. As the night progressed the vet got him out of distress and discovered his stomach had slipped. It could be corrected with surgery but was no guarantee how he would recover at his age. If it went uncorrected he would die. Mom then called me to say that she had made the decision that it was time to put him down. Her and Julie got to go in and say goodbye and mom held on to him as the vet gave him the injection. It is amazingly difficult to know that a part of your family is at the end of his life. I was 13 years old when we got Sam. He was attached to me from the beginning although my dad was his favorite. When dad died Sam grieved too. He layed on the bed and burrowed in my Dad's robe. He wandered the house looking for him for weeks. When I left to go to YWAM Sam used to talk to me on the phone (mom would put the phone up to his ear and he would growl/bark). When I bought my car, Sam got the first ride. When I would come home Sam would lay on top of me and sleep so he knew I wouldn't go anywhere without him knowing. Sam was there for most of the major milestones in my life. At 12:15 last night mom sent me the text "it's over he is gone..." and my heart sank to know my little brown and white buddy would not be around for anymore of my life's milestones.

st. padraig

2010-03-17T10:48:00.008-06:00

happy st. patrick's day guys. here are a few more photos from ireland. We've been back for over a month and I havent updated this in a bit. I'll properly update this soon. for now here's some stuff to get you in the spirit.

Up to a few months ago I though St. Patrick's Day was just an excuse to put green food dye in beer. The history of the holiday is actually pretty cool. Check out some wikipedia research below and learn some cool stuff.

St. Patrick wikipedia page

found this the other day. it's the song from Once in celtic...pretty cool

Swell Season- Gr dom Leonadh (falling) click on link and on the download tab

coming to the end of a journey

2010-02-09T08:36:00.005-07:00

we are now back in dublin. after a day of settling in and debriefing the team on the past 8 weeks we all take a breath exhale and realize we are indeed coming to the end of a journey. ireland has its own magic a place that is beautiful and pained and drips with history. being here implores you to know where you come from and know where you are going. That is what I hope to take home with me. We are spending two more days in dublin and then heading back on thursday. thank you all for following our goings on, praying for and supporting us during our time here.

telling a story

2010-01-31T08:42:00.005-07:00

Ireland is a country where story telling is as cultural as pint of guinness or a penny whistle. While here I have been reading a book about story. It is essentially components that make a great story. You see the writer slowly going the direction of saying "if your life isn't a good story, it isn't a good life." This part really stuck out to me

" i like slower stories these days. The simple ones. The ones that play out like art films. It's like God saying, ' write a good story, take somebody with you, and let me help... A good storyteller speaks something into nothing. Where there is an absence of story, or perhaps a bad story, a good storyteller walks in and changes reality. He doesn't critique the existing, or lament his boredom, like a critic, He just tells something different and invites other people into the new story he is telling."

since being here i have found a new appreciation of storytelling and storyliving. i hope to be able to sit down with God and tell him stories and Him laugh with remembrance or smile with nostalgia or beam with pride, and Him to remind me of those stories I have long since forgotten. To know that this short span on earth wasnt wasted sitting on a couch and watching t.v. and complaining about how boring and messed up this world is.

to dublin

2010-01-21T03:49:00.006-07:00

After spending last weekend in the Closkelt , we caught the bus down to Dublin (not without a literal crash course in driving a minibus on this side of the pond)We have been here for four days now and are staying in a suburb of the city called Malahide. We have been doing a few mid day school programs and youth events in the evenings. It has been cool to work with the kids here and they seem to be very receptive to us. Also we have been doing a fundraiser through St. Andrews that is benefiting relief effort in Haiti. In Ireland they do not have people at the grocery store to bag your items. A local supermarket has let our team come in and bag groceries with jars for people to give a donation.We took the train into the city tuesday and spent the day seeing downtown dublin. the republic is a much different feel from the north. dublin is bigger and much more expensive, but it is cool to see a new place and get to know new people. We are only in Malahide for the week before heading down to Cork for 2 weeks. It is strange how fast this half of outreach can be. Below are some photos from the past week or so.

Darren from the bridge where the river meets the sea in Newcastle...it seems kind of ominous

morning walk in Closkelt. It was a beautiful view from the house up there. when the morning fog clears you can see the mourne mountains on the horizon

shelby at a bookstore on the trinity university campus in dublin

Palmer at the train station ( sporting a lion mane)

God Save Ireland

2010-01-05T17:30:00.008-07:00

the past few days most of our team has been out sick. those of us who were feeling well and not wanting to be stuck in quarantine with the ill got out of the houses and went up to see belfast castle. today we took a mural tour with one of the John Hash of YWAM Ireland. He is working on his doctorate in the theology of reconciliation at Trinity University. John showed us the different murals depicting the troubles on both the protestant and catholic side of the wall and explained quite a bit of what the mentality is here and some of the obstacles and steps to an interdependent Belfast. I know many of us learned more about reconciliation in a few short hours with John than many people will have in a lifetime....below are some of the pictures from the past few days...

happy new year belfast

2009-12-31T17:17:00.010-07:00

we had plans to go spend the new year down in city center only to find out it had been cancelled. Earlier this month there was a riot during the tree lighting that they had to call in the military to break up. they since decided to cancel any other holiday events at the city hall. we are back at the flat and rung in the new year together. the sound of church bells and fireworks has been background noise to our conversations for the last hour... today i also took quite a few pictures...here are some of them...

city hall...the site of where the would be new years festivities were to take place...

an espresso macchiato from belfast coffee company.

donegall and royal from a double decker bus

the shankill (our neighborhood) from up above

the shankill graveyard is now a city park. there are graves there that date back to 455 AD. i love the stonework on this one...

a walk in the park

on a walk to buy more bread

the last sunset of 2009

new years

2009-12-30T16:00:00.004-07:00

belfast...it is strange mark certain holidays here in a city that seems like time stands still. this is a city where every pint comes with a history lesson, every brick paved road has a story, every piece of architecture is significant. here the passing of a decade seems unremarkable. decades come and go and much of life here looks the same. its hard to believe that we are coming up on another decade. it doesnt seem like it has been that long since the Y2k scare. i look forward to celebrating the new year in belfast and my prayer is that i will not only have dreams for the future, and learn and remember my past but also that i will learn to be utterly present. to be here now. and not to miss what is set in front of me everyday.

from ireland with love

2009-12-26T15:12:00.012-07:00

we have been here for a week now and there is already a lot to write about. this is the first night we have had internet in our house so i will write and catch everyone up but until then here are some photos

this is some of the team at the woodvale house. we are staying in two different houses in the Shankil area of Belfast. the rest of the girls and i have a flat down the street
this is one of the hundreds of murals throughout Belfast. We are staying on the Protestant side of the peace wall. most murals are more propaganda than art, but they are everywhere.

today we walked the peace wall. there is a whole section that people have written there own wishes, prayers, or encouragement for peace.

the stretch of the wall by our flat. they built the cement wall, that wasnt enough to keep people out, so they added8 more feet of sheet metal. then they would throw things over the wall so they built 8 more feet of chain link.
kelley's on christmas eve. this is the oldest pub in Belfast. It was built in 1728. the guys on the back wall are men who began the IRA back in the 1700's who frequented this place.

drew hanging out with a local guy. he was speaking english but i couldnt understand a word he said.

the sign outside the presbyterian church where the YWAM Belfast offices are.

more murals from the Shankil. this is the area during the Troubles that saw some of the worst violence.

shankil road

packing up heading out

2009-12-19T19:26:00.003-07:00

so we leave tomorrow. im over at the base getting lunch ready for the team to pack tomorrow and thought id send this out to let everyone know whats going on. we head out tomorrow at 730 to DIA. Flying from here to Philly and Philly to Dublin. Once in Dublin we take a bus up to Belfast and will be there around 1030 Monday morning. Ill update as soon as we can once there. we have some open mike nights set up in area pubs for the week as well as a children's workers saftey class we are taking as a prerequisite to be working with the kids there. there are a few other things on the agenda that i'll hit on in the next update.

to my dad on his five year re-birthday

2009-12-16T10:17:00.007-07:00

i am from white caddilacs with red interiors and orange trees in grandmas backyard.

i am from eight puppies andthe artist/poet/car part salesman living in our basement

i am from "cubba jubbies" and "bodysam".

i am from easter dresses under the crab apple tree and roller skating to "heart in motion" in the garage.

i am from hot summer afternoons in the above ground pool and dot-dog-mac-n-cheese lunches and playing rainbow brite before TGIF.

i am from road trips to akron and fishing with grandpa.

i am from oscar de la renta and motor oil.

i am from "leaving on a jet plane" and "sunshine on my shoulders".

i am from g.i. joes attack the barbie townhouse and weeping willow trees.

i am from twinkle lights and home made ornaments.

i am from race car drivers and folk singers.

i wonder if five years feels the same in heaven as does here on earth. it seems like it has been forever. the hole doesn't hurt as much as the years go on, but it is still there. it's days like today that remind me of that. dad, i love you and miss you.

two years

2009-12-09T11:30:00.002-07:00

this was an article done about our base last year. it has been two years today since the shooting here. Its amazing how much this is still a part of us.

my parents were awesome

2009-12-08T12:32:00.002-07:00

something fun for the day... this website is awesome. im sure i have some photos i could have added to it.

my parents were awesome.

tis the season

2009-12-03T09:33:00.003-07:00

i went home last week and did the whole family thanksgiving thing. since i will be in ireland over the holiday we tried to fit in some christmas tradition at the same time, putting up the tree and decorating the house. with that said i thought it was time to roll out a bit of a christmas tradition i started a few years ago known as the "christmas mix tape" . being far away from friends and family this year i decided to go digital with the mix. Here it is. Hope you like it.

(to download click on the link, it takes you to the site the music is uploaded to)

1. I Heard the Bells- Pedro the Lion - I love David Bazan. Anyone who knows me knows this is no secret. For years he has put out 7" vinyl singles of Christmas songs. This is one of my favorite. His extra verses turn what can be somewhat cheesy Christmas songs into something else entirely.

2. O Holy Night- Seven Day Jesus- This is by far my favorite Christmas songs and this is the best version I have ever heard.

3. Carol of the Bells- The Bird and the Bee- This is a cute version of this song by a band I have just begun to really get into.

4. Silent Night- Over the Rhine- Being from Ohio it would seem almost necessary to include Over the Rhine. for years they have put on a Christmas show in Cincinnati that is one of the best parts of the Christmas season in Ohio.

5. Christmas Don't Be Late- Rosie Thomas- Rosie is one of those Seattle treasures. If you haven't heard her music go out and buy it now! She put this album out last year and it was by far the best Christmas album of the Season.

6. O Come O Come Emmanuel- Joshua James- Joshua put out a Christmas EP a few years ago called fields and flood. it is a really solid 4 songs. this was by far my favorite of his.

7. All I Want for Christmas- Pedro the Lion- Another one by David Bazan....love it.