Happy * Ness

A fortnight

2014-01-25T20:53:00.001-08:00

Images from the past two weeks...

drift wood fence!

Brynn is the sweetest most delightful baby ever!

back to back

camouflage

painting fun

pretty proud of herself

Spot the blue heron!

My work (moksha yoga)

spring is here!

FULL moon

I've been running this trail every day!

I like to paint during nap time sometimes

purple sprouts

Poor sick Minnow

This is how they passed out

Bathroom Update

2014-01-22T15:18:00.001-08:00

As you may know (especially if you follow me on pinterest!) I am kind of obsessed with home decorating. I've been really inspired by rustic decor with a lot of influence from nature. My goal is to make my home feel like alive- with plants, rocks, feathers, flowers, herbs, bark, driftwood... pretty much anything I can collect from nature. I like the energy of eclectic, bohemian homes full of treasures and greenery. Like maybe there is a witch living there making potions from her herbs in the backyard. Like there may be magic breathing within the walls...

I feel a very spiritual connection with nature. I feel like paganism describes my philosophy on life pretty well. The worship of nature. The elements. The spirit. It's all connected. I think it's because I feel so content and at home in the wilderness, I want to bring that feeling inside. I spend hours outdoors every single day with my daughter- rain or shine. At night I get excited to go to sleep because that means I'm closer to going outside again. I am drawn to the forest, the beaches, the mountains. I run around the woods near my house as fast as I can feeling free. Even just spending time puttering around my garden fills me with complete bliss. I'm excited to continue on these home projects this year! With every little improvement our home evolves into our dream home <3

So far we have made a few adjustments to our bathroom. This is what it looked like before:

In our old home the brown curtain matched the floor and the walls better. And honestly, I got tired of brown and wanted to keep the bathroom light and airy so we changed the shower curtain, bathmat and towels, and added more bamboo and my new air plants (which are the coolest plants since the don't require soil to grow!). Check it out!

I also updated our shower organizer from a rusty metal one that hung on the shower head to the white corner shelf with more storage. It was an awkward fit at first, Josh had to saw one rod in half to make it fit properly but it really opens up the shower and gives us each a self.

My shelf.

Air plant babies!

I'd love to put a pretty beta fish in with the bamboo, still on the hunt for the perfect little window tank.

We also added his shelf above the door for extra storage!

You Grow Girl!

2014-01-07T13:24:00.000-08:00

I'm currently planning my planting schedule for this year's garden!!

I'm thinking...

more wild flowers everywhere,
at least 12 hanging plants inside in every room,
more succulents
more select vegtables and herbs that we actually will use (so excited to use my dehydrator on and stock up on fresh herbs!)
we want to build a trellis around part of our deck for some shade/privacy

Luckily spring is only a few months away for us on the west coast. But my seedlings will be starting inside within the next couple weeks, and then we'll move them to our greenhouse outside!!

Yay!

I got into gardening when I was prenant with Kaleia. At our old (and I mean OLD) house before we moved to currrent home. Josh enclosed our side deck and we made it our garden, sadly we had to move out months later. Here are some of of happy green memories from that old home....

I miss that greenhouse. But I LOVE our new home. We actually have a yard now, and a deck! Rather than a mud hole with abandon appliances in it. Win! We expanded our garden and into one that actually FED us! And I mean, come on... look how gorgeous it is!

This was just a lawn before we got to it!

This corner of our yard hopefully will have something fun for the kids set up!

We're going to enclose this side deck for our kitties to live, I am so sick of cat hair and litter box smell.

The table and chairs are gone now. We'd like to build the trellis here.

My little garden pixie <3

So many gatherings!

The sads.

2014-01-03T22:48:00.001-08:00

I wrote this at the beginning of December, but didn't post it for the same reason I always remove negative posts- I want to be known as Happy NESS not sad ness... But as I reread it, I felt like sharing. I am an open book, but I try to chose wisely who I show my weakness to. But at the end of the day I'd rather maybe have the chance to inspire even one person who's having a sad day. Like the countless blog goddesses that inspire me daily have done for me.....

As much as I try to formulate my own happiness by following my bliss, I seem to be carrying a heavy heart lately despite all the holiday cheer surrounding me. All the yoga, clean eating, job loving and general life amazingness is failing to stop the loneliness consuming my smile these past few weeks.

I know this happens every year during the winter, no matter how much I LOVE winter. I take my vitamin D, I work out even more than in the summer. I stay away from partying and get lots of sleep. Yet somehow, the inky darkness of despair still stains the edges my bright and sunny day. I am having trouble admitting defeat. I am better than this. I can beat this. And I do, for long moments of joy and contentment. But that deep pit in my stomach is still there luring me like a siren into wallowing. Over the years I have gotten pretty good at distracting myself from the gloom with cheerful optimism and my favourite things (I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel so bad!). And with my daughter in my life, it's easy to be happy and fulfilled. She is my most favourite thing. But there STILL is this part of me that is just for no reason...sad. It's the curse of being compassionate and empathetic. Too passionate and soft hearted to the point of absorbing the worries and pain of the world. Easy to tears. Heart strings open for the plucking.

I try to not get too personal on the internet. I despise airing my dirty laundry in public. I believe in spreading positivity and light; the world has enough darkness. But there's something darkly inspiring about melancholy that lets the word pour out. And honestly sometimes I just want to tell someone.

Resolutions for 2014

2014-01-02T14:44:00.001-08:00

I am a big fan of making list and goals. So I welcome to opportunity to reflect on ways to better ones self come new years! It's a great way to stay focused on what's important and it gives you a chance to sit down and think about what you want to do with your year. So here goes!

Fix up bike and ride it to work! I only live 2 kilometers from my job and most of the time I drive. Since it's downtown I have to worry about parking, and have gotten my fair share of tickets. I've tried to run there and back, but managed to get motivated only a handful of times. I think I would be more inclined to get on a bike then to push myself to run. Running is fun and I love it, I just have to be in the right mood to enjoy it. Before I got my license I biked EVERYWHERE! I love it. I don't know why I don't anymore! It's fun, no petrol or parking needed, and keeps your legs and but nice and toned. Win win win! Now I just need to clean 2 years of rust off of it, and maybe replace the chain.... any tips on bike sprucing ups?
Continue my daily yoga practice. I find I make this resolution every year, and I have been getting better at keeping it over the years. I find with daily yoga I am more calm, centered, less reactive, and generally happier. Yoga one of my greatest loves so it's easy to make time for it :) I am so excited to get to go to Mexico in April for my first ever YOGA RETREAT!! I love that it's an exercising holiday, not a getting wasted on the beach holiday. Totally up my ally!
Finish my home projects list! Josh and I have decided to give our home an extreme makeover-home edition. I am thrilled to have these fun DIY projects to share with my love. It'll be a great way for us to hang out with out the ever present technology disrupting us. It's fun working together towards goals. I can't wait to share the before and afters on this blog!
Cut down on wine consumption. This may sound easy for some, but not going to lie- I love me some vino. A glass of Malbec at the end of a hectic day has become some what of a habit which is discouraging. I'd rather it be a treat on the weekends, and save the money for my next resolution
Dress up more! Somewhere along the way I become one of those moms who lives in leggings and sweaters, who rarely blow-dries her hair. It doesn't help that most of my time is spent at home with the kids or working out. But I swear I really do have style! I am going to upgrade my wardrobe a bit and put in a little more effort, for no one else but me. I love simple, chic fashion with a touch of bohemian . Lots of black, white and grey with red or turquoise accents. I adore stripes and polka dots, and I only wear comfortable shoes. I'm excited to spruce things up a bit while staying comfy and functional for my crazy, always moving lifestyle.
Take more photos with my camera! This used to be so easy for me; I couldn't put it down. But since getting an iPhone my camera only gets brought out on special occasions- rarely! Time to change that.
Lastly, I want to go for more hikes and runs in the forest or along the beach! Even in winter this island I live on is breathtaking. I need to be out there more.

Happy New Year!
vx

To do:

2013-12-19T14:09:00.004-08:00

I panic sometimes when I realize all of the things I want to do, and how I can't even imagine when I would have time to do them. Mainly- DIYs. I have a HUGE list of home projects to tackle. Such as...

-Refinishing my table and chairs! I want to paint it all and re-upholster the chairs and add a cushion to the bench.

This is the table set we got for only $50! I think it would be a better project to do in the spring/summer out on the back deck.

I really love this finish. My favourite colour is black and I think the dark tones would be nice on the Gothic shape of our chairs. I just require the chairs to be water proof material since I have children (and me...) spilling daily.

-Build a bed platform for Kaleia's bed

With just enough space under for toy storage. I think we might do this one on the weekend!

-reorganize toy situation, closets, bookshelves, kitchen cabinets, and bathroom cabinet... pretty much everything is needing reorganizing (aside from my closet, which I did recently).

-make a head board

I kind of like the idea of having shelves behind so we wouldn't need bed side tables. They take up a lot of room. But not in white. Not sure what colour, maybe dove grey.

-make hanging planters for our bathroom. Also update shower curtain and bath mat.

There just isn't enough time in my day to complete these tasks! I spend my days playing/dancing/reading/adventureing with kids, making food, cleaning (always...), reading books, pinterest, and also trying to visit friends and go on adventures. My evenings are spent either working at Moksha or going to yoga at Moksha. Either way yoga is usually involved. Then family time with my Mr and Minnow. My days and nights are equally full of fun and basically all my favourite things. I can't complain- I have it pretty good. There are good days and challenging days. I just wish I had about 10 more hours in each day. That's not so much to ask is it? Then I would have more time for all my projects and maybe some more time for yoga and sleep :)

I feel so blessed to be able to live my life exactly how I chose. Surrounded by love and whimsy and full of laughter and light. This makes me happy when skies are grey.

Happy holidays
ness xo

Autumn

2013-12-12T10:14:00.004-08:00

I spent most of my autumn working with kids and at Moksha yoga. My few free hours were spent with my husband and daughter, at yoga, reading, on pinterest, watching movies, or hanging out with my sisters. I hibernated and regrouped after a dramatic and fun-filled summer. I needed a little distance from people, so I only surrounded myself with those who love me most. Plus my yoga family.

With the winter solstice approaching I am feeling ready to come back to the emotional roller coaster that comes with human friendships. But I am definitely a lot more picky about those I do let into my life and heart. Far too many mean girls I have no time for. Only real friends allowed please.

Here some pictures of my serene autumn days...

The new table and chairs I will be refurbishing (I got it all for $50!)


New Tattoo

messy nessy

her "tattoo"s

This Stitch stuffy is her best friend

Somebody learned to walk!

hair cut

This week I will strive to...

2013-12-01T13:21:00.003-08:00

-cook a new recipe everyday and bake at least once

-make a blogging schedule and stick to it

-take more pictures with cameras rather than my iphone

-daily yoga

-always practice patient and compassion

-talk less, listen more

-fill the winter dark hours with light and laughter and a touch of whimsy

-make every day memorable with Kaleia (making her smile is magic)

I like to make weekly goals to aim for. The aim is for progress not perfection <3

What are some of yours?

Today

2013-10-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up to a thick fog peppered with fiery autumn leaves, a chill in the air, and a less than desirable amount of sleep had the night before. I slept for maybe 5 good hours, which is the bare minimum I need to function but not optimal for peak Vanessa performance.

I scooped up my bebe Minnow and curled up to watch sesame street while I drunk my coffee and waited for the bebe Alex I care for to arrive. After breakfast I forced myself to get dressed in clothes that were not pajamas and brush my hair, kind of. I convinced my willful daughter to put clothes on, but she did not like having her hair done, so her pony tail was of the side/80's variety. I packed the kids in the car and met my friend and her son at the library for story time. The first 10 minutes was spent me chasing after Minnow as she tore all the books off the shelves, climbed chairs and ran at full speed towards the stairs. She found this hilarious.
The crowd of mothers and children filed into the basement meeting room, we found our chairs and waited. Children really do not like to wait. For anything. The difficult thing about having two children with you is that they tend to always want to go the opposite way as the other. Usually right when you sit down with one the other runs the other way. Maybe it's just those specific little monkeys...
The story time leader person came in and already Minnow was getting suspicious. She stayed on the outside of the group with a not-convinced frown. Meanwhile Alex happily bounced on my lap and giggled smiling at everyone like he was in his element. He fucking LOVES story time. Minnow on the other hand seemed embarrassed for everyone when we were singing the hello song or about our head and shoulders knees and toes (knees and toes!). This girl is 17 months old and already she's too cool for things! I think she already knows that she is cooler than me. By the end of class she had opened up a little and waited patiently in line with the other kids to get her pumpkin stamp on both her little fists.
The thing I realized today is, no matter who or what Kaleia Minnow becomes, I already am behind her completely and adore everything she does- even if it's it social awkwardness and arrogant shyness,
I'm like "Awww how cute, she's judging us. Awwww!"
I'm proud of her for everything she is, and only can hope to show her through my own actions about kindness and acceptance. Something that we all aren't born with, it is learnt. That's why kids can be such dicks sometimes, with NO filter. They need good examples of love and compassion.
After getting the kids home and feeding them lunch I put them down for their naps and relished in the sweet, sweet silence and drank my tea. I browsed furniture renos on pinterest, and looked on craigslist for a new kitchen table to transform.
After a while I heard a tiny little voice say "Muma?". Feeling rejouvinated and buzzing on green tea I went and collected my small child from our bed.
She looks me and says "Alex?"
I say "He's still sleeping"
She pats me "Muma"
Then herself "Daya" (that's how she says Kaleia).
Points to Kitties "Titties"

I seriously will never tire of her little voice. I always want to hear what she has to say (We already have inside jokes). :)
The rest of the afternoon was spent playing leaves at the park, or me pulling them in circles around our street in the wagon. When Alex got picked up I kissed my bebe and husband and jump in the car to go to work at Moksha Yoga.

I arrive to the serene and cozy studio and settle in. I make some green tea and answer emails and voicemails in the perfect in-between-classes quiet. I really savor these moments of tranquility. Tonight I worked with one of my new favourite people. We just became best friends I think. She's the kind of person I can already picture what our friendship will be like; lots of jokes and silliness but also comfort and genuine caring. I already adore her so much and she had me laughing all night. I am really enjoying my job at the studio that has been home to my yoga practice for 4 years. The best part is the amazing community. I get to chat with incredible, positive fun people all the time. It's rarely stressful and I always leave with a sense of purpose; feeling like I have somewhere I belong. Somewhere that will get me through the stormy weather- figuratively and metaphorically!

So now I sit at my iMac with a glass of Argentinian Malbec in a quiet and still home. I returned to my little family asleep without me, snuggled close and looking adorable. I'm still on GO mode, but slowly fading. The buzz of caffine slowing behind heavy lidded wine eyes. Reflecting on a perfectly average day. Utterly exhausted but completely fulfilled. Story of my life.

Goodnight

NESSting

2013-10-15T14:13:00.001-07:00

This weekend I got these lovely mirrors for our mantel. I ADORE them. That room doesn't have a light so it's nice to have the brightness of the kitchen reflected back. Plus every time I walk by I can check on the status of my bangs :D Score one for me!

Point No Point

2013-10-09T13:36:00.001-07:00

This past September Josh and I celebrated the anniversary of the day we moved in together 6 years ago. The following week would be 2 years since our wedding day. We celebrated our life together at the most romantic place Point No Point resort, only an hour and a half away from our home. With completely private cabin and misty oceany views we had nothing to do but relax with each other.
My heart came home full and happy.

I loved that the cabin had no tv. But they did supply lots of magazines, books, an iPod doc, Scrabble, cards and cribbage.

I could stare at the ocean for days on end and not tire of it.

the best

the one streaky window was driving him nuts

Seals!

my favourite

goat's cheese and wine....ahhh take me back!

almost says Kaleia!

Summer Sum Up Series 6: Poet's Cove

2013-10-09T11:24:00.001-07:00

Summer Sum Up Series 5: Beaches/Adventures/Random Photos

2013-10-08T14:57:00.002-07:00

best book

new ink

the running trail I frequent

new buddah earrings from my sister

Date Night

Summer Sum Up Series 4: Gatherings

2013-10-08T14:26:00.003-07:00

My 10yr high school reunion!

Summer Sum Up Series 3: Summer with Kaleia Minnow and the Kidlets

2013-10-07T15:28:00.003-07:00

They have the same lips

She went through a "rub everything on your face" phase

peekaboo!

Summer Sum Up Series 2: Rock the Shores Music Festival

2013-10-07T13:30:00.002-07:00

Weezer!!

My bff/wife and I with the lead singer of Mother Mother

Summer Sum Up Series 1: Camping

2013-10-07T12:58:00.000-07:00

This week I intend to make up for all the missed posts over summer! I was crazy busy having adventures and took a TON of pictures. So enjoy!

CAMPING!

The Middle

2013-07-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

Today I was feeling pretty down. I'm a bridesmaid in one of my bestest friend's wedding next weekend, and I'm starting to feel low because I couldn't budget in the long list of things required to be a bridesmaid. And I seem to be the only one who can't afford all these luxuries. I was feeling like the other ladies were all gossiping about my poverty behind my back and feeling pretty sad for myself when this song came one and made me smile.

"The Middle"

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).

Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).

I've heard that song a million times, but today in that moment it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Long weekend fun in Vancouver and Parksville

2013-07-05T14:20:00.003-07:00

Waiting for our bus

On the ferry

pretty brenna

PARKSVILLE

Dad's backyard

Kaleia and Grampa

June

2013-07-04T12:31:00.001-07:00

May

2013-06-18T11:56:00.001-07:00

Bebes in buns

2013-06-06T09:11:00.001-07:00

This was a rainy day where the girls and I (and Ike!) decided to be ballerinas for the day. I did all their hair in buns, we put tutus on and danced the day away. I tried to put a tutu on Ike, but he wasn't having it. But he did like the dancing :)

surrounded by women

We are the 5 best friends, that anyone could have!

2013-06-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of joining in on one of my bestie's stagette party in Vancouver.
It seriously was so much fun! I fell in love with all those girls, and now our love is blossoming into a pretty awesome wolf pack. I knew most of them for a while, and have loved them forever, but it was nice getting to know another amazing woman who I know I will love forever too.

Can not WAIT for Andrea's wedding! Here are some pics of our crazy adventures;

(posted a couple weeks late)

Into the Wild

2013-05-23T08:51:00.001-07:00

Camping. Is there anything better? Aside from having a farm and living deep in nature- that's the ultimate dream. Until then we'll have to spend weekends camping.

I loved that there was zero internet or cell phone reception. Not having my iPhone or J's computer to check every other minute enabled me and J to really reconnect and kind of fall in love all over again, while Minnow was safety tucked in at her Gramma's. We needed this. A night alone together in the woods did wonders for our marriage. It's so easy to let the the endless tasks and chores of parenthood scrape away at the romance of a marriage. I think it is very important to still make couple time, away from the beloved child. I believe it's good for the child to create a bond with someone other than their parents. I want her to grow up being independent and self reliant so when I'm not around she can function. Although it's nice to feel needed as a mother, I'm so proud of her easy going ways. I also love the relationship she has with her Gramma. Some of my best childhood memories were at my grandparents house.

Some woman would scoff at me for leaving my child, like being a good mother means coddling your child and never letting them out of your sight. But I think it's important to have a life outside of motherhood. Just for my own sanity. I love my bebe endlessly, but that doesn't mean I don't have my own interest and hobbies. I am still my own person.

My mother once gave me this advice "Put your marriage first, they're the one you're going to be with once your kids have grown and left the house. And having a good marriage can only benefit the child". I like to think I put my family first, husband AND child. But I can see what she's saying.

Even though she was all we could talk about and I really couldn't wait to pick her up. It sure was nice to come home to her and see her get excited to be back with her Mum Mum and Dada.
I came home feeling refreshed and excited about future camping. We plan to take our little pixie with us next time, we both know she will love it.

legs of love

car bed

meet oliver

Bromance

photo bomber

Good night sweet heart..

2013-05-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

To my sweet bebe Minnow,

As the sun sets later and later in the day, I find my self rocking you to sleep as the last, lazy rays of sunshine filter through your windows. I marvel at how much you've grown; gone are my tiny baby days with you. It is a pleasure to watch your journey through life's milestones. You have so many condensed milestones in these first few years, each more delightful than the last. I feel so blessed to be able to be there with you through them.

You meet each new challenge with fierce determination and bravery. Although your adrenaline junkie ways makes my mother's heart clench with worry, I admire your lack of fear. You are teaching me to be more fearless. If ever you do fall, I will always be close behind ready to scoop you into my arms and let you know how precious you are.

My life's work will be making your life whimsical and inspiring your imagination.
We will explore the woods, oceans and mountains together. Running wild and howling at the moon. We will build mud castles while wearing fairy wings.
We will dance each chance we get. Your music knowledge will be immense.
We will make friends with every animal we encounter- an ability you have already mastered.
I will try everyday to make you smile.
And most importantly, I promise to let you grow into whoever it is you are meant to be.
Without judgement; just love.

I look down at your sleeping face and trace the lines of your ears, as my mother once did to bebe me. All at once brought into a moment, so simple, yet so powerful it makes me catch my breath. You awaken such powerful emotions from within me. Now I place you down to sleep, in the tent in your room (you prefer the tent to the crib, I don't blame you. The tent is pretty bad-ass). I whisper that I love you and image what it will sound like when you can say "I love you too".

Good night my wild-haired pixie child,
I love you to the moon and back

Love Mum mum
xo