Happy warm feelings

Scary Ghost Story

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 21:19:00 +0000

Ever heard of the gal who wanted to be cremated with her handphone?

This is a true story of a young JC gal who past away last month in Singapore. Her name is Priya. She was hit by a lorry. I don't wanna mention the name of the JC. She had a boy friend by the name of Shankar. He stays in Penang. Both of them were deeply in love with each other. They used to spend hours talking on the phone. In fact, u can never see her without her handphone.

She spends 3/4 of the day talking to Shankar. Priya's family knows about their close relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (Just imagine their love) . She used to joke with her frens, "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone." She also repeated the same thing to her parents.

When she passed away suddenly, the funeral procession could not lift her coffin. I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called their neighbour, a "bomoh" from Thailand (Pak Darin), who was a fren of her father.

He took a seat and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "This girl misses something here". Then her frens told Darin bout her intentions to have her cremated with her phone. He then opened the coffin and place her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked. (Can u feel the fear. i'm shaking at this moment!)

Priya's parents didnt inform Shankar that Priya had passed away. (Pity Shankar). After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.

Shankar : "Atte, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Dont tell Priya that i'm coming home today. i wanna suprise her."

Her mother replied: "You come home first, i wanna tell u something very important."

When he got to Singapore, they told him the truth about Priya.

Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "Dont try to fool me. Tell Priya to come out. i have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense". Then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat).

He said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me."

Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, shankar's phone rang.

"See this is from Priya. See this..." he showed the phone to priya's family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation loud and clear. No cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her simcard since it was placed inside the coffin before cremation. They were so shocked and asked for Pak Darin's help again. Pak Darin brought his master (Tok Chen) to solve this matter. He & Darin worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing...

Singtel Mobile has the best coverage.

Buddhism and zen jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:26:00 +0000

Q: What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.

Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they are the light bulb.

Q: Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
A: Because they have no attachments.

Q: How many wives does Buddhism allow?
A: You may have as many as your tolerance for misery can bear.

Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with?
A: He enters Nerdvana.

check out this link lol

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 07:17:00 +0000

http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf

Banta Singh talks to bill gates about his new computer problems

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 09 May 2010 07:11:00 +0000

Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr Bill Gates of Microsoft

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr.. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only..

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS.

LIFE

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 09 May 2010 07:08:00 +0000

* Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.

* The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.

* If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.

* If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.

* Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.

* You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.

* Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

* Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.

* If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.

* Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.

* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

* Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything

* There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.

* Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

* All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.

* Change your thoughts and you change your world.

* Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.

* The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.

* Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.

What is LOVE ?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 09 May 2010 07:07:00 +0000

*What is Love???*

A group of 4 to 8 year-old Children were asked, "What does love mean?" The answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

--"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday" (Tina - age 7)

--"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." (Clare - Age 5)

--"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." (Rebecca - age 8 )

--"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." (Chrissy - age 6 )

--"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." (Terri - age 4 )

--"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." (Danny - age 7)

--"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." (Tommy - age 6 )

--"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. That's love" (Cindy -age 8)

--"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." (Elaine - age 5)

--"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." (Mary Ann - age 4 )

Love............

is not only made for lovers....... its also for parents,brothers and sisters, friends and almost for everyone...
who sometimes luv each other better than a lover .

Smile and spread some love plzzz

Male Teen has his first sex, Dad is Proud

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 06 May 2010 00:38:00 +0000

A couple were sitting up waiting for their 16 year old son to come home from a social engagement when the boy came into the house with a big smile on his face.

"Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad! He said breathlessly. "Guess what! I've just had sex for the first time, and it was wonderful!"

His mother turned red and said to her husband, "He's your son. You talk to him".

Then she left the room.

The father said "Son, that's great. Now you've become a man and I'm proud of you. I'm going to celebrate the occasion by buying you that ten-speed bike you've been wanting. I hope you don't mind waiting till payday to get the bike."

"That's OK, Dad", said the boy. "I couldn't ride it right now anyway, my ass is too sore".

Priest OFF video

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 11:50:00 +0000

GOOD NEWS !!

The sexual abuse of children by ordained clergy can now be easily combated by using this simple spray repellent.

Sometimes its best to not know.....

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 07:02:00 +0000

My stomach hurts

A man with a bad stomach ache goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep into the rectum.

The man agrees and the doctor tells him to bend over, and shoves the thing way up his behind. The doctor then hands him the second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours time using rubber gloves and KY-Jelly or something.

So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth. Thus, he calls his wife over and tells her what to do. The wife nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home.

Suddenly the man screams in disgust.

"What's the matter hun?" asked his wife. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," replies the man, "but I just realized that when the doctor did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders."

Which general has the toughest man ??

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 07:01:00 +0000

A Marine general, a Commando general and a Navy Admiral were discussing who had the toughest men.

The Marine general says:: Alright, I'll prove the marines have the toughest men in this country. Private, get over here!
The marine private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"

The marine general says:: See that man over there? Kill him!
Without hesitating, the private takes aim with his M-16 and kills the man.
The marine general says:: See? That man has balls!

The Commando general says:: That's nothing. Private, get over here!
The Commando private reports, "Yes, sir?"
The commando general says":: See that man over there? Kill him and then kill yourself.

Without blinking, the commando private pulls out his Samurai Sword and chops the guy into 2, then cuts off his own dick, dying slowly in a spray of blood.
The commando general says:: See? Now that man has balls!

The Navy Admiral says:: That's nothing.
He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump off that tower!"

The seaman answers:: Excuse me, sir?
The admiral repeats:: JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!
The seaman replies:: FUCK YOU, MOTHER CB, YOU THINK I NO BRAIN ISSIT ?
The admiral says:: "See? That man has balls and he's got brains too!"

Teacher Teacher..

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 01:45:00 +0000

The teacher walked into the classroom to find the word "penis" chalked in small letters on the board. She was a bit embarrassed, so she didn't say anything, but rubbed it out and went on with the class. But the next day when she came in, she found the same thing again - "penis", this time written slightly larger.

So she rubbed it out again, and went on with the lesson. Again next day, in larger letters, there was the word "penis" again. With a red face she rubbed it out and went on with the lesson. Well, this went on for a whole week, every day the word penis getting bigger. Finally, on Friday she went into the classroom to find chalked up:

"See, the harder you rub it, the bigger it gets!"

Wolrd's greatest snooker player gets married

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 15:06:00 +0000

Steve Davis, the world champion snooker player, got married and it was the first night of his honeymoon. His beautiful wife lay spread across the bed wearing only a scanty silken black nightdress.

Presently Steve came out of the bathroom totally naked with a long stiff erection and walked slowly to the foot of the bed. He didn't utter a sound but simply stood there looking at her and chalking the end of his erect penis.

This went on for over ten minutes, the only movement being the slow rhythmic chalking of the tip of his penis and the movement of his head from side to side as he stared at her lying on the bed. Eventually, moist with excitement and shaking with anticipation she tore off her night dress and slowly spread her legs wide open waiting for him to take her.

Steve simply raised his eyebrows, cocked his head to the side and continued to slowly stroke the soft chalk across the glistening, throbbing penis as he stared intensely at the pleasures he saw between her outspread legs. It was too much for her to stand, writhing in an agony of expectation and frustration she screamed out, "For God's sake what are you waiting for?"

Steve gently stroked the chalk across his throbbing penis, blew the loose chalk off its end, smiled and looking even more closely between her smooth thighs quietly told her, "I'm trying to decide whether to go for the tight brown or the easy pink."

Time for some parent meetings

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 15:02:00 +0000

The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living.

One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer.

When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said, "My mom's a sexy whore!"

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned.

So the teacher asked, "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?"

Johnny said, "Yes."

"Well, what did the principal say?"

"He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me an apple and asked for my phone number!"

Not everything appears as it seems

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 15:01:00 +0000

There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful.

His brother on the other hand was bad and did all the things that men should not do in life and didn't care who he hurt.

The bad brother died. He was still missed by his brother since he loved him despite his ways.

Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there, and he was very happy.

One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn't seen him there.

God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead.

The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother.

So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother.

He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other.

Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with you.

It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don't understand - if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment".

God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son.

The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."

LOBO - I'd Love You To Want Me

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 12:08:00 +0000

Mail Order Brides

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 12:06:00 +0000

A poor 3rd world-country woman was going to marry one of those guys that wants a foreign virgin bride. Since she was not, she went to a doctor to reconstruct her hymen. The doctor told her that would cost around $500, but there was another way that will cost only $50.

The woman agreed to try the cheap way, paid the money, and the doctor worked on her for several minutes.

After the "first night", the woman came back to the doctor and told him that it was perfect. The pain, the blood, everything was there. She asked him how he did it.

"I tied your pubic hair together," he answered.

The reason why Vikings are extinct

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 13:47:00 +0000

VIKING WOMAN

Did you save the bookmark ?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 13:45:00 +0000

Necessary Qualities to be a Top Investment Banker

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 13:48:00 +0000

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad
news, the donkey died.’

Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’

The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’

Chuck said, ‘OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’

The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with him?

Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’

The farmer said ‘You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’

Chuck said, ‘Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘What happened
with that dead donkey?’

Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars
apiece and made a profit of $898.00.’

The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’

Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.’

Chuck now works for an investment bank....trying to sell YOU his products !!

China latest home gimmick - Buy 1 house, Get 1 Balcony Free.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 05:17:00 +0000

Buy 1 house, Get 1 Balcony Free.

'ROPE LADDER' and ' INSURANCE' not included

Speed learning chinese language

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 05:14:00 +0000

Here are some easy sentences to learn chinese in 5 minutes..Read Out Loud for maximum effect !

Latest news about Jack Neo scandal with Photograph !??

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:55:00 +0000

Just joking mr. jack neo...if you want me to take down the photo just contact me...

How to detect fake orgasms !

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:39:00 +0000

Whether a woman fakes her orgasms or not is something the majority of men would rather not question. This is in case they discovered that she has been faking it all along, and that they are not, in fact, the stud they thought women go wild for. Rather, they are a pathetic creature with a problem, who needs to be patronized.

For those of you who would prefer not to ask her, but would still like to know, there is a simple checklist to help you.

1. In the middle of lovemaking, and just before the moment it sounds as though she is about to have an orgasm, stop and take away the magazine she's been looking at. If she says, "Dammit, I was reading that!" she was faking.

2. If her panting, groaning and screaming are in tune to whatever is showing on her iPod Playlist, she can't be concentrating enough on the "job at hand," and must therefore be faking it. Or else she really likes those songs playing on her iPod.

3. A rule of thumb, which is usually very accurate, is: stop at random and record her response. If every time you stop she says, "Mmmmm, you were wonderful, baby," she is faking it. If she says, "Don't stop!" she isn't. However, if she says "Don't stop!" hours after lovemaking has finished, it is possible that she may have fallen asleep, and missed most of the excitement.

Remember these guidelines for future reference

Message to my readers

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:15:00 +0000

-
To my Dear, Precious readers who dared to tick the 'boring' reaction.
-
Hopefully you will like this special picture...just for you

Ideal dating partner

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:05:00 +0000