It seems that we are afraid to let our kids see sarcasm, that they will somehow be harmed if not everything in their life is sincere and heartfelt. For me sarcasm was a life saver as a kid. I moved a lot, sarcasm gave me tool, a tool to relate to others, a tool to show my humor, and yes in some cases to shrug off the hurt.

So I am owning it, I am a Sarcastic Mother, Loud and Proud. (So when I say things/ draw things on my blog. please here the sarcastic voice intended.)

And in honor of the dawning of a new day…

A comic.

Photos of those I love. Mail I’ve gotten that has inspired me. My favorite artists, including my son.

The time is now, it not next month after my son’s birthday, next week when things get a little better… I need to do it now. Its a commitment to myself that I can do this.  I want to be able to create, which I do already, but with a focus on sharing it, getting it out, letting it live outside of my head.

Often at the end of the day, my head is numb, my brain is dead with the why and whine I have heard all day. In the past year I have made a concious effort to eat healthier , exercise more, and have my family watch less tv. So why not take care of my creative side? Good question. Fear. Fear of being laughed at. Fear of being belittled. Noting hurts worse than knowing you used your 1 hour of quiet in the house to make a complete pile of junk and now you have to clean it all up with two kids dragging on your leg, wondering why you are only giving them half of your attention. Being a failure as an artist is one thing, but being a failure as a mother seems completely unacceptable…

So I am here, I am making a commitment to be more present in my art life, which i suspect in turn will make me more present in my everyday life.  Anyone else out there?

Babies lost before their face is ever seen, babies lost within their first breathes but loved an entire lifetime in that one breath. Children who have the unimaginable happen to them. Children who live in the face of death every day.

And yet every time I think about the unimaginable happening, I always have one wish and only one. That if I can not save them, rescue them, that I at least want them to know the full force with which they were truly and deeply loved.

This week while looking for photo references for my art, I ran across these photos on this blog. This blog has heart breaking pictures of what has happened to the children of Gaza. This mother spoke to me. The look on her face showed the depth the reach of how her love encompased her child, her strength, her warmth, her motherhood. Her boy who reminded me so much of my own first-born with his deeper than chocolate eyes.  She actually has the courage to work her face into the warm comforting face the boy so desperatly needs. Despite her inner pain and anguish she attends to her child first, knowing that these might be the very last few minutes she has to feel his warmth in her arms before it slips away. The image would not leave my head… it was aching to come out my fingers in its own translation.

So to mothers, our job is great, our Heartache often deep, but our love is bigger….

Next week hopefully something more upbeat sticks in my brain.

( Also the images on the website are of an Iranian woman and child, but the author used them to drive their point, which I guess also works in my favor also…)

Tomato Tortellini Soup

Hot Corn Dip

Source: ourbestbites.com via Hannah on Pinterest

Coconut Banana Bread With Lime Glaze

Spicy Carrot and Lentil Soup ( Leftovers Freeze Great!)

Source: vview.co.za via Hannah on Pinterest

Zuchinni Muffins ( I think they are a bit more like Quiche but whatever they are they were amazing! We actually used them as breakfast food.)

Martha’s Spicey Pumpkin Seed Recipe

What (Besides leftover Halloween Candy) are you eating?