Harmony Relationship

Patience is a Virtue When it Comes to Male Enhancement

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 03:54:00 +0000

Is your chosen method of male enhancement working for you? What should you do if your male enhancement efforts are not bearing fruit?

Many men who have chosen a particular male enhancement technique are either unhappy with their penis gains or worse, don’t get any results at all.

The best male enhancement method is the one that works for you. It may not work for other men. That is why reading male enhancement product reviews is not a waste of time – if you’re reading the credible ones.

If you’re on a male enhancement exercise program, it’s easy to get discouraged either because you want instant results or because you feel that you’ve been exerting a lot of effort with little to show for your trouble. The key to achieving your male enhancement goals is staying committed to the process while focusing on your end result.

There is no shortage of success stories when you visit the testimonials sections of many different penis products. Is there something special about the men who were able to add length and/or girth to their tools? While it’s possible that the body composition and genes of these gentlemen are responsible for their success to some degree, a bigger factor is the effort and time that they put in to learn about male enhancement and the fact that they stuck to their routines. Like you, they probably had their doubts about their program and their penis gains but somehow, they just kept going.

When it comes to devices and exercises, the difference between a slow and fast gainer lies in the force and intensity of the exercises and knowledge of the proper skill and techniques. Men who made their programs work for them believed in their goals and did everything in their power for them to succeed.

Male enhancement is a process. There are no shortcuts (except if you opt of surgery, which is dangerous and expensive) and as such, you have to be patient. Your ability to set a goal and keep your eyes on the prize will help you reach your dreams – even if you are hindered by genetics or lack of time.

Being mindful of your goals is an important way to stay committed. Imagine yourself with a large appendage hanging between your legs. Once you can visualize what you want to achieve, it make it easier for you to dedicate yourself to achieving them.

by: Ricky influenza http://www.sexenhancerreview.com

Why Don't You Speak Up For Yourself?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 03:51:00 +0000

My counseling clients often complain to me about interactions they had with a partner, friend, parents or co-worker. When I asked the question, "Why didn't you speak up for yourself?" here are the most common answers I receive:

"I want to keep the peace."

"I don't want to rock the boat."

"I didn't know what to say."

"It won't change anything."

"He/she won't listen."

"We will just end up fighting."

"He/she will make it my fault."

Charlie is in his early 70's, and has been married to Esther for 43 years. Charlie and Esther love each other very much, but there has always been a problem in their marriage, and Charlie finally decided to get some help with it.

The issue is that Esther often speaks to Charlie with a harsh, demeaning, parental tone - telling him what to do. All these years, Charlie's way of dealing with this has been to comply - to be the 'nice' guy and try to 'keep the peace.' But every once in a while he suddenly blows up, scaring and hurting Esther. She has asked him over and over to tell her what's upsetting him so much, but when he has, she doesn't listen and turns it back onto him. In his mind, he has been in a no-win situation. The last blow-up led Charlie to seek my help.

The problem is that Charlie had never said anything to Esther in the moment about her tone. When he did say something, after the fact, Esther would have no idea what he was talking about, so she would explain, defend, and turn it back on him.

"I don't know what to say," said Charlie.

"Charlie, how do you feel inside when Esther speaks to you with a harsh, demeaning tone?"

"I feel small, diminished, like I did when my father would criticize me. I feel like a helpless little kid. I hate it. It hurts me."

"And when you suddenly blow up, what do you say?"

"I tell her to shut up."

"Are you telling her to shut up about what she is saying?"

"Yes."

"So you don't say anything about her tone of voice or how you feel?"

"No, I don't think I have ever said anything about her tone of voice."

"Charlie, if you were to say something in the moment, not about what she is saying, but about how she is saying it, what would you say?"

"I'd say, 'Your tone of voice is harsh and diminishing and it hurts me.'"

"Great! Would you be willing to say this the next time Esther is harsh with you?"

"Yes!"

The next week, Charlie reported that he and Esther had a great week together. He had quietly responded the way we had rehearsed and he was shocked at how Esther responded. Instead of getting angry, defensive, explaining or attacking, she said, "You're right. I'm sorry. Thank you for telling me."

All this time Charlie was certain that if he spoke up for himself, things would get worse. Instead, he discovered that Esther was very open to hearing his feelings and experience when it was in the moment, and was thrilled that he finally spoke up for himself.

Telling others what they are doing wrong, or trying to get them to stop doing what they are doing will generally lead to a difficult interaction. But speaking up for yourself with the intent of taking loving care of yourself will make you feel much better, even if the other person doesn’t hear you. At least you are hearing yourself, and this is what is important. And you might be surprised at how the other responds!

by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. http://www.innerbonding.com

Communication in a Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 03:49:00 +0000

Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex's, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.

Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person.

Do you identify with any of these statements?

"He never listens to me when I talk!"

"She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!"

"It's like talking to a brick wall"

"I can't get through to you"

"We can't talk about anything important without getting into a fight"

"She's too emotional - she's either crying or shouting or complaining. It's easier to avoid her"

"He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues"

Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.

Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process.

Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication

1. Facts: are both people communicating about the same set of facts? Try to separate the facts from thoughts or feelings.

2. Interpretations, Thoughts or Perceptions: Each person interprets a fact differently based on their belief system, personality, values and experience.

3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our current mood and frame of mind, etc can sub-consciously affect decisions and thoughts.

4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden agendas; are we looking for comfort, clarification, information or simply a chance to interact? We judge ourselves on our intentions.

5. Actions: choice of words (is the intent to create harm?) + tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.

"The medium is the message" => the way the message is delivered is the message itself.

6. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been "filtered" by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions.

Listening and Feedback

Did I say what I meant to say? - Invite feedback to clarify communication.

Someone who's not listening lets their mind drift and is already preparing the next argument or opposing thought; inaccurate feedback or limited eye contact.

Listening is an active, not a passive process. When two people argue, they only hear "what they want to hear", not what's actually said. This equates to the accusation of "not listening". Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing.

Don't argue when you're angry - you will not be able to listen objectively. Give yourself time to cool down and then broach the subject when you are in a more reasonable frame of mind.

It's important to give feedback - checking and confirming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback.

If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive.

Destructive Style - hinders or inhibits the conflict resolution process:

Confrontational (win or lose, blaming)

Sabotage (focus on weak points, shaming)

Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal)

Giving in (passive, submissive)

Avoidance (denial, withdrawal)

Constructive Style – trying to minimize the issues and avoiding the difficulties in resolving the problems:

Compromise (meet halfway, understanding)

Accommodate (open discussion, communication without confrontation)

Partnership (solutions, forgiveness, honesty)

When trying to resolve conflicts, try to clarify your goals, as you will probably share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers.

When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Sweeping issues under the carpet isn’t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along. You may find the following method useful:

1. Ask the other person for their feelings. Your conflict probably isn’t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. Don’t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument!

2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it.

3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as “I feel…” rather than “I think you…”

4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.

5. Create multiple solutions. Don’t go back to your original agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension.

6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can force an unacceptable solution on the other.

7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Create something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn’t work – go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being totally honest.

8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the issue.

Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication

Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has "control" over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.

Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don't dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support to balance the scales in your favour - it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is used as a weapon between parents.

19 Steps to Effective Communication

1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person’s worth as a human being. “Avoid statements which begin with the words “You never …” or “I think you …”.

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with “You always …”

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognize that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognize that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you – especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognize that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, “you shouldn’t feel like that.”

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person’s feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognize the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.

Summary

As you look ahead to new relationships, you need to be able to break old and faulty communication patterns to allow for healthier interaction. The use of praise and positive reinforcement will reconstruct wounded and broken self-images and will build self-esteem, particularly in children. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person which will positively enhance all your relationships.

by: Michael Brady http://www.datinginireland.singlescrowd.com

I Broke Up With My Boyfriend and I Miss Him - Can I Get Him Back?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 03:47:00 +0000

I left my sweetheart, it was my choice. However after that I realized it had been a terrible mistake and that I would like him back again.

What to do if that were your circumstances? To begin with you don't need to blame yourself and say" I split up with my sweetheart and I miss him". All that you should do is to create a reasonable strategy and try taking some action.

The very first thing you need to do would be to determine whether or not you want him back again or not. That means you'd like to learn the reason why you left him in the first place.

Knowing the reason why you left him and you feel that you simply overreacted by dumping him, you may have an urge to get him back again. It's your choice and you've got to consider it. Keep reading if you would like the man you're dating back again.

-- Tell him you want him back again, give him a green signal. I hear you requesting how I can give him indicators. The reply is: tell him you think about him daily, send him a text, an e-mail, leave a message upon their voice mail, call him up and ask about his family members. The only real disclaimer here's: don't go crazy or he'll believe that you're stalking him.

-- If you get a few positive indicators from him, simply tell him the reason why you have split up with him. Be truthful and straightforward. Simply tell him if it had been something personal or something like he messed up and let him consider it.

-- At that point, he'll get two messages; the first is you still worry about him and you are wiling to get back together with him. The second message is you still have trust when you are sincere and open up with him and you're simply ready to do anything to reunite with him. This makes the picture ready for your next stage.

-- Ask to meet him. Whenever he concurs make certain you look stunning. Males are much more inclined to looks than to almost anything else. Whenever he sees exactly how stunning you are, he'll have more good reasons to respond.

-- Don't rush issues; give him time so he can decide. This will depend on how long it's been since you split up with him. However, you have to put a timeline to this procedure, question lightly if he really wants to get back together with you. If he appears hesitant question and allow him to speak with you regarding his worries. In the event that he doesn't wish to speak, leave him and prepare to move on.

Keep in mind that you don't need to change who you are to allow him to get back together with you. Behave normally and be good. Keep in mind the reason why he had fallen deeply in love with you in the first place and then try to return to those old sweet times.

Lead him to realize that you want to reunite with him, and be sincere with him. This should help you if you miss your boyfriend and you need to make up with him.

by: Benjamin Hedley http://trustyreviews.com

Ways to Get Your Girlfriend Back - Letting Her Go to Get Her Back again

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 03:45:00 +0000