Qritik

Buhari's Foot and Mouth Disease.

2016-10-21T00:39:00.000-07:00

Prior to now, it has been postulated that our dear and darling President, a man who is said to be such a visionary that he is the embodiment of the touted change (perhaps he is a shape-shifter) was a man of great nobility and honour, a veritable bastion of wisdom and integrity. It was said that he was a man who could do no wrong, but whose misdeeds were the work of sycophants and boot-lickers who were so fond of the taste of shoe polish that they told him anything and everything, to ensure that they would keep having unfettered access to his shoes, and of course, certain choice portions of the National cake.
Such stories are wearing thin. Recent events have led to newer postulations in certain quarters that ironically, it is the president who is fond of the taste of shoe polish. How else can it be explained, that every time he opens his mouth, he winds up putting his foot in it? What else is foot-and-mouth disease, biko?

I'm referring, of course, to the. iconic gaffe committed by our president. In the presence of someone who is probably the most powerful woman in the world, our esteemed president, in sampling the taste of German dust on his feet, uttered the words that have made him infamously famous: That his wife belongs in The kitchen, the living room, and "the other room". And this to the German Chancellor, a woman!
A tasteless comment, even for a leader with a history of tasteless comments. One of our President's biggest commitments, aside claims of fighting corruption and sending the Discovery and Setup Service (use the acronym if you want) to find and locate fantastic sums in people's houses., seems to be embarrassing his supporters, his party members, and the nation at large.

The internet and the digital universe was boiling, tweets, Facebook posts, and posts flying hither and yon, flaying the President for his comment, and soon enough, one of the #SaiBabarians, a presidential aide, Garba Shehu, began trying to do what passed for damage control, claiming that Buhari's tasteless comment was made jocularly, that Nigerians should chill and allow a leader "get" a sense of humor. I didn't initially understand his use of "get" as opposed to "have". Then I remembered his first language was hausa, and that he was chosen for proximity and loyalty to the president, not necessarily because of ability or competence. Needless to say, he took a few hits himself.

But the real shocker was yet to come. His principal, whose name he was trying to salvage, drove yet another nail into what may well be his political coffin, if the physical one doesn't catch up with him first. In an interview with German News, he restated his earlier comment, that his wife had no business in politics, but was consigned to the home front. At the very least, it was scandalous. In the twenty first century. And this amidst rumors of the president's wife having moved to London. And against the backdrop of Reuben Abati's allegations of mega sales of dildos due to people in the corridors of power not being able to provide "horizontal refreshment" for their significant others.

While some #SaiBabarians have insisted that their visionary leader was completely correct in saying that the "Wife of The President" (Aisha's official title is not First Lady) has no business in politics, but should instead be confined to the domestic space, a lot of others have dismissed the president's remark as out-rightly sexist, and indicative of how he views women.

I'm tired. There are too many things to complain about in Nigeria. Just come and adopt me abeg. Please we have got to start saying and doing the right things.
Tueh!

Our Vice President Is Icing Sugar

2016-09-26T03:30:00.001-07:00

Sometime ago, In a forum I belong to, I made some statements regarding powerless Christians in the face of the prevailing situation in Nigeria, and how the generation of powerless Christians was led by our very own amiable Vice President, (you know his name). I wondered about the genesis of his pastor-ship, his vice-presidential nomination, and his subsequent relegation to the post of a "commissioner", and his total irrelevance in the scheme of things.

I got a lot of feedback.

Trust typical Nigerians, a lot of it was negative. Just religious and blind arguments about "touch not my anointed" and all that crap. A typical Nigerian will heartily join you to complain about anything and everything, the state of the economy, the rising costs of everything, from sanitary pads to foodstuff and other consumables. But mention a so called "man of god", and your erstwhile partner in griping will turn and attack you with bared fangs.

I merely wanted to engage, and ask questions that I'm sure are bothering the minds of more than a few rational individuals of whatever religious persuasion you choose. Osinbajo is a lawyer, and I have a lot of distrust for that, from the start. Next, he is not just a practicing lawyer, he has a law firm, which handles cases for a lot of major corporations. Now let's be honest here. Being a lawyer, and at that level, you can be sure that there has been a lot of fact bending and grey-shading along the way. Not to mention the shady dealings that go on in high places as regards the legal profession

Then you consider the fact that he is a Pastor,which is difficult to reconcile with being a lawyer. And somehow, he got to be Buhari's running mate. It was his inclusion on the ticket that got the majority of the Christian populace to vote, due to the fact that the Redeemed Christian Church of God, where he is a pastor, is one of the largest churches in Nigeria, and they have a habit of being blindly and fanatically devoted to their religious leaders. We'll discuss that another day.

Back to the VP.

Pastor, Lawyer and now VP. Or shall we say "Commissioner". We had a pastor VP candidate once, incidentally with the same General Buhari as presidential candidate. Pastor Tunde Bakare was once Buhari's running mate. That was 2011. I can say without fear (argue in the comments section) that if Buhari had won back then, and Tunde Bakare had been his vice, things would not be like this. Tunde Bakare has made a name for himself as one who does not back down, and who is not afraid to name, shame, and blame. I dare say that if things had sunk to the all time low where we are now, special thanks to Buhari and his endless list of tactless comments, Pastor Bakare would have either been making his own counter comments, or would have done the honorable thing and resigned rather than being relegated to the role of a commissioner.

It doesn't come as a surprise, then, when we label Pastor Yemi Osinbajo (or Osinbade, as Buhari famously called him) is just a lot of icing sugar: It is added to make the cake more appealing, but is carefully removed before the actual eating of the cake begins. This explains his total irrelevance in today's scheme of things.

And yes, his pastor-ship smells very political to me. I don't know when he was appointed, and frankly I don't care. Anyone who claims to be a man of God and hears from God would not sit idle in this kind of predicament we have found ourselves in as a nation. Let's also note the General Overseer's silence on the matter.

Written by @eyekaywizard

Nigeria We Hail Thee

2016-09-23T00:24:00.000-07:00

Fifty Seven years ago, a group of men sat in a room; specifically three men. The fan was rotating slowly, the television was on and each of the men had a glass of water by their side. In a couple of days, the great Queen of the world’s most powerful empire in the world was going to declare the independence of their country to the world; in a few days, the Union Jack flag was going to be brought down and the venerable Green and White hoisted up.

Zik, Awolowo and Ahmadu Bello had spent the last few years negotiating Nigeria’s independence from Britain and finally the dream was almost a reality, a great country was being born, just a couple of days more. They looked at each other and smiled…. Wazobia’s great originators sitting in one small room.

Fifty seven years later and the dream of a great nation is still a dream, somehow along the way we lost the plot. Maybe it was the years of exchange of power between civilian rule and military dictatorship or the years of the Umbrella Party. Somehow somehow this is how we ended up.

A country where #ChangeBeginsWithYou is an actual thing; where the value of the Naira is sinking to the depths like the Titanic; where a bag of rice is more expensive than my Tuition Fee in a Federal University. Seriously? A bag of rice is N22K, Isn’t that the Minimum Wage amount sef?

In a few days’ time it will be October 1^st, Independence Day. Our Oga at the Top is going to go on air and list out a series of achievements the government has accomplished in 2016, tell the populace how our issues are a result of the rot caused by the Umbrella Part, tell us how we need to change the country by doing it individually…… Same rhetoric, different year.

It’s hard to feel optimistic about Naija, the old men cling on to power like flies to refuse. The young upcoming are continuously pushed back down. We recycle the past and pretend it’s the new; we refuse to fight back against an oppressive system because we’re Nigerians, we like to suffer and smile; to overcome adversity. Why must we have adversity in the first place? Is it a crime to enjoy?

As the countdown begins to October 1^st, we have a lot to think about, what is the way forward for us? How can we get there? Who will lead us there? Our issues still remain, entering deeper into the fabric of our skin,

Then again, how can we think about those things over the noise of our generators, the dollar is smacking us around like an angry mother we just offended. On the D-day, will I even have light to watch the Independence Day address sef

Written by The Primus @Primus_unbound

Buhari's Country

2016-09-21T00:55:00.004-07:00

Nigerians used to suffer and smile but now they suffer and suffer. There’s no limit to our pain anymore. IS ANYTHING WORKING? how can change begin with me when the ‘Oga at the top’ has not changed. Copying and pasting somebody’s change speech. 'Nwanne' calm down.
Every day, the ruling party keeps on blaming the previous ruling party for their failures. They keep forgetting that they were a large part of the old ruling party’s administration, some of them having decamped just a few hours into the elections. Pathetic, just pathetic. Ah mean, when do we go from pointing fingers to taking action? Look, I had a lot of hope on this government, how can change start from me when I’ve not eaten, when I have no job, my community has no tarred roads and every day I have to canvas through muddy terrain , stepping on stones and trying not to get muddied…EVERYDAY. Change has to start by keeping promises, Oga do something, you promised us jobs, give us jobs and if you want to create jobs, create an enabling environment but then I’m quite sure you know that, or do you?This is your country Sir, it is also our country but it is the brain that controls every part of the body if you remove the brain from the body…

So the APC are sharing noodles now, small noodles for that matter... I weak. Please we need better days

Nigerians can like short-cuts...

2016-09-16T00:39:00.001-07:00

We like short-cuts, everything we do is basically on the premise that there is a shorter way to any and all destinations. We cut through a bush path in order to get home quicker, we 'hang' PHCN wires when we've not paid our light bills, we always want to jump traffic. I wonder whose fault it is that we lack so much discipline, the people or the government but then the government is the people. Thus, we, the people have ourselves to blame for the chaos that we have immersed ourselves in. These days there are no more long road to success, a student will rather practice '419ing'
than build academic excellence because what lies at the end of 'academic excellence' are no jobs and no hope. An entrepreneur will rather smuggle banned goods with the cooperation of the government (people) because it will fetch him more profit, a contractor will not complete his contract (roads are left half finished, houses collapse and infrastructure are left uncompleted) with the aid of the government and they'll both share the spoils. Look, nobody is helping matters, the government does all sorts of 'things', dilly dally a lot, make promises of change now the other 'people' wants to 'change the change' because the change that has been promised hasn't been fulfilled. Terrible, just terrible. We are practically killing ourselves slowly. We need to work on ourselves, we need to help ourselves we need to stop justifying our wrongs, we need to wean ourselves of corrupt practices and by ourselves, I mean the people, US. If and only if we can mend our ways and try to do things the right way then we just might salvage the situation, if not, we are doomed.

Rams in Recession

2016-09-06T00:57:00.001-07:00

Seriously what in the name of Beejessuss is wrong with this country? Well, for starters, we are officially in recession, although I for one like many other Nigerians can attest to the fact that for over a year we have been receding towards recession. Prices of everything are soaring high on a daily basis and for what it's worth, the government now has an excuse for anything that goes awfully wrong. Increase in transport fare...Ah it’s the recession, Staple food on the increase...ah, it’s the recession, school fees hike…recession, inconclusive elections?…recession No more 'RAMS' on the block...

It’s the goddamn recession. Now that we are hearing that ‘they’ want to increase fuel price, they’ll be sure to blame it on the recession. The minister of petroleum I heard has said that there will be no increase in petroleum products but since that’s not the first time we are hearing such fairy tale…‘Ma broda, what to do?’

Now, the Ram sellers are complaining, nobody wants to buy Rams. Do you know how much a Ram costs?

“Checks by Online media revealed that the prices were higher than what the rams sold for in 2015, with a small size ram now being sold for #30,000 – #40,000 as against #17,000 it was sold last year.”

So the Rams have been affected by the recession, I wonder if the affected Muslims will resort to Chickens but I hope they do not. They should go for the Rams but not at a cost to their daily lives.

I totally like this Ram's beard

It's not Music, It's Ministry, is it?

2016-09-05T01:02:00.001-07:00

Our focus today is on God, no, not God...the artists and artisans who claim to dedicate work to him

Upon a time, I attended a vigil, and in the wee hours between when the vigil ended and when we could safely depart, a cheery young man accosted me. Handing me a CD in a transparent pack, he proclaimed it to be a sampling of the tracks from his album, and demanded #200 from me. My confusion was further compounded when he spread his hands like a bird about to take flight, and burst into a rendition, somewhere between a screech and a drawl, of something that can hardly pass for music. The words were garbled, partly by his voice, partly by my inattention, but what stuck out like a sore thumb was the phrase "a thanksful heart" (yes, dear reader, thanksful). I sat in surprise, my hands fiddling in my backpack for my earphones. I was extremely unhappy. For someone to be belting out such lyrics, and in praise of a Deity who is the giver of creativity, I almost felt insulted on God's behalf.

The level of 'wackness', if you get my drift, was shocking.

A lot of times, so-called Christian musicians and artistes package nonsense, and parade themselves from church to church, peddling mediocrity and passing it off as music, because the pastor will invariably ask the church crowd to buy, because...

...It's not music, it's ministry

The Christian Nollywood movie makers are not far behind in this infamy.

Third-rate actors, wacky camera work, abominable editing, directing that should never have seen the light of day, and for those films that are bilingual, or have to be subtitled, the people who subtitle them should just be jailed for crimes against the English language. Probably, the jobs are given to "christian brothers", with no thought for professionalism or expertise, and the result.....

It's not a movie, it's ministry.

War Room is a nice movie. Well written, well scripted, believable, characters one can relate with, and good, solid acting. Oh, it's a Christian movie as well. Casting Crowns, Creed, and Switchfoot have all either won, or been nominated for Grammy awards. Did I mention they are Christian musicians?

The abundance of art that surrounds Italy, Rome, and the Vatican is high in aesthetic value, quality, and appeal. The vast majority of it also has religious significance. So what exactly is our problem? Why is the poor quality and cringe-worthy stuff always dedicated to God in Africa, and Nigeria in particular?

Obviously, a great mental shift is needed.

The Police are just UGLY

2016-08-30T00:29:00.002-07:00

Now i don't know how they recruit these people. A bunch of hard faced, tall and scary looking fellas and females. Have you ever seen a mobile police in their black 'Ray Pens', my people please don't mess with those set of people, they can change your life for good by ending it.

They just reckless, the way they deal with people and the way they never do things by the book. Have the police ever caught up with you at night when you are driving in your not so expensive car, I tell you that if you look under 40 then it just might be a crime.

This is because THE YOUTH have been tagged as the bad and the terrible, the Youth are the ones who dabble into fraud aka 'yahoo' aka 'Gee', the youth are also the ones who engage in all sort of heinous crimes like rituals and the like. The thing is 'NOT ALL YOUTH' engage in evil activities of the night so why would you want to check the content of my phone...you ugly police, why would you want to harass me, even threaten with me your guns, leave me cowering with fear, anticipating that each moment a stray bullet will catch me directly in the eye...you ugly police.

Of course, I understand that the police are trying to do their work but when their work involves putting the lives of the citizens whom they've sworn to protect at risk, things get really ugly. that's not the kind of police we need in this country. They can be ruthless but please Police, do things by the book.

APC how far???!!!

2016-08-29T00:26:00.001-07:00

This is way too bad. the fact that these people do not have any plan as to how to move the country forward in any way. All the plan they had was about getting into power and boy did they do that!!! they control the majority of the power in the country and still on still we are not only still we are trending backward. It almost looks like we've been cursed. nothing the government does works and if we cant do any better then the 'change ' mantra should be changed to 'deranged' because its crazy whats going on in the country.

The dollar is about #400 in the parallel market, the bag of rice is costlier than the monthly salary of over a million people, no infrastructure, no light, no roads (no minister of works, power and housing?) Hey, there's a train that plies the Abuja-Kaduna route, that's about the only thing that works. the people are still hungry and we do not have options, or do we?

Heaven$ Please

2016-08-25T07:04:00.001-07:00

The Bible actually made mention of 144,000 people making Heaven. are we supposed to take that literally, metaphorically or spiritually? I chose to take it literally. there are over 7 billion people inhabiting the earth, not to mention those who are dead and of all those people, only 144,000!!! let me make it clearer; 7,000,000,000 - 144,000 = 6,999,856,000 i.e. Six Billion, nine hundred and ninety nine million, eight hundred and fifty six thousand people will make HELL. That's just Sad. unfortunately for the human race, this may just happen. now I'm not sure who'll make heaven, is it just the Christians, what about the Muslims, the Hindus the Buddhists, the Pagans nko? are all these people destined for hell, if so hell will really be crowded. no wonder there will be gnashing of teeth and a lot of body odour. Back to the Christians or should I say 'satians' because they are no longer Christ-like they more like Mr Satan, hypocrites. They say one thing and do another. Just because they've ingrained it upon themselves that God is a merciful God, they use that as an excuse to indulge in all sorts of acts under the cover of darkness because they feel that their God will forgive them. Today, we have business Christians who go to church to exhibit their wealth and not even the Pastors are left out. They talk a whole mouthful during service. they preach 'no adultery, no fornication (now I know why its called lip service) but as soon as their members turn their backs, they take them unawares from behind...at times 144,000 is surely looking like a possibility.

I MUST CHOP RICE THIS YEAR!!!

2016-08-24T05:10:00.000-07:00

Well why wouldn’t I? It’s getting worse really, the situation of the country, still Nigerians survive. These Nigerians are really industrious and regardless of what is thrown at them, they manage to come out of it unscathed. We are Nigerians. I am a Nigerian and I must eat rice this year. Somebody say Amen to that…Damn!!! First it was tomatoes; the price of this particular vegetable sky rocketed to the point that stew was no longer an option, and we opted for Palm Oil. Now it’s the Rice. What in the name of PMB is happening? A bag of rice sells at the moment for #22,000 and that’s f****d up really. I can no longer fathom or even comprehend what the poor masses are to do now that one of their major staple foods is more costly than the basic minimum wage. It’s quite a pity, nevertheless, I still express great optimism that I’ll continue to eat rice regardless of the cost and because I’ll keep hustling and keep striving to survive.

I believe we can fly

2012-08-29T17:58:00.001-07:00

don't create the life i live,
i live the life i create
make the moves i make with faith
never late punctual to a fault
sign triangles not in a cult
got all i got using my wits,
my life complete, my wheels of steel
got to keep moving, mind of strong will
sure shit happens, walk past it so i don't slip and stumble.
if i die, i die, I'm only human, i cry
but i try and don't i fly
my o my, success comes with a price so also is failure and it can't be disguised
so it goes without saying, work and earn, fail you learn, the end doesn't always justify the means, there's no need to pretend, cos all there is in the world is either you or them. learn to live, learn to believe, learn not to be eve, to be able to deceive and not to be deceived, and hope it makes you a better person. some learn the hard way, others decide they'd rather pray, I'm not saying u should get on your knees but at least work the grease, get released of the stress and remain blessed