May 17 10pm WRSU

Bill and I are pretty excited about this because we both listen to WRSU regularly. In fact, I’ve been listening to this very show since back when Brian Bruden was on there talking about local music as well as his various adventures. The show is currently being run by Geoff Pape and Lia Wilderman, who are doing a terrific job broadcasting two solid hours of great music every week.

So tune in on Friday, May 17th at 10pm. I don’t know exactly when we’ll be on, but it’s all good so be there.

You can vist Overnight Sensations on Facebook right here

Endangered Species

1. Less injuries
Sure, you like to “turn pages,” but what about paper cuts? How many people are mortally wounded every year due to this risk? Exactly – none. So that was a stupid comment on my part, but I will forge on and hope to come up with something better in the next paragraph.

2. Definitions
With the Kindle, you can press on a word and see its definition. Man, I wish I’d had this feature when I read Moby Dick! I might have made it past page three.

That was a joke. I actually waded through all four million pages of that soggy seafaring masterpiece and even enjoyed the last 10 pages or so. And it took a long time to do it because I had to look up every other word in the dictionary. On a positive note, I do know what “portentous” means.

3. The Kindle cuts out the boring parts
This is amazing! The digital technology automatically filters out all the pages that are completely uninteresting. Man, I wish I’d had this feature when I read Ulysess!

Note: This is a joke. The super cool feature I’m talking about does not actually exist – yet. But I’m hoping they come up with it soon. For the record, I made it to page 70 of Ulysses.

4. It’s easy to move
I just moved to a new house. If all my books had been digital, it would have saved a lot of packing and lugging and moving and figuring out where to put all the damn books. This is a legitimate reason, and I heartily embrace it.

IT LOOKED SOMETHING LIKE THIS

Sunday, April 28 at 3pm and 10pm
Tuesday, April 30 at 10pm
Thursday, May 2 at noon.
 
Did you record that information in your iPad, using that super cool app that gives you an electric shock if you don’t tune in? Good, because I helped write that app. So far it’s made no money – but on the positive side we’ve knocked several people unconscious.

If you tune in, you’ll hear me and two other singer/songwriters take turns playing some “unplugged” tunes in Lazlo’s studio. In between, we talk a bit (sometimes more than a bit). I’ve done this before, and it’s pretty cool, especially after a few songs when everyone starts talking more. Usually, this is after we’ve also had a few drinks.

That was a joke. We only drank water. Except for the whiskey.

That was a joke. There was no whiskey. Tune and hear me, plus Ed Tang and Neil Sabatino. It was pretty good.

Tom And Doug Studio, Frenchtown, NJ

Tom and Doug are great guys. They are also musicians who have two very cool CDs of smart, funny music. They have a massive studio built into the side of a mountain, kind of like the city of Gondor on Lord of The Rings. We taped three episodes. The first show involved talk about getting fired, and included my tunes “Taking Out The Soda Machine” and “Double Crossed.” Meanwhile, Tom and Doug do their own versions of “Tomorrow Never Knows” and “Macho Man.”

Tom is Tom Florek, who created the awesome documentary about Jack Stock. Here’s the one-minute trailer. Check it out!

You can also check out a lot of other cool stuff about Tom and Dong on their web site, like three videos, including their classic tune Gangsta Knitter (it’s funny).

Big thanks to both guys for having me!

It’s also available at B&N.

Thanks to the people at the famous Cafe Improv in Princeton, NJ, for once again picking one of my performances as “best of the year.” They even left in the little intro explaining the song, which is called “Taking Out The Soda Machine.” This is a song about people getting fired. It’s a true story, too, and you can see me playing it right here.

If anyone wants to sue me, go right ahead. You can reach the Happy Joe legal department at 1 (800) NO MONEY. If the line is busy, try 1 (800) FUCK OFF.

I’m also supposed to be playing this song live on Tom Florek‘s radio show at some point this year. I don’t know all the details yet, but it’s called The Tom and Doug Show, and it’s on the Pacifica network (I think that’s part of NPR). Tom is one hell of a talented guy, so check out his link. I hope to be back at Cafe Improv soon.

In other news, I finally finished the video, “Song For The Next War.” It’s right here. Don’t watch it if you don’t want to see images of dead people. Don’t start wars, either.

I think the video has received about 75 views. For my next video, I will feature a cat playing the piano, or maybe a guy getting smacked in the testicles by a football and then falling down a flight of stairs. Those will get about 5 million views each, I’m sure.

I’m going to be playing on blowupradio.com’s “guitar pull” on January 27. I forget why it’s called a “guitar pull,” but it involves three people sitting around in Lazlo’s studio/living room taking turns playing “unplugged.” I don’t think he airs it live, so I’ll post the date at some point. In the meantime, check out blowupradio.com. It really is a great internet radio station.

“THOSE ARE THE BEST SHOES I’VE EVER SEEN!”

It’s true, they don’t – and that’s because no one in 2012 wants to hear Fay Wray shriek like a broken fire alarm for two hours. Really, that’s all she does in that movie. It’s an interesting study in culture change. In 1933, men were men and girls were shrieking. It was worse than a Victorian novel.

Then came the 70s, and a remake with Jessica Lange and Jeff Bridges. If you thought Fay’s character was bad, just try to suffer through 30 minutes of Jessica’s “Dwan,” some trippy dippy chick who is totally unworthy of rescue from the clutches of a giant monkey. And really, the monkey would have gotten bored with her. What would they talk about? He was thinking about bananas while she was busy reading his zodiac sign.

In 2005, the guy who did Lord of the Rings (Peter Jackson) decided to throw his entry onto the monkey pile. He used a lot of computer-generated graphics to create an extravagant version of the film that is a cool seventeen hours long. This time the girl is played by Naomi Watts. Naomi’s character had a brain, and she knew how to tap dance. In fact, she danced and talked at the same time. But the best scene in the film is when she runs ten city blocks and then climbs a skyscraper while wearing five inch pumps – and never even loses a shoe. Now THAT is talent.

SHE LOOKED WORSE IN REAL LIFE

Hurricane Sandy has taught me a few things about perspective. When California is swallowed by an epic earthquake, I will not send tweets concerning the great time we’re having in New Jersey on Arbor Day because I know that someone gasping for life while pinned beneath the remains of a fallen skyscraper will not care about pictures of the cute little maple tree some Girl Scout planted in Grandma’s backyard – oh, it’s so leafy and green! LOL! 

Here’s an actual exchange between an EMS worker and a NJ Driver:

EMS GUY: “I’m sorry, sir, you can’t go through the blockade. There’s a sparking power line on the road.”

NJ DRIVER: “What are you talking about? Do you know who I am?  I have a business over there, and I have a gigantic SUV, and I’m stuffed full of pork roll and donuts, and it’s all about ME, ME, ME, because I PAY TAXES GOD DAMMIT!”

(Okay, this was not the driver’s actual response. This is an embellished response based upon my knowledge of the dumb-ass population. The driver’s actual response was, “I’m friends with the mayor.”)

EMS GUY: “Is the mayor going to keep you from getting electrocuted?”

NJ DRIVER: “Uh, duh, uh, duh, uh, doh. Maybe not.”

EMS GUY: “Go home.”

NJ DRIVER: “Right.”

I won’t bore you with my hurricane adventure involving a bottle of wine and a runaway trampoline. Maybe next time.

Electricity, I love you.

AUTHOR CECY ROBSON

As promised, Cecy Robson is here for an interview. Her awesome three-book series, “The Weird Girls” will be released soon with Penguin’s Signet Eclipse. Here’s your chance to get acquainted with her before she hits the big-time, so consider yourself lucky.
My questions are in black, while her answers are in a friendly shade of blue.

Hello, Cecy. Thanks for coming!

Hey, Joe! Thanks for having me.

Well, let’s start off by talking about your characters because you’ve created some great ones. You have a hot-tempered girl who can control fire (Taran), a shy girl who can heal people (Emme), a knife thrower (Shayna) who talks like a surfer dude, and a smart-as-a whip protagonist who turns into a tiger, or sometimes just part of a tiger (Celia). But let’s get down to the real issue – at least for your male fans. Namely, which one of your characters is most likely to make a sex video and leak it onto the internet to drum up publicity? And can we get a copy of it?

If given a choice I’d have to say Taran, my little vixen, is most likely to make a sex video for fun. If it leaks, it’s likely because she took the wrong guy to bed and he released it without her consent. Taran’s bedroom romp with the wrong kind of guy is not anything new. In fact, it’s what lands her and her sisters in vampire court in the opening pages of SEALED WITH A CURSE.

Vampire Court? Is that like traffic court? Did she run over a vampire with her Volkswagon Jetta?

I’m glad it’s NOT like traffic court. Otherwise “driving without a seatbelt” offenses would end with torture and/or decapitation.

Ah, violence. I’ve noticed a certain amount of it in your books, and by “a certain amount” I mean quite a bit. Do you like a good fight, Cecy? Are you a fan of the UFC? Mixed martial arts? Cable news networks?

Why yes, Joe. As a matter of fact I enjoy a good rumble. I grew up watching Kung-fu Theatre, “professional” wrestling, and occasionally watch UFC matches with my husband. There was also a reality TV show on a while ago called Fight Quest―in which two men travel the world to learn various martial art techniques―which I loved. I draw the line at cable news. Some things are just too violent. *shudder*

I think part of what we love about supernatural characters is their ability to kick ass. If you had the opportunity to throw bolts of lightening and fire, how many people would you incinerate in a year? Be honest, and keep in mind that I know you’re originally from New Jersey.

Hmmm. In all honesty I have to say none. Mostly because I was raised Catholic and the guilt associated with such an upbringing haunts me to this day. I do, however, take revenge on my guilt by dressing up my vamps like naughty Catholic schoolgirls.

Whoah! Now that’s interesting! While everyone out there is busy thinking filthy thoughts (hey, I know the kind of people who read this blog), let’s talk about love. There’s some romance in your books. Your main character seems to think about it a lot, and she seems lonely. Why did you make her that way? Was it something personal, or was it something you think many girls will relate to?

My series is actually an Urban Fantasy Romance so there’s action and romance on every page. Celia’s loneliness developed from how I perceived humans would react in the presence of a tiger. Although they couldn’t necessarily “see” Celia’s inner beast, they could sense her on a primal level. And while most humans agree tigers are beautiful creatures, they’re not foolish enough to approach one―much less cuddle up to one. Because of this innate fear, most humans stay far away from Celia―leaving her lonely, dateless, and awkward around males. I think any woman who’s ever felt like the odd gal out can relate to Celia. I know I can. When the sisters move to the mystical region of Lake Tahoe, however, Celia encounters other preternaturals. And let’s just say vampires and werebeasts don’t scare easily.

I originally thought the concept of four gorgeous girls being “weird” was far-fetched―because let’s face it, attractive girls get a lot of forgiveness in our society. But after reading the book, I’d say you definitely pull it off. These girls would have some social problems.

The girls definitely face social scrutiny since humans sense something different about them. “Different” isn’t typically embraced by human society and “weird” just plain terrifies.

Let’s talk about music. Poof! Your book has been turned into a movie. What is the soundtrack like? Or is it eerily silent?

My ideal soundtrack would have to be both dark and sexy like AFI’s Prelude 12/21. Enter Sandman by Metallica is one I listen to prior to writing fight scenes and would fit during a more heated supernatural smack-down. I’ll also need something gut-wrenching. A time will come when Celia’s heart is basically destroyed. The Washing of the Water by Peter Gabriel captures that moment beautifully.

I’d have to say those tunes capture the vibe of the book perfectly. 

Speaking of Celia, she is a nurse. In fact, all your characters are nurses. What’s going on with this? Do you envision a day when they will start a detective agency or something? Because I can’t picture Taran or Celia emptying bedpans. Also, Emme has the power to heal people. Shouldn’t she at least be an MD?

Excellent questions. Um, no. The girls will not have their own detective agency. Sorry if this disappoints all the die-hard mystery readers out there.

The girls are nurses because their creator is also one. I wanted to give them a profession I was familiar with and one where they could all realistically work near each other. Babies settle Celia’s beast. Therefore she is a labor and delivery nurse, as is Shayna. Women in labor everywhere would want someone like Shayna cheering them on. They’d also want someone like Celia to care and protect them during one of the most terrifying moments of their lives.

You’re right, Taran doesn’t empty bedpans. She works in the cardiac catherization lab which is more technical. Emme can heal wounds, but she can’t, however, cure diseases. She also couldn’t openly practice as a doctor without alerting humans of her power. As the most sensitive and caring of the sisters it’s only natural for her to work in hospice. While she can’t save those close to death, she is able to grant her patients a peaceful goodbye.

I hear that nurses work long shifts. Did you ever take your eye off an EKG and scribble down a story idea?

Heh, heh. My RN job is actually pretty intense. I’ve never written
anything at work aside from jotting down a few notes while on a break.

Now that’s dedication. How much writing do you do every day? Are you very disciplined? Or does your agent call you up screaming for the rest of the story?

I write any chance I get which is at the very minimum 6 hours a day,
Monday-Friday. I have a tendency to turn things in to my agent early―like
WAY early. My next novel is due December 15th and I just finished writing it. My agent, Nicole, and I usually do a few passes before I submit it to my editor, hence the need to get it done early so it’s in the best shape possible.

Do you eat anything while you write? Foie Gras? Anchovies? Chocolate bars?

I’m a picker so I usually try to have grapes on hand. My favorite though
is buttered popcorn sprinkled with chocolate-covered raisins.

Do you have a special outfit you wear when you sit down to write? Like a superhero costume?

My favorite thing to wear when I write is my pajamas. But I actually do
have a cape on hand for writing emergencies.

If this book was a movie, would it be rated G, PG, PG-13, R, or something else I’m not familiar with?

Somewhere between PG-13 and R. If it were on TV it would definitely
belong on cable. *tap, tap, tap* You hear that HBO / Showtime?

Well, let’s hope some network person out there is listening.

 Thanks for coming, Cecy. All your promotional information is posted below.

Thank you, Joe. It’s been a pleasure being here.

Anyone who leaves a comment on this blog and also “likes” Cecy’s Facebook page will automatically be entered for a chance to win a free Weird Girls gift pack. I won’t tell you what’s in it, but it could be a new Cadillac – or it might even be a water bottle, a magnet and some lip balm. Leave a comment, hit the LIKE button, and you might find out.

But if you really want to do something useful, preorder the books at http://www.cecyrobson.com.  DO IT NOW! You can also find Cecy’s bio and a ton of other information there.

THE WEIRD GIRLS: A Novella, Dec. 4th, 2012
SEALED WITH A CURSE: A Weird Girls Novel, Dec. 31st, 2012
A CURSED EMBRACE: A Weird Girls Novel, July 2, 2013
Published with Penguin’s SIGNET ECLIPSE

cecyrobson.com
facebook.com/Cecy.Robson.Author
twitter.com/cecyrobson

“ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?”

Wait, that’s not true. I also saw Kill Bill. What year was that? Is Bill dead yet? Yes, he died at the end of Kill Bill Volume 2. SPOILER ALERT! Oh damn, I probably should have put that in front of the spoiler, right? I told you this wasn’t going to work out.

For the record, kids, there is no Santa Claus and I shot the Easter bunny. But we’ll talk about that another time.

Anyway, the last book I read was Cecy Robson’s novella, “The Weird Girls.” I’ll be interviewing Cecy here on Thursday, so you can hear all about it then. I also recently read Christopher Moore’s latest novel, “Sacre Bleu,” which is a dazzling display of comic ingenuity that’s typical of his style – but I generally don’t read enough new books because there are so many old books I haven’t gotten to yet. Maybe I’ll create the “Ye Olde Book Blog” or something like that. But what will my hip, modern sponsors say?

Let me call them and ask:

Ring! Ring!
“Hello?”
“Yeah, is this Joe? Are you the sponsor for the Happy Joe blog?”
“Yeah, this is Joe.”
“Hey, this is Joe, too. Well, it looks like we’re the same person. So what do you think we should do?”
“Whatever you want to do is fine with me.”

Okay, that went real well. Of course, I’m not sure what we decided. I’ll try to find out later.

Anyway, this leaves the issue of music. So I decided to start listening to college radio again, thinking it will get me in touch with some trendy new underground stuff. I turned on WRSU, and they were playing Taylor Swift, which I can hear on any lame pop station, followed by The Mamas & The Papas singing “California Dreaming,” which was recorded right about the time John Phillip Sousa fell off his wooly mammoth. So that wasn’t too successful.

I tend to think I don’t want to do a “music blog,” anyway. WhiIe I do listen to some new music, I hate the whole “music blog thing” where idiots with inflatable girlfriends spend hours at a time arguing about whether “Pearl Jam” was a better band than “Fishbone” before heading to a porno site to jerk off.

I’m only interested in writing about stuff I like. I’ll leave the snarky comments to the spectating snipers, who are very good at judging what others do while doing nothing themselves.

Speaking of someone who is doing something, come back Thursday to hear from Cecy and her “Weird Girls.” I’m not going to say Cecy is actually a witch with awesome power, but I will say that if you don’t return you might just find yourself turned into a sausage. If you’re already a sausage, you will be turned into a soy product.