Hammers in the Heart

Hammers down Swans in top-of-the-table clash

2026-10-18T14:31:14.508+02:00

Swansea City 0 West Ham 1

A fantastic result against top-of-the-table Swansea in Wales, achieved while I was reducing my stress levels by watching Dulwich Hamlet versus Carshalton, a 2-2 draw. Nuno picked Pablo up front ahead of Taty and Piroe, played Kante in a much more advanced role, where he did well, and relied on a five-man midfield to stifle the Swans.

West Ham's goal owed a lot to Pablo being a pest in midfield, winning the ball for Musaka then taking the return and playing in Kante. Mo gets to the byline and produces a good cut back to allow Musaka to score. West Ham do get lucky though when from a free-kick melee, Cabango hits the bar, with the ball bouncing on the line.

The second half begins with a flurry of West Ham chances. Bowen forces a decent save from Vigouroux and Pablo fires just over. Kante does really well to set up Pablo who fires at the keeper when he should have tried lifting the ball over him.

Swansea create some good chances too. Centre-back Cabango miscues another good chance in front of goal and late on Ronald heads across goal when he should haver tried to score.

So it ends 1-0 with the sort of result that promotion teams grind out. My Swansea-supporting pal Huw reviewed the game with: "Fair enough. No complaints. Difference was that one moment of ruthless clarity which created your goal, but that doesn’t come from nothing. We had our moments, but never quite managed to match that, while you had that flurry around the hour with two or three chances. Smart tactical set-up in first half, high press gave us trouble playing out and restricted Stamenic, an important outlet for us."

West Ham are the top scorers in all four divisions with 30 goals, which is surprising as we've not got a prolific striker, but 14 players have contributed so far. Nuno must be doing something right. Another plus is that with Veltman and Morato replacing Walker-Peters and Scarles as full-backs the defence looks a much more difficult unit to break down, while Engels is covering a lot of ground in front of them. There's a long way to go but with two home games coming up there has to be cause for optimism. Irons!

The joy of six (part two)

2026-10-15T14:15:33.145+02:00

Lincoln City 0 West Ham United 6 (six)

It's an evening at home with a bottle of Proper Job watching this, with Sky TV obviously hoping for an upset. Strangely, Gillingham manager and Sky pundit Gareth Ainsworth appears to be dressed for a role as Legolas in Lord of the Rings. While it’s nice to see ex-Hammer Chris Cohen on the bench as Lincoln’s joint manager.

Thankfully the predicted giant-killing doesn't occur as after two minutes Hamer hammers Veltman with a two-footed lunge and is immediately shown a red card. That wasn't very Impish. The Irons struggle to break down the ten men of Lincoln as I WhatsApp my West Ham group with a Big Sam-style warning that, "it's always difficult to play against ten men."

On 23 minutes defender McGrandles miscues and Bowen is in on goal. The Lincoln man brings him down and it's another inevitable red card. It's always difficult to play against nine men. The Hammers do indeed lack inspiration for the rest of the half. Kante heads a great chance wide from a corner, Solomon can't get in the game and Engels overhits his dead balls, while Bowen is shackled by two defenders.

Thankfully the Hammers make the breakthrough on half time. Bowen's corner is headed home by the Greek Bloke for Dinos' fifth goal of the season, with Piroe doing well to block off the keeper. Five goals in five games, Mavropanos is outscoring soon-to-be Northern League striker Erling Haaland.

ON ME EDVIN

Nuno makes a good call at half-time taking off defender Morato and bringing on an extra attacker in Austbo. Asbo makes an instant impact cutting in from the left and firing home a superb dipping shot in off the bar. A minute later Bowen gets a shot off that deflects in off a defender. By this stage I'm confident of at least a point.

The Hammers still lack a Paqueta-type passer and don't have much luck trying to free Piroe or sub Castellanos in the middle. But the patient approach pays off when Pablo heads home from a corner for his first league goal.

The final bonus is the arrival of super sub Tomas Soucek, who has just signed a new contract. His first goal is a clever shot lifted over the leg of a tackling defender. The sixth goal and Tomas's second arrives when keeper Wickens can't hold a Kilman cross and Soucek is on hand to tap home and celebrate with his trademark windmill. It might be safe to look at the league table now. Tomas is going to score a lot of goals in this division. Ever the nice guy, he hands his shirt to a young girl at the end.

Michael and Lisa send a selfie from the new lucky pub of the Wellington in Waterloo. This is West Ham's joint best away victory ever, only matched by the 6-0 away victory at Leicester in 1923, and no, I wasn't there. You wait all season for a 6-0 victory and then two come along at once. We're the division's top scorers with 14 different players (including one own goal) finding the net this season.

Yes, we should beat nine men and the first half wasn't great, but you have to beat what's in front of you and you can't sniff at a 6-0 away win. A stiffer test will come at top of the table Swansea City on Saturday but this result must be a big confidence booster. Irons!

A tale of two penalties

2026-10-10T18:49:41.613+02:00

West Ham 1 QPR 1

In the Best Meze Cafe culinary faintheart Matt has given up on getting served and gone to the ground, so it's down to diehards Nigel and myself. My falafel and cup of tea actually arrive pretty quickly as Nigel reminisces about his trip to Wyoming visiting Mount Rushmore and the Old Faithful Geyser. Never knew he was mates with Danny Dyer.

Inside the stadium we find Matt, Michael, Jake the vlogger and a late-running Lisa, who is carrying a black briefcase, presumably full of dossiers to give to Nuno, or perhaps the West Ham self-destruct codes. Big Sam is away listening to Rick Parfitt's son play Status Quo songs. The tributes to Ludo Miklosko from Kevin Keen and Jimmy Walker are well done and it's emotional to see Mark Noble and Ludo's son carry a wreath to the centre circle before kick-off.

West Ham start slowly, again. After18 minutes the returning Tomas Soucek, clearly rusty after his long lay-off, misplaces a pass in midfield. To retrieve the situation he makes a good tackle outside the box on Smyth. Astonishingly referee Ruebyn Ricardo awards a penalty. An aghast Soucek looks like someone has just stolen his potato salad. For once we're wishing that VAR was back. Madsen rolls home the spot kick.

QPR are fast on the break, with Kolli impressing. West Ham seem to have lost all rhythm after the three-week break and look very laboured. There's a lot of slow passing around at the back but no penetration. Walker-Peters has a bit of a 'mare, Mukasa is anonymous, Soucek is off the pace, Solomon has a couple of decent dribbles but can't get his crosses in and Bowen's crosses are hitting the first man. Bowen attempts an audacious overhead kick and that's about it, while West Ham almost concede from their own corner as Hermansen has to parry Kolli's shot.

Nuno takes decisive action after a poor first half, going to a back three and taking off Walker-Peters and Soucek for Pablo and Austbo. Pablo makes a difference by getting stuck in and making life awkward for the Rangers' defenders. The 62,000 crowd get behind the Irons and that helps. It's not until the 70th minute that the breakthrough comes. Bowen wins the ball with a crunching tackle on the touchline then receives the ball back from Taty on the right wing. Jarrod cuts inside and fires against the legs of a defender but he's alert enough to slam home the rebound. He runs straight back to the centre spot knowing the Hammers have to go for the win.

SPOT OF BOTHER

For the final 20 minutes West Ham actually get going. Orford comes on and his ability to keep the ball helps. Pablo sets up sub Piroe for a shot that is tipped away by Pierce Charles for a corner. Bowen cuts inside to fire just over and then performs some more penalty box wriggling to force a tip round the post. Can the Hammers play badly but still grind out a win?

It seems so in the 91st minute when Bowen plays in a great cross and Pablo is blatantly pulled back by Mbengue. A shame as that might have been Pablo's first league goal, but surely Bowen will score from the spot? Only his low effort is saved by Charles and the keeper then produces another brilliant save to tip Engels' header on to the post. If in doubt blast it. That's three points lost from missed last-minute penalties this season.

We trek to Ye Olde Black Bull where at least Matt Upson on Sky inspires our Matt to raid his mind palace and ask what Upson has done that only two other West Ham players have. The answer is score in the World Cup finals. It's been a frustrating evening and slow starts have become a real problem. West Ham remain unbeaten in seven games but are now out of the automatic promotion spots. A big improvement is required for Lincoln away on Wednesday.

PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Walker-Peters 4 (Austbo 6), Mavropanos 6, Kilman 6, Morato 5; Soucek 4 (Pablo 7), Mukasa 4 (Orford 6), Engels 6; Bowen 7, Castellanos 5, Solomon 5 (Piroe 6).

Torquay Irons

2026-10-01T17:09:51.987+02:00

You don't expect to encounter a West Ham exhibition while on holiday in Torquay. But visitors to Bygones Museum can find several cabinets of Hammers memorabilia. Most of the museum is devoted to Victorian shops, quirky artefacts and a recreation of the world war one trenches. But upstairs, the West Ham display is all the work of Rick, the son of the owner. Rick is a season ticket holder at the London Stadium and used to go to matches as a boy with his godfather, Bert Willis, who worked in the bars and the boot room at the Boleyn Ground.

The Bygones exhibition contains an astonishing array of West Ham memorabilia, including the warm-up shirt worn by Pablo Fornals before the Europa Conference League Final and Lucas Paqueta's boots (which look more like slippers) from the same game. There's lots of 1975 FA Cup Final material including a collection from Mervyn Day. You can see the shirt worn by Bill Roberts in 1937-38. Trivia fans will know that Bill was Len Goulden's understudy. There's a signed Declan Rice shirt, a signed photo of Alan Stephenson taking on Denis Law and a 1976 Cup Winners' Cup Final shirt. If you're tired of Agatha Christie and Basil Fawlty in Torquay, then give Bygones a visit.

Signs of progress

2026-09-28T14:47:24.174+02:00

Well, the interminable international break seems like a good time to assess the season so far after 11 games. Firstly, the sales have exceeded monetary expectations in getting around £200 million for Fernandes, Summerville, Potts and Diouf. The more excitable fans on social media wanted WHU to spend the lot on big names without taking into account the £100m plus loss in the last trading year. The big names were never going to come to the Championship and it's been more sensible to sign players who can do a job in this league.

Let's take a look at the signings. At the back Joel Veltman is on the old side at 34 but experienced and Brighton don't sign many duds. He's looked steady and can play at full-ball or centre back, so a good addition on a free. Morato, on loan from Forest, has come in for Scarles recently. He's already scored and was certainly ready to stand up to Millwall's land of the giants and looks like he likes a scrap. He gets extra marks for the intimidating tattoos. On-loan Adama Boiro (the Black Country ballpoint) has only had a brief appearance as a sub and at present it's hard to see him displacing Scarles and Morato as left-back.

In midfield Arne Engels is improving all the time. He works tremendously hard and takes a fine dead ball. Hopefully we'll see goals soon as well. At £22m he should be ready for the Premier League if we can get there. Divine Mukasa would have been known to the coaches at West Ham having been poached by Man City and the evidence suggests he can go all the way. Witness that 30-yard strike against Wolves. He's a little inconsistent but the technical side of the game seems to come easily to him. And with Man City hopefully relegated to the National League might the Irons now be in with a chance of signing him when his loan ends?

Manor Solomon has proved he can be very effective at Championship level at Leeds and as a tricky winger who can score has solved the problem of how to replace Jimmy Summerville. Similarly Joel Piroe scored a lot of goals when Leeds won the Championship. Sometimes his control can look poor but he's already bagged three goals and he'll do damage at this level.

Edvin Austbo looks like he's too young to go in pubs but is an interesting addition at £10 million. The club appear to have actually done some scouting for this signing. He's affected games against Derby and Millwall when he's come on and looks a good alternative to Solomon on the left. Keiber Lamadrid only cost £1 million and is hard to judge after his few outings, though the suspicion is that he's not ready for the Championship.

So overall some good work by Nils Koppen and CEO Karim Varani in selling high and getting in some reasonably shrewd signings. We've proved we can score a lot of goals this season (13 different scorers so far) but the defence remains a worry, with the Greek Bloke scoring lots from set-pieces but looking more unsure at the back without Axel Disasi. Credit to Max Kilman though for being consistent so far and perhaps turning around his West Ham career.

SITTING ON DEFENCE

The side still lacks a natural defensive shield and you wonder if Tomas Soucek, soon to return, might provide this. He's not fast but he does a lot of defensive work in his own box heading fridges and being generally awkward. Another option might be some games for Soungoutou Magassa, who failed to engineer a move and is still at the club. But progress has certainly been made in the development of youngsters like Kante and Orford.

Another lesson is that we tend to win games when Pablo is in the side. He might not score much but he defends from the front and does a lot of unselfish work. He's the man who can create space for Castellanos and/or Piroe to score.

Ownership-wise Kretinsky is now in overall control though David Sullivan clings on, but at least he is being kept away from the transfer deals. With the Hammers sitting second things have definitely improved after a poor start. We've only lost once and the 6-0 hammering of Wrexham proves that when the side clicks we can beat anyone. Away draws need to be turned into victories though and the Millwall game was a warning about opponents always being up for it against the Hammers. Still, the side is starting to settle and it's a B+ so far. Come on you Irons!

Dinos saves Hammers in fiery dockers' derby

2026-09-20T18:27:36.213+02:00

Millwall 2 West Ham 2

It's over to daughter Lola's gaff to watch this on her big screen. When Jarrod Bowen is clattered by Metcalfe after 14 seconds it sets the tone. Millwall steam into tackles and look very up for it, while West Ham never get going and lose out in all the duels. The Lions have two giants roughly the size of the Shard at centre back in Cooper and Taylor and we just can't cope with them with at set-pieces.

Millwall take the lead while Mavropanos is off the pitch for a minute after a knock on the head. The defence fails to deal with a long- throw-in, Hermansen makes a couple of brilliant saves but at the third attempt Taylor scores with Kilman and Engels slow to react. Sykes whacks a 40-yard screamer against the bar. Bowen is shackled by Sturge and Arconte is causing lots of problems on the left for Walker-Peters. Millwall bag a second just before half time as another Dykes long-throw causes chaos and Neghli beats Bowen in the six-yard box to whack it home.

Nuno takes decisive action at half time bringing on Pablo and Kante for Piroe and Walker-Peters.We go to three at the back which is brave. The pair make an immediate difference with their physicality as Millwall start to tire. Bowen has a shot parried and Kante almost gets the rebound. Then goalkeeper Marschall accuses Castellanos of spitting at him, though it's hard to see anything on the replay. Bowen gets in a fine cross and Pablo's header inspires a fine tip over from the keeper.

THE COLOSSUS OF COLD BLOW LANE

Suddenly West Ham look a different side. A lifeline arrives on 74 minutes as Pablo finds Kante who nets with a great low drive from outside the box. Bowen has a dribble and shot deflected wide. Sub Austbo fires in a vicious dipping shot that Marschall deflects for a corner. From the short corner Solomon beats his man and stands the ball up for Mavropanos to head home. The away end goes mental and Dinos celebrates as if he has a personal beef with Millwall having watched that 1977 Panorama on Harry the Dog and F Troop. They're not singing anymore, while the Greek Bloke is heading for full-on East London geezerdom.

It looks like West Ham can go on to win it until Kante hesitates kicking clear as the last man and is beaten by Lisbie. He has to make the quick decision to pull Lisbie back to prevent a likely goal and correctly gets a red card. West Ham survive the free kick and added time to take a point.

A mixed bag this, a terrible first half and a spirited comeback in the second. Nuno is rightly angry at the first half performance while the game has also emphasised the value of Pablo, who stops teams playing out from defence. Still, we won't play another team as fired up as Millwall all season. In that context we'll take the point. Irons!

We were there when Pablo scored!

2026-09-16T12:23:38.331+02:00

West Ham 2 Fulham 3 (Carabao Cup)

Before kick-off Tony Gale is on the pitch paying tribute to Ludo Miklosko and Tomas Soucek lays a Miklosko shirt behind Finlay Herrick's goal. There's a moving minute of applause for the Hammers great followed by Bubbles. RIP Ludo.

The big news in the stand is that Nigel has made his first ever visit to the Carpenters Arms and Sam is sporting a number 15 West Ham shirt with "Greek Bloke" on the back. We're joined by Matt, Lisa and CQ, though Michael is absent watching the big one of Hornchurch versus Worthing.

It's a somewhat weakened side with Bowen and Solomon on the bench and Kante and Mukasa forced into wide roles, while Pablo and Ajala start up front. Fulham pass the ball around nicely and take the lead when Palacios gets down the left too easily to cross for the poorly-marked Muniz to head home.

But there always seem to be goals now in West Ham games. The equaliser comes quickly after a corner. Engels plays in a good second phase cross and Mavropanos heads across goal for Morato to score. The 12th Hammer to score this season.

However it's soon evident that the speedy Robinson is causing Walker-Peters all sorts of problems and Palacios is running midfield. A simple ball over the top sees Palacios race through to score. Robinson easily beats KWP for pace but his inviting cross is missed by Fulham's strikers.

PORTUGEEZER

But Fulham haven't accounted for Pablo. Shortly before the interval a good move sees Walker-Peters cross and Kante produce a clever flick that is parried by Lecomte. From a tight angle Pablo fires the rebound into the top corner. A great finish and the Portugeezer celebrates like he's won the World Cup and so do we. A chorus breaks out of, "We were there when Pablo scored!" His first goal in 22 games.

The second half sees Fulham establish midfield control, though West Ham still create chances. Nuno brings on Bowen and Solomon, Pablo almost gets on the end of Bowen's cross and Solomon has a goalbound shot deflected. Then the Greek Bloke heads just wide from Bowen's corner when he should probably score.

It's Fulham who get the winner. Kante loses the ball on the edge of the box and Bobb dances through Walker-Peters and Kilman to poke past the unsighted Herrick. Matt gets increasingly incensed, prompting Nigel to quip that he's not loving Engels tonight. There's almost an equaliser but Bowen fires over when well-placed and sub Taty's rather tame shot is cleared off the line.

Mavropanos dawdles and almost gives away a fourth but in the end it's 2-3 and we're out of the Carabao Cup. Orford, Kante and Ajala have all struggled a bit against a good passing side from the Premier League, but will learn from this.

In Ye Olde Back Bull CQ talks us through her London pub rock tour and we learn that Matt has gathered a new audience of trainspotters on YouTube after posting footage of his steam train ride in Wales. Nigel is looking forward to watching 70 Up complete with Lib Dem councillor Neil Hughes, whom we encountered in Bampton, Cumbria while bagging Wainwrights.

On the train home Big Sam is collared by an American lady who has seen his shirt and says she loves Greece. He has to break it to her that he is not actually a Greek Bloke himself but a fan of West Ham's Greek Bloke.

It's never nice to lose but I'd swap this defeat for a win at Millwall. With 46 league games we don't really need a cup run. It's been an entertaining (and cheap) game but now we really do have to concentrate on the league.

PLAYER RATINGS: Herrick 6; Walker-Peters 5, Mavropanos 6, Kilman 5, Morato 6 (Scarles n/a); Mukasa 5 (Bowen 7), Engels 6, Orford 5 (Piroe n/a), Kante 5; Pablo 7 (Castellanos 5), Ajala 5 (Solomon 6).

RIP Ludo

2026-09-14T18:23:29.739+02:00

We knew it was coming but it's still heartbreaking to hear of the death of Ludek Miklosko, who came from (quite) near Moscow. I met Ludo twice and he was as everyone says a really good guy. The first time was in 2005 while in Prague to give a talk for the British Council after a youth game between Sparta Prague and West Ham (James Tomkins was in the Hammers youth side that day).

I had a good chat with Ludo and his wife on the touchline of Sparta's vast array of training pitches. We had a laugh about his song (bizarrely he claimed that Banik Ostrava was not that near Moscow being 1000 miles away). I also got the impression that he regarded fellow Czech Tomas Repka as a bit of a headcase, like we all did.

The next time we met was at the end of the Europa Conference League Final in Prague in 2023. He happily posed for photos with my pal DC (pictured above) and myself and again he was great with us two delirious fans. Another memory of Ludo is when I was writing for Fortunes Always Hiding fanzine and we published the exclusive Ludek Miklosko column — it was written in indecipherable Czech apart from odd phrases like "Ford Escort Turbo", "Romford Market" and "Benjy's nightclub".

Ludo was Lou Macari's best signing and played 374 times for the Irons and of course we all remember his performance against Man United in 1995 that sent the title to Blackburn. He was Mr Consistency and it's hard to remember him making many mistakes. And of course there was the "Ludo Launch" when playing out from the back wasn't a thing. At 64 cancer got him much too early.

If St Peter is asking, "Oi Big Boy what's your name?" we will all know the answer. Rest in Peace Ludo.

The joy of six

2026-09-12T11:57:38.781+02:00

West Ham 6 (six) Wrexham 0

We watch this in the Heritage Hotel at Torquay, accompanied by a bloke who grew up in Hornchurch now living in Spain who is buying properties in the area and his mate who is a Wrexham fan. Meanwhile disturbing news arrives on WhatsApp that Matt and Lisa are in Wales and requesting a half and half scarf, "for a Welsh friend".

Initially the Hammers have most of the game with Bowen having a shot tipped on to the bar by Patterson and Piroe shooting over from a good position. The opener arrives when Solomon finds Morato, getting a game in place of Scarles, whose low cross is expertly steered home by Jarrod Bowen.

Mavropanos makes a poor clearance but then retrieves the situation by clearing off the line from Dobson. That's about Wrexham's only chance. Soon after Castellanos feeds Piroe who fires into the top of the net.

The second half begins with a corner headed home by the Greek Bloke. That's Dinos's third of the season. What sort of thing is happening here?

Walker-Peters has come on for the injured Veltman and makes a surging break from this own area. A quick one-two sees him set up Taty for the fourth. Blimey, it's time for more Camden Pale Ale. It's amazing what confidence does, we're playing with verve and freedom.

Manor Solomon who has had a great game plays a fine ball over the top for sub Mo Kante to score an excellent fifth. We might have found a new lucky pub. we look on in disbelief as Solomon is set up by Walker-Peters to fire in the sixth, in off the post.

The only Hollywood display has been from West Ham. For the first time in 131 years we've had six different scorers in one game. This is as they say a statement result. Shame I was on holiday for it.

The day had begun with Amanda Staveley admitting she had tried to buy David Sullivan's shares and saying she saw huge potential in the club. Then Edson Alvarez had gone on record to deny that his family had ever kidnapped a documentary film-maker, as you do. Followed by WHU scoring six. Just a typical day at West Ham really. Come on you Irons!

We're top of the league! (for 24 hours)

2026-09-11T10:20:42.133+02:00

Bolton Wanderers 2 West Ham United 3

Catch the updates for this game while staying with Mr Fawlty in Torquay. The Hammers take 4,500 loyal fans and our pal Big Sam, accompanied by blogger Jake, proves he can do it on a wet Tuesday night in Bolton. Nuno has kept Piroe on the bench and with Taty injured is playing goalless but hard-working Pablo up front, which seems a bit risky.

West Ham take the lead after an overlap and cross from Walker-Peters. A Bolton defender deflects the cross towards his own keeper, Pablo fires against Bazunu and Bowen is there to snap up the rebound.

It looks to be going all wrong though after Mavropanos clears but Erhahon gathers to shoot in off the Greek Bloke. Bolton then gain a pretty soft penalty for contact from Walker-Peters and Rodrigues scores from the spot.

This Hammers side has goals in it though. Engels whips in a free kick worthy of Ward-Prowse and the Greek Bloke is there to head home a difficult bouncing ball.

The second half sees Piroe miss a good chance after being set up by sub Solomon and Kante test the keeper. Nuno uses his substitutes well and Veltman plays in Bowen, whose prod towards goal trickles under Bazunu to make it 3-2. Good to see Bowen celebrating in front of a packed away end. He almost gets a hat-trick after Solomon plays him in but delays a little too long allowing a saving tackle.

Astonishingly the Hammers go top for 24 hours before West Brom's win pushes them into second. Still it's a boost to have led the division and there is some danger of optimism. All the new signings have contributed and there's even evidence of scouting in buying Austbo rather than a player from a favoured agent. Three wins in a week is good going even if the defence still looks vulnerable. Now comes another test against Wrexham. If we can win this one then we really might be able to win promotion.

Hammers get the job done on Derby day

2026-09-06T13:54:32.601+02:00

West Ham 3 Derby County 0

Tomas Soucek is on the pitch pre-kick off talking about his comeback. No-one can understand a word he says via his accent and the PA, though perhaps potato salad and heading fridges are mentioned. Let's hope he's back soon. I'm joined by Nigel in his 2010 Robin Trower tour t-shirt, Big Sam, Matt, Lisa and Michael in his beloved Bowen shirt. Off the pitch Daniel Kretinsky seems to have won the shares battle against Amanda Staveley and we still can't get rid of David Sullivan.

It's very hot again and for much of the game the sun is in our eyes. Pablo seems to be injured so Piroe partners Taty up front and Veltman gets the nod at right-back. West Ham make the best possible start when Bowen crosses, Taty heads back across the box and the unmarked Piroe has a tap-in.

Derby don't look very good but the Irons just can't get a second goal. A fine ball from Castellanos sees Bowen prod wide when well-placed and then Jarrod produces a good low save from Zetterstrom. The Derby keeper then makes a superb save from the Greek Bloke's towering header. The half ends with Taty shooting just wide after good play with Mukasa. County's only half-chance is thwarted by a fine saving tackle from Max Kilman.

At half-time we discuss the work of the late Richard O'Sullivan in Man About the House. He taught Nigel everything he knows about flat-sharing. Mystic May predicts a 3-0 home win as everyone else goes for a draw or a 2-0 win.

The second half sees Bowen fire straight at the keeper and a fine move between Bowen and Mukasa set up Solomon for a volley he slices to the keeper. The winger has impressed with his turns of pace and dribbling though. We're all a bit worried at just 1-0 as Derby bring on endless subs.

Orford comes on to allow Mukasa to play further forward but Derby come into it a bit more. Luckily they are fairly powderpuff in attack. There a hopeful handball claim against the Greek Bloke and a free kick fired wide by Salvesen and that's it.

BREAKING COUNTY LINES

"Try playing it forward lads!" suggests the exasperated Vicar's Son as West Ham pass it around at the back. Austbo and Boiro (the ballpoint from Wolverhampton) come on as Nuno risks changing the entire left side on 77 minutes. Boiro fluffs his first couple of passes then makes a decent run down the left. We wonder if Boiro is the man to take pens.

It takes until the 87th minute for the game to be put to bed. Engels, who has had a fine busy game, surges down the right and finds Bowen. Jarrod's shot is blocked but deflects kindly to Austbo who scores with some glee. "Asbo" is probably relieved he won't be sent to Middlesbrough.

Asbo clearly has something about him as his next pass finds late sub Kante. Mo takes a touch or two and wallops a finish into the bottom corner before running to the corner flag. His first goal for West Ham and a great confidence-booster for him. Three-nil is a much more impressive scoreline but most important is the clean sheet.

We head to the Eagle, where the mysteries of the fridge reveal bottles of Butcombe Gold ale. In the beer garden a mouse scurries around like Arne Engels. Matt channels Cheers to reveal that crisps are a relatively new invention. We discuss how good it is not to have VAR and Matt says he hasn't noticed the refs in this division, which must be a first. It's something of a musical night ahead as Matt and Lisa are going to see Frank Turner in Clapham, Nigel is watching Robin Trower and Michael's off to view Darts (the band, not Luke Littler).

So it's two home wins in a row and seven points in a week. Interestingly 11 players have scored for WHU this season. The squad is now settled and the kids are getting experience. If we can get something against Bolton and Wrexham this week then things might really be improving.

PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Veltman 7, Mavropanos 6, Kilman 6, Scarles 6 (Boiro 5); Bowen 7 (Kante n/a), Engels 7, Mukasa 6 (Morato n/a), Solomon 7 (Austbo 7); Castellanos 6 (Orford 6), Piroe 6.

Divine intervention as Mukasa double tames Wolves

2026-09-02T13:27:21.883+02:00

West Ham 4 (four) Wolves 2

There's much mayhem at the turnstiles as lots of season tickets read red, but eventually we all get in, even if the digital readers might be trying to tell us something. Before the kick-off deadline day loan signing Morato is paraded on the pitch as if he's Vinicius Junior. I'm joined by Matt, Lisa, Michael, Nigel and his lucky Stranglers bag and Big Sam, set to see if we can do it on a wet Tuesday night in Bolton.

Wolves have the better of the exchanges in the first half an hour, though as Michael points out, Pablo does give us a bit of extra steel disrupting behind the front line even if he doesn't score. The Portugeeezer returns from injury looking creative and trying backheels. But Wolves go closest, as Jimenez's shot goes into the ground and bounces on to the bar and then Mane hits the bar after Walker-Peters misjudges the flight of the ball. We're still missing a ball-winner in midfield.

We need a goal to steady nerves and one duly arrives. Just as Mystic Morris remarks that Mukasa hasn't done much yet, Pablo plays a clever chip to Walker-Peters on the right. His cross is cleared to Engels, who plays a short ball to Mukasa outside the box, who wallops an absolute screamer in off the bar. That's why Man City have signed him, the boy has Divine talent.

Piroe has grown into the game and does well to turn into the box before winning a penalty. Jarrod Bowen sends Sa the wrong way to make it 2-0. Suddenly the side starts to play with confidence. What could possibly go wrong when you're 2-0 up against a newly-relegated team? Well, a lucky deflection falling to Munetsi, who isn't challenged effectively by the Greek Bloke and scores with a fine finish into the corner. We recall bad memories of Burnley. Wolves' half-time team talk will be to run at our shaky defence.

At half-time we're strangely offered four pints of Lost lager by some lads who have over-ordered. It's cold but not very drinkable. The second half begins with Wolves hitting the side-netting. But just as we're getting nervous a good move on the right sees Pablo jump over the ball to free Bowen who finds Mukasa. He has a shot from the edge of the area. The ball takes a big deflection and lopes over Sa. A bit lucky but if you don't shoot you don't score and two goals will kickstart Mukasa's first-team career.

DOUBLE FOR DINOS

On come Veltman and Castellanos in like-for-like substitutions.The crowd get going and West Ham win a corner after a powerful Bowen run and shot is palmed away. Michael says this is the moment for the Greek Bloke. It is indeed. The GB heads Engel's excellent corner on to the bar and then wallops the rebound into the top of the net. He runs to our corner where none of us have ever doubted him.

Just as we're dreaming of five, Wolves break down the right and Tchatchoua's cross is diverted into his own net by Mavropanos. It's been a very mixed evening for the Greek Bloke, though to be fair he's returning from injury.

We're nervous again at 4-2. Kante and Lamadrid come on for Pablo and Mukasa. Matt seems to have missed Andy Burnham's memo about embracing positivity as he bemoans some lacklustre clearances. When there's a late cameo from new signing Austbo, Michael remarks that he isn't the first Asbo we've seen at West Ham.

The Hammers hold on to win and the result is everything — that first win will instil confidence and another boost is that finally the window has shut. In Ye Olde Black Bull we're joined by Matt's two Wainwright-bagging Wolves mates and over Brixton Pale Ale we discuss the projected Big Sam musical as well as those who have played for both clubs such as Kevin Keen and Shaun Newton, who only cost ten grand. We've beaten a team that will probably be our promotion rivals so this is progress even if we are still letting in too many goals. Now for Derby on Saturday.

PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Walker-Peters 6 (Veltman 6), Mavropanos 5, Kilman 6, Scarles 7; Bowen 7, Engels 7, Mukasa 8 (Kante 5), Solomon 6 (Austbo 5); Pablo 7 (Lamadrid 5), Piroe 6 (Castellanos 5).

Drawing drawing West Ham

2026-08-30T13:33:07.204+02:00

Watford 1 West Ham 1

It's an undercover trip to Vicarage Road with Watford fans from my sports book group for this one. Pre-match fare is decidedly upmarket compared to Stratford's egg, chips and beans with a trip to the Fratelli Italian restaurant. I'm joined by the two Peters, Simon and Adrian, a classics teacher hoping for a Homer win. The broccoli tagliatelle is indeed excellent. The only downside is a programme disaster — the club don't print them anymore.

The game begins with the rain coming down, the Watford ultras banging their drum and Elton John's Your Song on the PA, a bit gentle as a rallying cry but nice to hear it again. The lyrics are also written on the back of the stand, which must make Bernie Taupin proud, though he's probably a Lincoln City fan.

Nuno has rather surprisingly dropped Piroe, bringing in Mukasa. Veltman keeps his place and Kyle Walker-Peters is switched to left back while, with the Greek Bloke injured, Golambeckis makes his full league debut.

"Come on your 'Orns!" says the scoreboard and the Hornets do raise their game, causing early problems. Tackles fly in. Kante fires wide with a half-chance but Watford are looking dangerous with the pacy Maamma ("my Maamma we're all crazy now?") causing Walker-Peters problems. Hermansen fists away a dangerous cross and the ball comes out to the tricky Nabizada. Veltman could do a bit better closing him down, but the tricky young Afghanistan winger scores with a clever stepover and chip over Hermansen into the far corner.

One-nil down after 19 minutes and it looks ominous. Watford almost make it two as only a fine save from Hermansen and great block from Walker-Peters deny the Hornets. Thankfully defender Kevin Keben decides to help, possibly trying to shield the ball out of play but ending up dribbling it along the line towards his own goal. The ball almost goes out but the tenacious Taty Castellanos keeps going to nick it into the goalmouth and it's deflected in off Pollock for a comedy goal. Still, we'll take it.

That goal settles the Hammers who then get on top. Much closer to the pitch that at the London Stadium we get to see some Premier League control from Jarrod Bowen as he expertly brings the ball down. "Buy some fucking players!" chant the Watford Ultras, expressing a sentiment West Ham fans would also agree with.

After the break the Hammers have most of the play, though Watford always look dangerous on the break. Bowen has WHU's only shot on target straight at Ravaglia. Bowen's cross then goes dangerously across the face of goal before Solomon has a goal bound shot blocked. Engels comes into the game more and Solomon is dangerous on the left, though the Irons still lack creativity. Nuno brings on Piroe and Orford for Mukasa and Kante.

Piroe shoots wide from a decent position, Solomon cuts in and has another goalbound shot blocked. Watford break and Bravo fires over before the Hornets force a couple of corners.

West Ham almost win it when there's neat interplay between Orford and Castellanos to set up Solomon only to be denied by a great block from Mattie Pollock. He's the sort of centre back we'll see a lot of in the Championship, big, rugged and committed and West Ham have to learn to never mind the Pollocks and find a way to get behind them.

So it ends 1-1, a hard-fought game and a lesson for the Hammers that this season won't be easy. One bonus is that the 18-year-old Golambeckis looked composed at centre back and made some fine interceptions.

There's a chorus of "your getting sacked in the morning!" at the end from the away fans which doesn't help anyone. We're playing a lot of youngsters and new signings and it's going to take time to gel. It's five games in, including the Carabao Cup, and we've won two, drawn two and lost one. Let's see what comes before the window closes and then judge Nuno in the autumn.

So it's a wet slog past the Yellow Brick Road mural to Watford High Street station. Two away draws in the league this season isn't a disaster but we now have to pick up wins at home starting with the next two games against Wolves and Derby. After those we'll have a clearer idea where our season is going.

PLAYER RATINGS; Hermansen 7; Veltman 6, Golambeckis 7, Kilman 6, Walker-Peters 6; Bowen 7, Kante 5 (Orford 6), Engels 6, Mukasa 5 (Piroe 5), Solomon 7, Castellanos 6.

If the kids are United: Hammers' comeback stuns Saints

2026-08-26T12:51:41.015+02:00

Southampton 1 West Ham 4 (four) (Carabao Cup)

Nigel and Big Sam are at this one to see West Ham's side of kids in the Carabao Cup. It's a brave selection from Nuno starting with youngsters Herrick, Golambeckis, Mayers, Kante, Orford, Lamadrid, Mukasa and Josh Ajala up front. Max Kilman is on babysitting duty. Billy Bragg is in midfield for the Saints, hoping to be called up for Tuchel's new England.

It looks like the weakened Hammers will be going out after ten minutes when Kilman's header is gathered by Scienza who slaloms across the area without a challenge and slides it past Herrick. "One-nil to the empty seats!" chant the West Ham fans, referencing the empty stand at St Mary's.

But slowly the Irons grow into the game. Lamadrid has a shot, Kilman heads a corner wide and some nifty footwork from Piroe produces a good save.

West Ham are level when keeper Peretz gets under Orford's corner and Josh Ajala is at the back post to head home an easy first goal for the Hammers.

The Irons take the lead early in the second half when Stephens' clearance falls to Ajala who scores with a quick finish. That's a lovely moment for Ajala who definitely has something about him and might save the club a lot of money.

Nuno brings on four first-teamers in Bowen, Castellanos, Engels and Solomon on 59 minutes. Golambeckis's long ball is gathered by the overlapping Veltman who sets up Taty for a tap-in. Encouragingly Taty is all smiles after his goal and doesn't look like a player who might seek a move before the window closes. Its gets better as Orford finds Bowen, who cuts inside the Saints' defence for a typical finish to make it 4-1.

There are a lot of positives from this. Ajala got two goals, Orford had two assists, Golambeckis and Herrick marked their full debuts with a win, it's more experience for Kante, Lamadrid and Mayers and Mukasa looks a skilful addition for the season. Agent Nigel reports that Veltman was excellent too.

This is a morale-boosting result after the Charlton defeat and now some of these players must be pushing to start at Watford. The Cup Final breakfast at Nigel's gaff remains on. Come on you Irons!

Defensive woes gift win to Addicks

2026-08-23T14:18:50.644+02:00

West Ham United 1 Charlton Athletic 2

In the Best Meze Cafe we find a full turn-out of Nigel, Matt, Lisa, Big Sam and Michael. Matt is regaling us with stories of the colleague who thought Dannii Minogue was a man and then the ace trivia fact that Charlton's Nathaniel Chalobah once played six minutes for England.

Michael leaves early to buy a replica West Ham shirt with Bowen's name on the back. He's been talking about not renewing his season ticket all summer, drinking whisky after hours in Rick's Cafe and reminiscing about George Parris. But now, in Victor Lazlo fashion, we welcome him back to the fight — and this time we know our side probably won't win.

Before the match Mystic Matt has predicted that we need to keep any eye on the speedy Tyreece Campbell and that we don't want to concede an early goal as Charlton are strong defensively. So we duly concede a goal from a throw-in after seven minutes. Mavropanos and Kante leave it to each other, the ball bounces and Jones scores with an overhead kick. Hermansen could possibly have reacted a bit quicker.

For the rest of the half West Ham pass it round without any real penetration. Walker-Peters is lucky when he is robbed and Leaburn fires into the side netting on the break. Solomon looks lively and has a goal-bound shot blocked and that's about it. Engels is busy but isn't as yet improving our dialectical materialism. Scarles gets in good crossing positions but can't find a free man and the double striker partnership of Castellanos and Piroe isn't working. Just before the break Scarles does find the head of Taty, but he can only head straight at Okonkwo.

At half-time there's a massive queue at the water point which makes you wonder if Thames Water are in charge. The second half sees Nuno brings on Orford for Kante. But before that change can bring results the Hammers are two goals down. The Greek Bloke should play it simple to Kilman but instead tries to beat his man and is tackled by Leaburn. The Charlton striker finds Campbell who races through to score with a fine finish. Was that Dinos thinking he's still a Premier League player? You can't be complacent in this division and he's clearly missing Disasi alongside him.

West Ham do give it a go after that. Orford looks after the ball well and Bowen responds to the crowd getting behind him. Solomon sets up Piroe for an effort saved by Okonkwo. Taty heads wide from Scarles' cross. Bowen can't quite connect from Piroe's cross. Nuno hauls off the Greek Bloke and Scarles for Veltman and Mukasa, our former Academy product now loaned back from Man City.

On 74 minuted comes a lifeline. Bowen gets in a decent cross, Taty's effort is saved by Okonkwo but Piroe is there to fire into the roof of the net for a good poacher's goal. Engels wins the ball to find Bowen and from Jarrod's cross Mukasa fires in a first-time shot that is brilliantly saved by the impressive Okonkwo. A good start from young Mukasa. Then Bowen cuts inside two defenders in a trademark run to fire just wide.

SPOT OF BOTHER

In the 93rd minute Solomon finds Mukasa who plays it to Orford on the edge of the box. His shot is blocked by our former man Conor Coventry with an outstretched arm and it's a penalty. There's mystification in the crowd as Castellanos goes to take it rather than Bowen. Has the official penalty-taker been changed? If not then Bowen should have asserted his authority as captain. It heaps pressure on Castellanos. He does one of those irritating stop-start penalties and strikes the ball against the post. If it's the last kick of the game then just blast it.

So it's a very poor start of one point from six. We've lost to a team managed by a character from a Bananarama song in Nathan Jones. Though had that penalty gone in we might have had something to hold on to. Still, some of the rancour online is a bit over-the-top. The Hammers certainly have to cut out the defensive errors, but the last half an hour was encouraging even if we need to improve the crossing and stop passing sideways. We have to remember that Piroe, Engels and Mukasa were making their debuts and Solomon was only in his second game. We managed to lose a game having 77 per cent possession and 25 shots. On that basis results will surely come, though on the other hand Nuno could be gone if we don't get results against Watford, Wolves and Derby.

In the Eagle the Guinness is refreshingly cold and Nigel is reminiscing about 1970s quiz show Mr and Mrs and Mind Your Language and why Richard O'Sullivan supported Southampton in Man About The House, while Michael knows a lot about The Golden Shot. Michael is fresh from watching Mark Almond supporting Bucks Fizz and proudly displays a picture of himself with Jay Aston.

Meanwhile Matt has discovered that Piroe is the 100th West Ham player to score on his debut and asks us to name the rest. Nigel and Sam are heading to Southampton on Tuesday and you wonder what sort of side Nuno will put out. The big game is now against Elton John's boys on Saturday. We have to acclimatise to this division and quickly.

PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Walker-Peters 5, Mavropanos 4 (Veltman 6), Kilman 6, Scarles 6 (Mukasa 6); Engels 6, Kante 5 (Orford 7); Bowen 7, Castellanos 5, Piroe 6, Solomon 6.

Hammers blow lead in claret and blue derby: Fullkrug and AWB go while Piroe signs

2026-08-19T17:04:03.898+02:00

Burnley 2 West Ham 2

Watched this one at the Royal Oak in Lewes while on a mini-break in Sussex. The Irons' game has one screen while the rest of the pub is watching some minor match between Arsenal and Man City.

My pint of Long Man is good and the Hammers stroke it around quite well early on. WHU take an early lead when Bowen's corner is nodded home by Max Kilman, who has lost his marker. His first goal for the club and a confidence-booster for Max.

Manor Solomon is giving the Hammers a better shape on the left but the eager but callow centre midfield of Kante and Orford is prone to getting caught on the break. Burnley slice a good chance wide and Hermansen's poor clearance also gifts them a chance. But at the break West Ham seem to be in control.

Pablo goes off injured at half-time and on comes James Ward-Prowse. Burnley come out looking much more determined. We forget to mark Flemming. First the Burnley man heads against the post and then has another header headed off the line by Ollie Scarles.

Bowen can't really get into the game and Taty is well-marshalled, but it looks over when Kante makes a surging run down the right, just keeping the ball in play, and fires in a low cross that is parried out by the Weiss and Solomon is on hand to shoot home.

It looks like an easy win from there on until the 83rd minute when Scarles, who has played well otherwise, lunges in and gives a penalty away with a rash challenge on Edwards. Flemming duly converts.

West Ham drop deep England-style and concede several corners. In the 92nd minute there's a melee from a corner and Flemming is on hand to scuff it home. Nice to know we still can't hold on to a lead. Burnley deserve their point and this is proof it won't be easy in the Championship.

A point away from home isn't a disaster, particularly with Kante and Orford making their full league debuts, but the Hammers need to be more ruthless. Michael the Whovian makes an interesting point on WhatsApp when he notes that we faded after Pablo went off. His heresy du jour is that, "although he doesn't score Pablo is very effective in closing down the back four and defensive midfielders. He breaks them up. He also brings balance to the side and gives confidence to Taty."

At least Engels might improve our means of production. Now Fullkrug has departed on loan to Bremen, probably still very angry, and Wan-Bissaka has been loaned to Aston Villa. We've finally signed a striker in Joel Piroe from Leeds, who looked very effective in the Championship where he was top scorer when Leeds won the title, but couldn't really do it in the Premier League. Encouragingly the Dutch-born striker and Surinam international also scored a goal every two games for Swansea in the Championship during his two seasons in Wales.

He might be the next Ricardo Vaz Te as he failed to score for Leeds in 16 Premier League games but can certainly play at this level — and did have to compete with Calvert-Lewin last season. My fellow season-ticket holder Matt points out that West Ham have never had a player called Joel and in the space of a few days now have two in Joel Piroe and Joel Veltman. Billy Joel might be arriving next.

So let's see what Charlton can do on Saturday when confronted with a full house at the London Stadium. The rebuild is still underway, but we have to pick up points at home. COYI!

Engels arrives to improve condition of the East London working classes

2026-08-15T11:42:57.432+02:00

West Ham seem to have finally got their man with Arne Engels having a medical after the club agreed a £22m fee with Celtic, rising to £25m with add-ons — a record signing for the Championship. Bids for Lenin and Marx have not as yet been accepted, though admittedly these might be a hard sell in Clacton. But full marks to the club for only signing players with an eye to headlines for this blog.

Nils Koppen has made a big effort to sign him and presumably Nuno sees him as performing a similar role too Mateus Fernandes. He's billed as a right-sided midfielder who can also play at right-back. As he won't be replacing Jarrod Bowen he'll presumably be alongside him on the centre right of midfield. Looking at the videos, which is never entirely reliable, he seems to be a hard-working box-to-box midfielder who is good at receiving the ball and turning. He's scored a few goals for Celtic and can also take decent corners. Arne is a famous Belgian who has won the league with Celtic, which is certainly an improvement on signing players from relegated clubs. He should have a winning mentality. Will we be loving Engels instead? Let's hope so.

Wisdom of Solomon?

2026-08-11T11:24:03.610+02:00

So Manor Solomon has arrived from Spurs for £5 million with £2 million extra if West Ham get promoted. Football wise he solves a problem on the left wing. Always thought he looked pretty handy at Fulham when he scored five goals in 25 appearances, many as a sub, during the 2022-23 season. He won the league three times with Shakhtar Donetsk in Ukraine. What will have impressed the club most is the role he played in winning Leeds the Championship title in 2024-25, scoring ten goals and getting 12 assists. He's a fine crosser and good at drifting in at the back post. Solomon can clearly do it at Championship level. Manor didn't have much of a look-in at Spurs last season and was loaned to Villareal and Fiorentina, scoring there goals and getting a few more assists despite mainly being a sub.

Politically, buying Solomon will be controversial after Israel's decimation of Gaza. He did his national service in the Israeli Defence Force in 2017, but wouldn't have had any choice in that. Solomon also posted support for his country and the victims of the Hamas atrocities on October 7th which is understandable and claims not to have made any anti-Palestine statements. I'm not sure what else he has said online, though he's apparently been pro-Israel in the war, but as a general principle it would be wrong to hold any one Israeli citizen accountable for the genocidal actions of Netanyahu's government. Solomon has said he doesn't want to talk about politics on signing for West Ham and that seems best for all as the last thing the cub needs is more controversy. He's a footballer primarily and joins Eyal Berkovic and Yossi Benayoun in the list of Israeli Hammers. Let's see what he can do.

Taty and Bowen see off Pompey

2026-08-09T15:54:44.059+02:00

West Ham United 3 Portsmouth 1 (Carabao Cup, first round)

"Only Jesus can save you," read the banners held by the God Squadders outside Stratford station, which is a little pessimistic for a new season. In the Best Meze Cafe are Matt and Lisa, fresh from a safari in Tanzania where they saw three lions but missed the World Cup semi-final. After special pleading we are allowed to order off the breakfast menu and our food arrives with unusual alacrity.

Outside the London Stadium they're no longer selling programmes, while inside the official programme tent has sold out. A lad is dispatched to get extra boxes and after a ten-minute wait I finally get my programme with Lamadrid on the front but no column from any of our numerous owners. Worryingly we're 21st after no games in the first published league table of the season.

We're joined by Nigel and CQ soaking up the big-game atmosphere. It's a record attendance of 53,369 for a League Cup first round tie and yet more proof of the West Ham' fans incredible loyalty.

A nice surprise is seeing Edson Alvarez in midfield. If we can keep him the big Mexican World Cup star can surely do a job in the Championship and he's ok here. David Sullivan is at the match and is informed by the fans that the Cockney Boys have got a new defender.

It's a nervy first 40 minutes from the Hammers as Portsmouth force several corners. Alvarez gets in a header straight at the keeper from a corner, but Kante looks out of position on the left and Orford isn't seeing much of the ball. The hydration break comes as a relief, though most West Ham fans seem to have hydrated on beer. "You sold your soul for this shithole!" chant the 9000 away fans, not very originally. Meanwhile Matt has had his first doubts of the season about the match day officials.

Pompey take the lead when Kilman heads clear but Segecic shoots from long-range and it deflects in off the unlucky Max. Hermansen spills but retrieves another long-range effort and that seems to wake West Ham up.

Two minutes before the break Orford does well to find Scarles on the left. He plays it to Kante who drives into the box and produces a great pull-back to bamboozle his man and then crosses for Taty Castellanos to score with a controlled finish. That was the 20-year-old Kante's first assist and a sign of the player he could become.

Deep into added time Scarles does well to head Alvarez's long ball back to Pablo. After a quick exchange of passes Pablo blunders into the box and slightly overruns it, but there is Jarrod Bowen to thump home a fine strike that takes a deflection off Shaughnessy. That's an assist for Pablo which might do his confidence some good.

At half-time Matt is amazed when Nigel goes early and eats his lucky banana, but the lad is undoubtedly feeling confident and even suggests that soft fruit might not affect the outcome. Meanwhile CQ has miraculously found some cups and free club water which she dispenses like a latter-day Florence Nightingale.

The Irons start the second half with good intensity and Walker-Peters and Bowen combine well on the right as Taty is foiled by a fine block from Devlin. KWP and Jarrod combine again on 50 minutes as Jarrod looks up to cross on to the head of Castellanos to make it 3-1.

The game is disjointed after that, with injuries and hydration breaks and one Pompey effort going just wide. Ward-Prowse gets his first minutes under Nuno and doesn't seem too popular with the away fans.

Orford forces a save from Schmid. Veltman comes on for ten minutes and looks lively on the right. His run sees Pablo, under pressure, strike the post. Will the Portugeezer ever score for West Ham? Late on Max Kilman, who has played well, makes a great interception and run from defence to set up Kyle Walker-Peters whose shot is well saved by Schmidt. It's good to see Josh Ajala get his debut for the final two minutes.

We hastily trek to the Eagle after persuading Matt not to take on the Pompey away crew. Here there's a solitary bottle of Ruddles in the fridge, plus Guinness, wine and Corona to take into the garden. Nigel's been to see Metallica in Cardiff and even better another heavy metal outfit called the Wurzels. While Matt's very excited to be going to Erith & Belvedere versus Billingshurst in the FA Cup and Lisa reminisces about giraffes, a bloat of hippos, hyenas and jackals in the Serengeti.

So a decent start to the season though the squad needs more signings. The full-backs played well, Kilman and the Greek Bloke looked solid at the back and Taty and Bowen will always score goals. Kante got an assist and Orford grew into the game though a midfield creator and a left winger are still needed. Now the proper stuff starts at Burnley. Come on you Irons!

PLAYER RATINGS: Hermansen 6; Walker-Peters 7, Kilman 7, Mavropanos 6, Scarles 7; Alvarez 6 (Diouf 6), Orford 6, Kante 6 (Ward-Prowse 6); Bowen 8 (Ajana n/a), Castellanos 8 (Veltman 7), Pablo 6.

The Cockney Boys have got a defender

2026-08-06T16:05:38.177+02:00

West Ham have finally made our second signing of the summer in Joel Veltman on a free from Brighton. At 34 he's not one for the future, but can certainly do a job for the coming season. I've seen him score against West Ham (most players have) in the 4-0 defeat at Brighton in 2023 and Veltman is a good solid Premier League defender. He made 24 appearances for Brighton last season and helped them finish eighth and qualify for the Uefa Conference League. He's won three titles with Ajax, has 28 international caps with the Netherlands and should provide leadership and experience at the back. Veltman can play at both right-back and centre back which will provide competition to Walker-Peters, Mavropanos and Kilman.

Meanwhile Freddie Potts has gone to Bruges for £10 million. It's always sad to see an Academy player go particularly when he's the son of Steve Potts. It's a little surprising he's been let go, but the money will count as pure profit and suggests that Nuno is confident of signing Engels from Celtic. The gaffer clearly sees potential in 20-year-old Mohamadou Kante in central midfield while Magassa will hopefully thrive in a lower division and Soucek will return at some stage. Then there's Lewis Orford and James Ward-Prowse might be back in favour too. Potts will be a steady midfielder for Bruges but could have struggled for game time this season, so his departure might be good for his career.

Meanwhile Kretinsky and Amanda Staveley are locked in a two-month battle to buy WHU shares, with David Sullivan possibly deciding who gets ultimate control and becoming even richer in the process. It's not great to have even more uncertainty, but there's £155 million banked and several more signings required. Let's hope Veltman is the first of many.

Deal or no deal? Staveley overtakes Kretinsky in fight for Gold shares?

2026-08-02T11:38:34.315+02:00

Just when West Ham needed clarity on who runs the club the news comes that Vanessa Gold has now decided to sell her shares to Amanda Staveley, influential deal-maker with the Middle East and former part-owner of Newcastle United, plus her husband the Iranian businessman Mehrdad Ghodoussi, in partnership with Ashland Forest Capital Partners, whoever they might be. In June it was announced that Gold was selling to Kretinsky to make him the majority shareholder; now Vanessa Gold says that this deal, “could not be brought to fruition”.

Meanwhile Kretinsky’s camp state that pre-emption rights still allow him to bid for Gold’s shares. A West Ham statement says this will take two months to sort out: “The proposed transaction will now be subject to a pre-emption rights process. This provides all existing shareholders with the opportunity to acquire their proportional percentage of shares in round one, and any remaining shares in round two. This process will take approximately two months and, until it is completed, nothing will change regarding the ownership structure of the Club.”

A spokesman for Kretinsky said: "The agreement we had reached with the Gold family in June provided stability for the club at a crucial time. Today's announcement does the opposite.

Staveley is certainly an interesting character. She is the daughter of wealthy Yorkshire businessman, went to private school and dropped out of Cambridge University. She then set up a restaurant called Stocks, close to Newmarket racecourse, through which she made contacts with lots of wealthy Middle Eastern racehorse owners.

TALK OF THE TOON

Staveley founded a failed company called Q.ton, then moved to Dubai and advised on a number of big deals including Abu Dhabi investment in Barclays, Abu Dhabi’s ownership of Manchester City and the the Saudi Arabian Public Investment Fund’s purchase of Newcastle, which was criticised for sportswashing.

She also made a bid for Spurs and once dated Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, facts which are probably best left off her CV. With gaffs in Park Lane and Dubai she presumably won’t be eating in the Best Meze Cafe before games. She’s also been diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease, a condition made worse by stress, so West Ham might not be the wisest move.

Judging by her time at Newcastle Staveley is good at fronting a club and not a woman to be messed with. But can she work with Kretinsky if her bid is successful? Meanwhile David Sullivan is still the club’s biggest shareholder.

On the football front West Ham have had a bid for Engels knocked back by Celtic. He’s reportedly checking out the condition of the working class in Essex before deciding if he wants to move to Das Kapital. In the 1-1 draw at Magdeburg Kante looked quite strong and effective in a central midfield role and Mavropanos and Kilman did well at the back, though it’s hard to read much into these games. Meanwhile Freddie Potts looks to be on his way to Bruges.

But most of the interesting stuff is happening off the pitch. Will the ownership battle affect the players? We have to hope not. Would Staveley try to bring in her old gaffer Eddie Howe? The last thing the club needs is two months of not knowing who is really in charge.

Massive: The Miracle of Prague by Pete May is available from Biteback Publishing, price 12.99

Summerville goes: Greek Bloke to stay?

2026-07-25T10:55:33.300+02:00

So Jimmy Summerville has finally left us this way. Somehow the Kretinsky regime has got us cheering on selling our best players, basically because we’re getting over the odds for them. Jimmy was set to move to Roma for £50m before Al-Hilal stepped in with a £60m offer. It’s a strange career move for a 24-year-old, but perhaps the reported £1000-an-hour wages helped. That’s £145m in the bank for the club from selling Fernandes and Summerville.

Summerville had a great World Cup and a cracking last half of the season for WHU. But he is very injury-prone and missed half of his initial season with injury while taking a long time to get up to speed in 2025-26. However he very nearly kept us up and I’ll remember his fine body swerve before scoring at Fulham, plus vital goals at Spurs and Burnley. He had a good goal disallowed against Forest and was very unlucky hitting the bar against Brentford. Good luck in Saudi Jimmy, though they might not play the Communards much there.

FRIENDLY FIRE

Of course players now need to be bought, though looking at the pre-season friendlies there are a lot of young players who might fancy getting games in the Championship namely Orford, Earthy, Golambeckis, Potts, Scarles, Magassa, Mayers, Kante and Marshall. Might forgotten man James Ward-Prowse be retained for his dead-balls? And could Kilman recover his confidence in the Championship? We’ve even seen Maxwel Cornet playing in the friendly at Stevenage, as viewed by Chris Packham. Nuno has to assess what we now have very carefully.

Another good thing is that now Karren Brady has departed the relationship between the club and London Stadium LLP seems to be improving. It has to with the stadium losing them £19m a year. Chair Lyn Garner has suggested painting the seats claret and blue in order to make the stadium “less sterile” and playing women’s games there which West Ham would fund and seems a good idea. Though playing more away games early on to facilitate September concerts is a non-starter.

Overall we’ve got the cash the club wanted by selling just two players, Bowen is staying and the club seems to be making progress off the field. Now the Hammers just need to sign some players.

Massive: The Miracle of Prague by Pete May is available from Biteback Publishing, price 12.99.

Jarrod Bowen's on hire

2026-07-19T17:44:22.289+02:00

It’s a huge boost to West Ham’s promotion hopes that Jarrod Bowen is staying at the club. Even more significantly it’s a sign that Daniel Kretinsky is taking a hands-on interest in running the club after years of David Sullivan blunders. Jarrod flew to Prague to talk to Kretinsky and director Jiri Svarc and said, “the ambition that I got from them, certainly in terms of the direction the club wants to move in, it interests me a lot.” Bowen has signed a revised contract which reportedly gives him the option of leaving if West Ham don't gain promotion, so it's all down to next season.

Bowen will have been helped by the fact that wife Danni Dyer is a Hammers’ fan, as is father-in-law Danny Dyer, now a sex symbol on Rivals. Danny presumably had a few words with young Jarrod about how to be a top geezer. Interestingly Bowen mentions happiness as being one of his priorities and he’s probably concluded that one season at a mid-level Premier League club couldn't match being a lifelong hero at West Ham for showing such loyalty. His winner in Prague cemented the bond between captain and fans and Jarrod mentions he will be a fan himself when he retires — there’s a space next to us in the Billy Bonds stand if he’s interested.

The best thing about Bowen staying is that it might encourage other players to remain loyal, hopefully including the Greek Bloke who scored in the friendly at Southend. Summerville will go as will Todibo and probably Wan-Bissaka, but we stand a chance of keeping most of the squad intact. A 46-game marathon is coming up and with Jarrod still an Iron the club feels a lot more united.

Massive: The Miracle of Prague by Pete May is available from Biteback Publishing, price 12.99.

The West Ham Syndrome and my part in it

2026-07-12T19:38:39.949+02:00

Here's some more podcast banter while we wait for West Ham to unveil a plethora of new signings. Enjoyed chatting to Max and Andrew on the West Ham Syndrome about the books what I wrote. Click on the link to sample.

Draft includer: West Ham's greatest relegation XI

2026-07-12T19:19:19.148+02:00

Good fun as always to appear on the Stop! Hammer Time podcast. This time we had a version of the US Draft system, with four managers — myself, Jim Grant, Steve Law and Trevor Drane — picking sides of players relegated with West Ham. The four managers took it in turns to select four really high-quality sides. Trevor Brooking went first of course, but West Ham have also managed to relegate players like Bonds, Devonshire, Martin, Di Canio, McAvennie, Carrick, Cole, Johnson, Bowen, Parkes, Dicks, Lampard Senior and many other brilliant players. Five relegations and a lot of mismanagement has gone into that achievement. Still we enjoyed doing it and to find out our selections click on the link.