He Wears Combat Boots, I Wear Stilettos

Things are changin'

2015-05-04T10:41:00.002-04:00

Kids are growing like weeds. Little Man turns four in less than 5 weeks and my Little Miss, well she isn't so little anymore. Only 1 month left of kindergarten and she just turned six on Tuesday. They are blossoming into the most beautiful little creatures. Kind hearted, sweet, and a little silliness. As they grow older I love them more and more and love the things I can do with them.

We have now lived in Germany for a little over a year. I love it. We all love it. Brantley attends German Kindergarten and has learned so much. He has even begun to sound like a German even when he speaks English. It is pretty funny but ultimately just awesome. We live in a small town with about 40 houses. Behind our house is a cow farm with about 15 cows and lots of little calves. When we first moved in before we got internet we would spend hours laying in our bed looking at the cows from our bedroom window. We even named them and gave them voices.

Reflecting back over the last year, I am immensely grateful for getting to live here. This place is relaxing and peaceful. The scenery is breathtaking and more beautiful than words could begin to describe. Most days, I have to pinch myself because it truly is like living in a post card.

Unfortunately, this time here will be coming to an end much faster than we had anticipated. We haven't told many people yet; just close friends and family. My husband is leaving the military on a medical retirement. He is happy about it which is good. His body is in pain and I am glad the military has finally diagnosed him and he can hopefully improve his quality of life with the help of medication s injections. He has been battling this for many years but it took them a long time to find out what was wrong.

And as far as me. I am just floating. Enjoying life. Soon, I get to decide what the next chapter for me means. But until then, it's a matter of tying up loose ends here and once again preparing for another international move.

What's Wrong With Two?

2014-05-07T09:38:00.001-04:00

I find myself constantly getting asked when I will another baby. I have two children. Brantley, who's turning 3 in a few weeks and Lena Jo who just turned 5. These kids, are amazing.

See?! Aren't they perfect?! I really hit the jackpot with these two. They sleep well. They behave most of the time. They are funny and silly and really are the best of friends. They are kind and considerate of others. I'm happy. On our best days sure, sometimes I ponder how nice it would be to have a little baby to kiss on. But then I think of all of the reasons why the two I have...complete our family. I love my kids and if I had another one it would be another blessing. But, for us...as of now we are a two kid family and don't plan on changing that anytime soon.

We love to travel, my husband and I. Having two kids makes traveling a breeze and relatively inexpensive. This is one HUGE reason why we don't want to have more. We also really love that our kids are growing up and becoming more independent. The idea of starting all over is pretty scary to say the least. I can't imagine.

There are a plethora of other reasons why we don't want more kids. But what it comes down to is that this is what works for our family. I am so sick of moms being given unsolicited advice about the number of kids or anything regarding parenting. If you only have 1 or 2 kids you need to have one more or if you have 4 or 5 you have too many. This kind of thinking is insane. It is no one's choice but the parent's on how many children to have. Let's stop judging everyone around us and enjoy the life we have been given.

My Music Idol

2014-04-25T15:00:00.000-04:00

I'm sure I've talked about my favorite man before but given I didn't blog much in 2013 he deserves another post. If you've never heard the music stylings of Chris Carrabba you probably should. He was the lead man in a little group called Dashboard Confessional. He also fronted Further Seems Forever. Now, he his heading up a new band called Twin Forks. So different from anything he has done before and it is truly where is passion lies. Twin Forks is a little bit bluegrass and a lot of awesome! Take a listen...

And in honor of his new band...here are pictures from all of the times I seen him in concert and met him!

1. The very first time I saw Chris Carrabba I have zero pictures. It was my junior hear in high school and I saw him up in Michigan performing as Dashboard confessional back in 2005.
2. The second time was in college I saw him with my best friend, M, at the Newport Music Hall in Columbus. Waiting 9 hours to be front row. SCORE!

3. The next time I saw him was with M up in Michigan when I was about 5 months pregnant with Little Miss. Her first concert :)

4. Then I saw him in Florida at the House of Blues in Orlando with my other best friend S. This concert is VERY memorable because when we were just a mile from my house(after driving over an hour home) we were hit by a drunk driver. It was terrible. But it brought us closer and the concert was amazing!

5. Fifth time was with S again at the Taste of Pinellas Festival in St. Petersburg, FL. This was such a great show and we got to meet him for the first time! After five shows, I was so happy to finally get to talk with him. He is such a nice guy!

6. Then S and I saw him again at the Funshine Music Fest in Tampa at the State Fairgrounds. And we talked to him again.

7. Chris put out an album with Further Seems Forever and did a small tour. We saw them at The Social in Orlando. Another memorable show!

8. Then I saw him again at The Social in Orlando with A performing with Twin Forks! So so good!

Dying for him to do a European show so I can see him again!!

The No Closet Challenge

2014-04-23T04:25:00.000-04:00

Good Morning from Germany!
The kids and I are stuck in a one bedroom apartment everyday while my husband is in-processing which means if the weather isn't nice the kids end up watching movies on the laptop while I search Pinterest and surf my favorite home decor blogs. So there is one little(big) problem in our new house. It has no closets. Did your jaw drop? Because mine did when the realization hit me. In our Florida house I had a HUGE walk in closet. So big that it even fit a dresser as well as several shoe racks and other storage essentials in it.

So I have been scouring the internet for ideas on how in the heck I am going to make this work for a family of four who has a lot of clothes. Something I have really been loving is garment racks. They can just be so chic when done right. Now this would not work for all of our clothes because that would just look messy. But maybe a garment rack paired with some German shranks(wooden closets/armoires). Then maybe I could hide it all behind a curtain? Or maybe we block off half the living room and make that a play room so we can make one of the bedrooms a dressing room? So many ideas. Well here are some of my inspirations via pinterest...

via Ikea

via pinterest

Don't these pictures make you want to rid yourselves of closets forever?? Okay, maybe that's slightly dramatic. But, they give me hope. Hope that my house will be beautiful even without closets to hide all of my stuff! Happy Wednesday!

Germany:First Look at our House

2014-04-21T12:40:00.002-04:00

It sure has been a while but now that I am here in Germany I hope to return to the blog world for good. I will be a stay at mom again so I will have a lot of time on my hands! I wanted to share some "First Look" pictures of the house we will be living in. They are finishing up renovations so we have to wait until May 1 to move in which is hard! We are so anxious! The pictures are not great as I just got a brand new cell phone and took them with that(not quite sure how to work it yet). But next time we see the house I will have my regular camera with me!
The house is located in Neusstrasburg, Germany. 2000sqft, 5 bedrooms, and 2 bathrooms. I'm swooning over this house just looking at the pictures again. It is so much more beautiful in person!

The house is on a decent size piece of land and will soon have a terrace off the back and a new patio/balcony off the front! On the hill is a Cow farm. Such a beautiful view!

You can't see but to the left is a big tub. Ahhh I love it!

We will definitely be getting grippers for the stairs as they are not made well for little feet!

I couldn't fit the whole kitchen in the picture. This kitchen is gorgeous and huge! I cannot wait to cook meals in it!!

Things will be changing on the blog. I cannot wait to update you on the progression of our home as well as all of our adventures here in Germany. I have missed this blog so much and am thrilled to be back!!!!

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!

2013-12-17T18:10:00.001-05:00

Well Folks. I haven't forgotten about this blog. But with working full time, health issues, two kids, and a husband on night shift....I've been nothing short of busy. But we found out some super exciting news Sunday night!

After almost 5 years of living at my husband's first duty station we will be moving...to SPANGDAHLEM, GERMANY!!! I am so excited I've been squealing since we found out! I will be quitting my job at the end of January and we will be heading out in April! So here's to hopefully blogging again and to a life in a beautiful country!

Defeated.

2013-10-10T11:23:00.000-04:00

Three weeks post op from my tonsillectomy and here I am sick again. For a year now I have been getting sick about every other week. My body is weak. I'm exhausted 24/7 no matter how much sleep I get. I am young. I am or at least I thought I was healthy. I am in shape. So why? Why am I sick all of the time? Why am I always so tired? I really thought this surgery was going to solve my problems. I was excited to finally take my life back and start really living again. But here I am feeling awful and run down again. Zero energy. Zero motivation. Zero hope of feeling better.

So back to the Dr. I go next week.

Well, hello

2013-09-19T18:08:00.000-04:00

It has been a seriously long time since I have blogged. I started working full time a year ago and life has been non stop since then. Hubby was deployed from October to February. He has been home since he got back form deployment. Currently he is on night shift and I work days. Our kids got another year older. Little miss is now four and in preschool and little man is now two. They are growing so fast and I love every minute of it. My job is going so well. In one year I've had two raises and one promotion and as stressful as it is I just love it. It's a big change form staying home with the kids but I really enjoy it although I do miss them.

Things have overall been going really great for my family and I. My husband and I recently had a cruise just the two of us which was so wonderful. We also just celebrated our five year wedding anniversary.

Right now I am recovering from my tonsillectomy I had yesterday. Prior to surgery the Dr said it is a much harder recovery for adults than kids. I really didn't think it was going to be so bad but boy was I wrong. My jaw is sore and my throat is just in so much pain. They gave me strong pain meds and they don't seem to be helping much at all. I can't really chew because my jaw hurts and even swallowing water hurts. I've already dropped 3 pounds in two days. I'm pretty miserable but thankfully my husband is taking good care of me. Unfortunately, he has to go back to work on Monday though. I am hopefull that I will have a quick recovery although the dr told me it will take at least two weeks before I fell better. Hoping he's wrong.

Marriage Equality and My Thoughts

2013-03-26T18:25:00.001-04:00

Let me start this post by saying I have a very strong opinion on this but I do not plan on sharing either way what I feel.

So I get that people also share strong opinions and expressing them as great. Do I think changing your profile picture to either a plus sign or equal sign makes a difference.. Not entirely.. Do I think it just makes the problem worse? In some ways.

We live in the United States of America. A place where the freedom of opinions is rapid and we have the wonderful freedom of speech. We are all different. Some of us support gay marriage some of us don't. Some of us base out opinions on our religious beliefs while some base them on a loved one who just wants to marry their best friend.

I have seen so many posts from those who are in favor of gay marriage stating if you do not support it they will delete you from Facebook and from their life. This just saddens me. We talk about equality but yet only one side is aloud an opinion?

Everyone has an opinion. Everyone should be tolerant of those with differing opinions. There is no reason to unfriendly someone because they are different whether they are gay, straight, Christian, or atheist. I love my friends for who they are not because of they love. Does this mean I support gay marriage? Maybe, maybe not. The fact is I live my life they way I see fit and I keep my political views to myself. I will support what I think is right and I will not support what I disagree with.

Be your own person. Vote for what you believe in. But please don't ever dislike someone because they have a different political view then you. Because that is ignorant and well...unequal. We are all deserving of an opinion. Right or wrong.

No Tears

2012-11-27T22:35:00.001-05:00

Oh, the joys of facebook....a place where people flaunt their whole lives for others to see. I am a frequent facebook user on my personal account and enjoy reading updates from friends and family. I feel like I've been seeing a lot of sadness on facebook lately. Whether it be a lady who hasn't seen her boyfriend all day(gasp!) or someone whose spouse is deployed. I totally get how lonely these times are and how sad it can be.

BUT I must be in the minority...I'm not sad. I don't spend my nights crying into a glass of wine. My heart is not aching. I don't feel like I'm going to lose control at any moment. I'm not a basketcase.

OF COURSE, I miss my husband. BUT I am tough. I am strong. I am independent. I am making the best of the situation I've been dealt. Isn't that what you have to do?

I don't want to cry for 4 months. I want to make memories and have fun with my kids! So that is what we are doing. We are having movies nights with popcorn and hot cocoa. We are feeding giraffes at the zoo. We are going to the beach and building sandcastles. We are seeing drive inn movies. We are enjoying life and making a hard time into a great time!!

The way I look at it is that this is four months of just my kids and I. Four months of me bonding with them 24/7(except when I'm at work). And I'm LOVING it. My kids and I have gotten so much closer....and THAT is a positive. Our family does not feel complete but we are bonding and making memories the best way we know how. And there are no tears here...but there will be tears of joy in two months:)

Thanks, thanks a lot.

2012-11-23T00:26:00.001-05:00

Today and I am thankful for all the normal things...my kids of course, my fur baby, my husband, and all of my amazing friends and family.

In addition to the obvious things I am thankful for many nontraditional thigd as well...

I am thankful for not being rich. I'm thankful that we aren't greedy. I'm thankful that we are given times when we have to swallow our pride and ask for help. I'm thankful our kids are not spoiled with material possessions but are spoiled with love instead.

I am thankful for the low self esteem, depression, and bullying I endured as a child and into my teenage years. As My kids grow I am thankful I have experienced these things because I know how to handle them. I am a strong and independent because of the life I've lived. I have overcome many hard times with God's grace and for that I am so thankful.

I am thankful for where I grew up because it was a melting pot of different races and religions. I am thankful that I don't see color when I look at someone. I am able to look at someone's soul.

I am thankful for all of the people that are fake and lie because they have helped me to have an even better intuition about people's real intention. I am also thankful because it has made me appreciate those wonderful people I do have in my life even more.

And last but not least...I am thankful for this blog. This has carried me through life for 2 and a half years. All of you have been so kind and sweet. I appreciate each and every reader.

Thanks, thanks a lot.

2012-11-23T00:22:00.001-05:00

Today and I am thankful for all the normal things...my kids of course, my fur baby, my husband, and all of my amazing friends and family.

In addition to the obvious things I am thankful for many nontraditional things as well...

I am thankful for not being rich. I'm thankful that we aren't greedy. I'm thankful that we are given times when we have to swallow our pride and ask for help. I'm thankful our kids are not spoiled with material possessions but are spoiled with love instead.

I am thankful for the low self esteem, depression, and bullying I endured as a child and into my teenage years. As My kids grow I am thankful I have experienced these things because I know how to handle them. I am a strong and independent because of the life I've lived. I have overcome many hard times with God's grace and for that I am so thankful.

I am thankful for where I grew up because it was a melting pot of different races and religions. I am thankful that I don't see color when I look at someone. I am able to look at someone's soul.

I am thankful for all of the people that are fake and lie because they have helped me to have an even better intuition about people's real intention. I am also thankful because it has made me appreciate those wonderful people I do have in my life even more.

And last but not least...I am thankful for this blog. This has carried me through life for 2 and a half years. All of you have been so kind and sweet. I appreciate each and every reader.

Help.

2012-11-04T07:14:00.002-05:00

I've never been one to except help. If someone offered to watch my kids or make me a meal while Husband was away I would always say Thanks but no Thanks. I'm tough and independent and I hate anything that makes me feel weak. Like crying. I hate crying.

It's been almost 5 weeks since Husband left. I work full time. I can count on one hand how many times I've actually made a big homemade meal since he left. It's sad, really.

Well I've had two people offer to make me dinner and I've excepted both times. Last night my neighbors offered to take Little Miss to dinner with them...I jumped at that and spent two hours cleaning while Little Man 'helped'. It's these kinds of actions from others that are helping me survive this deployment.

And for once in my life I've learned to except the help others are offering. I can't always be strong and I don't always have it all together.

Pet Pinup

2012-10-21T20:14:00.003-04:00

Once again Animal Planet has asked my pup to participate in the pet halloween costume contest. Last year Jasmine was dressed as a turtle and won! This year we chose the wooly mamouth costume and if I do say so myself she looks pretty darn cute! I love Animal Planet's costumes. So much variety and the costumes are made to last. Jasmine seems to like them too:)

So please go vote for her and show some love to the best furry friend a girl could have!

[Jasmine 2 is my pup]

CLICK HERE TO VOTE

Passion vs. Talent

2012-10-14T22:57:00.000-04:00

Passion. Passion as defined by wikipedia is as follows...

Passion is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something.

Talent. Talent as defined by dictionary.com is...

noun

a special natural ability or aptitude: a talent for drawing.

a capacity for achievement or success; ability: young men oftalent.

a talented person: The cast includes many of the theater's majortalents.

a group of persons with special ability: an exhibition ofwatercolors by the local talent.

So let's look at passion for a moment. Passion is a very strong feeling about a person or thing. An intense emotion. To me passion is a God given or learned emotion for something or someone. Passion can be fueled by environment and be something you are born with. For example some might have a passion for hard work after watching their dad work hard all of their life. Or a child might develop a passion for horseriding because their best friend has a horse. Someone may develop a passion for the french language because it was the only available elective in school for them to take. Passions can go unnoticed if not developed and passions can be found in the things you never thought you would like.[sidenote: I developed a passion for french. I wanted to take spanish and had hated french but it was the only language with spots left. Who knew I would fall in love with not only the language but the culture.]

Talent. Talent is a natural, God given ability. Something you are born with. A good example of this is Athletes. Some athletes are just born to be athletic. It's like it is in their blood. Models, anyone? Did you know to be a successful model you must be about 5'9" in height? That is TALL for a woman. God given talent, right?

So, what do you do when you have the passion but not the talent? Well, you can work hard, sure. You can put all of your money, time, and ability to make yourself as great at your passion as you can get. But what happens if that's not enough? What happens if you love something so much it hurts but you just don't have enough talent? Do you give up? Do you just continue singing to your showerhead because no one else wants to hear your voice? Do you just continue dancing in front of the mirror? Or playing hoops at the park because no one will let you play on their team? Hard work pays off. Always. But hard work can only take you so far....it's that natural ability that can set you apart from everyone else and puts you on top.

This is something I have struggled with my entire life. I'm honestly not even sure what God wanted with me sometimes. I don't have many talents. I have passions. STRONG passions. But natural abilities and talents just don't line up with my passions. I find myself questioning my goals all of the time because I just don't know what I'm meant to do. If I could pursue my passions I would be the happiest person in the world but I know I don't have the talent to do so. So what then? Give up my dreams and keep quiet? Go after them knowing I'm only going to get rejection? I sure wish I had some answers.

That Awkward Moment When..

2012-10-03T20:11:00.002-04:00

So I need to give you all an update. My husband just left for deployment the other day. On Monday I began working full time with my kids in daycare full time. Right now my kids and I are in the adjustment period. For them it is hard not only having daddy gone but now having mommy be working and them going to school. The past couple days have been rough but they are doing so well and I LOVE my job.

Today was a long day at work and just before I clocked out to go home I had a minute of memory less...I was thinking to myself how excited I was to go home and see my husband...until I remembered he's not here and won't be until next year. I almost lost it. I had to hold back the tears until I got to my car. It was awful. I thought I was okay. I thought I could be strong. It's little moments like what happened today that hurt and that just tear down my strong front. I just pray this time will fly by.

Expectations

2012-09-28T22:35:00.001-04:00

Men and woman have different expectations in life. Always have and always will. My husband and I are a prime example of this. We both had different wants, needs, and expectations of his last night in town. I pictured him getting me flowers and having candles illuminating the house. I pictured chocolates and wine and sweet nothings in each other's ears. I picture soft kissing and lots of cuddling. I pictured a night of romance and of holding each other so tight that it felt like if we let go the night would end.

His expectations? His needs? His wants? He wanted a motorcycle ride with his friend. He wanted beer and a fire in our backyard. He wanted a quite dinner with good friends.

I felt like I needed romance and intimate time with my husband to make up for all the time I won't get it. He felt like he needed to enjoy the things he won't get to enjoy the next several months. It's hard not to feel like those other things come before me but I'm trying to be understanding and let him spend his last night the way he wants to. I love him and I'm trying so hard to stay strong. To keep a smile on my face even when I feel like crying. To remind myself that this will only be temporary and that one day he will be back in my arms.

The Girl Who Cried Deployment

2012-09-07T15:04:00.001-04:00

I was starting to feel like the girl who cried deployment. Twice in the last two years my husband was told he was leaving only to find out he wasn't. Well I've waited a long time before posting this because I wanted to make sure it would actually happen. Of course things can always change with the military but as of right now my husband is leaving this month. Naturally, I can't give a date. I'm pretty nervous about it and am sort of in denial.
When I started this blog I started it to cope with my husband's first deployment. And now here we are getting ready for his second deployment. So put your seatbelts on because it's bound to be a bumpy ride..

Unshakeable Faith

2012-08-27T00:20:00.002-04:00

Not long after I wrote the last blog post The Calm Before the Storm I found out we had a tornado watch until 9am. It terrified me. I felt panicky. My chest felt tight. I had knots in my stomach. I couldn't sleep. Now it's almost 12:30am and I am exhausted but finally feeling more at ease. I was watching Aladdin on ABC family and when it ended Joel Osteen came on. He started talking about Unshakeable faith(and still is). God was and continues to speak straight to my heart. It's amazing.

WE are not in control. GOD has the final say. I cannot control the weather. I need to turn my mind off and turn it on to GOD! The bigger my God gets in my life the smaller my problems will get. It's time for me trust God. Trust that he will take care of us. I need to stop researching storms. Stop looking to much into it all and look more into my bible. More into God's words. More into praying and speaking to my heavenly Father. Because only HE can protect us.

The Calm Before the Storm

2012-08-26T22:30:00.002-04:00

Today the clouds moved quickly. We had a strong, cool breeze. The clouds were dark and different looking. As the day progressed the wind picked up. In 3 and a half years of living here we have witnessed one tropical storm...Tropical Storm Debby. And here were starting to experience our second one already. I am glad the storm has turned towards the west a little bit more but I am still scared. I am still worried. I have not let my guard down. I will not let my guard down. I have my emergency kit ready to go. I have amazing neighbors who have a generator for their fridge I can put my food in if needed. I have gas in my truck and clean clothes I could pack. But what I don't have....is my husband. He left yesterday to evacuate the planes from the base and will be gone until the storm subsides. The storm has even forced the RNC to cancel day 1 and day 2...which is actually good because riots have already started. All of the schools are cancelled tomorrow. Little Miss' therapy office is closed tomorrow.

I just want to feel safe. Safe from the storm. Safe from harm. Safe from worry. I really dread deployment more now than ever before.

Fears Vs. Dreams

2012-08-16T18:18:00.002-04:00

Fears.
-That my daughter will be ignored by the other kids her age in daycare because she can't talk like they can...just like she is on the playground.
-That princess will be nervous and anxious and afraid of the other kids at daycare.
-The teachers at daycare won't be sensitive to my precious girl's needs.

Dreams.
-That my baby girl will blossom and bloom while in daycare.
-The she will make friends.
-That she will feel loved even when she is at daycare.

Fears.
-That I will miss precious moments in my Little Man's life.
-That he will cry when I'm gone.

Dreams.
-That his teachers will love him like I do.
-That he will learn a lot.
-That he will love daycare and being around other toddlers.

Fears.
-That I am a bad mom for working almost full time(34 hours) and putting my kids in daycare almost full time.
-That I will regret the decision I have made.
-That I will cry every day I am away from the two Little people who have my heart.
-That my Little angels will cry every day I am away from them.
-That this will be two much change paired with not only daycare but with my husband deploying.

Dreams.
-That I will move up quickly and actually begin to make more money than I will be paying in daycare.
-That I will continue to love my job the way I do now.
-That my boss will continue to be understanding of situation and continue to be flexible with my schedule.

Music Friday

2012-08-10T22:37:00.000-04:00

Because it's friday and because I used to do this a lot on fridays...here is some music for your listening pleasure...

and in case you were wondering...yes I really do like very different genres of music. I have a wide variety of musical tastes:)

Tough

2012-08-10T22:07:00.002-04:00

I have been called tough, even strong. So many times people say these things of me and yes, I guess I am tough and strong...most of the time. But I'm also human being. I break down. I cry. Sometimes I feel like I can't prevail. Sometimes I just want to give up. But I push through. I push through the hard times. If I need to breathe, I breathe. If I need to cry, well, then I cry. But after that I suck it up and I move on pushing through.

Things don't always go as planned and life is never easy. Marriage is never easy. Being married to a man who goes halfway around the world for his job....is never ever easy.

It's in these moments when all you can do is look around. Pause. And remember the blessings you have around you because it seems these are the times when we forget about the good and get too caught up in the bad. Life is about living and learning. Life is about love.

Don't give up. Don't forget the wonderful things you have and the wonderful people who love you. Never be too afraid to ask for help. And most of all....never give up. Because you are always much stronger than you know. Sometimes it just takes a breakdown to gain more strength. A temporary moment of weakness to find the strength to pull through.

Tropical Storm Debby

2012-06-25T20:13:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure if I've ever formally announced where I live but given the nature of this post...it's kind of obvious. Well we are being effected by Tropical Storm Debby. Thankfully, we live somewhat inland so we don't even to deal with much flooding my our house but there have been many tornadoes popping up all around surrounding areas and the area by the Air Force Base is flooded. Many are without power(ours has blinked about 5 times today). It has been raining and storming for days with no end in sight. Today we were issued a Tropical Storm Warning and the Governor issued a State of Emergency. It's a little nerve wracking. I'm most worried about the power going out and about tornadoes...I've never been a big fan of storms so the fact that we've had a tornado watch for two days has me a bit nervous.

So say prayer for those directly on the coast and even for those of us a few miles inland.

Relaxation needed

2012-06-14T20:27:00.001-04:00

When I was a kid I was extremely unorganized. Rarely, could you see the floor in my room an my locker at school was much the same. I had a hard time focusing and it got even worse when things were a mess. It was like if my room/backpack/locker were a mess then my head was a mess as well. Senior year of high school I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. If not for the medication I was put on I would have never graduated. For once in my life I was able to focus.

I stopped taking my medication when I left college the winter of 2007. Recently, I attempted to get retested for ADHD in hopes to have medication again but due to a busy schedule have been able to make an appointment.

A couple months back my husband and I began seeing a highly recommended marriage counselor. She is amazing and has helped us immensely. Our relationship has never been better. But, in seeing her she has said I have some pretty severe anxiety as well as problems shutting my brain off. I guess I thought the way my brain is was pretty normal for a mom of two...

I explained to her how I am unable to nap even though I sleep very little at night(little man is still nursing every 2 hours). The reason for my lack of naps is my brain. It's like a computer that's left on all the time. I'm constantly thinking...so much so that even when my husband tries to be intimate with me I end up blurting out a stupid question right in the middle of kissing..like "hey honey did you take out the trash?"... Let's just say that doesn't exactly turn my husband on. According to our therapist that is pretty severe. She has recommended that I wear a rubber band on my wrist and everytime my brain is thinking too much to snap the rubber band. She also said how I need to nap because even she can see how sleep deprived I am. She said I need to buy a mask and ear plugs(ones that can still hear human voice so I'll hear my kids wake up from their naps).

She is pushing me to see the therapist the doctor recommended for my ADHD ASAP but with physical therapy for my back and marriage counseling I just can't fit it in. Not to mention my husband is now working a second job.

Life is crazy and apparently so am I:) I guess I'm okay with that.

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