He Will be Faithful to Complete it...

Singleness Saturday: Getting Hurt

2015-01-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

For anyone looking for a spouse, there is always a risk of rejection, pain, and hurt along the way.

This pain hasn't passed over me, and I have felt the pain of rejection and hurt a few times. While in graduate school, I was attending a university in Virginia and my friend was attended a university in Texas. We had met each other in undergrad and we shared a few classes and became good friends. During our four years in undergrad, we had grown to become better friends, and our last semester put us in situations were we were together most days.

After graduation, we still kept in touch, using Facebook and texting to stay connected. Several times, we video chatted for hours at a time. We talked about most things, communicating came easy and we enjoyed talking to each other. Through out the whole friendship, I always had it in the back of my mind that he would someone I could see myself marrying. But he never mentioned any intention to move beyond friendship. Even though we had never talked about dating each other, the amount of time that we did spend in communication starting getting very confusing to me.

Since we lived far away from each other, spending time in person was almost nonexistent. Coincidentally, we happen to be in the same place at the same time, so we planned to hang out. We ended up spending about ten hours together, and at the end of the day, I was even more confused.

I couldn't keep up with the friendship without knowing what he was thinking. So I asked him. I told him that the time we were spending together was leading me to think there was something else other than friendship going on, and I needed to know his intentions. From his perspective, our relationship was nothing more than friends.

It was so painful to hear those words, and my preexisting confusion only seemed to persist with this new knowledge. It left me with more questions than answers.

How can two people experience the same thing, and yet have two different understands of what was going on?

How could I have let myself feel like I was getting left in the dust when he told me that he had tried to muster up some romantic feelings for me, but couldn't quite get there?

How could I possess many of the qualities that he was looking for in a spouse (many of which were of the most importance) and yet he feel nothing?

That was two and half years ago, and it hurt to relive that conversation for a long time. It hurt to know that I wasn't picked. It hurt to know that he tried to have feelings for me, but couldn't. A couple months later, it hurt to see on Facebook that he had changed his relationship status. For a while it just hurt.

Slowly the hurt faded away. "Time heals all wounds".
During that "time" there were a few things that I did to help me through:

1. Seek God
Seeking God in the middle of pain and hurt can dramatically help your perspective and keep you from diving into destructive thoughts. There is a tendency to blame the other person for the failed relationship, but seeking God first helps put it all into perspective. God uses hurt to refine us, so I was able to step back and view all of this as a step in my sanctification process. Seeking God also helped me to not blame the guy for not being able to reciprocate my feelings. I was also very quick to judge him and tell myself that it was his fault for "leading me on", which was untrue. Seeking God helped me realize that I was reading too much into everything and was getting too emotionally involved.

2. Distanced myself from the guy
This situation was unique in that I was not forced to see him every day. If you are in school or work with someone you are trying to distance yourself from it is much harder.
I resisted the urge to text him, and to look obsessively at his Facebook. When he started dating his now wife, I had to "unfollow" him so that none of his updates came up in my newsfeed. Someone had suggested that to me, and I thought it was foolish and kind of immature, but it was one of the most practical and helpful things that I did.

3. Pray for him
I prayed for him to find someone that he would be more compatible with. It was only a few months later that he did find someone that he had a spark with and felt the same away about him. I prayed for his relationship and if it was to lead to marriage, then it would be a Christ honoring marriage.

4. Invite community in.
When I came home from seeing him in person, and I was trying to decide to ask him about his intentions, I asked two of my friends to help me process what I was thinking, they even helped me craft the best way to say what I wanted to say. One of those friends was a guy, it was helpful to have his perspective. It was even more helpful to have my male friend's perspective afterwards. He was able to speak truth into my life, reminding me that my identity is in Christ and not in a guy. Having guy friends and having guys speak truth into your life is a whole another post, but it was very helpful.

Getting hurt is never fun. Its never easy to deal with, but it is life refining. The Lord uses pain to help sanctify us.

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Meditation Monday: Praying for Your Church

2014-11-10T05:00:00.000-05:00

A very encouraging inspirational
quote about prayer

Prayer. Its an ancient practice that is meant to help us be in communion with our God. Being in church, it doesn't take long to realize that prayer doesn't come naturally to most people, and even its hard for people to even know how to begin. I have written a few posts on prayer (you can read them here and here ), but I struggle with consistency in my prayer life. Over the past few years, the Lord has taken me on a journey to broaden my prayer horizons. One of those areas that was broadened was my obedience to pray for the local church body. Here are a few things that I pray for my local church.

1. Church Leadership
This includes praying for the lead pastor, any associate pastors, elders, deacons, and ministry leaders in the church. I pray that the leadership of the church would seek God in their own lives before they try to lead the church and seek God in the direction to take the church. I also pray that there would be unity among the leaders of the church and that the Lord is clear about where the leaders should lead the church.

2. Strong Marriages and Strong Families
When families and marriages are strong, that can only be good for the church. I pray for men to be the leaders of their home, and I pray for women to be partners with their husbands in leading their children in knowledge of the Lord. A strong marriage is a great testimony to the Lord and brings glory to God through their faithfulness to each other, and their repentance/forgiveness when they sin against each other.

3. Singles
Many times, singles lead a very different lifestyle than a family, and it can bring a plethora of talents, gifts and spheres of influence to the church's fingertips.
I pray that singles find community within the church, and that they would seek discipleship and mentorship. I pray that the Lord grows singles in both maturity and numbers. I pray that singles pursue positions of leadership and seek to serve the local church in unique ways. I also pray that singles are strengthened through their obedience to sexual fidelity (faithfulness to God given sexual boundaries) and that they honor God with their minds and bodies.

4. Non-believers
In each church, there are always people that are part of the community of believers, but who aren't believers. I pray for their salvation, and that the Lord would bless their attendance and turn it into repentance and response to the gospel.

5. Finances
Lack of finances isn't something that is unexpected in the local body, but I pray for the leaders to be smart with the money, and they are being good stewards of what the Lord has provided to meet the needs of the church budget. I pray for the Lord to uniquely cover unexpected costs, and for more members to be loyal to tithing.

6. Cultural Diversity
There a famous quote from Martin Luther King JR, and he said that the most segregated hour of the week was Sunday at 11 a.m. This is mostly still true today, and I can see it in the last several churches I have been a part of. So, I pray for cultural diversity. I pray for cultural sensitivity and awareness. I pray that the Lord provides the people to make it cultural diverse. I don't pray for color-blindness, but cultural appreciation and celebration. I pray for grace, and I pray that we focus on Christ being the common ground, not our cultural preferences.

This is not an exhaustive list, but its a place to start.
Is there anything else you pray for your church? Leave a comment below :)

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. At the end of this post, there will be suggested posts, check them out. Also, you can use the right side of this blog to explore other topics as well. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today. If you are blessed by these posts, go ahead and leave a comment, I dare you :)

Singleness Saturday: Why Am I Still Single?

2014-10-18T11:07:00.000-04:00

Do you ever ponder this question? Does the way you answer this question leave you feeling empty? Does it create more questions than answers? Do you long for a better explanation and more comfort?

I can tell you, the reasons you are single are not because you have done something wrong, or because of the way you look, or because of you at all. Its all about God. The reasons that you are single all center around who God is and how He wants to display His glory among His people.

God's ultimate desire is to see all peoples come to know Him as Lord and Savior. Everything that He lets us experience is to draw us closer to Him.

Here are just a few encouraging reasons you might be single.

1. God is faithful and gracious.

"But you, O LORD, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15

"Because of the LORD's great love we are consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you with bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

When we as so unfaithful, God is faithful to His promises and to His people. Understanding that God is faithful to His Word, we can be certain that God is going to make complete what He started in each of us, whether or not that includes marriage. God's desire is to make His name known and to bring glory to Himself. Marriage (and singleness) is a gift of grace, meaning that those that are married are married because God allowed them to be, not because of their merit or qualifications, or that God was happier with them than He is with you. In God's unfailing love and faithfulness, God bestows grace upon grace, and its all for His glory and making His name famous.

2. God is sovereign.

"Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases." Psalm 115:3

"For I know that the LORD is great, and that our LORD is above all gods. Whatever the LORD pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps." Psalm 135:3

God's sovereign is defined as God has the absolute right to do with His creation as He desires. He takes pleasure in everything He does, since He desires to bring glory to Himself. Trusting in God's sovereignty is very comforting, since I know that He is at work to accomplishing the things in my life. Yes, there is human responsibility in all the decisions that I make, but God's sovereignty its always at work.

3. God desires to bless his people.

"But the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love." Psalm 147:11

"The LORD will again take delight in prospering you." Deuteronomy 30:9

God takes pleasure in blessing His people. He blesses His people to bring praise and glory to His name. Singleness can feel like a curse sometimes, but if you are single its because God wants to bless you through it, and in turn bring praise and glory to His name. God's blessings are not like a cosmic vending machine, so we don't always get the blessings that we want, since God sees our lives on a much larger scale than we ever could. But God chooses to bless His people so that we bring praise and glory to His name.

4. Singleness brings glory to God.

Church pastors talk a lot about how a Godly marriage displays God's glory and is a ministry among God's people. Very seldom to they then turn around and explain how singleness brings glory to God. Because of the lack of attention singleness is given by churches, those that are single are left feeling left out of being able to bring God glory through our singleness.

Through my walk with God, there are a few things that I have learned about what it means to bring glory to God through my singleness. It includes embarcing where the Lord has placed me, and being obedient to Him in this season. There are certain things that He asks of singles, being pure in both thought and action is one of them, and another is to be undivded in my service to Him. But both of these take their own forms in marriage.

At the end of the day, as I fall asleep, I must trust that God wants to see the best for me. Knowing that He is faithful, sovereign and desires to bless me, and that my life stage does bring glory to God, rest comes easier.

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Thursday Thought: Why I Don't Like Formulas...

2013-10-10T05:00:00.000-04:00

As a math major in college, I learned a lot about how formulas can model nature. And when it comes to modeling weather, plant growth, ocean currents, or the probability of certain events, I am fine with formulas. Formulas are created in such a way that they can take into account a certain number of variables and factors. So, even in the best models for weather, there are still an endless number of factors, so the formula can only be limited in its understanding of how weather works. But when it comes to trying to model God, formulas are impossible.

If weather has an endless number of factors to do considered, then consider the Holy Spirit. How many more factors need to be considered when God is involved? One of the largest reasons I have strong feelings towards people who try to make the Christian life until a list of formulas is that most of these "formulas" actually can't take into consideration the input of God. You see it all over the blogosphere (the next few examples are just simply titles I have made up on the spot... I am not actually specifically talking about certain posts on other blogs, just the type of post in general)... "5 steps to a better relationship with God", "10 ways to receive blessings from God", "8 essential steps to a better prayer life", etc. And in the world of single bloggers, "Five Steps to the Biblical dating/courting relationship". While these posts have merit to them, they offer encouragement and a call to action on the part of the reader, the scary thing about them is they set all the responsibility on us as people, and leaves little room for God to move.

In the human aspect, these formulas limit our liberty that we have in Christ. The very nature of our relationship with the Lord is that His Love breaks the bonds that we have to the Law and to sin. These formulas and steps just leads to a new law. This very process tells us that if we put in the work that we are told to, then we will get out of the process that we want. This makes our relationship with God much like losing weight. If we consume a certain number of calories (sermons, community, fellowship, etc.) and then we exercise (the spiritual disciplines) on a regular basis, then we will get the results that we want (i.e. the blessing that we are seeking from God). Don't misunderstand me, we will be blessed by those things, and we will grow in our relationship with God, but if we are using them in a way to try to get what we want from God, then our prospective of who God really is, is flawed.

This type of writing leaves much to be desired, since the Lord is not bound to those formulas. Just because someone writes it as a list of "to-do's" doesn't mean that Lord sit there a reads that post, and says to Himself, "OH, is that how I am supposed to be working among my people?". These lists and formulas to a better "whatever" leads to putting God in a box. It leads the people of God to want God to work like a formula, and do things that are expected. It can also cause us to view God as a dispenser of blessings and gifts, if we can carry out a certain number of steps, or a works based relationship with God. Yes, a relationship with God takes work, but the ultimate goal of working at our relationship with God is NOT to get what WE desire, but to be in communion with God. We work at our relationship with God not to try to receive His blessings (if this is your goal, then you will be disappointed), but to just be in relationship with the Lord.

I don't want my God to do the expected. I want my God to work in the exact opposite, the unexpected. I want Him to work in mysterious, glorious, and out of the box ways. I want Him to defy nature and formulas.

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Singleness Saturday: Praying Through the Tears

2013-02-02T23:00:00.004-05:00

I *think* that I am not alone in this, and that everyone has that "thing". That one thing that they have been praying for years and they watch as other people receive the blessing that they themselves have been praying for. Its the thing that usually brings you to tears when you pray.
It might be getting into the college or university of your choice, the perfect job, a wonderful spouse, a long awaited child, a working car, a place to live, or a comfortable savings account.

It comes to no surprise to my regular readers that being single is that "thing" in my life. Its an area of my life that teaches me repeatedly about my need for dependency on God like nothing else in this season of life. It drives me to prayer, and it usually leaves me crying out to God. Marriage can easily become an idol in my life, and I frequently have to prostrate myself before the Throne to give it all up. The Lord is truly using this time of singleness as a time to bring me closer to Him. In the midst of thinking that I am completely alone, I remember that we have a savior that can sympathize with us. He prayed to the point he started to sweat blood! That is some intense praying. While I have some prayer sessions that have more tears than words, I have never prayed hard enough to draw blood.

Another point of encouragement is that I don't always understand what He is doing, but I do know who He is. He is faithful to complete what He has started.

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."- Philippians 1:6

This might not include marriage in my life, but I know that whatever He has planned is going to bring Him glory. When I keep this in perspective, I can pray through the tears, still asking Him to bring marriage, and also relying on Him is stage of life. Whatever comes my way, He will be there asking me to rely on Him, and guiding me through.

Whatever your "thing" is, whatever brings you to tears and makes it hard for you to pray, please remember that the Lord is doing something with the pain, with the heartache, with the struggle. He is growing you, stretching you, teaching you in grace.

I am certain that I never did grow in grace one-half so much anywhere as I have upon the bed of pain. ~ Charles Spurgeon

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

How Married Women Can Help Their Single Sisters

2013-01-07T05:00:00.000-05:00

You might recognize it if you are a long time reader, this was a guest post on Her Noble Character a while ago, but the blog has since been removed, so I am reposting it here. :)

I sometimes think that I don't anything in common with married woman. Somehow in my mind, the wedding ceremony changes someone, and makes them into someone that I can't relate to. They are now a married woman, and there is no way that she can understand what I am going through in my extended period of singleness.

Sometimes our relationship status can get in the way of us realizing that we need each other. We can see this in our churches were there are separate classes for married couples and single people, or when the Women's ministry events focus on how to be a better wife and mother, us single girls have a hard time sitting through them while we take haphazard notes for an uncertain future, while we watch the rest of the women furiously taking notes of things that they can use now. For the single girl, we might have all the friends in the world, and be able to do what we want when we want, but we can still be desperately lonely. Married girls can have the best husband and children in the world, but also still feel lonely. So we can feel the same emotions, but we can have a hard time understanding the why?

I want to encourage you, my married sisters, that you can help me, and I can help you.

Pray for us. This is a duh!, but it needs to be said anyway. Pray specifically for us now, and not that the Lord will bring us a man soon. While we would like the prayers of our married friends to be how the Lord brings us a man, we are most likely praying for our husbands, and we forget to pray for our now. Covering us in prayer is the BEST thing for us.
Hang out with us. I once was talking with a married friend who has moved away (with her husband, of course) to attend seminary. She told me that she was feeling incredibly lonely on campus because most of the women in her classes were single. It was like a wall between her and her classmates. She was introduced to some of them as, "the married one". Very infrequently did any one ask her to hang out. What a tragedy! We can learn from each other, and we can give each other mutual encouragement and accountability in our walks with the LORD. So, hang out with us :)
Show us what it looks like to use your home as a ministry. This includes inviting us over to your (chaotic) household. Trust me, we won't even notice all the kid toys! Its so important to us to see how you use your home as a ministry. Not for just the future, but to for the present. I think one the things that single women neglect is to use our homes as a ministry, assuming that this can only be done by married stay-at-home women.
Remember what it was like to be single. Was your time of singleness a struggle and a constant state of suffering? Did you experience contentment? Tell us about it. Tell us your story so that we might learn from your experiences. We might be reluctant to listen to you at first, but eventually we will see how you CAN relate to us.
Choose your words carefully. The words of a married friend can sometimes mean much more than you are aware. This is because as a married woman, you have walked through things in your journey that I can't even begin to imagine. While the Lord can mature different people in different ways, your life experience gives you a unique perspective, different than mine. So, your words mean the world, and they can encourage us, or dishearten us. Here are some examples of words that can damage us (some of these seem encouraging, but in context they can actually be rather hurtful) (And I am sure that there are plenty of things that can be discouraging to married women without even knowing it, and please let me know what those are so I can avoid them):

Just don't think about marriage, and it will happen.
Of course you are going to get married, you are so beautiful.
Because you desire to be married, then the Lord must have it for you in the future.
The Lord must be working on you and fixing you up before you get married.
What about becoming a missionary?
Maybe you aren't trying hard enough.
You are still so young.
Maybe if you lost some weight.
What about (insert name here)? He's a nice guy.
Maybe you're called to singleness.

Encourage us to seek the Lord, serve Him, and life undivided. You don't have as much freedom in this area that we do. So, encourage us in these areas, to serve Him is ways that married people can't. Encourage us to use this time of singleness to be solely devoted to the Lord. If we come to you asking for advice, encourage us to follow after the Lord, and not after dreams that might not come true.
Let us babysit. I LOVE children. I WANT children of my own someday, but since I am not married, I will just have to "parent" my friends' children while I wait. :) Don't ask us every Friday night, but help us be the nurturing creatures that we are by babysitting your kids.
Allow us to serve you. This might include things like allowing us to take you out for lunch, or coming over and helping you with your household cleaning. Also, consider serving us in a similar way.

I hope that you found this helpful and encouraging in how to relate with your single sisters better. Anything else that you can think of?

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Why I am Thankful to be Single: Part 2

2012-12-09T10:34:00.001-05:00

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj7
mdqdGRa1qgeswwo1_400.jpg

Almost exactly a year ago, I sat down to my computer extremely distraught about my current marital status. It was right after New Years, where I had spent the evening with many happy couples celebrating either their first New Years as a married, engaged, or dating couple. Yes, there were a few single people, but I still felt incredibly lonely as I watched the couples be able to kiss someone for New Years, while I just sucked down some more Sparkling Cider. Only minutes after Midnight, I felt the surge to burst into tears, so I quickly excused myself and ran to my car. Another year of praying, fasting, waiting, and wondering had past without even the slightest change to my marital status. Well, after allowing myself to crawl desperately into the hole of self pity, I decided that the only way to get out was to try to at least come up with even ONE thing I was thankful for about being single. I came up with FOUR (read those here), but even the four were a struggle. After another year of no prospects, I am attempting to add more reasons to the list. :)

5. I can focus on saving money, time and resources. During my time being single, then I can work on staying out of debt, and I can practice being smart about my money, time and resources. If I were to get married, these skills would be beneficial to practice now, rather than later.

6. As I am experiencing my first year as a teacher, I could never imagine being even in a relationship with someone. I am so stressed, so busy, and so overwhelmed that to add a serious relationship to it would probably break me. I would have to either neglect my job or neglect my husband. So, as I am getting into a groove in my career, I am thankful that I to be single while I am figuring all this stuff out.

7. The longer that I remain single, the more my faith is stretched, and the more the Lord teaches me on trusting Him to provide not only for my present, but also for my future. This time of singleness is a reminder to everyone the all sustaining power of the Lord to provide and take care of his children.

8. While our culture says that I am wasting time not being the pursuer and dating around, and that I am not "putting myself out there" enough, I believe in the sovereignty of God. If it was in the Lord's will for me to be married today, then I would be. This perspective has helped me realize that I am not missing out on anything that the Lord hasn't planned for me, yet. There is no wasted time when the Lord is sovereign. If marriage is in my future, then its going to come when the Lord plans and I am not wasting my time by waiting patiently for who the Lord has planned for me.

This year has been another year of prayer, fasting and waiting to see what the Lord is going to do, another year to grow in thankfulness to be single. My desire for marriage has only increased over the last year, so I have to continually remind myself that the Lord is desiring something different for me in this season of singleness. As I continue to see more and more of my friends get married and "settle down", going to bridal showers, bachelorette parties, or weddings don't get an easier, but I do hold on to the Christ is all I need. And the Lord is allowing me to be a testimony to the watching world on how awesome God is at providing for His children!

Christians always seem to be in a time of waiting, waiting on a spouse, children, retirement, promotion, etc. These times of waiting are preparing us as we wait for Christ to return for us. This is the ultimate eternal event that we are waiting for. Take the time to reflect on the eternal nature of our waiting for Christ's return and how anything else that we are waiting for on earth pales in comparison to Christ's return for His bride.

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Meditation Monday: Desiring Christ Above All Else

2012-09-24T05:00:00.000-04:00

Life has a way of distracting us from God. School, friends, family, laundry, career, getting the apartment clean, Facebook. You name it, and it easily distracts me. I moved in the middle of August, and started my teaching job two days later. A month later, and I am still living among boxes.

In the midst of all this newness, I have lost sight of why God has placed me here. I'm not here to just live, but live in such a way that my life points others to Christ. Christ is the end all; He is the answer to every question about this world; He is the comforter. I have lost sight of this.

Despite all the newness, and losing sight of my purpose, my heart has been stirring. Stirring because it knew it was missing something. I decided to suppress that stirring, choosing to focus on getting settled, setting up house, setting up my classroom and learning my new surroundings. All of these are important things to do when you move, but when the Lord is stirring your heart, you should stop and listen.

I was wrong. I was wanted people and things more than I wanted Christ. I am searching for a new church, so I have been attending a new church each Sunday for the last five Sundays. In those last five Sundays, each sermon I have heard have all had the central message of desiring Christ above all else. And it took five Sundays for me to finally realize that I have been suppressing the desire for Christ in my life. I am so thankful that He didn't give up on me after one Sunday.

In Christ, I have life, I have joy, I have all I need, I have pleasure, I have delight, I have love, I have security... (this list is endless)

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Singleness Saturday: Why Is God Withholding from Me?

2012-08-25T05:00:00.000-04:00

One of the things that I struggle with having a blog that primarily concentrates with how to be a christian single woman, is that there aren't a how lot of us out there. And I guess that's O.K., since the majority of christian women are married. But as I try to "meet" the other Christian bloggers out there, I end up reading a lot of posts about recipes, home-cleaning schedules, living frugally with 10 children, how to be a better wife, mother, and lover. Routinely, I will see posts announcing new engagements, marriages, or pregnancies. I don't even know these people in real life, but I get jealous! After the jealously subsides, usually I am left asking God a multitude of questions. Included are:

When will my turn come?
Is there something about me that is preventing marriage from happening?
How do I balance a desire for marriage with the need to be content in my current life?
Is God still good, even though my desires have not been met?
Will I get a turn?

Recently, I have been mediating on the Psalms, and I came across a familiar verse, but the Lord allowed me to see it with new eyes. Doing a quick commentary search on the verse, the Lord has revealed to me a little more about Himself.

For the Lord is my sun and my shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. ~Psalm 84:11

Psalm 84:11 lets us in on a HUGE theological truth. Not only does the LORD provide provision, protection, and blessings, but also does not withhold anything that is good from His people. This is not just for what we might receive in future blessings, but all that we are receiving today. Today, I am single; today the LORD believes that its a good thing for me to remain single. Today, I must choose to see my singleness like the LORD sees it, as a blessing.

This verse has become particularly encouraging to me in the last few weeks. I have let my desire for a relationship/marriage cloud my view of God. Crying out to God I would tell Him that I felt like He was depriving me of something the He calls great. Many prayers were accompanied with tears.
I don't understand why I am chosen by God to remain single, and I am uncertain about what the LORD is doing during my singleness. But here is what I do know:

He has shown me favor by providing me with a job.
He has provided me with a great, safe place to live.
He has been my shield with some challenging situations that have taught me a lot about myself.
He has provided great Godly counsel that has been speaking truth constantly into my life.
He has called me to the High Calling of living for Him without a marriage partner, at least for today.
He is in no way depriving me of anything that I might need so that I might complete the work He has for me to do today.
He is sovereign over my life, and is guiding my path towards His intended purposes.

Who am I to think I know better than God? Take heart dear friends, He knows. He cares. He provides. He does not withhold.

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

I have linked up with:

Mediation Monday: Praying For Your Future

2012-07-30T11:17:00.002-04:00

Praying for the future... how do you do it? How do I pray for my future husband or children, if I am not guaranteed to get married or have children? Am I praying in vain? What if I am praying for something that the Lord is going to chose to say no to?

These questions, and more parade around in my head, while I try to figure out if praying specifically for my future husband and children is worth the possible emotions and possibly setting myself up for emotional failure when my time of singleness continues.

Well, if you are in Christ, none of your prayers are in vain! And praying for your future is not an unworthy pursuit. Prayer is such a mysterious and wonderful way to communicate with God. It is ultimatly our lifeline to God.

Reasons to pray for your future:

1. Prayer refocuses my mind on God.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Prayer requires an acknowledgement of dependency on God. Without God, our prayers would be in vain. Praying reminds me that I'm not the one in control. Praying for a husband highlights the fact that marriage is a gift from God, and I have no impact on my relationship status. Praying for marriage also keeps in focus that the decision to marry is a heavy decision, and shouldn't be taken lightly.

2. Prayer keeps hope alive.

"Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Prayer brings life to an otherwise dying dream. I don't want to sound like a Debbie Downer, but when I look with my fleshly eyes, and I understand the "odds" of finding a great (not just good), Christian man, that's on mission for the Lord, and someone who also is interested in me, the "odds" of this happening is very small. So, I know that something like that can only happen because God has ordained it. When I pray about my future husband, I pray that the LORD orchestrates our story so that anyone that hears it can only be amazed at God, and not us.

3. Prayer is mysterious.

"'I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it, and it will be yours.'" Mark 11:23-24

Its a great mystery and sacred privileged to pray. Its our way of communicating with God, its gives us direct access to our great God. Jesus here is telling us of the great power of prayer. Prayer works! and we can ask for powerful things. I want to be clear though, God is not a spiritual vending machine, God still knows what is best, and we might always be asking for the right things, so there might be times where the LORD says, "no." Here the command is to pray with confidence that the LORD will answer, and provide us with what is best for us.

4. Prayer is an act of obedience.

"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving." Colossians 4:2

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Through out the Bible, we are commanded to pray. It not only is a spiritual discipline, but its an act of obedience to God. I am not perfect at praying, but knowing its required to be obedient to the Lord, gives me even more reason to pray. If you are looking for some encouragement on prayer, I have written several posts about prayer here.

5. The Lord hears.

"I love the LORD, because he has heard my voice and pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live." Psalm 116:1-2

There is encouragement throughout the Scriptures that tells us that the Lord hears our prayers. He is inclined to listen to His children. He has promised to answer. I take great comfort in knowing that the LORD knows what is best for me, and that He hears my prayers. When I pray specifically for a husband, I know that the LORD knows my desires, but also knows what He wants for me, and I am going to have to be obedient in prayer, and also trusting that He will reveal it in His timing.

If you are married and you are reading this, please share it with your single friends! But also this post can be also be encouraging to many more circumstances than just singleness. Please be encouraged friends!

What are so other encouraging verses on prayer?

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Meditation Monday: Taking Your Spiritual Growth Seriously

2012-07-02T08:00:00.000-04:00

I spent this past Sunday afternoon after church listening to a few podcasts. I love podcasts, and I am so thankful that I live in a technological age where great speakers are available to us for free. You can potentially have an old style revival service in our own home each day if we wanted to. I wrote a while ago about how I use podcasts in my quiet times.

One of the ones that I listened to was an old sermon from the Village Church in Dallas, Texas. It was entitled The Path: Sanctification in Marriage and it was from October 2009. You might be wondering why I listened to a sermon on marriage. Well, I did that for a few reasons. One was that it was the next sermon in a series. And the second is because I desire marriage, so I want to learn as much as I can about marriage, so that I don't enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations, and so that I can start to cultivate myself into a more godly woman, ready for marriage if the Lord sees fit for me to be married.

Well, Matt Chandler was talking about 1 Peter 3, which is a heavily debated passage about marriage in Christian circles. I won't talk about that here today, but I do want to pass along some of the wisdom Matt shared with his congregation. He specifically addressed single women for a few minutes, where he gave us three things to consider when it comes to our relationship with God and with men. The one I want to share with you today was to take our own sanctification and spiritual development VERY seriously. I am guilty at times of thinking that one of the benefits of marriage (at least one that follows God's design for marriage) is that someone else is concerned about my spiritual growth, and that my husband will be responsible to spiritually take care of me (found in both Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3). This is not inherently wrong to believe this, but I then take the responsibility off of me during my time of singleness, saying that its O.K. if I don't grow as much during my single years, because my husband will be responsible to catch me up. OH MY, how wrong is that! How spiritually immature am I to have even thought this! I am ashamed to admit that I have thought this before. This is exactly what Matt Chandler was preaching against. He instructed us single ladies to take our spiritual development extremely seriously!

What exactly is spiritual growth? (I got this information from here)
Spiritual growth is outlined in 2 Peter 1:3-8:

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge,and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

There are things that we can do in increase our spiritual maturity that are outlined in this passage:
1. Increase in your knowledge and understand of God's Word. (vs. 3)
2. Decrease the incidence of sin in your life (vs. 4)
3. Increase the practice of Christ-likeness in your life (vs. 5-7)
4. Increase your faith and trust in Him (vs. 8)

How do we take our spiritual development seriously?
First, we must understand that true spiritual maturity can't happen unless there are a few things present in our lives: Jesus as our Savior, and the Holy Spirit residing in us. We can not grow in spiritual maturity unless we have these two things.

Second, we must understand that ultimately the Holy Spirit is the cultivator of spiritual growth. Its by God's grace that we can grow spiritually. We can water our souls with as much bible reading, prayer, worship, community, etc., but its by God's grace that all of that allows us to grow.
If we understand these two things, than we can start to take our spiritual growth seriously. As single ladies, leading busy lives, we have to take time, not just on Sundays to expand our knowledge of Him, to repent and remove sin from our lives, to practice Christ-likeness to our co-workers, our families, and our friends, and to increase our faith and trust in God. This includes reading our Bibles, praying by ourselves and with friends, worshiping Him in song, journaling, and conversations, and serving others.

Ladies, take your growth as a Christian seriously, if you need to, start out small, and work at it. It will take daily practice, and we will fail, but remember its by the grace of God we were saved, and its by the grace of God that we grow. Take comfort dear sisters that your future is secure.

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

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Singleness Saturday: Our Eyes Fixed Upon Jesus

2012-06-23T08:00:00.000-04:00

This Saturday, I have another guest contributing to the Singleness Saturdays. I am really excited about what this post has to offer both single and married women. Thanks so much Jessalyn for your words. Please check out Jess's blog, at Desiring Virtue. Please check out the rest of the Singleness Saturday Series HERE.

As I have thought and thought about the things I would like to share with you, my dear sisters in Christ, to encourage you in your life as single ladies, one particular thing continued to press upon my heart.

It wasn’t the future hope you have of being married one day. It is true, most of you will enjoy the blessings of marriage and even children in the future...

It wasn’t the importance of you developing the characteristics of a Proverb’s 31 woman, so that you will be ready for a life of matrimony...

It wasn’t even a plea for you to be content with what the Lord is currently withholding from you, something that his good providence deems necessary...

No. It was something much more rudimentary, something that doesn’t only apply to you as single ladies, but to every woman who has ever lived--in every circumstance of life.

My encouragement, my hope for each of you would be the same as it is for myself (a married woman with two children); it is the desire for each of us to live a life with our eyes fixed upon the Kingdom of our God.

A Rapture That Eclipses Every Other Longing

Those of us who have been purchased out of this world through the precious blood of Christ live in a different reality than those who are still in darkness. We are sojourners and exiles in this land, walking steadily toward an eternity of sinless-worshipful-ecstasy. The things of this world that seem so important, that our bodies and hearts long for so ardently--even the most wonderful of desires--are base and pithy when compared to the incomparable riches of complete freedom from sin and living in the physical presence of our Savior.

Perhaps one of my all time favorite passages of Scripture comes from Reveleation 21. Consider that the path we are walking, passes into such wonder as this dear sisters:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. (Revelation 21:1-7 ESV)

All that we need, all that we could ever desire will come to fruition when sin is no more and man is completely made right with God in the New Heavens and the New Earth. Marriage is a wonderful blessing that God gives to some as they sojourn through this life, but it is only a whisper of the blessings we are to inherit upon death and our physical resurrection.

Sisters, we all face various temptations to focus on this present life, but if there is one thing the faithful saints of the past have understood, it is that this momentary life is quick and fleeting. What seems like ages of singleness, will soon pass away to an eternity of complete unity with Christ, who’s love far exceeds any man’s. Fixing our eyes on Christ and his coming Kingdom allows us to put life in perspective, no matter what temptations we face.

A Rapture that Gives Every Life Purpose

Do you struggle with feeling as though you are in a state of waiting? As though your life is on hold because you haven’t found that perfect man to continue life with? Let me encourage you to reconsider what the purpose of your life is. Is the goal of life to find a husband? To have children? To raise godly offspring for the glory of God? To be sure, these are wonderful things, but they are ultimately not our supreme purpose as redeemed women.

We have been chosen out of this world to live for the glory of God and to reconcile the rest of the world to him. As those who know his love, who have experienced his saving grace, we are called to be ambassadors to a lost and needy world. Our joy and hope in the thought of a blissful eternity should lead us to passionately sacrifice our own lives for those who have no such hope and are destined to an eternity of punishment. There are those who do not yet believe and desperately need you to share the good news of Christ with them--this is your purpose. This is why Christ has not instantly raptured you from this world, but allows you to sojourn here proclaiming his goodness to the nations.

What he has done for you and your future hope must lead to an awareness of your ultimate mission:

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. (1 Peter 2:9-12 ESV)

Your daily life and my daily life may practically look very different. While I am here in my home teaching my children and changing diapers, you may be at school or volunteering in a ministry of the church. Our mission, however, is exactly the same: to live distinctly Christian lives proclaiming the good news of the Gospel to all those around us. This is why Paul (in his letter to the Corinthians) encourages both single and married people to view their circumstances as blessings. You may not feel blessed as single ladies who desire to have the gift of matrimony, but you are. You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession. You were given new life so that you may proclaim how wonderful our God is. You have the privilege of calling those in darkness out into light! These are gifts that will matter for eternity, this is the purpose of every redeemed life.

Your life is not on hold, on the contrary, it has purpose and needs to be lived out right at this very moment for millions are perishing! We must each use our time, gifts, and callings (whether we are single, married, or parents) to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

As a single lady you have a unique opportunity to serve our God and the community around you. Don’t waist it! Remember that your very purpose in life is to live as Christ’s ambassador and you can do that right now in ways that a married woman cannot. It is because of this reality that it is all the more important you don’t squander your time focusing on unfulfilled desires. There is specific work that he is calling you to, good works that he has laid out before you, walk in them.

I want to thank Jess for her great words of encouragement. This is so pratical and applicable to both single and married people. Reading her post while it was in my inbox, I cried like a little girl, because I realized that I hadn't been living like Jesus was my ALL. I have been feeling like my life was in Limbo, when in fact, He is asking me to serve Him with the undivided time He has provided to me. Please dear sisters, remember, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."- Hebrews 12:2

Jessalyn is the author and editor of Desiring Virtue, a Christ-centered, doctrinally rich resource for Christian women who desire to bring honor to the Lord through their homemaking. Her greatest desire is to encourage your soul to trust in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ not only for salvation, but for the strength to daily live a Christ-exalting life. She is the wife of a loving, God-fearing man and the mother of two precious little boys.

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Singleness Saturday: A Single Regret: Part II

2012-06-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

Welcome back to the second part of this post. I want to thank Brenda for guest posting and giving us some wise words. If you didn't read the first part of this post, please check that out before reading this part. I hope you are encouraged by Brenda's words. Thanks!
This post is part of a great series called Singleness Saturdays, where you can view the rest of the posts that are part of this series.

Growing

We are always a work in progress. That does not change when we get married. But a season of singleness gives us the unprecedented opportunity to become the women that God truly wants us to be by establishing a lifestyle of abandonment to Him. This is the time to truly reflect and learn as much about yourself as it relates to God's vision of you as possible. How did God create you? What are your strengths, gifts, and weaknesses? How does He was you to serve Him in your life? Now is the time to ask these questions and work to find the answers.

Ways You Can Pursue Growth:

establish and maintain a disciplined time in prayer and Bible study each day
make a prayer schedule to prayer for other people in your life
pray for your future husband and marriage
get a mentor
get counseling to deal with past hurts
take continuing education classes at local colleges in subjects that you are interested in (I took decorating.)
take Bible doctrine classes
be involved in your local church
make short-term and long-term goals with the help of the Holy Spirit and pray over them
learn about homemaking now (especially if you hope to primarily be a full-time homemaker one day)

Giving:

Every year that passed when I was single I felt myself becoming more and more self-consumed and selfish. I also felt myself becoming more discontent, angry, and resentful. It concerned me so much that I wondered if I could even be a good wife and mother because I was so self-focused. Only recently has God revealed to me (or maybe only recently have I accepted) a principle that is true for all of us regardless of our season of life - the more I focus on others, the more peaceful and content I am. This principle is the cure for all discontentment in your single life. Giving, along with serving, is a primary way to focus on others. And I will say that you have never felt raw giving until you have been married. Marriage requires constant giving . . . and giving . . . and giving. So now is the time to start practicing!

Ways You Can Give:

tithe monthly (Yes, just decide on a percent and do it! Of course the Bible commands 10%, but I believe something is better than nothing. Pray about this diligently. You can do it, even on one income.)
live a simple, uncluttered lifestyle (give away the things you do not use or want anymore.)
sponsor a child through Compassion
give away your knowledge (mentor or teach someone else a skill that you have)
invest in the lives of others fully (become focused on the needs around you, give your ears to listen to others)
send cards or emails monthly to friends and relatives to encourage them
make and give baked goods or homemade gifts to those around you
sponsor a child at Christmas or during Back-to-School to provide for their needs
give your home by hosting movie nights, girl's nights, or invite a married couple or friend over for dinner (married people love to get away and not have to cook for a few hours!)

In what other ways can you live without regret in your single years?

Brenda is a southern woman who grew up knowing all the ways to live a proper life. After years of living a life of unwelcomed singleness, she realized that life gives us more improper moments than not. Now she writes about singleness, marriage, and motherhood and seeking peace in a life surrendered to Jesus despite all of its improperness. You may follow her on her blog, Triple Braided, and on Facebook and Twitter.

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Comparison is the Theft of Your Joy

2012-06-12T07:00:00.000-04:00

Today I am sharing with the Triple Braided Community about the dangers of comparison. Here is the first part of the post, and please click the link below to go and read the rest of the it.

It’s only natural to compare ourselves to others. But just because it’s natural doesn’t make it healthy or holy. Why? Because it’s the easiest way to reach discontentment. It steals our joy. It makes us jealous. It robs us of appreciating the story God is writing in our lives. It discourages us from loving and serving others because we feel the need to be pitied.

In my own story, there are two things that I compare to other’s stories: my singleness and my journey through Thyroid Cancer....
Please click over to Triple Braided to see the rest of this post!

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Singleness Saturday: A Single Regret: Part I

2012-06-09T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, as part of the Singleness Saturday Series, we have a second guest post. This is from Brenda, who writes at Triple Braided (link below). I first found her blog during a 30 day Peace Filled Singleness series she was writing, and I was hooked. She wrote so much about not "wasting" time while your single, and live your life now. So, here is her post just simply about that. This a two part series because she had some much else to say! So, join us next week too!

Source

I really hate the word "regret". It is like blowing out the candles on your birthday cake and wishing for something to change ten years ago. Regret is a bunch of wasteful wishes.

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead" (Philippians 3:13)

Regrets that fuse a hopeful wish for the future, however, make some of those seemingly wasteful wishes possible in a different sort of way. There is the opportunity to watch another life become more fulfilled and what God created it to be through sharing what could have been in your own life. Regrets can be somewhat of a fast forward warning of what might will be.

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." (2 Corinthians 7:10)

That is my hope today: to share with you a Godly sorrow that I have from my life as a single woman with the hope that it will inspire you to a place where you can be all that God wants you to be during this season of singleness, and so that my experiences will be left without regret because they were used to glorify Him.

Serve, Grow, and Give.

If I had a time machine that would allow me to go back to relive some of my days in my past, I would be more intentional about serving, growing, and giving using my precious gift of time. I know that as a single woman "thinking of your time as a gift" is quite cliché. I know it annoys you, and you get tired of hearing the same mantra over and over again. But when time becomes in short demand and you are joined with another person who consumes not only your time but also your thoughts and dreams and desires, you daydream about those days when time seemed to be endless.

Serving

This past November I had the opportunity to take my first mission trip to Burkina Faso, West Africa. It is interesting how God led me there after I literally prayed as a teenager and asked Him to not send me to Africa - ever. As expected the trip was life-changing. It is now one of two subjects that I cannot talk about without welling up with tears. God rocked my sweet, American world in a big way. And yet, I'm still so far from fulling understanding or even accepting all that He really wanted me to see. I want to go back to Africa. But it's not easy to hop on a plane every year and be a missionary for ten days. I leave behind a lot - a home and a husband to take care of - and now there's our baby that is due in October. It will be several more years before I ever see Africa again. I can't help but remember those more than ten years I spent without any other people as my responsibility. How many times could I have gone to Africa then? Or some other place? Even a place not so far? I don't know why I didn't serve on the mission field during those years. And I don't really think it's worth my time to figure it out. However, if I had known then what I know now, I would have used those unstructured years to do just that.

Ways You Can Serve:

short-term mission trips
domestic mission trips
women's shelters
crisis pregnancy centers
church children's or youth ministries
mentoring younger girls
babysitting for free
helping a mom at home
running errands for a busy mom or an elderly person
reading or tutoring in local schools

In what other ways have your served the Lord in your single years?

Please come back next week for when we talk about ways to grow and ways to give. Also, please comment on this post on ways you have served the Lord during your single years.

Brenda is a southern woman who grew up knowing all the ways to live a proper life. After years of living a life of unwelcomed singleness, she realized that life gives us more improper moments than not. Now she writes about singleness, marriage, and motherhood and seeking peace in a life surrendered to Jesus despite all of its improperness. You may follow her on her blog, Triple Braided, and on Facebook and Twitter.

My Comments: Thanks so much Brenda for encouraging us to serve during this time in our lives. One of my goals during my single years is to never look back and regret "wasting" time while waiting for a husband. Thanks so much for giving us many ideas about how to serve. And I am excited about next week!

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Singleness Saturday: When Marriage Becomes an Idol

2012-06-02T08:00:00.000-04:00

I want to welcome you to the first guest post in the Singlness Saturday series. Our first post is from Kristen. She is another blogger, and you can see where she writes at the bottom of this post. Please read through this great encouraging post, and then read my comments at the end! Have a great Saturday!

Marriage is wonderful. Like most girls growing up, I dreamed about love and living happily ever after. Now that I am married, I often look back to my single years and, while I rejoice in the faithfulness of the Lord and the beauty of a pure past, I can see several pitfalls I wish I would have avoided. I pray you can benefit and learn from my season of singleness.

Desiring marriage is not a bad thing. It isn’t silly or selfish. In fact, if you yearn for marriage, the Lord has no doubt given you that desire as a part of His amazing plan! But I have learned that there’s a fine line between longing for marriage and making it an idol.

There were far too many nights in my single years when my prayers were more about asking God to speed up the time than it was seeking His perfect will for my singleness. Yes, I wanted to be content and satisfied in the place God had put me but, to be honest, deep down there were more than a handful of days when I struggled with discontentment.

1 Corinthians 10:14 says, "Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry." When we think of an idol, we tend to think of golden calves and bowing down to statues. But an idol is anything that we put before God, anything we want with ALL of our heart, anything we can't stop thinking of, and anything that we give all our love and time to.

There was one time when a suave fellow I had met came knocking on my heart’s door. I remember thinking, “Well, finally! Here he is. Thank you, Lord.” Instead of falling to my knees and praying for clear eyes and sound judgment, and waiting for the Lord to lead me, I ran ahead of Him and did my own thing. As a result, I wasted sweet words, tummy butterflies, and precious time that should have been spent in growing closer to my Heavenly Prince. I had allowed my desire to be in a relationship to take up residence on the throne of my heart. I had allowed my wants to rob me of intimate one-on-one moments with Jesus. Instead, I had to learn the hard way; the painful way. And it wasn’t long before I came running back to the Lord, realizing that fulfillment can never be found in a relationship. I had unknowingly made marriage an idol. I wanted it more than I had allowed myself to believe. When I surrendered my desire for marriage to Jesus, I experienced a great calm and an unexplainable peace. There was joy in being single! And in that season I grew closer to the Lord than I had ever been before. He gently reminded me that His way is so much sweeter and His plans, far greater. Marriage will not bring complete contentment. ONLY Jesus can bring that. It’s a lesson much easier learned while single.

I challenge you, single sisters, don't bow down to the idol of marriage. Take that precious desire that the Lord has placed in your heart and hand it back to Him. Surrender to Him your dreams of a strong hand to hold, your longings for children and grandchildren, and your deepest desires of living happily ever after. Trust His perfect will. One thing I have learned to be ever so true and real is that He is faithful. He will not leave you unsatisfied or with “second best” gifts. Trust His timing. Trust His heart. And keep Him on the throne.

Kristen Lisemby Lee is a happy wife to her best friend and preacher of the Gospel and a blessed mommy of one adorable little boy. She was home-educated and is a college graduate with a degree in Bible Arts. She finds joy in ministry, homemaking, writing, and being with family and friends. She is currently writing a book about purity and the faithfulness of God, inspired by her blog, The King’s Bride. When she’s not on the road, running errands, changing diapers, or picking up toys off the living room floor, she writing about marriage, motherhood, ministry, and what it means to be pure and set-apart women for Jesus Christ.

Her contact information:

www.thekingsbride31.blogspot.com,

www.createdtobehis31.blogspot.com

kristenlisembylee@yahoo.com

My Comments: I want to thank Kristen for writing about her personal struggle with making her desire for marriage an idol in her own life. I can relate a lot to her struggle, and will confess, that I am guilty about wanting marriage more than wanting God. Today, I pray that you have read this, and you can examine your own heart. Do you want God more than marriage? If you don't, then please take some time today to put God back where He belongs. Then come back every Saturday this month for a new guest post about singleness!

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Singleness Saturdays: New Series

2012-05-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

Hello, welcome to the first post of the new Singleness Saturday Series! I have thought about this idea for a while, and this is only the beginning. One thing that I have struggled with during my time of 24 years worth of being single is the "encouragement" that I can receive from older, married people. For us single girls, how many times have we heard the phrase: "One day it will be your turn", only the feel more discouragement than encouragement.

Well, hopefully this series will be different. I desire for all of us to learn how to encourage each other in each of our stages of life to strive to love God more, and to desire Him more than we do His blessings. For those that are single, our desire for marriage, companionship, children, and to be known completely can sometimes overwhelm our heart and our mind so much that we loose focus on what is really important. I am assuming that there are things in the lives of married women too, but since I have never been married, I don't really know :)

Well, here is the thing, married women have been single before. They have at one time been in the place where each of us single girls have been. The wondering if they will ever get married, or if they will ever have the family that always dreamed of, or scared that the answer to their prayers of asking for a husband was going to be "No", they have been there! Therefore, this series involves some amazing guest posts from some great married women who have agreed to help me with encouraging y'all.

Below is a video form Joy Eggerichs (her dad wrote Love and Respect and she is the director of the Love and Respect NOW division of Love and Respect Ministries), where she imparts some wisdom about singleness. It is the last segment of a three part video series on "The One", but I have personally gone back to watch this video several times. It offers a lot of encouragement and wisdom about being single. When I watched this video for the first time, its like a light bulb went off and I felt like these were all things my heart was feeling, but I didn't know how to put words to it.

I encourage you to watch this video, and explore her website, she has some really great resources for singles, dating/courting, marriage, communication, and just some general life posts for 18-35 year olds.

The posts so far in the Singleness Saturday Series are:
1. When Marriage Becomes an Idol
2. A Single Regret: Part I
3. A Single Regret: Part 2
4. Our Eyes Fixed On Jesus

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

I'm linking up at:

Cooking Lessons: Grandma's Homemade Granola with a Chocolate Twist

2012-05-04T10:28:00.001-04:00

Late last year, I introduced you to one of my grandmothers (my father's mother) and some of the Thanksgiving dessert recipes that we tried (You can see that post here).
In January of this year, I visited my other grandparents in Massachusetts. My mother's parents are very health conscious and love more natural, organic, and healthy foods. In my home growing up, I didn't experience a lot of variety in foods, so the usually breakfasts that I experienced was cold cereals, toast, pancakes, doughnuts, etc. Growing up, going to visit my Grammie and Granddad in Massachusetts was always a great experience for expanding my food palette. I was exposed to simple good foods like yogurt there, and just all around good food. This time when I visited, my grandmother had me help her cook their homemade granola that they have for breakfast several times a week. This recipe is the only kind of granola that my grandfather will eat, saying that that my grandma is the only one that knows how to make good granola. Sweet, right?
Here are some pictures of that time together, while making her granola.

Here is HER recipe:
4 cups of Quaker oats
1 cup of sliced almonds
1 cup of walnut pieces
1 cup of pecans
1 cup of dried fruit (cranberries)
1/2 cup of honey
1/3 cup of canola oil
1 tbsp of cinnamon

The steps are the same as my steps, so you will see the steps below!

Meet my Grammie :)

Here is my twist on her GREAT recipe:

4 cups of Quaker oats
1 cup of sliced almonds
1 cup of flax seeds
1 cup of pecans
1 cup of semi sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup of honey
1/3 cup of canola oil
1 tbsp of cinnamon

Directions:

0. Preheat oven to 300 degrees Fahrenheit.

1. Combine the oats, almonds, pecans and flax seeds (or walnuts if you are following my grandmother's recipe).

Thoroughly stir these ingredients together.

2. In a measuring cup, combine the honey, oil and cinnamon. I like to use a fork to combine these together.

3. In a different bowl, combine a cup of the oat mixture, with a drizzle of the honey mixture and stir until well combined. Then from there, alternate adding a cup of oats with a drizzle of honey, stirring between each addition.

4. Cut the mixture in half and spread each half on a cookie sheet, as thin as you can get. If you are using a cookie sheet that has sides (even the slightest), then make sure that none of the mixture is touching the sides of the sheet.

5. Bake in the oven at 300 for 10 min.

Then take our the sheets and use a spatula to turn the mixture.

Then put them back in the oven for another 10 min.

If your oven cooks fast, you might want to do 8-9 min.

After the 20 min, then let the granola cool on the sheets.

To avoid the granola clumping, then while its cooling, turn the mixture every 5-10 min while its cooling.

6. When the granola is completely done cooling, put it all in a large enough air tight container and mix in your chocolate chips (or dried fruit if you are following my grandmother's recipe).

Nutritional Facts (using MyFoodDiary.com recipe builder):

For a 1/2 cup serving:

Calories- 360

Total Fat- 22 g

Saturated Fat- 4.8 g

Sodium- 4 mg

Carbohydrates- 37.7 g

Fiber- 7.4 g

Sugars- 19.4 g... boo :(

Protein- 7.2 g

Calcium- 5%

Iron- 11%

I serve it with some vanilla almond milk.

Altogether, I a little concerned about the total fat and the sugar content of this meal, but while I am using MyFoodDiary.com, then I can plan on having a low fat, and low sugar meals the rest of the day and be fine.

I just love chocolate too much and it adds so much to the granola.

If you try either recipe, let me know how you like it!

I love the texture in this picture!

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Fasting for Your Future

2012-04-09T12:32:00.001-04:00

For the last year or so, I have been following a blog called fast.pray. Below is the direct quote from their "About" section from their website.

"In August of 2007 five single women, befuddled and broken over the lack of available Godly men and our own relationship failures, decided to start fasting and praying. The problem of unintentional singleness seemed (seems!) so wide-spread, and there aren’t any quick fixes. It’s a God sized problem, so we wanted to petition God more fervently to act. We decided to start fasting and praying lunch on Mondays for God to change us where we need to be changed; help men pursue, love and commit to women; and give the gift of marriage to us and our friends. A married friend joined us, and the six of us started reminding each other via email every Sunday of our commitment to fast and pray. Others began to join us, and emails started going out to 75, 100, 300 people… by January of 2011, over 500 people had asked to join our list. Some are fasting lunch, some fast all day, some fast something other than food."

I love this website, and read it on a weekly basis, but have never participated in the fasting part of it... I know right... In my walk with Christ, I have only fasted a few times, but its a Spiritual Discipline that I would like to develop.

So, today, I am using my day from school (its still spring break) to participate in my first fast (today I am know fasting from lunch) with fast.pray. I am going to use the time to pray for strong God centered marriage for those that desire them, and to develop a list of friends that I know desire to have strong God centered marriages, so that I can be praying for them (and myself) on a weekly basis.

If you would like to be on my list of women I will be praying for on a weekly basis while I fast, or if you would like to join the fast.pray. "movement" please let me know and I can get you connected!
Have a great Monday!

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Mediation Monday: Date Nights

2012-03-03T23:30:00.002-05:00

photo credit

Do you often find yourself at home alone on a Saturday night like me?

Well, starting back in college, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I started to use the extra time to spend with the Lord. Whatever negative emotion and energy I had, I needed to channel it into productive and positive energy.

Some people clean, some people watch movies, some people sleep, or whatever you do to pass time while you are feeling lonely, but I didn't want to just wait for the loneliness to pass, but to get rid of it! To do this I will from time to time spend some quality time with the Lord, something I like to call Date Night. Since dates with men happen when you schedule them (for the most part), I will also schedule my dates with the Lord, and intentionally say "No" to all other activities.

Now, if you are married or a parent, then you are thinking to yourself, "If only if I had that kind of time.... You just don't understand, I don't have any alone time, so I can't have these date nights with Jesus like you." And you know what I would say to that, "You are right, I don't understand, I don't have a husband or children that demand all of my time, but this is one of the reasons I am thankful to be single (your can read the rest of them here), and one way that I make use of my time now."

Being single is sometimes extremely difficult, I deal with emotions of feeling desperately lonely, and have to battle with thoughts of me not being worthy of someone to love me. There are times where the emotions are so strong, that physical symptoms occur (not often, but it has happened to me before). But none of this is productive for me, or for my relationship with God. So, I take the energy that is required to cry, scream into my pillow, lie on the floor in the fetal position, etc., and make better use of it by channeling it into praying, reading the Bible, or journaling.

A Date Night with Jesus is probably different than any other date that you will ever go on... But when I am on date with Jesus, I push aside those feelings of loneliness, and I even intentionally DON'T pray about relationships, my future husband, or future children. I focus on the NOW, asking for wisdom about my present, praying for other's present, asking for Him to reveal more about who He is and who I am.

There is no formula for a Date Night with Jesus, and I am not going to create one. This post is simply to encourage you to intentionally set aside some time to date Jesus. If you are single, then you might find this easier to do than your married friends, but I think that its important for all believers to intentionally set some time aside to spend with Jesus, above and beyond our devotional time. Its a time to refresh us, seek wisdom, and even gain perspective on our "Now". So, I encourage you, no matter your stage of life, try to find some time to intentionally spend with Jesus alone. The time will not return void, it will be worth it, and your perspective will thank you :)

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

We Need Each Other!

2012-02-19T23:03:00.000-05:00

I am guest posting over at Her Noble Character, today!

Here is the open lines of the post on what married women can do to help single women:

"I sometimes think that I don't anything in common with married woman. Somehow in my mind, the wedding ceremony changes someone, and makes them into someone that I can't relate to. They are now a married woman, and there is no way that she can understand what I am going through in my extended period of singleness."

If you would like to know the 8 things that married women can do to help single women, please join the conversation at Her Noble Character!

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Single Freedoms

2012-02-09T23:00:00.000-05:00

Today we have a guest Post from Melinda, who blogs over at Wholesome Womanhood.
I have (figuratively, of course) fallen off the face of the earth since starting my Teacher Internship. It is going well, but I will have a mini update soon. So, I didn't want to leave you hanging, so I have asked people to submit guest posts. Melinda wrote a beautifully light encouraging post about some of the great things about being single. Thanks Melinda!

Paul indicated in 1 Corinthians that singles have a greater degree of freedom in serving the Lord. How true that is! However, when I was single, I would gladly have traded that freedom for the “confines” of marriage. Yet, looking back, I am grateful for the freedoms and opportunities I had that I would not have been able to pursue (or would have been much harder) if I had been married.

So what freedoms are there for singles?

The opportunity to learn more about God and to serve Him.This needs some explanation. Every believer is commanded to learn about God. Yet, in singleness (at least in my single years) I had fewer responsibilities. This allowed me time to teach Sunday School, for instance. I also audited a class at a local Christian college that deepened my understanding on theological issues within the church.
The opportunity to study. I have heard it said (to me and to others) that if you are going to pursue higher education, it’s best to do it while single! I heartily concur. I finished my bachelor’s degree before I was married; however, I decided to begin my master’s degree a mere two months before I met the man who would be my husband. Our relationship happened so quickly, that I now find myself with the responsibilities of marriage and of school. Not a bad thing. But I have discovered it was definitely easier studying when I was single than it is now that I am married.
The opportunity to travel. I spent a semester studying abroad in Israel, learning more about the Bible in the places where the stories actually took place! It was incredible! A single friend of mine traveled to another state and spent time helping a mom whose husband was on the road a lot with work. The responsibilities of marriage (and eventually children!) will diminish the opportunities to travel.
Invest in your family and friends. Invest in your parents and your siblings. Invest in your friends. You’ll still have them after you’re married, but it will change. You won’t see your family as much. Your time will be taken with your new responsibilities at home . . . so you won’t see your friends as much (although you’ll probably be making new friends.) Enjoy the relationships you have now; invest in them. You’ll still have them after you’re married, but the nature of the relationships will change.

Most importantly, understand that God uses our singleness for our sanctification and His glory. Pursue what He places on your heart. Let Him be magnified and glorified through your years of singleness.

Here is her bio, written by her:

On October 22, 2011, Melinda married a wonderful man. Prior to that, however, she longed to be married and waited, continuously praying for God's will. Because of that season of singleness, Melinda learned a great deal about trusting in the love and sovereignty of God. She desires to share some of those lessons with others with the prayer that it will be encouraging to others in their seasons of singleness. She is currently adjusting to married life and learning about this new season of life God has given her.

HAVE A GREAT FRIDAY!!

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

Meditation Monday: One Thing that Changed My Prayer Life

2012-01-16T15:03:00.000-05:00

Source

Ever struggled with your prayer life? My story includes a lot of struggle with my relationship with the Lord, including my prayer life. One of the reasons I struggled so much was that I grew up in a family that didn't attend church on a regular basis. So, I didn't hear about the Lord a lot, and so the idea that I could have a personal relationship with the Father was very foreign to me. When I became a Christian, at the age of 16, I continually heard how important it was to read my Bible, pray daily, and to serve Him, so that I could grow in that relationship. So, when I was a teenager, the idea of spiritual disciplines became a way for me to grow closer to God, but also a way for me to win favor with the Lord (which I now know is Biblicaly wrong). I became legalistic about praying and reading my Bible, only to grow in knowledge (which is still good), but all of the discipline didn't change my heart, and it didn't gain me any favor with the Lord.

My transitional period was in college, when I took a Spiritual Disciplines class. My professor stressed the importance of this disciplines as heart chancing exercises, and a way for the Lord to not just increase my knowledge of Him, but grow me close to Him. While consistency is important, and probably for most of us takes discipline, its not about being legalistic about it, and we must understand that you don't gain favor from the Lord if you follow through with spiritual disciplines. The whole semester was spent wrestling with these ideas, and through that process I came out with a more comprehensive view of who the God of the Bible was, and not just the God I wanted Him to be.

But even after the class was over, I still struggled with being consistent with my prayer life, though I knew now that my lack of consistency wasn't going to lessen the Lord's faithfulness to me, and that by God's grace, He would be faithful to me, despite my unfaithfulness. I know that there is a balance between being spiritually disciplined and accepting God's grace and the balance is what we should be striving for.
So how does this translate to my (or our) prayer life?
A friend of mine gave me a great idea of how to remember to pray, and to pray consistently. Remember these verses:

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks for all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."- I Thessalonians 5:16-18

I wanted to strive to pray without ceasing, keeping that line of communication open with God through out the day, not just in my prayer journal, or before meals. But how would I do that? My friend suggested that I start to put a coin in my shoe. That coin was small enough to not hurt your foot, but its presence would be known to you. So, I started to put a coin in my shoe, and though not uncomfortable, you could still feel it constantly. Whenever I conscientiously felt the coin, I would just simply talk to the Lord. While in class, chapel, the cafeteria, studying in the library, while talking with friends, I was always aware of the coin in my shoe, and I would be praying. The mind has a great ability to multi-task, and even while I was attentive to all the earthly things around me, I was still communicating with God. My relationship with the Lord seemed to soar after that. I wanted to be reading my Bible all the time, I wanted to be writing in my prayer journal more, and I was striving for this close relationship not because I wanted favor with the Lord, but simply because I liked talking with Him. By God's grace, He gave me a passion to want to grow closer to Him more.

Source

Now, in with every relationship there are dry spells, so your relationship with God is not different. And I have experienced dry spells where in the middle of it have decided to remove the coin from my shoe. As a result my prayer life suffered. As I write this post, I am not currently using the coin in my shoe, but am challenging myself to take this practice up again. Since grad school has started (Jan 2011), I have noticed that I have been in some what of a dry spell with my relationship with the Lord, and I have tried to join every community group and Bible study to fix it and it hasn't worked. What I need is just some open communication with the Lord! So, today starts the challenge of putting a coin back in my shoe.

What about you, what to you do to help your prayer life, or help you get out of rough patches in your relationship with the Lord? Please leave a comment letting us know what you do.

Are you new around here? Start here. You can also "Like" the Facebook Page and subscribe to He will be faithful to complete it... by Email. Both are a great way to stay connected and find out when new posts go live. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope that the Lord uses these words to bless you today.

I'm linking up at:

Am I Distrusting God by Using Internet Dating?

2012-01-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

Image: renjith krishnan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I am about to reveal to the world about something that I have mixed feelings about: I have profiles on a few "dating" websites.

As a single college freshman, I had the idea that men would be lining up around the corner to date me, I might have a problem with humility, but I truly believed that I was a catch. Even with this silly idea in my head, I didn't outwardly flirt or try to pursue the men around me, I always knew I wanted to be the one pursued. But I still thought that the Lord would have at least some of the men around me notice that I was worth a second glance. Well, that didn't happen (to my knowledge)! And to be honest, looking back on my college experience, I am thankful that the Lord allowed me to go through school unscathed from the emotional baggage of dating men who would not become my husband and protecting my heart for my future.

But now that I am out of college, had countless friends (probably upwards of 20 in one summer) of mine get married, and well into my grad program at a public university, I am just not meeting the same kind of men that I was friends with in college. The men I hung out with were spiritually mature. They knew the Lord, loved the Lord and His Word, served the Lord, and wanted others to know Him too. They were students of God's Word, pursuing a relationship with their Creator, and by just being in their presence, I wanted a closer relationship with God, I wanted to serve Him more, and to know Him more. This kind of spiritual maturity is something that I need in the future marriage the Lord has for me. But in the last year, there have been many times where I have really questioned if my opportunity to meet spiritually mature men has dwindled. Of those that I have met that have been spiritually mature, they are either already married, or otherwise involved.

A few people suggested that I start using dating websites. I started to wonder if by using dating websites, if I was telling God that I no longer trusted Him with my relationship status. I thought that if I have truly surrendered my singleness to the Lord, then I shouldn't need to use these websites. Exposing this as an immature area of my life, I didn't realize that surrendering my relationship status to the Lord didn't mean that my desires would go away. And total surrender didn't mean that I needed to keep my eyes closed to the possibly to allow the Lord to bring a future husband into my life. Now, there is always the debate in Christian culture if being proactive in finding a spouse is what God intended. And I am not going to address this issue too much in this post, but you might be able to hypothesize that I don't think that proactively looking for a spouse is sinful or going against God's intended plan. Though I will say that for women "proactive" doesn't mean that we become the pursuer.

I honestly prayed about it, and sought the counsel of some older Christian women, whom's opinions I respect. In those times of prayer and seeking counsel, the Lord spoke to my soul and assured me of this truth: "The Lord is sovereign over all." Even over the internet, and dating websites. If I find someone by ways of church, family, friends, school, grocery store, pizza delivery, or a dating website, it will all be because the Lord choose for it to be that way. If He chooses to intend for a friend from college to be my future husband, He would be sovereign over that decision. Of course, MY first choice would be the Lord to orchestrate this amazing love story with someone that I might meet in "real" life, or even someone I already know, but I understand that the Lord knows more about my future than I do. Also, in understanding that the Lord is sovereign over all, I know that despite the lack of spiritually mature men around me, the Lord can bring him along at the right time, by the way in which will bring the Lord the most glory.

So, I started to use dating websites. I won't go into which ones, but let me be clear, my intention was never to go 50 first dates. My intention was to start meeting men who were spiritually mature, increasing the "pool" of men that I knew that were potentially marriage material. Engage in conversation and friendship, like one would in "real" life, but through an online medium. I have general rules when contacting and communicating with men on these websites, but in the year that I have done it, I have yet to communicate with someone that I feel like the Lord would want me to meet and invest time into a relationship with. The amazing thing about the Lord is that He continually protects my heart, all the while I'm on these websites. I am trusting Him in the process, that He will use whatever means He wants to use to bring my future husband into my life.

What I have come to understand during this time, is that it is not inherently evil and sinful, but its not inherently good either. Its all in how you use it, what your intentions are. The reasons for using dating websites is a good gauge to help you determine if you are distrusting in the Lord about your relationship status.

You might be distrusting the Lord:

If you've given up on God to provide you with husband, and you feel desperate.
If its more important to you to be with a man, than it is to be with God.
If by using these sites you are made into the pursuer, rather than the pursued.
If using these websites makes you feel more in control of your love life.

You might be trusting the Lord:

If you understand that you are NOT in the driver's seat.
If you believe that the Lord could use the sites as an avenue to meet the right man He has for you, but He might not.
If you honestly seek the Lord before you decide to use them (online dating isn't for everyone).

When God is in His proper place over your love life, then there is no fear that you are distrusting the Lord in using dating websites. Understanding God's sovereignty over all, you can rest easy that He will bring your spouse in the way that brings Him the most glory, and that might mean that He starts your love story over the internet. Online dating might not be where you meet your husband, but the Lord is still sovereign over your love life if you choose to use these types of websites. Consider your motives, consider your heart, consider your relationship with the Lord, cover yourself in prayer asking for discernment, and seek accountability in using these websites appropriately.

Cooking Lessons: Thumbprint Cookies, Peppermint Bark, Red Velvet Whoopie Pies, and Peppermint White Chocolate Popcorn

2012-01-09T12:56:00.000-05:00

I baked a lot during the Holidays, and since most of the recipes that I baked were all new to me, I wanted to share them with you :)

You will find the original recipes that I used, linked to the post.

Christmas:

1.Thumbprint Cookies, for a Christmas cookie exchange.

Mixed all ingredients together with a mixer

Using my thumb to create a "crater" to will with jelly

I used both grape and strawberry jelly

Cooling

2. Peppermint Bark

End Result

3. Red Velvet Whoopie Pies

All the ingredients!

Using an ice cream scoop, drop mounts of the
dough on a floored cookie sheet

Without the top pie, this is what the end result looks like!

New Years:

1. Peppermint White Chocolate Popcorn

Stove Popped Popcorn, Candy Canes and White Chocolate
make up this recipe

I tried to use a hammer to make the candy canes into pieces,
but it didn't work well, so I went with my blender.

mix the candy canes into the white chocolate,
then pour over popcorn.
I used my hands to try to distribute the
white chocolate equally among the popped corn.

Looking at all these pictures gives me a sugar high!
I hope you enjoy these recipes, and let me know if you happen to try any of these!