Take pregnancy, for instance. I can’t count how many times I, or someone close to me, had their joy stolen during a pregnancy. You are plagued with fear for the baby. It’s hard to even enjoy it because with every cramp or pain you are panic stricken. Even the most laid-back of mothers struggle with sleepless, worried-filled nights. After pregnancy, comes the baby, and also comes a whole new set of fears. We worry about whether they have eaten enough, pooped enough, slept enough. We worry about their development. We worry about everything!

Satan is relentless. I can remember being pregnant and knowing that my fears were irrational. I knew that I wasn’t enjoying my experience like I should be. It’s not a simple thing to remedy. Even after prayer, it took a constant, and sometimes an audible reminder to lay my fears down. It makes me sad to think that I may have missed some precious moments in pregnancy and with my newborns because I let worry take over in my heart. What about you? Have you missed moments with your little bundle because of this?

Our joy and experience gets cheated when we spend time living in fear.

Here are a few things to hold onto if you find yourself in a place overcome by fear. Instead, be overwhelmed by what He has done in us and can do through us!

But I trust in you, Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hands…[Ps 31]

My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness…[2 Cor 12:9]

The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it!…[1 Thess. 5:24]

And this from my pastor’s wife:

often it’s not the work, it’s the weight that wears us down
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you…[1 peter 5:7]

Hope that helps you face moments of worry with confidence. I’d love to hear what helps you when you face fears.

Hannah

From the moment I walked in, it was complete sensory overload: unreal amounts of pink everywhere, giant posters of supermodels and endless amounts of lingerie in varieties that I never even knew existed! I quickly realized that I was totally out of my element. To top it all off, I’m the only guy in the store and there are women from age 12-50 watching me out of the corner of their eye to make sure I’m not some creeper. Very awkward!

Luckily I had a plan before I ever even entered the store.

H: Had I known my husband was headed to Victoria’s Secret I’m pretty sure I would have stopped him! This is a place that I’m uncomfortable in, so I was sure I didn’t want HIM in there! Ladies, I know you agree that those posters of models and endless amounts of lingerie do not inspire confidence. If anything, it does the opposite. What I feel great in and what VS says I should wear are very different.

J: So, back to my story! I walked straight to the nearest cash register (which is unfortunately about 150 feet into the store!) and said the following words, “I NEED A GIFT CARD PLEASE!”

About 2 1/2 minutes later, I was safely outside the store and on my way home with a great surprise for Hannah.

As I’ve gotten older, and just a little wiser, I’ve slowly realized that what guys think is sexy and what actually makes a woman feel beautiful are usually two very different things! Guys, we’ve been brainwashed by movies, media and magazines to believe that “sexy” looks, acts and dresses a certain way. I know it sounds simple, but guys hear this: the sooner you can stop comparing your wife to some perfect version of sexiness and start appreciating all the ways that she truly is beautiful, the better off you both are. And the closer you are to really finding what you’re looking for!

H: He’s totally right! That gift card was like a piece of gold! And not because it was just money to blow. It stood for much more. It meant that

1.) my husband is thoughtful and precious.

2.) he thinks I’m beautiful because he obviously had something in mind for that gift card!

And 3.) what I chose was going to be something that I feel confident in and enjoy wearing.

By building my confidence, he is building our marriage.

So our simple advice is this: If a man is going shopping at Victoria’s Secret, he really only has any business buying one item: a gift card (preferably in the $50 or $100 size – seriously guys, this stuff is as expensive as a trip to Best Buy!).

I’m more interested in giving Hannah the opportunity to buy what makes her feel beautiful than putting some outfit on her. By the way, this same advice applies for buying gift cards to Express, GAP, Target or wherever your wife loves to shop.

And I’m more interested in buying something that I feel confident in, not something I feel like hiding in! By letting me know his intention, but giving me the green light to purchase what I want, no one had unrealistic expectations. Because I’m confident, he’s confident.

Let us know how it works out for you!

We’d love to hear what you guys (and ladies) think.

Jake and Hannah

P.S. Victoria’s Secret should consider moving a gift card kiosk to the front door of the store – seriously – even just for the holidays!

It’s been really interesting to see it progress from college students to young adults to pretty much everyone. Even more interesting is the move from it being an American thing to truly being global.

Still, there are many people who are new to Facebook or may have been using it for a while but still aren’t getting the full experience. Here are a few tips to help you get the most out it.

1. Make a lot of friends. Every social media platform is boring if you’re not connected to others (that’s the whole point, right?). Facebook is unique in the fact that it is designed to “friend” people you actually know rather than just following anybody. FB makes it easy to search your existing contacts and add friends. Realize that whoever you request as a friend has to approve the request – so don’t be surprised if it takes a long time to hear back from some people. Start off by adding your closest friends and family. It’s usually helpful to look at their lists of friends and find mutual friends to add. After a while, FB suggests people for you so be sure and check those out. They are based on mutual friends. You can also search by specific categories – hometown, high school/college, graduation year, etc. It’s very interesting who you discover this way and can lead to some fun re-connections. As you make more friends, your news feed will have a greater variety of content.
2. Comment on what others have posted. As your news feed starts to fill up with new info, take a moment to “like” others’ updates or write a brief comment about it. Some great conversations can get started this way!
3. Post often. You don’t have to go overboard but don’t be afraid to share what’s going on. Obviously you have to choose what level of online sharing you are comfortable with but if something significant is happening, let people know. It’s also great to use “share” or “like” buttons on websites you visit. I frequently share blog posts, news articles, youtube videos and other fun things I find on the web.
4. When people write on your wall or comment on something you’ve shared, be sure to write back. This encourages more conversation and interaction. It doesn’t have to be lengthy but at least acknowledge that you got the message.
5. I’ve found that Facebook is great for sharing things that are visual (as opposed to Twitter, which only directly shares text). This is one of the main reasons I’ve been using Twitter less. Take advantage of this feature by uploading photos to albums, attaching links to great webpages and uploading videos when something good happens.
6. Go mobile – if you have an iPhone or Android phone, download the FB app. It’s a lot more fun when you can update status and check comments on-the-go!

There are many other great things about Facebook but I hope this list will get you started (or push you along). What are the items that you would add to this list?

Jake

This past year, Mavis attended a private preschool program. It was amazing. Her teacher was wonderful and I felt like she had a well-rounded experience. She had a very diverse class (which I loved) and really broadened her perspective on other children and families.

This next year we are going to explore homeschooling. Partly a financial decision, I also feel like it will be great for me to learn how to better educate my children. I hope that together we can learn about making our home a place of constant learning.The dilemma is making sure she gets enough time to work with other children, share, follow a line leader, etc. All of these things are hard to re-create at home.

I know these seem like big fears to be addressing with a 4 year old…it’s just I always want to be questioning my actions. I want to be a parent that doesn’t assume I’m doing everything right. I hope to take a balanced look at my actions, evaluate them, and make the best decisions I can for my girls. The other real issue is this…let’s just get it out there…can I sanely handle a year with no breaks from my little, precious princess. Yes, she’s adorable. Yes, she’s an amazing kid. BUT, I’m the first to admit my limits.

So…I’d love you to walk through this process with me. If you’re a homeschooling mom, please send some advice my way. If you a teacher, please update me with some great educational websites and ideas. I’m nervous to say the least, but, I’m energized by the idea! I’m excited to be a teacher to my girl. I’m oh-so-thankful to be able to spend some quality time with her this year before she heads off to kindergarten everyday. And let’s face it…I’m really excited about buying school supplies:) There’s just something so fun about that!

So, in honor of the first day of school here in Georgia, let’s begin a discussion about educating our kids at home. Some resources that I’ve found that are already helping me are:

1. Pinterest : my fave! This site is so full of ideas, crafts, and experiments. If you haven’t become a member of Pinterest yet, just check out this blog post. I’ll send you a personal invite and you can start pinning too!

2. ABC Jesus Loves Me : This is a great website for free curriculum. The weeks are laid out for you with printable worksheets and lessons. With a little supplementing on your part, you can have a well-rounded homeschooling curriculum for free!

3. I Can Teach My Child : This is a great website by a teacher who now stays at home with her children. She committed to helping mothers and fathers teach their children at home. She begins at birth and has resources for children well into elementary age. Check this site out for more ideas, resources, recipes, lesson plans, and product reviews.

Let the journey begin!

Hannah

We were married at 6:00pm at a candlelit ceremony in my home church. Young and in love, we couldn’t wait to set out on our honeymoon, just excited to be together and done with wedding details. We made the brilliant decision to leave on a 7am flight the day after our wedding. In our defense, we were headed to a small island chain off the coast of the Bahamas called the Abacos. They didn’t have too many flights coming in and out, so we had to fly out early enough to catch the last flight to the islands.

The Abacos are a small crescent-shaped chain to the east of the Bahamas that serve as barrier islands between Grand Bahama and the Atlantic. We had a secluded beach house all to ourselves for 8 days and we couldn’t wait! The islands were so small that you rented a boat instead of a car and used it to travel around, docking at restaurants, shops, and the like. The little islands themselves were small enough to walk directly across in minutes. We were instructed to head straight to the boat rental from the airport because you wouldn’t want to be navigating your way to your house in the dark-especially if this was your first time in the Abacos. Are you imagining the outcome of this??? Oh…it gets good.

We made it to the boat rental just in time. We rented a small, 17ft. privateer boat. Let me re-emphasize SMALL BOAT. The little Bahamian man tells Jake, “ Jus’ head straight for dis heading on your compass…your island is on de left. Go ‘round de tip if de island and your house is third on de left.” You can picture it. Sending two kids…out to sea…in a small boat…with my beautifully packed trousseau! – for you men out there, that’s a bride’s honeymoon wardrobe

This was never going to be a good idea. But, alas, we set out to sea. Nothing but a small boat and our love between us and the Atlantic. We turn our boat and follow our compass. We drive. And we drive. We pass island, after island. I keep asking my new husband, “Should it be taking this long?!? It’s almost dark? The sun is going down. And, are those rain clouds?!?”
Our 20 minute ride from the main land turns into a 40 minute ride and the weather isn’t looking great.

Finally! We see it! An island just like he described. We head straight for it, Jake driving the boat and me sitting up front, clinging to my luggage. This is when it gets good…

We reach the small island’s edge and things get interesting. The waves pick up and our little boat is rocking! We begin to go around the edge of the little island the waves are so high they are coming over the side of our boat. This can’t be right! I look and see that, what was supposed to be our secluded, romantic beach villa is a jagged shoreline full of cliffs and jetties. The boat is rocking so badly that I can hardly hold on to our bags. Jake is trying desperately to hold the boat steady and steer it into the waves. I’m hysterical. Jake is barely holding it together. I just know we are going to capsize. And not only are we about to die…BUT, my perfect honeymoon is clearly ruined!! How are we going to have the most romantic week of our lives if we are at the bottom of the ocean!

Just then the unthinkable happens…it begins to storm. Thunder booms, rain is soaking us and our things. Jake and I are yelling at each other. Finally, in a moment of sheer desperation, I scream out, “ LORD, YOU PARTED THE RED SEA…I KNOW YOU CAN GET US OUT OF HERE!!” Ha! Classic. So, classic. Just in the nick of time, and only because he is a seasoned surfer, Jake turns the boat around. We head back towards to tip of the island. The waves are still out of control. As we come around the edge, Jake actually positions to boat to ride a wave because at the point the boat is so small the the waves are so big it was our only chance of not tipping over.

We make it back inside the islands and see a man standing at the top of a cliff overlooking the ocean. He’s waving us down. We head our boat in his direction, heart-broken and exhausted. Our honeymoon is over. We’ve barely survived the first hour. He yells at us to come dock at his home. When we make our way there, he says, “ What are you kids doing?!? That’s the Atlantic Ocean! I thought I was going to have to call the Coast Guard!” He explains to us that we have TOTALLY missed our island and were in unprotected waters in a VERY little boat. Never a good idea.

We found our little beach house just as the sun set, with not a minute to spare. Our honeymoon was amazing, after we slept off our terror for about 18 hours.
Moral of the story…even just one degree off course, means much more down the line.

Hope you got a good laugh out of that one.
We’ll never forget it!
That’s our story, what’s yours…

Jake and Hannah

Atlanta is in the top 3 cities in the United States for human trafficking, and spends most of its time at #1. Just a few facts:
- There are 495 girls exploited in Metro Atlanta every month.
- Of those 495, it’s known that 100 of them on a nightly basis are sold for sex.
- The Georgia Demand Study estimates that 7,200 men pay for sex with adolescent females in Georgia each month.
- Forty-two percent of men who pay for sex with adolescent females come from the north Metro Atlanta region located outside of I-285.
And that’s where I live.

Shocked? Surprised? Whether you choose to believe it or not, it’s true. As for me, I can’t hear this and then choose to do nothing.

So what did Andy choose to do about it?
Here’s the plan he put together:

I am providing Metro Atlanta brides and grooms an opportunity to partner with me and choose that their Love Gives Way to the recovery and restoration of these girls.

The wedding day is set apart for the couple to celebrate their loving relationship and solidify their commitment towards each other. OneNine Images came up with the idea to use this day as a platform to shed light and impact the everyday lives of these girls who are trapped in a world so different from that picture: sex trafficking. The hope is that one day these girls may be restored and someday experience what true love looks like.

One simple goal:

So here is the goal: I plan to shoot 30 weddings from December 2011 – December 2012 offering a special Love Gives Way package, and part of this package price includes a donation of $500 that will go directly to Wellspring Living for a combined impact of $15,000. All other package details can be found in the PDF at the bottom of this post.

For this campaign, I am partnering with Wellspring Living, a non-profit organization aiding in the rehabilitation and restoration of women and girls who have been sexually abused or exploited. Their vision states: Wellspring Living desires to be the worldwide leaders in sustainable life transformation of women and girls by offering personalized care that transcends the individual and impacts the community. There is no better organization to partner with in the fight against human trafficking in our city. The $15,000 that we raise together will be able to provide for the recovery process for 1 girl through their Wellspring For Girls Victory Program.

Also, Blake Canterbury with BeRemedy has chosen to partner with this campaign. The goal at BeRemedy is to connect those in need with those who can help using social media as a tool. With that in mind, we want your guests to come on board with you and make a difference as well, so we will provide you with a registry filled with items the girls who are currently in the Victory Program need.

And finally, as a thank you, each bride and groom will receive Love Gives Way t-shirts as well as a custom piece of jewelry specially designed and created for the Love Gives Way campaign by my incredibly gifted friends at Mickey Lynn Jewelry.

We can’t tell you how privileged we are to call Andy and his family friends. We believe that Love Gives Way is going to make a significant impact on the sex-trafficking activity in our city and more importantly, directly change the lives of girls affected by this tragedy.

Help us spread the word. Share this on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, your blog/website, and of course, with your friends you know will be getting married! Let’s help One Nine Images surpass this goal!

To learn more about what else is included and to inquire about how you can become a Love Gives Way couple, contact Andy through email: andy@onenineimages.com

Download the Loves Gives Way PDF here.

Jake and Hannah

UPDATE: Cindy Simmons of Star94′s Cindy and Ray show has officially become the first Love Gives Way bride. Can’t wait to see who joins next!

UPDATE (8/5/11): Couple #2 just signed up!

Here are a few of my favorite small steps. These are short and simple enough to use daily:

• longer kiss when you come home – it’s amazing how simply holding that kiss a little longer changes the tone for the rest of the evening.
• catch-up time – I’ve blogged about this here but I love having 15 minutes with no TV/Internet/distractions for Hannah and I to reconnect after we get the kids in bed.
• flowers – always a good idea but really easy to pick up on those days that Hannah needs me to stop by the grocery store on the way home
• cards/notes – Who doesn’t love finding a note by the bathroom sink or in their briefcase?
• “happy” – Hannah’s family has always called small gifts that are given for no real occasion “happy”. It’s a just-because surprise and it’s always a good time for a little “happy.”

These are a few larger steps. They may take a little planning but trust me, it’s worth it to schedule a few of these every month!

• date night – Hannah and I wish we were more constant with this but we’re working toward having one night per week that we go out together – it may just be coffee or a movie or a walk but it’s essential to continue dating each other.
• weekend away- We try to put a 3-4 of these on the calendar every year. Again, it’s a discipline we’re working on but it is so good to have that time reconnecting with one another.
• sleepover/movie marathon – When we can’t get away, this is a great substitute! After the kids are in bed, we setup a pallet of pillows and blankets in the living room, pop some popcorn and stay up late watching a few movies together.
•  tackle projects together (install dishwasher, fold laundry, blog) – this is definitely a little more practical but it’s fun to pick a project and tackle it together.
• pj day – as an alternative to tackling projects, sometimes it’s great to just have a pj day together. This usually involves the whole family but it’s still a fun way to spend a lazy day, just hanging out with each other!

I’d love to hear if you have any suggestions to add to the list!

Jake

If you struggle with decorating your home, Pinterest is you new best friend. In my previous blog post about the home, I mentioned finding pictures in decorating magazines. Not only does this give you more pictures and color schemes than one home can hold…it takes you to the source. You can find that amazing piece of art you’ve been searching for AND find out how to make it yourself in 3 easy steps!! What is better than that!

Pinterest has definitely been a creative catalyst for me. More than ever, I’m motivated to try new recipes and start new projects. I’m connected to friends in a a new way and finding it’s a great way to encourage others. Posting something for yourself is a great reward, but having others find it valuable and useful is a great personal boost. You are able to share information in ways Facebook and other social media outlets aren’t providing as easily. I love it and I know you will too! If you aren’t already on Pinterest and want to be-let me know! RIght now there is a waiting list unless you are invited by a current member. Comment below with your email address and I’ll send you a personal invite!
So everyone…let’s start pinning!

Hannah

We got married pretty young. I was 23, Hannah was 20. When this picture was taken, we knew that a month after we got married we were moving 1000 miles away to New Orleans so I could start seminary and Hannah could begin hair school. I’m not going to lie; there was a mixture of excitement, fear and faith in that decision. We were leaving friends and family behind and setting off to start our life together. We were running into the unknown with nothing but our love and dreams ahead. That decision turned out to be one of the best things we ever did and certainly shaped our marriage like few other things have.

This photo has always been displayed prominently wherever we’ve lived. Although the location has changed throughout the years, and the frame has earned a few nicks and scrapes, it’s still such a perfect picture of us. I always think about how when we took this photo we had no idea what was in store but we knew we were going to face it together. 10 years later, that still holds true. We’re still loving one another and discovering new pleasures through the different seasons of life. I, for one, hope that always remains true.

By guiding my kids through this lens, my life as a parent begins to look a lot different. Quickly I begin to parent them, not out of what makes me look good as a parent, but from a place of the heart. It sounds so simple. It sounds like, as a Christian, that this would be the natural action. As I’m sure you know, it truly is not. Sin invades all areas…even those as well intended as discipline. I read a quote that said this,

“If your child never learns to obey the voice of a parent that they can see, they’ll never learn to obey the voice of a God that they can’t see.”

So convicting on so many levels…

1. Teaching my child obedience now, teaches them obedience to their Heavenly Father later. So weighty. So important to realize that developing my children’s ability to follow instruction with a glad heart, re-enforces their future desire to joyfully obey the Lord.
2. It’s not about me looking like a good parent and them acting like well-behaved kids. It’s about Jesus. It’s about me showing Jesus to my children and pointing their hearts towards Jesus. It’s not about convenience. It’s about eternal consequence.

I’m mainly preaching to myself here. Just a friendly and firm reminder that my daily job as a parent isn’t one to be taken lightly. And certainly isn’t one to become misguided. I hope this quote pricks your heart as it did mine.

Teach a youth about the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

Hannah