Happy House Quilts - Behind the scenes

Recon tomorrow...yikes

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:27:00 +0000

Sorry for being so quiet...this summer was so busy with working, kids, babysitters...driving...making french fries...ahhh it will be good to get a break.

Well kinda...I finished working 2 days ago but today is my only day to get it all together as tomorrow i go for more surgery.

Reconstruction.
I have been saying...they are going to be putting me back together. Am I nervous? I haven't had time to absorb it all...but a year from now I'll be happy it's over. Denial is a powerful defense mechanism isn't it?

I have been knitting...and felting...this one was for my friend Gina...a tote in green and purple...i like the geometric pattern that I added to it...i've been finding much pleasure in the redundancy of knitting...it's been rhythmic and meditative...very healing...it's been forcing me to sit with the silence and manage the anxiety one stitch at a time. My mind races and I get distracted so easily. My memory isn't good...so this really helped me to focus on a task.

I've been listening to Christian radio daily and listening to Contemporary Christian music...my favorite is Fernando Ortega...these have helped me immensely! My personal relationship with Jesus is growing...which has given me such comfort this year.

This winter I will try to post more...but please don't forget that life happens...I'm just trying to stay afloat.
May your day be filled with peace, joy and the light of Christ.

Then you "stand" by rascal flatts

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 20:43:00 +0000

Love, Love, Love this song by rascal flatts...

I listened, REALLY listened, to it today on the way home from the oncology appointment...this video could have been better but the ending is good with the words to encourage...but try to not be distracted with the imagery so much...just shut your eyes and listen.

I was discouraged today, not by results, but just the long drive and having to go...i want the chapter to close and put my life back together and find the new normal...i feel kinda like the break dancer that spins on his head in the video...or the girl who throws the piano chair in a fit...each time I go back only to be told...things are fine...or your labs appear fine...is so frustrating...can't i go back to living unaware...checking in once a year? I can see how follow up with cancer survirors is difficult....it wears you out and you feel like what's the point...it (the cancer) is gone...but then another appointment is scheduled and you are reminded of the reality...that it (the cancer) could come back at any point...not that you are supposed to live with that reality...heaven forbid you walk around with a black cloud over your head...positive thoughts will keep it away...right?...living in denial is easier said than done when you are brought back to the smell of the infusion room...I walk by it each time I go to the hospital...it makes me sick to my stomach all over again.

...but doctor kaufman tells me checking my blood work monthly is needed...and how can I be so ungrateful, is impetuous a good word to use?...how can I be so ungracious...last summer I faced chemo...and this summer I don't...that's a good thing...but I guess it's all part of the grieving process we "Survivors" go through...my anger is leaking...

...but better that it get out of me...I surrender...Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done...those words are a hard pill to swallow some days...

enjoy the song...blessings, Jodi

On a scale of 1-10

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:00:00 +0000

So the last few doctor's appointments the nurses have asked me about my pain and fortunately I am not in extreme pain but the expander does make it's presence known. It's a weird lump. I will take motrin as I need it...but who knows, is it because I'm stressed over my life, or doing too much physically? Having an almost 3 year old that head butts you and wants to still be picked up and cuddled daily can't help the discomfort factor either. My whole shoulder aches as does much of my body. I still feel like I'm in slow motion most days. That annoys me big time.

I hate the question though. On a scale of 1-10? What does that mean. Why do I have to classify my pain or my quality of life right now?

But I am trying to focus on my life today compared to a year ago...the utter chaos then...not so much fear...not sure if denial is still present, maybe, but fear hasn't really entered my mind much. Thinking about it all, it doesn't seem like it happened to me.

So one year later? I'm doing darn good (reletively speaking)! The Lilacs smelled amazing and the garden is blooming! My expectations have been scaled down quite a bit. I don't expect to live on the Autoban or even the speed lane of the highway anymore like before. Bopping down a country back road is going to have to due. I can't rally the troops and organize big get togethers with my mommy friends...I have all I can do to keep things stable for me and the kids, and keep the house organized. My girl friend asked me how the kids were doing...and I am judging that answer on their school work (whichtheir report cards have been fine) and potty training success (still wearing pull-ups at night) as well as getting along with peers (no major drama).

Creativity still carries me through most days. My mom wanted me to make her a purse once she saw my tote. She did the knitting and then I helped with the felting, lining and design of the iris. I have included the inspiration from my garden.

So I'm glad to have posted...sorry to be so quiet...but like I said...it's like slow motion over here and most days I just let it flow and try not to get all frustrated with myself.
Live and Let God.
I will try.
Blessings to you all.

Survivor Day is every day

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Mon, 04 May 2009 12:06:00 +0000

Here is the final image of the "Save the Date" card for Survivor's Day :)

In some ways I'm so proud to be a part of this event and in other ways I wish I never was a part of this "club"
But...
Gratitude to the Lord should overcome all other feelings...as it will bring me through.

...blessings to you all today.

Sunshine ahead! Bring it on!

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 10:11:00 +0000

Yesterday was 90 degrees outside and I returned home from work by about 3 ish. It was hot...it felt good...but then a hot flash hit and total lack of appetite had distracted my attention. Anyway I managed to drink 2 ensure shakes and have a little bit of pasta. Thank you so much Christina for caring for my kids while I am working this summer. She is amazing to come to my house at 6:30 am for me to get to work by 7.

I was on the beer cart at the golf course for most of my shift...it was comical...the breaks don't work on the cart that well and it kept stalling. I had no sunscreen (I know, I know...i will get some today) and was afraid I would be slow counting the money. All in all it was a learning experience and I didn't end up in a water hazard :)

This past week was school vacation and I felt like everyday was a never ending task list of driving the kids to babysitters and back to the club. We did manage to get them swimming twice (thank you Kim and Christina) and Emily played 18 holes with my mom on Friday. The weather will be nicer each week now so Ellie is desperate to play too. I actually got to play a week ago while the kids were at my in-laws. 7 holes anyway...about 8 whifs...but I was focusing on making contact with the ball and I was proud of my accomplishment. My left arm was sooooo sore though...i suppose it's good PT after the surgery.

I love the sunshine...i just want to drink it up...feel the heat on my body and let go of feeling frail and chilled to the bone all the time. That's all I have for an update...sorry it's on the fly but the kids are all waking up for the full day ahead and I can't be distracted. TTFN. Blessings to you all.

Little Things make you Grin

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:24:00 +0000

Life with 3D glasses...

Each bite is yummy!

Seconds please!
Mimi and the big girls :)

Proud mom gushing

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 00:45:00 +0000

I attended the school concert for my kids last night...here are some clips...I'm so proud of them.

PMA

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:51:00 +0000

This ringtone cracks me up! click on the orange arrow.
Positive metal attitude includes smiling every day...have fun!

Create free ringtones at Phonezoo

I finished my wool tote!

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 00:03:00 +0000

I look exhausted but I HAD to share this, because this week I finished a project that I had been working on for 3 years!
2 panels, a smaller panel for a pocket and one huge brown gusset that seemed to go on forever...but really only 84 inches. Felted the whole thing up this week and it took 3 cycles in the machine.
I LOVE IT!
Check out the buttons...I knitted them up with a finer yarn with a #2 needle and inserted old bottle caps to give it form...made cording with double pointed needles with the same variegated yarn and left them unfelted for a great contrast.
I needle felted the other side :)

Karen convinced me it needed to be lined so I used an old pair of corduroys and some green homespun for the liner...even got to use one of the pockets and a belt loop from the pants on the inside...I loved those pants before they ripped on me.

It felt good to create and complete a project...I am grateful to God for giving me the gift of creativity.

Inspiration for the day

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 22:43:00 +0000

Photo Shoot

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 23:10:00 +0000

I was asked to pose with the kids for Concord Hospital's Cancer Survivor Day "Save the date" card.

Here is the photo:

I offered my wall hanging for the event too...i hope they accept it...I would be so honored. I did all my radiation treatments here and they were excellent. I also adore Lisa from the Payson Center support services too. She was a true comfort during some difficult days.

Meet my friend Koryn

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:58:00 +0000

This is Koryn's story...a fellow etsymom and breast cancer survivor. She had her mastectomy the day after me but we've been crafters together through the internet and etsy community. We have walked together through much of recovery this fall. I applaud her courage to be video taped and share her story. Her blog can be found at Mother's Precious Gems.

I hope you also enjoy her story...with God all things are possible.
blessings, Jodi

Rescue Me

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 13:58:00 +0000

This song gives me hope today...I heard it in the car yesterday...take a pause in your day and listen and feel His Grace.

Daily meditaion thought

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 14:40:00 +0000

This is from the Courage to Change book for February 16th...it totally speaks to me today.

"We move from being at the mercy of any problem that comes along to an inner certainty that no matter what happens in our lives, we will be able to face it, deal with it and learn from it with the help of our Higher Power."

...In All Our Affairs

2 Wolves

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:42:00 +0000

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that
goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two
'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed,
arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false
pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility,
kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and
faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his
grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

Thanks to my friend for sending this to me in an email...it is so simple yet so profound at the same time.

My grandmother died this past weekend...I got to see her on Saturday and spend the afternoon with her going in and out of consciousness. It was heartwarming to see her become alert with her son's voices as they said her name and called out to her. I couldn't help but think of when this moment will happen in my life...when my children will be by my side saying good bye to me...I can only pray that I live to be 96 like Nana Kitty did. She was not in any pain nor distress, she looked very much at peace. It was quite an honor to be witness to the end of her life. She definitely fed the good wolf!

I have not been much up to writing here lately...sorry to be quiet...maybe it's that treatment is over...maybe it's the short days of winter...maybe it's the running around after a toddler all day long...i don't quite know. I'm trying to prioritize my tasks and hug the kids more. I'm trying to be less irritable and more patient. Most days are long and I am happy to lay down at night...though it's never alone for very long.

Sara got her hair cut...oh she looks like such a big girl now...so much of her young life has been wished away...I hope I can make it up to her someday. She sits in my lap now...I need to wrap this up...but know the suport you all have given to me is cherished daily.

Thanks Deedaloos (aka Kim) it was fun for all!

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:12:00 +0000

Deedaloos: HOLIDAYS & SNOW MAKE GREAT FAMILY FUN

check out Kim's post (click on words above) with pictures of cutting down our holiday tree with her family and the kids making cookies at her house one day during vacation while I had to go to radiation. I am so blessed to have amazing friends to see me and my family through this trying time of cancer.

Wigless

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:32:00 +0000

So here I am, the new wigless me...hair is growing back and i'm wearing my favorite sweater...i'm always so cold. I think I might like the hair-do better if it were warmer.
I never want to be bald again...EVER, EVER, EVER!!!

I am so darn tired...I thought I was tired before radiation started...well, this is "can't pick your head up off the back of the couch tired". I keep my happy face on for the kids...but it's very draining. I feel heavy and just going through the motions most days. Plus I got a horrible cold this week.

I want my enthusiasm for life back...i miss that about myself. But this is my journey...I am following God's lead.

I found a new favorite breakfast to eat, the nutritionist recommended it...vanilla yogurt, blueberries and walnuts...oh it's sooooo yummy...every calorie counts and I'm trying to drink ensure during the days too to add more calories to my diet.

I go to see the oncologist on Thursday and hopefully will hear all about my upcoming year of treatment...oral meds or whatever cancer patients do after the big guns of chemo, surgery and radiation.

I heard from a fellow survivor last week that her cancer is back after 4 years...it totally makes me nervous...how long do I have? will the cancer ever come back...??? I know I need to get to 2 years, then 5 and it's 50-50 of getting to 10 years without a recurrence ...Sara will only be 12 and em will be almost 19, ellie 17...they will still have so much life ahead of them...ellie and I have a thing...she says "99" and I say "66" that's how old I will be when she is 66...oh the stories I will tell when I'm 99...I hope they make my hair curl!!!

I am so grateful to all my family and friends for being so supportive...it's so necessary when you go through this disease to have cheerleaders on the side lines...some days it's hard to remember who you used to be.

Oh my skin is itchy...time to take some more zyrtec (radiation causes your skin to burn and itch horribly). The kids are playing pet shop and it's almost time to do reading and hit the pillow...last night we had everyone in bed by 7:30!!! Really, lights out...it was awesome...except I tried a night without my sleeping pill and I was up every 2 hours....but I was able to go back to sleep!!! I consider that a success!

Blessings!

What cannot be shaken may remain - Hebrews 12:27

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 11:13:00 +0000

I haven't fallen off the earth...although I've had moments when I wish I could. Well...maybe just crawl into a hole for a few days...

Storms, cold temperatures, kids being on vacation for 2 weeks, a toddler with a horrible cold, holidays and daily radiation have kept me away from cyberspace. I also hate to post without a picture...so here is my image today...it represents my state of mind and body...cold and vacantwhat an amazing visual design?!?!?...a play of light and dark....it's hard to tell how deep the cover of snow is...a thin crust of ice get's formed on top...

We as people do this...cover our true selves up and then develop thick crusts to protect our tender hearts. Our humanness often blows with the wind and our moods, tricking others into seeing what is and is not there.

I am comforted by the Hebrews passage, "what cannot be shaken may remain" (Hebrews 12:27). I want to be steadfast in my faith...choosing forgiveness and seeing what the eyes cannot see, choosing to find the light...but knowing that with the Grace of Christ Jesus all will be worked out.

I do struggle with patience though. *sigh*

Here is a pic of the kids on Christmas :)And here is a pic of Sara with her new AG Julie doll...in her custom boutique made to match Gymboree doll clothes from MaPetiteChou.com

She loves being "same-same" with her doll!Too cute!
And the fact that Julie has butterfly underwear is actually jump starting her potty training again...hooray!

I'm going to try to get a picture of me and my "long" hair...it's about 1/2" to 1" long now...

radiation has me exhausted but thanks to my church's meals ministry I am able to eat good healthy meals with the kids through the week. It's a wonderful gift these meals...I'm down to 115 pounds now and want to stop loosing weight and maybe try to put some pounds back on.

My skin is irritated, itchy and very sore...2 1/2 more weeks to go of daily treatments...then time to heal...and breath a sigh of relief that most of the treatment is over.

May the strength of Jesus help you all through your struggles...I say with confidence that He is my savior, God bless.

Read about my original diagnosis here.

Read about Art Therapy and how my children and I have managed Cancer in a past post here.

Merry Christmas!

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:16:00 +0000

May jolly St. Nick fill your stockings to the brim :)
I am filled this year with the Holy Spirit and am so grateful for Jesus Christ and hope to be a better instrument of His word into 2009.

Blessings to you.
(12 radiation treatments down 16 to go.)

Running on Empty

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:07:00 +0000

I was feeling really weary last night and then after picking up the kids from an activity I realized my gas tank was reading ZERO miles till Empty....oh my gosh...just a few minutes earlier it read 43 miles to Empty...what happened???!?!?!?!?...I only went a few miles away from the house....so after i panicked and had a cry...I tried my new meditation tape to try to refocus myself...

In the light of day I realize that many people offered to help and ultimately someone came to my rescue. Today was radiation treatment #8 out of 28. I read the Bible this morning and was captured by this passage from Romans:

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:5-6, 13

I am encouraged by those words and will focus myself on endurance and hope today despite feeling my own personal fuel tank feels like it's on on Empty.

God is an awesome God.

Checking in before the holidays

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:40:00 +0000

I'm very apathetic and lethargic these days...trying to work on being in the moment. My body feels heavy and the urge to "do" things has escaped me lately. My brain is cloudy and my thoughts wander. Concentration is hard and minutes turn into hours and nothing has gotten done. I fell like I'm in a dream...floating.

This picture was taken over Thanksgiving--->

I closed my etsy shop for now. It's going to get chaotic with the holidays and I just need to take a break. I've gone back and forth about it since the diagnosis...but for now, it's the right thing for me to do. The website is still online but nothing is for sale...it's just there for viewing.

I'm reading a book recommended to my by a social worker, Full Catastrophe Living, using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain and illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD
It's not Christian but more Buddhist in philosophy (however I try to remember that any form of meditation is silently listening to the whisper of God)

It's all good stuff to remind me to be in the moment and focus on my breathing...to work on "being" rather than "doing". I need a lot of practice at that.

I found some interesting cancer related sites and wanted to share them as well...

I kicked cancer's ass
Stories, resources and support

Circus of Cancer
a how-to website for when your friend has cancer

Blessings to you all :)

Ice Storm and Hot Flashes

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 22:08:00 +0000

So here in NH we had the worst ice storm in a decade Thursday night into yesterday. Our town lost power and we lost power for over 24 hours...it was cold and the kids were home from school.

To see more beautiful pictures from ice storms ---> click here<---
Thank you to Dave Delay from flickr for permission to use his photo :)

BUT...
I still had my radiation to go to...the childcare that I had set up for Sara wasn't available with the storm cancellations, so my good friend Karen came through for me and took all 3 kids so I could get to my appointment on time. I managed to get gas and a quick stop at Sam's club for some ice melt that the nice employees put into my basket and again into my car for me.

It was a woman older than me that helped me lift the 50 lb bucket into my car...she looked no bigger than me...i felt embarrassed that I couldn't lift it for myself...I feel like a frail, little, old, bald lady...I told her of the mastectomy and she helped me with a grin.

"You gotta' do what you gotta' do, right?" she said.

I replied, "it sure beats the alternative" and we both smiled.

So 3 days of radiation are done and 25 more to go...it's a huge contraption. The whole room is probably worth millions of dollars...and all there for me...to get well. I lay on the table topless and a big arm comes around me, like when you go to the dentist and get x-rays but about 10 times bigger. Then these teeth-like metal plates form a square-ish shape behind an acrylic window with a "heart block" so that the radiation doesn't penetrate my heart. I have 3 "fields" so the arm moves into 3 different positions and I will get x-rays weekly and the tatoos are already permanently marked on my body so the machine can precisely line up each day in the same spot. They tell me fatigue and some sun burn-like skin irritation will occur, but I'm already fatigued...I usually crash by nightfall. I get the hot flashes mostly at night now too. So how worse can I feel?

When radiation was done...I drove home and saw all the beauty and destruction that the storm did. I wish I had time to take some pictures but then I gathered up the troops packed a few bags and trotted off to my parents house (as I thought they had power). We got there and of course, like Murphy's Law, power was out there too (they were happy to be in Florida during this whole event!). They have a propane fire place so we stayed and layered up the beds with extra blankets.

It was cold but I still managed to have my hot flashes and I just kept kicking off the covers and taking my hat off, only to then get cold again and slipping my hat back on and burying my face in the covers...by about 4 am the electricity was back on. The morning was filled with chaos with the kids and we were able to come back home as our power had returned too.

I'm beat.

I know of several friends that still are without power, probably till next Tuesday?! I pray that they get power sooner. It makes for a long day with kids...I am so dependent on power...I try to think of what it was like for women 150 years ago when the pioneers went west and 300 years ago when New England was first being settled. Women gave birth in the middle of ice storms and in the dead of winter. I'm glad I live today with medicine and surgery and chemotherapy and radiation...as awful as those things can be...I'm glad they exist.

So President Bush declared NH in a "State of Emergency" which seems like my life lately. I'm tired of being a storm that needs to be on everyone's radar.

But I do appreciate everyone...

and the fact that I matter to so many people. This is part of the gift of Cancer...feeling the love...I feel it every day. Be warm and dry my family and friends.
Blessings to you all.

A Beautiful Life

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:53:00 +0000

My mom gave me a great card, from Hallmark, for my birthday. It reads....

How to make
A Beautiful Life
reflections for a Daughter on her birthday

Love yourself.
Make PEACE with who you are and where you are at this moment in time.
Listen to your heart.
If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, make TIME for yourself.
Enjoy your own company.
Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try.
Take chances.
Make Mistakes.
Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it's also full of surprises.
The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone.

Be happy.
When you don't have what you want, want what you have.
Make DO.
That's a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow.
You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY.
To know where you're going is only part of it.
You need to know where you've been, too.
And if you ever get lost, don't worry.
The people who love you will find you.
Count on it.

Life isn't days and years.
It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you.
MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE...the kind of life you deserve.

Winter, too, shall pass

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:42:00 +0000

I was struck by an empty field on my way to my radiation simulation yesterday. I feel like these dormant branches...suspended in time, frozen by fears...the cold has set in in NH and the sun grows dim. I feel like crawling into a hole most days. I see moms holiday shopping with their kids as I go to pick up prescriptions and they give me a look and acknowledge my head scarf...then quickly turn away. Some women have looked me straight in the eye and wished me luck...it's very strange, watching people react to me. But most days I avoid looking at myself too.

I am down to 117 pounds. I'm not trying to loose weight but nothing appeals to me. Cooking is a chore or makes me nauseous. I don't enjoy eating at all. But I do try to prepare something for the kids and I manage to eat a little in front of them. Look at these suspended dried up flower/seed pods. I feel dried up too. My skin is flaky, my hair is just growing back...but my body reflects winter much more than spring...I look forward to the spring of next year...
HOPE.

Radiation starts December 10th (5 days a week for 6 weeks). I got my tattoos done yesterday. Laying on the table for over an hour was very emotional. I was stretched out with my arms over my head...topless...and tears were streaming down my face...the technician came to me and wiped my tears and told me to try to be still and not move...my mind was flooded with thoughts...reality of this past year.

It's Christmastime...and my birthday is this weekend...and my gift to myself is barely a 1/4 inch of hair on my head...my gift is life...cancer free...but in constant fear it might come back. Emily (8 1/2) has asked me several times..."Mommy, are you going to die?" I always assured her I wouldn't...but looking over the past several months...i really could have.

I took the picture of the clouds as I got back into my car after my simulation appointment. My head is in the clouds most days lately.

I then proceeded to drive past the hospice that is part of the hospital. I thanked God that the girls do not understand that word. "Hospice". I'm alive, I'm healing, I will be better soon. Thank you Jesus for carrying me these last few months, shielding my mind from the anguish of cancer. This is just a spell...a brief blip in the life of me...I'm going to be ok. God has a plan and it's His will, not mine. It's a relief to be able to let go.

Read about my original diagnosis here.

Read about Art Therapy and how me and my children have managed Cancer here.

Pictures speak a thousand words

lccjjd@yahoo.com (Jodi @ Happy House Quilts) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:01:00 +0000

Hello folks...I've been very busy with my dd#3's birthday, recovery, chasing after a 2 1/2 year old and preparing for Thanksgiving break...that's me in my wig with 2 of the kids at my mom's house...so this post will be mostly with pictures...many thoughts spin in my head...but mostly I've been tired and sore...Physical therapy has started and radiation will start in December...nerve endings fire all the time and my whole area of the incision is so sensitive...i don't even like water to hit it...no fun...but on the positive side...my swelling is down, my range of motion is better and I'm getting better each day...

Ellie got a horse from the American Girl doll company for her birthday...ya' think she's happy?

This picture of em came out so nice...the kids are still in counseling but doing well...Here's a shot of my eyebrows/eye lashes...they are falling out as they grow back...just stubble these days...

I got this package from Anhoki at etsy this week...oh my goodness it blew me away...I was speechless...it really did brighten my week...Thank you so much!
I needed to say a huge thank you to the etsymom that gave me this necklace over the summer...it says "Survivor" on it...I wear it everyday...with embarrassment I have misplaced the shop name....i will keep searching...

Koryn from the Taffybox at etsy gave me this bracelet (it's georgous)...only to find she had to face this diagnosis herself. My prayers are with her and our friendship grows as we now have so much to share.

Crochet hat by
Margo Smith Designs
*giggle*
it looks like hair...but i may wait till i have some more of it...to wear it out :)
RikRak
Jen Hintz Yarn Knits
Happy at Home Made
Knitsteel
Eblankies
So many wonderful family, friends and etsians have shared with me gifts, time and love...my gratitude is just not enough but will have to do.
Blessings to you.
Happy Thanksgiving!