Hasten the Inevitable !

To what we have become

2021-05-31T17:53:00.002+05:30

I stumbled upon a blog that said its important to journal your life yesterday and oh yes i thought, what happened to the blog you once had... so i just browse this and realize how silly i have been and also I seem to have had existential problems back then as well... hmm... much has changed.. life has changed.. your problems have changed.. people have changed.. With all that we know about how things change in 10-12 years, the thought i wanted to leave here is the fact that as a kid i used to read the news paper from head to toe , watch TV news etc. because i used to love following politics.. i liked to know what was happening in the world.. I used to appreciate the ways correspondents write news.. i used to think why they used 'X' word in the article instead of 'Y' word... one among my many childhood dreams was becoming a psephologist interpreting election results and giving insights to the general public.. I am saying all this because we somewhere believed 15-20 years back that the news narrative we received was true (to an extent it was true). Now we are at a stage where we are unable to differentiate between facts and fake news.. Reading news papers makes me miserable and I am at loss of words to explain how painful this is to someone who loved news and loved politics. Like my morning tea, newspapers were an essential part of growing up... awaiting supplements for each day, there was so much joy.. awaiting and finally getting an 'young world' on friday gave you so much joy.. what does kids of these days have to expect for every week? Read the news paper is the first good habit that is thought in schools those days... now i am afraid to say this to my son.. i dont want him to get sucked into the narrative that someone wants him to read.. i want to know the news but there is nobody i trust..

To the deeper question that this brings... apply the same to your own life... not all what others say about you is true even if you believe it is.. being constantly told you are good at something does not mean you are good at it.. i was also constantly told that i am not good at doing a particular activity but later i realised i have been branded so and made to believe so as well for their own advantages a narrative spreads since even you end up believing it.. So the thought is dont believe anyone at face value.. every word think and accept into your system or else eject.. times are such.. people are such.. Not sure whether we were being fed wrongly and we are beginning to realise only now ? or we were being fed rightly some 10-15 years back but world has became nastier place later, i am not sure.. I was a natural in trusting people... now i run away from anyone who is seemingly nice.. on the contrary people who are slightly crooked interest me.. hehe..

How good were those days when the opinions of the news correspondents was confined only to the editorial page...? *sigh*

And

To what we all have become.

A lyrical Masterpiece - Saagavaram

2015-03-26T00:22:00.003+05:30

I have been resisting the temptation to post about the greatness of Uthama Villian Songs particularly after several people accused me of being biased. However, I have ceased controlling the temptation simply because of 'Saagavaram' song. I am not sure whether any of you had the chance to listen to it. After listening (several times) to the song 'Saagavaram', something struck me and I found out today that this song is a masterpiece. I am not talking the music ( I know very little about music) , but the lyrics...

To just give everybody a background, this song (i think) is being rendered by a theatre artist (who unfortunately has avoided death 5 times) to his king (who is adamant on being immortal) about life, death, rebirth and why immortality is a much worser situation than death. The lyrics are deep.. Very deep..I have tried to translate/give my views whereever possible.

Saagaavaram pol sogam undo Kelai manna (kelai manna)...

Theeraa kadhaiyai ketpaar un do Kelai manna (kelai manna)....

[Is there a bigger sadness than having a boon to not be able to die ?

Is there anyone who wishes to listen to an everlasting story ?]

Kaniyar kanitha kanakku padi naam kaanam ulagidhu vatta pandham (Oooo..)vatta pandham(Oooo..)

vatta pandhai vattamadikkum mattra pandhum pogum maande...

[ As per mathematicians's and scientist's , this earth is a round ball..

The round balls (read other planets/satelites) that rotate this ball(earth) will perish one day]

Maala oliyaam nyayirum kooda matror yugathil pogum karindhe

Karindhe erindhum veditha pinnum udikkum kulambil uyirgal mulaikkum

[Even the Sun (which is thought to have constant source of light} will perish one day in a different yuga..

However, life will emerge out of the debris of the burnt and destroyed sun (a la Big Bang theory)]

Mulaithu murikum thulirkum vaazhai thaan maranathuku ulle vetihadhu vidhayai

[Even the plaintain plant provides for a seed of life when it dies]

Vidhaithidum unnai pol oru uyirai uyirthu vilangum en kavidhai vilangum kavidhai vilangum(Oooo..)

Vilangi pulangidum vamsam vaazha vaazhum naalil kadamai seiyya

seiyul pol oru kaadhal vendum Kaadhal vendum (seiyul pol oru )Kaadhal vendum (seiyul pol oru )

Vendiyathellam vaitha oruvan..saavayum vendi setha kadhaigal aayiram undu

[Self explanatory]

Its not over yet.. To give meaning and context to the song, even the lyrics are written in such a manner that the last word of the every sentence is the first word of the next sentence (i have highlighted by making the relevant words in 'bold') thus possibly bringing the meaning that every 'end'(death) has a 'beginning'(birth).. and every beginning has an end..

What lyrics !!! -

SALUTE

P.S. - I am no Tamil Scholar.. I am just a fan of pure awesomeness.

Resonances from the underground

2015-02-20T23:57:00.001+05:30

'Did you hear that ?'

'That voice from the underground... ??'

'I think i know what that sound is... Its that boy there... he is upto something.'

'What ? Do you think he is started blogging again'

'Bingo'.

Despicable We ?

2013-12-28T03:15:00.001+05:30

My mind takes me back to when I was a child. To give a background, this was during the time I began to understand the world around me. A stage in growing up when the innocence associated with childhood begins to wear off and slowly but surely the individual personality begins to take over. I was at the beach with my cousins around 9 PM (and those were the days when beach wasn't crowded) when couple of leprosy stricken people approached us and begged alms. And as my cousins started shadow searching in pockets and wallets, I blurted 'Change illa nga' and........... they went off... (probably, they expected this answer).

Obviously I have heard the usage before.The great escape tool. I think we all have used this. At trains, at traffic signals, outside cinema halls, restaurants, temples etc. etc. Probably the only time I do not use this 'technique' is when hermaphrodites approach. At that insane moment, I almost always hand over whatever little cash I have with me. Once, I even handed over a 'surutified' 100 Rupee note as it was the only cash I had with me that day. At the mere sight of them , my brain stops functioning and I start panicking instantly. (Though I must clarify, I do not have any hatred towards that 'community' but then I have seen some badly behaved individuals who I would like to believe are not representative samples for the entire population)

So.. As we talk about brains.. I would like to digress..

I am digressing here to understand how does one(rather the supposedly 'unbiased' brain) form an opinion about something. Why is that something that is acceptable for X is not acceptable for Y. Seriously, this human brain often astonishes me. It fascinates me simply because the voice inside it takes sides and argues (at least for me) . I am not sure how many of you do this, but then I have this standard set 'process' (This might be comical, but I still run the risk of blogging about it). This is something that subconsciously runs within me which is why people often find me staring at some object for long periods of time with a straight face. I let myself do this and I let the thoughts in auto-pilot mode.

I have given a process chart (prepared poorly in MS Word of course {did you notice that green underline ?}) of how I form an opinion or how I think I form an opinion. It basically begins with me having this primary assumption. Then, I scan across people who might have alternate views and find out their reasons. I let myself to be deeply influenced by this thought of others. I voluntarily empathize to that different point of view. My cortex ponders over it for sometime and I let it park there for sometime. The only instruction I give it is to tell it to be unbiased. And later, the most important part of it is to try to forget about it after some pondering. And suddenly, unpredictably out of the blue I have this opinion of mine ready. That opinion of mine is being served to me by my brain at unimaginable situations(It comes Boom.. Like 'Love' in the movie 'Azhagiya Theeye'). It might be at work, at traffic, at the couch while watching TV, at the coffee break, or surprisingly even during some other discussion. However, there are some issues that I find very difficult to form an opinion and its been pending for eons. Like for example, I do not have an opinion on Euthanasia. I do not know whether I am for or against it.

But then some years back, I did form my own opinion on one topic named charity. Several questions arise on charity and issues around it. Acts of charity have been documented since the beginning of recorded history, yet even now in the most democratic and economically advance nations charity is still necessary. Does this mean charitable acts are failing to affect meaningful change? Should Charity even be the responsibility of individual citizens or is it the obligation of Government? Do hand outs make people lazy and dependent instead of resourceful and responsible for their own livelihoods? Is it every man for themselves or are we all in this together? Some really tough questions to answer.

The interesting Ayn Rand lexicon of Charity is as follows.

"My views on charity are very simple. I do not consider it a major virtue and, above all, I do not consider it a moral duty.There is nothing wrong in helping other people,if and when they are worthy of the help and you can afford to help them. I regard charity as a marginal issue. What I am fighting is the idea that charity is a moral duty and a primary virtue"

I don't advocate it. However its interesting. It takes a dig at the people who take pride in showing that they are doing Charity. Yes. The sad part is Charity is supposed to be the among the noblest of acts. Sadly, even charity is done in to obtain cheap publicity. Other lexicons on charity including our local paati amma version that is 'Thanakku minji thaan dhaanam'. I am completely in concurrence with it. Have sufficiently for yourself and give whatever is left after your requirements. True that. You don't want to be a pauper yourself after giving whatever you have.

There is theory that is called 'Karma' theory. Simply put , this is what Rajinikant tells to the kids in a song in the movie, 'Raja Chinna Roja' where the kids go to the forest and help plucking out a thorn from the legs of an wounded Elephant. Later , they tie a cloth around a monkey and light a fire in its tail. The fire spreads. The Elephant then sprays water to help them fight the fire. So.. Rajinikant sings.. (there is a catch in this).

"... Nanmai ondru seitheergal.. Nanmai vilaindadu... :) Theemai ondru seitheergal... Theemai vilaindadu..:(... Theemai seivathai vituvittu nanmai seiya thodangugal..."

Perfect example for Karma Theory

There are lot of people who do lot of atrocities in this world. They are frauds in their respective fields. They even accept that they are white collared dacoits. Their way of washing out their sins is by donating significantly towards charity of what they earn illicitly. However, they fail to understand there is no set-off in the theory of Karma. Even in the above mentioned song, the good act and the bad act does not set-off. Both occurs. These are self-imposed charity work done to wash their own sins. Its not an act of charity done from the heart.

My lexicon of charity might be quite confusing. It might seem as though it is not charity at all. For, I do not pay the beggars. My idea of dropping an one rupee or a two rupee coin in to the hands of torn blanket stricken people on pavements is highly inconsistent. Some day, I might. Some day, I won't. However there is one act that I am very consistent.

I visit this old lady who pulls her cart and sells fruits and vegetables in Mylapore market. Seriously, there is no point arguing with her for the price. I see people coming in foreign cars start a big tantrum of being charged an extra 5 rupees. Where are our values ? I don't find it worthwhile to argue with this Auto wallah who asks Rs. 10 extra to the meter. If only ,you had not argued, you would have reached your destination earlier.(I do agree there are unreasonable autowallah's but there are genuine one's too). Even the sundal or mango guy at the beach. The guy who provides tea in the afternoon. The lady who sells train timetable in trains. The guy who sells soda on the road side. etc. etc.

Yes. I don't bargain. Its my way of being charitable.

In my opinion, its deplorable if we bargain to such people.You need not make huge donations. Small acts like not bargaining can be charity. What are we going to achieve by saving that 5 or 10 Rs. Seriously, look at yourself. What is your definition of Charity ? Are you being philanthropic only for 80G ? or to wash of your sins ? or to have your name at the top of list of donors in any building ?. If yes, so cheap of you. You are not BCCI. Are you ?

P.S. - BCCI wanted to be a charitable organisation for tax purposes.

An ode to the greatest draw and to the romance of test cricket

2013-12-24T23:31:00.000+05:30

Dedicated to :

The lovers of Test Cricket.

Preface:

This is 'heavily inspired' by several poems written earlier on cricket. (and by 'heavily inspired' - You should have got the message.. :P ). Also, Kindly apologize me for my basic English errors and also for putting something as an ode without using rhyming words.(Frankly, I did not get many).

An ode to the greatest draw and to the romance of test cricket

There was a breathless hush in the Close tonight –

Sixteen to make and the match to win –

A bumping pitch and a blinding light,

3 overs to play and the bowlers in.

The wild bowler thought he must bowl short,

The batsman thought he must not be bowled,

They knew that, if they both fail,

Their team shall perish unconsoled.

They all would have mourned if the game had a different result,

The batsman and the bat, the bowler and the ball, the umpire, the pavilion clock,

The roller, pitch, and stumps, and all.

And hence the result in the end was fair.. But before that we did see..

The joy that reigned in the Pavilion,

And gladness amongst their clan

While thousands breathed good wishes round the bull ring;

Admirers dubbed the youngsters

As respective go to men;

In ABD's, Pujara's and Kohli's play they saw the genuine ring.

It was well worth spending time to see

Illustrious Zak's smile,

Also when Ishant, Shami and Vernon

zipped the ball with style .

Block, block, block

At the foot of thy wicket, O Faf Du!

And I would not let my tongue utter the word

boredom. You were in the Zone!

Greatest Draw ??

So hopeless the bowlers became, my boy,

With each ball the way you play!

Oh, nice for yourself, I suppose,

That you stick at the wicket all day!

And the clock's slow hands go on,

And you still keep up ye sticks;

Block, block, block,

At the foot of thy wicket, Of Faf Du!

Just 10 more minutes in the middle of Bull Ring!

You would have been a bigger Superstar!

Not surprising that one of ye coaching staff is a master in getting run-out!

They still taunt him at the bar, They still shout.. " Run Allan Run",

Was tempted did I like others today to call out.. " Run Vernon Run".

Sadly, the decision had already been made :(

But oh! did we see a lift of a smiting hand ? And the sound of a swipe for six ?

The answer is we did from Dale,

But as Jackman put it.. they were timid during the end,

It was a far too late and it ended up as a drawn tale !!!

What a match.. We must celebrate this great game..

and Play up ! play up ! and play the game !

P.S. - In my humble opinion, this SA vs India test match at the bull ring was one of the best test matches I have ever seen and without doubt the best drawn game I have seen. It was not great just because it ended up being very close contest but because of many other reasons including the fact this match was played with very good spirit (unlike a series that's been happening down under) but fiercely competitive. I think that the cricket that we saw was of the highest quality and both teams raised their level and tried out-thinking the other team every over, every ball. This will go down in history as one of the greatest games ever played. A great advertisement for the game. The real game. Love you Test Cricket.

The Serendipity Debate

2013-08-11T09:53:00.000+05:30

A lot of etymology has been hitting me often nowadays. One such word was 'Serendipity'. It was surprising to know that the origin of the word was from Sri Lanka. Also I got to know that this is an 'onomatopoeic' word i.e. the formation or use of words such as buzz or murmur that imitate the sounds associated with the objects or actions they refer to. Other such words as I understand are splash , spray , sprinkle , drizzle and many more. It seems the word was invented by the writer and politician Horace Walpole in 1754 as an allusion to an old name for Sri Lanka. Walpole explained to one of his main correspondents that he had based the word on the title of a fairy tale, the heroes of which ‘were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of ’. Incidentally, the original Persian name for Sri Lanka (and in earlier times Ceylon) was a corruption of the Sanskrit word, Sinhaladvipa which as we all know literally meant ‘the island where lions dwell’.

Etymology apart, I am sure there have been tons of debates on this subject (mine is just one more), but I am presuming that the we as a society have not deep dived into this as we have done with other similar topics , for e.g. say atheism. Here I am just trying to figure out some answers for some common queries in the ensuing paragraphs. (Pardon my sophisticated language. I use words like 'ensuing paragraphs' in the memos that I write at workplace and it just keeps coming here too.)

There are times when you feel you have no luck.Is it actually disguised envy ?

For the benefit of purists , as against what the title says , I actually want to talk about luck. Dictionary wise , I know there is hell a lot of difference between plain luck and serendipity. Since the word is used only in the dictionary, it is difficult for us to define serendipity. As I understand it, it is a situation of 'fortune' which 'accidentally' happens when you are actually looking for something else.That is important. 'To look for something else'. And hence, for you to be ~~lucky~~ serendipitous, you have to first 'look for something'. Yes. If you aren't looking for anything at all in the first place, and still you get something, then is it luck ?. It should not be.

Is Luck the difference between your no work vs other's hard work ?

This brings me to the million dollar question as to whether something in the lines of 'luck' actually exists ? Or is it just an illusion ? Whatever it may be, for the layman like me, the words 'luck', 'serendipity', 'fortune' all mean the same thing and all means luck. I was in my final year of my college and nearing 20 when I first got a real shocker in terms of 'luck'. For the first time in my life, I heard someone say 'I do not believe in luck'. I did not how to react, and hence my mind mechanically decided to release the familiar and the most used emotion of mine called anger. There was rage sweeping across me. How could someone not believe in luck ? I just could not understand this. Isn't luck so very apparent everywhere ? How could someone not appreciate it ? I could understand the lack of faith in the almighty but luck , I was just not (ready) for it.

The argument was plain simple. "If you say you believe in luck , you are in reality projecting your envy by a word called luck". At that age, I was probably not open to such interpretations. Now I find logic in that argument of his, though not completely. My version is , one could still be in awe (not envious) of a person, even though he or she believes that person is lucky. Why not ?

Looking at luck from the perspective of sports. You are the batsman and a normally very good slip fielder in the opposition drops a lollypop of a catch of yours. What will you call this situation as ? I will and certainly everyone will call it luck. I also have this nonsensic logic that, if you are a batsman, you will appreciate what luck is. -( This is just my random thought and has never been tested.)

Suppose you are a big fan of someone, and despite desperate attempts to meet he/she , you have not been able to. However in a random flight, you find that person seated next to you. Aren't you simply plain lucky ??How can the 'no luck' notion fit here. ? (Enakku indha maadiri questions ellam varudhu)

Attributing Dhoni's sucess to plain luck alone is atrocious

Being lucky as I see it is when those '50-50' moments go your way. Take for example the Midas touch man, Mr. Dhoni. He has been at the receiving end of so many accolades but deep down everybody feels he has done nothing different from his predecessors but he has been lucky. I do admit certainly that in this case the word 'luck' is cruel. Its just one word , but it degrades all that skill and humongous efforts that this man has put. To an extended extent, its very true. Very unfair on the man, is it not ?

If you ask me, there is only one way (the Kamal Hassan way) to answer the million dollar question - "Do you believe in luck ?" . The answer - " I am not saying I believe in luck , but I would like to believe there exists no luck.! :P"

Half

2013-05-31T01:30:00.000+05:30

Statutory Warning: This post is yet another self introspection report card from me to myself. I can understand that there is not even a tinge of that tone of surprise in you the reader and hence you can choose not to read it further.....

(But.. if u have decided to plunge, so be it... ) As already said , this is yet another attempt from me to look at myself from a distance, observe and correct. Too much of self introspection is certainly not good for oneself and I know it from experience. However, being the loner that I am , I am finding it hard to kick the habit. At the end of every day, I end up doing this 360 degree feedback.(See, being in the corporate world for some time now , I surely can speak some of that lingo).

First thing that I have noticed in myself is some achievement for which I am both happy and sad at the same time. What may be that mighty achievement ?. The answer is I have substantially lost my temper. I nowadays almost forget to get angry !. QED from workplace where I received a written feedback from a junior colleague stating that I am the most calm person in the team. Funny ! but people who know me from my school days would vouch for that abrasive fury I used to emit. Isn't it good to have lost that ? That is the question that comes up in my mind often. I am proud of it but at the same time I must admit that there is tinge of sadness due to the fact that I think I have lost the rage a tad too much and I sometimes now feel I have lost my identity in some way. Honestly, there was never a conscious effort from my end to reduce the anger. The only probable reason could be to avoid that miserable feeling you get after getting angry.

There is relevance to the previous paragraph since its a SIGNIFICANT change in me..(that caps was intended). And.. I am looking forward to more such changes. If this change could be possible (sans efforts) , why not with other aspects in me with efforts is what my post is all about. There is context to everything that happens around me right now and I realise that I am at a very peculiar position in my life where I have not been before.

I now realise that I have some strengths.Like this one for eg , I can confidently say I am definitely a notch above quite a number of people in appreciating and understanding a creative work be it either Tamil(even among Tamil students who scored 200 out of 200 in board exams , and I cannot write Tamil) or English. I have observed people who really are dumb in appreciating a creative work (who are otherwise brilliant at studies or at work!). Weird. I am abstaining myself from quoting real life examples since I do not want to go back to having bad temper.

I know I am a notch above the crowd in appreciating a game of cricket.I am completely aware of facts.Unlike the majority, I know why a batsmen takes guard. I know why the sight screen is important. I know what reverse swing is.(And I know a lot of 'brilliant' people who have different theories on what reverse swing is, like this tall brilliant bespectacled guy who thinks reverse swing is when the ball moves backwards (reverses aam) after pitching !!). I know some serious stuff about some cricketers. If someone says, Dale Steyn can swing the ball both ways, I would ask since when ?. Dale Steyn has been and will always bowl outswingers (to Right handers) only. It is only his teammate and counterpart Vernon Philander who can swing the ball both ways. Of course Steyn can straighten and also reverse the ball (Proper reverse I mean :P). I can appreciate a tense situation in the game. I can grasp what a bowler is trying and how the batsmen is countering and vice versa. Also, when technical points are discussed in Star Cricket(no other channel discusses technical points), I am able to understand ! Also , I can easily say whether a batsman or a bowler has learned from his mistake.

Coming to life other than cricket , I now understand that I have a different perspective from the others.I am more towards values. I am a 'means' guy more than the 'ends' guy. For me means are far more important than ends. Very complex but true.Also, I have some non-negotiable points. I cannot tolerate haughtiness. I have instant hatred to any individual who emits haughtiness.I develop instant hatred to any person who is rude.Even worse, I cannot tolerate Idiocy also (as I said above). But why I am saying all this ?. Its because, even though I feel all this , I do not go and express this to that person. I keep it to myself and release words only when I feel it is absolutely necessary. I go through the pain called toleration. This is where I feel , I should be more assertive and open up. A scope for improvement.

Also, I am a fan of subtlety and subtexts. Not sure how many of you are. I like it when something is said and done in a subtle manner. Yes, you may not understand at first and ignore , but if you understand the subtle inner message , the impact is high, much higher than if you dump it on the face. The problem with being outright is , it works but I doubt whether it has the same impact. Being outright can sometimes turn against you unlike being subtle and saying what you say in subtexts. This is exactly where my limitations sort of begin. I can understand subtexts and interpret many of them but I need help in picking all the subtexts.So, I am half here.

Over the years, people have said that I can write. I know I can write but at the same time I know I do not possess that flair in writing that you expect from professionals.Even worse, there are some words I do not know the meaning at all (ask me to speak , my English is even worse). I do not know the basics of grammar. Ask me what is Adverb, Subject, Object etc in a sentence, I would be blinking. That's precisely the problem.So, I am half here too.

From the Economic Times campaign - A Half cheats himself more than others

Come to workplace, I know the law , but the finer points , I don't know them all. Also , I keep forgetting. I need to be constantly in touch with it to understand. That 'technical' knowledge in work ,the fact that I don't know the full stuff rather the necessary stuff is sort of making me feel low.(I link again. These technically brilliant guys express idiocy when they talk about any creative work. That I am not able to fathom at all.) Also I am total sothapifier with regard to numbers.Also my concentration span is very limited. Here is where my diffidence comes from. The fact that I realise I possess only half knowledge in this aspect... Then comes the important question as to why do we need to know more than half ?. Probably because of the confidence (real not fake) that it gives you. Also you have no excuse in not knowing it.

There are other doubts and questions I have too.. Are everybody Half somewhere ? Whether this phenomenon is with me alone ? and other confusing questions...... Whatever it may be, but at the end of it all, I would say that I understand that there are places where I know that I am much much better, but at the same time there are places where I am not in sync at all .........

Again from Economic Times campaign - The Problems of being Half

.....And that is why I confidently say I am now a Half. I will let you all know (including myself) ~~if and~~ when I have made some journey towards full.Yes. I wanted a place to inscribe the promise that I made to myself (to not be half) so that I am constantly reminded of the target and warned of deviations.

Hence this Half.

The Intermission

A Good day to die easy

2013-03-03T03:25:00.000+05:30

"I need you to understand Aparna... Its not going to be possible..." whispered his son-in-law. Aparna took a deep breath for the news to sink in. She murmured back " Lets not tell him now.... though being him , he might have already known." Saket did not overhear this conversation, but knew what news was being transmitted and instantly felt uneasy and different. Sensing that her father was still gazing from the glass window at both of them , Aparna paused the 'hush-hush' conversation , looked at her father, smiled gently and raised her thumbs. Saket just smiled back from inside. Somewhere deep within her, Aparna knew that her father knew.

Saket clad in green from top to bottom now twisted to the other side of his hospital bed and began staring at the blank wall. Uneasiness was beginning to hit him hard. He began to sweat. It seemed his body released epinephrine, norepinephrine and dozen other fear hormones at the same time. Saket, aged 70 has been fighting his battle with a peculiar disease for which he was undergoing several tests and little treatment at the hospital where his son-in-law is a doctor.

...........

The door opened."Apologies for being late Deepak. My wife insisted on me having the dinner before I left".

"Not at all sir. No problem."

Deepak pulled a wooden chair for Raja to sit. "Not unusual that there is a huge hype surrounding it... Is it not sir ?" asked Deepak . Raja ,his superior nodded his head , looked down at his footwear, dug in his toe , and pushed a pile of dust that had accumulated in the last 15 days. "I am just proud and happy to be part of history." Raja replied. He stood up from his wooden chair, went across the storage section and caressed his hands slowly at thickly wrapped books and continued " Media does help. In our case , more money."

Raja breathed in the aroma of newly bound books.He had done the same for four previous editions of it. He bent down the racks to check whether the bundles were properly tied and in the process caused the contents of his shirt pocket(Paper bits, visiting cards, Restaurant bills etc) to fall on the dirty floor.Among the fallen items ,he picked up only his visiting cards. He blew out the dust , wiped them by caressing it along his chest and kept it back in his pocket. Other fallen items continued to lie on the floor though.

Raja thought himself to have a much more significant role in his job than the designation printed on his visiting card which read as " Raja Mukherjee : Warehouse Manager , Bloomsbury Publications India - Central Warehouse , Kolkatta ".Today he felt, he was informally given a responsibility from the management."Bring on the mattress, its time we get some sleep.. We have a busy day tomorrow. More books are on the way." said Raja with pride. "Yes sir.Give me a minute..". Raja observed the ceiling fan above and managed to find some spider webs."Bring a wet cloth too, we need to wipe the fan before we lie under it".
"Ok sir."

...........

Saket was game for a midnight adventure.The night was regular , like many other nights , nothing special or extraordinary. Saket had worked his way through the gates like a regular and nobody could detect. He moved without a single pause and was outside the ever crowded hospital (which represented a mall) in five minutes. Having no other option, he decided to take his son-in-law's old green-and-blue bike.

His ride was liberating and after having traveled for over an hour, he decided to stop by an old rusted building. He looked for passerby's and found none except some sleeping stray dogs. He pulled of his coat and went to the rear side of the building and broke in. The darkness notwithstanding , he courageously strolled along.

.........

Raja had been waiting for the second lot to arrive for close to 2 hours in the morning. He then received a call from his superior informing him that no new books would be arriving due to a policy change. There would however be a review of warehouse around noon by delegates before further books arrived. The release date had been postponed.

Bloomberg Global , had its own reservations before releasing the book in India. The piracy market was rampant and humongous. They had also to content with the population that would be reading it online. They went ahead with a reasonable pricing strategy. They went ahead because there was demand, and there was no doubt about it. The release of the book was much talked about even a year before it was supposed to release. Delegates from the parent company were sent overnight to several Indian locations to monitor theft and piracy. No new books would arrive until the delegates reported back favorably.

Raja went back home , had a bath. His wife had prepared a sumptuous brunch. He refused it as he had to go back to the warehouse before noon.

.........

Saket came back to his room quietly without anybody noticing but knew that his adventure will just start and will be an exciting one. What he didn't know was that he had just found more than a new friend after a long long time, the book in his hand; a friend for the remaining lifetime and metaphorically his future love. There was temptation though to read the last page. He had never done that before. And, he said to himself that he will never do it again."People who read the last page first have no life", he mumbled. He resisted the temptation and began his joy ride.

Page by page , he did read... Line by line, he did enjoy.... Word by word, he did relish.... Hour by hour.. he took six....And when the seventh had just began and he came to the last chapter....

..........

Officials from the management came to the warehouse around noon and immediately the inventory counting took place. A book was missing. Raja recounted them all. He bent down at the same place as he had done the previous night and to his surprise found the plastic cover in open mode.

The other contents of his shirt pocket were still there. Could it be the work of rodents ? Then how could an entire book vanish ?. Several questions were posed at Raja. He was perplexed and so was Deepak. A police FIR was lodged.Media broke open the news almost immediately. Needless to say Raja and Deepak were reprimanded.

.........

.....2 pages.....

Patience was running out. " Just 2 more..." he said to himself. His hands began to shiver. Tears flowed from his eyes. The concentration fluttered and he paused. He composed himself and re-read the page.

... Last page...

He felt gloom and happiness at the same time.

... Last paragraph...

Saket now knew that Harry lived. He also knew it much before the world knew. He had done it. He knew the end. Saket shut the book and looked upwards....... Little did he fuss for the excruciating pain that hit him couple of minutes later when life left him.

THE END

The Numbers from the Hidden Treasure..

2012-12-02T02:50:00.000+05:30

I am right now attempting something similar to what Mark Zuckerburg supposedly did at his hostel room at Harvard University ( as portrayed in the film 'The Social Network'). I am right now Blogging and replying to birthday wishes on FB in two different tabs at the same time by switching tabs often...(Writing codes and blogging simultaneously was astonishing multitasking atrocity... ).I really like people who wish on Birthdays because , I don't. Sometimes I do.. Sometimes I don't. I don't remember birthdays until I open my facebook page through web.. I mostly FB through the phone and the FB app does not display birthdays on the front page and hence I miss wishing a lot of people... Hmmm.. A lot of my school friends..

So much has happened in the past 2 months... The least interesting of them all was I shifted home.. Not necessarily surprising.. It was special though... We 'discover' hidden 'treasures' during shifting , don't we ? Something very very special... Guess what ? I found my Class IX and X Report Card. The pages of class X were missing though.. So here it goes.. My Class IX Report Card and assessment remarks by the loathed Prathima Sharma Miss... Wow..

Ha ha.. Treasure... Nostalgic.

Those were the days where I was consistent. Yes. Consistent non performance.. I was getting some amazing scores.. kidding.. Some of the scores were too pathetic as you can see...

Those red underlines are the periodic class tests I failed.... See that 2.5 out of 20...?? Lol...

This one is my Favorite page... Wow... I have got a ZERO !! ROFL...

My Overall Average was less than 40 in Maths and Science during Class IX.

Very Very Honest comments from my Class Teacher...

Courtesy my scores , I was promoted to Class X (what an achievement) based on an undertaking.. Warning Promotion !

There are a couple of interesting things here. You could have noticed that my father has never signed my report card. It was always my mother. Not that she was considerate (she was equally livid as my father and had more 'vocabulary' than my father) but for my father it was an 'ego' issue. He could not sign for a son who had failed almost all exams.However somewhere in between my Class X , he started signing again.(not that my scores improved dramatically). He was obviously worried about my scores and had approached for a astrologer's consultation who informed him that it was that 'seven and a half' saturn that was spoiling my efforts and I was actually taking efforts.. ha ha.. The truth remains that I simply did not study well.. I just lost interest.. I was in haze.. Unlike others , (who thronged every tuition centre in mylapore for being Class topper) I used to bunk tuition classes and go to play cricket.. I used to attend tests and exams without preparations.. I was such a care free person... But then, (surprisingly) I always felt in the back of mind , that if I put my backside to one place and study , I could beat them all hands down... ( That confidence completely vanished one day which is a completely different story about which I have written a lot). Its just that I did not study then... I was not serious enough with my studies....

Even at that age , I could see the funny side of my failure.. Frankly , It meant nothing to me... I just could not fathom girls fighting for half a mark with teachers.. still cant digest.. I never used to check the totals when I receive my paper.. I used to see my favorite question (Favorite question would always be that enrichment question which would be outside the syllabus ), look at what marks the teacher gave for that answer of mine and then would judge the quality of that teacher and stuff my paper in my bag. How arrogant !.

This report card is precisely the reason why my school teachers and classmates look at me with awe now when I meet them and say to them now that I am a Chartered Accountant..... "I always knew u were brilliant.. its just that you were little out of track.." is what my Classmate Sivaram KP said after I cleared. I replied.. " If only you knew the efforts that went with it , you would not call me brilliant..". (According to me , CA course is an average student's best friend... CA course does not want your brilliance.. You being brilliant or not is totally irrelevant... It needs only your efforts...).

I want to dwell on the irrelevance of these marks.. What marks you get at school is totally irrelevant after you join college.What marks you get in college is totally irrelevant after you go to a Job..

Having said that , If only I could have concentrated on Maths during my School days , I would now be fast with numbers. I could have cleared my CA exams a little earlier with less efforts.. The love for numbers has vanished in me only because of my indifferent attitude towards studies at school. The only way to be good and fast with numbers is to constantly practice with numbers.. I had not done that for 7 years in school. And suddenly , you give me numbers in life , I am slow.. Not one day goes without repenting on my slowness with numbers.. Not that I did not have the skills but I just did not cultivate it. I just did not practice it when it had to be practiced..

I was one extreme in school... I just wish I could have taken the mid-path.. But If I had, that would have not been me... :)

Paper...

2012-10-30T00:43:00.000+05:30

This post is not about Times of India but since the topic is 'paper' I am unable to ignore that daily soft porn magazine.Even though , TOI has no relevance to this post of mine , I feel this is worth sharing. Incidentally when Deccan Chronicle was first introduced in Chennai , it cost only Re 1 (Penetration Pricing) and I remember my college mates buying it before entering Udhayam theater so that it can be torn into pieces and thrown on the screen.Even though TOI is costlier than DC nowadays , these guys now prefer to buy TOI before entering theaters just for the pleasure of tearing it and throwing on the screen. Yes.. Just for the pleasure of tearing it. (A lesser known fact - Goli's are put on Goli Soda bottles just to give the drinker the pleasure / satisfaction / kick factor arising out of his effort of forcing the Goli inside the bottle.. ! )

What about Paper then ?.. No. I do not intend to dwell (bore you)on greenery , environment and sustainability . I want to focus on the present day corporate 'cultured' (really?) world and on the ....

The Dreaded 'P' Word :

I first heard this term when I was coming down to the work space after having a sumptuous lunch. I just did not understand. The post lunch stupor did not help either... I ignored. Then couple of days later , a colleague of mine from a different team wanted to know about his crush in my team. He came to me and asked "ava pottutaala?"..... "enna pottutaala ?" .. "adhaan da..ava paper pottutaala ? ellarum pesikuraakaanga..".... I knew she resigned and hence could connect 'Paper podradu' and resignation. The exact origin of this idiom is still unknown ( I have googled ) and I think its use is restricted only in India... Nowadays people ignore the prefix and speak. Its just "pottutiya ?" or "pottutaana?" and thereby giving scope to many virginity related 'jokes' (and these so called 'grown ups' still call it a joke..!) Such jokes apart... I feel we need to focus on why this attrition happens..

I think a person will resign from a secure job only because of 2 reasons. One is 'Lack of job satisfaction' and the other obviously the' 'feeling' of better job opportunities' or a combination of both. (And there is an exception. Girls nowadays quit their jobs to get married and settle in America.!) Other reasons he/she may or may not disclose to the HR is according to me not a reason but a contributing factor to supra mentioned reasons.

Pay scale is an important factor. As humans we are most interested in knowing what the other person earns. We simply are not content and that makes us leave our jobs. Promotion or rather the lack of it is one other contributing factor to attrition rate. It hurts maximum when your peer or junior gets promotion before you. Obviously , everyone cannot be promoted. From what I have heard , there are some enterprises which have a very very poor promotion policy and some companies do not put to action a policy that exists. Recognition in one form or the other is absolutely vital.

Appraisal - The less said the better. Its just a formality exercise nowadays and seldom does anything fruitful come from it.Its obvious that people will just not accept poor performance rating . The way the management words it as 'Constructive feedback' is comical to say the least. Your performance counselor arrives and asks "so how do you think the year went ?". You are stumped. "hmmm.. good i guess..".. " It could have been better , is it not ?" and you are coerced to say what they want to say and you reply "yes.." Matter over. We just need to be happy with mid rating.Yes. The high performance ratings are reserved for the 'jalras'.. Most of these counselors have prejudice and that is the reason I feel this appraisal meetings are all pure waste of time.

There are people who leave their jobs because , they feel they are not being involved in certain jobs. There are people who leave their jobs because , they feel they are being involved only in certain jobs.Funny !. And there are also guys (very rare though) who feel that they do not belong to this corporate world.They are just uncomfortable with the profit motive of these enterprises and would be happier in a 'not for profit' organisation. Their moral value system hurts ! (quite extraordinary).

Education plays a very important role. There are effective and efficient people whose promotion and pay cycle are slow simply because they do not have the required qualification. Somewhere deep that hurts and they quit. Work environment also plays a major contributing factor. The conduct of their team members, the immediate reporting authority (a poor, short tempered boss) contributes to their decision. Some people quit because they need to report to too many people and need to multi task. (Its simple management theory that a person cannot and will not be able to report to more than two people efficiently . However , that is what is required nowadays. Nobody understands how practically difficult it is.) Some quit to continue their passion. Some quit to have more personal time. It happens in consultancy , where people move to industry to have more time to themselves. Some quit simply because they have been there for very long.!.. Some people move everywhere and then finally come to the place where they started ! . All this happens because , no body is happy where they are.. If only that changes...

Also , People do not choose their jobs wisely. Yes. People may not often get what they want. That's the time you need to be stubborn that you need only 'Petromax light'. Some wait for the 'Petromax light' , some do not and then suffer early in their career.They later quit and move because they want to be in their preferred line. When a person realizes that his tasks do not mesh well with his personality or talents , he quits.This according to me cannot be questioned. Its after all their lives and each one of them have a right to choose. I have heard many HR stories where they question the integrity of a person when he quits. Lack of integrity to me is selling your enterprise's data with another , not quitting and joining the other enterprise. In pure law terms, in absence of 'mens rea' , I feel the case is lost for the management to question the integrity of an employee. The management needs to understand that employee's have no loyalty nowadays. There is this tamil saying... "koorai mela sotha potta , aayiram kaka".. They know if they leave , another 'slave' is ready to occupy and hence there is little scope for loyalty etc.

Also , we need to look at the other side. Its tough on the recruiters too. People just drop in a mail to the HR and everything they think is over. The most interesting thing is the change in the attitude of both the management and the employee once the paper is put. The management thinks you are a dead resource and does not treat you properly during the 'notice period'. Its also very easy to find out who is 'that' person who has 'put papers' among your colleagues. The hitherto sincere guy who now comes late and leaves early is 'that' guy.

P.s. I quit my job recently and joined its competitor.! (in a different service line though)

That Blessed Soul...

2012-08-01T22:59:00.000+05:30

Among sour grapes I did find her..

surprisingly sugary and saccharine...

possessing charm and intellect like none..

bundled with contagious serenity and passion...

not more than a minute it took to realise ..

- She was a blessed soul...

Not that easy coming with a reputation...

to still be the person next door...

reminding us all that feats do not matter as much..

as the person you are after the accomplishment...

Very difficult for you to gaze those eyes...

and even more awkward to ogle...

but ironically effortless to natter... but the consequence..

- twilight cloud gazing and restlessness..

Just when you thought you have 'discovered'...you hear things...

you probe more and learn her background is not all that white...

And I did think...you too ?? and I did....

come to terms that in this age no one is spared...

and then question arises...

- Is she really blessed ?

Rimes from an 'Hopeless Romantic'...

2012-06-16T02:51:00.000+05:30

As it happens , I am back with my 'polambals' after a hiatus of 2 months which I think is quite normal considering that I have now officially entered a 'job'(which i must admit is a completely new pressure to handle).The other reason (main reason) for my absence is frankly lack of thoughts.This is bewildering to me since I normally have ideas overflowing to write about.The sudden 'block' surely has had me in fear. There was/is a fear that my blogging would cease due to lack of creativity.

Hey Mr. Creativity ! Where are you ??

Having said that I could have written a couple more in the previous month but I consciously avoided writing about anything that is even remotely close to the topics relating to either Kamal Hassan or Cricket. The idea behind that is surely the fact that I wanted to avoid that nauseating effect(particularly since there is that obvious blog post about Vishwaroopam due in the first week of July).

Coming from that is the obvious question on whether I have lost commitment. And I am not just talking about the break in blogging. Looking back , I have a feeling that I had much more commitment to whatever I did previously. I fear that the aggressor inside me has toned down a bit something like what happened to Dhoni in the past couple of years.I only hope its momentary. Put in Tamil , I can say everything in life to me now has 'thegatipochu'.. (Is there an English word to describe exactly that..? Let me know if there is one.). It is dangerous , is it not ? I have ceased to take any problem/issue that comes my way seriously...Why has this happened to me ? I am presently in a state where I think 'edhu vandaalum paathukalaam'.. From being a 'tension party' to being this 'come what may' is a huge change. And I am made to wonder whether this transformation in me is positive or negative..??

Personal fears aside , the one thing that I am unable to come to terms is with what I receive from the world nowadays.. I fear we have as a society failed to receive quality for quite sometime now. When was the last time you heard a QUALITY song?. When was the last time you saw a QUALITY innings ?. When was the last time you saw a QUALITY movie ?. Everything that seems new and interesting is either already seen or is a rip off.. Yes.. I fear that there has been quality depreciation all across. I am made to stick with the notion that whatever that was in the past had quality.I know it is not entirely correct too. This brings me to another important question on whether we have began to accept and settle for the 'second best' and be happy and satisfied ?

Has 'quality' taken a retirement along with Dravid ?

Maybe Yes. But I have always had a fascination with the term 'Second best'. (By second best , here I mean something like 'Senorita song' in a movie where that is not the best song or Dravid's 180 and not what I meant in the previous para.)If you can get what I am trying to say , you will understand that there is always this heavy competition for the 'best' and according to me it is best avoided. In the commotion for 'trying' for the 'best' , often the 'second best' goes unnoticed. Here is where I try to seize the opportunity. However , nowadays there is heavy competition for even the 'Second best' since as I mentioned there is a 'quality' depreciation overall..:) (Lol.. how it fits !).

And....

Yes.. coming back to that 'Hopeless Romantic' mentioned in the title. No prizes for guessing who it is. I am in that stage of my life where every other peer I meet is either committed , engaged or married.!. And a colleague (irritatingly) reminded me that I am now 24 , and if I ever had to be in a relationship , it should have happened by now. His logic was simple. He said , nowadays, all the good ones are 'picked up' maximum by 17 and even 'leftovers' are being 'grabbed' before 20..! I showed him back this (below) picture to tell him why I am yet to fall in a relationship...

He put a smiley and wrote 'fool' and then sent me this (below) picture as attachment through Email as a reply....

P.S. I actually consider myself as a 'regular' blogger.... And if there is any 'irregularity' , you know on 'whom' I am likely to fall back to restore the 'regularity'..Here's hoping to meet you all with that person soon :) Cheers.

Turn to Chapter 1 , Page 4 , Para 3...

2012-04-07T19:14:00.001+05:30

I am made to seriously lament my lack of decent articulation skills for two consecutive posts now. This is because when I want to write about The Rahul Dravid , my vocabulary seems to be very limited and I have a fear that I may end up not expressing who HE was and what HE truly epitomizes. More so because , every time during this past month when I sit down to write about him , I would stumble upon truck load of 'tributes' written by journalists , commentators , fellow players etc.(I read all of them and I found Rohit Brijnath's and Vijetha's tribute to be the best).

I can probably understand why there was/is an overdose of Dravid during the past month.I think, when Dravid's retirement came, people suddenly felt guilty that somewhere down the line they have failed to recognize his contribution.In a way, people redeemed their guiltiness by being part of Dravid's farewell through media/FB/twitter.(This yours truly post is also an attempt to wipe off some guiltiness).But hey.. quite frankly , the man deserves this overdose and I certainly dont mind it.

That trademark forward defense that is etched in the minds of cricket lovers....

There were two ominous signs in 2011 before the Australian Tour that said to a lot of us that Dravid's end is nearer.One,he was dropping a lot more than he held.(As Vijetha pointed out,he himself hated it). Dravid takes his catching seriously and has set high standards.The reflex you associate with him began to fade.(As a kid , I used to imitate his famous reflex swivel at silly point to avoid a cut shot being hit at him.)

Second is that he began to show something that we would not normally associate with him.For the first time we could see Dravid's ego coming to the forefront. It happened right throughout the press conferences at England when he scored those centuries. There was a certain high headedness and a tone of arrogance and anger (which I admit is totally normal and understandable but could have been avoided). Sadly that continued in his Bradman oration too. Quotes like "He (BRADMAN)was, primarily, like me, a No.3 batsman. It is a tough, tough job. We're the ones who make life easier for the kings (Read SACHIN) of batting, the middle order that follows us.".Very true but this also could have been avoided. However that should not take away the quality of that speech. The way he subtly took a dig at all the critics of BCCI and IPL should be appreciated... Many felt until that Bradman oration, his bat did the talking...

The most painful sight in cricket is to watch a legend struggle. He was the best 'leaver' of the ball I know. He was always sure of his off stump...He could always read the swing on the ball.. But.. everything just vanished from him one australian summer morning.. And then the inevitable came.. his decision to retire and many of us felt that the timing of that to be perfect. The Australian tour has been inexplicable for many reasons and Dravid and Laxman’s failure is surely surprising.

Frankly many of us (I certainly) hated him simply because he was text book. He was conventional. One look at Rahul Dravid , and you know whatever field he entered, he would have been amongst the best.. If he had been into medicine , he would have been among the best doctors in this country.. If he had been into other sports , he would have equally achieved greatness. If you had asked him to do CA, he would have cleared it with a Rank. And that's precisely why we hate him. He was the 'samathu payan' we all don’t want to be.(And I am particularly very averse to samathu payans). We cannot imagine him being a sport. He would not have played pranks on anyone in his early days. Yes... And At school, He would have been his teacher's favorite student..(In my opinion, to be a teacher's favorite student is the worst attribute one can have). And to add to all that , this guy was the smartest around.(Certain kind of jealousy creeps in). If only he was a bit of the explosive type he would have upstaged Sachin Tendulkar as the poster boy of Indian Cricket overnight.I remember me and my friends discussing the James Anderson Vs Rahul Dravid spells on FB.(Personally I felt their duel last summer was the best test cricket I had seen for a long time. Both were playing chess against each other.) That was when a non male member of the human species entered the discussion and the topic eventually digressed to their looks.I admit both Dravid and Anderson give doubts to even men on their straightness but what is important is we must all ensure that they both are remembered only for cricketing reasons.

I explained why I hated him. Let me tell you why I loved him.He was one cricketer who maximized his skills to the most.As Laloo Prasad Yadav once put it , he did not milk the cow but cowed the milk.He was completely aware of his strengths. His patience was his strength. He could wait for an hour for that one loose ball to be put away.I remember an ODI against Kenya during 1997 when he struggled to get off.All his shots found the fielders. He just could not accelerate nor could he get out... And after that match he was dropped from the ODI team. He went back to chinnaswamy... He worked on his placement.. He worked on his strike rate..He put in the effort.. He worked for hours...He came back to the ODI side.. He played the 1999 World Cup.. He just did not play.. He was the highest run getter in 1999 World Cup. That says about the man..This friends,is purely the triumph of human will power.

He has played some fantastic ODI innings.One of my favorite amongst those was the innings he played at Bristol in 2007 Vs England. The track was a belter. Sachin scored 99 and had left. Dravid was there with Dhoni for the last 10 overs. A player of the classical mode and as someone who was accused of wasting balls in his early days, he proved all critics wrong as he kept square driving the bowlers(particularly Broad) through point and one particular square drive(of anderson)actually went for a six over point. That was the first and last time I saw someone scoring a six with a square drive!.During the press conference, he humbly said 'it was one of those days'. He still holds the record(along with Agarkar)for the fastest fifty by an Indian(21 balls).We could clearly see the effort he had put in.

So.. what was Dravid's greatest test innings ?

I would certainly rate his 3 centuries now at England among the best I have seen. His 180 with Laxman changed Indian Cricket forever.His innings at leeds in 2002 along with Sanjay Bangar is one of the best test match batting partnerships I have seen.(That without doubt would certainly be Sanjay Bangar's best).His double century at pakistan in 2004 has special historical significance.His 2 fifty's at Jamaica are rated amongst the best innings that were not converted into centuries.I was too young to remember his first century at SA.People rate it high.(Infact I dont remember that innings).His exploits at adelaide in early 2003 is test batting at its best. It was near miracle innings. My favorite would be that.

The problem with Rahul Dravid's innings is that the highlights package wont show you his class. That is because watching Sachin attack gives us Joy.., Watching Laxman's wrists gives us Goosebumps.., Watching Dravid leave the ball gave us assurance , Watching him defend , gave us reassurance... Sadly his 'defence' and 'leaves' will not be part of any highlights package. As Anil Kumble put it , he gave such an assurance that the batsman at the other end would take that extra risk.Since Dravid was at the other end, a Tendulkar or Ganguly would play/ are allowed to play that one indiscrete shot (and this would be part of the highlights package).That for me is working as a team.. For him the team came to the forefront.He declared when Sachin was on 194..(That is also probably the only controversy in his entire career.). He kept and opened even though he did not like it.

We will miss you champ.. We have all been watching and enjoying the way you check your shoulder...Your stance.. Your sweat…Your straight elbow..The way you would hunch on your front foot and then the how your body would bounce as if it had hit a trampoline and the way you would quickly balance of your back foot which would make way for your bat to create an arc for that beautiful square cut of yours...

It is important that India stops searching for next Rahul Dravid.That would be very unfair on the person who is going to occupy no.3. For Dravid will be the greatest No.3 in my books. Next person will simply be the next person.It is important for the Kohli's and Rahane's to understand that they cannot and should not replicate Dravid's style. They have to be themselves...

It wouldn't be a surprise if Dravid releases an autobiography. Can't be sure whether it would be sans controversy, but I am sure among other things it will have its share of good humour. From his columns and prepared speeches , we now know Dravid is a good writer.Probably good is an understatement...

I will be there on April 21 at MAC just for you... Here's hoping that part of your swansong lasts a little longer that evening...

Being Appatucker...

2012-02-07T00:36:00.002+05:30

The Moment....

It is special.(Even considering the time delay it took).When the D day arrived ,the usual symptoms like body shake , excessive sweating , loss of appetite etc happened.[I have experienced it 7 times totally..{including PE 1 , PE 2 etc. (These are situations where clarification becomes an absolute necessity)}].(OK.I accept , if you keep on reading my blogs , you would become an expert in BODMAS/BEDMAS rules).Ok.Without digressing further , we will proceed.The result was announced around 12 Noon , but I was refreshing the page every 5 minutes from 8 AM.Now, whoever writes these scripts , I dont know.From 11o Clock , I was inside a conference room , attending an all India Con Call training on FEMA basics.Around 12 Noon , when it became unbearable(combination of frustration of delay of results and irritation because of the monotonous tone of the speaker), the page suddenly refreshed. These are moments in your life when you can actually hear your heart beat.(Even writing about this now sends shockwaves within me).I put the roll no. and the captcha alphanumerics in the correct case(indha tensionla idhu vera), and I hit enter. I saw the result and rest is history....

Immediately I excused myself from the training and called my mother(who gave a reaction like 'OK.. I knew it would happen'!)...And , I stepped out of office and took a stroll on the Nungambakkam High Road , just to experience an 'high' which a professor during my foundation (PE 1) days used to tell. It seems he felt after clearing THE exams as if every passerby at Nungambakkam(Near ICAI) was looking at him and admiring..(nennapu thaan..) He added that he felt as if an entire crowd in a moving bus were popping their heads out and wishing him...He therefore wanted us (all students then) to experience the same.(and for experiencing that, we had to work hard aam). And so I went...

Thereafter.....

The fact of the matter is nothing of that sort happened for me... :(. No one were popping their heads out and wishing me... The truth infact was , even at 1 AM , I was shivering (partly because of the untimely cold weather in Chennai and partly due to {mix of 'end' of nervousness and 'beginning' of excitement.}). However..That too was short lived.I thought I would be on cloud nine if I cleared.But no.. It was just that moment. That's about it.To be frank , there was no 'Kick feeling' at all.(sappunu irundhuchu..). Probably this is how people feel after marriage too??.

I could have written this blog on the day of the result.However, a colleague of mine told me that I feel 'sour' because the *feeling* has not yet sunk in to me. And hence..I waited for sometime to see whether 'it' sinks in somewhat inside me so that I would be able to bring out the complete picture. I gave time to myself , just to see whether the way I felt became different... 3 weeks later .. Here I am.. feeling different , not exactly in the sense my colleague told , but I got a completely new perspective about my life and most importantly , I killed all the demons inside me... I think I am fresh now than ever before with a clear mind.. For me , this result is like finding that one missing piece in an otherwise solved jigsaw puzzle.

Going forward....

The thing with this course is , at the end of four to five years after beginning , you can either become completely haughty or you can become extremely depressed with self doubts looming large all over you. The middle one's are extremely rare to find.The thing about haughtiness is the fact that its like body odour , you wont realise it until others point it out to you.(And it smells bad.) You try to convince yourself that you aren't haughty but you continue to walk two steps above the ground. This is bad but it does minimal damage to the self. Not like its antonym , which is excruciatingly painful.

If you flunk a couple of times (in my case , 2 years before even writing the exams), suddenly the anger in you to prove others wrong would fade , and you would end up proving things to yourself.You would feel insignificant in world.To be frank , for a major part of the past three to four years , I did not live , I existed... You will end up fighting not only the exams , but a battle with yourself. The motivation levels would drop. The evenings would become very depressing. Murphy would seem to be in full form.You start hating life and suicidal thoughts would haunt you.(After one very bad day in office a couple of years back , I actually planned to jump from a suburban train between Kodambakkam and Nungambakkam station.In fact I went and marked a place..!. Thankfully , something stopped me from doing that silly act then.Something inside me said , lets fight it out..To think of that idiocy of mine now seems very funny..)To come out of that and win requires a motivation and determination of a completely different kind(which lesser mortals do not know or understand - Read haughty idiots)... People should understand, every person has his or her own problems for failure... Having a very very low self esteem is surely one very big problem.

Epitome of Self Confidence..

I have always felt that if ever low self-esteem were a physical condition such as cancer or AIDS, or a potentially life-threatening habit like smoking and alcohol and drug abuse,the Goverment would declare a national emergency,pump in massive funds and organise a mass publicity campaign to combat it...Think about it.. 'Confidence' is such a crucial factor to a happy and fulfilling life. It influences your success at work, your family life, relationships and leisure activities.It affects your performance in everything you do. A belief in one's self is without doubt the greatest asset of all.Even great wealth and fame cant compensate for a poor self-image. A Man who doubts himself is like a man who enlists in the ranks of the enemy and bears arms against himself.He makes his failure certain by being the first to be convinced of it. - Alexandre Dumas.

CONFIDEN'T' Karunas explaining how he can correct 1000 figures.. - Importance of Confidence

People who lack confidence and self belief always underachieve.! They're less adventurous and less likely to get most out of life.They are prone to stress related problems , including anxiety (imagine the pressure if that is in addition to CA exam anxiety),eating disorders and mental health problems...

If only I had great articulation skills , I could have given you an heart wrenching story (a la vikraman) but I could not and hence did not. It took a lot of time,effort and pain for me to come out from where I was. I cant confidently say I am out of it completely. However , I have understood , every person has his strength and weakness. Its all about maximising the strength and minimising the weakness.The good thing now is , I have become very cool.I am not at all perturbed about any problem that comes my way (For I have gone through this and there cannot be something worse than this) and I am handling all that with considerable ease. That is good. Very good. I now want to enjoy life. I have missed 2 seasons of IPL , a world cup , SA tour of India, India tour of SA , 2 Champions League , Aus tour of India ,An exciting Ashes etc.. Lot of backlog needs to be cleared... is it not ?:)

Let me accept the fact.Becoming a CA was a dream for me.It has happened ! It is very very important for people to live their dreams. It is a special feeling. Unfulfilled ambitions are the worst thing a person can have... If you want something very very badly , you will get it.. It may come late .. But it will come.. Believe..

Funny how things change with postive results and very ironical that 2012 is synonymous with apocalypse , for it is the year where I begin.(Please.. the world should not end now..)Does this angry young man still feel that life is unfair..?.. Yes.. He does.. He has reasons for it.. In future he may add to that profile of his that life is unfair but its still good..:) Now.. There you see a change..Dont you? (Hopefully , going forward no more depressing posts).. All seems well. Hakuna Matata :)(At least temporarily).

The strength I had during my school and college days vanished in the past four years.. All I want is to regain it. Yes.. I want that CHUTZPAH I once had back... and if that happens.. I am back completely...

"Some failure in life is inevitable.. It is impossible to live without failing in something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well never lived at all.In which case , you failed by default" - J K Rowling

Chennai 600005. - A Love Story.

2012-01-15T02:30:00.004+05:30

"The whole thing was played on a low, turning pitch,
Pocked with crescendos rabid and rich....
Wild exultations and then groans of despair,
Appeals to the umpire cutting the air....
When day’s play was over..it wasn’t for me,
The music bowled on and was served up for tea...

Ceaseless discussions on technique and form,
Re-hashes, re-caps and replays were the norm...
Then out to the yard with caps, ball and bat,
And as darkness descended the cries of “howzat”..
Echoed down 'gullies', cleared birds from the thickets,
The volume as loud as in match-winning wickets.." - JAMES MORGAN(modified)

In the usually hot march of 1998 , there was this 10 year old boy ,who bunked school on a friday and went to see a India Vs Australia Test Match at Chepauk along with his uncle.There began his tryst with MAC(Destiny??).

A View of Chennai 600005 (CHEPAUK) from a plane-(Click on the photo to expand)

The excitement had started a week before. 5 days before the test match, I went to the stadium to buy the tickets. I bought two tickets.It was Rs.400 per person for all the 5 days (Expensive those days)in the Essar Stand A of the old MAC. I came back home and gave it to my mom and asked her to keep it very very safe. So.. Where did she keep ?.. She took them and kept it in the drawing room table draw !. Apart from the tickets , the draw contained hairband with some hair , medical bills , tablets , doctor prescription , loose change , provison store list ,EB card etc. It was clumsy to say the least. At School , I would all day think about the safety of the ticket.A lot of things would run in my mind. What if my mother disposes it unknowingly ? What if the someone flicks it ? What if my father accidentally loses it .? What if the ticket was fake.?.. For four days that week , I would rush back home from school and head straight to the draw. I would breathe easily only after seeing it. I would then take the ticket in my hand , go to the window (for sunlight) and look at the hologram of the TNCA affixed from different angles and would satisfy myself that the ticket isn't fake.During nights , I would wake up and on the pretext of going to the bathroom would go the draw and look at the tickets and ensure myself that it is safe. Yes.. It meant so much to me.

A view from Pavilion Terrace - Year 1998

Now , the D DAY arrived. I woke up very very early and was vomiting with excitement all morning. Now my uncle had to accompany me. I spoke to him the previous night and asked him to come early .Now these uncles are always known to disrespect punctuality.He was no different. I was getting restless. He finally came around 8 30 and we both then went to Hotel Sukha Nivas (Right opposite to the apartment that I lived in LUZ) and parcelled Idly's for our lunch. That walk from Sukha Nivas(Luz) to Tirumailai (probably 50 Metres) seemed eternity. When we were waiting for the train to start , people in the train informed us that Azharuddin had won the toss and India would be batting .The train started and finally I reached the stadium at around 10 am. We entered the gates and I was greeted with huge deafening cheer and sounds from loud paper trumpets.It was electric. There were no security checks then as it is nowadays. The ticket checking lady inquired me why I was late. I pointed my fingers at my uncle.She laughed and let us in. We proceeded towards the stairs and the moment for which I was waiting arrived. The first bit of International cricket that I saw was Navjot Singh Sidhu edging a ball from Paul Reiffel between the slips and the echo of the ball crashing into the advertisement boards.Few hours later came a man for whom the entire stadium was waiting. The second wicket had fallen. People were cheering for Sidhu's dismissal !. From a corner I could see... Yes.. There he was... Sachin Tendulkar was making his way in from the Anna Pavillion... This was my first glimpse of God.

At the Victoria Hostel Road Entrance to the Stadium - Anna Pavilion

This series was built as the 'Sachin Vs Warne' series. (That was how it turned out to be in the end.) Sachin Tendulkar came to the crease and he had to face Warne.

Ball 1 -> Sachin stepped out and Cover drove for a Boundary.There was a huge roar. The very first ball that Sachin faced was sent to the boundary.
Ball 2- -> Defence
Ball 3---> Defence
Ball 4---> Defence
Ball 5---> Sachin went for another extravagant cover drive , the ball took the edge and Mark Taylor at the slips catched it at around shoulder height. There was stunned silence. I could actually hear Ian Healy scream with happiness.Sachin was out for 4 from 5 Balls.. !

But that was not the story of this match....

As Murphy would have it,SACHIN hit 155* on the fourth day(Monday) and I was ORDERED to go to school.That 155* was the innings in which he tore Shane Warne apart by slog sweeping him from the rough(footmarks) outside his leg stump.(Practice given by L Sivaramakrishnan).That was the innings in which he first employed his now trademarked paddle sweep to counter the turn from the rough.Ian Chappel regards this innings as the best he has seen from the master.India won the test comfortably , largely due to Sachin.

People trying to see the action through a Vantage Point at Chepauk Railway Station

My Intention through this post is not to revel on the history of the game at Chepauk. That is a job best left to Mohandas Menon's of the game. No one can deny Chepauks significant share in history of the game. People can never forget the Tied test , Dean Jones's near death double century , Saeed Anwar's 194(which has now been broken thrice , Sehwag's 300 on a placid pitch(which I witnessed bunking college)and many more. But according to me , the story of Chepauk is all about three great test matches. One was the test match that I referred above. Second is the test match between India and Pakistan played in 1999. Third is the very famous 2001 Australia Test Match.

The actual View from the Vantage Point - World cup 2011 Eng vs SA

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The second incredible story of MAC happened in the year 1999. This was when Pakistan and India met in bilateral series after a hiatus of 12 years. The atmosphere was tense as these matches were played in the background of Kargil War. This test was completely worth of all the hype surrounding its start. Pakistan team was filled with great bowlers and incredible batting line up and India prior to this series were unbeatable at home. The battle of Sachin with Waqar, Wasim and Saqlain was much talked about prior to the series. The game began and both teams were neck and neck after the first innings. India gained a slender lead of 16 after the first innings.

Pakistan began their second innings on a positive note and in spite of losing wickets at regular intervals, it seemed like they would set India a huge total to chase. Afridi hit a great hundred. Ijaz and Inzamam also chipped in. Pakistan was well on course for a huge total. At 275/4, already leading by 259 India’s chances seemed glum when Venkatesh Prasad probably bowled one of the best spells of his career. He took 6/33 as Pakistan collapsed to 286 as their last 6 wickets fell for just 11 runs. India began their second innings needing 271 to win with more than 2 days to go.

Indian second innings did not get to an ideal start as Waqar dismissed both the Indian openers with just 6 runs on the board as Sachin Tendulkar joined Rahul Dravid in the middle. Both these players took India to safety without further loss and it was all set for a brilliant 4th day.

Sachin backed himself up against his longtime nemesis Waqar & Wasim. Sachin's determination was more fierce than Chennai's heat. The wicket turned out to be a two-paced one. When the fast bowlers bowled it was reverse swinging and when the spinners bowled the ball turned square.

I did not go to this match.I was watching it on TV. Wasim Akram’s peach on the fourth morning went through the wall’s defenses (A Video of this dismissal is put in one of my previous blog posts) as India was in early trouble at 50/3. Azhar and Ganguly (one pitch catch it was) got out to poor decisions to leave India tottering at 82/5 when Nayan Mongia walked out to join Sachin Tendulkar.

Both these players saw India through to lunch and in a sedate partnership took India to tea with 5 wickets still in hand.After tea,the mood changed, Sachin and Mongia had decided to attack and the runs flowed quickly and India were racing towards the target. It was exhilarating to watch the proceedings as the bowling attack of Pakistan was brilliant and the world’s best player was involved in a fierce battle to win the game for his country. Those who witnessed this innings must consider themselves privileged . Sachin was counter attacking Saqlain on a wicket which was turning square. He was battling back spasm too in the middle of all this which made this innings even greater.

Sachin during his 'backbone' innings against Pakistan - 1999

India was 218/5 with just 53 to get and we could see Pakistan losing hope. They had taken the new ball to no avail as Mongia and Sachin were scoring runs at a fair clip. This is when Mongia decided to display one of the biggest brain freezes of his career. Trying to loft Wasim over the top, got himself caught at mid-off leaving a struggling Sachin to take India to victory along with the tail. Anshuman Gaekwad, the then coach in an interview later said that if he was in charge of selection , he would have dropped Nayan Mongia straight away. Sachin got out to Saqlain trying finishing the game with only 13 needed and the Indian tail collapsed in a hurry as India fell short of the Pakistan total.It was Hari (My Neighbour) , a class XII Vidya Mandir student then , who explained to me what Saqlain was planning. He said he expected Sachin to go over long on/mid wicket area as the long on was removed and brought in. He also said Saqlain would lure him with flight and he said he expected a leading edge if Saqlain bowled a doosra . And that exactly happened.!(What a cricketing acumen he had.! I realised it was not cricket I was watching , but Chess.)The criticism that Sachin is incapable of finishing matches started from here. And the now famous 'Sachin century adicha thotruvom' began from here. After battling for close to 7 hours , the Great Man had to depart, reason - one bad shot. After a display of divine batsmanship, a needless shot ended it all. Truly it was a heartbreaking loss and a very hard one to take as if you are an Indian fan. It was so near yet so far for the Indian team.However, The story of this match does not end here too.

When the game was over unlike all the other grounds in India, in spite of an Indian loss the crowd stuck around. The Chennai crowd rose in appreciation of the Pakistan team as the victorious neighbors took a victory lap in India. Who would have thought that it was even possible? It was a brilliant moment as the fans clapped till the end and it was a victory for the game. Sharayaar Khan , the manager of the Pakistan team then , now a diplomat wrote in his the following "Before the 1999 series it was winning that mattered and not the skill and art of cricket. Post-1999 (Chennai Standing Ovation)things changed and perhaps for the first time the attitude of fans and players of the two countries underwent a sea change.The reaction of the Pakistanis to the behaviour of the Chennai crowd after Pakistan won the Test match in cricket was one of awe." Cricket is a sport and it’s beyond borders and the crowd that day proved the same.

The very famous Standing Ovation given by Chennai crowd to Pakistani players during their victory lap - Something that was unimaginable in the background of 'Kargil' episode.

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Dravid unleashing champagne after winning the 2001 Border Gavaskar Trophy - Anna Pavilion

The third incredible story of Chepauk to me is the third test of the 2001 Border Gavaskar Trophy. I desperately wanted to watch this.(After what happened in Kolkotta, who would not desire?).I still remember myself and Kedharnath literally begging for tickets from my class teacher (Kalyani Srinivasan Ma'm). She had once hinted , someone close to her was a TNCA member.But she disappointed saying there was too much demand and it was impossible.

Sachin with the Border-Gavaskar Trophy 2001.

However, a guy named Deepak Kochar who was in C section in school , gave me the ticket for the second day. And so I went. The things that I saw that day I cannot forget. The first day was a boring day with only 3 wickets falling and Australia slamming 330 odd runs. During the second day , all the Australians were all out before lunch with Harbhajan and Sachin taking the remaining 7 wickets.

Steve Waugh and his team mates appreciating the crowd after they lose a thriller

The most famous dismissal was of Steve Waugh's who was given out 'Handling the ball'. Remember , there were no screens in the stadiums those days and I thought it was LBW only to be corrected by a fellow spectator who had radio with him.

Steve Waugh Dismissed -Handling the Ball

I could not watch Sachin's batting (who once again scored a Century) as Shiv Sundar Das and Rahul Dravid saw the day through. What happened the rest of the test match , I need not say. Its embedded in our veins. So.India won by 2 wickets and quite fittingly Harbhajan hit the winning runs.

Bhajji hitting the winning runs - Scenes etched in memory (2001)

It was the series that changed Indian Cricket forever..

There are other matches at Chepauk that are worth talking about too.There was this ODI against England that I went when I was in Class 9. Myself , Mithran and Kedhar went to that match. I still remember Mr. Neelakantan (Then Principal), granting me holiday for stating the truth that I was indeed going for the match.This was the match in which the big screen(showing replays) was first installed for a match in India. TNCA had brought this from MCG and it replaced the traditional old scoreboard near the D stand.

Also , I have witnessed 2nd Day of the test match between India and Australia in 2004(Courtesy: Kamesh who gave the tickets). This was the famous series where Aussies finally conquered the 'final frontier'.This test match was a shame since , the last day was washed out with rain and India needed 200 odd runs with all 10 wickets intact. I have witnessed Lara batting here and hitting a 50. This happened when I was in college. It was an ODI match in 2007.What an experience that was.

Also , can we forget the chase of 387 against England in 2008(the test match which was shifted to Chennai after Mumbai Blasts) where Sachin and Yuvraj took India home after Sehwag's blitzkrieg 80 odd.Not surprisingly, this is a test match that I missed.It was like Sachin answering the demons of 1999 from the very place where he could not finish it off.

Sachin , Yuvraj and the Scoreboard - Says it all

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I am not dwelling on the IPL. Afterall its a domestic competition.We are happy that Chennai's Super Kings are the Manchester United of IPL.Ask Michael Hussey or Doug Bollinger , they will confirm that they are loved here more than they can even imagine in Australia.The only IPL match that I saw was CSK vs Kochi Tuskers Kerala.(That was the last match that a franchise called Kochi Tuskers played.)

The IPL Fever - Sea of Yellow

And as we all now know , the stadium is renovated and its looking good.Previously it was a concrete jungle. Now better. Much better.Great stands , full seating (unlike squatting). However the G , H and I stands (empty yellow chairs that you often witness ) are not allowed to be occupied and we hear that this is because CMDA approval were not obtained for erecting those stands.

View from 'A' Stand during Ranji match(TN vs Haryana)

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There is however a thing about this beautiful Chepauk (apart from the stinking Buckhingam Canal that runs closeby)that irks me. Yes.. from the year 1996 to 2011 ,the MLA of Chepauk constituency was this person named M.Karunanidhi. Enough said I guess. Ha ha...

Now each one of us have got their own story about the magic we experience at Chepauk , dont we ?.. Hoping the Chepauk Magic Continues.

During the India Vs WI ODI on Dec 11th 2011 - View from 'D' Upper

Cricket lovely Cricket,
At MAC where I first saw it;
Cricket lovely Cricket,
At MAC where I first saw it;
Warne tried his best
But Sachin won the Test.
They gave the crowd plenty fun;
It was the 'First Test' and India Won.

Snow Therapy...

2011-11-28T12:21:00.006+05:30

They reached the hotel just before the nightfall.The tiredness of the journey was nullified on sight of snow.It was the first time in their lives that they had seen snow in real.Kashmir was much beyond their imagination....

They checked into their room. The night had set in.The room resembled a wood house.The walls had been painted brown and textured accordingly to give that effect.The room had a fireplace.There was no fan. Thankfully there was no TV.He ordered their dinner through room service.The room boy was bewildered... No tourist has visited Kashmir in deep winter.. On his request the room boy lit the fire at the fire place and left.The fire was soothing...

As an outsider one both loves and hates an average Kashmiri winter. The cold is severe that the hands become clammy and the chill forces one to breathe into his/her own hands to keep them warm .The warmth is temporary. One has to repeat the process a few minutes later because cold takes over again. Suddenly all you long for are warm covers or the sensation of a summer sun of Chennai..! But again,when one experiences the rise of the mercury in the valley, it is depressing. For everyone comes here to escape the heat and they hate the sun.Locals differ though.

He now turned towards her.She was admiring the hot red flames; their constant dancing was calming her nerves. They had trudged through the snow and now basked in the warmth in the cozy room. Bitter cold existed behind the closed door; and now, as she looked, there seemed to be frozen icicles hanging from the gutters. To her, it seemed, two sides on a coin; the first, the wet, miserable weather outside where only snow falling in dizzying speed existed. And in here, where one instantly felt as if they had stepped in a warm bath.The heat from the fireplace warmed them as she slowly gazed out the room window. She could make out that frost covered the edges of the window and snow was falling gently from the sky. As far as she could see, the ground was covered in a thick blanket of snow...

He went to his bed with hope as the only one thing in his mind... The Doctor had said high altitude would cure her...Hence of all the places the doctor had recommended , Kashmir was his choice...Sometimes he felt the doctor's argument irrational.Even the doctor had said once science does have limited explanations.... And.. Just before he closed his eyes, he looked at her once more. She appeared tranquil. Surely altitude has had some effect on her and he only hoped that the serenity of the place cured her insanity once for all...!

If 'UPA - 2' was the Indian Cricket Team that lost at England 0-4.

2011-11-10T03:29:00.005+05:30

The loss (Complete Rout) to England earlier this year at England in the test series was unacceptable to lot of Indian Cricket Fans. It made England the No.1 Test team(deserving I would say) and India slipped to third place (this also deserving I would say). Rahul Dravid said something at the end of that series that I was impressed with. He said "We expected England to be good but we expected ourselves to be better. Unfortunately we were not".

I was upset but there were more depressing things happening at home with the functioning of UPA - 2. As Azim Premji had said , the Government lost its credibility. They simply fretted at crisis situations and indecisiveness at the top struck them hard.The statements that they were making everyday were humorous to say the least.So how would have this UPA 2 reacted to this loss suffered and what would have been their statements if they were not politicians but cricketers instead..?? What would have these people said about the humiliating loss when asked about by reporters.??
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1) P Chidambaram

Q)Sir.. What were the reasons for such a humiliating loss.?
A)Let us first understand that this loss cannot be termed as 'Intelligence Failure'. I had already shared 'intelligence' that the ball would seam around viciously in England to the other team members.So,please don't attribute the loss to 'intelligence' failure.

Q)If then what else sir ?
A)I had asked the team members to stop playing cricket since I knew the ball would seam around. We were infact even ready to sit and talk with the English Team members. But we did not because they were not ready to cease violence.

Q)Sir , you are not answering the question.
A)See.. I can tell you the reason. The reason for the failure was because of the presence of 'Saffron Terror'.

Q)Can you please explain further.
A)The English bowlers were 'terrorising' the batsmen of our team with vicious swing. The English bowlers turned the ball into saffron colour from red by applying some substance.

Q)Now that you have lost, what is the future course of action
A)I have asked to setup NSG commandos base at all metros. They will be alerted to deal with the situation as and when they arise appropriately.

Q)It seems Pranabh had sent a note during the series saying that you could have averted loss.
A)If Pranabh has sent a note , ask him to respond.I have no comments to make.
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2)Manish Tewari

Q)Sir.. What were the reasons for such a humiliating loss.?
A) I have no time for responding to Press. All I can say is England were corrupt from 'Head to Toe.'

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This statement of Manish Tewari was met with widespread criticism.Therefore two days later came Rashid Alvi to offer apology for the statement made by Manish Tewari and offer the correct explanations.

3)Rashid Alvi

Q)Can you specify the reasons for this failure.?
A)I will tell you the reason.But first let me offer apologies on behalf of Mr.Manish Tewari.He had made such a statement with anger. Everyone makes mistakes.Its important we forgive the statment made by Mr.Manish Tewari.Also his statements were taken out of context. You see , he is so upset that he is even refusing to be the spokesperson of the team herein afterwards. The reason for the defeat you see is nothing but the presence of 'Foreign forces'. We suspect the motive of 'United States of America' behind it.Its all part of a conspiracy.

Q)You are blaming the U.S.A,but they don't play cricket, then how could it be their motive?
A)This is all part of a big conspiracy thing that you people won't understand. I know its been happening.
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4)Pranabh Mukherjee

Q)Can you specify the reasons for this failure.?
A)You people have to understand that loss in cricket games is 'decontrolled'.It cannot be controlled by us.

Q)Is it not a irresponsible statement to make?
A)See.. We have already appealed against the use of some substance (Saffron in colour) by English bowlers to swing the ball.Since the matter is 'Sub-Judice' , I would not like to comment further.

Q)Is it true that you sent a note to Chidambaram saying that the loss could be averted?
A) It was sent by someone under me , but not me. They are not my views.In any case they are intra team notes and I don't understand why the general public is bothering about it.But I deny that the our team performance was 'unacceptable'.

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LATER they gave a joint press meet stating that the note had been written by someone else and Mr.Chidambaram had quoted "I am happy(!??) with the statement made by Pranabh. The matter is closed."

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5)Digvijay Singh

Q)Sir.. What were the reasons for such a humiliating loss.?
A)This is not the time to speculate, as all branded balls, including the 'ISI' marked ones, are affected with some saffron substance.It seems English bowlers purchased it from RSS & BJP and hence the ball swung viciously which could not be handled by our team members.

Q)How could English bowlers lay hands on these balls?
A) I have evidence that the RSS and the BJP has been supplying these balls to England team members. I will show the proof tomorrow.In any case, our performance has not been as bad as the 'Karnataka' Ranji Team. First let them perform. Then we can perform well.

Q)Then what is the solution?
I think the best way to tackle this is to appoint Rahul Gandhi as the Captain of the Indian Cricket team. Also, the RSS members are not allowing the team to perform. They are conspiring against the minorities. It is their plan A , B and C.

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6)Kapil Sibal

Q)What would you attribute this humiliating loss to ?
A)You must be Joking.There was NO LOSS. Infact there was 'Zero Loss'. The Media has hyped it up.

Q)Sir, it is you who are joking. How could you say there was no loss ?
A)I had eliminated board exams and similarly I had also eliminated victory or defeat in a bilateral series. The cricket was the winner. No one lost.(??!!)

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7)Manmohan Singh

There has been no official word from him.Apparently he is attending G8 countries meeting.But he is to meet Select group of Television News Editors next week.

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P.S.

Since UPA is in deep crisis in its second innings , they tried inducting VVS Laxman into the Cabinet.However even VVS Laxman failed to perform on hearing this news.

Sprinkled like Asafoetida..

2011-08-17T01:40:00.003+05:30

In spite of all the suffering and effort that life invariably implies, there are some moments which makes you feel that there's more to life than mere pain... Life I believe will someday give you opportunities where you can possibly redeem happiness equivalent to the pain you have suffered.Its like a token..I think it works in the reverse also...

Well.. How can you possibly explain the joy of walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air or listening to timeless music at midnight or freaking out at dance floor or a bike ride at 4 am on the beach road or the satisfaction of understanding a work of classic vernacular literature or THAT moment where you shed all your fears and say 'attack me now'...! I have experienced all of the above recently.All these are nothing but pure happiness.

However , for the past three years ,I have been leading a life that almost resembles an individual who has suffered a 'love failure'...(Oh.. I have once again began my sorrow tales)Yes.I did not get that one thing that I desired most in life.I was distraught and I am still.Here is where people around me left me stranded.

When someone attributes my failures to my complacency , I simply laugh and say yes... However deep inside I know that complacency is not the reason because complacency occurs only when you think you know everything. My case is entirely different. In fact ,I would have been successful if I had been complacent.Confusing ah?. It is not.Being complacent would have meant that I am confident.Mine was opposite. My problem was fear. The fear of failure. Wasim Akram says that the reason Pakistan performed very poorly in 1999 final was because the players were worried about 'what would happen if they lose' and they thought it was the 'be all and end all of everything'. It is not so. Unfortunately that realisation comes later much after the defeat. That's the reason why I feel mental stability , clarity of thoughts and tension free approach are most necessary to overcome hurdles. And.. the universe knows that I lack all three.

Another funny complaint that I often hear people around me say is that the problems in my life are due to the fact that I do not take life seriously... Again I laugh and move away from them (the only reason I go away is if I stay longer ,I might show my temper on them and they would even possibly bloat up like Aunt Marge.)..But only I know that all problems are due to the fact I take life very very very very seriously.. I now think I need to chill..Its again the reverse solution.I need to take it easy.When will people around me realise that ?!

Another complaint which is once again false is that it seems I am not very attached to whatever I do. How do I make them realise that my problem is too much of an attachment. An important fact that I have realised now on from a very important person in my life is anything and everything in this world needs detached attachment.(See.. I am good at oxymorons). Its very important.A very good example that I can quote is not getting angry when Indian Test Cricket Team lost to England. Yes. I wanted India to win.I wanted them to be NO.1. And if they dont perform well, I am obviously disappointed. But at the same time , I am not going to damage myself by getting angry and shouting abuses at them or calling up my friend and lamenting about the non performance of the Team and arguing with them. Absolutely needless.Saves a lot of energy and keeps me calm.Not only in cricket, it needs to be applied to everything.Job,Friends,Parents and whatever.

Now..There's a theory that people quote often to me.Its a variation (with time) of the basic theory that 'Not everyone gets everything'.I often wonder whether this works that way.This theory goes like this.. Lets assume two material rewards A and B which is progressive in nature (i.e after obtaining A , you obtain B). You work very hard to obtain A , and in the end you miss it or you get it delayed.But you don't struggle for B and obtain it very easily. Now there is another person. He gets A now but ends up in life struggling for B and in the end never obtains it.You can substitute anything as A and B but it should be progressive.

So.. As per this.When something gets delayed, does that mean something else (Very special) is waiting.. ? Does it mean that if you do not get now, you will be getting something else later in lieu of the thing that you are not able to get now. For eg: 'A' can be equivalent to 'marrying the person you love most' and 'B' can be equivalent to 'Happy married Life'. Similarly A can be 'Rank in graduation' and B can be 'Job satisfaction'.So you can imagine. If X gets A , he does not get B. If Y does not get B he gets A.How much of the theory is true I do not know.However what I know is this theory is often the best consolation given to a person who has failed.!Even if this theory is not true,it helps people to rise after they fall and that is the reason why I respect this theory. Whatever it is ,I believe there must be just that enough motivation to keep oneself going.Here is where I believe that life sprays just about that enough happiness in times of despair. Motivation is the reason.

Despite all the sprinkled happiness(para 2)on the personal front recently(supposedly for my motivation as I figure it out), I still believe life is unfair. Because life invariably offers pain and pain is one thing my mind refuses to accept anymore.And more so because no amount of happiness can possibly fully redeem pain. Its like compensation money or insurance money offered after disaster.And that is the reason why despite all the small happiness it seeks to give after giving you the pain..

I still hate the concept of Life.

The Curious Case of Chennai's Bus Routes.

2011-07-24T02:50:00.003+05:30

Q)What is the shortest distance between two random points ??. We all know the answer. Don't we?. The answer is 'A Straight Line' .Now the modified question. Q)What is the longest distance between two short distance points ???. The answer - Bus routes in Chennai.!No.Its not a joke.Seriously, I do not expect the bus routes here to be in a straight line. However is it wrong to expect it to be sensible ? I have been searching for some sort of logic in the way these routes have been framed by our authorities.There is none.

I am now quite familiar with majority of the bus routes in Chennai and the truth is its all messy. Even though the quality of buses have improved , it still cannot take away the irritation of travelling in a bus which takes the longest possible route to reach a destination.Take for example the evergreen 5B[T Nagar(Terminus) -> Mylapore (Tank)].The Shortest route is to go straight from T Nagar(Terminus) and then take a right to Nandanam Signal and then proceed straight to reach Mandaveli and Mylapore.What should normally be a 15 minute ride(Nandanam signal permitting) takes 45 mins to 1 hr. Our 5B goes to Saidapet -> Little Mount -> Adyar -> Mandaveli to reach Mylapore.. Imagine an outsider coming to the city and boarding a bus to Mylapore from T Nagar.All he gets travelling by 5B is some free sightseeing of Chennai. He can gawp in awe through the windows when the conductor whistles and says Raj Bhavan,Anna university,Sathya Studio etc..Surely a non chennaitte will remember that to reach mylapore , one must go via Anna University...!. I asked the logic behind 5B route while travelling in 5B to that driver himself.His argument was that this route was framed so that its easy for people in Saidapet and Adyar to reach Mylapore.!.Enna kodumai sir idhu?. The people in Saidapet can reach Mylapore by boarding 45B and people in Adyar can reach Mylapore by boarding 29C.!Why is there a need for 5B then? Bring this point to him and he says 'aamaan illa'!..

The Hero among all routes that I have travelled is 41D[Mandaveli - Avadi].Instead of boarding 41D,You can walk from Mandaveli and reach Anna Nagar earlier. True.I once boarded at Mandaveli around 8 A.M in hope that worst come worst I would be at Anna Nagar by 9.30 A.M and I ended up reaching there only by 10.30 A.M.I just could not quite understand why this bus goes to Nandanam , Ega theatre etc to reach Anna Nagar!.

There is another irritant by the name of 12C [Saligrammam -> Mylapore(Tank)]. I had an irritating experience with this bus when I was in Class X. It was getting late to school and I was crossing Teynampet Signal to catch 12B[Vadapalani ->Foreshore Estate]at SIET.(12B does not stop at Teynampet signal.It turns left and stops next to SIET College which is about 100 Meters away from the signal.) I saw a bus stuggling to get past signal.From a distance it seemed to be 12B.I boarded it and to my horror found it going straight and not turning left.(I had free school bus pass at that time and I could board any bus). I had boarded on 12C..! In a hurry , I got down at Nandanam and ran back to Teynampet to catch 12B...Had I been on the bus without getting down , I would have reached School 1 hr earlier.Felt bad that day , If only all the buses plying to Mylapore had the same bus routes , I would not have experienced that.

Speaking of 12B.I find it as one of the most straight routes in chennai even though it takes an unwanted 'pradhakshanam' around T Nagar.There has been an instance when even the driver of 12B once forgot the routes due to this 'pradakshanam' at T Nagar.Thankfully,he was guided by the passengers.

It was once in Tiruvottiyur that I got to know the real idiocy of MTC bus routes.I had to proceed to Red Hills from there and I got a shock of my life when I inquired about which Bus I had to board and from which side.People there at the Bus stop said to me that I could board any of the buses on either side !!!(opposites)[i.e I could board a bus that is coming from RIGHT TO LEFT or cross the road and board the bus that is coming from LEFT to RIGHT].Queer is it not ?Literally people were running from one end to another to catch any bus that was on that road. I don't remember the Bus Numbers though but this was one experience that I will never forget !

And not to mention 27D[Foreshore Estate -> Villivaakam].It takes 2.5 hrs to reach Villivaakam.It goes to areas in Chennai you have probably never been.Its that long a route.It goes to Pudupet and Egmore to reach Villivaakam.! I realised the best way to reach Villivaakam is to board a 29C , get down at 'Motcham' and board 27D from there.It is possible that you might catch a 27D bus that left the Foreshore Estate Terminus 2 hours before the latest one.!How pathetic.

Heard of same destination and different routes.? You must board 17 series at Kodambakkam.There is plain 17(which almost like all buses is sometimes suffixed with M to charge a Rupee extra) which reaches Nungambakkam. There is 17M/17D both reach broadway. However one among them reaches broadway via mount road (I forgot which one) and another reaches broadway by going to egmore !
Similar is the case of M21G and 45B[Both Guindy to Anna Square but completely different routes].And there are quite a few buses which ply on the same route but with different numbers. Yes. 1 cut and 21 [Both Central -> Mandaveli(same route)].This is what I like to call ''Catch '21' Situation''!.

I do agree the quality of buses have been improved but think of what all one passenger has to endure in addition to confusing routes.You have to watch the board carefully for the following. For there may be an extra 'M',Extn,Cut, and the most important of them all 'Ladies Special'(more so to avoid embarrassment). These rickety bus rides are lot of fun if you know the shortest possible route.The knowledge comes only through frequent travelling and with some bad experiences.I recently heard that google maps have come up with an app for Chennai's bus routes.! Idhu Thevaiya?.It will further confuse the innocent passengers.

Many feel its too late to modify the bus routes since the routes are now embedded into the blood cells of every MTC passenger and any further modifications will result in further confusion.I only hope the authorities simplify routes and revamp it completely in sync with the ambitious 'Metro Rail' once it starts to function.More so since the unified ticketing system for public transportation (The only good thing that Ponmudy did in 5 years) will now be implemented in Chennai. Just wish some sense prevails.

Cold Rice..

2011-07-12T18:38:00.001+05:30

How worse it is to be unemployed at the age of 23...? I sometimes feel shameful.It sometimes tends to affect you emotionally...No denying that it feels pathetic. However , these kind of thoughts occur during the first few days of being officially 'Vetti'... But as in anything , by due passage of time these kind of thoughts and feelings wear off though not compeletely.. You start hearing it often and if you happen to self depreciate yourself (i.e. before others do),believe me it doesn't hurt that much..

The one thing that gives me satisfaction(though touch disappointed) is the fact that I have been busy being vetti (odd na?). There were several things I always wanted to do but never could allocate time for it...I must say I have fulfilled some of them during this time... First and foremost I obtained my driving licence.(Yes.. I also now know when to use the word license and when to use the word licence(which has always wanted to learn and would forget somehow))..I quite surprised myself with the number of books I caught up with. 'Standing My Ground' - Matthew Hayden, The Mahabharatha(finally I read it), The White Tiger and I am halfway through a book which unfortunately brings back some bad memories.. I have desired of maintaining a library of all songs of Illayaraja. I did achieve that partly when I happened to collect around 700 songs from Kamal Hassan movies and I took the pains to have it sorted film wise,director wise, singer wise , music director wise with everything being chronologically listed...and yes.. I finished 'Angry Birds'... I caught up with quite a number of movies.. Almost all releases one could say... Watched Cricket madly.. That is to say not even missing a single ball in a session.. I blogged quite a bit.. I met up with some old friends..

Also as irony would have it , I was invited to attend a seminar on "Work Life Balance".. This was because a lot of people who were to attend backed out( because they had office..!) and I was asked to fill up (by my college mate who works in the firm that conducted the seminar)so that there is at least some size-able crowd... Frankly I went there for the Buffet lunch they had promised to offer.. Alas, I also ended up having food for thought.. I know a lot of people feel that seminars and other such programs are useless.. I am still of the same opinion , but this one was different... Every issue that came up there was which I had already undergone previously which I did not know how to handle... All along the seminar , my thinking was 'Had I known how to handle this before, things could have been different'...

To think that I deserved this break would amount to saying too much.. Simply because , I know a lot of people who deserve a break.. And I know I dont.. But as life would have it , I am now on a pause button.. BUT this button I think is very important to anyone who is emotionally unstable like me.. There is a lot to reflect..You lazily look back at events and try to find faults in your own self..I did.I felt my mistakes were due to age and temper which can easily be put to being immature.. In difficult situations , some people are mature enough early to appreciate the consequence and react accordingly.Some people are overcome by intense anger that their minds cease to think...Easily I belong to the latter category..How much of the past is relevant?. Some are of the opinion that it is totally irrelevant. Learn from the past but do not brood over it say some.Never forget the past say some. I am not sure. But I know that all of us look at the past and surely say 'It could have been better'.I am no different... With all the time I had , I did reflect..

Coming back to vettiness , The secret to enjoy being vetti is the fact that you must not be bored... And I am not bored.. Not yet.. I may be soon.. I know it and that is my fear..:).. Well, Summa irukkarudhu na summa va ?.. It requires talent and I am very talented.. :)

Artistic Terrorists or Terrific Artists ?!!

2011-06-30T17:37:00.002+05:30

I must say I was disappointed to read a news item in TOI during the IPL 4. It was Ishant Sharma's interview after taking a fifer in one of the matches.. It seems Dale Steyn advised him to concentrate on bowling fast and not try to swing the Ball..!

Well we all know what he did to Ricky Ponting in Perth by just swinging the ball...I have always been in awe with pure swing bowlers.. I get disappointed when bowlers compromise swing for speed. I prefer the vice versa.. In my opinion I find players at the International level often undermine the Art of Swing bowling and not much effort is put in learning it.. The world seems to suggest that bowling fast and being a tearaway quick is the only way to pick wickets.. But most batsmen at the International circuit can handle quick bowlers... Only tailenders are troubled by quick bowlers...None can handle genuine swing both ways....It is swing that will trouble the batsmen and get you the wickets... India won the 1983 world cup simply because we swung the ball.. and West Indies bowled Fast.. (Remember Balwinder Singh Sandhu's Inswinger to Gordon Greenidge...?).. James Anderson won the Ashes 2011 for England simply by swinging the ball.. Zaheer Khan's reverse swing won us the World cup.. Ashes 2005 was won only by Reverse Swing ( I will come to Ashes 2005 later).

I like Swing bowlers.. I simply love seeing the shape of the ball bamboozle the batsmen.. My favorite mode of dismissal of a batsman is an outswinger taking the edge of a forward defense / cover drive and caught at second slip..(Yes..Something about second slip..) My favorite swing bowler from India was Irfan Pathan(I hope he comes back well..).. He had the ability to do magic with the new ball..He was never express (much like what Praveen Kumar does now)..The amount of swing he could generate surprised me.. No Indian bowler had swung the ball like that before... I have heard people say of Manoj Prabhakar but I have never seen much of his bowling.. Irfan Pathan was special.. Even in non helpful conditions , he would curve the new ball.. You could be sure he would pick up two or three wickets upfront with the new ball.. He was the sole reason for India's victory against Pakistan in that historic series in 2004/05.

Here take a look at the Hat-trick he picked up at Karachi.. Just look at the beautiful swing..

Swing bowling is an art and also a science.. The ball swings more if there is dampness in the pitch.. It seams around more if the conditions are overcast.. There is work that is to be done on the ball.. The essence of swing bowling is to get the cricket ball to deviate sideways as it moves through the air towards or away from the batsman.Batsmen are used to facing orthodox swing - which happens when the ball is still relatively hard and new in the first 10 to 15 overs.
However, now fast bowlers have developed a new method of making the ball move in the air with the older ball called 'reverse swing' which is very potent.

But to obtain any sort of movement, there are a number of factors to consider.

--> The seam position of the cricket ball
--> The wear and tear on the ball
--> The polishing liquid (most often Saliva and Vaseline) used on the ball
--> The speed of the delivery
--> The bowler's action
--> The Weather Conditions

We often see fielders constantly shining one side of a ball by rubbing it on their trousers.The rubbing helps to maintain a smooth, shiny side while the opposite is left to deteriorate through normal wear and tear.Normally in any cricket team ,there is a 'specialist' ball polisher.. For eg: England's ball polisher is Alastair Cook.

The asymmetry of the ball is encouraged by the constant polishing of one side of the ball by members of the fielding team, while allowing the opposite side to deteriorate through wear and tear. Over time, this produces a marked difference in the aerodynamic properties of the two sides.To move the ball in an orthodox fashion away from a right-handed batsman, the rough side of the ball will be on the left side with the seam angling towards second slip. And it is the other way round for inswing - the rough side is on the right with the seam pointing towards an imaginary leg slip. Both deliveries also require a subtle change in seam grip too.This generally happens when the ball is relatively new but tends to stop after the ball has lost its shine and hardness.

Lets look at what James Anderson (My favourite Bowler in the world currently who can swing the ball both ways) is capable of doing with the New Ball.. Here is his spell that he bowled against India.. Take a look at the first three wickets.. (other two are short balls which Indians are generally not comfortable).My view is that Anderson and Praveen Kumar should stop playing ODI's to preserve themselves for the longer version of the game.

I am not sure whether Swann will cause lot of problems when India tour there this English Summer..Mark my words.. Whether India wins the Test Series will depend on how our batsmen play James Anderson..

In my opinon one of the most overrated bowler is Morne Morkel. Even I would not bother facing him.He does not swing.He does not cut. He bowls on a length. He does not even bowl in the corridor of uncertainty.(Bowlers at the backyard cricket where I play on Sunday's move the ball better..).. Then how come a bowler like Glenn Mcgrath with no swing or cutters succeed...? He kept the game simple. He always targeted the top of off stump and there were no loose balls. Out of frustration , eventually the batsmen would nick one and Mark Waugh was always there at the slips. Even his bouncers were well targeted. Not even one of his bouncers would go wasted (i.e above the keeper for four). Good batsmen have told in interviews that if Mcgrath was knocked of his length early , he was ordinary.

REVERSE SWING..

Once the ball becomes older and more worn, it will begin to move in the opposite direction to where it would usually swing with no great change in the bowling grip. For example, an outswinger's grip will move towards the batsman in the air while an inswinger will move away from the bat.People say the grip is all important bowling reverse swing . All this tends to happen very late on in the delivery, making it difficult for the batsman to pick up the changes in the air. Former Pakistan international Sarfraz Nawaz was the founder of reverse swing during the late 1970s, and he passed his knowledge on to former team-mate Imran Khan.

It was Imran who schooled bowlers Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis, who brought the art to the cricket world's attention during the late 1980s and 1990s.The dynamic duo managed to make the old ball swing a considerable distance at pace in both directions, a skill few bowlers can master. Wasim Akram was the greatest exponent of reverse swing.He would set up a batsmen with few inswingers and with the same seam position would make it hold its line. Look at this video were he sets up Dravid with inswingers and then bowls a outswinger to break his defense.

As my friend said recently , Dravid must be proud to get out to a ball like this.

Perhaps the series that revived Test Cricket was the Ashes 2005.My opinion is , it was fully won on Reverse Swing.It was reported that Flintoff could reverse the ball in 15 overs..!! How he did it no one knows.. He along with Simon Jones reversed the ball wonderfully well and that made Australian batsmen piss in their pants. You see a batsmen leaving a ball , hoping that it goes away , but as Reverse Swing would have it , they were bowled by leaving the balls.. Just take a look at this.. You will be stunned.

A Swinging ball is a poetry in motion.And those who swing it are Artists who terrorise batsmen. Long Live the art of swing.

Cuddle,Break and Patch -- (Part 1 - Mistrust)

2011-06-14T03:16:00.005+05:30

"Isn't it true ?", Rohit asked as he switched his laptop on. "That we have become some sort of data dictionaries?".

"Dictionary ?.. Data..? What Rohit ?",Priya replied.Priya then bent over her cabin and gave 'Have u become mad?' kind of expression to Rohit.

"Yes Priya.. We all are gadgets now.We no longer have the retaining capacity.We are no longer able to keep our memmm ....". Rohit had paused... He had paused because Priya had started yawning. He would normally become furious if someone yawned when he spoke.He wanted people not to miss even a single word that he uttered because he knew that humans temperorily become deaf when they yawn and whatever movement of their face in acknowledgement would always be fake. Somehow Priya was never a target of his bad temper.He himself wanted to know why.
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Rohit waited patiently as she yawned for a good 10 seconds.Her mouth was wide open like Lord Krishna except that there was no world inside but effect of significant cavity.Also he noticed that her teeth were turning from white to 'eastman colour'. He continued "We are not able to keep our memories. All we now do is have a memory about memory." Rohit could make out that Priya now elevated herself from hearing.She was now listening what he was saying.

"We go somewhere and then come back and actively upload all our pictures onto Facebook. We blog about our experience, we tweet, etc. etc. In short,we just upload all your memories online and forget about it.Facebook and twitter have become our pensieves'"...

"Hmmm... Yes.." said Priya.
"Then what we remember is not the exact memory..But the memories about memory..You are right...." Priya now had a raised eyebrow pointing at Rohit..
"But why are you saying this now..?".
"Just a thought that crossed my mind." said Rohit picking bunch of papers from the draw without looking at her.
"C'mon.. No thoughts cross your mind without purpose.."

Rohit laughed.He then took the bunch of papers and left the room...Priya watched him until he disappeared from her vision. Needless to say , Rohit and Priya were colleagues.They were class mates in school and college as well.And as 'whatever' would have it , they were now team mates in office too.

Rohit came back to his cabin and kept the papers in his draw.. and then turned to Priya and said...
"Come home this sunday , I will introduce you to my cousin Vijay.. He's come back from Dubai forever... And probably we will venture out... He would be expecting you as well.. Va..And... You wanted to settle in Dubai illa ?.. He'll give you valuable inputs.. Trust me.."

"No.." said Priya instantaneously after the offer... "That is only day I have got to wash my clothes... Chance ey illa.."..

"Right then.... No problem.. I thought we can have dinner at his expense.. You are wasting a chance.."

"OC..ah! Oh.. Then I am coming.." said Priya 'doing a sudden balti' like a politician. Rohit was a touch surprised. Even though he knew girls' burn boy's wallet, this was unusual from Priya..

"So what about your clothes.. who will wash them..?" snapped Rohit playfully..
"I will wear jeans on monday.. You dont worry.. I never wash the Jeans.." told Priya sheepishly.
"Not a surprise.. I know no girl does that.." said Rohit and continued laughing for 5 minutes ignoring the glare from Priya.
"Very funny.."
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So.. Sunday Came.. and Priya was there at Rohit's place... Rohit knew Priya was not 'socially awkward'.Priya's definition of friendship was different. The Tea boy , the watchman ,the client , his PA , the receptionist at clients office, her maid , her scooter mechanic , her neighbour's relative ,everybody were her friends. She seemed to know everybody. And everybody knew her too. She had 1823 friends on Facebook (as per the latest 'census'.This was in addition to maid , mechanic etc who were not yet part of Facebook.Even Rohit was not part of this Facebook wave.).Yes.. Girls have more friends on facebook due to some strange reason but this was something huge..Sometimes Rohit would wonder what if all her 1823 friends turn up to her marriage along with their families. Would the marriage hall withstand.? Would she withstand ?.. He once suggested to Priya to get married secretly so that she could avoid such crowds..Priya laughed it off...
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Something surprised Rohit now.. What he realised in the 15 minute conversation with all the three was the fact that he was the only person who was talking... Priya who had the ability to start a conversation with any stranger at ease was unusually silent and so was Vijay.They both seemed to agree on one thing. That they were not going out for dinner.Instead Pizza man would arrive...Yes..He did arrive on time... It seemed Priya feasted that day. Never had Rohit seen her eat Pizza with such fondness... Immediately after the dinner Priya left.. It seemed as though she came only for the OC dinner..
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The next day Rohit and Priya (with her unwashed pair of denim blue) were back at the office doing usual routine things, that is to say other than working.

"Why were you so timid to start a conversation with Vijay..He's a nice guy.. He would have helped you with your travel plans..illa..?" asked Rohit.

"Rohit... Was I timid..?It was your cousin who was timid...And.. Moreover..I am not interested anymore in going abroad..I am going to settle here...I have given it a thought and... Yes.. India.. Sare jahaan se accha..." replied Priya with her trademark one sided 'half grin'.

"Its your wish then..You know best.."

"So..Tell me..How do I look.." asked Priya suddenly.
"What the ".. Rohit was taken aback..
"Ya.. How do I look.. ? ... I mean you look at girls.. Dont you?. You rate them is it not ?..Like that I mean.."said Priya standing up as she spoke..

"Why suddenly.. And moreover.. I have never looked at you that way.. And I have got lot's of work.. Don't spoil it.. No time for your jokes on me now.." snapped Rohit.

"Right.. Carry on.."..

Rohit thought Priya was pretty. She looked good(except her cavity affected teeth)..She was no Aishwarya Rai or Monica Belluci but she could give some good ones tough competition... Rohit unfortunately was of this good breed of boys who looked for 'inner beauty' and never really cared much about looks... For him Intelligence in a girl mattered most than good looks. Even though Rohit thought Priya was intelligent , he never felt a crush on her.. And he guessed this was the case from the other side too.
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Time passed by and there were several instances of get together happening between the three. Soon both Priya and Vijay started speaking freely with each other. The initial inhibition now disappeared.The three started to freak out every weekend and life was good.They would catch up all the new releases.. The three became good friends and seemed to enjoy the company.. Not a place in Chennai was left unvisited...Life seemed to be good..
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However there was one problem.. Vijay even after several months of search could not find a suitable job...He became dejected and depressed.He even avoided the social gatherings the three had planned earlier.He began distancing himself from Rohit and Priya..Rohit noticed that even Priya was not interested in the get together's after a point of time.. And suddenly one day...Vijay left to Dubai again to continue at the same job he once quit..

At the same time Rohit was moving up the ladder in the office... His work timings got awkward and sometimes , he would just doze off in the office... Priya somehow did her work on time.. and spent the remaining time by browsing matrimony websites to find a groom.. This was baffling for Rohit since Priya knew almost everyone in her locality and was popular and yet for her marriage , she had to seek the help of Internet...!

Time Passed by...
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Vijay suddenly called one day to Rohit..
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“ Macha,I want to tell you something.. I hope you don't get angry. Listen.I have been through tough times.I was into a relationship... It did not last long.. I had a terrible terrible break up...Things do not always go as we plan.The good news is I am now OK..."

Rohit did not know what to say... and said "You were in a mess here.. I knew there had to be a reason.. I never thought the reason would be a break up.. I am happy you are Ok now... But...why did you feel I would get angry for this..?"

Vijay paused for a moment and then said
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" The girl.. The girl... I was in a relationship with was Priya....I knew her even before you introduced her to me.. Once when I called you ,she had picked up the phone.. So got to know her... from that.. and then.. she was the one who asked me to come from Dubai... I came for her.. Things were nice initially.. and.. and.. she just could not... " Vijay continued to speak.. Nothing entered Rohit's ears though.. He was in complete shock that he did not show any emotion..He was just too stunned to speak anything more.. The least he expected from Vijay was an humble apology which he never received throughout that call ... and... that was the day Rohit last spoke to Vijay...
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Rohit understood a lot of things that day.. He had infact been a "bear in Shiva's Puja" all along.. He had been used.. Why they both hid it from him , he never could understand.. If only they had said it to him , he could have helped.. He now understood why Priya behaved unusually when Vijay was in chennai... He understood a lot of things.. He took leave from office for a week. Where he went no one knew. He came back refreshed.. He tried to put the past behind him..
He began to concentrate on his work...
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12 MONTHS LATER
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Priya and Rohit have now got new promotions.They are still in the same team... They both still come up with great projects when they team together.They both know one another's working style and complement each other very well... All is well now.. And... Rohit makes sure he never raises the topic of Vijay during his conversations with Priya... Some part of him wants to ask Priya why she did not confess that she knew Vijay much before he had actually 'introduced' him to her.He was disappointed that she also 'hid' her relationship with Vijay. Yes..He was angry with her..But..Somehow Priya was never a target of his bad temper...He himself wanted to know why...

Well.. There are some people in our lives with whom we just can't be angry with or worse even fake that we are angry... Is it not ?
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TO be continued.... (sometime later)

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P.S.Suggestions welcomed on how you would like the story(if any) to continue..(which I wont guarantee will certainly be incorporated..)

How free are we?

2011-06-01T01:37:00.002+05:30

Before I started writing this, I looked at what the dictionary terms “Freedom” as. It said freedom is.

• The state of being free or at liberty rather than inconfinement or under physical restraint:
• Exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
• The power to determine action without restraint.

So the question is should I have to go to the dictionary meaning to understand what freedom is or is freedom something that is already known?. I looked at it only because , I did not know.
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In the year 1949 , the Indian Constitution gave to Indians some of the liberal rights such as universal adult franchise which was way ahead of its times compared to other developed nations. However on the political front, India adopted Nehru’s socialist model that included a significant dilution in property rights, among others. The government entered businesses as its primary activity, to help it achieve the ‘commanding heights of the economy.’ Government owned factories sprung up quickly and began churning out shirts, watches, fridges, scooters, bicycles, milk, bread, and cheese.
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India's (Nehru's) fascination with socialism meant that individual citizens cannot be free to hold their property and carry on their professions freely .Only Rajaji wanted liberalisation. Economic liberalisation was introduced to India only in the year 1991. In response to a balance-of-payments crisis, India did away with the Licence Raj and ended many public monopolies, allowing automatic approval of foreign direct investment in many sectors. Since then, India has emerged as one of the fastest growing developing economy. Just imagine had India implemented this concept earlier as campaigned by Rajaji. Notable contributions aside- it seems that Shri Rajaji was also something of a fortune-teller.

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A classic case of freedom abuse is India's Right to Information Act (RTI) which now appears to be a victim of some of the very issues it was designed to fight against. This Act was perceived as the ultimate weapon for the people to fight corruption and get accountability from the government. However now it is slowly seen that this Act is also the victim of the nefarious factors that it was made to fight against. It is a running into bottlenecks, including abuses by officials who are deleting information to prevent it from reaching the people.

Citizen-campaigners are reporting missing information in a small but significant number of cases. They believe officials who do not want to release information simply make it vanish. A call for stringent action in 'missing document' cases needs to be made. Also, changes must be made in this act such as submission of a list of officials who are custodians of the missing documents, filing criminal cases against them, fining guilty officers and probe into deficient record maintaining system and for other anomalies.
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Freedom includes having our own non corrupt judicial system. The problem with Indian judiciary is something else. It is said that over three million cases are pending in India's 21 high courts, and an astounding 26.3 million cases are pending in subordinate courts across the country. At the same time, there are almost a quarter million under-trials languishing in jails across the country. Even fast track courts take minimum five years to give justice. It’s always said justice delayed is justice denied. Something must be done to reduce this backlog. Surely there is a way. There is a system of Advance Rulings prevalent in this country where nonresidents get judgements within 6 months. It baffles me why such a solution is not available for residents. This is a ‘free country’ where even an arm of the judiciary system (Advance Rulings) shows priority to nonresidents more than residents.
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It is a pity that the people of India do not have quality of life. Majority of the population in this country does not have the freedom to disrobe for sanitation. Also this is a country where thanks to traffic the ambulances do not arrive on time. Yes…Yes…. Pizza somehow arrives on time without fail !

The issue of reproductive technologies in our society today raises an
interesting question. Do they increase a women's freedom of choice or do they
expand the power of men and science over women. Is freedom to choose what they
can do with their bodies truly freedom? The evils against women such as female infanticide, dowry is prevalent even now. We have not attained freedom from them yet. We have not attained freedom from scams , whether it is by corporates (Satyam) or by Politicians (innumerable). Also a serious issue arises from the freedom of free access to the internet. This has made children frequent adult sites. Porn now comes on TV itself. Recently a spycam video of misdoings of a fake Godman was telecasted by a famous television channel in its prime time news. This could have easily been avoided. This brings us to the next point , the freedom of press.

Freedom of the press is the freedom of communication and expression through vehicles including various electronic media and published materials. However the media must know its limits also. It cannot intrude the privacy of any person. A notable press victory of sorts was Wiki Leaks. Wiki Leaks has brought to light a series of disturbing insinuations and startling truths in the last year, some earth-shattering, others simply confirmations of our darkest suspicions about the way the world works. Wikileaks is the epitome of freedom of press. It revealed cables from and to United States that caused embarrassment to a lot of top notch officials. Julian Assange , the founder of Wikileaks has been awarded the Sydney Peace Foundation gold medal by the Sydney Peace Foundation of the University of Sydney for his "exceptional courage and initiative in pursuit of human rights." Truly Assange is a modern day hero.
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Kollywood dominates popular imagination in Tamil Nadu to a degree that perhaps far exceeds the influence of Bollywood. Yet, the industry was until elections gripped by intense fear. The film industry has always been a coveted fiefdom, but in the last five years, there’s been an almost absolute takeover by a family. If there is any Tamil film you’ve heard of recently, nine out of 10 times, it would have been produced by the first family that ruled Tamil Nadu until recently. And they did it by controlling its consumption — via marketing, theatres and media rights. Monopolizing distribution is a key component of the game. Often, they buy films of smaller producers and throw their massive marketing and distributing infrastructure behind it. On an hour long drive, one can count a song from their recent release playing four times on their own FM. This kind of promotion is of course free of charge in one’s own channel but they charge exorbitant rates for trailers of fresh releases by directors and producers not part of their stable.
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Many producers feel the only option for mass marketing is television and radio and both are controlled by the family.Like small-time businessmen, they now depend on the Internet and word-of-mouth for marketing. Recently, Kollywood saw a wave of small-budget films set in B-towns. The theme was raw, violent, realistic, and they turned into sleeper hits. Today, the so called ‘Madurai wave’ has also been monopolised by the family. Any first-time producer who refused to give in run the risk of their films never seeing the light of day.Theatre-owners were threatened to join hands with the family’s business interests. Many film makers could not find a single theatre willing to screen them since they did not have the ‘blessing’ of the family! Under the new Government, the Cine Industry hopes to breathe easy.
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Equity is a fundamentally significant concept that can be used to characterize the fairness and effectualness of education systems. Although it is not a new issue in both developing and developed nations, educational equity has received renewed interest because it is more widely recognized as a basic human right.

The main factor in making parents not send their children to government schools is reported to be “the discouragement effect” brought on in part by the “abysmal quality of Indian[state] schools.”

One major problem is teacher absenteeism. A major survey of educational provision in four northern Indian states, the Public Report on Basic Education (“Probe Report”), revealed startling findings on the quality of state schools. When researchers called unannounced on a large random sample of government schools, in only half was there any“teaching activity” going on at all! In one-third, the head teacher was absent. The team reported “several cases of irresponsible teachers keeping a school closed or non-functional for several months at a time;a school where the teacher was drunk…a head teacher who asks the children to do domestic chores, including looking after the baby; several cases of teachers sleeping at school…; a head teacher who came to school once a week…and so on down the line.

Why are private schools not celebrated as part of the way forward in achieving “education for all”? There seems to be three practical reasons why not. First, private schools charge fees, thus making them out of reach for the poor. To ensure that children from poor families unable to pay school fees are able to attend private schools, governments could finance their education through vouchers.The second objection questions whether high-quality provision could exist in private schools serving the poor because levels of resourcing are low. The third objection is oddest of all. It concerns the impact of private provision on state education: If poor parents support private education, this allegedly carries a real danger of undermining the government schooling system.

None of this discussion, of course, means that nothing could be improved in the private sector’s efforts to serve the poor. Access to private education could be extended even further by building on the initiatives—already undertaken bythe private schools themselves—that offer ree and reduced-fee seats to needy children. Such informal schemes could be extended and replicated by philanthropists and/or the state so that “pupil passports”or vouchers could be targeted at the poorest children (although there may be thedanger of additional regulations that could stifle the growth of private schools if they were administered by the state). With these passports or vouchers, many more of the poor could be empowered to attend private unaided schools.

A known fact is Sri Sankara Senior Secondary school at chennai does not want to admit poor students which is mandatory as per a new Right to education law. The law makes it obligatory on the state governments and local bodies to ensure that every child gets education in a neighbourhood school. The district education officer can admit 25% of poor children living nearby to any private school as per the Act. According to it, if a child around nine years old has never been to school, he/she must be admitted to the fourth standard after some training. The schools cannot refuse admission, and must provide education free of cost.
‘Admitting poor students may bring down discipline and the quality of education and also demoralize teachers’, says the principal of this School. In a circular issued to students by the Adyar-based school, the principal has linked a student's performance to his/her economic status and asked parents to protest against the Right To Education Act.The circular said that under the Act, the school would have no choice but to admit students from poor families, which would pull down its standards. She urged parents to "protest and fight" against the Act. Suggesting that the state's decision to implement it from the coming year could force the school to increase fees, she asked parents to appeal to the state and the Centre not to implement the Act in its present form.
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From the early teenage, all we dream is about being independent. At that age, freedom means making decisions on own. However as we grow, we lose our way. Instead of standing up to one’s own beliefs, we capitulate to others interpretations of ‘being free’. Suppose we puff cigarettes, use drugs or drink alcohol because we feel old enough or cool enough does not signify freedom. Freedom is about taking that responsibility for our own actions. Being free does not mean being lawfully right. Maturity and the ability to adopt responsibility do not in any way show the age. Everything lies in the mind. We must learn to say no to those things that are misrepresented as to being ‘cool’ to foster our freedom. Yes, we must have the spine to say no. People will try and talk to us to doing a lot of things that might seem ‘cool’. Being wise is saying no to these things. The ‘Misuse of Freedom’ is increasing day by day and only we can help ourselves.

Conclusion:

So how free are we? Can we conclude on a hypothetical scale of 1 to 10, we are probably on 4…? No! It does not work that way. It is not quantifiable. It is qualitative. Let’s take one definition, not imprisoned or enslaved, in the world we live in there are personal prisons and there are persons and things that enslave us. One prison is work, confined to forcibly do things and a simple gadget that enslaves is our mobile.

The true worth liberty is best known to people of Libya and Egypt. For the present generation in India, freedom is something of the past. Freedom to them is only confined to history books. It’s high time we realize it’s beyond that.
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P.S.1. Motivation levels have reached a new low and thats the first reason for my prolonged absence from blogging.The second reason is mentioned in P.S.2

P.S.2. Laziness has also reached a new high.

P.S.3. I promise myself to be more frequent. I also promise to come out with rib tickling posts.Ya...I know its long due.

P.S.4 Dont ask me why I did not name SUN Pictures , Cloud Nine , Mohana Movies , Red Giant , Nithu( Swami Nithyananda) in the post.I have done it here. :P ha ha..
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OF PEDALS AND BRAKES...

2011-02-07T00:53:00.003+05:30

As I had already mentioned in one of my previous posts , I once got 3rd rank (and Varun got Second Rank.. Only one rank behind Varun...!(and I remember only one mark behind him..!) Wow! what an achievement!!) while I was at 3rd class at School.I look back at this 'Incident' often because it has had and it continues to have a very very significant impact on my life.Exactly one year back, when I was in complete mess with nil ego and negative self worth, I became a 'scavenger' who was searching for confidence of some kind from somewhere and this one (infact only) incident said to me I had once been among the top 5 in a class of 35 (i.e within 15 %) and I still can. This also said to me , If the pass percentage of CA final becomes 15 , I would pass. This hypothesis of mine may sound absolutely stupid to some.However it is not so. You must at some point of time in your life been devoid of self worth to understand this.

I also believe it is always very easy to say that "I will prove him wrong.." or "I will show them what I am made of" and proving to others is according to me is also very easy. I will tell you what is agony and misery. It is saying "Aiyo.. I have to prove it to myself..".. I have been through this.I know the pain. Hence the feeling that I once been among the top 5 in class gave me the soothing effect.

I 'showed what I am made of' to my father(I had promised that I would get into top 3) and hence he got me a BSA-Champ (as he promised) and I insisted it had to be without the support wheels on the side.Half of him wanted me to have this cycle and half of him did not.The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A rickety child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The awareness that this is what the child will always need can knock them hard.(Sometimes , ironic it may sound 'I too feel proud' about what I write, the previous two sentences are such lines.)
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I rode this cycle only within my street. I put upon myself a self imposed boundary. I would not even cross the road.For 'To' I was keeping left. For 'Fro' I was keeping right. However after one and a half years , I grew up and so did my audacity. And for the first time I crossed the road and I was properly keeping left. And only when I did try to cross back again I came as an obstacle to this speeding motorcyclist who in order to not hit me put his front brakes and ceased the motion of the vehicle. However a newtons law(I dont know which) of motion started working and he flew above me and broke not his crown but his helmet alone and I ran after (to my home).

After my parents mitigated for his damages by giving him some money.I was banned to bicycle. That was it. The end of BSA Champ. The champ had become junk. The champ I referred was myself.
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I was in 8th Class and my father decided to buy me a bicycle so that I was no more 'dependent'on my ever punctual School Bus and 'Benjamin'- The rash and arrogant Bus Driver.I was also in a way missing 'Bhakthavatsalam' - The sedate and signal obeying Bus Driver. He had been demoted that year. The school's population had reached something similar to 'Stage 2 of the Demographic Transition' and hence more and more parents depended on our school's own transport to 'pick up and drop' their children.The school authorities to cope with the rush leased a second hand van which 'Bhakthavatsalam' had to drive.
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My parents for once felt I needed to be independent.They said I had to go alone to shops. I had to go alone to a saloon.When they are late , I had to stay back alone at home. They said I had to become responsible..(A Refrain I have been hearing for a long long time).. However.. For all this to happen.. I Said .. First.. I have to have my own bicycle..(or else how will I go to shops and saloon alone depending again on the 'Pallavan'..)
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So.. Myself and my father went to this very famous cycle shop at Broadway(quite contrary to its narrow lane) to buy a Bicycle.. I had already made up my mind to buy the 'geared' cycle.The fascination with gears had started that early.I wanted blue colour but the shop had inventory of only grey colour.However at the joy of getting a cycle, I ignored the choice of colour.
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And so from 'Broadway' to 'Mylapore' began my first journey in my brand new Hercules 'Top Gear'. As the name suggests it was a very 'herculean' task for me to ride the cycle.First, I felt I did not have total control of my cycle as my leg did not reach the ground while I sat on it and secondly the front brakes constantly rubbed against the front wheel as I rode.This is frustrating.
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The effort I was putting to pedal did not quite get me the speed that it deserved.When 'efforts' do not yield the 'deserved results' and when there is something else that is stopping the momentum , all that crops up is disappointment , anger , frustration , irritation and not to mention hot tears .When I look back at this journey from 'Broadway to Mylapore' today , a question that arises in my mind is whether efforts are directly proportional to results ?. And I stand (after having fallen twice) before you today bringing an important truth that sometimes efforts are not directly proportional to results. It is certainly not inversely proportional too. The correlation between efforts and results is certainly not '1'.There is something else.
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Some people call it luck. Some call it divine intervention. I dont know. From a firm believer in luck , I have now began saying 'Luck is cruel. It attaches itself to people who do not depend on it'.
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I think the year I got that bicycle was 2000.'Broadway' to 'Mylapore' seemed eternity.Even more so with those non aligned wheel. So, as I rode I was immersed in futuristic thoughts .I had written an essay in school. It was like , I had solved the Y2K problem and I was rewarded.The fascination with the number 2000 gave rise too many questions and interpretations.
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I felt that many people tend to round off the period from '2000' to '2009' as the first decade of the new century. I wanted to say to them that..'2000' does not belong to the family of the first decade of the new century. This was my personal view and I knew many people would not subscibe to my view outright considering my 'affinity' towards Mathematics.. :)). Also , In the previous century , people referred a year by its last two digits. No problem. What wondered me is the fact that people had ceased to do it the next immediate century ?. Queer!. Cant get it..? See '1997' was simply referred colloquially just as '97'. Why have the people not followed suit ?. Why is '2000' not referred just as '0'. '2001' was not referred as 'one'.
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Thirdly,(this was due to the fact that I saw 'Hey Ram') I wanted to advice people. I wanted them not to write the date as 31.12.00 for 31.12.2000. Why u ask..?.I felt that suppose you write 31.12.00 , the archeologists who will see our writings thousands and thousands of years later may not be able find out the exact date of our works easily when they dig for something called 'Coovum Valley Civilisation'. (Civilisation??.. Are we Sure..??.. We'll settle that question later..). They may get confused whether its 31.12.2000 or 31.12.1900!. I felt this would be a great favour for 'generations to come'.
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And all this thought occured to me as I rode that bicycle.As Christoper Morley put it... "The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets". And hence I knew I was a futuristic thinker !. The point that I really want to make here is at that time , I felt I was extremely brilliant. I was antonym to modesty. I now realise that sometimes it is good to not to be modest.
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Hercules Top Gear had a depreciation(all because of my rough handling) rate of 50 percent for a year.And so by the time I reached my plus one( which is also quite an achievement) , I wanted a cycle once again to commute to school which was good 3.5 Kms away.
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I bought this conventional 'Annamalai' cycle... I had then moved to a suburb that is according to me wrongly christened 'Nanganallur'.Nangai'(women) 'Nal' (Good) 'Oor' (Town). I with all my experience now confess none of the women there are 'good' now both in terms of looks and behavior.Since I was new to the place , I did not know the 'route' to my school. I would wait in my cycle at the corner of my street. A 'fleet' of girls with uniform of my school would travel. I used to follow them.(simply because i did not know the route). They had a routine 'long' route by which all their friends home gets covered.They thought I was a 'Poriki' following them everywhere. It took me one week to get a grip of the place and I found a route which was most convenient.I now realise when you follow someone else's route , all you get is bad name even though your intentions are not bad.!

And..from now on.. My way will be always different.
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After school I did not require cycle. I became dependent on my friends who had bikes.Hence one day my parents sold this 'Annamalai' cycle of mine without my consent. I was livid with them. I felt as though a part of mine was being sold.... And I realise now that it was not part of mine but part of life. I have to move on. Separation is inevitable. See how relevant the main title of my blog is!
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And Now I move on with regrets that I have shown moments of madness. The past is something that I want to 'obliviate' asap. I have not been able to cross the line and also I have never been able to get the 'good' name that I felt I deserved ....I am a good person. I know. I hope others will also know.
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As an anonymous said.. 'A bicycle does get you there and more And there is always the thin edge of danger to keep you alert and comfortably apprehensive. Dogs become dogs again and snap at your feet; potholes become personal. And getting there is all the fun.'..

FUN - The word for which I have been searching the meaning for quite sometime now.

Damsel Sans Face...

2011-01-30T02:49:00.001+05:30

He became weird. He stood on the bed and was oscillating like a pendulum.In fact his 'to and fro' was with much more precision. With every two oscillations , he nod his head twice.The first nod was like saying yes (that is to say the movement of the head was vertical). The second nod was horizontal.His eyes expressed uncertainty.His mouth was three quarters open but he was not yawning.His face was dull.He was constantly rubbing his right palm across his face and felt the stubble. Often he would catch hold of a single 'long grown' strand (among the short ones) from the stubble and tried to either pluck it or rotate it.
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The vision of his uncertain eyes focused outside his window to the corridor of a posh apartment at an angle of 45 degrees North and at a distance of about 30 meters . He waited for the divine silhouette of a girl. She came to the corridor every evening after changing her school uniform with a cup of some energy drink (probably boost).He could see the girl but the sun would hit the corridor in an angle at which the glare would make it impossible for him to concentrate on her face. Boys do not remember faces of pretty girls was his logic or simply put his own consolation. Her hair was visible. Her dress was visible.(She wore a skirt and a shirt.He had seen her in a pink skirt and a green skirt on alternate days.The shirt was always striped and so he could not make out whether she wore the same shirt everyday).However her face was not visible.He could only see the outline of her face.
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Today was overcast.So he thought he might be able to see her face at last. And as usual she had come today at the same time sharp (today was green skirt). He started looking at her. He sensed their eyes met.He gave an impression as though he was not focusing on her.He remained still. Within minutes (probably sensing trouble) ,she turned and started to walk back from the corridor. She paused for a moment and pushed back the right plait which had fallen in front of her shoulder with a swift movement of her head. The plait zoomed and fell at the back of her shoulders and she resumed her walk clutching both her plaits (how he liked double plaited girls!). Our guy was immersed in the Shhhtyle !!
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He smiled and fell on his bed. He tried to recollect the face of the girl. However he could not. He knew his logic was in fact true. Sun glare or no Sun glare.. Boys do not remember faces of pretty girls easily...
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P.S.1 - With this very small post , I now begin a new series of posts(labels) in the name "Groundnut Bulletin". Much More to come.... :) Hope all of you get to like it..