Happy XoKoTo

Life at this moment on parenting teens

2021-02-26T11:45:00.008+08:00

There's so much to rant about... after all it's been soooooo long. Life's been rather boring which is why I can be sitting here typing out this post. Oh well, and that also means that Life's been real EXCITING the whole period when I'm missing from this space, isn't it? It's a predicament and I just didn't know what I'm talking. PLEASE IGNORE.

Let's talk about the children. They have grown. One is in JC2 and the other in Secondary 3. The elder one is very much in her own world and own space. She's extremely busy and miserable with her studies. Life sucks for her. I feel. Once a week, she finishes school at 7pm - later than the working adults. Thrice a week, she finishes school at 6pm and that leaves only one day when she can come home before dark. Everyday, she would fall asleep on her tasks, simply exhausted from the day's event.

As for the younger one, he is still the happy-go-lucky who never thinks ahead (even few moments ahead) - not to mention his future. Always carefree and very much into his games and social media. Ever since I lost control over his mobile phone usage, he's been constantly on his devices. Even while he is doing homework, he will be plugged on to music. I have to nag every day and I HATE IT. Life sucks. FOR ME. Although he managed to get into the Integrated Program in Sec 3 through his own means, his laid-back attitude still worries me. A LOT. I tried to talk sense to him but failed. Every word that came out of my mouth became nagging. So I resorted to sending him messages through WhatsApp. Ok, this is what I call "Parenting in the new age"! One of the messages looks like this:

How's that?

And guess what?

He only read the last sentence in bold and in CAPS : "Play can wait, Learning can't"

OMG!!!

To whoever is reading this, if you have any good parenting tips on how to transform naggings into constructive feedback that rebellious teens will listen to, please leave a comment. Hahahah... LOL.

Thank you very much!

Lazy Mum's Kitchen (my cooking during CB)

2020-05-21T18:23:00.000+08:00

I am no doubt a lazy mum. So I am going to post all the picture-worthy photos of my cooking all in one post. I'd let the pictures do the talking...

Lazy Mum's Kitchen (Baked Chicken Chop)

2020-04-19T12:05:00.002+08:00

As promised, here comes my first dish for Lazy Mum's Kitchen series!
TA-DAaaa Baked Chicken Chop

I used chicken thighs and they turned out really juicy after being baked. The moist and tender chicken is really yummy. The marinate is the most crucial in this entire dish.

Here's my secret recipe for this marinate:
2 tbsp Oyster Sauce
1 tbsp Light Soy Sauce
1 tbsp Sesame Oil
1 tsp Sugar
1 tbsp Hua Diao Jiu (Chinese Cooking Wine)
Pinch of Salt
Few dashes of Pepper
Some grated Garlic
Some grated Ginger

I used the above to marinate 4 pieces of small chicken thighs.
You may adjust the quantity/amount of each seasoning ingredient based on your preference and "agaration" BUT all the ingredient must be used to in order achieve that juicy and fragrant flavour!

After marinating the chicken thighs, it is important to keep them refrigerated for a few hours before baking.
Bake in oven for 210 degree celcius for 25 minutes, then turn the pieces over and bake for another 15 minutes at lower temperature (180-190 deg)

This dish goes with potato chunks (which can be marinated and baked together with the chicken thighs). Before that, marinate the potatoes with little salt and olive oil.

Finally, serve with slice tomatoes and cucumbers!

Enjoy!

Lazy Mum's Kitchen

2020-04-13T15:08:00.000+08:00

Singapore.

Day 7 of Circuit Breaker.

Covid-19 comes with a huge price tag. Economy breaks down and countries in lockdown. Here in SG, we called it Circuit Breaker (CB). It started on 7 April 2020. Suppose to end on 4 May 2020 but I guess it all depends on the Covid-19 situation then. Might drag longer if it's not under control.

Anyway, despite the pandemonium that the nasty coronavirus has created so far, we seem to be able to catch glimpses of the several silver linings. With international travels halted, worldwide motorcar traffic greatly reduced, the earth's carbon footprint has seen a glimpse of hope. Venice's heavily-polluted canals clear as tourist shy away due to Covid-19. Back in the family, it means there's "reunion" everyday for kids who missed seeing their busy parents who had always been in the office. There's more bonding perhaps (or more conflicts and arguments, I'm not very sure 😬), but still silver linings - conflicts and arguments lead to improved understanding!

And for lazy mum like me who seldom cook, this CB period has forced me to step into the kitchen every day, cracked my brains for cooking ideas, browsed through Youtube - videos after videos for cooking instructions and recipes... All because we are advised to Stay at Home. I'm all in for this measure - it's a necessity, no doubt it has come a bit too late. So obediently I adhere to government's advise. I've been diligently cooking every day, albeit simple dishes... Scrambling the Internet for "simple cooking", "easy recipes", "as easy as ABC meals"... 😃

Now I'm able to cook up some decent meals for the family, a few of which won some good accolades. And you know how praises can make someone proud and forget herself? Yes, I actually entertain myself with the idea of setting up a YouTube Channel called "Lazy Mum's Kitchen" ... Hahaha, as if I'm a pro and I got lots of recipes to share...

But then... Yes, I'm going to share some recipes here, only here... Not on YouTube la...

So watch this space for my Lazy Mum's Kitchen series! Here are some photo previews to whet your appetite... Hahaha 🤣

Mummies blogs that used to be active are now dead

2020-03-04T16:48:00.000+08:00

I looked back on my blog's reading list... not a single blog survived the harsh reality of life -- mother's life. We used to be so enthusiastic about creating a blog that document the growth of our little babies who had just popped. Our hearts melt at their most innocent smiles and resolute that we must create a blog that record their every firsts...

As much as we wanted to do so... Alas!
We only manage to do it for the first 12 years at most ... until they grew their wings and flap into their own arena, away from parenting grasp...
Why?

They are no longer cute
They no longer melt our hearts,
only wrench our hearts

They have their own space
own circle of friends
They no longer need us

So we lost the inspiration to write
Nothing to document
Nothing to record

If any, there is only
rambles, grumbles, complaints...

Mother's life... or I would say a parent's life.
Do you beg to differ?

PSLE'S over

2018-10-03T13:02:00.000+08:00

The long and much-awaited day has finally arrived.

HOORAY!
JK's PSLE is over!

Everything came to a halt after the PSLE Oral started on 16 Aug ... all the way till today.

Everything as in all minor and major house work or personal work... yes, everything was put on hold so as to avoid any disruptions to PSLE.

Tim and I had to revise. We had to revise to teach JK, who basically did not do anything. All his revision were done with us, who painstakingly went through all his files and worksheets, sieved out the important points to teach him.

Important points were repeatedly drilled into him but it was always one ear in, the other ear out. The days were bad.

I'm glad they are finally over.

However bad he may score for his PSLE, we are just glad that we have done more than our part for him and shall live with no regrets.

Congratulations to Kai for the completion of his first milestone in education.

Almost a year

2018-06-14T23:07:00.001+08:00

When blog posts are one year apart, you can officially declare the blog dead.

Have not been logging in for a year!!! Occasionally hop in to reminisce some old photos...

What have I been doing? Recently, I was into doing pencil portraits. Now, finding black and white a bit boring and expanding interest into watercolour portraits. I'm selling cutomised portrait drawing on Carousell and have an instagram page dedicated to my artwork : tin.portraits ;)

What about the kids -- no, they are 2 big monsters! They are both growing adolescents, with their own mind and thinking, egoistic and stubborn. They argue and fight, scratch and kick... in the house, in the car... every where. When are they ever done? When will they ever call quits?

Xuan is very much into watching dramas on her Ipad while Kai is addicted to hp games like Clash Royal. Xuan is more committed to her St John's CCA than her studies while Kai is only committed to playing and outings. Come this September, he'd be sitting for his PSLE yet he is not the least motivated. He really got on my nerves every day. I struggled to discipline him -- he is now beyond my control.

Sigh. Well, I guess this sort of sums up my current life predicament. And it speaks a lot about my lapse in writing posts - cos' there's really nothing happy to write about.

问题の家

2017-06-24T16:29:00.000+08:00

Everyone's home.
It was our usual Saturday movie night at home.

Xuan was scratching her head and face as usual, while watching the show. I shall not go into details her bad habit.

Kai was sobbing and depressing over his inability to defeat Titan (Shadow Fight 2). He has been asking me to help him defeat Titan by hook or by crook, by hacking the game or by hiring an expert... He MUST defeat Titan before his birthday. This boy is crazy.

Finally, Andy Lau's "拆弹专家" was over and I had to go to the kitchen to throw some rubbish.
The kitchen was pitch dark. I envisioned a vicious lizard hiding in there, ready to spring out to scare me if I ever stepped in. So, standing at entrance of the kitchen, I threw a rolled-up plastic onto the counter top without stepping a foot in it.

All these were amusing.
Especially to someone who does not have these weird problems.

So the hb remarked, "每个人都有问题"

And so I coined 问题の家

My Great Helper: iLife 5vs Pro Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

2017-05-13T10:52:00.000+08:00

Life just got busier ever since we have shifted in. Other than chauffeuring, I have lots of cleaning to do around the house leaving no time to fulfill my "chef" role. Maybe that is a blessing to the members of the family cos' my cooking really cannot make it...

Anyway, cleaning alone takes up a lot of time, leaving me with no rest at all. I engage a weekly part-time helper but on days without her, the floor gets really dusty and sticky. So the second iLife robotic cleaner really helps to relieve the cleaning of floors on other days. I bought an irobot at first, paying more than $700 for it. But one is not enough, so I bought an iLife 5vs pro on Lazada for a quarter of what I paid for irobot. I had thought that it would be much inferior compared to irobot for the price I paid, but to my surprise I find it much better than irobot! Can you believe it?

I just couldn't help but compare the two!
Firstly, iLife 5vs pro not only vacuums but does mopping as well and It is so much quieter compared to irobot. It comes with two spinning brushes at the bottom instead of one in irobot, and cleans up dust more effectively. The only con is that it does not come with a handle to be carried around with one hand, other than that, whatever feature you find in irobot, you can find it in Ilife 5vs pro!

I seldom review or compare products, but when I do, that thing must have really been worth it...

First in class

2017-03-01T09:38:00.001+08:00

I never expect myself to be present in any prize-giving ceremony since Xuan left primary school.

Few days ago, we got the privilege again, to be among the audience of proud parents to applaud the achievements of our teens on stage. Xuan. First in class. NYGH.

Kai and learning

2017-03-01T09:32:00.001+08:00

I was reading my previous posts about Xuan's PSLE and it suddenly dawned on me how things are going to be so scary next year...

2018. Kai's turn to take PSLE. I don't think he is ready. He's not ready to be segregated into good and bad schools by the examination system next year. He's a boy. He's a late bloomer. He's got ADHD.

But. Face it. He still has to take the examination, like it or not, ready or not. This year P5 is going to be a tough year. Already he has failed his HCL class test and did badly for others in an attempt to prove the theory that "P5 is a big jump from P4" right.

His attitude in learning is what worries me. I am always improvising ways to motivate him in learning. Now, the latest gimmick is about "earning time" to play his Shadow Fight game on weekends. There is a list of the various work which can earn him different amount of time for play. On weekdays after school, he is able to earn and accumulate time by doing work (sch hw, tuition hw, revision, assessment, test papers, etc), then he gets to play the amount of time he accumulated on weekends. That's how the plan works. There's an inventory record of work done and time earned, time used and balance to carry forward if any. It didn't work very well at first and there were many tweaks and adjustments made along the way. He is now even able to earn time for packing his bag properly and penalised if not...

I wonder who in P5 still needs this kind of childish gimmick in order to learn. This kind of motivation to learn is not self-driven and will not achieve the same result as a child who genuinely wishes to learn and succeed. Sad to say, it is only PLAY that motivates him to LEARN.

We have finally shifted in...

2017-02-19T20:32:00.001+08:00

On Christmas Eve 24 December 2016, that was last year...

How time flies.
We are now in 2017.
And today is the 7th day of the Lunar New Year. Happy Birthday, everyone!

Back to the shifting - Erm, yes, living in a 3-storey house is a super big deal. Endless cleaning chores - just sweeping the floors takes me more than 40 min when I can complete that in less than 5 min in CH.

I already knew it before shifting in.
I already knew then that I have to slave it out in the new house...

Umpteen times of walking the stairs.
That makes my knees weak. I already knew then that the stairs' going to tire me out...

I better stop grumbling - it's really a big deal...

On the bright side, I am living in a really nice house... just that I need to sweat it out. A big price to pay.

Shifting

2016-10-18T10:26:00.001+08:00

Was searching through my old posts to find out the date we actually shifted into Compass Heights - wanted to find out if the date coincide on a bad day for house shifting. We never believed in feng shui and so for CH, we didn't choose any auspicious date to move in nor did we perform any ritual for blessings. But now I'm thinking if these are the reasons behind our not-so-good luck (Xuan never slept in her room, faced sleep problems and many problems; the siblings fought badly; a lot of crazy tantrums, anger; sickness and illness within the first 2 years, etc)

Well, i did not even document the date of shifting in, so I'd never be able to conclude.

Now, I've become more particular about feng shui. But sometimes, the dates chosen for various stages are out of our control.

For the new house we are shifting to, here are some dates:
20 oct 2016 shift boxes to warehouse
21 oct 2016 collect keys and door opening
27 oct 2016 shift and stay in AMK
November 2016 renovation
December 2016 shift in to new abode

Just keep fingers crossed that all dates are good dates and things will turn out well for everyone in the new house.

Moving...

2016-08-22T18:01:00.001+08:00

Before we know it, September is coming and we should be expecting our keys anytime in September. Yes, keys to our new abbot. Hopefully we can settled down after this last moval. Things' gonna be fast and furious after we've gotten the keys. We have decided not to engage an ID, instead we will be coordinating all aspects of renovation and design by engaging different contractors for different works. For record, we are shifting to Luxus Hills, after much deliberation and many many house viewings... well, I'm going to miss the convenience of Compass One downstairs when it opens in September and the lizard-free house at 13-13!

Starting secondary school

2016-01-17T08:08:00.001+08:00

Xuan has started her secondary education in Nanyang Girls' High. She has liked it so far, expect that she hasn't made any 'best' friends yet. She's still very much in contact with her two primary school BFF - Charmaine and Celeste. .. I hope they will always keep in touch and be one another's pillar of strength when the tides get high and the ride gets rough. Hb drives Xuan to NYGH while I walk Kai to NCPS every morning. Walking to Anchorvale Rd takes 12 minutes while driving to Bukit Timah takes 35 minutes... so I take the easier job... Nevertheless, I still have to wake up at 6.05am everyday to get things ready for the family. ... It's going to be a super busy year this year.

PSLE Results

2015-11-26T22:03:00.001+08:00

We reached the school hall at 11am sharp. Before we even climbed up the staircase to the hall, we had already heard the Principal's announcement and congratulatory messages followed by loud applause... upon hearing that, we were like "shucks" and immediately dashed up the stairs.

In the hall, Xuan quickly scrambled to look for her class amidst the huge crowd of anxious parents and pupils. Statistical slides of the school's PSLE achievement were flashed in front of the hall. Before I even knew what was happening, I saw the slide that read "Pupils who scored above 250". There were 2 slides with name list of pupils and I missed Xuan on the list as they were both flashed in the blink of an eye. Parents who saw their children's name in the list were screaming, tearing and hugging one another. I was rather moved by how anxious we parents could be. Next, I panicked and started asking 6B mummies if they saw Xuan in the list! Phew! Yes, she's in!

Then the pupils started queuing to get their report book and result slips. Xuan was the last few in the queue to get hers. Everyone was congratulating and hugging one another. There were apprehension, smiles, laughter and tears of joy everywhere. ..

Lastly, it was Xuan. She was happy with what she got. She's able to get into her dream school at last... i was happy for her. 265 was what she got. Plus 2 for Merit in HCL if she wanted to get into a SAP school.

Well done, my girl.
That really marked the end of your Primary School journey.

Mummy wish you an enriching, fruitful and joyful learning journey as you embark on the next exciting phase of life...

PSLE's over

2015-10-07T21:29:00.001+08:00

School is out for now! YEAH!
First thing we did was to give her a treat at Swensen's... unfortunately the branch was closed at Compass Point (all shops in CP are going to be closed for a year as CP undergoes renovation).. so we ended at MOS Burger instead.

Then we headed straight to her favourite stop - LIBRARY. She has been deprived of reading since a month ago when she started prepping for PSLE.

PSLE - Play Starts, Let's Enjoy!
Hooray!

Scientific Kai

2015-09-29T13:02:00.001+08:00

Kai is the champion when it comes to bathing. He takes 15-20 minutes to bathe! Frankly, I consider that too long for a young boy like him becos' effectively I bathe myself completely in under 10 minutes. He bathed with doors opened and I'd always nagged at him to speed up. Once I thought I saw him playing with water but I ended up learning a new science fact.

Me: Why are you playing with water? Bathe faster!

Kai: I'm not playing with water. I'm just testing the surface tension of water. You know why water droplets are round shape? That's because of the water surface tension. Water behaves like a cell.... ... I know you don't understand one la....

Me: (???) I really don't. ..

Kai's knowledge about science has long surpassed mine. He has been telling me about how things work, about tnt, eye discharge, function of antibodies, why do our voices sound different to ourselves than to others, etc, etc.

Oh yes, and he said that we must eat less protein so that our fart don't smell so bad.

"Do you know why our fart have sound and smell? It's because when we fart, our anal sphincter will vibrate and that gives out the farting sound. When the fart is released, it is ammonia gas, which has an unpleasant smell. When you eat protein, you will have more ammonia gas..."

That was his explanation!
I was impressed.
I should say I'm very proud of his knowledge and inquisitiveness. And I admit guiltily that 50% of the time when he wanted to impart those knowledge to me, I wasn't listening. Tsk tsk tsk....

Upcoming PSLE

2015-09-28T12:34:00.001+08:00

It's been so long since I wrote an entry here. This year is the PSLE year. In fact, it's happening in less than 3 days.

The current haze situation is pretty bad. It had gone up to hazardous level last week and it prompted MOE to declare school closure on Friday. Even 'O level' on that day had to be postponed. Now, my worry is 'will PSLE be postponed' ? I hope not. I wanted it to be over and done with! But for Xuan, I think she just hoped that PSLE will be cancelled. Not postponed but cancelled... forever. Haha...

After all the hoo-ha about prepping and applying for DSA, Xuan was not even granted a chance for any interviews. All her classmates who were weaker than her academically had gone for their interviews and some even selected into their school of choice. Xuan, who had obtained a silver in her SMOPS, being consistently top 3 in level positions throughout her primary school years, was not even granted a chance for interview. The only way to explain this is that Xuan had done badly for her GAT, which is not an academic-based assessment. Sigh, no luck for DSA... so she has to try her best in the upcoming PSLE.

Good luck, Xuan!
All the best!

Sewing up her pockets

2015-06-15T15:10:00.003+08:00

Yes, I had literally sewn up all of the pockets in her jeans, pants, shorts...
Reason being she likes to put her used tissue paper into them and never throw them away before dumping her clothes into the washer to be washed. You can imagine the mess that turn up in the washer after each wash... I had to painstakingly shake off those disintegrated bits of whites from the spun-dry clothes in the washer! No matter how often I had reminded her, it just didn't register in her head. So I thought I had enough, and there she goes ... without pockets from now on.

Hahaha... hehehe... (evil laughter)

26

2015-05-29T22:58:00.001+08:00

And guess what... that's the class position he got for SA1. I was speechless after all those effort put into teaching him... all those naggy reminders, all those heart aches...

That was the result I got.
But I've always know this: things are beyond my control.

He is a bright child.
But way too careless.

Parenting in today's education system

2015-05-19T11:46:00.001+08:00

Being a parent is not easy. Being a loving, benevolent and cool headed one is even tougher. It's been 12 years... but 12 years of parenting experience didn't make me any better parent. Sad.

I have been complaining about Kai's academic performance. I set a rather high expectation of him and get really upset whenever he couldn't live up to my expectations. I told myself to let go but couldn't. The education system won't allow me. He has to be assessed. He has to perform or he'd fall behind. I can't afford to let go. This is getting crazy.

He got back his Chinese paper yesterday. He scored 40/50. I was disappointed. Then I went through his paper and became mad. Three of the questions, worth 2 marks each, which I had taught him, had been answered wrongly. Then I started to scream my head off. What went wrongly? Why didn't he pay full attention when I was teaching him. Why was he nodding his head every time I taught him? Why did he seem to fully comprehend yet scored so badly?

That was how anxious I got over his examination marks. That was how the entire education system has got me to become. That was how the whole examination system got me to be a lesser parent.

...

Why can't there be no exams so that I can be a better parent?

Lizards and me

2015-04-27T23:12:00.001+08:00

Occasionally, questions like "what happens after death?", "what was I in my previous life?" would spring up in my mind. As much as I wish to carpe diem, these thoughts just have their means of sneaking into my head. Perhaps, it's because I'm into my forties and living a very much auntie and mundane life that I couldn't help but sometimes sank deep into the unknown.

The husband liked to tease that I was a lizard in my previous life. I hated that. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but started to wonder if there were some possibilities in it. First of all, I have had all the "wonderful encounters" with lizards. When I was a child, a fat lizard dropped into my clothes while I was playing and I started "dancing" with it. On other occasions, equally big lizards dropped on my head while I was walking along the corridor. Ever since, I have become a keen spotter for lizards -- big or small. Anything wriggling on the floors or walls would startle me with a jerk. On many occasions, the husband had jumped at the sight of my jerks and startles. He was very angry with me for causing the alarm and he demanded that I stay a distance away after those episodes. I was left to fend for myself if there were any lizards in the house. And I started to diminish the husband's worth for not protecting me from lizards...

Yesterday, we had a visitor - a baby lizard made its way through the main door while we entered the house. It crawled on the walls before dropping to the floor. I saw the opportunity and slowly 'guided' it out of the house using a paper broomstick. You know, baby lizards are not that terrifying. They don't crawl that fast. So I can afford to 'help' it out of the house without much disruption to the family. And i owed it to Kai who helped me opened the main gate and cleared the path for the baby. You couldn't possibly imagine how grateful I was to him.

Lizards and me. Our paths crossed so often. Was I really a lizard in my previous life? What is the possibility of lizards or animals reborned into the human realm? But then again, if I were really a lizard previously, I shouldn't be terrified of them in this life. I should be keeping them as pets instead, shouldn't I? How strange. Logically, I should be a mosquito or some other pests that were tongued in by lizards, which explains why in this life, I was so terrified of lizards. Aren't I right?

Arghh.. just some nonsensical ramblings from auntie me. Anyway, how's life, my friend?

R.I.P, Mr Lee

2015-03-25T10:46:00.001+08:00

I woke up early in the morning of 23rd March to prepare the kids for school, switched on the mobile for latest updates on Mr Lee.

The news hit the headline and from then emotions went high. The entire nation mourns. The whole world grieves.

Long queues day and night, rain or shine

To show gratitude and bid farewell

To sob their hearts out as they bow

Leaders from across the world came

To pay tributes to the country great man

Flags half-mast and mourning day declared

To honour the man and his noble acts

On 29 of March, the entire sky wept

Men and women, young and old

Some were even drenched to toes

Here, I salute to you and your deeds

What a LKY phenomenon indeed.

12th Birthday

2015-01-29T18:02:00.001+08:00

Every year, on kids' birthdays, I try to write a post about them, dedicated to them. This year is no exception...

Xuan turns 12 today! Twelve years ago, at 5.45pm, she greeted the world... time flies. It seemed like yesterday when I just held her tiny body in my arms. Now, she is 12 and saying goodbye to all the kiddy stuff... in some restaurants, she's no longer eligible for kid's meal.

Dear Xuan, You know you are crossing a big milestone this year, but do not be overly stressed. Enjoy your last year in primary school. Treasure those precious moments with your friends. These happen only once in a life time. Jot down the little memories, and you'd find them treasures few years down the road...

You know, since young you have never been an easy baby. But you have been awesome as you grow... just don't worry too much. With the right will power, you will succeed. Be strong in character and you will overcome all obstacles.

Don't worry, you are doing great! Just remember that we are all here to cross this milestone together.

Happy 12th Birthday, my girl.
May all your wishes come true.
May this year brings you lots of joy, happiness and good health!

Happy *XoKoTo*