During this Mother’s Day week, I have been thinking about my relationship with my own mother, who passed away only seven years ago. In my book, Sidonia’s Thread, I claim that when I was a child “my resentment of her progressed into a hatred that tortured and haunted me. It permeated every bit of my body, gnawing at me, yet I could not shed it.” But was it really “hatred?”

As the much older Hanna, I would identify the emotion as more disappointment and anger at my inability to understand her and communicate with her than it was hatred. Her secrets “created a barrier between us that I could never cross.” It was not until I discovered the reasons for her mysteriousness through my own research that I finally could come to terms with my mixed emotions and love her with all my heart. Despite maintaining the highly confidential aspects of her life to herself until her death, I learned to love her in the same spiritual and unconditional way she had always loved me. But it would have been much easier if we could have communicated with one another about the innermost secrets that we had always kept inside.

As you ponder your maternal relationships this week, I hope you will view your mother with kindness and compassion and relate to her as another human being who has the same challenges and vulnerabilities as all of us on earth. And in that spirit, begin to have a dialogue about the differences and misunderstandings that may exist between you. Treat her and yourself gently.

It wasn’t until I left Springfield at the age of seventeen to attend the University of Massachusetts at Amherst that I realized that there was a lot more to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts than I ever dreamed and that, in fact, most of the population lived on the eastern end of the state where Boston and Cape Cod are located, and not in my more sparsely populated western side. As a college student, I took occasional trips to Boston and immediately fell in love with its vibrancy and the hard-nosed, strong character of its residents. The rush of traffic, both on the road and on sidewalks, the aroma of its restaurants, the range of academic environments, shopping districts, and daily demonstrations about world policy issues opened my eyes to what the rest of America might be like.

As I contemplate the despicable acts that took place last week in Boston, I realize that we live in a much more complex world than the one I grew up in on the streets of Springfield, yet I am confident in the people of Boston to show their resilience and toughness to the rest of our country and the world. I have never been prouder to say that I am from Massachusetts, and I stand with Boston.

If you would like to reach me by email, send me a message at info@hannamarcus.com and I will be sure to reply.

My cousin sent me a photograph a few years ago that I had never seen before. Eight people are gathered together in their finest garments to pose for a family photograph. None of them are smiling yet they all look content and proud.

The three men in the photo are dressed in what must have surely been their best clothes, dark suits and ties, all with tidy mustaches. The two younger men are standing on the dirt floor of the photographer’s studio, but an older man is sitting down in front of them, a fedora hat atop his head, his left hand draped over what must be his wife’s shoulder. His wife wears a long black coat covering her entire body with a dark kerchief hiding her hair. A younger woman sits next to them facing the camera with a smug grin, probably pleased with the fox fur status symbol she wears around her neck. A young girl, perhaps three years old, with a bow in her hair stands in front of the mother.

I only met one person who posed for this photograph taken in the 1920’s, a tall slender woman wearing a light-colored dress who stands among the two younger men and another young woman. It was many years later, soon after arriving in America, when my mother and I went to visit my distant cousin Eleanor in the Bronx, New York. She had left that small city in Hungary just a few years after the photograph was taken to join another sister who had made the trip earlier. What happened to the other seven who posed that day for the family photo, the proud mother and father and their children? All lost in the Shoah.

Why do I care about this photograph so much? Even though it is a picture of my great, great uncle and his family, it’s the only one I have of my ancestors in Hungary. It’s the closest I will ever come to knowing what my mother’s family must have looked like in the country where they lived for many generations. My mother, Sidonia, is also gone now after living in America for almost sixty years, but I can see her face in the faces of these distant relatives. And what’s more, I can see my own.

Women’s History Month starts today. Let’s take time to remember some of the women who have made such an impact on our lives today…like Sarah and Rebecca, Abigail Adams, Helen Keller, Harriet Tubman, Golda Meir, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Jacqueline Kennedy, Rosa Parks, Gloria Steinem and Hillary Clinton, just to name a few.

But let’s also remember the strong, mostly unsung women in our own lives who have given us their warmth, patience, survival skills, and love…mothers, sisters, grandmothers, teachers and mentors. Without them, we couldn’t have grown to be the smart, strong, determined, sensitive women we turned out to be.

Thank you, Sidonia, whose centennial we commemorate this year, for your head-strong determination to make a difference in the world and to raise a daughter who, hopefully, can do the same.

Join me at the Cragin Memorial Library in Colchester, CT later this month on March 21, 2013 at 6 pm to hear about the indomitable spirit of two women.

Since the publication of Sidonia’s Thread, I have been speaking before many diverse audiences about my story. I am always fascinated by the audience questions after my illustrated talk which often inspire me to improve and expand my presentation for future audiences.

One of the most popular questions is: “How can you be so composed when speaking about what is, undoubtedly, such an emotional topic to you… your life with your Holocaust survivor single parent, Sidonia?” So here are three reasons why I am so composed when speaking:

1. Just as when writing Sidonia’s Thread, sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I often had to stop writing to gather my thoughts and to release my pent up feelings as I recollected my lonely life with my mother growing up in Springfield, Massachusetts. But once the story was finished, my task was to convey the story to the world—through my book and my in-person presentations. When I look out at the faces in my audiences, whether at a library, synagogue, church, community center, or other organization, I gain strength from the men and women who identify with themes of the story and gain inspiration from it—single parents, creative artists, immigrants or descendents of immigrants, Holocaust survivors or other trauma survivors and their families, and many who kept secrets with members of their own family or close friends.
2. I am passionate about telling the story of the strong, resilient, courageous person who was my mother, Sidonia. Passion allows me to keep focused on my messages: Believe in yourself even when you think you are all alone in the world and allow others to enter your heart.
3. My eyes are always on the prize. The prize is not financial gain or fame, but reaching you, to transfer my strength to you, to touch you with a post-Holocaust story that is different from most others you have read and heard about. I want to inspire you to offer whatever talent you have to a world that despite your doubts, will rise up to embrace you.

I have a formidable task before me. I have to keep my composure to accomplish it.

It is hard to believe that 2013 represents the centennial anniversary of Sidonia’s birth. It is equally difficult to comprehend how her name— a relatively obscure one in most countries— would be uttered by so many people around the world. The publication of Sidonia’s Thread, copyrighted just last year, has brought so much awareness about the inestimable power of human resilience and perseverance in the personification of my mother. I didn’t always think that was the case.

The year of my mother’s birth, 1913, was a transition year in the history of many countries, particularly those in Europe. On the eve of World War I, the European powers were mired in complex alliances, traditional monarchies, and in the throes of political and economic upheaval.

The sprawling Austro-Hungarian Empire, in existence for over fifty years, and ruled by the Hapsburg dynasty, consisted of numerous disputing nationalities. But World War 1, waged during 1914-1918, brought an entirely new world order to the European powers, particularly in Sidonia’s homeland of Hungary.

On the losing side of that horrible battle, Hungary was forced to cede two thirds of its former land territory and a sizeable portion of its population to newly formed countries like Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia and portions to Romania, Italy, and Poland. By 1919, it had lost much of its grandeur and pomposity. So it was during this time of great political and nationalistic change that Sidonia grew up in a tiny village on the border of Hungary and the newly formed country of Czechoslovakia. Ardent patriotic Hungarians, Sidonia’s family was proud of their Hungarian roots, and the only male sibling was drafted into the Hungarian army during World War 1 as an infantryman, risking his life for his homeland.

By the beginning of the 1940’s, Hungary had still not given in to the Nazi’s regarding the deportation of its Jewish inhabitants. But in April, 1944, Sidonia and her family were herded into a nearby Jewish ghetto and finally deported to the Auschwitz Concentration Camp in May where everyone in her family, except she and her sister Laura, were likely exterminated soon after arrival. Suffering incredible hardships during her time in three concentrations camps, she was liberated at Bergen Belsen as the only survivor of her family.

Sidonia’s Thread picks up Sidonia’s story just after her stay at the Bergen Belsen Displaced Persons Camp where she resided for four years after the war, living by her wits and her extraordinary talent as a seamstress. Randomly assigned to emigrate from Germany to Springfield, Massachusetts, she brought her sewing machine, a few household items, a two year old daughter and two dollars in her pocket. How did a single mother with no relatives and few acquaintances possessing only a sixth grade education sustain and even thrive to become a patriotic American? Sidonia’s story is a true testament to the power of the human spirit.

As I commemorate the centennial of Sidonia’s birth throughout 2013, I hope to meet you and share my story. I can be contacted at info@hannamarcus.com.

Hanna Perlstein Marcus is proud to announce that her book, Sidonia’s Thread: The Secrets of a Mother and Daughter Sewing a New Life in America, is available on Kindle! Now you can read this powerful and moving story in both traditional paperback and in e-book format.

My memoir about my life with my courageous, talented mother, Sidonia, has resonated with so many readers in the short time since its publication. As I travel to libraries, museums, churches, synagogues, and other organizations, I am so heartened that readers have fallen in love with Sidonia. She would have been so proud and grateful for readers’ strong feelings for her.

Like many other readers, I still have a combination of traditional hardcover and softcover books along with my e-books. I really enjoy the convenience of the e-book reader yet sometimes I long for the touch of a book to hold and savor in my hands and put on my book shelves. Now, Sidonia’s Thread will give you the choice of either version or both!

To buy your copy, click the Amazon button on “The Book” page of this website now!

What an amazing experience last week at Hebrew Union College in New York where about fifty authors (just a portion of the over two hundred authors who attended the Jewish Book Council Network Conference) presented their two minute synopses of their recent publications! It was an eclectic group of authors ranging from novelists, to historians, scientists, memoirists, and healthy recipe mavens. I was truly inspired by many of the stories by these very erudite authors and the passion they infused into their two-minute orations.

Some of the topics discussed? Susan Weissman’s story of the trials and triumphs of a food allergy family, Andrew Tertes’ (formerly of Newington, CT) story of a man named Jacob’s journey to reconcile nature and tradition, Andrea Strongwater’s history of the lost synagogues of Europe, Ari Schonbrun’s memoir of his survival as one of the only employees of Cantor Fitzgerald to survive the World Trade Center attack, Gerald Kolpan’s fictional tale of a Jewish boy who becomes an interpreter for the great Indian Chief Standing Bear, and the courageous Ellen Schecter’s memoir of finding fierce joy despite the loss and pain of an incurable illness.

I hope the audience was enticed by my two minute presentation about my combination of love and distrust for my mother Sidonia, the one person in the world who was my family yet whose deeply held secrets created a divide between us that we could never cross. I am usually not very nervous at my speaking engagements and in discussing Sidonia’s Thread, but I must admit that I had a tinge of nerves on this occasion. Yet despite my nerves, I enjoyed this chance to share my book with representatives of over one hundred Jewish organizations from around North America and to meet other authors from various corners of the world.

Again, my thanks to Carolyn Starman Hessel, Director of the Jewish Book Council, who I had the privilege of meeting, Joyce Lit, Network Associate and my two-minute coach, Miriam Pomerantz Dauber, Program Director, who arranged the conference logistics, and to everyone at the Jewish Book Council for this great opportunity.

It is really not that different after all to move from being a public sector social worker to author. They both can be catalysts for change if their heart is in the right place.

Wish me luck in New York. I will be presenting a two minute synopsis of Sidonia’s Thread at the Jewish Book Council Authors Network Conference at Hebrew Union College in New York City on June 4th. Who will be listening? About one hundred and fifty representatives of Jewish organizations from around North America seeking authors for events and speaking engagments, like Jewish Book Festivals, will be in attendance. In 2007, The New York Times described the JBC Network “Meet the Author” events as a “combination of “The Gong Show” and speed-dating.” JBC Two Minutes

How can I make an enticing presentation about Sidonia’s Thread in just two minutes? I never thought it could be possible. I have so much I want to say about my life with Sidonia, but two minutes is all I have. Over the past few weeks, I have worked on my speech, composing just the right hook to engage my audience, discarding extraneous comments and statements, and focusing on the salient aspects of my story. I finally have it. I found that it is possible after all to whittle your thoughts and words into a compelling, succinct presentation. I look forward to meeting the representatives of the JBC Network and thank the Jewish Book Council for giving me this great opportunity!