Havering On

Running the asylum the inmates are

2010-07-20T09:03:00.002+01:00

Fast broadband is a very important tool for the development of rural economies. So our Scottish Parliament member John Lamont asks a perfectly reasonable question of the Scottish Executive at Holyrood last week.

"How much it would cost to upgrade the (a) Abbey St Bathans, (b) Cappercleugh, (c) Longformacus and (d) Whitsome telephone exchanges to full platform ADSL exchanges."

The minister, Jim Mather, replies. "Information on the cost of upgrading the Abbey St Bathans, Cappercleugh, Longformacus and Whitsome telephone exchanges to full platform ADSL is commercially sensitive and therefore cannot be released by the Scottish Government."

What utter bollocks! running the asylum the inmates are . . .please rearrange. . . There is no other company providing rural telephone exchanges, no likelihood of any and so how come it's commercially sensitive?

BA Cabin Crew

2010-05-11T10:42:00.002+01:00

I've been so busy writing that the blog has not just taken a back seat, it's practically fallen off the bus. Nevertheless, a friend just sent me this. It is brilliant. . .

MSP's on Chav Watch

2010-03-10T06:45:00.003+00:00

SNP MSP Jamie Hepburn has tabled a Holyrood motion claiming that Venezuela has been "transformed" by President Hugo Chávez. His motion calls on MSPs to show "solidarity" with Mr Chavez's government and has been backed by the SNP's Bill Kidd, Alasdair Allan and Bill Wilson, as well as Labour's Elaine Smith. Let's just be clear here shall we. This is a country that recently devalued its currency and stands accused of becoming increasingly autocratic by imposing restrictions on the media and politicising the military and judiciary. In fact President Chavez is not some warm and cuddly man who you'd want to invite round for tea. What's more it's got bugger all to do with the issues facing Scotland and is a complete waste of the parliament's time and energy.

I wonder what these MSP's constituents would make of it all. "Aye that Hugo Chávez, he's that new signing for Celtic. He's the one one what wears the Burberry all the time.

The Scotsman's Irrelevant

2010-03-08T07:44:00.003+00:00

Interestingly the circulation of the Scotsman was 46, 976 between July and December last year. That's less than 1 in 100 Scots who are buying the paper. They manage to get their readership figures up to 177,000, meaning around 1 in 30 Scots actually read The Scotsman, making it largely irrelevant. (Note to self, cancel subscription)

The Scotsman is no longer a newspaper

2010-03-08T07:37:00.003+00:00

The Scotsman is no longer worthy of being called a newspaper. It seems to have degenerated into somethingfar less useful. The case of Steven Purcell, the Glasgow council leader, one of the most important jobs in Scottish public life has been covered in far from thorough terms. Take today's rather limp 500 words about decisions he made not being reviewed by the Glasgow council (and why not?). Steven Purcell got 500 words of coverage in the paper today while a story about Baden Powell's 1930's possible links to the Hitler Youth movement got over 800 words.

Yeah Right!

2010-03-06T13:09:00.003+00:00

No 10 also fiercely denied Conservative claims Mr Brown was using the visit to troops in Afghanistan to divert attention away from the row over his refusal to sign off on equipment.

Is the moment when Labour lost the election?

2010-03-06T10:40:00.001+00:00

“Every request that the military commanders made to us for equipment was answered. No request was ever turned down.”

Gordon Brown, 5 March 2010, Chilcot Enquiry

The Last Days of Rome?

2010-02-25T19:34:00.004+00:00

I'm obviously missing something here.

RBS are paying bonuses worth £1.3 billion to its employees. The Chief Executive of RBS meanwhile is saying, they have lost money because they are not paying big enough bonuses. His rather patronising attitude during interviews on TV show a man who is rather tired of having to answer such petty questions from interviewers, some of who may bank with RBS, daring to ask him what is going on, on behalf of us, the shareholders.

But most worrying of all are the bloody wimps – the socialist, Labour, government of the people, advocates of a fairer Britain, those who are standing up for the underdog, I don't frankly give a monkey's, bunch of second rate, insulated, do as I say not as I do tossers that masquerade as the British Government. They put billions of our money into RBS, we own 84% of the bank, yet the government think it unnecessary to be asking just who are getting the million pound bonuses. Why are they not doing what the US government is doing and insisting we know who this mysterious bankers are? If the Labour government think this in any way enhances their credibility then I am totally mystified. And don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely certain that the Conservatives would do no better. It's just inexplicable that a so-called Socialist government can behave in such a manner.

And let's not kid ourselves shall we. Just who are these bankers going to go and work for if they don't get the level of bonuses that Britain's banks are paying?

I am becoming so disillusioned by what is going on with politics. It's not a bloody game (with particular reference to that idiot Alex Salmond and his display in Holyrood today) it affects our national state of mind. Is it any wonder that we are a nation in terminal decline. Is it just me that thinks we are living in the last days of Rome?

A Fairer Britain or The Forces of Hell?

2010-02-23T20:54:00.005+00:00

Good! So that's alright then. We now all know that Mr Brown is not a bully. He's just someone who cares and is determined to build a fairer Britain.

In the meantime Mr Darling, arguably the next most important man in government to the PM, has confirmed in an interview with Sky News that two of the Prime Minister's key aides briefed long and hard against the Chancellor when he predicted, back in 2008 that Britain's economy was in for a very rough time. According to Mr Darling, "the forces of hell were unleashed." Now who could have unleashed the forces? The 'forces of hell', clearly not a very nice man. But does this constitute bullying. No it probably does not but what then followed exposes someone who is clearly hell-bent on getting his own way.

During the summer Mr Brown wanted to replace Mr Darling with Ed 'Blinker' Balls, but Mr Darling got his own back by refusing to be replaced, insisting he would resign to the back benches rather than accept another job in government. This would have made the PM's job close to untenable. Result Mr Darling is still in No.11, while Mr Brown remains in No.10.

Now all this can do little for the smooth working of government in these most testing of times. Mr Brown is clearly someone who likes to get his own way. For years he wanted the top job, over which he agreed a deal with Tony Blair. Now is it, was it, right that Tony Blair, who said he was going to serve a full term, stepped down to allow a man into the top job who is most obviously not cut out for such a role?

As I've often said on this blog, Mr Brown is not a leader, he is not the stuff from which leaders are made. All that has gone on since he has come to power shows a man who is Machiavellian, a man who has not the skills to be PM and most worryingly a man who is by inclination introverted rather than an extrovert. Leadership in a parliamentary democracy, one that is founded on the longstanding principals of cabinet rule does not sit well with Mr Brown (nor did it with his predecessor but he was a lot cleverer, as were those he gathered around him.) Gordon Brown is a controller, not a leader.

Vast column inches are given over to the opinion polls, the tea leaves and crystal ball gazing by pollsters trying to determine who is ahead, and by how much, and what it could all mean for our future government. Clearly Mr Cameron has not grabbed the electoral high ground; it might all change when we have the TV debates, but then again it may not. So could Gordon Brown still be PM after the election? Yes he could, and then the country will be in real trouble. Watch then the infighting and the jockeying before the knives come out. We will be faced with a Labour party who thinks it is omnipotent, one that will contain even less experience than the current cabinet. Who will push the knife into Mr Brown should he win in a couple of months?

Gordon Brown may want to be careful what he wishes for. . .

The Monaco Foody

2010-02-21T13:18:00.004+00:00

There are few people in this world who like eating, cooking, talking about food, writing about it (with great passion) and generally waxing lyrical than The Monaco Foody. Mrs H says I live to eat. If that's the case then the Monaco Foody invented living! Read his blog HERE. . .you will come away famished.

Exactly Why Do MSPs Get Paid?

2010-02-10T20:46:00.004+00:00

Supper's ready said Mrs H in a voice redolent of Peter Gabriel and Genesis. A visit to the dentists with nothing much more than a spot of cleaning had me perfectly in the mood for some piazza, salad and a nice single malt. As an accompaniment we tuned into BBC Scotland's news – a privilege denied to most of you I suspect. One of the main items on the news was a piece on council budgets and a debate in the Scottish Parliament - the numptorium, as it's unaffectionately known to many. Clearly this issue is of major importance as there are likely to be some serious job losses and some real negative effects on local economies, particularly in rural areas. The Camera is tight in on John Swinney who is waxing lyrical, as only he can, on the numbers game that is the devolved Scottish budget. Camera pulls back to reveal an almost empty chamber, maybe a dozen MSPs of various political persuasions, but precious few of any one party.

So precisely why do they get paid? Obviously it's not to turn up for work like the rest of us. Wasn't there a load of hubris back in the early days of the parliament suggesting that the Scottish version would be much better than the London one, with MSPs being attentive and attending? You wonder what it is they do? I know I should be much less surprised but it would be nice to think that they did their jobs a little better. Then again perhaps the whole charade of the debate is just a waste of time and they might as well not bother.

Arsene Whinger

2010-02-09T13:06:00.003+00:00

How come it's always someone else's fault when you lose?

Unbelievable – Jim Devine

2010-02-05T21:33:00.002+00:00

This is unbelievable on every level. However, what is most worrying is the fact that this is one of the 646 MPs who are elected to supposedly run our country. Watch this and weep. . .

Ed Milliband – Am I Bovered?

2010-01-31T20:50:00.002+00:00

According to today's Daily Mail Ed Milliband, the brother of that man with the pencil case, has broken his silence on the ongoing row about man-made climate change by declaring war on the 'siren voices' who denied global warming was real or man-made.

Bovered?

She ain't No SuBo!

2010-01-30T19:52:00.004+00:00

This woman is suing Simon Cowell under the the Disability Discrimination Act 1995. She claims he and the other judges on Britain's Got Talent didn't give her a chance. This is everything that is utterly wrong about these type of programmes. They give people, with absolutely no talent whatsoever, a false impression of their chances of success. In this woman's case she has no chance of ever being a singer – she's clearly tone deaf. Embedding a youtube video has been denied, no doubt by her legal team. Just go HERE to hear absolute rubbish.

The BBC's Very Own Management Bollocks

2010-01-26T11:07:00.004+00:00

If ever I doubted there would be enough material for Management Bollocks 2 then bless the BBC. They are advertising for a 'Change Lead' position in their internal newspaper. They describe the position as. . .' 'responsible for shaping and managing the execution of the change ambition' for the Digital Media Initiative Programme.

In the meantime I'm just finishing Political Bollocks – the biggest challenge? Fitting it all into 124 pages!

The Great Del Shannon!

2010-01-25T13:09:00.002+00:00

I've just written the sleeve notes for a new 30 Del Shannon compilation. It's a fabulous musical journey through the career of one of the greats from the 60s. You can buy it HERE

Trump's Hole?

2010-01-21T20:08:00.002+00:00

Rubislaw Quarry in Aberdeen, Europe’s largest man-made hole, is on the market for £30,000. Perhaps the Donald will buy it and turn it into 'the world's greatest water feature'

A Showboat to the Maldives

2010-01-20T08:21:00.003+00:00

It's been revealed that Scotland's main climate change champion, none other than our Glorious Leader Alex Salmond is to visit the Maldives en-route to the Commonwealth Games in Delhi. It's not as some of you may assume because it's the Maldives Derby or Grand National, no it's so he can study the effects of climate on the Islands. The visit has been promoted because Mr Salmond signed an agreement with the government of the Maldives to help combat global warming at the recent climate change summit in Copenhagen.

Seriously, does his actions make any difference at all? With the problems that beset our economy, news that the NHS in Scotland does not perform as well as in England and all the other issues that we have – like the SNP's wilful desecraeation of Scotland through the gung-ho policy of approving wind farms – does he honestly think this is the best use of his time?

Rather than flying to the Maldives perhaps he should take a showboat

Do you have a bladder problem?

2010-01-18T13:12:00.003+00:00

Well it seems that you may not be alone. So un-alone in fact that someone has created runpee.com. It's a site that tells you when you can go to the bathroom while you're at the cinema without missing anything vital in a movie.

How the BBC Say Sorry

2010-01-16T18:19:00.006+00:00

According to the BBC Complaints web site they should have done better on the One Show in their piece of biased reporting.

Complaint

We received complaints that an item about politics and class in The One Show on 14 January was biased against the Conservative Party.

The BBC's response

A number of comments have been made about the report on class on The One Show on 14 January. It is one of several features that The One Show will air in the run up to the election, covering political parties and politicians. We accept that the piece was not as good as it should have been. The One Show production team are aware of their responsibilities to ensure fairness in their output.

They cannot quite bring themselves to admit that it was just plain wrong. By saying "We accept that the piece was not as good as it should have been," it demonstrates all that is wrong with a culture that emanates from by the overpaid and overpromoted DG

Rupert Holmes – Pursuit of Happiness

2010-01-16T12:22:00.006+00:00

It's back. . .after a sabbatical of unprecedented length. It's the album of the week. I've written about Rupert Holmes before, his Widescreen album was the first of his that I ever bought. I had all of them on vinyl back in the 1970s and 80s but they got sold in either the great financial necessity purge or a later space saving purge. I've been in pursuit of them all ever since and today I finally got the last one, The Pursuit of Happiness.

It was released in 1978 and even then was somewhat at odds with the prevailing mood of pop. Rupert's songs are complex and witty but they are always catchy and just about every track on this album is super catchy. From the opening number, 'Less is more' you are invited into an intimate world of New York loft apartments and sophisticated people – today it might just sound a triffle dated to some (Ok, a lot dated in its feel and form) but I love it. I've always been a sucker for great pop songs and that's what this album and all of Rupert's albums are all about. Other standout tracks include, 'So Beautiful it Hurts', 'Speechless', 'Let's Get Crazy Tonight', 'Guitars' and 'The Long Way Home'.

If you only know Rupert Holmes from 'Escape (The Pina Colada Song) don't be put off. It's a song that has had a huge amount of airplay and perhaps has a tendency to grate for some in that the story wears thin after too many listenings. That's not a charge that you can level at the vast majority Rupert's output.

In recent years he's written a couple of very good books. I've read Swing, a good murder mystery and I have Where the Truth Lies to read. There's also a new book called The Musician's Daughter

The BBC's Bias as Exemplified by The One Show

2010-01-15T16:40:00.002+00:00

I've just sent this complaint to the BBC....probably a lot of good it will do...

Is it really the BBC's job to make party political broadcasts for the Labour Party? The piece on yesterday’s One Show was incredibly one sided and its whole tone was anti-David Cameron – just because he went to public school and had a privileged background. The people that were interviewed were a lop-sided group, including Kevin McGuire of the Daily Mirror who is lock stock and barrel Labour. What would happen if it was a package asking the question, do we really want a Scot as our Prime Minister. That of course would be unthinkable for the BBC because it would be racist. Even the presenter's follow-up was biased.

Yet again we see the institutional bias of the BBC come to the fore. Perhaps your millionaire DG who went to public school has something to say about it?

Not Only are Policemen Looking Younger. . .

2010-01-14T17:43:00.002+00:00

"I used to be able to walk around my local supermarket but now someone else will do my shopping for security reasons."

No, not a member of the Royal Family, a senior politician or an X-Factor winner. It's 46-year-old Peter Vaughan, the new head of South Wales police (since New Year’s Day). He's paid £144,500 a year to come out with this kind of crap!

The Macdonald's were right. . .

2010-01-12T22:10:00.002+00:00

. . .you should never trust a Campbell