Hand Over the Cookies!

December 2009

2012-02-20T20:44:00.000-06:00

Happy 7 Months Andrew!

Okay, now that my baby has survived over half of a year I feel confident enough to reveal my bad mother moments. Bad mother moment number 1: Drew was little, I was just getting comfortable carrying him around. He was sleeping in my arms when I had to get something, I walked through the doorway only to misjudge where his head was and where the door frame was. I whacked his head on the door! Oh my god, there was a red splotch where his head hit the door. when Drew is older and people ask geez did your mom drop you when you were a baby he can say no, she ran me into a door! The crazy thing, he didn't even wake up, just shifted positions. I was seriously going to wake him up, what if he had a concussion and I was letting him sleep. Oh my god, I'm a horrible mother. Children only have one head and here I am wrecking it! Well he lived so now it's onto bad mother moment number 2: I bathe Drew often with soap and water, I thought I knew how to wash babies properly....no. I was giving Drew a baby massage with oil when all this crud slid out from one of his thigh folds. It was fuzz, dead skin, and whatever else. I understand you have to wash in the fat folds, I didn't know I would need a power washer to get in there and blast the stuff out. A gentle scrub doesn't get to the bottom of the caverns that Drew has. Along with that comes bad mother moment number 3: Babies don't have necks and until 3 months when they can stabilize their heads it's hard to do anything with their neck area. Drew tilted his head back one day and yuck, I saw I had missed cleaning under there. I did wash under his chin but like the fat rolls it's a black pit that just sucks in gunk. Even now I miss things from time to time, Drew hates having his neck cleaned. And finally bad mother moment number 4. Why does Drew hate getting shirts on? Oh my god, I bent his tiny baby finger back when pulling the sleeve on. He makes fists all the time, why did he decide to stretch his fingers out now?! My poor baby, I can't carry you, clean you, or dress you. At least I know how to feed you!!!!

12/6/09: Drew is so smart...SO SMART! he was eating and started crying. I didn't know why, he then did the sign for drink, not milk, but drink. I went and got his juice. He drank 1/2 an ounce and was done. I tried to feed him more dinner and he held up his hand (like talk to the hand). He told me he was all done (all done is turning your hand but he can't do that yet, he just holds it up). I took him out of the highchair and he was crying and doing the eat sign. I tried giving him a couple different things but he wouldn't eat them. I then picked up the container of cereal and he got all happy, he knew he wanted cereal and he told me. I love it! I can not believe how fast he picked up eat and drink. I worked for 2 months for him to learn milk and in a week he picked up the others. Time for mommy to hit the books and learn some more signs.
*Drew finally said Dada :)

12/7/09: Drew saw his 1st snow today. He wanted to pick it up but he was unsure the minute his hands touched it. There's a short video.
Drew has learned all done in sign language. I put Ethan in the jumper and Drew looked at him then looked at me and did the all done sign, I don;t think Drew wanted Ethan to use the jumper. Very funny!

12/11/09: One year ago I was doing the same thing I am now. Sitting up in the middle of the night, freezing, updating my website, wide awake while hubby sleeps. The only difference now is that I can see the baby resting on my lap. My poor Drew, why doesn't he sleep? He wants to sleep but he wakes up crying about every 2 hours. Most times he doesn't even really wake up, he's crying but his eyes are still closed and he acts asleep. He doesn't need anything that I can figure out. He isn't hungry, he doesn't need closeness since he is 100% co-sleeping now. What's wrong? He cries out like he's in pain and he won't stop until I sit him up. Is it reflux? I can hear odd little noises from him. He also whimpers a lot in his sleep and squirms around. Why can't he just get comfortable and go to sleep? I am so tired and I feel so bad for him. He wakes if I'm holding him too, something is going on and I just don't know what to do or who to ask for help.

12/12/09: Andrew discovered he has control over his tongue. He spent today sticking his tongue out and trying to lick his nose.
We went to the arboretum today to look at the Christmas trains, Drew loved studying each one, he is so serious when he sees something new. We also met author Jim Aylesworth and Drew got his first signed book, The Mitten.

12/13/09: Drew got to hear Mommy's French Horn today :)
On a side note, I got a new camera and it's giving me trouble uploading pictures to this site. I'll get it sorted out soon.

12/17/09: Well I'm not watching another baby anymore so now Drew has me all to himself. Yesterday we went to Gymboree. I am glad that I get to go because Drew is so clingy clingy. The class is 45 minutes and about every 10 minutes Drew needs to be picked up and cuddled. Every other baby is fine for the class but not my little Drew bug. He will play and crawl for a bit then need cuddle time, we'll sing and do parachute then he'll need cuddle time. He turns to me whenever he is lonely, scared, hurt, or trying something new. He loves me :)
Today we went to lapsit at the library, it's a free program for little ones. Again he needed momma throughout the program, and this one is only 30 minutes long. He is my little stick tight. I guess that's not a bad thing, I love it but can get worn out real fast some days. He is hugging me back most times I pick him up. Ahhh, I love his hugs. I think he tried kissing me the other day too. I kiss him a billion times a day and sometimes do big noisy smooches. They other day he kept mushing his face into mine and going BA and pulling away. I think it was like when I go Muah and kiss him. So so so so so cute!

12/20/09: I used to see these dirty strollers and dirty high chairs and think why would people let their stuff get that dirty, I mean wash it once in a while. Ohhh, now I get it. It doesn't take months or weeks or even days for something to get disgustingly grossly encrusted with baby goo. It takes one snack time, not even a meal, just a snack for the high chair, car seat, and for the baby himself to be covered head to toe with sticky baby mess. I wonder what baby spit is made of? It's stickier than any glue I've ever seen and it won't wash off.
Tonight Drew had mashed peas, he has so much fun playing with his food. I'm fine with it too, I mean it's messy, really really messy but you're only little once, have fun mash your peas, rub carrots in your hair, pretty soon it won't be socially acceptable. I'm sure he's learning something by playing with food too. He's so silly with his food and what he will eat. At our Christmas party he had a cucumber and a tomato, he loved them. And at home he's been eating pickles. What a silly baby, he won't eat green beans but he'll eat pickles and tomatoes.
Got another bad mother moment for you...Drew has a cough, I'm sure it's nothing just dry winter air. Hmm, the cough is getting worse. Maybe I'll need to call the Dr...wait what's that in your mouth? Is that? Oh my god, Drew had scotch tape in his mouth and was coughing because it was tickling his throat. Where the heck did he get the scotch tape? He ripped it off one of the presents! Naughty baby! Naughty mommy!

12/23/09:
Drew had his first bowl of pasta :)
Drew wants in to those presents under the tree. He keeps crawling over and trying to play drums on them and eat them. He plays drums on everything. He turns his food bowl upside down and bangs on it, his block box, his xylophone, everything becomes a bongo drum!

12/25/09:
Merry 1st Christmas Drew!
Drew did pretty good today, he enjoyed helping mommy and daddy open presents and he liked banging on the boxes. He wasn't excited over the toys at first but as the day went on he really enjoyed playing with the new toys. Christmas took a long time this year :) Half way through opening we had to stop for a milk break and some cuddle time. I love my little Drew bug. I posted some videos of today. The hit toy was this ball popping thing. It's pretty fun!
Funny story that Drew will hate me for...
Drew had a wardrobe malfunction this morning and needed a new outfit so I stripped him down and went upstairs to find a new festive outfit. When I came down I see my naked little boy shoving oatmeal on himself, it looked like he was trying to feed his penis oatmeal. So funny!

12/26/09:
I just wanted to say I am happy with the way my life is. Money is fun to have but I don't think that every penny needs to be spent on kids for Christmas. I am happy with what Drew received and he got more than I expected from Grandmas and his Aunt and Uncle. Perhaps I watched the Grinch too much as a kid but Christmas really isn't about the gifts, yes that's the fun part, but Christmas is about the time surrounding the holiday. The making cookies with family, decorating, reading stories together, just being together and staying inside. Children need to learn that they can't have every single little thing in the world. I think that's the problem with so many kids, they get everything the second they want it and they have so much that they don't appreciate what they do have. I know my brother and I got a lot of what we wanted when we were young but I also know that we heard the words 'no' and 'not today' as well. It is hard to not feel a little jealous when you see what other people get and know that they must have dropped more than a mortgage payment on their kid for Christmas but when you think back to your childhood memories it's not the toys that stand out but the moments that you did things with your loved ones. I love my family and I thank everyone for making my Christmas special this year.

12/28/09:

12/29/09:
Drew pulled himself up today!
I've started trying to get Drew back into his crib. I don't mind if he co-sleeps every once in a while but it's getting too much. I am not getting enough sleep, not even close! Last night I felt like Dumbo's mother. I was sitting on the floor reaching my arm through the slats of the crib holding on to Drew and singing to him. If I knew all the words to baby mine I probably would have sang that song :) It took 30 minutes but Drew fell asleep in his own crib...now, how to keep him there. He woke up an hour later and wanted me. This is when I don't know what to do. I can't let him cry, I live in a town house, it's small. If he cries Gary is woken up, so it's easier to pick him up and make him stop crying. At least then one person in the house gets sleep.

1/1/2010
Happy New Year!
Drew celebrated by sleeping, and even sleeping in until 9:15! That means mommy got to sleep in too!

Baby Me

2012-02-20T20:35:00.001-06:00

When going through Drew's old website I came across a couple pictures of me I had posted. Here I am, I think my kids look just like me :)

I was really surprised to see this one. I am a year old in this last picture and I didn't know I made that little pulled in lip face. Kara does that all the time and I think it's adorable! I didn't know she was taking after me :) I love looking at family pictures and seeing resemblances.

November 2009

2012-02-20T20:07:00.000-06:00

Happy Half Birthday Andrew!

Happy 6 months Andrew! I can not believe my baby is 6 months old. 6 months! Where does the time go. It's sad really, how fast he's growing up. He's my baby, and probably my only baby. This is the only time in my whole entire life that I'll get to snuggle with my little one and he's not staying little :( It's not fair. When you think how long I've wanted to be a mom and then add the 9 months that I had to tote my little one around without knowing him I don't even get to hold him a fraction of that time as my baby. Never again will I get to enjoy these days of sitting on the couch for hours just holding my little one while he gazes up at me. He's already crawling (his version of crawling) by the time he's 9 months old he will probably be up and running away from me. One thing that I do enjoy is that I am still nursing him. He still gets close snuggle time with me, he has no choice. I know sometime in the next 6 months he will probably decide he's had enough and wean himself but until he does that I'm not going to encourage it, besides who wants to pay for formula when they make better stuff for free! This is part of the problem with sleeping, I don't mind him snuggled next to be 5 out of the 7 nights a week but sometimes I would like it if he would just sleep alone so I could get a good nights sleep. My heart just breaks into a million pieces when I hear him cry for me though I can't leave him alone in his crib, I just can't. When in your life will someone want you and love you that much? It makes me feel so special, I don't think it's a bad thing to make myself feel good and my baby happy at the same time. There is just one problem, the other day I was out shopping when I looked down and realized that my sweater was inside out! And Drew didn't even tell me! I am that sleep deprived, frazzled mom that can't even dress herself! Someday you will see me in line at the bank with one blue shoe and one black shoe, hair disheveled, and stickers stuck on my butt. Please just smile and know while I may look like a mess I am loving every minute of being a mommy.

Dr. Update: Drew is 19lbs 7oz and 25 inches long. He's in the 75th percentile for weight, the 85th for head circumference, and only the 10th for height. My little guy.

11/8/09: Drew did his first sign! I asked him if he wanted milk and I did the sign for milk and then he did it back to me!! That's so exciting! I've been doing 3 signs with him since he was 4 months old, I am so excited that he's catching on. That will be cool if he can communicate with me before he can talk, but he is "talking" a lot.
Drew also held a ball in each hand today. He's been picking stuff up with both hands but he's had trouble with the little balls that go in the gumball machine. Today he had one in his right hand and then picked one up with his left. He's growing up so much every day.
Today Drew tried mashed potatoes. He had fun mashing them even more himself and he even ate some. He has so much fun eating food but he doesn't really like when mommy feeds him baby food.

11/9/09: Drew slept 4 hours in his crib. It's getting better, but still not what I imagined it would be 6 months ago. I can't do the cry it out anymore. I tried, I really really tried and after hours and hours of Drew crying I would go into his room to find his face and eyes puffy and tear streaked and his voice raspy from crying so much. It's not worth it. I would rather have a baby that sleeps with me that torture my child night after night. I tried for almost 20 days, I just don't like hearing my baby cry that much, it can't be good for him. I'll do it my way and eventually he will sleep on his own. You don't see too many high school boys crawling in their mom and dad's bed ;)

11/10/09: Drew reached for a bubble today! We went to lapsit at the library again today where we sang and read stories and played with bubbles. He has been looking at the bubbles but today was the first time he reached his hands up. Maybe he's enjoying all the activities that him and mommy are getting to do.

11/11/09: I know everyone thinks being a stay at home mom is easy but sometimes I would like a break. It's hard when Gary travels, I'm home all day with Drew and unless I call my mom I don't talk to anyone all day long. I get lonely and tired of dealing with clingy cranky baby. I take 5 minute showers because he screams the whole time I'm in there, I barely eat, I can't get any craft activities done and forget about cleaning. Drew doesn't nap without me, he doesn't sleep at night without me, he doesn't play without me. When you go to work and you do a good job you can at least feel like you accomplished something and feel like you are doing a good job in some aspect of your life. I'm just feeling like I'm not very good at this staying home thing. My house sure doesn't look like the houses in the magazines, my baby isn't on a schedule, doesn't nap, co-sleeps, can't soothe himself - he has to be attached to my boob to make himself feel better. You know it doesn't matter if you go to work or not housework still sucks. It's not like being stuck in the house everyday makes it any better. In fact it's worse, the house gets dirty faster when there are people in it all day every day. As soon as I feel accomplished that I did something around the house it's messed up again. How did the 1950's housewives do it? Maybe it's different when you're not all alone. I don't have any stay at home friends, I don't have family near me, and so many times I don't even have my husband home with me. I am just feeling down today and so lonely and Drew is in a funk today too. He didn't want to play at Gymboree, he wanted to sit in mommy's lap. At least it got me out of the house, even if Drew didn't play today. I love my little Drew bug but seriously the last 2 days he hasn't been out of my lap or off of my boob for more than 10 minutes, and then he was still in arms reach of me. He goes to bed when I go to bed and wakes up with me. I just need a few minutes for Alyssa. On a happy note today Drew initiated the sign for milk a few times today. What was I thinking? Why did I teach my baby to ask for milk? The problem is I'm nursing, so to Drew it's not always about the food. Most of the time I am his pacifier, not his food source. He did the milk sign twice when he had eaten just about 40 minutes earlier, he wasn't hungry he wanted comfort. So now he thinks the squeezing hand motion means mommy is going to whip her boob out - great, just great. I wish I knew someone who breastfed their baby this long, are babies always this clingy and wanting to use mommy for comfort this much? The minute he wakes up at night he starts rooting for me, he doesn't even eat when he finds me and latches on, he latches on and then falls back to sleep.

11/12/09: Today Drew got his 6 month pictures done at Walmart, they came out pretty good...check them out below.
He's getting a little red under his diaper, I guess it's diaper rash but I use the butt paste (that's what it's called, I'm not being funny) or I powder him up it's also up front, not his bum. Maybe he was in a wet diaper too long last night. I'll have to start changing him more in the middle of the night. I don't like to change him a lot over night because it wakes him right up. Maybe it's just his body adjusting to him eating food now and things are different pH. Does diaper cream sting red skin, he cried today when I lotioned him up. Maybe he isn't agreeing with the walmart brand wipes, this is the 1st time I've used walmart wipes. I've used pampers and target. Maybe I'll switch back to pampers and see if that helps too.

11/16/09: Drew might not be speaking English but he is trying to communicate in the African click language. Recently he discovered how to click his tongue and smack his lips, it's very funny to listen to.   Yesterday Drew put a ball in the top of the gumball machine!!! It's the first time he's been able to hold the ball and lift his arm up high enough and get it in the top! He's so smart, except now he's decided that it's faster to just flip the gumball machine over to get the balls out rather than hit the lever. Silly Drew.

11/17/09: Drew discovered gravity :) Today he threw things on the floor from his highchair and bent over the side to look for them. Then we played the throw things and let mommy get them game for a while. I was feeding Ethan at the time so I knew to put the carrots out of reach from Drew, but I didn't think that I gave him a spatula and wooden spoons to play with. In one swoop he cleared the table, carrots and all. Now there are carrots on my white carpet. Oh well, it would have happened sooner or later. Drew also ate peas today, not baby food peas and not smashed up peas. I was eating lunch and had peas and Drew kept staring at them so I gave him one, he liked it. I continued to feed him peas one by one until he was full, it was so cute. He tried his sippy cup again today, he's getting better but not good enough to handle the cup alone, he still needs a hand.
(uploaded video, Ethan making noise in background)

11/18/09: Drew is starting to figure out the idea behind the shape sorter, he can't do it yet but he wants to. He tries to jam the wrong shape in the hole and he loves putting his pacifier in the holes so I can't find them :)
I uploaded 2 videos of Drew playing with Ethan, one he is playing nice and the other he is very upset. Poor baby.

11/19/09: Drew started jamming out to music :) When he hears music he sways side to side, so cute! He's getting so smart too; he tried to put the triangle in the triangle spot but couldn't get it lined up just right. He stayed with it for about 3 or 4 minutes before giving up and eating the block. It doesn't matter what shape they are they always fit in the mouth! He also is figuring out the nesting blocks. He is starting to put the little ones inside the big ones and he even put down one cup and grabbed another when the 1st one didn't fit. I'm so surprised at how much he's learned in 6 months.

11/22/09: I don't know what to do, my baby won't sleep. I'm not talking he wakes up a few times at night, I'm talking up all night long. I haven't slept more than 1-2 hours at a time in 6 months!!! I can not keep functioning like this. Please help me! Last night I put evil baby in his crib at 9pm, he protested a minute and fell asleep, at 10pm he cried for about 3 minutes and fell asleep, at 10:30 he cried, at 10:45 it got harder and harder and at 11pm I went in to see what I could do. I picked him up, patted his back, sang him a song and laid him back down. He cried and kicked and banged his head against the crib rails. I crawled into his crib with him and let him nurse in his crib, to try to show him that the crib is a nice place too. He settled a little so I sat up and sat at the end of the crib (in his crib). I didn't touch him or talk to him or make eye contact, I just waiting until he settled down....it just wasn't happening. he rolled over and figured out how to turn on his musical fish tank. He spent 30 minutes turning the fish tank on and off. I finally got out of the crib and sat on the floor, he was still playing with the fish tank. I walked into the hall and sat and waited. He started crying but not bad, just tired and annoying. Around 12:30 he fell asleep. At 1:15 he woke up crying hard again. I don't know what to do. I need sleep, I desperately need sleep. I can not take care of 2 babies all week and my baby all weekend and all evening without getting any rest. I put Drew in bed with me, he nursed at 1:30 and fell asleep about 2am, somewhere in the 3 o'clock hour he wanted to nurse again for about 15 minutes and then in the 5 o'clock hour he wanted to nurse again for about 30 minutes. I can't sleep with him, I don't get any sleep, he wants to be attached to me every minute and if I turn my back on him he just cries and wakes daddymonster up. He will not give in and sleep in his crib. I would have let him cried all night long in his crib but on top of the baby yelling at me to pick him up I have grumpy Gary telling me to go get him. I can't do this. Either help me or go get a hotel room while I figure this sleep thing out. It doesn't work to have 2 boys yelling at me all night. Besides Gary's gotten to get away when he's traveled for work several times these past 6 months, I haven't had that luxury. I'm at the end of my rope, I'm serious, I understand why bad things happen to babies. Now during the day I just don't even want to look at my baby let alone play with him, I just can't take it. I need someone to help me, I need someone on my side. Even the cats are against me. I finally got Drew settled down in bed with me last night and around 2am the stupid cat started meowing, he did the same thing at 7:30 this morning. Now I am going to go to jail for abandoning my baby and be charged with animal cruelty for taping my cat's mouth shut. There is a direct correlation between sleep and patience, the more sleep I get the more patience I have; the less sleep, the less patience and not only is that not good for my baby it's not good for the other baby that I watch during the day. I just can't do this. It is seriously getting to the point that I don't care. I don't care about my house, about my appearance, about what Drew is going. He has played on his own all morning today, I know I should be interacting with him and talking to him but I just can't do it. This is past the point of it's so funny your baby doesn't sleep, stop making comments to me and friggin help me!

11/23/09: Drew is getting the hang of the xylophone. He's finally realized that the mallet is for hitting not eating :) I'll try to get a video soon.

11/24/09: Uh Oh, Drew can stand...check out the picture.

11/25/09: Drew can Chew! Drew can eat gerber graduates puffs and melts (great stocking stuffers!!!) He's mashing up the pieces with his gums. My big boy, just in time to eat turkey and sweet potatoes with mommy tomorrow! Wow, babies really do grow up fast. I'm so so so so happy that I've gotten to stay home and see every single day of my babies life. Even though I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown from no sleep I wouldn't want to miss most of my babies first year by being at work 8 hours a day. If you figure it out you're missing 40 hours a week of your baby, 40 waking hours pretty much too (if you work days). In a year that's almost 2000 hours, that's 80 full days of their life that you didn't see...that's almost 3 months that you lose by going to work.

11/28/09: We got Andrew's 1st Christmas tree today! He had a great time riding in the baby bjorn around the Christmas store and then enjoyed watching the guys cut the Christmas trees. I'm so excited for the Holidays with him.

11/29/09: Drew is quite a pain to feed lately. He grabs the spoon, bites it, throws things. Pretty much he does everything but eat! I don't know what his problem is, maybe babies just do that. Today he drank out of a cup, a real cup not a sippy cup. He did good, he spilled a bunch down the front of him but he still did good for not even 7 months old! He also figured out how to play with his pop up toy, he just needs a little more hand strength. He's so smart :)
He's started crying about everything. Is this part of stranger anxiety, everything new anxiety? Loud noises, new noises, new textures, he cries over. Why do I have the cry baby clingy boy. He's not the jump right in and explore type of baby he is stuck to mommy.

11/30/09:
Drew is so funny, and smart! He was picking up cereal puffs when he pushed them too far to the left, he's not as good with his left hand. He could not get them so he put his mouth on the edge of the table and shoved all the cereal in, so so funny! What a good problem solver already.

12/1/09:
Drew saw Santa!

12/2/09:
Drew went to Gymboree again today. We've been half a dozen times and he's still not as into it as I thought he would be. He is so stuck on mommy. In fact right now he's crying with Daddy because I'm not holding him. The class is 45 minutes long. He does okay for about 30 minutes but the last 15 he won't participate, he needs to cuddle with mommy. I guess 30 minutes out of my lap is all he can handle. He is so clingy, SO CLINGY! Is it because I'm a SAHM? Is it because I'm breastfeeding? Is it just him? He is my little stick tight. I found this poem and it brought a tear to my eye thinking about when Drew doesn't need me anymore...
Wean Me Gently by Cathy Cardall

I know I look so big to you,
Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.
But no matter how big we get,
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don't break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.

12/3/09: My little man is so smart. He couldn't reach a toy when he was sitting on the floor so he took another toy and held that out to sweep the first toy into his reach. What a smartie! He is also starting to wave. He doesn't understand to just wave at people so he spent today waving at the Christmas Tree and the cat :) He ate snacks out of a bowl on his own for the first time today...check out the pictures. He loves snacks, he doesn't like baby food so much. I know he's a big boy but I don't really know what to say when people say wow he's a good eater...well, not really, unless you're talking about just eating boobies, he likes them. All of sudden he's back to wanting to nurse all night long. The last two nights even if he wasn't nursing he wanted to be pressed up against bare skin. If I moved and pulled my shirt down he woke up and cried. I don't know what's going on but it's a price I'm willing to pay to keep him off of formula. I'm so proud of myself that I've breastfed him for 7 months now. I'm awesome! I've also saved a lot of money, formula is $30 a can, and a can makes about 14 bottles, that's like 2 1/2 days. Oh and he drank out of a cup again today. He is getting really good at that. The first 2 sips he tipped it up too much but after that he understood how to wrap his lip around the top of the cup. I have to go now, my little man is crying for momma again. He's always crying for momma.

12/4/09: Drew pretends he's a girl today. That outfit was the one I wore on my first Christmas. He's a big boy, I was 10 months old, he's only 7! Check out the pictures....I know daddy will be mad :)

Drew is getting pretty good with a spoon. He knows to take the spoon and put it in the bowl and then put it in his mouth. The problem is spoons fit in your mouth better upside down, so he loads it up with food, turns it upside down and then puts it in his mouth. So this morning he was covered from head to toe with oatmeal.
He's also started to shiver when he's cold. It's very cute. I hadn't realized that babies don't really respond to the temperature until now. When a cold breeze hits him he shivers. When I pull him out of the tub he shivers. It's so cute, and very exaggerated.

October 2009

2012-02-20T20:01:00.003-06:00

wow time sure is flying by. I keep meaning to get on here and type stuff in but I just can't seem to get a few minutes to do it.
Let's see some milestones...
10/5/09: Andrew gets bottom 2 teeth! Yeah!
10/8/09: Can make a V and TH sound
10/9/09: Drew army crawled about 12 inches to get his bottle
10/16/09: Babbling a lot, leaned how to make a smacking sound with lips and click tongue
10/17/09: Said Baaaaaaa Baaaaaaa, I thought there was a sheep in the living room. Also does the short BaBaBa

Around the 6th of October someone asked me how teething was, it was fine. Drew was super clingy but not at all what people complain about. I was under the impression that children teethe until teeth come in. I guess teething happens until the whole tooth is in. Drew has been pretty cranky about his mouth lately. But it's not like it interrupts his sleep...he still doesn't sleep. I've been giving him a frozen washcloth to chew on, he loves to chew on blankies so it's working well with the teething. I then decided that maybe he was cranky because he was hungry, so I fed him. Holy Moly, do not give your breastfed baby frozen toys and then feed them. Not only was his mouth cold but he had icy little fingers he was putting all over me too. I won't be doing that again! The feeding has been fine with the teeth, just once I had to pull him away and say No, of course that little bottom lip came out and he started to cry. He is very sensitive. I was reading a Dr. Seuss book the other day and doing the characters in different voices when I got to one character he started crying, guess it was too scary.

Sleep. I never imagined getting a baby to sleep would be the hardest part of parenthood. They sell cribs so I assumed you buy one and put your baby in it and it sleeps, at least for a little bit. Nope, wrong. Drew is still in my bed. I try every single night and he cries and cries and cries and it breaks my heart. Even when I get him to go to sleep in his own crib he's up less than an hour later crying. I've tried the cry it out and just check on him every 5 minutes or so and this goes on for 3 hours when I finally can't take it. There's no reason to let a baby be in distress for 3 hours. The minute I put him in bed with me he is sound asleep and only wakes every 4-5 hours to eat, which for a breastfed baby is normal. I would like my bed back but Drew is only little once and if he wants his mommy so be it, there is no research stating that the family bed creates clingy toddlers or adults, in fact there is a lot of research stating just the opposite, that it creates confident independent children, so whatever, it's not like Drew is going to be in high school and still wanting to cuddle with mommy, I'll enjoy this while I can.

Drew loves his jumper, he is a maniac in that thing. He's also starting to move, he army crawls, using just his arms, it's very cute but makes me realize I have to keep my house picked up better. He doesn't move the whole time I'm watching him then I walk to the kitchen, come back and he's got 10 things he shouldn't have. Drew has also started really enjoying bath time. He splashes the water and plays with the toys, I have to get him some more toys he only has 4 bath toys. He loves the laptops too. Daddy lets him bang on his and he goes crazy for it. That's one of the reasons I can't feed him and update my site like I used to, Drew is too nosey and won't eat if I am typing. He also likes the TV remote, they make a little kid play remote I'll have to get him because with my luck he'll be messing with the real remote and deprogram it or something.

10/19/09: Drew is so fun to listen to. He babbles a lot, until I pull out the camera then he's super quiet. Today he was babbling and it sounded like he said Dadadada, when I asked him what he said he became super quiet, yep he knows....you learn to say mamama first or you start sleeping alone :) I took a short video of him making his G sound, for Grammy :) The only time he makes the M sound for mommy is when his mouth hurts.

10/20/09: Drew had papaya tonight...loved it!! Maybe even more than mangos and so far that has been his favorite. He has tried a lot of food and he seems to like squash and peas the best of the veggies but he didn't care for green beans. He even liked broccoli more than green beans which is surprising to me. Of the fruits he likes mango and papaya the best and he will tolerate apples and pears but isn't sold on the peaches yet. He's a silly baby. Food time isn't about eating to him it's play time, he's a mess. I think he knows that mommy still provides all his nutrition and he doesn't really need to get the solid food in his belly.

10/23/09: I made a batch of homemade baby food for Andrew, very cost effective. It cost me about $3.00 for a butternut squash and it made almost 70oz of food, Gerber squash is $1.00 for 5oz. It's a no brainer. I also made sweet potatoes and have bananas and avocado, but you can't freeze those so I'll get through what I can before it goes bad. Drew gagged on his first bite of avocado but then I mixed it with the bananas (which the books said is a good combo) and he ate them all up. Today he ate a mushroom! Gary was making his spaghetti sauce and gave a mushroom to Drew to check out, he shoved it in his mouth and bit a piece off, I grabbed it out of his mouth, I was afraid he would choke on it, I put the mushroom in his mesh food bag and he ate it all up. I can't believe he liked it. I have a list of 63 items that babies should try before they are 1 and mushrooms are on the list. Drew has now tried 9 things on the list.

10/25/09: Drew started pre-crawling today. He's gets up on his knees and hands and rocks back and forth. It won't be long. He also said a naughty word today :) He is babbling up a storm and it sounded just like he said God Dammit, exactly like it, Gary even heard it. Naughty Naughty baby! He's making all kinds of sounds, Ba, Ga, Da, Ma, Va, Goo, Mum, Ca, and something that sounds an awful lot like kitty, he is big into the ki, ka sound right now. His favorites are Ka, Da, and Ba.

10/28/09:
Drew is way more fun during the day than I had imagined and way more work during the night! I don't know why he doesn't sleep without mommy. My pediatrician said breastfeeding creates clingy babies he wasn't kidding. I really tried the cry it out this week. It's not getting any better. Sunday he screamed at the top of his lungs for 40 mins until he fell asleep, the woke up about 70 mins later screaming. He screamed for 10-15 minutes and fell asleep, woke up about 45 mins later, screamed for 15 mins, fell asleep. Woke up about 30 mins later and screamed so I went and got him. It's ridiculous, I can't let him scream all night long. Monday I put him in his crib for nap he screamed for 20 mins and fell asleep until Ethan cried and woke up about 15 mins later, I couldn't get him back to sleep after that. Monday night he screamed for 30 minutes and fell asleep and was up 70 minutes later, cried for 20-25 minutes and fell asleep then was up about 30 minutes later. I put him in bed with me again. No one can sleep when he's screaming and Gary needs sleep to go to work. Tuesday I put him in his crib to nap at two different times and each time he fell asleep in under 15 minutes and each time it's like Ethan knew, he woke him up. Ugh. Tuesday night I rocked Drew to sleep and placed him in his crib, not a peep. He slept for an hour, then was up screaming for 25 mins. I finally just went and got him, Gary got annoyed with his crying. When I put him in bed with me he sleeps fine. Wednesday I tried to put him in his crib for a nap and he cried for 45 mins, I laid down in bed with him and he slept for 65 minutes. Ugh. I can't figure this sleep thing out. I would do the cry it out thing but it's getting worse not better. I'm just too much of a softy, it really breaks my heart. Drew is in there with tears running down his face screaming for his mommy. I'll figure something out, I just can't see how that's good for him, crying like that on and off all night and for as long as 45 minutes. That's just terrible. On days that I don't have Ethan I just nap with Drew, no big deal but when Ethan is awake it's hit or miss that I can get Drew down for a nap. Drew is also such a light sleeper a creaky stair can wake him up so when Ethan make any noise Drew is up for the rest of the day! Maybe the 2 weeks Ethan is off for his surgery I can take the time to rock Drew and get him used to going down for a nap in his room.

10/31/09: Happy 1st Halloween Drew! Drew is saying Mom/Mum now. He says it a lot when he wants me but I'm not sure if he really knows I'm mom. He says Mum mum, it's so cute. I guess I'm Canadian :) The sleep is still an issue but we're working on it, it's been a week and it is still taking 50 minutes to get him to sleep and he still wakes up many many many times. But he's the perfect baby during the day and I don't mind him sleeping with him, I love cuddling with him, I love that he cuddles with me. I can't believe my baby is almost 6 months old. I hope he is a cuddler when he's bigger too, I love him so much. On top of saying mum he's reaching for me when he wants me. It's so awesome, he wants me :) When someone else is holding me he leans for me and reaches his arms out and when I go in to get him from his crib he gets so excited and smiles and kicks and reaches his arms up. I feel so special :) I just can't believe how fast time is going by, I feel like I still have a newborn but I don't, I have a 6 month old. I might tell Angela I can't watch Ethan anymore, I want to do activities with Drew while he's little and I can't with the 2 of them, and I don't want to use up my weekends because that's when I get to see Gary. I want to take a water babies class and a my gym or gymboree class, I want to do the lap sit reads at the library and just enjoy my days with my baby, I can't believe how fast they are going by. By the time the school year is over I will have a baby that's 13 months old, that's not a little baby anymore, that's a walker!

11/3/09: Drew found his toes! When I change his diaper and pull his feet up he happily sticks a toe in his mouth, so cute! He is also talking up a storm. He says mama all the time now. We have had so much fun this week, this is why I wanted to be a stay at home mom. We went to lapsit at the library where we sang songs and read stories and to a gymboree class where we got to play and move around. It was great to hang out and do fun things with my baby. He had fun too I think. I wish money wasn't an object so I could do all these fun things with him, but these baby classes are so much money. Gymboree is $60 a month, just like an adult gym, but I had way more fun playing with Drew there than I would have at an adult gym. I don't think it's worth it in the summer but Chicago winters are long so it would be nice to do something from Nov. to Feb. when you can't go outside and play. Maybe I can get gift certificates for Christmas and my birthday and that would take care of the cold months.

September 2009

2012-02-20T19:55:00.003-06:00

Crawling along to month 5

Saturday September 5th, 2009
Aww, Happy 4 months baby Drew! Everyday something new is happening today he bent his knees up and got them under him when he was on his tummy. It won't be long until he's crawling! We celebrated his 4 months by going to the park and then taking him to toys r us and buying him a stuffed cow.
I also think he's teething. He is cranky, drooly, crying, eating his hands, and has white tooth bumps on his gums. Poor little guy, that has to hurt so bad having big flat teeth coming through your nice soft baby gums.
I love my little Drew!

Sunday September 6th, 2009
Drew found his toes today! He can't get them up into his mouth but he is playing with them :) I love when babies play with their toes!
Today we went to the Frankfort festival, it was hot and crowded. I think Drew really liked watching the carnival rides.
Monday September 7th, 2009
Happy Birthday Gary!  Today is Gary's birthday, and I just realized that years when his birthday falls on labor day all of our birthdays are on minor holidays. Mine is valentines day, Drew's is cinco de mayo. We're so special :)
Wednesday, September 9th, 2009Okay, so my endocrinologist called me today and said that I tested negative for Grave's disease. Yippie!! Now the down side, she said she wants to put me meds for hyperthyroidism. The problem is that I can't breastfeed on these drugs. I'm heartbroken, I really am. I love feeding Drew and he loves it too. It's nice to just sit down with him and have our time. It's also how I settle him down for naps and bedtime. I don't know what I'll do if I can't nurse him to sleep. I'm going to have to ask her if this can wait a few more months. Once he starts foods at 6 months he might not be so interested in nursing, you never know.
Thursday, September 10th, 2009
Drew knows that he makes things happen. There's a frog on his bouncy chair that plays music when you pull it. In the past he has pulled it and then started crying. I put the toys up again today and he pulled the frog and smiled and then continuted to pull it about 20 more times. I guess he was just surprised by the music last time and now that he is doing it it's fun.
Friday, September 11th, 2009
Happy 5th Anniversary!! 5 years, it doesn't feel like it, I feel like I just got married. Now I'm married with a kid :) A beautiful kid :) Gary came home from Texas today, it was hard all week without him. I missed him. He was cute, he bought Drew a stuffed horse. Awww, what a good daddy.
I think we really are in teething territory. Drew will just scream and scream while grabbing at his mouth. He loves the frozen washcloth to chew on. I gave him baby Tylenol last night because he had tears just streaming down his face. It made me so sad. I don't know how long it takes for teeth to actually come through the gums but I hope it happens before Oct. 8th, or the pain isn't too bad that weekend. I'm going to be on a plane with him. I feel sorry for all the other passengers, oh well, at least it's only a 2 hours flight. Gary's going to Holland in a couple weeks, imagine tooth and ear pain on a plain for 8 hours, fun fun.
Tuesday September 15th, 2009
Wow, 18 weeks old. I can't believe how big my baby is getting. I got his Halloween costume already :) Well actually Grammy got it for him. Drew and I saw a super cute one in the store but it was the wrong size so Grammy searched for it online and found it for a good price. Drew loves his Grammy. I can't wait to get professional pictures of him in his corn outfit, maybe I'll dress up as the farmer and get some with him. How cute will we be :)
The last 2 nights have been a little better with sleeping. He's slept until around midnight or 1am before he wanted to eat again. and yesterday he took a 2 hour nap. I wish I could have taken a nap with him but I have Ethan almost every day and yesterday their naps didn't line up. Oh well.
Thursday September 17th, 2009
My mom and dad are heading out this way tonight! They should be here sometime tomorrow. I'm excited, they are going to love Drew, he's so fun now. I can't believe how much he's changed and how fast he keeps changing. Every single day he learns something. I love it, I love watching him grow and learn. Before he was born everyone said to appreciate the stage he's at, don't wish for him to grow up faster and I can say that I am not wishing him to move on to the next step, I love each and every day with him and people are right they do grow fast.
I've fed Drew a little food, I know they say exclusively breastfeed for 6 months, but come on Drew is drinking 30-45 ounces a day. That's a lot of liquid to have in your tummy. He started spitting up more and more too so I feed him one meal a day. Last week he tried mashed bananas and this week he is trying butternut squash. He loved the bananas and got so excited about eating them. He wasn't as happy with the squash but he ate it all. I think it would have been different if I made the squash myself but a friend of mine gave me some babyfood so I might as well use that up. The banana he had was fresh so it was probably more flavorfull. What's funny is the food comes out looking about the same as it goes in :)   Tomorrow is Drew's 4 month appointment, I know it's a little late but I needed a day when I didn't have the 2 boys and I also wanted to get more bloodwork done on my thyroid so his pediatrician could decide if Drew needs to be checked based on my levels.
Yesterday I put my iPhone in Drew's carseat while I put the groceries in the car. When I was done I picked it up and noticed it was on, hmmm, he must have hit the button. A few minutes after that my mom called me and asked if I called her. No, I didn't but I know who did. My mom wasn't even the last call placed. How did a 4 month old turn on my phone, go into contacts, and call my mom? I guess he really wanted to talk to Grammy.
haha, today I was chewing gum and I blew a bubble and Drew looked at me weird then the lip came out and he started crying. He cries anytime he sees or touches or hears something new. I hope he gets over that, I don't want a cry baby but it is pretty funny.
Friday, September 18th, 2009
Today was Drew's 4 month check up. He was in the 90th percentile for head circumference, the 50th for length, and the 95th for weight, weighing it at 18 pounds 2 ounces. Yes, I really typed 18 pounds!!!! that's 5 pounds more than average at this age, that's a preemie more than average!!! I can not believe my baby is 18 pounds.
Grandma and Grandpa Poyer showed up today too. Unfortunately Drew was really cranky all day because of his shots so he wasn't very much fun, hopefully tomorrow is better.

Between my parents coming to visit, my laptop dying, and my hubby traveling to The Netherlands I haven't had time to update here. Week 19 so got on my nerves, why is it I am the only person who has a baby that won't sleep!!!! He's more than doubled his birth weight, he eats food, what's the problem? He's been ending up with me every night, it's frustrating. I don't mind him sleeping with me but the up every 30 minutes is driving me mad. And I can't sleep when my baby sleeps, I watch a 7 month old. Mothering really is a thankless job (thank you mom). My whole life is about Drew and he doesn't care, nor does anyone else for that matter. I clean, clothe, change, feed, play with, and comfort Drew all day and all night and no one appreciates it :( I haven't gotten a hair cut in 7 months because who is going to watch Drew, I haven't been to the dentist since I was 5 months pregnant because Drew can't come with me. When is my weekend? My holiday? Being at home all day doesn't help, it's pretty lonely. I don't talk to anyone all day and what good are husbands to talk to, huh? what did you say? I can't join any mommy clubs or take swim classes or anything because of the other baby that I watch. I can't even go walk around the mall, this is going to be a long winter.
OK enough of me complaining onto my little Drew bug...
I can't believe how fast he is growing up, and not size wise, just how fast he's learning things. Let's see what I need to catch up on...Sept. 19th Drew went to his first playground. he enjoyed the swing and the slide with mommy. It will be fun next summer to walk there and let him play. Sept 21st Drew scooted forward to get a toy. He's starting to move a little bit, uh oh, I'm in trouble! Sept. 25th Drew splashed the water in the tub! He had fun in the tub and actually cried when it was time to get out. Sept. 27th Drew went to his first pumpkin farm, he's so cute!!! Sept 29th Drew log rolled across the living room. He's started to get good at rolling to get things and it's surprised me when I turn my back and turn around and he's in a different spot chewing on something he shouldn't, time for me to baby proof a little. I'm not looking forward to this.
Let's see Andrew is also working his way through the food chain. He's had squash...loves it, peas...liked them too, rice...a favorite, oatmeal...uhhh, could take it or leave it I think, and sweet potatoes...wasn't too fond of them. He also just had Mangos and he loved them, he went crazy and even tried to eat the bowl they were in.

August 2009

2012-02-20T19:45:00.004-06:00

What's in store in month 4?

12 Weeks Old
Friday 8/7/09
My baby is growing up so fast. He's three months old moving into 4 months. He's so big now. I took him to the Dr. because he was acting like his medicine wasn't working anymore and he weighs 14 pounds. What a big boy. The doctor wanted to know how much formula I was giving him when I said none he was surprised. He said I am a great producer :) At 14 pounds babies eat about 37 ounces of breast milk a day. Wow, I am awesome. I make about 40 ounces a day. That sounds about right, Drew eats about 10 times a day and I think he eats about 4 oz. each time. No wonder I can't get much extra when I pump, 40 ounces is going to Drew. How many ounces are in a gallon about 120? So in 3 days I'm producing a gallon of milk, not as good as a cow, don't they produce something like 8 gallons a day :) But considering I am 1/10 the weight of a cow not bad. Geez, cow farmers must go through a lot of water. I think how thirsty I am all the time. hahaha.
Well today was the first time that I had to take Drew to the Dr. because I thought he might be sick. He was cold and clammy all day about 2pm I decided I better take his temperature becuase he just doesn't seem to be himself. I tried everything to get his temperature without going near his bum. The pacifier thermometer said he was 98.8, normal, except the last time I used it on him it said he was 96, so I think it registers low. If that's the case 98.8 is high. Next I pull out this plastic strip that sticks on his forehead. I held it against his forehead and it turned yellow, which means low grade fever. Well that didn't help, there's no numbers on the darn thing. So finally I broke down and pulled out the "real" thermometer. Oh No, I have to do a real mom duty, I have to take my kids temperature in his bum. I laid him on his tummy and put his talking bear in front of him to distract him. He didn't even know I was doing anything. I was more freaked out about it than he was. It seemed to take forever to get his temperature, the darn thing never beeped but after what felt like a million years I figure it had a good reading, it said 99.4. Hmmm, while that is a fever I know the Dr. said anything over 100.2 is a concern. So I called to ask what I should do and they told me to bring him in. Of course when I got there his temp was 98.8, so I'm sure they think I'm the crazy mom, but they are the ones that told me to come in. The Dr. checked him out and said his ears look fine, his throat looks fine, and his heart rate and lungs sounded good. He didn't think I had anything to be worried about. So I came home and dealt with grumpy baby the rest of the day, but at least I was reassured that he probably wasn't sick.

13 Weeks Old
Tuesday 8/11/09:
Wow, I'm slacking on my posts but it's hard to keep up when all you do all day is listen to Cranky Mcpoopy pants. Ugh, it's exhausting. Drew was doing fine on his meds then all of a sudden he's back to acting awful. I missed my happy Drew so much. I don't think I saw a smile in 3 days but this morning Drew woke up happy! Yeah!! So maybe it was a growth spurt. The doctor said at 3 weeks and 3 months babies go through growth spurts that make them act cranky. He also said he will have a more mild growth spurt around 4 months and another one at 6 months. I guess only time will tell if the doctor is right. And perhaps the Dr. is right that Drew cries so I won't let the wolves eat him. Drew has been crying a lot and he hasn't been eaten by a wolf yet :)
Thursday 8/13/09:
Sigh, Daddy has been talking to Drew. I tried to shop today and Drew just wanted to be loud. He was fine if I was looking at him and talking to him but the minute I tried to look at clothes he squealed and yelled. I grabbed lunch and ate it while feeding Drew in the family lounge at the mall then tried to continue shopping, it didn't work. I ended up feeding him again in the dressing room but he still wouldn't settle down enough for me to shop. Daddy must have told him to do that so I wouldn't spend any money :)
Friday 8/14/09:
Drew rode in the Baby Bjorn facing out today :) I think he liked being able to see the world.
He can almost roll over from his back to his tummy, he can get his upper body over but his big old butt won't flip around yet. Speaking of his big old butt, oh my god, baby exploded today. I had to clean him, his car seat, him again, his swing. I've never seen so much poop. There were puddles of mustard poop all over everything today.
He's started doing this high pitch squeal, I can't tell if it's a happy noise or an angry noise but it's ear piercing!
I found that if Drew skips a feeding I look fabulous in a tank top :) Today at the zoo I fed Drew a bottle and by the time we left I looked awesome, but the girls were really tender and needed Drew to eat soon. Of course he was asleep when I got home so I pumped 6 ounces and then he woke up, he ate a full meal and they still weren't empty, I had like a pound of food in there. Finally I have some extra back up :)
Monday 8/17/09:
Drew hurt my feelings the other day :( He refused to eat when I tried to feed him and then he took a bottle of formula. He better not like formula better than the food I make for him!! He's growing so much, I can't believe how fast babies grow. He wore a 6 month outfit today. I can't believe just 3 months ago I had a tiny newborn and now I have a big old hippo. I think I love cuddling with him even more now though. He's so soft and warm and squishy. I love to snuggle up next to him. I know I shouldn't let him sleep with me when he wakes up in the middle of the night but I sleep better when he's close to me too though. I love it. Sure I would like a good nights sleep but just opening my eyes and seeing my sweet little boy next to me makes me so happy. I also love when he wakes up and looks at me and smiles. It's so much better than him crying in his crib all alone.

Wednesday 8/19/2009:
This happened yesterday but I didn't think much of it until Drew did it again today...he smiles at me :) When I leave the room and come back he smiles, when I go to pick him up from his crib he smiles. I was thinking he just liked to smile but yesterday a friend walked over to him and he just looked at her, then I walked up and he smiled. He knows his momma :) I love him!
Monday 8/24/09:
Today I started watching Ethan full time. It's not bad, I'm pretty good with the two boys. I love being home with my baby even if it means I have to watch another one. I don't think Drew likes sharing his toys and his mommy but I think it will be good for him when he gets a little older, who wants to hang out with mom all the time, at least now he'll have a little friend. Saturday we went to Daddy's company picnic, Drew was a little reserved but at least he wasn't crying. He's such a smile snob. Other babies smile when someone talks to them Drew just looks at them and if they are worthy he gives them a smile. Now of course mommy gets tons of smiles. He studies people before he smiles at them. It should make those people feel really good when they learn that he smiles at the kitchen light all the time.
Sunday was a rough day, Drew cried all day. It's so hard to deal with all day long, I wish I knew why he was crying, I would do anything to make him feel better.
I am working so hard to get Drew to sleep but I don't know what to do. I put him to bed when he falls asleep after his last feeding, between 8 and 10. He then sleeps for 3 hours (if I'm lucky 4) and is up to eat again. After that I can not get him back in his crib. Last night he went to bed at 9:30, was up at 11:30, I put him in bed with me and when he ate again at 2 I put him in his crib, he was up again at 4 and then 6:30. It's exhausting I wish I could just take my boobs off and leave them in his crib. He still eats every 2 to 3 hours during the day most days too. Every once in a while I get a 4 or 5 hour break but it's not consistent. This is the hardest part, all I do is feed the baby, still, and he's going to be 4 months old soon. That's 4 months of feeding him every 2 to 3 hours, ugh. No one told me that breastfeeding would be this demanding. But I must say it's the best way to lose weight, I'm almost 5 pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight. That means since May I've lost just over 30 pounds. I can't believe I was carrying around over 25 pounds when I was pregnant, no wonder I was tired all the time.

Tuesday August 25th, 2009:
Wow, I guess my baby is 15 weeks old today, this whole week/months thing doesn't line up exactly so I'm doing the best I can to keep the website in order. I pulled out all of the 3-6 month clothes and put the newborn-3 months in a tote. Drew can still wear some 3 month things but they are quickly getting too small, sigh. What should I do with all of his little tiny clothes? I would like to think I should save them for baby #2 but I know I might not ever have baby #2 :( Besides Gary not really wanting another kid I'm a little worried about going through a pregnancy and delivery again. Everything went pretty well the first time and I have a beautiful healthy baby, what if I'm not so lucky next time. While my kidneys didn't give me any trouble with they pregnancy what if it put strain on them and weakened them, I don't want to mess around with my kidneys, I've had enough issues with them when I was little. Plus I have to go see an endocrinologist about my TSH levels. She said having a baby can throw your body out of whack and mess with your thyroid, what if that's what happened, will it happen again with #2, would it be worse the second time around? On top of that delivery is scary, it's not so much the pain which yes I do still remember vividly but all the things that could go wrong. My blood pressure was crazy low, that can't be good and they kept putting me on oxygen. I'm not ready to put my body through all of that again. If a baby could magically show up at my door step I would readily accept it!
Night time is so hard, Drew goes to bed wonderfully (most nights) but is up every 2 hours, how do you get a baby to stay asleep? I've tried just soothing him back to sleep with him still in the crib but 96% of the time it doesn't work, I have to pick him up. Last night I even went and got a bottle of formula because he went to bed at 9 and was up by 10:30. I don't even remember getting out of bed I opened my eyes and I was laying in the extra bed feeding him. I even had my pillow, I seriously don't remember walking down the hall with my pillow, picking up Drew, and laying down to feed him. Wow, that's kinda scary. He refused the formula and just kept crying and crying and crying. I nursed him again and put him in his crib and went back to bed. It was probably 12:30 when he started crying again, ugh...back down the hall I go. I ended up sleeping with him again in the extra bed so I could get a little sleep and so could Gary. This morning was a little better though, I woke up at 6:15 and showered before Drew got up at 6:30. It doesn't sound like much but 15 minutes is more than enough time to shower, get dressed, and brush my teeth. Besides, I had to hurry, Ethan was arriving at 6:45 today.
Right now it's 10am and both boys are napping. Drew has gotten so much better about taking naps. They are short, 45 minutes but a lot longer than the 0 minutes that he was getting. Most days I can get him to take 2 naps, I consider that a huge success. Now if I could just figure out bedtime!
*Andrew learned something new today! He's started shaking his head back and forth, not just once or twice but like a hundred times, very fast. It would have made me dizzy. It freaked me out, I thought there was something wrong with him but Gary looked it up on the internet and found that it's common for babies to do that. It's really funny. I posted a video but it's really dark.
Wednesday 8/26/09:
What an exciting day. First Drew slept really well last night. He went to sleep around 8:30 and slept until 1:30!!!! I couldn't believe it when I woke up and looked at the clock. I fed him and he went back to bed until 5:30!!!! He then slept until about 7am, but I had to be up to get ready for Ethan to come over. I really wanted to just lay in bed with Drew this morning. I think if I had stayed in bed with him he would have slept longer, he loves me :)
second exciting thing today, Drew rolled over from back to tummy today. He's been working on it for about a week or so but he finally made it all the way over today.
Thursday 8/27/09:
WooHoo!!!! Drew slept through the night, 6 hours!!!! I'm so excited. That's the most sleep I've gotten in 5 months! I hope this means it will happen again. I put him to bed at 9, he woke up at 10...I was sure it was going to be a bad night. He woke up again at 4:15!!! I fed him, went back to bed until 7:30 when he woke up again. I put him in bed with me and we slept together until 9:30! It was so nice to just lay in bed with my baby. On days when I watch Ethan I can't lay around in my jammies for half the day. I love cuddling with Drew.
Tuesday 9/1/09:
Okay, I should be moving on to the next page since Drew is 16 weeks but he's not 4 months old yet so I'll keep adding here. I never understood when people said breastfed babies poop doesn't smell, it's poop it smells. Ohhh now I get it, I changed Ethan's diaper today and oh my god, it was awful. He only poops once or twice a week too so it was a lot of nastiness. I look forward to Drew's vinegar smelling diaper later now! If Gary is ever going to change a poopy diaper he better do it now :)
Well all that sleep earlier in the week was just a tease. Why won't Drew sleep? Ethan napped for 3 hours yesterday and then slept from 8pm to 5am solid. Drew took about 4 5-10 minute naps then slept from 9-10, 10:30-11:30, 12:00-2:30, 3:00-5:30, and 6:00-8:00. Ugh, it's driving me crazy! He is up all night long. I don't want to ignore his cries but it's getting on my nerves. Seriously if you have a baby that sleeps I don't want to hear about it. I'm so jealous. It's a good thing that Drew is as cute as he is becuase any less cute and he would be sitting in a cardboard box at the farmer's market (that's how people give away kittens). He goes to bed like a champ, he just won't stay there. And his naps are complete teases too. A nap is anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes, and he probably spends about an hour a day napping. I seriously thought babies slept a lot. He didn't even sleep is first day here. Why did I, I who love sleeping, get insomnia baby? I remember a few months ago when I would fall asleep Saturday night and wake up late Sunday morning, oh how I miss that. Now I fall asleep Saturday night and wake up Saturday night. Please sleep Drew, please.
On an upbeat note, I love my kitchen aid mixer! When Ethan goes down for his nap, which is longer than my baby sleeps all night, I pop Drew in the highchair and him and I bake away. Last week we made cherry danishes for "aunt" Nicki and chocolate chip cookies for daddy and today we just finished powdered banana cookies with dark chocolate drizzle. I think Drew likes sitting up and seeing what's going on. He's so happy in the kitchen with me. The hard part about baking for me is that I don't like to give my treats away. I want to save them for me, but I really shouldn't eat 2 dozen danish and 3 dozen cookies a week.
My endocrinologist called today, she said I have hyperthyroidism. I wonder how long I've had this, the only way they found it is that I had my blood drawn for a routine 5 year check. Is it related to pregnancy? Now she's doing more blood work to see if I have grave's disease. I don't want a disease, I just want to be healthy so Drew has a happy healthy mommy. I will find out at the end of the week more of what's going on and what my Dr. wants to do about it all.
Thursday 9/3/09:
Drew tasted rice cereal today. I was so surprised he acted like he's been eating all along. He didn't push it out with his tongue and he even closed his top lip around the spoon to get the cereal off of it. When I brought the spoon up to him he opened his mouth, he had so much fun eating. I know my pediatrician said only breastmilk until 6 months but he still eats ever 2 to 3 hours all day and all night. He eats so much, he's a hungry hungry baby. I just don't think a liquid diet is keeping him happy anymore.
Friday 9/4/09
Drew learned something new today!!! He learned how to blow raspberries :) I love watching him grow up, I'm so glad I can spend every single day with him so I don't miss anything :)

July 2009

2012-02-20T19:38:00.000-06:00

Month 3 is here for me!

Monday 7/6/09:
Well today was Drew's 2 month Dr.'s appointment. I was looking so forward to this appointment to get some issues worked out and now I'm a little disappointed. Dr. Pera said that what I'm experiencing with Drew is normal. It's normal for a baby to choke and cough and gag a lot? Really? It's normal for him to eat and then scream and cry instantly? It's normal for him to sleep in 20-40 minute naps, not hour long blocks? Ugh, why is this so hard? I would like to believe the pediatrician, he sees lots of babies every day and he has 3 of his own. He would know what normal is better than I would. What's frustrating is that I see other mothers with sleeping babies or content babies as they shop. I have a screaming monster on my hands. I can't leisurely shop anywhere, I have to make a made dash through the grocery store frantically grabbing what I think I need because I know I will only have a few minutes before the screaming begins. Either that or I already have a screaming baby and I have to leave the store. Dr. Pera said don't worry about what other people think, just let him cry while I finish shopping. He's not hungry, not dirty, not cold, not hot, he's fine just keep talking to him and letting him know that I'm there and I love him and finish what I need to finish. Easier said than done. It's so hard to know what to do. Last month Dr. Pera was concerned that Drew wasn't gaining enough weight so he told me to limit his feeding time and make him wait 3 hours in between feedings. I did and now he's up to 11 pounds 7 ounces, that's 3 pounds heavier than a month ago, that's a lot of weight gain. Now he said to go back to feeding him smaller meals closer together, like 1 1/2 hours apart in case he does have tummy issues the smaller meals will help. Ugh, 1 1/2 hours...he only said that because he won't have a little guy attached to his body all freaking day.
At the appointment today Drew also got his first set of shots. It was awful, for me. He got three in his legs and one was an oral dose. They did the oral dose first, it smelled bad and Drew frowned the whole time he was taking it, but he was a good boy and didn't spit it out. Next they gave him the shots in his thighs. I'm glad his thighs are so chunky now. The second that needle hit him he screamed like I've never heard before, at least that nurse moved fast. As soon at she was done I picked him up, he was crying really hard, I felt so bad for him. I fed him at the Dr's office so he would settle down and then came home.
Wednesday July 8th, 2009:
So much poopy!!! This morning Drew was laying in bed with me and being cute. I heard him make a mess in his diaper but he was still smiling and making faces with me so I just figured I would change him when he was bored with making faces, which is usually 5 minutes. I went to pick him up and I felt something warm on his back. I thought, did he spit up and it run down his back, he's done that, spitting up looking over his shoulder. I proceed to pick him up and see a big golden brown spot on the bed, what's that? Ewwww!!!! He pooped so much it came out the top of his diaper, all over his jammies, and soaked through onto my sheets. That is so nasty! It wasn't even worth getting wipes, I should have gotten a hose, but I washed Drew up, changed his clothes and then had to do laundry. I posted a picture of his poopy jammies just to embarrass him one day, hehehe. I also posted a video of him playing, it's not too exciting but it's fun to watch his eyes as he notices the toys.
Today we had baby massage class, it was really good. The lady teaching it thinks it will help Drew's tummy and maybe help him sleep better. We'll try it. I'll try anything at this point. I am so jealous of happy, sleepy babies (but my baby is cuter!)
Friday 7/10/09:
Okay, what's going on here? I was having rotten days so the Dr. told me to keep a notebook and now magically I have a different baby. Did Andrew read through the pages of his notebook and realize he was exhausting?! He seriously never slept, he cried a lot, he acted like a little monster. This is the third day in a row that he's been so good. I even slept in my own bed this week while he slept in his crib. I love it! Last night he slept with me again but he fell asleep at 9pm, woke up and fell asleep in bed with me by 10pm, he slept until 3am when he needed to eat then went back to bed until around 6am, ate again, and then went back to bed until 9:30! Even right now as I type he's doing something he never really does...he's napping! It's 3:40pm and he has been napping for just over an hour, it's crazy, in a good way. This is what I expected with a baby, not a wide awake monster all day and all night. So anyway, I took my pages into the Dr. today and of course the last 3 days have looked pretty normal on paper and he's even stopped his gagging thing. He does it a little, but not like before. Maybe the Dr. was right, maybe Drew can't have a full or empty tummy, he needs it half full all the time. I've been nursing him about every hour all day and it's helping him sleep. Either that or the baby massage works. We went to massage class on Wednesday and I've done it twice a day since then and these have been his best 3 days ever. Maybe there is something to massage. I'll keep doing it, even if it's not helping he likes massage time. He smiles and coos a lot during it and I think he even knows when it's coming, he acts all happy when I lay him down and tell him it's massage time.
Drew's vision is also improving greatly, its wonderful except at feeding time. I'm trying to get him to eat and he's looking all over the place, it would be cute except when he whips his head to the side with my boob in his mouth it feels like he's going to rip it right off, not so fun! It is really cute now that he can watch me walk up the stairs. He doesn't cry instantly either when I step away from him, I guess he just wanted to see me, I mean who wouldn't, I'm pretty darn good looking :) Andrew just wants to spend all day looking at me. He turns his head really well now, but tummy time is still lazy time for him. He just lies there eating his hands, he doesn't even try to hold his head up, oh well. Eventually he'll get it, I mean you don't see too many adults that haven't mastered the whole head control thing :)
Saturday 7/11/09:
How I know Andrew is a boy...
1. He cries when we go to the craft store
2. He burps and farts while eating
3. He does not maintain proper eye-contact with me or most females
4. He reaches out and grabs my boobs whenever he feels like, even in public, for that matter he'll grab anybody's, so watch out if you're holding him ;)
*I uploaded 2 videos from my iPhone, Drew was "talking" until I pulled out a devise to record him, but you can enjoy his cuteness

Monday 7/13/09:
Happy Birthday Grampa Poyer! Andrew laughed today! He laughed! There have been a few times where he has squealed with delight when looking at his bunny mobile but this morning when I was playing with him he laughed, a cute little giggle. I wondered if I had heard it right and then he did it again. It was so cute. I guess since he started laughing at me today he'll end up laughing at his mom for the rest of his life, I know I laugh at mine hehehe.
Tuesday 7/14/09:
Today I took Andrew into the Doctor. Yesterday he developed this raspy cry, it sounded awful I felt so bad so for him. I assumed it was related to all the other issues he's been having, possibly acid reflux, but I wanted to make sure he wasn't coming down with something else and I ignored it. We ended up seeing the nurse practitioner and she totally understood what was going on. I explained that Drew arches his back and throws his head back when feeding, he pulls away with a cry sometimes when eating, he cries a lot and can't be consoled, he makes throaty and hic noises, he gets hiccups a lot, he scrunches his body likes he's constipated but he's obviously not, he can't sleep longer than 40-60 minutes and wakes up gagging, he sneezes and coughs a lot, he sounds congested when breathing, he "chews" when there is nothing in his mouth, he screams when I burp him, he looks concerned much of the day, he spits up when I lay him down most nights, and he claws at his throat. She said it's definitely acid reflux and the raspy cry makes her believe that the stomach acid is now coming into his esophagus, which is bad and can cause damage. When I told her that he was eating every 3-4 hours and Dr. Pera suggested that he eat smaller meals every hour and a half she was appalled. She couldn't believe that he asked me to give up my life round the clock to feed him. She said the only reason he asked me to do that was because he's never breastfed a baby, he doesn't know what it's like to feed all day and all night. She decided to start Andrew on Prevacid. I feel bad putting him on drugs this little but I just want him to feel good and be the happy baby that I know he wants to be. Hopefully things will start to get better.
Thursday 7/16/09:
Today is day 2 on Prevacid. I think it is starting to work a little, I've noticed a little less of the hic and throaty sounds. Yesterday Andrew took a 4 hour nap. 4 hours! that's unheard of. He woke up a few times and then went right back to sleep, normally he wakes up and gags and coughs. He looked so relaxed too, no wrikled brow all day. Last night was the same as always so today instead of giving the full dose in the morning I gave him half a dose in the am and will give him the other half in the pm (the Dr. appoved this). I hope it helps him. I hope he has an easy day today too I just have no energy whatsoever.
This morning Drew was playing and I handed him a small toy. He held onto it with his left hand for a long time, then he brought it to his mouth and grabed it with his right hand. It was the first time I saw his successfull switch hands. He also did tummy time this morning and held his head up for so long. He's getting so strong on his tummy.

Sunday 7/19/09:
I think the prevacid is working but there are still some tummy issues, I guess that's normal though for little ones. I don't want him to get older faster, I just want his tummy to grow up. He is laughing more now, it's so cute. I love his little laugh, sometimes he even squeals he's having such a good time. It's the cutest thing ever.
The hardest thing now is he still eats every 2 hours. I thought 10 week old babies could go longer, everyone said it would get easier. It's been almost 3 months of 2 hour feedings. Let's see, since I'm a numbers person he's been here about 70 days, that's 1,680 hours and eating every 2 hours would cut that in half so he's eaten about 840 times, and lets just say feedings are 30 minutes on average, that's 25,200 minutes of eating (or 420 hours), my poor boobs. Okay, that amuses me to figure out the time. It's really crazy, why does he eat so much? Even if he gets a bottle he still wants to eat all the time. I gave Nicki approximately 10 ounces of food when I went out the other night and within the 4 hours that he was at her house he ate all of it. And then he was hungry again when I got him home. He's eating every 2 hours round the clock. I feed him at 9pm and go to bed, then he's up at 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am...sometimes this is when we come downstairs other times we stay in bed until the 7am feeding and then come down. It's crazy. I love feeding him, I really do, but I'm getting really tired. It really is hard work feeding a baby, it takes a lot out of me (literally). If it was just popping a bottle in his mouth every 2 hours that would be one thing but my life revolves around feeding him. I wear clothes that are easy to feed in because I not only have to do it so much but if I go any where at all I usually have to feed him in the back seat of the car and I need to wear clothes that won't give everyone else a show. I'm also not getting enough sleep. I sleep in one hour increments, I hate it, I would think Andrew hates it too but he won't stay asleep, he gets up to eat. Why do I have a hungry hungry hippo baby? I'll never talk Gary into number 2 now ;)
Wednesday 7/22/09:
Now this is the baby I wanted. He is so happy now that he's on the prevacid. I can't believe the difference. He's so much fun. He plays and laughs all the time. I even got a little laugh on video, it's so cute. I'm so lucky to be home with him. There's no way I could leave him to sit at work all day. He's happy in the day, it's evenings that I would be willing to send him to day care :) They can have him when he's tired and crabby. I feel bad for daddy though, he gets home right when the crabbiness is starting. It's significantly less than before but it's still about an hour of crying everynight and he's just not as much fun in the evening, I guess he's all laughed out by 7pm. It's just amazing how fast babies learn things. 10 weeks ago Drew was a blob, now he does things! He hits toys and grabs onto dangling toys. It's so cute, sometimes he grabs with both hands and looks like he's doing baby pull ups. He kicks all the time, I don't have anything for him to play with with his feet but he doesn't seem to mind just kicking the air. He finally got the crinkly bug on his mirror, he's been trying to get it for about a week now. The problem with that is he pulled it right on his head, he didn't mind though. I get the feeling I have 100% boy on my hands. I think he'll be into everything, running everywhere, and get right back up when he falls down. He is so active and alert already. The other day at Starbucks he was people watching. I thought only adults did that. He watched everyone come in and out of the door and even made cute noises at some people. When we were laying on a blanket outside he even turned his head to follow a bird that flew overhead. He pays attention to everything. I guess that's why he doesn't like to nap, he doesn't want to close his eyes and miss a second of fun.
**Andrew rolled over today!!!! He was playing on his tummy then flip, he was on his back. He's so big :)

Monday 7/27/09:
I am just amazed at how fast babies learn things. Andrew is so much fun, I love him so much. He can roll over now, he doesn't do it all the time but occasionally he rolls from his tummy to his back going to the left and the right. His vision has dramatically improved now when we walk around the house he looks at everything, every picture on the wall, every thing on the counter, he acts so surprised to be seeing so many things. It's fun to walk around with him, I love showing him things. He laughs when I play with him a lot now, it's so cute. I love his laugh, I could listen to it all day. He still doesn't smile for strangers but I don't care as long as I get the smiles :) hehe
I am so lucky to be married to Gary, he wanted me to stay home to raise our son and I'm so thankful. I could not be away from my little guy all day long. If I was at work all day I would miss his happiest hours of the day. I love to just lay on the blanket and talk to Drew. Yes, talk to him. He is a chatterbox. He never shuts up! He even tries to talk when he eats now. Many times when he's eating he'll stop look at me and smile and then go back to eating. It's adorable. It's like he's saying thanks for the good food mom. I love my life!
Drew is getting so good at holding things. He can grab onto toys and explore them a little now and he already puts everything in his mouth. I didn't think that started until they were older. He doesn't care if it's a toy, your hand, or his arm. The other day I thought he had bruises on his arm, then I realized he did but he caused them. He sucked on his arm so hard he gave himself a hickey...silly baby.
poopy story of the month: Grandma Poyer bought a shirt that says new family favorite, but it's super girly because it was bought before anyone knew Drew was a boy. I put it on him today to take a picture of our new family favorite :) He wore it for a few hours and was playing in his bouncy seat when I realized it was time for a diaper change. Boy was it ever. He pooped out of his diaper all over the shirt and made a pool of poop in his bouncy seat. Lovely, just lovely. I guess that was Drew's way of telling me not to dress him in girly shirts.
Thursday 7/30/09:
Yesterday I watched Drew and Ethan for a little bit, I think it will be okay having both of them. The only thing that I felt bad about was when Drew woke up from a quick nap and saw me feeding Ethan. He flipped out, I guess he does not want to share his mommy. So I held Ethan and fed him and propped Drew in the boppy and gave him a bottle so he would know that mommy still loves him too. Everything was fine after that. When Drew and Ethan were playing on the jungle mat Drew kept giving Ethan the baby evil eye. Maybe it's good I'll be watching another baby. Drew seems very possessive :)
Yesterday I also met Nicki for breakfast at Panera, Drew is getting good at girl talk! He really is an easy going baby. As long as he has food and is a little rested he's good to go. I'm the same way! Give me a cookie and a nap and I'm alright.
Bedtime is getting so much easier. I have my little routine and last night it went flawlessly. Drew fell asleep without a peep, no crying, no fussing, just sleeping. Now if I could get him to sleep longer than 3 hours. He's such a hungry baby.
Sunday 8/2/09:
Sigh, my little guy is growing up. He wore a newborn size shirt yesterday and it's the last time he'll ever wear it. I packed up his newborn clothes and put them away. I can't believe he's been here long enough to outgrow stuff already. It was sad, he's my baby drew and he's getting bigger. He's wearing 0-3 month clothes but I know 3-6 is just around the corner. When I was pulling out the 3-6 month outfits and putting them in his dresser they looked so big. My baby is going to be wearing those soon :( He's not a newborn anymore, he's turning into a baby. A big chunky baby too. He's probably 14 pounds now, I can't believe it, but he's so cuddly now. You just have to hug him when you see him.

Drew, June 2009

2012-02-20T17:06:00.002-06:00

Month Two for Drew!

Wednesday 6/3/09:
I tried the limited feedings yesterday like Dr. Pera said and Drew ate exactly every 2 hours, exactly. I fed him about 15-20 minutes each side and then made him stop. He seemed okay and the next time I fed him he did get down to business and eat not goof around. He even ate every 2 hours all night long. It was a long night. He ate for 30 to 40 minutes then it took about another 15 minutes to settle him down, then I laid him down and I would lay down for an hour and be back up to feed him again. When will his tummy get bigger? Before when I was letting him nurse longer I could sometimes get 3 maybe a little more hours out of a feeding. I sure hope the things Dr. Pera suggested works.
This morning I put Drew in his swing and went upstairs to wash up. He started crying but I couldn't come down stairs that exact moment, I was in the potty, so he had to just cry. I came downstairs as soon as possible but by then he had stopped crying and was almost asleep. Ahhh, my poor little guy feel asleep crying, I feel so bad. Mommy wasn't there to comfort him. It really brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure he's fine but it's the first time I didn't pick him up when he's started crying. Now he's napping in my lap, so I feel better :)
Friday 6/5/09:
Okay, so now I realize I was a few days off on the month switch over, I was still counting weeks, he was 4 weeks old on the 2nd, in my lack of sleep mind that meant a month. I've also noticed in my lack of sleep mind that I can't tell my left from my right. I will write down in Drew's feeding log which side he started eating on and know that I'm supposed to start on the other side. I'll think in my head, okay we're on left now and proceed to start him on the right. The sad thing is I don't realize right away, and people say pregnancy brain is bad; no sleep brain is worse!
This week has been really exciting, Andrew met his little friend Ethan who he will get to know real well. I'll be watching Ethan when the school year starts. The two little guys are going to have so much fun together, I'm sure I'll double my gray hairs but I'm looking forward to it. Then we went and met a 3 year old Andrew, baby Matthew and Audrey and 1 year old Ava. Andrew is so popular already. It's nice that I know moms our here already, at least I have people I can talk to and they understand what I'm going through, and it's also not weird to ask about poopy :) Ahhh the sophisticated conversations of a mom.
Andrew must have known he was turning into a big boy, last night he slept so well. He slept 3 hours, woke up and ate in under an hour, then slept 3 more hours, woke up and ate, then slept 2 more. I love this baby! Thank you gypsies for giving me my happy night time baby back! It's amazing the difference when you get some sleep. I was seriously getting 4 hours a day, and not all at once. I didn't know how much longer I could function, my body felt like it was shutting down. Please please please let him start sleeping like this at least a couple times a week!!!
I've decided that any woman who has an epidural should automatically get a bikini wax. I mean, you're already numb down there and afterward I seriously was afraid of that part of my body. It hurt, it had stitches in it, it was bleeding, I wasn't about to go near it, now I have the job of making myself look presentable for my follow up appointment.
Saturday 6/6/09:
Andrew already knows that he'll be going to college but how did he find out about frat boys? Dad wasn't one, I wasn't in a sorority. Last night he slept from 10pm to 2am, got up, ate, then partied all night until 5:30 when he drank until he passed out and slept until 10am. Who told him he could party all night? I know it was Friday night but we're a boring family, we don't party on Friday nights. Today he's been pretty good, I'm noticing a little more awake time. We even got out the ocean mat and played on that, he grabbed at one of the toys a couple times, he's becoming so alert. In his swing he notices the owls from time to time. It's so cute, he'll look up and watch them and go crossed eyed. Sometimes he even reaches his hand up. I tried to capture that on video but of course as soon as I turned the camera on he just sat there. Oh well, next time maybe he'll be more exciting.
Wednesday 6/10/09:
I took Andrew in for a weight check yesterday, he's 9 pounds 3 ounces. That's awesome! Now I don't have to go back for weight checks until his 8 week appointment! I can't believe how fast he gained weight, but I did the same thing when I was pregnant, I would go a month without gaining a pound then gain 7 in a week. I guess I know why now, it's was all Drew's fault :) Having his weight down when I took him for his 1 month appointment really made me feel bad, it was all me. If I was formula feeding, so I up the formula, but I'm not and I can't tell how much he's eating. I was really trying to do the right thing with feeding him on demand. It makes me feel much better now that he's putting on weight. It's funny to think that I've fed him for 5 weeks now, that's about 10-15 meals a day for 5 weeks that I've supplied for him. That's a lot of food to make, and I did it!
I have been getting the hang of this mommy thing. Drew and I have gone out to a few stores and today we went to the Brookfield Zoo. Drew did awesome, he rode around in his baby bjorn carrier all day, it was great. It will be nice when he can hold his head up and I can face him out. So today I looked at animals while Drew looked at my cleavage all day, but that's his favorite thing right now. Haha! I am proud of myself too, I figured out how to feed him in public and not give everyone a show, I prefer sitting at home where I can let it all hang out but the blanket over the shoulder worked well today. I'll have to get one of those cover-ups that have the neck strap becasue I was nervous the blanket was going to blow off or Drew was going to pull it down, but it worked for today. I did discover this week that Drew is all boy. He has done okay on all of my outings except when I went to Michael's craft store, he started crying so I left. No sooner did I get in the parking lot than he calmed down. Hmm....just like his dad and his grandpa, complains about going into craft stores.
This week Drew has started smiling and making noises that aren't crying, I love it! Finally I'm getting so type of reaction. It's hard to give someone 100% of yourself and get nothing in return (I know some marriages that ended becasue of that). I love his smile and he has the cutest dimples, I don't know where they came from neither Gary nor I have dimples. I also love his little noises, except when he makes them at 2am when all I want to do is sleep. Speaking of sleep, well...it's getting better but it's hard to have no consistancy. I can deal with a lot if I know what's coming, I like to plan. I can work with 3-4 hours of sleep if I can count of getting it, it's when one night I'll get blocks of 2 hours of sleep, the next 4, then the next none at all! I guess I can throw my consistency out the window for the next 18 years.
Okay this is really funny if you like potty humor...Babies fart really really loud. It's hilarious, but Drew doesn't think so. He farts loud then gets this scared look on his face and starts crying. I think he scares himself. It's like this dog, Tofu, that my family had. He would fart and growl at his butt.
Now, funny without the potty humor. You know when you see someone you think you know and you go to wave to them only to realize that you don't know them so you pretend your fixing your hair and hoping that no one just saw that...yeah, now to my point. Drew does this :) He sees his little owls on his swing and goes to grab for them only to realize that they are too far away then he grabs his hair. I know that's not what he's doing but it sure looks like he doesn't want to look stupid for not being able to reach those little owls.
Monday 6/15/09:
Well, this starts our week on our own. Gary is in Atlanta for work, the days will be the same but the evenings worry me. Gary is so helpful in the evening, he always entertains and just takes him so I can get things done or just eat. He's also great at getting him to burp :)
Wednesday 6/17/09:
Well, I meant to write more on Monday but things got a little crazy. This week is going well so far. Drew and I are getting the hang of things, we sure do miss daddy but we are managing. I wish the housekeeper would stop slacking off, this place is getting to be a mess. I'm keeping up with the stinky stuff, like diapers and kitty box and dirty dishes but general clutter just keeps multiplying. I swear clutter is alive. my couch table has one piece of clutter, then all of a sudden I look and there's 10 pieces of clutter, then 20, then it's spilling onto the floor. How do people get rid of the clutter in their lives? I'm so embarrassed by my housekeeping, I really have to work on it. So please, if you come over just ignore my awful housekeeping skills and look at my wonderful baby making skills :) I have Mr. Adorable on my hands. Drew is so cute, I love looking at him all the time, this again could be the reason why my house is a mess, I sit and look at Drew instead of doing anything. Today Drew and I went shopping and he did awesome. This was the first time he didn't scream through the stores. We went to Kohls and he started to get fussy so I fed him in the dressing room. It worked nice, but I'm sure the woman at the fitting rooms wondered why it took me 45 minutes to try on 3 shirts. Last night was really nice. I fed Drew around 8pm, he was asleep in my arms at 9pm, so we both went to bed. He woke up at 12:30, I fed him and changed him then he went back to sleep!!!!! He never goes back to sleep he usually stays up for his 3/4 feeding but him and I both went to sleep and woke up at 4:30 to eat again. I was sure this was the start of my and I was okay with that, after all I did get some sleep, but no Drew fell asleep again!!!! He then woke up at 7:30 to eat and start the day. It was so nice, too bad Daddy missed it, I don't know if it will ever happen again. People say babies have their days and nights mixed up, that's not really true for Drew, he just has day and day. This was the first time he treated nighttime different than daytime. I'm so happy! Well, these are also the people that told me infants sleep up to 17 hours a day...false!
I went for my 6 week check up yesterday, everything was okay except I needed to have some abnormal scare tissue removed. But that's over and done with and I should heal normal now. I also still have the lump under my arm and my Dr. said it feels like a lymphoid. I don't know why it's swollen but she told me to keep an eye on it and to come back in August. I guess she doesn't think it's anything to worry about, meanwhile I'm sure it's some strange tumor but she thinks I'm okay. Of course at my appt. Drew cried through the whole thing, I told him to save those cries, in 2 weeks he has his 8 week appointment and he'll get his first shots. I don't even want to think about that.
So mommyhood has been quite an adjustment, no one can really prepare you for it. It's hard to even put into words how much my life has changed in 6 weeks. I also really appreciate the body I once had. I'm almost down to my pre-pregnancy weight but my tummy is all mushy, it's not a good look. I never realized how good I looked before. I love my little Drew so much, but there's times I get so frustrated with him and then I start feeling guilty. I guess that's parenthood right there. He'll eat and eat and eat and cry and cry and cry and finally be happy for a second and then cry that he's hungry again...this is when I sigh and think are you sure you have to eat because I really don't want to feed him. This is an awful thought but don't worry I always feed him, it's just he needs to give the girls at least 2 hours to rest but there are days when I don't get 2 hours in between feedings. When this happens I'm so sore it's hard for me to be happy to feed him, but once he gives me those grins when he's done eating I can't help but forget that I was frustrated and just kiss him a million times. I really do like feeding him, I love having him so close to me. There are times Drew is napping or in his stroller for a while and I really miss having contact with him, it makes me happy when he wakes up so I can cuddle with him again.
Drew is getting to be so much fun, he makes faces and plays with his little hands a lot. He sucks on his thumb and fingers and even the side of arm. It's so funny to watch he'll try to put his hand in his mouth and he'll move it too fast and he'll hit himself right in the face. I can't help but laugh but he looks at me like who punched me? He's so adorable. Too bad it's so much work (and money and pain) to have a big family because Gary and I sure do make cute children, we would be doing the world a favor by putting more good looking people on it, hahaha.
Saturday 6/20/09:
Put this date on the calendar, it's a milestone. Drew was looking drowsy so I went upstairs and laid him in his own crib. He woke so I put on his bunny mobile and patted him and he started to get drowsy again. I walked away. Two minutes later he was crying. I went back upstairs and left him in his crib but bent over and hugged him and turned his bunnies on again and sang to him. It didn't take too long for him to fall asleep. I kept singing to him as I let go and sang as I slowly walked further away. I finally walked out of the room and came downstairs. It took about 20 minutes total from the first time I put him down to nap, not a bad time commitment since he's still asleep in his own bed and it's been 45 minutes now. I am going to try the same thing at bed time, but I'm nervous about that. Wish me luck! I've never put Drew down to sleep without him being 100% out, this was the first time I didn't rock him completely asleep, I just rocked him to drowsy and let him do the rest. My little guy is getting so big and independent already.
Monday 6/22/09:
Why is one day so easy and the next the worst day ever? Are all babies like this? There are a lot of days, the majority of days, that Drew is either eating or crying. Where's the awake happy time that you always see on TV? The last 3 days Drew has been miserable. There has been virtually no happy moments. He is either eating or crying. Sleeping isn't even in the equation. There are times when he's even crying when he's eating. Is there something wrong? Who cries when they eat? I really think there is an issue because Drew isn't like this everyday, if it was his temperament wouldn't he always be rotten? He's always had moments where it seems like he's in pain but recently it's been almost everyday all day. He eats, after fighting to get him to latch on. He throws his head back, arches his back and shakes his head. Now you would think he's not hungry but he really wants to eat. When he finally gets latched on he eats like I haven't fed him in a week, he's a wild animal. When he's done with one side I try to burp him. He wails, he acts like I'm trying to kill him. He throws his body all over and screams and screams and screams and claws at his throat and claws at my throat, so I give up and let him start eating on the next side and he settles down instantly. So maybe some of his fussiness is trapped gas but I would rather have him kick his legs a lot that do the blood curdling scream that he does when I try to burp him. At least when I give him a bottle I can get him to burp right away, it's pretty rewarding. He makes this little throaty noise too, maybe it's reflux but I brought that up to my pediatrician 3 weeks ago and he brushed it off. Next week I'll bring it up again but if it is I'll be mad that he made me suffer for a month, and made poor little Drew be in pain for a month before believing me and doing anything about it. Sleep is a whole other issue. Drew is tired, he'll fall asleep and then wake up screaming. It doesn't matter if he's in my arms or in his bed. Even when I can get him to sleep about 45 minutes is all I get and then he starts coughing and crying. Sometimes I know he's not hungry but he gets so worked up and I don't know how to calm him down that I just feed him. It's the only time he doesn't act or sound like he's in pain. Why is everything about breastfeeding so hard? If is supposed to be best why does it have to be so difficult. I don't know how much he's eating, he has to eat more often, he can't seem to burp, not to mention you can't just wear normal clothes. I have to think would this shirt be easy to pull up, and then layer a tank under it so when my shirt is pulled up you can't see my belly. Even the nursing bras are getting on my nerves. They aren't lined and you aren't supposed to wear underwires because it can cause clogged areas. So now I have to be careful with what shirt I put on that it's not too thin so you can see through it, and usually see the outline of the pad because my girls feel the need to leak all over and then I have to deal with the girls not being held up like I like them. I'm used to wearing a slightly padded light push up bra. Granted now I probably don't need any padding but I would like a little more sexy shape to them, not mommy nursing shape. That's the one part of my body that I really liked, and now it's not sexy either.
Tuesday 6/23/09:
Am I in an episode of I love lucy? What a crazy day today. I scheduled for my carpets to be cleaned this morning, no big deal right? Wrong! The carpets guys said they would be here between 8 and 9am, but they would call when they were on their way. I fed Drew and waited...and waited...and waited. They did show up before 9am but just barely and they didn't call ahead of time. I had Drew in the baby bjorn when they rang the doorbell. I needed to put the cats away in a rush, since they didn't call. In case you don't own cats, they don't like to be rushed. I grabed Diego who is about 15 pounds while wearing Drew who is about 10 pounds, that was a lot of weight to walk around with. Then I had to chase down Tia. I finally got her and she started flipping out. I didn't want her to scratch Drew so I held her to the side, they that gave her easy access to my arm, she tore it to ribbons while I was trying to lock her up in the bedroom. Finally I let the cleaners in and they did what they needed to do, they warned me to be careful and not to slip on the floors. In about 40 minutes they were done and they left, ahh, it wasn't even 11am and I was already looking productive. The next hour Drew and I picked up the house a little, read my book and made lunch. Then the carbon monoxide detector started going off. I didn't know what to do so I called Gary. He said to leave and let the house air out. But I was scared for the kitties, why was it going off? I called my friend Nicki to ask who to call. Does the fire department handle this? Nicki said to call the gas company, so that's what I did. The gas company called the fire department and they sent a truck over. When they got here I was standing outside with Drew and was a nervous wreck. One fireman went inside with some ghostbusters looking meter thing and came almost running out to tell the other two in the truck that it was a real call, not the dead battery alarm. Oh my god, they thought I called the fire department over a dead battery? Anyway the other two ran inside and then started asking me questions, was I cooking? Was I doing laundry? I said no, and I wasn't running the furnace either (they laughed at that because it was almost 100 degrees outside that day). I then told them I had just had my carpets cleaned and they knew exactly what happened. They said the guys probably parked in my garage without telling me and left their truck on and then left closing my garage behind them and not letting it air out. They brought out some exhaust fans and aired my place out. It was fine in about an hour but that was one hot hour to be outside with little Drew. What a day! Too bad Drew is too little to appreciate the fun of having a fire truck and firemen at the house.
Wednesday 6/24/09:
I am not a domestic goddess, I know shocker!! There's so many things in life we can't control and so many things I wish I could do better. I want to not only be a good stay at home mom but enjoy doing it. I know that's asking a lot, but I have discovered the simple joys of ironing. There's a problem...the clothes are wrinkled, there's a tool...the iron, and there's me squishing out all the wrinkles. I can watch the problems leaving right before my eyes. I wish I could make all my problems vanish just like that, I wish I could squish away everything that bothers me just like I can squish away the wrinkles. So I may not be living up to my 1950's housewife image that I would so like to have but I am a master ironer and love it. I feel so accomplished and it's a task that doesn't take very long. In a matter of minutes I can get every wrinkle out of a shirt and I feel good about it. So on days when the dinner is burned, or not even made, the house is a disaster, and the baby is crying you'll find me smiling behind the ironing board.
On another note when do you stop hearing things as a mom? I swear I hear Drew crying when he's not. I'm lying in bed and he's in the bassinet and I get up because I think I hear him, nope, it's just me going crazy. I'm downstairs and he's in his crib and I go upstairs because I think I hear him, nope...he's sleeping. I leave him in his swing while I take a shower, I jump out becuase I think I hear him, no again. Am I going nuts or is this because of the no sleep thing? Seriously when will I get more than 4 hours of sleep a day. I am exhausted, Drew sleeps and naps in 1-2 hours increments, I can't get any sleep and when I do finally lay down I just keep waiting for the next cry. I just lay there not able to fall asleep just waiting because I know I'm going to have to get up soon. It's so painful to get up only an hour after you've fallen asleep. Please please please Drew let mommy get some sleep!
Saturday 6/27/09:
Okay there are some firsts to record this week. A few weeks ago my little guy learned that he has hands, now he has discovered there are other parts to his body. He was sitting in his owl chair and instead of looking up at his owls he was looking down at his feet. He loves to kick his feet and on Thursday he was fascinated with these little moving things attached to his body. It was so fun to watch. I can't wait until he realizes he can grab those little feet, I love when babies do that. On Friday morning I was laying on the floor playing with Drew when he kept reaching out and grabbing my nose and my lips. He's always been very handsy, even before he was born, but this was the first time he looked at me and reached out his hand and grabbed what he was looking at. He has grabbed at toys and hit them with his hands but I think that was more of an accident. It was cute he would put his hand in his mouth then reach out and try to put his hand in my mouth. Finally yesterday Drew visited the pool for the first time. My friend Sue invited me to her pool. Drew cried at first but the second time I put his feet in the water he seemed to like it. In a few months I want to sign up for the water babies class with him. He better like the water, mommy loves the water!
Sleep isn't getting better, in fact we've taken a step back. I can't get him to sleep in his crib all night. He goes to bed in his crib but ends up with me by morning. If he could just sleep through one of his middle of the night feedings we would be good to go, but until then we just have to deal with this.
Sunday 6/28/09:
It's only 12:30 and I can't take anymore today. Andrew hasn't slept in days and now Gary is out with his friend today having fun. I need a break, seriously. It's been almost 60 days of Andrew attached to me. I haven't even stepped outside alone. And Gary seriously thought that I would go to the grocery store today, can't I have a weekend? Can't I have a minute off? I work during the week just like him. I grocery shop and take care of Drew all week. I need a down time too. At night Gary goes to bed, I don't I work even harder to keep Andrew quiet so he doesn't wake Gary. Can't Gary take him and entertain him for a few hours so I can take a nap? I have bottles made if he gets hungry. I seriously either need someone to relieve me or Andrew needs to sleep and stop crying all day long. I posted a short video but that is nothing compared to the crying I have heard the last 3 days, the next video will be me sitting in the bouncy chair crying too :)
Monday 6/29/09:
Today was better than yesterday, but that could be because Andrew was in the baby bjorn the whole morning. We went on a nature walk and then went shopping at Wal*Mart. Right now Daddy is playing with Drew before it's feeding time once again. I posted a video of Andrew on the ocean mat, it's a little long and he's still a little boring but it's better than yesterdays video :) and if you get really bored watching it you can just get up and dance to the music!
Tuesday 6/30/09:
Drew is 8 weeks old today and he was in a good mood so we broke out the camera and shot away. When he's happy he's so much fun. He's getting so active, he kicks his legs all the time. I have a feeling I'm going to be in trouble when he learns to walk, I can just picture him running all over the house. His arms are also always going. It's hard to get a picture without them moving all over. It's really funny, before Drew was born he punched me a lot, during one ultrasound he was violently punching the placenta. I joked it was because he wanted more food, it was like punching a vending machine, extra candy would fall out. This week Drew started punching me when he's eating. It's really cute, and it appears like he's punching me to get more food. After he's been eating for about 10 minutes he starts punching away, like he's saying I'm still eating keep that food coming! I love my little guy!
Sunday 7/5/09:
Happy 2 months Andrew! I love my little guy, I can't believe he's here and it's been 2 months already. Monday we go for his first shots. I'm not looking forward to that but I am looking forward to going to the doctor. Drew is having some rough days. He cries so much after he eats, he coughs a lot, he acts like he's gagging, he always sounds phlegmy, he can't sleep. It's getting too much to handle. I'm so tired I just need a nap but Drew doesn't nap long enough for me to get any sleep and no one else will keep him quiet and entertain him while I sleep. Why can't I have a happy baby? I have a feeling Drew is going to be an only child, Gary doesn't want to go through this again. Drew just cries all the time and there's nothing that will settle him down, except eating, but then the minute he stops eating he cries again. It's not in the evenings like everyone says colic is, it's all day. Who in the family has a nasty grumpy personality that Drew got this from? I'm nice and easy going, he didn't get his crappy attitude from me! Drew also still cries at bath time. I thought babies liked baths. I feel like I'm torturing the poor thing everytime I do anything to him. He cries when I wash him, he cries when I undress him, he cries when I change him. I'm so tired of the crying. I understand that's how he communicates but what is he trying to tell me?!? Typical man I guess, I feel like he's speaking a different language. He isn't much of a conversationalist :) He either doesn't respond to me or he dominates the conversation with only his interests (crying).
I just feel like I'm failing him in some way. I try everything when he cries. I walk with him, rock him, bounce him, pat him, hold him up, hold him flat against my chest, lay him down, play with him in the bouncy chair, lay him down on the ocean mat, put him in the owl swing, lay him in the crib, put him on an incline, shush him, sing to him, hold him close and try to ignore the cries, cry with him, feed him, bathe him, change him, give him a baby massage, swaddle him, unswaddle him, take him outside, take him for a walk. I'm beat, I wish I knew what to do.

Drew's 1st month May 2009

2012-02-20T16:55:00.002-06:00

Drew's First Month

Thursday 5/14/09:
What a difference a day makes. Tuesday was rotten and the minute that day was over Drew was like a whole different baby. I guess it took him a week to get used to life and it took us a week to get used to him. It also helps that I am feeling better. I still get really hurty if I do stuff. I had no idea how sore and worn out I would be after giving birth. I'm so thankful that my parents were here for a little while, it was nice to just be able to hand the baby to someone for a little bit and my mom actually let me get chunks of sleep that I would not have gotten otherwise. It was sad, she had to leave today. I really do wish we all lived closer, it's hard not knowing when we'll see each other again and knowing that Drew will grow so fast, but I don't like to think about that part. I don't want my baby to grow up fast. It's very strange, exactly one year ago today my parents left my house as well (5/14/08), and then I called them and said I had a miscarriage. This time I have a healthy baby boy. I'm so thankful that he's here, I love him so much. I just laid him down in his little bassinet and he's sleeping, on his own, without cuddling with mommy. It's nice that he's asleep without me but it really makes me sad to see him sleeping all alone. I miss not having him close to me, he's been my buddy for over 9 months now, I enjoy cuddling with him. But at 3am I will appreciate him sleeping alone :)
I learned a valuable lesson today, always go pee before you start feeding baby. I figured Drew would nurse about 15-20 minutes, no problem...65 minutes later the little bugger was done. I thought my bladder was going to explode. The doctor said Drew's stomach could hold about 1-2 ounces, I think that's wrong. You don't eat for an hour and only get an ounce or two of food.
Awww, my baby is growing up already, he lost his dried up belly button yuck today. I was going to give him a bath to celebrate but when I pulled the new tub out there were instructions and I needed a screwdriver, for a bathtub!. So I gave my little guy a sponge bath, which he screamed through and then wrapped him up tight, he's now clean and full and sleeping on my chest. I love all the little noises he makes when he's sleeping on me, he also gets little smiles on his face. I wish I knew what he was dreaming about that was making him so happy :) I bet it's me!
Friday 5/15/09:
lesson of the day - no matter how tired you are don't change the baby in your own bed. It was somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, possibly 2am. I was exhausted and Andrew would not settle down to sleep. I fed him and bounced him and then heard a bunch of baby tummy noises, time to change the diaper. I laid his blanket down on my bed and was just going to change him real quick. Nothing at 2am with a sleep deprived mom is ever real quick. I fumbled around in the dark to get everything I needed and started changing him. I was wiping his butt when he I heard what sounded like water and him screaming, he was peeing on his face! I quickly turned him so he wouldn't continue to pee on himself and he proceeded to pee all over his shirt, his blanket, my sheets, and Gary! Ugh, next time I will use the changing table, even if I am tired.
Saturday 5/16/09:
The American Pediatric society would love to get their hands on me. Since Andrew came home he's been sleeping with me. I don't like hearing cry, no wait, it's not that I don't like it I just can't let him cry, I have to pick him up, it makes me sad to hear him cry and then I cry and then we are both crying, how is that a good thing? So Andrew and I have found very comfortable ways to sleep together. Hehehe, I'm sleeping with 2 men every night. Last night he fell asleep near me, not snuggled on me like usual but he fell asleep on his tummy, another huge no-no, though both my husband and I were (still are) stomach sleepers. I'll work on getting him on his back and in his crib but he's not even 2 weeks old yet, there's plenty of time for him to not want to be with mommy, I just love having him in my arms now. This evening he actually slept in his bassinet for a nap. I put him down around 5pm so I could eat and it's now about 6:15 and he's still napping. That's huge, he usually starts crying about 5 minutes after I put him down. But he still isn't following all the rules, he is sleeping on his side. Though I didn't put him like that, he roles over on his side. I didn't think an infant would be able to roll around so much but he's one active little guy. He's also so handsy, which he was inside me as well. I have to try to do something with his nails tonight, he's marked his pretty little face all up.
Monday 5/18/09:
Today it's just me and Drew, daddy went back to work. I think we'll be okay. Yesterday and last night were rough. We're still trying to figure things out. After Drew eats he screams, when he lays down he coughs and chokes and gurgles and then cries. I don't know if he's not burping enough or if his food is coming back up, he's not spitting up though. When I try to burp him he cries like he's in pain, and he gets mad because I've interrupted his feeding. But people have said to burp him after every ounce, not like I know when he's eaten an ounce but I try to burp him after 15 min's, he does not like burping when he's eating. I guess it will just take time to get things right.
It's noon and I'm still in my jammies, what happened to the day? I didn't do anything, well that's not true. I fed the baby, changed the baby, fed the baby, rocked the baby, burped the baby, napped with the baby, fed the baby, changed the baby, finally put Andrew in his crib where he is sleeping soundly, but on his tummy. He will fall asleep instantly and stay asleep on his tummy, he gurgles and chokes and coughs on his back. I'm not sure what to do about that yet. When I picked him up off my chest I had a little hand print on my skin, it was so cute. I love his little hands :)
Wednesday 5/20/09:
My little guy is 2 weeks old, He looks more person like and less alien like everyday :) I still think newborns are weird looking but I love my little weird looking guy. My days are going pretty good so far, I know it hasn't been very long but I'm starting to figure out what to do all day and in one way it's nice to only have to worry about Andrew. I am done with my classes so I don't have homework, I am on leave so I don't have to worry about work, all I need to do is cater to Andrew's every need. I like it, it's really laid back. If it wasn't for the fact that I keep up on his feedings I would have no reason to ever look at a clock, there's never been a better time in my whole life. I love taking care of my little guy. It's funny how people lie to you about newborns though. These are the same people that said pregnant people are warm, I was freezing all the time. Now I'm a little warm, but Drew is like a little oven, he gives off so much heat. People told me babies sleep up to 17 hours a day, maybe they meant per week because there's no way Drew is sleeping any where near that amount. Let's see other lies I've heard, babies feed 8 to 12 times a day, meaning every 2 to 3 hours. Okay, this isn't a lie but people left out a huge piece of information on this. Drew feeds somewhere between every hour to every 4 hours, here's the kicker...it takes him an hour to eat most times. This means if he eats every 2 hours and it takes him an hour to eat I have an hour in between feedings, that would be false as well. He has a little acid reflux issue if I lay him down after eating so I have to keep him more upright for about 30 minutes after he eats, now I'm down to just 30 minutes before it's time to whip out the girls again. It's exhausting, I can see why people bottle feed. I just keep telling myself that I'm doing the best thing for him. Let's see what else is false that I've heard so far...breastfeeding isn't a form of birth control. You wanna bet, when you only have 30 minutes between feedings do you really want to spend your only 30 minutes without a little guy attached to your body just to have a big guy attached to your body, I don't think so, this is the best form of birth control ever. On that same point who is thinking about anything going near their nether regions anytime soon. Seriously who are these crazy people that get pregnant before their 6 week check up. Which brings me to the next lie, you'll forget all about the pain as soon as you see your baby. Nope, not true, as far as I'm concerned now Andrew can be an only child. I am not about to go through that again anytime soon. It's been 2 weeks and I'm still sore, people way underestimated the amount of pain you feel when you have a baby. Awww, Gary is holding a sleeping baby right now, they are so cute together, I would get a picture but Gary doesn't like his picture taken, so I won't torture him, he's being a good sport taking Andrew and calming him down.
Friday 5/22/09:
Yesterday Andrew ate and ate and ate, I couldn't get anything done but today has been perfect so far. I fed Drew last night around 7pm, he was asleep by 8pm in my arms. At 9 I went upstairs and put him in his crib and I went to bed. Just after 10pm Drew woke up and Gary played with him for a bit and then I woke up. I fed him and again and just after 11pm he was asleep again. I laid him down next to me in bed and went to sleep myself. At 2:45 he was making some noises and rooting around in his sleep...must be feeding time. I got up and went into his room to feed him, he's a noisy eater. We rocked and ate and listened to my iPod until 4:45 and then went back to bed. He slept next to me until 8:45am. It was great. Then we came down stairs and I got breakfast and a magazine and settled down for another feeding. He ate, while I read him some articles from my magazine and I ate my cereal one handed, I am getting to be the queen of one handed activities (hehehe, that sounds dirty). When he was done I put him in his crib and pumped from the other side. When I was done with that I bounced him in his seat and danced around the living room with him. We were just about to do our mommy baby yoga dvd but he got hungry again so I fed him and now he's napping with mommy. Gary is coming home early today so hopefully he'll see Drew when he's happy, around 4pm when Gary gets home seems to be Drew's grumpy time.
Saturday 5/23/09:
I don't leave Andrew unattended so I want to know how gypsies sneak into my house at 10pm and steal my good baby and leave me with monster baby until 8am. I don't get it?! He's a nice sweet happy baby and then night time comes and he's pure evil. He cries if he's not eating and he wants to eat all night long. I am so good with him during the day but at night I can't take it, I just want a little non-feeding, non-crying time. By the time the sun comes up my boobs are so sore and I'm so tired and then all of a sudden the gypsies give me back my happy baby. Why won't he just settle down at night? Gary and I were planning on going to the arboretum and having a picnic today but we were both up all night long so now we're both grumpy and don't really feel like doing anything. Of course since the sun is up Drew is happily napping in his bassinet. I got it, I should move to Alaska when they have all sunlight, I would have happy baby all the time!
Monday 5/25/09:
I finally have a minute without a baby in my arms to update here. It's been rough, don't get me wrong I love little Drew but babies are hard work. At least I am feeling better, I'm still not 100% but I'm not in pain anymore, just slight discomfort every now and then. I think that's the worst part, you can deal with a lot unless you're in pain, then your body just wants you to recover but you can't, you have a little person who needs you. I have people that have said if I need anything to let them know but honestly I don't even know what I need and when I really need someone it's like 5am, baby has been up all night and I just need someone to hold him while I get 2 hours of sleep, but who can I call at 5am that will come over and sit at my house for a few hours. I could have used someone the other night too; Drew cried from 8pm to midnight. It was awful, nothing made him happy. Hopefully that doesn't happen again tonight, we're getting close to 8pm. It's funny a few days ago I was thinking that Drew sounds like the sesame street count when he cries. One, one crying baby, ah ah ah. And now I'm convinced that he is related to a vampire in some way. Drew sleeps during the daylight hours only to wake at night and instead of sucking blood he finds something else to suck on. As soon as the sun comes up he's ready for a nap again.   Well 8pm came and went and you could set your clock by it, but at least he wasn't as grumpy as yesterday. He fussed until 8:30, then I fed him until 9pm, he fell asleep so I attempted to put him to bed. After about 10 minutes he started crying, I tried to get him to settle back down without picking him up but it didn't work. I cuddled and rocked him until about 10pm when I fed him again and he finally fell asleep with me. He slept well until 1am when I got up and fed him a nice big meal and came back to bed, then he wanted to eat at 3am, 4am, and 5am. I really think I'm going to pump for my night time feedings. Drew just likes to be on mommy and falls asleep before he's full. Maybe if he ate from a bottle at night I would know that he was getting enough food and if he woke an hour later it would be for closeness or a clean diaper, not eating. It's so hard, I don't want to not give him something he needs but I think he just nurses for comfort, at 4am he ate for just a few minutes and fell back to sleep. The problem I'm having with the pumping for night time feedings is that it takes me all day to get 2 ounces and he needs more than that. I just don't understand, I pump for 30 minutes and get maybe an ounce, when Drew eats milk is everywhere, he can't keep up with it. He stops to catch his breath and he's overflowing with milk. Also when he's eating from one side the other side is like a milk volcano, isn't there an off valve. It's frustrating there's milk everywhere, running out of Drew's mouth, dripping down my side, soaking my shirt, but when I want to pump I can't get any. This stuff is like liquid gold, I am so careful with the small bottle that I pump too. I'm so afraid I'm going to spill it and be out a whole days worth of work.
I guess how it goes in the baby is how it comes out of the baby too. Milk volcano in, poop volcano out. I have never heard anything poo so loud. He's a tiny baby, how does he make such a big sound. It's pretty funny, it scares him too. You'll hear this huge explosion and then he'll start crying. If I heard my poo shoot out of my body like that I would probably cry too. Yesterday he had poo everywhere, it was up his back, all over his boy parts, and got his cute little jammies all poopy. He is a poop machine. It's fun to laugh at him because it's the only thing he does except eat and sleep now.
Friday 5/29/09:
It's only taken almost a month but I'm starting to get bored. I wish I could just set Andrew down and do some things around the house. Maybe I'll try it, I just feel bad making him (letting him) cry. He's crying for a reason and I don't want him to think I don't care about him but I can't just sit around holding him all day. I already spend so much time sitting on my butt feeding him. Let's see he's just over 3 weeks old, so lets say 25 days. If he feeds on average 10 times a day for 30 minutes each time (though usually it's longer) that's 300 minutes everyday I sit feeding him, that's 5 hours a day of just eating time. Now he's been here approximately 25 days, that's 125 hours that I've sat around watching him eat. Then you have to add in the time that I rock him after he eats because I can't lay him down right away. And I wonder why my neck hurts? It's not becuase I carry him around all day, it's because for more than 5 hours a day I'm looking down at him. I can't help it, he's so cute. Whenever he's eating I'm watching him, when he's sleeping in my arms, I'm looking down at him. I love to look at him. The highlight of my day is when he falls asleep in my arms and while I'm watching him sleep he smiles. Sometimes it's a little Elvis grin with just a little lip curl to show off his little dimple other times it's a huge smile with mouth wide open. I love these times. I guess it's just reassurance to me that he is okay. I know what people say, that it's just gas, but those people are crazy, he screams and cries when he has gas. Sometimes he farts so loud he wakes himself up and then starts crying. These are little smiles and they are the reason I sit and stare at him all day long. Just to know that he's happy when he's sleeping makes me feel good. I don't get anything from him when he's awake, it's either crying or not crying but I'm never sure if he's happy, just content. Sleepy smiles are the highlight of my day.
Sunday 5/31/09:
I have such a big guy! Last night Andrew noticed that he has hands. He was waving them around and all of a sudden he looked at them and watched himself move them. He's so smart. I've also noticed that he moved them more deliberately too. When he first came home he would have his eyes wide open and randomly a finger would end up in one, he would look at me like he was saying lady, tell this guy to stop poking me in the eye. Now he doesn't randomly poke his eyes out. He still grabs a hold of his cheek chub and leaves little finger marks in it but it's getting better.
You wouldn't think sleep would be the hardest part of being a baby. I can't seem to get Drew comfortable. It's not that he's crying because he's lonely or just wants to be held he chokes and coughs and spits up every time I lay him on his back, and not just to sleep, even to change his diaper he fusses when he's on his back. I'm glad we're going to the Dr. on Tuesday, maybe his food is coming up? I looked at sleeping wedges at the store and the one they had only had about a 15 degree angle, Drew really needs to be at a 45 degree angle or he gags. We ended up buying some $40 snuggle thing, he hasn't used it yet because he was having a bad night last night but hopefully he uses it and we didn't waste our $40.
I hope people are right, but I'm not counting on it, people have lied to me since the day I got pregnant, anyway I hope they are right that things get better around 6 weeks because the longer it goes on like this the more I'm feeling like I'm not good at my new job of a mom. It sounds so simple, feed your baby, but I feel like I can't even do that right. I can't tell when he's done nursing or just taking a break, he appears full so we stop and then a few minutes later he's crying for food. When I do try to feed him he's like a wild animal. He arches his back and throws his head back, not an easy position to nurse in. He acts like he's in pain but he still wants to eat. Then when he does latch on he bangs his head against me, not every time, but many times and I don't know why. Then it's burping time, he does not like to burp for me, he cries like I'm beating him, so I don't worry about it unless he's eating from a bottle. He doesn't seem to get many air bubbles from nursing anyway and when I pick him up to switch sides or change his diaper that seems to do the trick just fine. The next problem is I nurse all the time. During the day he eats about every 2 hours, which I know is said to be normal, I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is that every evening he nurses and nurses and nurses and still cries and cries and cries. He's been nursing 2-3 hours in the evenings before bed and is still hungry. I've given him a little formula a few nights and after 3 hours on me he still eats 1 to 2 ounces of formula. It's crazy, why can't I make enough food for my baby? It's a job I'm supposed to be able to do and I can't make him happy. He's not even a month old and I can't get him enough, what's going to happen down the road? I don't want to formula feed, I can't afford to formula feed! I know I have to keep eating to make sure I have enough calories for milk production but I haven't felt good. Ever since I had him there's some times I can eat a full meal but most times I take a few bites and my stomach feels off. I know I'm probably not eating enough but I just don't feel good and food doesn't taste good most of the time. I just want to feel like myself again. Right now I feel like I can only do one of the three tasks up to par, that would be failing if it were a test. I'm glad I'm going to the Dr. in 2 weeks because I still have a lump under my arm that I don't know why it's there and I'm light headed a lot. This could go back to the not eating much thing but it's not like I'm not eating all day, I'm dizzy almost every time I stand up. It scares me when I have Drew in my arms because I feel so weak, what if I drop him! So now I'm sitting on the couch letting Andrew sleep in my arms, I would rather he slept in my arms at a 45 degree angle and I was awake than put him in his crib and make him gag and throw up. I just want to make him happy, and I feel so bad that he's uncomfortable, I can tell he's tired and wants to sleep so it's the least I can do to give him a comfortable position to sleep in.
Monday 6/1/09:
Today is much better than yesterday. Drew slept for almost 3 hours alone in his bassinet on his special sleep positioner. This means that I got much needed sleep alone in my own bed. He woke up between 12 and 1am for a feeding, which is normal and then didn't settle back down until 3:30, which again is normal. I don't know how to make this any quicker. He gets up around 12:30, we eat until about 1:30 and then change the diaper because he usually poops right after he eats, then we usually have to have a snack because he never eats all at once and just finishes. So we nurse for about another 30 minutes. Then we rock in the rocking chair until he's asleep. I thought he had gone back into deep sleep but when I tried to lay him down he woke up, so I rocked him for another 20 minutes or so and then just put him next to me in bed. He dozed on and off until about 6:30 or 7am so I got a few more minutes of sleep, he's very noisy when he's not in his deep sleep so it's hard to sleep next to him. We came downstairs and I fed him then played with him. He's making all kinds of funny faces now, he's trying to smile but doesn't have that mastered yet. Then I put him in his swing while I grabbed breakfast. He dozed for a few minutes while I ate then I changed him and danced around, then we vacuumed the floor and he ate again. He started dozing so I grabbed an ice cream bar and settled in thinking he would nap and I could read my book. He was really out so I went upstairs and put him in his bassinet and started some laundry. Well that didn't last, he woke up so I picked him up and we're now downstairs eating, again and I'm eating lunch too. He really needs to nap, he's looking tired. He's been pretty good though, no screaming today.
Tuesday 6/2/09:
Happy 1 month Andrew!
Today Andrew is one month old. One month, sometimes it feels like he's always been here other times it feels like he just moved in yesterday. The last month of pregnancy was sooooo slow yet this first month with Drew has gone so fast. Today we went to the Dr. and found out that Andrew is 8lbs 10oz. Dr. Pera was concerned that he's not gaining weight very fast. I'm feeding him all the time but he's still not putting on weight, he's only in the 10th percentile for weight. Dr. told me to make him wait 2-3 hours in between feedings and then only feed him for about 15-20 minutes each side, that is 100% different than what the lactation consultant told me and it seems weird, I have a baby that's not gaining weight, so feed him less? He said it will make him a better eater and he will stop his "snacking", I hope it works.

Drew's 1st week May 2009

2012-02-20T16:49:00.002-06:00

The First Week

Tuesday: The birth Day - Andrew was born at 4:27pm. The first thought that went through my mind was Thank God that's over, I can't believe I did it. When I was being stitched back together and Andrew was being checked out Gary and I could hear him crying. I looked up at Gary and just said that's our son. Our son, those words sound so amazing to me. Around 5pm I got to hold my little guy for the first time. It was strange looking down at this little person and thinking he's mine. He looked so foreign to me, I just assumed after 9 months of toting this little guy around I would feel like I already knew him, but I didn't know how to react, I now had a little person in my arms. Even if I felt like I had been handed a stranger he sure knew his mommy and daddy. Gary said hi to him and he turned his little head to look right at his daddy, it was so sweet and so amazing at the same time. I guess we really did have someone eavesdropping in on all if our conversations.
At about 5:30pm the nurse recommended that I eat. I had been waiting for hours to eat and all I wanted was a fruit cup and ginger ale. Can you believe the hospital didn't have ginger ale?! I did get my fruit cup and ordered mac and cheese. I'm sure the food was good but after throwing up during pushing I guess I just didn't feel like eating. When I was done "eating" the nurse came back to help get up and walk to the bathroom. It is strange having someone hold hospital pads under you while you wobbily walk to the bathroom. Everything was good to go and they sent me down to the recovery room. It was nice to go downstairs but at this point I was so exahusted I was about to black out. They put Drew in his bassinet and a nurse came in to tell me 1000 things. I have no idea what she said I could not focus on anything, I seriously couldn't concentrate I was so tired. The second she left the room I was out. Apparently nurses came in and out and took Drew several times for testing but I had no clue, I slept and slept and slept. A few hours later I heard a little noise and realized that was my baby making noises, I was wide awake instantly. Gary stayed in my room with me and he said he couldn't sleep because Drew was making so many little noises. It's funny I didn't hear them until that one little sound and I was up. At this point I held Andrew and finally felt like I was holding my baby. Just being alone in the room with my two boys I started to realize that this was my family now.
Wednesday: Day 1- Today was a sore sleepy day. Andrew slept a lot today, which was good, I needed to sleep too. I really started to try to breastfeed today. Last night Andrew seemed like a natural, he instantly knew what to do, he's a boob man :)
Today things were a little different, he tried to feed but couldn't seem to get a good hold of things. The nurse finally brought me a breast shield and wow, what a difference that made. It gives him a little more to latch on to and things went smoothly. This morning the photographer also came in to take pictures. At about 9am she said she would be back in an hour. I couldn't believe what she was saying, I looked awful, I felt awful, I did not want my picture taken today. Plus Gary had run to McDonalds for breakfast so I didn't even know if he would be back in time. I forced myself out of bed and wet my hair to make it look like I had actually showered in the last 24 hours. I then put a little blush on, I was so pale, but the Doctor said I was anemic so that makes sense. Gary got back and he quickly washed up. I think the pictures actually came out beautiful for Andrew being 18 hours old and me going through everything I had in the last day. The funny thing was in the pictures I'm not even wearing pants :) I just pulled my black t-shirt on and staying in the hospital bed. The rest of the day was just nurses checking on me and Andrew. Around 6:30pm the nurse took my little guy to get circumcised, as if he wasn't grumpy enough. Gary was going to go home and get a good nights sleep but Andrew didn't get back into the room until after 8pm so he decided to stay, which was good because I didn't want him to leave but I didn't want to make him sleep another night on a pull out chair. I love him, he's so good to me. He spent the day getting me water and making sure I took my pain meds and ordering me food. He's awesome!
Thursday: Day 2 - The nurses warned me that this would be the day that Andrew wanted to feed a lot, he would try to get my milk to come in. He nursed over 360 minutes today, do you know what it feels like to have a someone messing with your boobs for that long. It was not fun for me, and since my milk wasn't in yet he was grumpy because he wasn't getting much of anything to eat. He cried a lot today and I couldn't get him to latch on, thus I cried today too. Today was also a little stressful because I was getting discharged but Andrew still didn't have the all clear. We were waiting for his 48 hour blood cultures to come back and for his bilirubin levels to drop. This morning Gary ran home to take a shower and get anything for the house that I would need since I would be coming home. While he was gone I started to nurse Drew, about 10 minutes into it I had to go potty, and not just a quick trip to the potty, I had to really go for the first time since giving birth. This is a very scary sensation. I put Andrew in his bassinet and went to the bathroom. Pretty soon Andrew started screaming, after all he was hungry, but this didn't help me relax any. I reached out the door and pulled his bassinet half way into the bathroom with me so at least I could try to console him. It was awful and I felt so bad for my little guy, I almost tried calling the nurse to take him so he would stop crying. Finally everything was okay and I went back to bed and continued nursing. It was extremely stressful but we made it through. The next stressful moment was leaving the hospital. It was about 10pm by the time they discharged Andrew so we were exhausted and it was dark, but we were going home. Right before we were going to leave I decided to feed Drew again so he wouldn't cry on the way home. I couldn't get him to latch on at all and he was just screaming. Gary called the lactation consultant and she told me to try feeding him lying down. I did and he latched on and seemed okay until he was done feeding, he wouldn't stop screaming. I took off his outfit thinking maybe he had a dirty diaper and he was burning up. We took his temperature and it was 100.2, very high considering the last few days he had been between 97 and 98 degrees. We called the night nurse and she was pretty grumpy, she just said yep babies get hot when you feed them. Nice of someone to tell me this. We cooled him down and started to get ready to leave. The car seat was quite a problem and Drew was not happy to get latched in it, the nurse again was pretty rude. We finally got wheeled out and it sounds crazy but this was pretty emotional for me. We were heading into the big scary world, I had just gotten comfortable in my hospital room with people there to help me. But away we went for our first night at home. When I got home I was already frustrated from the long day and the grumpy nurse. Thank goodness my mom was there to help out. She took Andrew so I could go to bed. Of course I didn't sleep very well, it was the first time that Drew wasn't by my side since his creation, but at least I slept.
Friday: Day 3 - Gary went to work today. It wasn't bad because my mom and dad are still here but next week is very scary, Gary will go to work and it will be just Drew and me in the house. I don't know that I can do it. Today wasn't too bad, lots of holding and rocking. We actually took a small walk today too. Drew did okay in the stroller, he got cranky on the way back home so I took him out. He never cried in it in the car but walking outside is something new. When Gary got home he went right to Drew. I am so in love with Gary, he is awesome with both me and Drew. He gets me anything I need, he really is treating me like a queen. On top of that he is right there for Drew's every need as well. He is wonderful at calming him down, he even invented the Plano pediatric tilt, it works every time, for just $29.95 we'll tell you the secret :)
Friday night was rough, I can't put Drew down, he screams. He sleeps so good in my arms but the minute I lay him in the crib he screams. I sat up all night with him so he would sleep but I don't know when I'm going to sleep. Drew was screaming and screaming, I tried taking him in the bathroom thinking the fan would drown out his noise and maybe it would distract him but no. Gary took a few minutes away and then tried to console him. Around 4am I started looking for my time clock, I was ready to punch out. Funny thing is I never found it, but I did find Grandma! I handed baby off to grandma and tried to sleep for a few minutes.
Saturday: Day 4- Ahhh, Saturday. Much better than Friday. The weather was great so we went for another walk, Drew cried again but we'll get there, hopefully he learns to like walking, I plan on doing that a lot this summer. Today was actually such a good day I finally got to work on my homework, I need to finish these classes but it's so hard with crying hungry baby and no sleep for mommy. Check out the pictures, you'll see one of Drew and me on the laptop together. Actually right now Drew is in my arms too and I'm typing with just my left hand, very difficult. Saturday night was better except I still sat up and held Drew all night again, I just want sleep! Gary is awesome, he takes Drew and sends me to bed for a nap every now and then, God I love him!!!
Sunday: Day 5 - Happy Mother's Day!!! Today made me cry a little. l am a mom and I couldn't be happier. Gary bought me a nice sappy mother's day card from him and one from Drew too. This morning was a little rough, piggy piggy would not stop eating and we had reservations for a mother's day brunch. Finally he finished and away we went, 30 minutes late. Drew had his first car trip since coming home and he did great, he even rode on a school bus today. The parking lot at the Morton Arboretum was full so we had to take the shuttle. The brunch was amazing and Drew slept the whole time. The rest of the day was good and I thought maybe I can do this, maybe I can be a good mommy. Then nightfall came. What happens to babies when the sun goes down? Are they related to vampires? My cute sweet baby turns into screaming babyzilla at night. I just want to sleep, just 4 hours is all I'm asking for, not even a whole night. Thank god there's grandma, what am I going to do without her?
Monday: Day 6 - Oh my god, Drew slept 5 hours tonight...no screaming!!! The only downfall is he slept in my arms all night, so while he slept, I didn't. I'm not sure what to do about the sleeping thing, I don't want to hear him cry but I seriously can't hold him 24/7. Even during the day he only sleeps if he's being held. I guess it can only get better. Today we went to the Pediatrician's office. It wasn't a bad experience at all. Dr. Para is a great doctor and I'm so glad that my friends recommended him to me. He said that Drew is healthy! Yeah! He might have a clogged tear duct but it should clear up in a few weeks to a few months. After the Dr's office we went to Red Robin. Exactly a week before I was here with Drew too, but he was still warm inside me. At this point Drew was getting hungry himself but I stupidly forgot my breast shield. He just won't latch on without it, my nipples are too short :( The Dr. said they will change over the next 2 weeks and he might be able to latch on better. We stopped at Wal*Mart to see if they sold shields but they didn't so poor Drew just had to yell, I offered him mommy diner but he wouldn't take it. After we went by Drauden to visit honorary Aunt Nicki. Drew was a little grumpy because he was hungry but at least he got to meet her. She's going through a stressful time right now becuase her newborn little nephew is very sick. Drew and I are keeping him in our thoughts and hoping that things will work out. Knowing what's going on with her nephew makes me so thankful that Drew is healthy. I've wanted a baby for so long and I'm so happy that he's okay. Having babies is so scary.
Tuesday: Day 7 - AHHHHH! We made it through the first week but I don't know if we'll make it much further. Today was pretty rotten. Drew wanted to feed every 1 1/2 to 2 hours, total nursing time today was over 4 hours!!!! Gary actually fed me lunch and dinner because I couldn't even get a bite to eat. I'm so glad I have Gary, I don't know what I would do without him. He really has stepped right into the role of super dad in no time at all.

Drew's Birth Story 5/5/09

2012-02-20T16:33:00.002-06:00

I didn't have a blog when I posted all of Drew's stories and my time is running out on my old website. I don't want to lose these stories so I'm going to copy them all over here. Bare with me as I copy and paste Drew's 1st year posts. I will still keep up with regular posts too.

The Birth Story

Andrew had a due date of May 1st. When May 1st came and went the Dr. set me up with an induction date of May 5th. The plan was to check into the hospital at 8pm on Monday night (the 4th), get started on some gel to soften up my cervix and then at 8am Tuesday morning (the 5th) my doctor would break my water and things would get going...well things don't always go as planned.
I went out to Red Robin for my last dinner without a baby then checked into the hospital at 8pm on Monday night. They hooked me up to a monitor to see what the baby was doing and come to find out I was having contractions. They determined that I was in labor. Everyone told me that I would know when I went into labor but I guess they were wrong. Somewhere between 9:30 and 10:00pm they decided that if they broke my water my contractions would get stronger and we could have a baby first thing in the morning. This was the strangest sensation, all this hot gooey water leaking out of me. Gary said it was kind of cool. He was right by side the whole time with ice chips in hand ready to make me feel better. They broke my water and very soon after Andrews heart rate dropped drastically. They put me on my left side, they put me on my right side but they couldn't get him to come back up. They got out the oxygen for me and brought in a handful of doctors and nurses to watch his heart rate. Again Gary was right there telling me everything was okay. It is nerve wracking to have people shove oxygen masks on your face and telling you to lay on your left side. I'm sure Gary was nervous too seeing his wife and son in this position but he never let me see it in his face, he stayed very calm and just kept offering those ice chips. His heart rate finally came up a little bit so they left me alone. About 2am Tuesday morning my contractions were getting really painful. Again, Gary was there. He let me squeeze his hand and never missed a beat when I needed my ice chips or sips of water. He was even great at sneaking me cranberry juice sips. Too much water can make your tummy feel a little yucky. At 2:30 I asked about my epidural. I originally thought maybe I wouldn't get one but I was already hooked up to 2 internal monitors for Andrew and 2 external monitors for me so I couldn't move around to try to get comfortable, I might as well get the epidural. Just around 3am the anesthesiologist came in to make me feel good. He did a great job and so did Gary, he held me nice and tight so I didn't move when it was happening. The problem was that mommy and baby didn't react so well. My blood pressure kept dropping, it got down to 77/34 so they gave me ephedrine to get my blood pressure up, it worked but it also made my heart rate spike. Gary was given the job to turn off the alarm when it sounded about my heart rate because they knew it was high but there was nothing they could do about it. Now on top of ice chipping me he had to assess my monitor and silence it when need be. The nurse asked for my doctor but she had already gone home. I think if she had still been there they would have given me a c-section right then, but they stabilized me and thought if they could get things going quicker than everything would be over soon. They started me on pitocin and this is when Andrew's heart rate dropped yet again. No matter what they did they couldn't get it up. After a few minutes they had to stop my pitocin. Andrew stabilized and they told me to get some rest. I dozed on and off but couldn't really sleep and I know Gary didn't sleep at all, he was diligently updating facebook so the world would know what was happening. He also had to ignore all the alarms that kept going off because of my low blood pressure, my heart rate, and Andrew's heart rate. Every time the went off he would run over to the monitor and tell me what was happening. It was comforting to know what was going on. The alarm sounded when my blood pressure dropped below 90, but I wasn't scared when Gary would tell me that it was 87 over something. At 7am my doctor came on shift and checked on me. I was 5cm and she was thinking a morning baby for me. Since Andrew and I had good heart rates and blood pressures for a few hours they decided to start my pitocin again. At 9am they checked me again and I was up to 9cm, I was getting excited, I knew I was going to have a baby soon. At 11 am they told me to try pushing, he was still high up but push just to see what would happen. With each contraction I was supposed to push three times, 10 counts each. I tried pushing for 3 contractions and they said that he was too far to one side, so they had me lie on my side for a while to get him to fall. At 12 noon I tried 3 more sets of pushes but still nothing, so they upped my pitocin. At 1pm I tried pushing for about 30 minutes but he wasn't ready to budge, so we waited 30 more minutes. At 2pm they consulted with the doctor and she told me to push hard for one hour straight and that should be good. This is when Gary got yet another job. He had to hold my left leg while I had to hold my right leg during pushes. I pushed and pushed and pushed, 3pm came and went and I kept pushing and pushing and pushing. We reached 3:50 and still nothing. Gary was down right exhausted from ice chipping me, holding my puke bucket (too many ice chips and smuggled cranberry juice,at least that Red Robin was already digested), holding my leg every 30 seconds for contractions and telling me I'm awesome. After some time the nurse and doctor agreed that this baby could not come out. The nurse told me to stop pushing and wait for the doctor to get to my room, it would just take about 5 minutes. This time was pure hell. I was in so much pain and Gary was right there telling me it would be over soon, the Dr. was on her way. I was doing great and he let me squeeze his hand when I needed to and gave me one ice chip at a time to keep my mouth wet. He also kept my washcloth nice and cool since I had a fever for a while now. 20 minutes later, that's 20 minutes of back to back contractions that I was not allowed to push though, my doctor came in. She checked me and said I had 2 options, I could have a c-section and just be done with everything or she could try the vacuum extractor, except you only can try that for one contraction and if it doesn't work I would have to be rushed for a super quick c-section anyway. So I signed my consent forms even though I could barely hold the pen and they prepped the OR for me. A whole team of specialist came rushing into my room and when the contraction started the doctor shoved the vacuum on his head and told me to push as hard as I could. I pushed so hard and the vacuum popped off his head. We had one last shot. I took a deep breath and pushed again while the doctor got that vacuum on his head again and all of a sudden I felt a pop, the head was out. I swear it really did make that pop noise too. I don't remember what happened after that, if I pushed or they pulled but that baby was out and I briefly saw Gary cut the umbilical cord then baby Drew was whisked away to the neonatologist to be checked out. I had spiked a temp, they thought I had an infection and they were worried he might have one too since it had been over 18 hours since my water broke. As the baby was getting cleaned and check the stitching began for me. They said I had lacerations on my labia and a 2nd degree tear but that was to be expected with a first baby with a huge head like my guy and the vacuum caused a faster exit and more trauma to me and baby as well. It took about 30 minutes to get baby stable and mommy sewed up and then I got to hold him. I could believe it, I pushed that little stinker out. It was very hard work. Andrew Ross Plano was born at 4:27pm, 8lbs. 3oz. and 21 inches long. He has a little cephala hemotoma (sp?) from the long pushing phase and they said he has a bad head ache from the vacuum suction.
Andrew and Mommy are very healthy although we are both very sore.

President's Day Activities

2012-02-20T13:40:00.000-06:00

While Drew isn't really old enough to teach a lot about the presidents I did do a couple activities with him and I told him that Washington was our 1st President (number 1) and Lincoln was number 16. Here's what we did...

Made Lincoln hats out of an empty raisin canister and a paper plate.
First we tried painting the canister but our black paint didn't provide good coverage, so we 'decoupaged' it with black construction paper and the black paint with a little Elmer's glue mixed in.

Made Washington hats...I admit, I have no idea what shape the washington hat is but we did our best then we wrote a W on the front. Drew did that W all by himself!

Dotted W and L sheets. This was the first time I have used these dotters, he did better than I thought

I let Kara try these too. She made a few marks before she tried to eat them

Lined up pennies on the L

And I read the only Presidential book I have...

I was going to make a lincoln log cabin for lunch by slicing a hot dog into little strips and arranging them like a cabin. Using peas for grass under the cabin and cheese triangles for the roof. But Drew said he didn't want a hotdog and cheese, he wanted ham and kiwis (same lunch as yesterday). I wasn't sure how to make a cabin out of ham and kiwis so I just made a palm tree that I saw on pintrest. Oh well, I 'm sure George and Abe would have liked it anyway.

And to be fair I made Kara a palm tree too out of kiwis, yogurt, and shredded cheese. She loves to try to feed herself now! And it keeps her occupied in between bites of food that I give her so I could eat my ham sandwich and kiwi slices too :)

I'm linking this to tot school since it's the best lesson planning I had all week. The rest was random learning scattered here and there. Good learning, but not much to write about or look at.

Another appointment

2012-02-19T21:58:00.000-06:00

I posted a little bit ago about going to the doctor to figure out what's going on with me, I wasn't going to post again until I had an answer but who knows when that will be. My Dr. said my blood work appears normal so she thinks my ailments are caused from lack of sleep and low estrogen, since I'm nursing. Doesn't that just sound like a standard answer to any woman, it's hormonal, get over it.
Well I'm not going to get over it. There is something not right and I want an answer. In waiting to get an appointment with another doctor I did what I said I wasn't going to do...I went on WebMD. I like WebMD, but you have to know when to stop reading and I didn't stop. So pretty much it came down to I was convinced that I have lymphoma. The next day the rational side of me kicked in and I figured I most likely do not have lymphoma. I have a swollen lymph node yes, but I do not have a fever, the lump I have hurts, I do not have weight loss, I do not have night sweats, I do not have family history of it (but there are autoimmune diseases in my family), I do not have body itching - however my mind can convince myself that I do.
I went back online to try to find out why a lymph node would be swollen and hurt. I was having an extremely hard time finding the lymph node I was referring to in the pictures listed. I am having pain behind my ear, not in my neck. I went on assuming I must have an infection that has been missed, since that's why your lymph nodes would be swollen, but if I had an infection wouldn't that show up in my blood work?
One of my mom friends used to be an oncology nurse. I couldn't help but mention to her about my pain while our kids played and she said it sounds like my occipital lymph node is swollen, and as far as she knows it's extremely rare for these particular lymph nodes to swell due to cancer. Ahhh sigh of relief. I know she can't know everything but she knows more than me, I didn't even know the name of the thing! She then went on to ask if my scalp hurt. I was really surprised, because it does. It's tight and itchy but I just assumed it was from the weather. She said when I see the Dr. to tell him this, she is betting I have a scalp infection. We talked more and laughed about it and I left feeling an amazing sense of relief. I know she didn't diagnose me or anything but just to hear someone say she is aware of a skin infection causing swollen lymph nodes made me feel so much better.
When I got home I got back on the internet and wouldn't you know I found exactly what she was talking about. The website said the swelling can be caused from a scalp fungus. That sounds gross to me and who wants to think of fungus growing on them but then I read you can get it from a cat scratch. Diego (my cat) attacks my hair when it's wet. He has scratched my scalp a couple times when he jumps up and grabs at my hair. It makes sense, more sense then I'm dying of lymphoma.
So I'm going to the Dr tomorrow and hopefully get this painful lump taken care of!
Wish me luck!

Left Overs

2012-02-19T21:21:00.001-06:00

We don't eat left overs in this house. We have good intentions but once the food goes in that little plastic container it doesn't come out until it's fuzzy. Tonight I was proud of myself. I made a meal out of leftovers and it was good! Last week I made breaded baked chicken and had some left over. Tonight I pulled the chicken out of the fridge and looked at it. It looked sad and shriveled and the crispy breading was soggy and gross. So I rinsed the coating off, chopped the chicken up in little bits, set aside a handful for the kids and then put the chopped chicken in a pan with some water and taco seasoning. The water made the chicken not so dried out and shriveled and also helped the chicken soak up the new taco flavor. For Drew's chicken I just warmed it and put some cheese on it and Kara's chicken I tossed in the baby blender with left over butternut squash and a spoonfull of corn. The rest of the corn was mixed in with out taco chicken. I also heated up some instant rice and used up the last of our taco shells that were sitting in the back of the cupboard. I was surprised when Drew ate all his chicken and corn, hubby and I liked our quick chicken tacos and Kara loved her squash, corn, and chicken smush.
I felt very accomplished. Not only because I used up food instead of wasting it but I was able to quickly make a dinner for 4 people with the same ingredients, like 10 minutes and dinner was done since the chicken was already cooked. Yes, the kids dinners were a variation of ours but at least I wasn't a short order cook, everyone had chicken and corn and everyone was happy. It was a good end to the week!

R.E. not E.R.

2012-02-18T14:01:00.001-06:00

Today was mommy son date day! It's the first time I've been alone with Drew since Kara was born. I was so excited to hang out with just my little guy. We ate breakfast at home then got dressed in nice sweaters and pants. He knew today was something special since I made him put on pants :)

We got in the car and headed to Kid Jazz, a jazz concert geared toward kids. He kept saying in the car, "this is going to be so exciting." About half way there he looked over and saw the empty spot where Kara sits and yelled "mommy, where is Kara, she's missing." I said she's not missing she's staying home with daddy today, she's too little to go to the concert with us. Without missing a beat he replied, "Ohhh, she would eat all the instruments." He was right, she probably would. She is teething big time now! I mean like 4 coming in at once, poor baby.
When we got to The Mac we went to box office and picked up our tickets. Drew was so excited. Then we got up to the doors and he chickened out. There was no way he was going through the double doors. He was scared, it was dark, and there was a strange man standing by the door. I took him aside and explained that the man was called an usher and he would help us find our seats, I explained why it was dark inside. Then I said it's a theatre, like when we went to the movie theater. He quickly smiled and asked, "can we get some popcorn." what a cutie pie. I told him we were at a theatre, RE, not a theater, ER. Live shows don't have popcorn. He didn't look too happy but I got him into the theatre.

(I told him to look 'jazzy' and this is what he came up with)

He asked a million questions and I was happy to answer. I love the theatre, I love music, I was right at home. Drew asked about the lights, the catwalk, the stage, the curtain, the seats that fold up. I loved being able to give him 100% of my attention and share with him something I love. After the concert we got to look at some instruments up close. I asked him which one was his favorite, he said the big one (the Bass). I smiled and pictured me helping my little 4th grader carrying around a bass. I was in 4th grade when I started playing French Horn, it's a good sized instrument anyway but to a 4th grader it's huge. I hope he really does play an instrument.

During the concert I explained why we clap for performers. I said we clap to let them know they did a good job and say thank you for playing. From then on he clapped and yelled out Good Job at the end of each song. After one exciting trumpet solo Drew exclaimed, HE DID IT! On the last song they gave us all kazoos to play along with. Drew didn't play his kazoo, he swung it around. When I said play your instrument buddy he said, "no, I'm making everyone play." So cute, he was the conductor. I think he had a great time at his very first theatre experience. I can't wait to take him back. In fact I bought us tickets to see an Eric Carle musical puppet show next month at the same place.

Dramatic Play Ideas

2012-02-16T11:49:00.001-06:00

I used to work with 4 and 5 year olds. I LOVED this age. I've been waiting for Drew to get closer to this age since he was born. Don't get me wrong I've loved Drew growing up but you have to admit 4 and 5 year olds really know how to play!
Drew is not quite 3 but I am seeing that he is ready for the activities that I love...dramatic play!

So this week we've been reading books, watching key cartoons, going to stores, restaurants, and offices and basically taking notes on what is happening around us. I've also started creating a list of we can play at home. With my 4 year olds I had theme boxes, they were hat boxes filled with stuff to enhance that theme and on the underside of the lid I put a list of the items in the box, so clean up was easy and we would have the items to play with again and again. It also made it easy if I wanted to take and item out I could look under the lid to see if it was in that box. For example we had a camping box with a fake fire made out of toilet paper rolls and tissue paper, sticks, flashlights, and other little things you might see or use when camping. I think I want to do something like this for Drew. It's easier for me, as an adult, to get into imaginative play when I have a few things to get me going and I think it's easier for little ones too that are just learning how to imagine and pretend. When I get some boxes assembled I'll take pictures but here are a couple ideas that I think Drew might like and we can see where it goes.
What dramatic play is your kids favorite?

1. Camping:
fire, flashlights, glow in the dark stars, compass, plastic bugs, sticks, flashlights
2. Dr's Office/Dentist Office:
white button up shirt for lab coat, mask, rubber gloves, plastic Dr. items tools, toothbrushes, bandaids (white label stickers...bandaids are too expensive), ace bandage, baby doll
3. Birthday Party:
Hat, pretend cake, streamers, presents, candles, greeting cards
4. Post Office:
envelopes, "stamps" paper, pens, bag, hat, mailboxes
5. Restaurant:
waitress pad, fake food and kitchen items, apron, money
6. Grocery Store:
cart, bag, money, empty food boxes, cash register
7. Shoe Store:
shoes, socks, boxes, shoe horn, foot measuring board
8. Animal Shop:
dishes, crate, toys, stuffed animals, fake food and water
9. Pirate Ship:
treasure box, coins, parrot, eye patch, compass, map, telescope
10. Barber shop:
fake scissors, brush, comb, mirror, shaving cream, "razor" (wooden tongue depressor)

Happy Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T17:37:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day isn't big around here (it's my birthday)
But I'm a sucker for celebrating 'holidays' with my kids. And I use the term holiday loosely, I celebrate groundhog day with them :)
Here's some pictures of us today.

Game Week

2012-02-13T17:52:00.000-06:00

Drew is 2 years 9 months old

Tot school was a little different this week. I had a few appointments and meetings and Drew had a couple play dates and parties to go to this week so our schedule was mixed up. And I have 2 kids with fevers so I'll quickly upload what we did but someone is already crying for momma. I took pictures with my iPhone but now it's giving me trouble transferring pictures to the laptop. So no pictures right now...I'll just put up a couple from instagram since it's only transferring those.
I decided to focus on listening and focusing since focusing on one thing for more than 3 minutes is extremely hard for Drew, maybe that's normal. I figured games were a great way to follow directions, listen, and focus on the task at hand.

We played:
Cootie
Memory
Candy Land
Ants in my Pants
Winnie the Pooh matching
Chutes and Ladders
I Spy picture dominoes
Elefun
Nickelodeon Dance for the X-Box - Drew LOVES to dance!

Most of these games I modified the rules so it wasn't so frustrating for him. He did okay. He loved the matching games, elefun, and ants in my pants. The others he struggled with and we ended up just making up our own rules to keep him from melting down. But this week was awesome. He really was listening better and following directions. Several times I asked him to put stuff back, like when he went and got all the steak knives out of the drawer in the kitchen and the screwdrivers out of daddy's tool box and he listened the first time with no arguing or talking back. We also had fewer struggles with transitioning from one thing to another and getting dressed in the morning. I am truly impressed with how grown up Drew's becoming.

Other things we did were make heart shaped crayons for our valentines party

We tried our first real puzzle, not a cut out shape one. He wasn't good...at all. But he had fun and wanted me to do it with him over and over again.

Played with water beads. These things are wonderful!!! I found these in the flower department at Walmart for $1.50. I can not say enough good things about them. Drew played with them for 30 minutes at a time and they were very calming for him. I will be incorporating these into our lessons again.

To help get Drew to wait at the table either before dinner is served or to wait until we are all done I bought flashcards. I'm not a big flashcard person but he plays with them at the table and says his letters and words. He amazes me with his vocabulary and what he knows. Now he flips through the cards and says R is for Rainbow and he's not even looking at the picture side. I know he's memorized them but isn't reading part memorization.

Kara is 8 months old

Kara played games too :)
We played where's the chicken. I put a little stuffed chicken on different parts of her body and would say where's the chicken. Here it is on Kara's head, on Kara's belly, on Kara's knees. She giggled and laughed the whole time and even started reaching for her head when I would say where's Kara's head.

We sang a lot of interactive songs this week:
itsy bitsy spider
I'm a little tea pot
Grand old Duke of York
I'm a piece of popcorn
Walter Walter Wag Tail
Gray squirrel

And I introduced her to large wooden puzzles

Hopefully next week is back to a more 'normal' Meaning kids sleep and night and don't cry all day!

See what wonderful things other people are doing over here!

Where to start

2012-02-10T20:36:00.000-06:00

I have no trouble finding places to volunteer. My problem is I don't have enough time to give to volunteer at all the places that need people. I guess I was surprised at how many people read that I volunteer and said to me they would like to but didn't know how. So here's how I got started, I'll warn you though, volunteering is addicting!! Once you start you'll want to do more and more :)

1. Find a place you would love to be and ask if they take volunteers. When we moved to IL I found a little zoo and thought it would be fun to work in a zoo but I had a good full time job with benefits and I do not have a degree in zoology so I did the next best thing. I went into the desk and asked if they take volunteers. They did and I filled out the form and within weeks I got trained to work the reptile house. After a few months I told them I didn't really care for reptiles and they were happy to train me as an educational ambassador. So I got to sit at cart and educate people about stuff. I loved it, it was perfect!

2. Check out volunteermatch.org You just type in your zip code and see what's out there, or search by key word if you're looking for something specific. Even if you don't find exactly what you're looking for you can see what agencies need volunteers.

3. Just Ask! Go to places like Salvation Army, Battered women's shelters, churches, YWCA, Muscular Dystrophy offices, United Way centers, Foster Parent offices, Animal shelters, Red Cross, Any half-way house or homeless shelter, Hospice, nursing homes, tutoring centers, parks districts, libraries, forest preserves, WIC centers...Pretty much anything funded by donations and taxes needs help.

4. Still at a loss, ask me. I seem to have a knack for finding places that need help. Maybe I know someone who knows someone. I have connections in many states :)

I know there are a lot of reasons people can't volunteer but maybe they aren't aware of what's out there, maybe they don't realize that it is still possible to find opportunities even with what you already have going on in your life:

I work full time: Maybe you can't give a lot of time to a place but you are a professional. There are places that need working professionals to mentor high school seniors and college kids, especially in math and science fields so kids know what is out there and why they should major in these things.

My schedule is varied: Can you knit, quilt, or crochet? Hospices, nursing homes, and VA hospitals love lap blankets and slippers. You can knit whenever you like and when you get a few items made just drop them off.

I have little kids: Many places let you take your kids with you, like big brother programs. They will help find a kid around the same age as yours. Nursing homes also love kids so if your kids or parents group can put on a play or sing some songs or practice reading with the residents it would make their day.

I don't like sick or old people: Don't laugh, I've heard this since there are so many volunteering opportunities with these communities. Even the organizations that deal with sick and old people need people to do office work or website work so you would never have to see people. But there are other organizations, tons, out there. There are organizations where you pick refugees up from the airport and take them to their apartment and make sure they have what they need when they arrive in America. There are volunteers on stand by in case of emergencies in towns. The local health departments use many many volunteers for safety checks. There are people who volunteer to run vaccination booths for dogs and cats (not give the shots, just get the people in). Volunteers shelve books at libraries. There are places that specifically want volunteers over 60 years old to share life wisdom with others. Many sports and musical groups need adults to volunteer to be coaches and conductors. There are a lot of volunteers that work with single or young moms or women who have fled bad relationships to make sure they are getting the help they need and that they are providing for their children. Volunteers run voting booths.

The world would fall apart without volunteers, I can't even fathom how many hours are worked each year without getting paid by all the volunteers around.

Something to remember:

Don't get discouraged if it isn't a good match. Volunteering is like dating, or like finding a best friend; you aren't going to connect with every job and that's okay. Even if you put in only a few hours and decide you don't like it you did something good for that company, you provided a few hours of help for them that they didn't have. Don't beat yourself up about it just put in your time and thank the place and move on.

I really believe there is something out there for everyone who wants to volunteer. I hope this helps point someone in the right direction. You don't have to be rich or have a lot of free time to make a difference in a person's life.

My Friday Five!

2012-02-10T18:03:00.004-06:00

It's Friday! I love looking at people's pictures not only to see what they want me to see but to peek into the background and see what dishes they use, soda they drink, toys their kids have. I guess I'm just nosey. I am always in search of good products and I think if someone has it maybe I would like it to so here are 5 items that I used this week that I really like.

1. The I'm not scared book. I have a couple books by Todd Parr. He writes just like a little kid would and illustrates like them too. I've never read one of these books to Drew without him asking for it again (and again and again). This one is great because Drew is getting scared of things, the exact things in this book. Wonderful timing on finding this! I recommend any of Todd Parr's books :)

2. Dinosaur egg oatmeal. This was an impulse buy but it's great. Drew won't eat oatmeal but I get tired of making eggs, waffles, and cold cereal in the morning. Sometimes oatmeal would be so easy and a little more filling than frozen waffles. I saw this and thought let's try it. Drew got a kick out of it. When you pour hot water in it the eggs "hatch" into tiny candy dinosaurs. The best thing for me is there's quite a few eggs so by the time he ate one spoon full of oatmeal for every dinosaur he had eaten half the bowl! Success!

3. Ikea hanging storage bins. I liked these in the store but wasn't sure how functional they would be at home. I really like them. I was going to put art supplies in the bins (crayons, paint brushes, chalk, stickers) but then I thought about Drew having access to that stuff all the time all night when I can't supervise and I decided neither one of us was ready for that. So I just put little plastic animals and people in them. It works great and I can just dump one cup out to play with and clean up is fast and easy too. Now I wish I had bought the bigger rack with more cups.

4. V-Tech farm/home toy. My mom bought this for Drew for his first Christmas, he was 7 months old. This was his favorite toy. Drew will be 3 in May and he still plays with this a lot and bonus now it's one of Kara's top 3 toys. I am surprised that both kids love this since they are so different and like different toys. It's a really great toy that keeps my kids happy for a long time. Well worth the money.

5. YoPlait yogurt parfaits. I like yogurt but I have a hard time finding a yogurt that isn't made with artificial sweeteners (you're not supposed to eat them when nursing) and I have a hard time finding one that I don't get bored of. These are yummy. I love the fresh fruit in the bottom and the granola keeps the texture from getting to blah for me.

So what are some products you used and loved? Link up! :)

The unspoken teachings

2012-02-09T22:02:00.001-06:00

I teach my kids a lot. I am constantly telling Drew things and explaining stuff to him. Just the other day when I was at Burger King we were discussing what caulk was and why it was used. Very odd, I know, but I don't miss an opportunity to talk and explain the world to my kids. While this is important I hope my kids pick up on something else too, the things I don't tell them but just do.

I have a picture hanging on my wall that was a gift to me from a place where I volunteered. It has a small gold plaque on the bottom with my name and years that I volunteered there. I have an award sitting on my dresser from the Mayor of Aurora thanking me for volunteering in his town. I volunteer my time and money to write letters and send packages to soldiers overseas, I've done this every month for 3 years now. I donate Christmas presents to the Salvation Army. I helped raise money for the Ronald McDonald House 3 years ago after a friend's family stayed there for the entire month that their son was living. I am helping raise money for the American Heart Association with the Heart Project. I volunteer my time as a big sister in the big brothers/big sisters of America program, I starting doing this way back in college. I buy slippers and slipper socks on clearance and give them to the local nursing home for residents that don't have family to buy them Christmas/Birthday presents.

For the most part I keep my mouth shut about what I do because I do it for me. I do it because I like to make people feel special and volunteering makes them feel special. I want people to know someone cares about them, even if they never meet me or know me. Every once in a while I post about fundraising or a good dead I've done to perhaps encourage others to reach out and help but I don't cram what I do down people's throats. When I was talking to my mom tonight she wasn't even aware that I had won a volunteering award and met the Mayor. I was actually invited to a special brunch where it was given to me, I guess it was a big deal.

I feel like some people criticize what I do because they don't like where I volunteer or they don't like who I am raising money for and that really hurts. I don't share what I do that often and I try to keep my mouth shut and just keep on doing what I've been doing but I am tired of holding stuff in and wanted to put it out there that I do a lot more than people know.

I hope my kids see that I give my time and energy to many organizations and I don't ask for anything in return. I don't even point this out to my kids, I just tote them along. I'm sure they think that this is life, this is just what people do. I hope they grow up and give back to their community in some way. I think people that volunteer their time are wonderful and must have had wonderful upbringings. Someday I would like for my kids to be volunteering someplace and have something think, wow they must have had great parents!

Heart Project Update!

2012-02-08T19:19:00.000-06:00

Thank you!

I am so proud of my fellow bloggers and readers. In just 8 days almost $1,500 has been raised for the American Heart Association through the Heart Project.

So far 197 e-books have been giving away with donations and 40 paperback books have been bought, there has also been a handful of other donations.

For those of you that haven't donated $5 and received your free copy of the Heart Project book with over 100 heart crafts to do with children just click here!

To purchase a paperback copy of this wonderful book for just $20 click below. $5 will still go to the AHA.

US $20.00

Order the Printed Version

Remember this amazing book is only available for the month of February. Don't miss out on this great opportunity to make a difference and get rewarded yourself!

I've met so many wonderful women while working on this project, it really has changed my life. Thank you Jamie at Hands on as we Grow for all your hard work!!

When Mama's Sick

2012-02-07T21:21:00.003-06:00

I've been extremely lucky in that my kids and I don't get sick too often. I think it's because I am home with them so we don't have school/work/daycare germs floating around the house.
A few months ago though I started to feel a little bad. I was getting migraine type headaches. I never ever get headaches. But I figured it's from being a tired mom who probably isn't getting enough fluids or sleep or a well balanced meal. Time ticked on and I keep fighting like I'm coming down with the flu but I'm not getting sick. I feel tired, so tired, all the time. Every fiber in my body is exhausted. I ache I am so tired but no amount of sleep seems to help. It doesn't help that I haven't had a single full nights sleep in almost 3 years. Kara still wakes up a lot and while she's adorable at 2am I would rather be looking at the insides of my eyelids than her smiling face. Recently I've also started to feel so angry. I am not an angry person but I am so short with my kids and get so mad over the stupidest things. I think it's because I just don't feel right. When you're tired and achey you are snappy.
In the past month my headaches are starting to cause dizziness and making it hard to keep my eyes open and see. I don't think they are affecting my vision it's just my eyes hurt to concentrate on seeing. There have been times when I'm in the middle of a book with Drew and I have to stop reading because I'm feeling so dizzy and nauseous. But every day ticks on and I keep thinking I'll shake this thing. I'm just tired. Then on Sunday my head started hurting behind my ear, not like a headache, like I hit it, like there was a bruise or bump. Then I felt behind my ear and there's a lump. It's hurts really bad to touch but it also hurts all day long all the time every day.
I finally told my husband and he said he bets it's an ear infection that has gone untreated and that's why I'm having vertigo.
So the other night I ran over to CVS and they said my ears are perfect, one of them has a little fluid and that might be causing the vertigo by putting pressure on the ear drum but I do not have an infection at all. They also said the lump behind my ear feels like swollen glands. But they don't know why my glands are swollen if I don't have an infection.
I guess if this was just one little thing or had been going on for a week I would let it go but I've let it go and it's getting worse. I also can't remember anything, though it could be the extreme tiredness. Seriously I was going to run to the grocery store for like 5 items but I had to deposit a check so I went to Walmart (that's where my bank it), not only did I forget to deposit the check I forgot 3 of the 5 items. The sad thing is I don't even realize I'm forgetting them until hubby asks me about them.
I'm starting to get worried. I've heard so many stories about women having headaches and they end up having some type of brain tumor or just drop dead from some untreated thing. I know that's probably crazy to think like that, but I'm just scared. I'm never sick! In the last 5 years I lost a friend, a mother of 6 kids, to 'headaches'. She kept going to the hospital and they kept sending her home. Then one day she died in her sleep. Also another friend of mine has had to undergo surgeries for some type of benign tumors that keep growing. So I'm not just making stuff up. I try to act like I'm not worried but I am, you never know and it's impossible to get someone to listen to you. Look, if I am bothered enough to rearrange my schedule and disrupt naps and bring 2 kids into a drs office with me then there's something wrong. Don't tell me to take an advil!
I have an appointment on Monday to get blood work done and then we will see what is out of whack.

I figured I would share this here since some of the people that read my blog have become good friends of mine and I want my friends to know what's going on with me. This is also the reason my posts on my blog are hit an miss. By the time the kids go to sleep I just can't look at the computer screen.

When Drew Sleeps - Pictures

2012-02-05T16:04:00.005-06:00

The other day Drew napped (shocking!) while Kara stayed awake. I took this time to play with my little cream puff just me and her...and a penguin.

mom, just what am I supposed to do with this thing?

Just play with him honey, bop him back and forth

Hey, this is pretty fun

AAHH Take that Mr. Penguin!

WHOA you came back

Count this out for me mom, I got him this time

stay down Penguin, I'm trying to show mom how strong I am

I'm going to bite you penguin

Hey, I'm sorry...I won't bite you anymore.

Mom, my penguin left and won't come back

Here he comes, yeah!

Now stay over here Mr. Penguin. You know I can't move yet.

you know, you and I could be good friends. We're about the same size.

We both topple over pretty easy

Mom, I made a friend!

Nothing could be better than this penguin.

Mmmm a crakcer

I think I like this

it's a little tricky getting in my mouth

This is now my favorite thing

wait come back, I like this cracker but I still like you too. Do you want one of my crackers?

It's pretty crunchy

I only have two teeth. Not sure I can do this

I think I got it

Yep. I like crackers :)