happy chachi

Heaven's Grocery Store

2010-03-28T03:01:00.001+08:00

I love the New Blogger!

2010-03-28T02:56:00.000+08:00

I was looking for another good theme to replace this black and yellow one that I currently have here but before that I came across the new text editor and was surprised to see that there are a few changes in the look. Uhm, well... not only in the look but there was also a lot of other tools added such as the adding of text background color, insert jump break (which is my new favorite), remove formatting, check spelling, define/translate and many other stuff (I'm not sure if they are new or not).

There is also a new Blogger Template Designer that you can use to customize your blog. I maintain more than a dozen blogs and I've already updated the look of the other ones that I want to promote and I'm really happy with the results! They may look simple to you but I like them a lot. Just as long as they look even better than the previous theme I used then I have no problem with that.

So I'll go ahead now --- to dream land... zZZzzZZzz... Good night!

Do You Want to be Truly Rich?

2010-03-22T12:44:00.009+08:00

Friends, do you think that you've got all what it takes to be truly rich? If your answer is NO, that's a major problem... BUT if your answer is YES! Then that's a good sign! You are on your way to financial freedom. Wait a minute, before we go on, can you define "TRULY RICH"? Is it about buying your dream house? Does that mean you get to own a sports car that you fancy? Does that also include going to different countries just for fun/recreation? I'm sorry to disappoint you but this is not the case...

For me being truly rich is not all that. It's waaaay beyond that! WHY? If you stick to material things, you will not be happy in the process because all of them will soon go away. Does that make sense to you? Let me give you an example...

I've been reading the blogs of Brother Bo Sanchez and I kinda got touched by all of the blog posts I read. They're pretty long, but if you read them, you will not get bored at all! First of all, it's jam packed with moral lessons and it's hilarious! You'll keep coming back for more! So instead of hitting youtube with the latest videos of wannabees, why don't you check this out and make good use of your time? One Blog post that struck me the most is the one entitled "Turning Thoughts into Things" - It's enlightening and in the end, you will be saying to yourself "Oo nga no?"

So back to becoming truly rich... It's not going to be easy like winning in the lottery or something. It requires hard work and you need to be "ready". This is important because if you have the money and you don't have the proper mindset, do you think the money will go to where it should be? I guess not. This is the very first thing that you need to put it mind. I've seen a lot of people with the money (close relatives and friends) but they don't know how to handle it. Most of them are "galit sa pera" - in other words, they don't spend it properly. Instead of investing it somewhere or giving their extra to the poor, they spend it on Havaianas... It's not that I have something against the brand but that's just an observation.

Sorry if you are offended about that. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a personal grudge with the brand because I can't afford it (I could even buy a truckload hehe - joke!) I also didn't want to jeopardize those who choose to purchase it... It's just that somehow, it already gets out of proportion that sometimes, you even borrow money just to follow your every whim and that's not good at all! So tell me, how can you become truly rich?

Being truly rich is not about how much money you have in your pocket or wallet or bank account. You could have a gazillion dollars and lose that in a second. My point here is - if you have that right now, even if you lose it, you can retrieve it right away or earn it quickly if you have a millionaire mindset. It doesn't mean that you need to steal from banks or be a Drug lord or a corrupt government official just to get those millions easily - it only means that if you know the right thing to do, it would be totally easy for you.

My friend, I hope that you're in the right path. Always remember that the purpose of wealth is to help others in need (take note, those who are in need of help and not tolerate their caprices) If you think you're ready, then that is a good start! Begin right and you will end right then pass everything that you have learned to others. That would be the best thing that you can do.

The next best thing to do is to be a part of the Truly Rich Club and be blessed with inspirational stuff such as God Whispers, free mp3s of the Bo Sanchez talks, free ebooks/books (Bro. Bo Sanchez recently sent a book - Turning Thoughts into Things, with his autograph!), You will also get information about the next seminar dates of the Truly Rich Club, Jomar Hilario's How to earn money in the internet, You can even earn money through their Affiliate program! But I think the best thing about this Club is that you get to share your money to different charity works through your monthly membership fee - all of that for a very good cause!

So if you're ready to subscribe, here is the link to the Truly Rich Club website - may you be forever blessed!

===TrulyRichClub.com - Do You Want to Gain Financial Wealth and Spiritual Abundance at the Same Time? ==

AND, you may also want to get God Whispers everyday:

=== GodWhispersClub.com - Get A Megadose of Blessing. And Take Your Life To A New Direction. ===

Eyes can speak...

2010-03-20T22:37:00.004+08:00

Image credit: chrisbonney

I was browsing through some photos a while ago and saw this... Eeeek! Scary huh! can you imagine if our eyes were like this?!!

I got rid of my posts...

2010-03-19T01:46:00.003+08:00

I finally got rid of my posts some 2 years ago - those that I copied from other websites. But hey, I didn't mean to copy, I just wanted to share that to everybody, the only problem is that I didn't mention where I got the content from and I'm afraid I'd get caught by the blog police or something! Anyway, I've been doing some experiments on SEO and some other stuff on my blog, I don't really know if it's working (hopefully it is!)

As I've mentioned before, I don't have a particular topic in mind when I made this blog. I'll just post anything that tickles my fancy and I hope you can relate (forgive me if you can't!)

So there, I've said it! You can browse through this blog and I hope that you can find something that is worthy of your time haha... :D

Earn money online - Bux.to

2010-03-17T23:29:00.005+08:00

Have you heard of this site before? One day, I was browsing through the "Buzz(es)" on my gmail account and came across a "buzz" of someone in my contact list saying that he earned through bux.to and of course, I was curious about the site so I checked.

So I decided to visit the site and it looks okay to me. My only concern is that they only pay through AlertPay* and I got a little worried because I got used to Paypal* and Xoom*. But I still went on with my registration anyway.

The instructions are quite simple, you can earn by surfing ads. You have to click on them one by one, wait for 30 minutes before you go on to the next ad and stop when all of the ads on the page are clicked. Another way of earning is thru referrals (which I think a fifth grader can do).

I've been surfing ads for a week now and hoping for good results at the end of the month. If you really want to earn, you got to have patience! And that's what I keep telling myself... So if you are interested on Bux.to go on, check it out and see for yourself. You might get lucky - your call.

*These are online payment services

Are you looking for a job?

2010-03-13T01:37:00.004+08:00

I'm very thankful because I feel that I have finally found my niche! Having a job in my own home is really an awesome experience. Well, I'm not really planning to stick to this way in the long run (like after a couple of years there might be a few changes to consider), I would like to open up a small business too... Like a small food or beverage stall in the mall or something or buy and sell properties, but as of now, this is as good as it gets.

I was thinking about a few things lately, like the growing number of unemployment today - I'm pretty lucky I was not a part of that group anymore... well, don't get me wrong, I didn't plan to denounce those who are not yet successful in scouting for their dream job, in fact, I really want to help. I have here useful tips on how you can finally catch the big fish from the sea of employment opportunities. Sorry if I wouldn't be available all the time to assist you in your job hunt because it would be a lot better if you could try it on your own. Trust me, when you find one, it's gonna be the most rewarding experience!

Here is my list of sites that you can visit:

So far, these are the three sites that I can recommend but I'm sure that there are also a lot of other sites that can also help. All you have to do is register, drop your resume and wait for them to email you.

BE PATIENT. It might take a while especially when you don't have experience but there are some who are willing to hire and train you if they like your profile. It took me a month to find a job and when I finally got one, I was too afraid at first because I was not familiar with all of the tasks that were given to me.

So I wish you luck and God bless in your job hunt!

Kris vs Ruffa

2010-03-09T14:27:00.004+08:00

I don't see anything wrong with what Kris said...
Is it because of the weather??? Sobrang init na kasi sa Pilipinas, ang bilis uminit ng ulo ng tao.

Hurt Locker vs Avatar

2010-03-09T00:47:00.007+08:00

Ha! You just don't know how happy I am when I found out that Hurt Locker won Best Picture in the Oscars. It's a surprise considering that everybody can't seem to get over Avatar and how great the graphics are. I've seen the movie on the bus on my way to Manila and didn't pay much attention to it because I've already lost interest in the middle of the film, so I slept... OK, call me mean but that's just the way it is...

About Hurt Locker, I've seen it last October and it was great! I've seen it on the bus and was thrilled to find out that it was also in the big screen during that time so I never left Manila without watching it AGAIN. Oh well, the movie means a lot to me - It's not like I love bombs or something but... I dunno, it just hit me right on the spot.

And... here's a photo of me and the poster haha! (as a remembrance of my going gaga over Hurt Locker)

myPhone q22 review

2010-03-07T17:45:00.006+08:00

I finally bought a myPhone Q22 last Saturday and it was nice. Let's face it, there's really nothing ultra special about the phone but it's okay, I just desperately want to get rid of my Nokia along with its terrible memories including all the text messages and pictures that's not worth holding on to. For me, changing my phone is just another way to get rid of the bad vibes from last year. So anyway, back to the phone. If you want to know some of its features, I'll be listing them all here.

I swapped my old Nokia 3120 classic phone (which I got for free because of a Smart Gold subscription) and the store said they would get it for 2,500 so I thought that it's not bad at all. The previous store that we inquired to said the value of the phone was Php1,500 so I thought that I instantly hit the jackpot with the Php2,500 deal. MyPhone is very cheap - Php3,990 less 2,500 (less 200 for open line) I just paid Php1,700 for the whole package. Right there and then, I surrendered my beloved Nokia to the hands of the sales lady and went home with a brand new Q22. My only regret was it doesn't have a memory card while they got mine on my Nokia! But now I think that I shouldn't put much thought to that as it served its purpose already....

If you're interested to know more about its features, check out this list:

Q22 DUO
FEATURES:
Myphone Q22 Features and Specifications:

* Type: Dual SIM Qwerty Phone
* Data Connection: GSM / GPRS
* Frequency Range: 900/1800/1900 MHz
* Display: 2.2 220 x 176 TFT
* Browser: WAP 2.0
* Messaging: SMS, MMS, EMS, Chat, Email
* Ringing Melody: MP3, True Tones, MIDI
* Connectivity: Bluetooth with A2DP / USB
* Imaging: 1.3 MP Camera
* Phonebook: 1000 Entries
* Card Slot: Micro SD / T-Flash up to 8GB
* FM Radio

# MyPhone Q22 Duo Dual SIM Phone
# Charger / USB Cable
# Manual
# Quick Start Guide
# Pinoy Phone Guide
# Mini CD for the PC Suite
# Warranty Card
# Ear Phones

The Cash Flow game is now affordable!

2010-03-07T01:00:00.008+08:00

I attended the Think Rich Pinoy Seminar last Feb 27, 2010 and we played the Cash flow 101 game towards the end of the seminar. The game is similar to Monopoly but in a different setting. Your goal is to get out of the "rat race" and when you are out, it means that you are financially free. I didn't get out of the "rat race" when I played the game. I don't know if it's because we didn't have enough time or I should blame the dice! But during the course of the game I was a bit lucky I bought a few good stocks and I got myself a good "deal". I bought my first property (house and lot) with low downpayment and huge ROI! Now that's what I call beginner's luck. If we were allowed to extend the game play, I could have been out of the rat race after a few rounds... but anyway, it was a great experience and I will be playing that in the near future for sure! Let me tell you that there is a Cash Flow 101 price drop today and it's now $120!!!! Now isn't that a great deal??? I'm sure it is and I'm planning to buy one as soon as I have gathered enough money... The price is not bad at all. It was once $300 and it went down to $120.

There will be another Think Rich Pinoy Seminar on May, so friends if you're interested please let me know so that I can help you sign up. If you want to play the Cash Flow game (held in Makati weekly) ping me and I will also help you sign up. Please be informed that you have to pay for that (amount may vary from time to time) but the meal is included there already and the stuff that you will learn on that day will be priceless so go for it! Let me know if you're interested :)

If you like this post, you may want to take a look at:

Rich Dad Cashflow for Kids

Rich Dad's Teach to Be Rich By Robert T. Kiyosaki (3 DVDs, 2 books)

Godaddy coupon codes - updated as of 3/20/10

2010-03-05T22:26:00.010+08:00

I've been receiving godaddy coupon codes and I thought I'd share it to everybody who needs them. I won't be using them anyway. Here they are:

fbhost15
get an extra 15% OFF Web Hosting plans, including Unlimited hosting
expires 3/19/2010

FBDOMAIN10
Act now and get 10% OFF regular prices on .COM, .NET, .ORG, .BIZ, and .US domains
expires 3/18/2010

fbgdhome20
get 20% OFF* your order of $75 or more
offer expires 3/20/2010

fbfhome20
get 20% OFF your order of $75 or more
offer expires 3/22/2010

gdbba72865
take 20%* off your order of $65 or more

That's all for now, I will be posting more soon.

I need your help! Do you know a good wifi phone?

2010-03-05T19:27:00.003+08:00

I'm thinking of replacing my old phone with a new one. Since it has been with me for over a year, I think it's about time for it to retire. The only problem that I have right now is I don't know what to buy... I'm okay with any phone model, as long is it's wifi ready. I went to the mall yesterday just to get an idea. I don't want to sound stupid but I really need help... :(

Here's a cellphone model that I've been keeping an eye on since last week:

Photo courtesy of Doc Tony Photography

My website got hacked!

2010-03-04T23:58:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone! I'm going to be using my old blog again (I changed the skin into something that has a more current look and feel. As you can see, I haven't updated the blog for months now because I'm sooo busy with work)

Anyway, back to my website - www.happychachi.com
It was two weeks ago when I keep getting code errors and it s*cks. I know I didn't give anyone access to the ftp or any other account I have and the hackers just deliberately destroyed my site. I'm still working on it now and for the meantime, I'm going to use this for posting.

So please stay tuned! I'm going to transfer to another hosting site soon. I'm currently registered to godaddy. I have a few domains that I need to manage so I guess I'll be busy as a bee as usual.

Just want to tell you to please keep in touch and let me do the dirty work... ta ta...

ugh...

2009-09-06T22:31:00.001+08:00

It's been a long time since the tragedy and I still feel restless until now. I don't know if this is the after effect of all that has happened. I just feel tired and unable to move from my place. I think any place I go will never give me peace of mind. I think this has already became a part of me and the seed of bitterness began to grow bigger and bigger each day. I know this has to stop but I can't make it stop. It has a life of its own inside my body. I have to admit it's already eating me alive. No matter how I keep on rejecting this detrimental foolishness, it still resides in me, making me its permanent residence. This painful endurance is definitely not leading me anywhere. It just makes me more miserable. I think I can no longer handle any misery and bitterness in my life now. It's all too much.

Elegant Dinner Parties on a budget

2009-08-12T00:51:00.000+08:00

Elegant Dinner Parties on a budget

SG trip part2

2009-06-12T17:32:00.002+08:00

Always wanting for more

2009-05-18T10:04:00.002+08:00

It seems that contentment is so hard to achieve as life appears to be like a never ending cycle of oddities. As man go on with the journey of life, never would he, by all means, admit that life is full or perfect. If this statement is disagreeable, then those who do not concur have literally stopped growing. At times, life may seem so wonderful but the following days or weeks, it may suddenly seem dull and archaic. When it comes to a point of extreme boredom then people tend to find ways on how to amuse themselves and fill their lives with entertainment. This is oftentimes bringing in the illusion of how happy a person can be but only temporary because change is constant and something we have to consequently accept.
As Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs may have put it, people are people and human nature still comes out in the open. Our needs are known ever since we were born and are clear as daylight. If we are clueless about this then I don’t think someone else should come to us and give us a lecture of what our needs are because it’s all instinct. However, Maslow just showed an illustration to further study needs of human beings in terms of their priorities, status and way of life.
Life however we put it, still the fact remains: there is always need for something more. Because everyday we don’t eat the same food, we don’t use the same clothes, we don’t buy the same stuff, we don’t read the same book, we don’t watch the same television show and we just don’t stay the same. We always want something different, something fresh, something we haven’t seen before – something more.
Then here comes the birth of expectations. Once satisfied, people tend to climb another step upward the pyramid and this sometimes may be the cause of a lot of incongruity. A person is totally different from another and one’s satisfaction may vary and would not be directly proportional to the other people around him. The total irony is when complications start to come in, only a few are willing to compromise. Isn’t it too obvious in our world today?
Every single day, there is just a growing need to be fulfilled and demanded to be given full attention. Notice that there is always an increase in number of people who still striving and looking for a better source of living? There are those who seek for improvement in their way of life. Your spouse is demanding, Parents are demanding, children are demanding, School is demanding, the workplace is demanding and in all honesty, everyone can get too demanding sometimes.
The key is coping up and accepting things as they are. It’s so hard to move forward from a particular stressful and painful situation when a lot of things are required from us. They may be a lot of difficulties but life has to go on and on with its cycle. If you find yourselves wanting and craving, then there’s really no need to panic because it’s quite normal. Of course there are still certain limitations. We can’t always have one’s cake and eat it too.
As perfection might be too arduous to achieve, somehow it’s important to learn how to take things slow and easy. It’s already perceived that we can’t please everybody. It’s a fact of life. Maybe it’s good to put into consideration a little faux pas but again, not too overdone for it might be a cause of misunderstanding. Again, we may find ourselves very sad and unsatisfied but let’s not overdo it. We may never like what we have today. But then again, maybe it’s way better than what we could have tomorrow. So everything is just right. Take it easy and enjoy life.

The 5 stages of grief

2009-04-12T13:54:00.001+08:00

There 5 stages of grief. Learn what to expect after a loss.

Grief is a somewhat commplicated and misunderstood emotion. Yet, grief is something that, unfortunately, we must all experience at some time or other. We will all inevitably experience loss. Whether it is a loss through death, divorce or some other loss, the stages of grieving are the same.

There are five stages of grief. If we get stuck in one stage or the other, the process of grieving is not complete, and cannot be complete. Thus there will be no healing. A person MUST go through the five stages to be well again, to heal. Not everyone goes through the stages at the same time. It is different for each person. You cannot force a person through the stages, they have to go at their own pace, and you may go one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of the process, and individual to each person. But, as stressed, ALL five stages must be completed for healing to occur.

The five stages of grief are:

1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.

Get help. You will survive. You will heal, even if you cannot believe that now, just know that it is true. To feel pain after loss is normal. It proves that we are alive, human. But we can't stop living. We have to become stronger, while not shutting off our feelings for the hope of one day being healed and finding love and/or happiness again. Helping others through something we have experienced is a wonderful way to fascilitate our healing and bring good out of something tragic.

THE NEED TO BE ALONE

2009-04-12T09:57:00.003+08:00

I feel smothered by something I can’t explain that well… Somehow I have been accustomed to be alone and locked up somewhere. The need to be outside would just be for the sake of having to breathe some foreign air. Otherwise, I’d be suffocated by the same air that I am inhaling and exhaling for the entire time. It’s a bit weird though. Before, I used to find myself all over the place. I Spend time with people, take pictures, enjoy a particular event and being motivated to LIVE. But now living to me is like a CHORE. It’s something that I should get through every single minute of everyday. It’s more like enduring it actually. I don’t know what stage in life is this. But I just feel like everything has gone PALE… I was consciously trying really hard to get out of this – but I guess it’s true that what your subconscious is telling you, that is going to happen. There’s this feeling of extreme guilt that’s eating me up inside. I feel so bad that I’ve caused a nuisance to a lot of people. I was hurt BUT eventually hurt a lot of people in the process… And then I thought about the reasons of living. I see other people and ask myself why do they go on with their lives? What are their plans in the first place? What’s the fuel that keeps them going? Some people tend to be driven by worldly pleasures. Others would persuade me to go abroad or get a high paying job, ANY job for that matter… just to give a meaning to my life… and so that I can give them money… YEAH RIGHT… money is the chief motivator… what else is new? They expect that the real reason of my existence in this world that I didn’t even choose in the first place is because I should provide them what they want… What are they really? A flat screen tv? A high-tech cell phone? The gadget that they’ve been wanting so hard that they’d surely die if they don’t have it? A nice car? Clothes that can show off? Or be seen at some good restaurant so that they can be proud at themselves for having been there? Gawd, I shudder whenever there is so much excitement about temporal stuff. I GET ENORMOUSLY DISGUSTED.

I had a lot of going on in my life. I always get what I wanted (would qualify me to be called a spoiled brat?), and also some of the stuff that I never really wanted or needed but got them anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful, for my parents who are working so hard to provide all that, buy it just adds up to the emptiness. The more I get, the more I’ve been looking for something else, something different. Something that will make me feel a lot more like a person than some dump site of material things. I’ve even been asked by others, what more could I ask for? And keep on telling me, if you don’t like your stuff then give them to me, I would take all the pleasure of using them… haha… What’s wrong with me? I honestly can’t explain.

The incident just kept on flashing back on my mind. I was nearly in the finish line. Just a few steps there and BAM… I blew it… I totally blew it! Instead of heading to the finish line, I went a few steps back and never finished the race. I just froze. The main essence of me being there just flew away like some balloon in the sky. Once again, utter DISBELIEF… how could I have done that! I should’ve been happy with the person that means so much to me… I could’ve lived simply and peacefully with my own family… without even wanting the material stuff that doesn’t even count…. without being pressured by a lot of people asking me to fulfill their wants and caprices.
Is that the main reason of my existence - to provide to them their happiness and throw away my own? They might have developed skewed values regarding ALTRUISM. I’ve never felt that I belong. They just need me to tag along like some doormat. Somehow, I’ve gotten tired of the stereotypes and narcissists. They have finally gotten into my nerves… I needed time to be alone. To breathe the sweet air that I desperately longed for. I’ve had enough of people who needed me and just leave me like this whenever there’s nothing more to give. Is it still possible for me to be wanted because they want to spend time with me and not exploit and take advantage of me? I want to experience the true meaning of reciprocated altruism , (or do I still have to bargain for conditional altruism at best?) Isn’t that too ambitious and idealistic of me?

Maybe I have to shrug this off… but in the meantime, some time alone would do me good.

Another eye opener shared by a friend

2009-04-07T15:18:00.001+08:00

PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn’t want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn’t fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other’s presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other’s foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible.

How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other’s habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long- time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other’s laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.

This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility.

One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other’s company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can’t accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn’t become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around
us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe. Marriage is a transformation we choose to make.

Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger.

It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter. But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one.

here is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex. So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.

If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom… endlessly.

Don't I deserve a little respect?

2009-04-04T17:37:00.004+08:00

I tried to discover a little something to make me sweeter
Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart
I'm so in love with you
I'll be forever blue
That you give me no reason, you know you're making me work so hard
That you give me no . . . Soul
I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me.

And if I should falter, would you open your arms out to me?
We can make love not war, and live with peace in our hearts
I'm so in love with you, I'll be forever blue
What religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover?
Don't you tell me no. . . Soul.
I hear you calling
Oh baby please, give a little respect to me.

I'm so in love with you
I'll be forever blue
That you give me no reason
You know you're making me work so hard
That you give me no. Soul.
I hear you calling.
Oh baby, please give a little respect to me.
Oh baby, please give a little respect to me.

A letter from God

2009-04-02T20:29:00.002+08:00

I got a letter from God... no kidding! It's right there in my inbox... :)

April 2, 2009

Dear Charissa,

Listen to your anger. Befriend it. It has much to teach you. You’ll
realize that deep inside your anger is fear. And fear should have no
place in you.

Love,
God

P.S. Have I told you that the only antidote to fear is love? So what are
your fears, Charissa? Surrender them all to me. I will take care of you.
That’s a promise

Fini...

2009-03-30T22:48:00.002+08:00

As requested by fini... ^_^

Bevs

2009-03-28T21:37:00.001+08:00

Another project that kept me busy...