Phew! This took a while to make. Originally inspired by the awesome Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie poster, I wanted to pay tribute to what I think is currently the best cartoon on television, Adventure Time. If you aren’t familiar with it, get familiar with it. I’ll be here, waiting for you to fill your brain with awesome.

At first I wanted to make the poster as if it was for an awkward Robert Zemeckis CG mocap movie (see: Polar Express). I think some of that fugly character design feeling remains, but ultimately I took all of the jabs towards mocap out because the poster stands on it’s own without them. I wanted to have the worst possible casting at first but then Rob reeled me in from crazytown as he so often does and said, “Hey man, Adventure Time is awesome, don’t fuck it up.” And he was right. So after much deliberation we came to the casting choices that weren’t just entirely silly, but choices that could actually kind of work in a movie. Curious to know… how would you cast your Adventure Time movie?

I made this thing at giganto size because I knew I was going to want a poster sized print of it. If anybody out there is interested in a print, email me and I’ll see what I can do. I don’t know of any printing services other than Kinko’s, so if you’ve got suggestions don’t hold out on a brotha. Here are some detail closeups:

You’ll notice there are some new social sharing options under each comic now. We’d love for you to share this on reddit (or up-vote it), like it on facebook, tweet it, stumble it, tumblr it, bumble it, mumble it, grundle it, and do all those good things. Social sharing is one of our main sources of getting new readers (and consequently, STD’s) so spread the love hate!

CAV of Cav Pollo comics (en espanol) made us this sweet guest comic. We love him for that. You should make us a guest comic too. We’ll put it on the extras page and tell everyone about how seriously fucking awesome you are.

THE 8th ANNUAL VALENTINES DAY SEX DRIVE!

Every year on Valentines Day, comic creator Stef Marcinkowski of Sarah Zero does this little shindig where he posts a nude drawing of one of his comic characters and asks other webcomics to do the same. On this magical day, cartoon boobies roam the internet, finally free to live their lives as nature intended. You’ll also be able to see all of the other comics that participated below. So go check em out, ya perverts, and have a happy V-day!

Other VDSD Comics:

• Raven’s Dojo:
  http://ravensdojo.com
• Chimneyspeak.
  http://chimneyspeak.com
• Sarah Zero.
  http://sarahzero.com
• Endless City.
  http://endlesscity.thewebcomic
  .com/
• Mozhaets.
  http://freefalling-flightless.squarespace.com/mozhaets
• Epic Fail.
  http://epicfail.xepher.net
• Prepare to Die.
  http://www.onyxsparrow.com/
  prepare_to_die/index.cfm
• Alone in a Crowd.
  http://aiacrowd.com
• Execution Day.
  http://www.executionday.
  thecomicseries.com
• Lacey Investigations.
  http://www.lacey-investigations.com
• Ardra.
  http://www.ardracomic.com
• Blaster Nation.
  http://www.blasternation.com
• TDUGN.
  http://tdugn.com
• Jazz and Jess.
  http://www.jazzandjess.com

On a totally seperate and awesome note, the Mall Monkeys CDs came in the mail, and I have shipped them out to everyone who has ordered one (Except for G  reyTheTick, who ordered the special GET-WHATEVER-YOU-WANT-DRAWN SPECIAL…examples coming soon!) If you haven’t ordered, you’re missing out on years worth of webcomic goodness for just $10! All proceeds go towards making HATEFARM more awesome. Course, you could always just donate. ($50 or more gets your likeness in a future comic…more details on our FAQ)

Lastly we have 2 1 advertising spot open (one rotating spot on the top ads) if you’re into getting hits for your website and stuff.

Thanks guys

E

The Mall Monkeys page is now up! Lovers of internet nostalgia rejoice! If you were a MM fan, go enjoy your sobering trip down memory lane. If you’ve never heard of Mall Monkeys, go do some reading. Educate your friends and family — they’ll be astonished at your useless early-2000′s indie webcomic knowledge. You might even get a friend or two by joining the Mall Monkeys fan group on Facebook. It’s run by mostly cool guys, I promise the creators have nothing to do with it.

Maybe you’ll even buy a CD? Better yet, buy a CD with an insert on which I’ll draw ANYTHING YOU WANT. ANYTHING. Yeah. You know that sounds sexy. I’ll even autograph it for you (using my hands or penis) if that’s what it takes for you to give the HATEFARM cause money. All proceeds go towards making this site more awesome, and finally getting that Chinese sweatshop of inkers and painters that I’ve always wanted.

Well, no real comic this week because getting this all together was quite a bit of work. I ordered the CD’s and they are currently in production. Excite! Next week we hope to return you to your regular HATEFARM goodness. But in the meantime, you can read this interview with me at Kara Ashley Dey’s site, if you like. In it, I talk about the comic, my painting and animation career. I do my best to pretend to know what I’m talking about, but even when I’m just recounting my own memories I get pretty confused and dizzy and it makes for an altogether unintelligible experience and I all too frequently mention very personal things like my affinities for snail porn and Denver the Last Dinosaur.

I want to thank you guys for getting A Skyrim Comic over 500 likes! That’s pretty intense. I wish more than three of you guys actually liked one or two of our other comics, but beggars can’t be choosers. We’ll probably be renaming HATEFARM to “Skyrim Orgies” soon. To celebrate, I updated the Extras page with new avatars. Because you guys like them sooo much and I’m seeing them all over the internet. Just kidding, they’re worthless, just like my ability to love.

Don’t forget to like us on Facebook, because we would really like that. We’re also on Twitter and Inkoutbreak. You could vote for us on Topwebcomics if you really wanted to, but I mean, I wouldn’t if I were you. I don’t and I’m me. So it’s cool.

<3

Greetings, internet weirdos! It’s your ol’ buddy Ron! I mean Rob. I could have corrected that typo manually, but I feel like I deserve to be chastised for my inability to spell my own fucking name. It’s only been 26 years with it, to be fair to myself. I’m still adjusting.

This comic was inspired by a very silly conversation I had with a friend of mine about a week or two ago, the initial concept having been a “self-defense” method that relies on lulling your opponent into a false sense of security before attacking them. Then, through the miracle of my keyboard, it turned into something much simpler and easily forgettable. I don’t want to get too behind-the-scenes here and ruin the mystique surrounding my brilliance, but I was eating a handful of gummy bears and listening to some music when it… just… hit me.

I jolted upright in my chair, clamoring for the keyboard before realizing I would first need to utilize my mouse to both pause and then minimize my open VLC media player. Now was not the time to continue my private Southland marathon, refreshing myself for the upcoming season. No, my friends. Now was not that time at all. My mind whirred with the possibilities – a wedding, the words “boo thang”, an out of place video game reference that almost certainly signifies I spend far too much time on my Xbox 360. These blessed, nimble little fingers of mine danced happily to the tune of my script. This is what the girl will say! And this is what that guy will say! And here is the panel where I awkwardly describe how I’d like Eric to draw that which, in my glorious imagination, has tickled me in the most pleasurable and yet non-sexual of ways. Yes, I was fully erect.  But it was of profound coincidence.

Or perhaps not. Perhaps my bulging, swollen member was but another way of my body urging itself to unleash this creation upon the internet to be glanced over and forgotten without so much as a click of the “Like” button. My seed would be cast into the fertile womb of Eric’s doodly-box (or for your simple minds to comprehend, his artistic mind) and from the slick folds of his pen’s vagina would a gush of beauty spill on the canvas of his choosing. Then I think he just colors it in MSPaint or something. I honestly don’t know how he does it.

So yeah. That’s what goes on in my mind sometimes. Now, tell me a little about yourselves. Here is a photo of me looking interested in what you have to say to make you feel comfortable.

Are you an emo, goth, or all around spoiled teenager? Did you ask for an iPhone or car for Christmas, but didn’t get one? Head on down to your local grocery and pick yourself up a box of bittersweet death, from Pillsburied. (Not to be confused with Pillsbury – those products, while delicious, contain significantly less lethal toxin) Don’t forget to share with your brothers and sisters! Before you know it, your mom will be lamenting her poor decisions for the rest of her life, and the Pillsburied Death Boy will have more young souls for his underworld army. It’s a win-win.

So big update today — our archive is up and running. There is a new page up called “Awesome Shit People Googled” which, really, is just an ongoing collection of hilarious google searches people used to get to our webcomic. We have some advertising thanks to IamArg and Hyperbolic Bubble. Please support our website by clicking on their ads and giving their websites a looksee!

If you want to support HATEFARM even further, than please like us on facebook and follow us on twitter! Lastly, and probably most importantly, we joined up with INKOUTBREAK — probably the most badass way to browse your favorite webcomics and discover new ones. Seriously, it makes topwebcomics and most any other comic list look like trash. I would love you forever if you followed our comic on Inkoutbreak — you should be able to do it with the new button on the right. Also we joined their link exchange, which means there are other comics being advertised to the right — I pick which comics are shown to so you’re only going to see quality business over there.

Justin Scheetz is the web genius behind our site… and while there are big plans for added content, today he finished with all the important design work and implementation! He is finished and everything else is on me. I wanted to shout out a HUUUUUGE thanks to him for all his hard work. As I’m sure you can agree, this site is pretty hooked up and delicious. Check out his design website and if you’re in the market for it, purchase one of his wordpress themes. They will NOT disappoint.

Rob wrote an extremely excellent comic for next week and you should be super excited about it, like me.
E

According to some of our female readers, comics in the past have left them feeling…alienated. This was never our intention, and so after a weeks worth of research we have concocted the ultimate in feminine webcomicry.  Guys, this comic is strong enough for a man, but MADE for a woman. Seriously though, ladies, I hope you’re happy. You’ve got your Levar Burton Strawberry Unicow, Cats, Yoga, and awkward man kisses. We do this not for the best friend-saliva, but for the lady love. Totally not gay.

HATEFARM is one year old as of a few days ago! To celebrate…well, not much. The friends page is up with some links and more on the way. There is a Mistress Missy wallpaper up on the extras page. I’m hoping to get the archive page up and running within the month along with some other bells and whistles, like an inkoutbreak banner.

We have to make some decisions about our advertising situation in the near future. Project Wonderful has turned us down because we are too awesome adult oriented.  That’s cool and all, it’s their service, and if they want to support comics that are pretty much constant porn and not us, that’s on them. But that leaves one other easy and reliable source of advertising — Google Adsense, and I feel like they’re going to turn us down as we currently are. This leaves us with some options:

• Go back and censor a few comics so that Adsense will give us the OK. The uncensored versions of said comics might have to be available through some back door access or maybe like an eventual book sale. I’m not too keen on the idea of censoring.
• Keep things the way they are, offer advertising on the site to those who are interested…however so far there has been zero interest. *UPDATE* Actually, after posting my rant there has been some interest! Thanks to Iamarg and everyone else who emailed me about advertising…you make the internet significantly less shitty. Show HATEFARM and our friends support by clicking on the ads and checking our their goods!
• Submit HATEFARM to Adsense as is and slip them a $20 for their troubles.
• Keep paying for site out of pocket, suck it up and stop fucking whining.
• Try to more actively partner with other like minded sites and comics that are not afraid to be awesome.
• Become women.
• Turn HATEFARM into a porn site.
• Go look at other porn.
• Make lists.

If you have any suggestions, I guess you can make them below, but I think we’d all just rather have a discussion about the Levar Burton Strawberry Unicow instead.

If you’re interested in advertising on our site, drop me an email. We get anywhere from 1100-1400 hits a day, and up to 5000 a day when we advertise ourselves. It’ll be around $15 for 2 weeks on the top banner or $10 for 2 weeks on the bottom banner…maybe more or less depending on how awesome your ad is or how long you want to advertise.

-E

Some of you wanted to see more of our poster girl, Mistress Missy. While my primary motivation with this comic was to fulfill the freakish affinities for sexy cartoon ladies that you and I both share…I also wanted to poke a little fun at Suicide Girls. Not just them, but the whole idea of “alternative girls” (who are, for the uninitiated, a girl with any combination of the following elements: short hair, piercings, tattoos, multicolored or primary hair colors, far too much eye makeup.) Personally I’m just a sucker for short hair ladies, but I wanted our leading female to be all of those things. And also a giant ho.

A webcomic as sleazy and slutty as HATEFARM needs a star that reflects itself. Also, she should be the embodiment of taboo, sexualization, and have genitals that posses demonic powers. I’m interested in developing her character a little bit more as right now she’s just kind of an empty stereotype. I mean, I know she’s a world renown porn actress dominatrix demon bitch, but why? And why should we care? I’m just saying it’s time she went on an adventure and found out who she really is, deep down inside.

On second thought, nah, we should just stick with the crude and juvenile sex jokes. I think we need a comic with butt sex in it. Hahaha! Butt sex is hilarious.

Happy New Years guys, lets make it the best one we’ve ever fucking had.

Eric

I think the important thing, this being the holiday season and all, is to apologize. I’m not sure why I do the things that I do. But my mind goes to strange places and imagines stranger things, and at the end of the day, I am pretty sure that pandas are into really rough sex. I mean, they’re bears. Bears are sort of the unofficial mascot of this comic, I think. Birthday ones, polar ones, kinky sitcom-parodizing ones. But in a way, isn’t that how it is in life? We’re all just different kinds of bears, you guys.

And I know what you’re thinking. “Rob, there’s nothing in that paragraph that makes a goddamn bit of sense! You’re just filling up space with nonsense!” Au contraire, my friend. The thing is… no, that’s absolutely correct. I was going to lie to you, and that’s just not right. That isn’t the kind of thing I stand for and I’ll be damned if I’m remembered for being some fraud rather than who I know at the end of the day I really am. That I can stand up in the face of eternity and everyone in this world and say hey, dudes. Look at these crazy bears. They are so wacky, acting like people.

But in a way, isn’t that how it is in life? Maybe we’re all just bears… different kinds of bears- of varying size, color and porridge temperature preferences – pretending to be people.

Thank you.

Goodnight.

Have a lovely, non-denominational holiday.
– Rob

Hey people, if you at all dig our website (even if it’s just to leave passive aggressive comments below), we ask that you get serious with the voting starting TODAY! The votes on Topwebcomics reset every month and we’d love to get into the top 100  for December. You can vote every day, and you should probably get all your friends to vote too. It would make us feel extremely warm and fuzzy in our heart boxes. Vote now for the love of Horse!

I always wondered what the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would look like portrayed in a more literal sense. Throw a little “darkness” into this reboot and you have a dysfunctional family setting filled with angsty teenage freaks. All the turtles here have some deep seeded problems that they will have to learn to overcome before they go off to ninja college. While they train to be ninjas physically, they will have to become ninjas of the heart to survive.

Donatello is the chain smoking emo turtle who wallows in cigarette smoke and sad music. He hates the world and finds joy in his tears. Raphael is the naive hippie stoner kid who smokes so much weed he can barely find the time to smoke weed. Michelangelo is the overeating gamer addict with zero social skills and a bad attitude. Leonardo is obsessed with his looks but can never attain true happiness due to his tiny penis (and probably the giant mutated balls on his face). April O’Neil is there to look decidedly emo yet sexy (as always) and Splinter is in the back in a hazy depressed mess of alcohol and medication.

I think this would make a pretty sweet poster, so I’m going to make myself one at Kinkos! If anyone else agrees and thinks they would buy a poster of this, I’ll get it set up so you can order one.

Oh hey, you might have noticed, there are some new pages to look at. About HATEFARM is where we hide our FAQ. It’s a little sparse at the moment so we hope you go over there and ask us some shit. The Characters page is also up, though it will be a constant work in progress, always with new characters popping up. About Eric and About Rob are also up, so you can stalk us more easily. The store is up, although the selection is kind of crappy until we pump more money into it, feel free to buy stuff anyway. The other pages are coming soon!

Lastly, for those of you that complained, our RSS feed should be fixed now. Check it.

I got to thinking about how incredibly adorable Elijah Wood is and this was the result. I could honestly just carry around that guy in pocket all day. When I got sad or depressed I’d have him tell me some stories about The Shire or I’d have him reminisce about dancing with thousands of penguins to modern pop music.

And there’s the segue to my shameless plug. You know that movie that’s out in theaters right now, starring Elijah Wood? Happy Feet 2? It has it’s enjoyable moments, and I’m sure the kids are going to love it. But isn’t an award winning movie in my book. What totally SHOULD win all the awards is the 4 minute animated short “I Tawt I Taw A Puddy Tat” that plays in front of it. It’s pretty excellent, to tell you the truth. And not because I worked on it as the animation lead on Tweety and Granny. No, because it is some of the coolest Warner style 3D CGI animation you’ll ever see.

Check out this 30 second clip on the youtubes:

It even features the voice of the long dead Mel Blanc (how cool is that!?) And the awesome June Foray, who has pretty much voiced Granny since the dawn of time. A lot of animators and artists worked SUUUPER hard on it, so if anyone who reads this comic actually saw it, I’d love to hear what you thought…even if you want to complain about bringing the characters into CG. Well — no, actually, I don’t want to hear about that. Fucking deal with it.

We have an even cooler one (and I mean it, it’s waaaaay cooler) coming out starring Daffy and Elmer, and another Wile and Road Runner short coming in the future. It’s all up to Warner Brothers as to when that stuff comes out though. My studio just makes the pretty moving pictures.

Well, there you have it. I animate kids stuff by day, draw fucked up pseudo porn by night. It’s a good balance.

Later, haters.

Originally I wanted to make a comic that was somewhat apologetic to all the girlfriends (and boyfriends?) of the world who have to suffer the loss of their significant other to the lands of Skyrim. (If you have no idea what Skyrim is, go play a fucking video game.) But the idea sort of devolved from that because I really wanted to draw an Eiffel Tower. Like….REALLY wanted to.

I was also gonna slap me and my girlfriend in the comic, but wanted to show some love to webcomic creator Andrew Gregoire and his woman from I am ARG. Sure, I may have gone a bit overboard on the love, but you can’t deny that it is indeed, love in it’s truest form. Sweet dovahkiin love. Check out his webcomic. It is greatness.

If I may be serious for a moment, The Elder Scrolls V: Skryim is one of the best games I have ever played. If I came home to Skyrim banging my girlfriend, I’d be overjoyed. I might have some performance anxiety for a little while, but I’m sure I’d get used to it after I leveled my penis up a bit. I would put all my skill points into pick pocketing.

We’re not usually big on inside jokes here at the HATEFARM, but if you don’t get the “FUS, ROH, DAH” bit, it’s probably for the best.

Hey vote for us on topwebcomics, wouldja? You can do it every day, in case, you know, you don’t own a copy of Skyrim.