A Harvest Bird Archive

Harvest Bird’s Weekly Twitter-Spatter

harvestbird — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 23:00:00 +0000

@CherylBernstein Sockburn am Main. in reply to CherylBernstein #
My gamble that secondborn would teethe less painfully and over a shorter time period than firstborn looks not to have been a wise one. #
Car is at the garage. The number of times I've looked out the kitchen window this morning and thought the car stolen is ridiculously high. #
"Sorbet shades are a key trend with soft mint and candyfloss pink giving a distinctly ‘iced’ feel." This from Ziera Shoes, about clothes. #
Whereas my summer palette will be the same as winter: black, brown, blue, red. #
@nzdodo See, I did all this already, and most thoroughly, in 1987. If I'd knew it'd come around again I might have reserved some energy. in reply to nzdodo #
@robyngallagher Exactly. I feel under pressure to revisit the very very green end of my youth. Why couldn't it be 1997 instead? in reply to robyngallagher #
@robyngallagher Ah Swatch. As seen in Dolly magazine. in reply to robyngallagher #
@edmuzik I'm eating free cake at UC brought in for the birthday of a colleague whose team of seven was made redundant two weeks ago. in reply to edmuzik #
When I'm at my office desk I have to remember not to adopt my "at home" pace of frantically working in anticipation of an interruption. #
@CherylBernstein Fear of boring Andrew Paul Wood? @secondzeit in reply to CherylBernstein #
@Becs Being in a physically different environment helps a great deal, & when I'm away from the children I'm only thinking for me, not them! in reply to Becs #

Harvest Bird’s Weekly Twitter-Spatter

harvestbird — Sun, 07 Oct 2012 23:00:00 +0000

Secondborn successfully started nursery yesterday and then celebrated her success by drinking from a bottle in the evening. Petite Liberté! #
Suggested update for The Funny Farm @dimsie & @annettle: the mouse’s silly dance done Gangnam Style. #
The dog officer called about our special licence. What’s your house’s area, he said. Sockburn, I said. No, he said, how many m2. #truestory #
@annettle Licence to keep two or more dogs. (Not a licence to kill.) in reply to annettle #
@annettle The fee increases for each dog. At my level > $100 and 2 inspections – but you’re licenced for as long as you’re at that address. in reply to annettle #
@Becs @pictorialjack I’ve seen it transcribed as “here here” but that doesn’t make sense to me. Logic not my strong suit at the mo either. in reply to Becs #
Today my father is bringing his bagpipes to play at preschool. This was my idea. What could possibly go wrong? #
@ericalloyd They’ve got music as their curricular focus at the moment; I thought it was time to skip the ukuleles & go straight to the top. in reply to ericalloyd #
The Kindle edition of the book in which I have a chapter costs 108USD! http://t.co/ovatCRZQ #
In an open plan office with my lower half concealed by the resources cupboard, operating an electric breastpump: the Megan Clayton story. #
@ehjc I’ve been both rotund and pregnant and can say that the former is the more comfortable state. in reply to ehjc #
@Lismahago @gtiso Me too. Whom I follow at any given time is very much about how much time & energy I have for reading the feed. in reply to Lismahago #
Hey @TelstraClearNZ, if I switch my T-Box sub from Sky to Freeview, will I be able to keep Sky shows I’ve already recorded on the T-Box? #
Bloody hell MT @rebeccamacfie At this rate cranmer courts will be levelled in couple of days. … Being smashed to kindling and dust in reply to rebeccamacfie #
@gtiso My mum had a teacher who had v high pass rates for School C. & who bullied the less-able girls until they left before exams. in reply to gtiso #
@gtiso The difference at that time was of course full employment/jobs for “life”. in reply to gtiso #
@Artandmylife I took one on which I had to say “excuse me, I’ll just turn down The Wiggles”. in reply to Artandmylife #
@edmuzik He was also, IIRC, Peter the undercover cop from Home and Away. in reply to edmuzik #
@TelstraClearNZ Splendid, thank you. A member of our household has a Blue’s Clues addiction. in reply to TelstraClearNZ #
So it turns out that “pimps” is one of those words that’s difficult to understand on a mobile phone call. Confusion like it’s 2003! #
@librarykris @thisfog “You people and gentlemen, boys and you people …” in reply to librarykris #
@johubris Eating dinner at my in-laws! in reply to johubris #

@librarykris @thisfog In that case surely the correct term is “youse”? in reply to librarykris #
@johubris Always, and your gf too! xx in reply to johubris #
@Helen__Heath @secondzeit I recall – falsely? – a cut in Moonraker in which dogs enter a forest as Dobermanns and come out as Rottweillers. in reply to Helen__Heath #
Happy is the house / that has as it guests / @saniac and @binkle. #
@edmuzik If you find enough of these guys you’ll have to build a VIP section for them at your next gig. in reply to edmuzik #
@edmuzik Do you have many aunties? Enough of them can pack out a venue and they usually bring their own earplugs. in reply to edmuzik #
@bluemilk Might you or others of your followers be interested in contributing to this? (My SIL is the researcher) http://t.co/vUnADBWO #
@edmuzik Depends on the aunties – could be smother (but again, they would fill the floor at a gig). in reply to edmuzik #
@dimsie @knedd was teasing me on Fri about being over NZ’s median age, which he is still under. Briefly wished I’d married an older man. in reply to dimsie #
I’m organizing a course that has been abbreviated to TC1. This is weirding me out. #
@AmyBowie Yes, but only indirectly. in reply to AmyBowie #

Harvest Bird’s Weekly Twitter-Spatter

harvestbird — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 23:00:00 +0000

Union organisers very happy with their training, gave me lunch, said nice things. Another arrow in my pedagogical quiver! #
@gtiso Reads like a neoliberal announcement of the birth of twins. in reply to gtiso #
Machine-loving children of Christchurch, I don't wish to boast, but there is a big digger next door to my house. #
@Megan_Woods A strange DM from you suggests your account may have been phished or hacked. #
Shepherd's Bush. Just like a YFC rally in the 80s, no? Bro? http://t.co/wboQglU1 #
Firstborn, participating in this https://t.co/bMKtvVbr, refused to look at pictures from a spiral-bound book as it was clearly a NOTEBOOK. #
@secondzeit I suppose from up high one could mistake nervous, jittering exhaustion for optimism, but only wilfully. in reply to secondzeit #
@johubris Treat yo'self! <3 in reply to johubris #
There's a gap on Tumblr for a collection called The Handsome Builders of West Christchurch & their Placid Dogs, if anyone's time is free. #
One such man came over from next door today, holding a bunch of cables like a bouquet, to tell me his bulldog & pug are harmless. #
I look to my east Chch tweeps to report on any comparable phenomena yonder. #
Seven of my colleagues were made redundant today. I wrote the union submission on behalf of staff, but to very limited avail. #
@SarahLibrarina They're English Language teachers. Student numbers are low post-2009 restructuring & post-EQ so it's being contracted out. in reply to SarahLibrarina #
1) I've been trying to sing a straight-ish, Robert Plant-style version of Song to the Siren to the girls. Getting there. #
2) Did you know an early version of Song to the Siren was by Pat Boone? http://t.co/lwFX50ed #
3) I should warn ye, he says "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum" at the song's opening. #
@pictorialjack Yes – it seems to have gotten to PB via the Monkees. An Outbreak, as it were. in reply to pictorialjack #
@Becs I feel like I know better than to try, but you honour me with your second tweet!! in reply to Becs #
@pictorialjack That's quite alright; in matters of favourite songs a burst of enthusiasm is acceptable between acquaintances in reply to pictorialjack #
@Becs At the moment @knedd & I book solo childcare with each other if we need to do something – I book in to write 1 poem a week for @gtiso in reply to Becs #

Harvest Bird’s Weekly Twitter-Spatter

harvestbird — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 23:00:00 +0000

I wonder if you have seen this photo of Andy Murray’s Border Terriers wearing his Olympic medals: https://t.co/m1oeRLDS #
@dimsie He just smiled and … in reply to dimsie #
Jo! Jo! Jo! http://t.co/WqAlMEcX @johubris #
@CherylBernstein Also the “I’m with” version for TC1ers & 2ers. in reply to CherylBernstein #
Chch tweeps, @knedd & the girls & I should be at the rally tonight, so holla if you see a tired-looking couple w a double decker stroller. #
@gtiso I have one – 1 – friend who works in Ashburton & every time someone is killed there I worry that it’s her. Confusing prose gargh! in reply to gtiso #
@CherylBernstein @ChchArtGallery One Direction! #frivoloustweets in reply to CherylBernstein #
@Lismahago Research? Or are we doing this for real! in reply to Lismahago #
@gtiso Inasmuch as I have proximity bias yes; but it’s probably more that local news reports every Cantabrian who comes a-cropper. in reply to gtiso #
@gtiso Although Ashburton as an Antipodean Shakespeare’s Verona, with bloodfeuds and such is not unamusing. in reply to gtiso #
@gtiso From now on, let it be so! in reply to gtiso #
@Lismahago Shame on me for not recognising the line! in reply to Lismahago #
@MoataTamaira I trust this will play for their return. http://t.co/RmU8WgeV (I love this song unironically.) in reply to MoataTamaira #
Rallied en famille. Good to see so many faces & feel our Chch isn’t completely an imaginary place. #
It feels like my children were awake and requiring attention all night. I may not be presenting my best face at The Wiggles today. #
@gtiso Truly we live in a jet age, just not in the way we anticipated. in reply to gtiso #
In the course of this week I have been to Edgeware, Burwood (to a fair!) and the CBD (twice!) and I feel a lot better for it. #
When we were at the Burwood Park fair last Saturday, a woman from the All Saints table sale came up to Mary & gave her a teddy bear. #
The counsellor of the Pegasus short-term mental health intervention has told me three things [cont]: #
[cont] 1. I have Baby Brain. [cont] #
[cont] 2. This exists against a background of earthquake grief, loss and survivor guilt. [cont] #
[cont] 3. It is time for me to stop thinking of myself in terms of mental illness. I am not mentally ill. [cont] #
[cont] Clearly I recommend this free service (5 sessions, GP referral, longish wait between appointments) to all with EQ anguish. FIN #
@jamesotron An important point which I must contextualise in terms of historical diagnoses. I am confident I don’t at present need another. #

This new jar of peanut butter basically appears to be pressed grease. Naturally the firstborn loves it. #
I can’t tell if her passion for salty, greasy foods is in spite of or because of the fact she didn’t have them until she was 18 months old. #
Man, the secondborn is mad about EVERYTHING today. Has she realised we’re not taking her to The Wiggles? #
@mellopuffy I always said I didn’t eat it until @knedd revealed how often he puts it in our sauces. in reply to mellopuffy #
@CherylBernstein Excellent! Would the recipe fit in a DM? in reply to CherylBernstein #
@CherylBernstein Then I await your leisure! in reply to CherylBernstein #
So, The Wiggles. Definitely a band first & actors second (ie much better than the DVDs). Banter, gymnastics, tiny dancers. Anna impressed. #
All agog as the show starts #TheWiggles http://t.co/jgMKsZpQ #
See the lights come shining … #TheWiggles http://t.co/hF3xSZio #
A Wiggly Assembly #TheWiggles http://t.co/6ENZhNnD #
I estimate that, at present, my firstborn draws, paints and otherwise makes art for 8-12 hours every day. #
New tweet so as not to frivolously divert the discussion, but an area of lowrisk in Wgtn might well be @gtiso‘s house: http://t.co/yZagxYqs #
Right, have finished the union’s submission on behalf of 10 colleagues whose roles are up for diff degrees of redundancy, & now, le weekend. #
Pass the wine, I say (in 2-3 hours when the children are asleep). #
My father is the baby’s favourite. Not her favourite grandparent; her favourite anything. #
After 3 weeks, our grass-seed has finally germinated! I was beginning to think that Yates had played us for $140 suckers. #nomorebareland #
The dogs’ yard is a different story. Think I’ll let the dandelions grow and call it a meadow this summer. #
Firstborn’s abdominal muscles are starting to knit, which is leading to lots of spontaneous posing like Charles Atlas. #
@robyngallagher I would not unfollow you over a divergent passion, lady. in reply to robyngallagher #
@robyngallagher Hmmm, may have come over a bit Smoove B in the previous tweet. in reply to robyngallagher #
@jsrnz @robyngallagher Oh snap! in reply to jsrnz #
@Becs Well done Mum! You know Pete was my inspiration baby when Anna was tiny, don’t you? in reply to Becs #
Tomorrow I am, as a favour, running for some union organisers a workshop on how to use powerpoint. Many things are odd about this sentence. #
Have been looking out for Chch tweeps at recent rallies but no luck. @edmuzik, consider a press release that’s a photo of your current hair. #
@edmuzik That’s right; documenting the sudden unexplained death of a marsupial. in reply to edmuzik #
@edmuzik Large animals got to take care or next thing we know there’ll be moas getting clipped in traffic on the way to Haast. in reply to edmuzik #
Suspect what they may want is a walk-through the menus but I’ll be talkin’ ’bout design & image attribution & shit. #
In my presentation I will include a tribute to a former colleague who stood in front of an OHP image of herself, to talk about herself. #
@TheAtavism “When you use clip art, you’re hurting the movement!” in reply to TheAtavism #

Harvest Bird’s Weekly Twitter-Spatter

harvestbird — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 23:00:00 +0000

For the household with head colds & small children, the @ChristchurchLib bloggers provided a wonderful overview of the Writers Festival! #
Kudos to @kebabette and her colleagues. Kudos. #ttrttpt #orisaproposofnothing #whichwillitbe #
@Becs @ChristchurchLib Makes me feel much better about being a comparative shut-in, between demands of work & family. in reply to Becs #
“Subdued reaction from the Scotsman”. On behalf of my ancestors, isn’t that pretty much a tautology? http://t.co/2hPHK0Gk #noskiting #
I love the way that iCal thinks if I give “X’s office” as the location for an appointment, it can use the internet to tell me where that is. #
@kaupapa Not to mention that in Chch, where your office is may be different from one day to the next … in reply to kaupapa #
A skilled storyteller, to be sure, but it seems awry to be dramatising suffering still ongoing (TC3 folks, for example) http://t.co/m39Ga91p #
The previous link via @secondzeit #
@gtiso Feel free to laugh when I say I’ve never watched it as the concept was too upsetting for me! in reply to gtiso #
@gtiso Yes, if, as @cherylbernstein suggests, it were conceived as a political as well as relational drama, then we would have a story. in reply to gtiso #
My infant has been to more union meetings than your infant. Unless, I suspect, you are @juliefairey. #
The clouds that brought the storm that brought the hail that set off my car alarm. #Sockburngothic http://t.co/X5yzlanv #
@hungrymama <3 We studied for our second-year music exams together. Lots of breaks to listen to PDQ Bach. in reply to hungrymama #
@saniac @hungrymama Most def – availability to collect them if they get sick during the day is a big one. in reply to saniac #
Reversing-cycling the 15-wk old so she sleeps through higher-level meetings is the reason I’m having fenugreek & diet coke for breakfast. #
@dimsie I never thought I’d say this, but I’m hanging out for the arrival of solids. This kid is awesome AND always hungry. in reply to dimsie #
@Lysergica By all means put me on speaker phone & I’ll hum some Serge Gainsbourg at appropriate times if it helps in reply to Lysergica #
“Here you are”. “Do-doo”. I know thank you when I hear it. Excellent! @knedd #
I don’t care for the expression “what is this, I don’t even”, but learning this morning that South Hornby Primary is to move to [cont] #
[cont] the Branston Intermediate site if that closes, and the resultant vacant land to be developed, that’s what I said. #
I married into South Hornby people. My girls have a connection with that place. This is a story in different versions all over town today. #
@robyngallagher The suburbs functioned like villages until well into the 1950s and still do in many ways. Schools were/are central to that. in reply to robyngallagher #

@robyngallagher The county councils didn’t merge with the CCC until about 1989. We had separate local governments for the suburbs. in reply to robyngallagher #
@robyngallagher In some ways I think the borough IDs were stronger than suburban IDs here. Certainly I knew I was in Paparua. #
@librarykris @robyngallagher I bet they have spring-loaded palisades buried in the ground up there for when the great day comes. in reply to librarykris #
@dimsie Je te comprends, cherie. in reply to dimsie #
@edmuzik @secondzeit Sockburn is for racehorses and all who sail in ‘em. in reply to edmuzik #

Harvest Bird’s Weekly Twitter-Spatter

harvestbird — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 23:00:00 +0000

This job ad seems to me to be running this close to saying "patriots wanted" http://t.co/qLgoTDmF #
Bring me all the galactagogues! #
Last night I dreamt I saw Gael Garcia Bernal at a distance, walking through Sockburn down by the closed service centre. [cont] #
[cont] I like the idea of a distant future in which I have time and energy to watch his movies again. Of the service centre, I'm less sure. #
@danslevin That's still pretty great!! #notSockburn in reply to danslevin #
@annettle "Hello I'd like to buy a people mover. Later model, less than 100000K on the clock. It has to be big enough to fit my huge ghost." in reply to annettle #
@gtiso Heh; my write-up of the Middlemarch Singles Dance appeared in Spark circa 2005. in reply to gtiso #
@gtiso The unedited original, in case you missed it at the time. http://t.co/ZEFBCGl5 in reply to gtiso #
@gtiso Ah, he wasn't born then. (I assume he is ageing at 5x the rate of the rest of us?) in reply to gtiso #
@edmuzik Badges man, you need badges. Start with Keep NZ Nuclear Free and work over the stains from there. in reply to edmuzik #
If you're looking for a highly-qualified professional who can joggle a baby and speak to a change proposal at the same, I am she. #
@Becs not yet. in reply to Becs #
@Becs Am working on behalf of others at this stage but it always feels like the lord high executioner, 1 step off signing one's own warrant! in reply to Becs #
@Becs There are, and thank you. in reply to Becs #
What if "your baby really is beautiful; I'm not just saying it" is the new "your baby is beautiful"? What then? #mybabyisbeautiful #
@TheAtavism All these babies getting A- will devalue the worth of the honours degree! (Can you tell I took the baby to a meeting today?) in reply to TheAtavism #
New in long-form: New Poems http://t.co/uTvXaBtt #
Pleased to see @TheAtavism in print again today. http://t.co/jgOx6Vm6 Sir, you are doing good! #

New Poems

harvestbird — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 04:33:26 +0000

In its earliest stages, I am working on something new, not just for these pages but in general. In the meantime, here collated is what I have been writing for Giovanni’s pages.

You Cannot Drain the Swamp [post]

You cannot drain the swamp.

However dry the remaining land
there is enough to return;
there is silt and sand enough
to do for you and me.

You cannot drain the swamp.

There is a sinkhole with a name
in it; there is a bicycle that
makes obeisance; there is the
churning, opening ground.

You cannot drain the swamp.

The waters, turgid or limpid,
bubble memory as they bubble
nitrogen; they are subterranean
but will not forever be.

You cannot drain the swamp.

The Man on the Roof [post]

With a small kaleidoscope
you make a great panopticon.
There are the men, the men on the roofs,

you saw one, now you see them all.

First give notice, then take notice.
I have a memory, long as a piece of string.
I have a plumb line ready for the telling.

A man comes home from the Forestry service

or the Broadcasting corporation
or off the farm. A man comes in the door.
He takes out his hearing aids

and sits down for ten years.

The man has a long ladder
and his house a low roof.
The man is caught between work

and a piece of the grave.

You see? Then measure,
but you do not have the measure.
What you call a mirror

is a camera obscura.

Forecasts of the Past [post]

All around the ring road
the argots of the locals
overlay the first instructions
that came with the manuals.

What are we to do with all these books? [post]