Back in February 2011 I moved http://PetLvr.com/blog/ “blog” and merged that into http://PetLvr.com “community blog and forum”. Because I’ve been blogging since 2005 and had almost 4,500 posts in the archives of PetLvr + the Community blog … I used a special export plugin and downloaded one month at a time. This assured me all of the posts were complete, as well as the images were moved/merged in tact.

Well .. after I looked at the merge, I had over 6,900 categories and about 8,000 tags. As an example, I had the category “.: Pet Health Care” 589 times in the category list, with slugs ranging from pet-health-care, pet-health-care-1, pet-health-care-2 etc etc to pet-health-care-589.

This has been quite painful, because at the time all I could find was one wordpress plugin that merged categories one at a time … it’s called Category Merge. It works fine, but from March 2011 to October 2011, in my spare time, it has taken me down to about 2,400 categories left to merge. Quite annoying, but hoping no one would notice.

But A New WordPress Plugin Worked Miracles For Me!

It’s a miracle ~

Term Management Tools

Search for “Term Management Tools” in your Add-A-New Plugin feature in your dashboard.

How this works: Got your Posts in your dashboard, and just edit categories like you would normally would, and select the categories you want merged by ticking the box. Then, at the top select from the drop menu “merge” and type in the display name of the category you want (or the same name in my case).

It took me 14 minutes to merge the remaining 2,400 categories into the final 260 or so categories that exist!

Now … if you know about this plugin already .. you’re a lot smarter than I am .. and *geeesh* why didn’t ya tell me about this 8 months ago!?!

With all these stores of mine, you would think that I am making tons of money .. but I am not. In fact, quite the opposite … I’m making tons of nothing!! Well, I do make a little

It’s hard NOT to make ~something~ because I am an approved publisher of almost 600 vendors. Most of my stores have been created with the Datafeedr Plugin, which makes it easy to blend a variety of many vendors into a specialized and concentrated store. I’m pretty much hooked into all the major companies … Shareasale, Commission Junction, Google Affiliate Network, Linkshare, Medhealth, Bridalux, Pepperjam, and Clickbank .. as these are the companies that the Datafeedr program supports that I am approved publisher and the vendor has an updated datafeed in place.

I have quite a few other companies that are not part of these affiliate network .. you see for these companies and those vendors who I am approved vendor, but they do not have an existing datafeed .. well, I have a bunch of rotating 468×60 banners everywhere being randomized, based on the blog your are on!

By the way … I just figured out why that damn AJAX error was on my sites recently … and fixed it. It was the Tweetboard twitter script that appeared on the left side of each site. No one was using it anyway, so I just removed it and everything should be okay now. Sorry everybody

Success and Failure

For me .. I have to say .. I’ve had the worst success with Linkshare and Pepperjam and Commission Junction … and I still have a HATE-ON for Clickbank (see archives)! I’m actually getting a fair amount of clicks on the CJ products and banners, but no one is buying – and it irritates me to death that I can only see a decent webpage ONLY if I have my Internet Explorer up – instead of using my trusty Firefox broswer.

All affiliate earnings that I have received since 2008 however, except maybe one $75 cheque from Linkshare, have been from Shareasale. I haven’t really applied to many Google Affiliate Network vendors, although I was approved for about 10 vendors. Quite honestly, I don’t know if I have been generating traffic or clicks to the sites because I haven’t logged in there for ages … well, until this past week that is.

My Downsizing Strategy

I have decided effective July 1st, 2010 to stop promoting everything but Shareasale (SAS) and Google Affiliate Network (GAN) products in my stores. If I concentrate on SAS sales .. less choice should gear towards reaching their payout thresholds faster. Adding GAN will be nice, since I get a couple ‘hun per month anyway from Adsense and they pay out regularly on the 26th of the month directly into my bank account – so that’s a bonus!

Besides downsizing the vendors .. I also plan to downsize the products. Currently, although I personally like concentrated sites of similar products .. it seems to be the general consensus that my having anywhere from 300 to 10,000 products in one single store is not good – and, I shouldn’t have more than 50-100 top primo selected products!

So .. with the existing shops that I do have, I will be modifying each store (probably in alphabetical order) to only the top selected products and categories.

My Upsizing Strategy

So my existing 40 Shops @ HART Market should hopefully have no more than 100 products in there by the end of July. However .. there are are many opportunities out there and I also plan to continue growing with more stores. Some may only have 5-10 products, and others may have 25-50 or so and I still have about 60 ideas from when I first started that I could create with up to 100 products in them.

I will be sticking to my original gameplan .. to keep adding new stores until I hit 50. Then, I’ll either start another domain and community of shops .. (if it affects CPU resources on my server that is) or continue to 100 shops.

Other Wishes and Dream Cookies

Well .. if I can manage the above by the end of July 2010 .. I also want to clone myself, figure out a way to work 40 hours in a 24 hour time period, stop all war and bring peace to the world, feed all the hungry children save all the unwanted pets … and well, winning the lottery would be nice too.

And Now For Something Completely Different

… no, not Monty Python .. South Park’s “The Dreidel Song” of the episode of South Park episode “Mr Hankey Classics” (hopefully I can get the SHOPS @ HART Market back on track by Christmas!

The smooth slider is that featured box above the title of the posts. If I think a post is informative for others, or extremely interesting (opposed to just being a waste of cyberspace and me ranting and raving about nothing) then I will attach the post to be displayed in this section. I have tested several sliders and other featured content gallery type plugins because on Battling For Health blog .. everytime I try to reinitiate a paid plugin that I bought called “Action Popup” … I receive error messages on the page – something to do with the Ajax or java or some stupid thing. I know that this plugin does NOT fix that problem, but of all the features of the other plugins and sliders .. I liked this one the best and is simplest for my needs.

Check out the bottom of any post!

I have set up the plugin to find either (1) Books or (2) All options .. books, videos, electronics, and software and appear at the bottom of each post, search based on my existing tags used in the post. Check out my tags, and the “Related Amazon Items” below … are they relevant? I didn’t check before posting….

Here’s some information from the Plugin Author’s website but, all you have to do is search in your dashboard under Plugins / Add new / search for “AmazonFeed”.

I installed it on Tuesday, and already I have had over 65 clicks and earned $2.30 commissions on my BFH site (yeah, i know doesn’t sound like much but, it’s greater that $0.00). I’ve had less luck on my PetLvr site, but only because most posts recently are about WHS and tags include dog names, instead of pet rescue, or pet adoption etc. I’ve modified my usages sinced Tuesday on that . As for this blog, I just activated it prior to publishing this post.

Description

This plugin will allow you to turn your WordPress website or blog into a money making machine while at the same time offering valuable additional related materials to your visitors. It will automatically search for and display products from Amazon.com which are specifically related to the topics you write about. Once you install the plugin, you simply have to decide if you want to show products related to your Categories or Tags and the plugin can do the rest. All you have to do is continue writing about your favorite subjects and the plugin will offer related products to your visitors.

Even though it is capable of being fully automatic in this way, it also includes powerful controls to tailor exactly how it functions. You can customize the keywords used for searching on any given post or even disable the plugin completely. You can also customize the heading that is shown, the number of results shown and many other aspects of how it functions.
Features:

* Automatically load category or tag related products from Amazon.com.
* Earn rewards as an affiliate, simply by entering your affiliate tracking code.
* Provide valuable additional content to your visitors on the topics of your posts.
* Total control to tailor results for any given post.
* Excellent content caching for lightning fast response times.
* Ability to disable related products from being displayed at all on any given post.
* NOT JavaScript based, meaning it is not hidden from users with no JavaScript capability.
* Easily managed sidebar widget support.
* Many more great features you’ll just have to explore.

More Information:

For more information about this plugin, visit the plugin homepage at: http://www.warkensoft.com/products/amazonfeed-wordpress-plugin/

I can’t stress the importance of making recent backups – at least, I say that all the time to my clients! But, for myself all I was diligent in was maintaining backups of my client data. This was always easy to do, because I have one folder called c:\DATA and everything I need to keep is stored under this one folder! The problem with doing this at times, is that this folder gets bigger and bigger and bigger. I have several memory sticks (lots of 500MB ones, one 1GB, one 2GB, one 16GB) and since I’ve purchased the 16GB one I’ve pretty much felt safe with my client data.

I also have a portable Toshiba 40GB pocket external hard drive, but it’s an iffy backup when I used it on my Dell Desktop, because it had some restrictions on some of the filename lengths and extensions backing up from the USB1.0 port. What I used to do (way back in the golden years of 2009 and such) was attach it to the USB2.0 port of the Compaq computer and backup periodically the files to the external hard drive. This backup would consist of my data files, music files, etc.

On my old Dell computer, if I needed space or did not want to keep a program on my hard drive (for a simple reason that sometimes I needed at least 15% free space to do a good defrag) I would copy the program over to the Compaq. This would not be an install, just a straight copy. I would delete it from my Dell, not uninstall it, and thus when I would need it I would just copy it back over my internal network.

I honestly believe that when you install programs, the software looks for files you already have in use for other programs, and sets your registry to use these files instead. Where as when you uninstall the software, it pulls all the files – even used by other files – if it’s on the install list – and thus your other programs will crash!

call HART crazy .. but that’s what I believe to be true (whether it is or not). Thus, I rarely uninstall programs.

Anyway … comes Christmas 2009 and my Dell crashes beyond recovery, I moved completely to the Compaq as my new MAIN desktop computer. It took about 4-5 days to recover data that wasn’t currently backed up that I was working on .. well, maybe 1 day work and 3-4 days to get motivated during the Xmas holidays .

Then – it hit me … Where’s my Thumbnail program? Where’s my Adobe program? Where’s my Musicmatch program? Where’s all my tax programs? For some reason … I have only been archiving programs on this computer when I was about to delete it from my old computer. The programs that I NEVER DELETED … well, was not backed up. Sure .. I had most of the installed zip files and disks lying around, but GEEEEEESH this was annoying to replicate everything I needed.

Although – Musicmatch is now Yahoo since August 2007 … everything is pretty much recovered and installed now.

ENTER MY NEW BACKUP SYSTEM

GREETINGS HART’s EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE!

This is called an HP SimpleSave Desktop External Drive .. and holds 1TB of data .. (that’s 1,000 GB’s) .. I purchased it at Best Buy last week for $139.99 CDN .. My Compaq (for some reason) has two USB1.0 ports on the back of the machine and three USB2.0 ports on the face of the machine, so I also opted to purchase a 2-port USB2.0 card for $20.99 CDN .. total, with PST and GST taxes was $181.90 CDN. Quite reasonable expense if you ask me.

HOW THE HB SIMPLESAVE EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE WORKS

It truly is “Hands-Free” as the box suggests. Once you plug it in, and the HP Launcher begins, it scans your computer and automatically backs up all your files into groups .. like images, documents, media files, and other popular file types, and if you want – you can also add additional filename extensions to include. There is no software to install or run – it just starts to backup your computer. The first time I did this, it took about 3 hours to analyze and backup about 86GB of data. The theory with this product being “Hands-Free” is that, if your computer is idle for at least 5-minutes, it will search for new and/or changed files and add it to the backup! I’ve since allowed it to test that theory, and changed images, new mp3 files and invoice.doc’s that I have created since that first backup … was automatically backed up!

SOUNDS WONDERFUL ……

BUT …. (there’s always a “but”)

When I looked at the backup, it didn’t have half of my data files in its backup. Sure, it’s nice to finally backup all my mp3 files and images that are probably duplicated a gazillion times around my computer in various folders … but the most basic issue of backing up my client’s acccounting data files – was not covered.

Sure, I could have added a file extension to the list and have them included but, that seemed like too much work. So, this is what I have decided to do about it:

1) IT’S A BACKUP DRIVE … I just went to the windows explorer and file copied my entire c:\ drive manually (D’oh!) to this external backup drive. It took about 7.6 hours to do that .. with all the data files that I have – but, I have verified its backup and they are all there. At the time, all “My Documents” and related folders and desktop didn’t copy too good, so I just moved them into a folder under the C: drive instead of just “My Computer”.

2) I set-up a http://Toodledo.com reminder notice for me to backup my c:\data drive 3 times a week (for now) and when I receive an email, I just multitask and do it .. takes about 15 seconds.

3) I Keep letting the Automatic Backup do its thing on the other stuff anyway.

There are larger external hard drives out there or ones with more options or features or backup software included .. but they are also pricey too. Although, depending on your needs .. if you ask yourself if $299.99 external backup drive is worth saving your important data is worth it (IT IS) … then ask yourself if having an external backup drive that only costs $139.99 is worth it!

However, if you click the top graphic .. Amazon is currently selling them for about $109.00 USD .. and, I might earn a measly 4% commission on your purchase as an affiliate link. Although, you don’t have to if you want … here’s the non-affiliate link if you prefer. I’m just happy and COMFORTABLE now that I not only have a safe backup of EVERYTHING on my computer now … but, a system in place to keep and maintain current backups in case of the inevitable – again.

I didn’t really get that last part, highlighted above, and didn’t really care. You see, I have my own URL shortening Service, have accounts created and obtaining API for extended statistics at both http://Bit.ly and http://cli.gs sites, have preview feature set-up for any http://tinyURL.com, and my existing sites already have a wide variety of URL shortening services available from plugins activated such as Digg Digg and the like.

HAVE YOU BEEN TO YOUR FEEDBURNER RECENTLY?

I remember setting up a bunch of new blogs back in early October 2009 and noticed that there is no more “PING” series of sites … because the “Pingshot” service just notifies all interested services when my feed changes. Before, I had to select a standard set, plus 5 additional ones and who the heck know which ones were better or not better. Honestly .. I’d rather not know!

* BUT – WHAT IS THIS NEW TAB? “SOCIALIZE” ?

There’s a new tab called “Socialize” that lets you publish to your twitter account – directly from your Feedburner account. You have to first give google authorization (OAuth”) to your twitter account and if you are familiar with http://twitterfeed.com .. the options are pretty similar. Please see the image below and, of course, check out your own Feedburner account!

By the way .. I use the Feedburner Feedsmith plugin Feedburner Feedsmith Plugin on all my blogs and although I’m not really sure if I need it or not have been using the Full Text Feed plugin that prevents WordPress 2.1+ from adding a “more” link to my website’s feed. So far it ‘ain’t broke my wordpress upgrades to newer versions, so I haven’t stopped using both together.

I AM GIVING THIS A TRYOUT

Currently, I have 93 feeds with my Twitterfeed account .. but, on my new SportsHEN blog (Which will be a front for my five new Olympic Winter Sports Blogs 2010) I have set my feedburner to be submitting my published posts to my newly created http://twitter.com/SportsHEN account.

This should be interesting to see how this works!

Click on the image to see a bigger screen image view)



View at EasyCaptures.com

Have you tried the Google URL Shortener with your Feedburner account yet?

So what I thought I would do … is replace my header image that I used to have ….

… and replace it with seven 125×125 banner ads! (see above top below navigation)

Well .. I offered two spots as prizes … for 3 months .. and the winners were announced December 18, 2009 and their banners now appear in my header for 90 days. I am also offering them a permanent link here by this congratulatory post!

Congratulations Teenius Contest Winners

– SHIRLEY’S ZONE – Shirley is a 17 year old blogger, internet entrepreneur and student from Ghana and lives in the second capitol town of Ghana, Kumasi. Shirley is passionate about helping people improve their lives and helping them live a happy life through motivation, inspiration, teaching them about blogging, entrepreneurship, money, and life as a whole.

INNOVATE YOURSELF – Where all the cool stuff happens … Deepika is interested in blogging and very eager in learning new things and sharing information. If you are a blogger without a blog and wish to guest post internet, or recent technologies .. please consider getting in touch with Deepika.

TEENIUS – Make Money With A Teenager – Simon Rogers is a teenager from the UK, just getting ready to start college to study Law, Business, Computing and one other subject. It was Simon’s idea for this contest of giving away $800 worth of free advertising – supplied by bloggers like myself and other great sites – and this is just one of the many simple blogging tips and tricks you will find over at Teenius to help bring awareness and traffic to your site!

So check out all of these sites and Congrats again to the winners!

I have just purchased the Genesis Rocket system (formerly TwitterRocket) to help me increase my twitter followers.

Imagine Twitter as a massive pool containing millions of people, all connected together either directly or indirectly, some talking, some listening, all communicating. Your influence on Twitter, and therefore the power that you wield, is determined by many things, including the number of people that follow you, the quality of the people that follow you, and the quality of the people that follow the people that follow you. More than that, your influence is determined by how you act, what you say, and what you do on Twitter. To make Twitter work for you it is important to have a growing number of high quality followers and to do certain things that influence your followers, and their followers, making them do exactly what you want them to do. When Twitter works for you your followers, and their followers, will want to do exactly what you want them to do. Twitter, because of it’s viral social structure, makes it easy for anyone to build influence. Once you have influence you can do anything.

And Genesis Rocket shows you exactly how to achieve the level of influence that you need to succeed, 1 step at a time, in 5 easy to follow 30 minute steps.

I have been using twitter since beginning of January 2008 and have various twitter accounts created for separate purposes and slowing trying to increase my followers. Except for @HARTmarket twitter account, all my blogs are using twitterfeed to shoot out messages to my main twitter account – @PetLvr. This is the twitter account I do all of my chatting and tweeting. I know there is automated stuff, but I believe the information that is covered, is a smaller percentage of the manual and personal tweeting that I do, that it is overlooked and admired by my followers! (/ego off)

However, I know with my @HARTmarket I don’t chat much and am currently about 95% automated tweeting (via twitterfeed) new daily posts coming from the Shops @ HART Market store. My followers are growing, but the followers are not as .. “loyal?” .. “dedicated?” … well, not as impressive as my PetLvr followers. About 1/3 of these followers are just like me – people trying to push their affiliate products or some other hidden agenda in the hopes of trying to sell something. I mean, all these followers and their tweets (just like mine) are good – but, only for those specifically looking for these type of information and links!

My PetLvr crowd is different though. Some are specifically looking for information (pet related information) but that’s not all people could be looking for. I have never automated any script to obtain followers on this “clean” twitter account and believe people follow @PetLvr because of the content I present, and because of my own social nature and status in my social communities that I participate. In this case – (sorry) – I do wish that people trust me enough with my posts that they are actually reading my stuff …. and, if I recommend a product, review or even a movie to see there maybe some people that just might say .. hey! If @PetLvr likes it .. maybe I will too!

Enter the GENESIS ROCKET Experiment

I have mentioned that I have purchased the Genesis Rocket System and have been linking to my affiliate link – meaning, if you decide to purchase this as well I will earn a commission. But, this is an interesting concept. You can automate ways to increase your followings, and I will be doing this as an experiment.

BUT – it is NOT what you think – that I will turn the key “on” and suddenly get 1000′s of new followers without any work. There is work and there are good tips in the 46 page .pdf Ebook that I haven’t even thought of before! Automation would include stuff like using your twitterfeed account to help promote your twitter account. In reality, I think if I were to try to describe it any better, you are really trying to get targeted twitter followers and providing information to these twitter followers to make them want to follow you, and find more twitter followers! For more information than that, I suggest you at least read the sales pitch on the following link:

In reality, what sets those who succeed on Twitter apart from those who fail, can be documented, broken up into 5 simple steps, and turned into a bullet proof plan that will teach you to create multiple pockets of passive income over and over again.

Genesis Rocket is that plan. A plan that will show you, step by step, how to build, maintain, promote, develop and profit from your Twitter account.

The Experiment – The Pet Care Shop @ HART Market

I have created a new twitter account for this experiment …. http://twitter.com/PetcareShop … and it will be this twitter account that I will be testing the tips and techniques used in the Genesis Rocket system to try to increase targeted followers and hopefully, increase affiliate commissions on my Pet Care Shop @ HART Market sales!

Now, I know that because of this is a twitter account for a “store” .. I don’t expect to obtain growth as much as the 1,000/week. But, I will be happy if by March 1st I can reach over 2,500 followers (about 300/week) and this will be my goal. If successful, I probably won’t be USING this system 100% on my other twitter accounts, but you can probably bet that I will implement some of the techniques and tips that will have worked for me.

Do you remember all those spammy links to ‘guaranteed’ ways to increase your twitter followers by 16,000 in a week or whenever? I probably looked at all these systems and couldn’t believe there are a lot of suckers out there (although, a few geniuses selling those ebooks). I recalled looking at Twitter Rocket just about the time it changed its name to Genesis Rocket and thought if I would ever try a system, this one would be that system. The others are just a time bomb waiting for their accounts to be disabled, in my opinion. I had a little extra money in my own paypal account and decided to give it a try. Also, as an affiliate – you do make 50% earnings so, if two of my readers also try this system with me – my money is paid! And, you can do the same.

My experiment will begin January 5th, 2010 (after my wife goes back to work from the Christmas Break )

Did you want to try the experiment with me? Maybe we can look back December 31, 2010 and see how successful we were with this!

People seem to read more, or want to comment more – when they see other people commenting already.

With twitter, I am using SocialOomph.com (formerly known as TweetLater.com) to email 100% mentions of my @PetLvr and other twitter names .. but, sometimes there are kind tweeples out there that RETWEET my content, but don’t have space or time to include the @PetLvr in their tweet – just the shortened URL. Backtype Connect finds these social comments and adds them to my blog and helps me recognize WHO my tweeting friends so I can praise them and add them to my “Super Tweeters” list (and #fridayfollows etc)

Just go to your plugins in your dashboard, ‘Add New’ and search for “Backtype Connect” and install.

And, speaking of which .. if you are unfamiliar with how Backtype Connect works .. go check it out and input your blog URL or one of your posts that you know has been RT’ed.

Backtype Connect Features

* Display comments from other blogs, Twitter, FriendFeed, Digg, Reddit, and more
* You can configure exactly what sources you want to display related conversations from
* Summarize, display comments inline, or append them to the end of your comments section
* Your readers can even respond to the comments BackType Connect displays

Currently, we support conversations from:

* Twitter – tweets that link your posts
* FriendFeed – on the entries for your posts
* Digg – on the submissions for your posts
* Reddit – on the submissions for your posts
* Hacker News – on the submissions for your posts
* Other blogs – whenever someone links one of your posts

Installation

Note: It is recommended that you backup your database before installing

Go ahead and RETWEET this post from the TweetMeme button at the top right of this post and then come back, hit refresh and see your comment RT show up!

I must have received a gabillion comments in moderation from this IP address by now … IP: 89.28.114.111 … and every comment in moderation has some reference or spelling similar to Viagra .. I thought I would post some of these comments in here for a laugh!

* I can not solve. Wanna good joke? What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.

* I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right. I am assured. Write to me in PM. I have a nice fresh joke for you people) What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get the clock fixed.

* I have read a good joke in internet What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing.

* I have a fresh joke for you) How do you keep a bagel from getting away? Put lox on it!

* Nice joke! What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A dog that runs for help, after he bites your leg off.

* I have a good fresh joke for you! Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

* A JOKE! ) What do you get if you cross a giant and a vampire? A BIG pain in the neck!

* A joke for you! Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug? She had her baby in the spring.

* Wanna very nice joke?)) Why can’t a woman ask her brother for help? Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too.

* Nice joke! How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!

* Fresh joke! Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho.

* I have a fresh joke for you) What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

* I have a nice joke. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

* Oh, good joke) Why did the bunnies go on strike? They wanted a raise in celery.

* I have a good fresh joke for you! What do you call an artificial stone? A shamrock.

* Wanna good joke? Why does a turtle live in a shell? Because it can’t afford an apartment.

* Wanna very nice joke?)) Where did the vegetables go to get drunk? The Salad Bar.

* Oh, good joke) What happens to illegally parked frogs? They get toad away.

* I have a nice joke for you) What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.

* I have a good fresh joke for you! Why is a bell obedient? It rings only when it is TOLLED!

* I have a fresh joke for you) A neutron goes into a barber shop and asks the barber, “How much for a haircut?” The barber replies, “For you, no charge.”

* Do you want a joke? Did you hear about the new restaurant that opened in India? It’s a New Delhicatessen.

* Wanna very nice joke?)) What did the Scotsman do when he couldn’t find a pair of pants? He kilt himself.

* I have a good fresh joke for you! Did you hear about the bandit that held up a Chinese restaurant? Half an hour later he was broke.

* Do you want a joke? What do you call a frightened scuba diver? Chicken of the sea.

* Sorry, for off top, i wanna tell one joke) What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school? A pet degree.

* I have a nice joke for you) What did the Scotsman do when he couldn’t find a pair of pants? He kilt himself.

* I have a joke for you =) What geometric figure represents a lost parrot? A polygon.

* A JOKE! ) What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

* Sorry, for off top, i wanna tell one joke) What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick.

* I have a nice joke for you) What do you get when you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.

* I have a joke for you =) What farm animal is a cannibal? A Cow, it eats it’s fodder!

* I have a nice joke for you) What did the elephant say to the naked man? How can you breathe through that?

* I have a good fresh joke for you! Which side of a dog has the most hair? The outside.

* A joke for you peoples! What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy schoolboy? One baits his hook, while the other hates his book.

* A joke for you peoples! What did one cloned sheep say to the other? I am ewe.

* When you order frogs legs at a restaurant what do they do with the rest of the frog ? – Well surely they just throw the rest of the frog away and take it to the tip.

* Nice joke! Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because there were no chickens in those times.

* A joke for you! What day does a fish hate? Fry day.

* I have a nice joke for you people! How can you tell if a planet is married? It has a ring around it.

* A JOKE! ) What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.

* I have a joke for you =) How do you get a frog off the back window of your car? Use the rear defrogger.

* Oh, good joke) Why is a turkey more evil than a chicken? Because a turkey is always a gobblin (a goblin)

* I have a joke for you =) How can you make a slow horse fast? Stop feeding him!!

* I have a fresh joke for you) What has four legs, is big, green, furry, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.

* Wanna joke?) Why did the garbage look sad? Because it was down in the dumps.

* Nice joke! What do you call a day that follows two days of rain? Monday.

* I have read a good joke in internet What do ghouls wear on their feet in the rain?!? GHOULOSHES!!!

* Nice joke! What has more lives than a cat? A frog. It croaks every night.

* A joke for you peoples! What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep? A roaming Catholic.

* I have a joke for you =) What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

* A joke for you peoples! What’s happening when you hear “woof…splat…meow…splat?” It’s raining cats and dogs.

* A joke for you peoples! What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam.

* Do you want a joke? What is the most popular wine at Christmas? “Can’t we open the presents yet?”

* I have a nice joke. Samantha: Doctor, my son thinks that he is a TV channel changer. What are the odds that you can save him? Doctor: Remote!!

* Wanna joke?) What did one rabbit say to the other rabbit? Nothing. Rabbits can’t talk.

* I have a good fresh joke for you! What type of fish play poker? Card sharks.

* I have a nice joke for you people! What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

* I have a nice fresh joke for you people) Why is an evil witch like a candle? They are both WICKED

* Wanna joke?) What do you get when you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.

* I have a nice joke for you) Why do elephants trumpet? They don’t know how to play the violin.

* I have a nice joke for you people! Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?Because it SOOTS him!

* I have a good fresh joke for you! Who is Dracula’s favorite person on the baseball team? The BAT boy!

* Do you want a joke? What did the sailor say when he saw a boat loaded with ewes? Sheep ahoy!

* How much money would an average college philosopher make?

* Do you want a joke? Why did Willie Nelson get hit by a car? He was playing on the road again.

* Fresh joke! Why do carpenters believe that there is no such thing as stone? Because they never SAW it!!

* Good joke Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

* A JOKE! ) What do you get when you play a country music song backward? You get your wife back, you get your job back, you stop drinking …

* I have a good fresh joke for you! What kind of music do ghosts listen to? Sheet music.

* A joke for you peoples! The dreaded Amish flu: First you get a little hoarse. Then you get a little buggy.

* I have a nice joke for you) What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

* I have a good fresh joke for you! Where does satisfaction come from? A satisfactory.

* I have read a good joke in internet Why did the man put wheels on his rocking chair? He wanted to rock and roll.

* Good joke What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.

* I have a joke for you =) What is the difference between a photocopier and the whooping cough? One makes facsimiles and the other makes sick families.

* I have a nice joke for you) What insect does well in school? A spelling bee.

* I have a nice fresh joke for you people) Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? Ta da dump, ta da dump, ta da dump Dump DUMP!!!

* Fresh joke! Why is a bell obedient? It rings only when it is TOLLED!

* Do you want a joke? How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.