Not Now Silly

And Still More Notes From The Road

2013-06-17T23:01:00.001-04:00

• IRONY ALERT: I had to get something from the trunk of the car and needed to move the First Aid kit. I managed to slice open on a sharp edge of plastic. It bled like a stuck pig. Good thing I had a First Aid kit.

• After I went through Dayton, Ohio I caught an earworm of Randy Newman's tune that lasted for hours;

• The sweetest sound you'll even hear is "I'm going to let you off with a warning."

• Many signs warning that bridges ice up before the roadway, but I didn't see any ice.

• Cigarette smoking in restaurants is still allowed in South Carolina.

I'm kipping for the night. I have about 8 hours driving ahead of me tomorrow.

Night, night.

More Notes From The Road

2013-06-13T09:22:00.001-04:00

• South Carolina is the shredded tire capital of 'Merka;

• Dixie Chicken by Little Feat, the live version, is one of the all-time great driving tunes. Eight times in a row was overkill;

• How did I upload 10,000 tunes and forget Frank Zappa???

Michigan seems like a dream to me now. Canton? A nightmare.

Notes From The Road

2013-06-11T22:38:00.001-04:00

Here's what I learned today:

• A smartphone is useless if the Starbucks finder doesn't work;

• Sixteen hours of tunes and only one clunker;

• There are some really shitty drivers out there;

• I can't drive forever.

Taking a rest break for some shut eye.

The Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day

2013-06-10T10:47:00.001-04:00

A thread from Johnny Dollar's CABLE NEWS TRUTH sewer on my birthday

The Flying Monkey Squad™ is at it again.

The Flying Monkey Squad™ has, once again, started with an observation and, working backwards, created another Bogus Conspiracy Theory™. Then Johnny Dollar, aka Mark Koldys, allows the use of his sewer about CABLE NEWS TRUTH to disseminate their bullshit.

Wash, rinse, repeat. It's the same old pattern I've put up with for the last year of obsessive cyber-stalking by The Flying Monkey Squad™.

It's so nice that The Flying Monkey Squad thinks I am important enough to continue to cyber-stalk. You'd have thought li'l ol' me wouldn't be worth their time, but they just can't quit me.

Who is obsessed? They claim it's me. I say it's them. Who you gonna believe?

Take a look: Ashley Graham, aka Grayhammy, is quoting my emails from 10 years ago and making unfounded assumptions about it. He also quotes an exchange from somewhere with Johnny Dollar, aka Mark Koldys, from 2011. Check out that obsession!!! The NSA could use a few pointers from Ashley Graham on obsessive cyber-stalking.

Yet, this is his latest feeble attempt to discredit me.

That MoFo Grayhammy has proven once again that he simply doesn't understand how a nom de plume works. I created the character of Aunty Em Ericann SEVERAL YEARS before I was approached to write for NewsHounds. When I started writing for NewsHounds, I simply kept the nom de plume. Using a nom de plume to write under is not a lie, just ask A.A. Fair. In fact, in today's political climate it might be wise to use a nom de plume, right (he asks of the piece of shit hiding behind the sock puppet) Grayhammy?

Case in point: Ashley Graham and Mark Koldys tried to discredit me as a NewsHound writer by exposing my sex life. They sweep that inconvenient fact under the carpet. Exposing my sex life and Aunty Em's nom de plume proves why a political writer would need a nom de plume in this age of personal destruction, a tactic at which The Flying Monkey Squad™ excels.

Grayhammy claims, without proof, that I lied to my family and friends when I created the performance artist I named Aunty Em. Several hundred people knew I was Aunty Em, including my family, my friends, and Flo and Eddie, among many others. How much of a secret could it really be? Whenever I called up contacts for NewsHound research I'd introduce myself as "Headly Westerfield, writing for NewsHounds under the name of Aunty Em." AGAIN: How much of a secret could it really be?

The Flying Monkey Squads™ conspiracy theory falls apart right there. They know that, of course. Which is why they know they are lying about me when they continue to bring it up.

Having said all that: Johnny Dollar continues to prove that he is the enabler, and often instigator, of the The Flying Monkey Squad™. I cut enablers no slack. I wonder why a grown man -- a former Michigan prosecutor -- would act that way. I'm sure his parents taught him better than that.

Above: a mother's adoring eyes.
Far left, Grumpy Cat, aka Mark Koldys, aka Johnny Dollar, the fearless leader of The Flying Monkey Squad. You'd have thought his mother (pictured here with Brother Bruce and brother Ken) and father would have taught him to not be such a mendacious piece of shit.

I need to point out that Grayhammy also drags Patrick into his discussion. What's so HIGH-LARRY-US about that is for the longest time The Flying Monkey Squad™ kept accusing Aunty Em of being this person named Patrick, along with dozens of other sock puppets, even tho' the only name I was using online at that point was Aunty Em. When The Flying Monkey Squad™ finally exposed Aunty Em's identity they also proved I wasn't Patrick. Or have they? Bwah-ha-ha!!!

Regardless, now I am being accused of directing this Patrick -- telling him what to say. Aside from a few exchanges on various forums on the innertubes, I don't know Patrick. Nor do I tell him what to tweet. From what I have seen of Patrick's tweets, nobody tells him what to tweet. He tweets what he wants to tweet and much of it is unpleasant. But, I have no connection to Patrick. I never have. Nor do I feel a need to denounce someone I do not know. However, The Flying Monkey Squad™ loves to play guilt by association.

LAUGH OF THE DAY: "You've inspired a hammytweet." And, sure enough, as if on cue, there was a hammytweet tweet about Chicolinis:

Remember when Headly Westerfield use 2refer2others as Chicolini? It was back when he called himself Anti-American..oops, Aunty Em Ericann
— Ashley Graham (@Grayhammy) June 8, 2013

I can't wait to see what chicken entrails Johnny Dollar, aka Mark Koldys, Grayhammy, and the rest of The Flying Monkey Squad™ examine next to come up with their next Bogus Conspiracy Theory™ concerning me. Sadly I am leaving for my Sunrise to Canton Road Trip For Research first thing in the morning, so I may not be able to see what those assholes get up to for the next few days.* However, you can bet it will be a doozy. Hilarity ensues.

* h/t to my innertube tipster. You know who you are.

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Les Paul ► The Man Who Made Rock and Roll Possible

2013-06-09T10:37:00.000-04:00

Not Now Silly celebrates the birth of the man that made it all possible: Lester William Polsfuss, better known as Les Paul.

Les Paul didn't invent the guitar, which falls into the family of chordophones.Those go back several thousands of years to India and China. Modern descendants include the lute and violin, not to mention the guitar as we now know it.

Les Paul didn't even invent the electric guitar. That happened in 1931 when George Beauchamp invented a magnetic pick-up for the Ro-Pat "Frying Pan" lap steel guitar. Les Paul didn't get around to inventing his solid body electric guitar until 10 years later and even then it was just a 2x4 with the electronics hidden inside. It was so ugly, and Les received so many negative comments on it, he disguised it by hiding it in a dummy guitar.

Les Paul didn't even invent overdubbing, although he perfected it and popularized the technique.

Yet, Les Paul is often credited with inventing all three. The New York Times 2009 obituary stated:

Mr. Paul was a remarkable musician as well as a tireless tinkerer. He played guitar alongside leading prewar jazz and pop musicians from Louis Armstrong to Bing Crosby. In the 1930s he began experimenting with guitar amplification, and by 1941 he had built what was probably the first solid-body electric guitar, although there are other claimants. With his guitar and the vocals of his wife, Mary Ford, he used overdubbing, multitrack recording and new electronic effects to create a string of hits in the 1950s.

Mr. Paul’s style encompassed the twang of country music, the harmonic richness of jazz and, later, the bite of rock ’n’ roll. For all his technological impact, though, he remained a down-home performer whose main goal, he often said, was to make people happy.

Nothing I could write would explain it any better than the wonderful documentary "Chasing Sound," which intercuts contemporary footage of Les Paul performing at the Iridium Jazz Club -- which he did right up to his death at the age of 94 -- with historic footage and music telling Les Paul's life story. Watch:

I've also put together a Les Paul Jukebox for your listening pleasure:

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Happy Birthday Frank Lloyd Wright

2013-06-08T08:10:00.000-04:00

Dateline June 8, 1867 - Frank Lloyd Wright is born in Wisconsin. By the time he died at the age of 92, he would be considered the greatest architect that ever lived.

By 1956 Wright was so famous that the What's My Line panel had to be blindfolded when he Wright appeared before them. And, as usual, Dorothy Kilgallen was the smartest person in the room.

If you were to remove all the buildings from the equation, Frank Lloyd Wright still lived lived a life that can hardly be believed. At the height of his initial fame, with a wife and 7 children, he ran away with a client's wife. While in Europe he was denounced from pulpits across the country and he lost all commissions. People thought his career was over. However, he eventually returned to the States with Memeh Cheney and started all over again from the bottom.

Wright built Taliesin and restarted his career, reaching new heights. Then one tragic day in 1914, while Wright was off working on a building, a male servant set fire to Taliesin during a lunch Mameh was hosting. As people fled the smoke-filled dining room, Julian Carlton hacked seven people to death with an axe. Among the dead was Mameh Cheney and her two children. Wright was shattered.

But, it's all about the buildings. It didn't hurt that Wright was a consummate salesman and his #1 product was Frank Lloyd Wright.

More than anything else Frank Lloyd Wright changed the way all suburbs looked. His beautiful Prairie Home was copied tens of millions of times over by bad architects to become the ranch-style house that crowds out good architecture in our suburban landscape.

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John and Yoko and Frank and Flo and Eddie

2013-06-06T10:28:00.002-04:00

John Lennon and Yoko One perform with Frank Zappa and The Mothers

Dateline June 6, 1971 - Frank Zappa and his newly formed Mothers play a notorious gig at the Fillmore East. This was the second night of a two night stand. As he had done previously, Zappa had a surprise for the audience: an encore set backing up John Lennon and Yoko Ono, just beginning their sojourn in NYC that ended so tragically.

The inner-sleeve from Lennon's release

The minimalist cover as released by Zappa

Zappa had arranged for the night to be recorded, as he increasingly did for all live performances. He came to release the night's performance by The Mothers as "Fillmore East - June 1971." It was the latest chapter in the band's "Touring can make you crazy" phase, which culminated in the movie 200 Motels. During the evening's entertainment Flo and Eddie, alternatively playing both groupies and Pop Stars, document Vanilla Fudge having sex with a mudshark at the Edgewater Motel, meet Bwana Dik, reprise a few classic Zappa tunes, and eventually agree to sing their big hit song -- WITH A BULLET!!! -- "Happy Together."

Then Zappa sprung John and Yoko on the audience instead of the encore:

~~ Rare footage of Frank Zappa, Flo and Eddie and John and Yoko ~~

Frank Zappa turned the portion of John and Yoko's performance over to him after the show. As was his wont, Lennon turned the tapes over to Phil Spector, who remixed the tapes and released it in 1972 as Side 4 of the "Some Time In New York City" double-record set. Frank Zappa was extremely unhappy with the results and lawsuits were threatened before it all got settled to everyone's satisfaction. Frank Zappa tells that story:

Howard Kaylan tells the story from his point of view in his recently released autobiography Shell Shocked [reviewed here]:

If our first Fillmore show [...] was wonderful, our second was transcendent. When the concert ended and the audience stood, waiting for their encore, it felt as if a herd of elephants had entered the auditorium as the world's most famous couple walked onstage. The resulting jam was recorded by both Frank and the Fillmore and was released on two different albums. John released it as the 4th LP [sic] in his Some Times In New Your City compilation on Apple, although he took writing credit on every song, including Frank's iconic "King Kong," which h renamed and tried to publish. Frank's lawyers had to sue John's lawyers to straighten the entire thing out, and it really wasn't all that great anyway, but at least I can say that I am among a handful of people, right alongside Paul McCartney, to ever share a writing credit with the immortal John Lennon. So there.

Zappa got the last laugh. He eventually released his own, remixed, versions of those recordings on the Playground Psychotics CD. He gave the songwriters the proper credits, but renamed one of the tunes "A Small Eternity with Yoko Ono."

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Elvis Scandalizes 'Merka ► Another Magical Tee Vee Moment

2013-06-05T09:29:00.001-04:00

Dateline June 5, 1956 - Elvis Presley appeared on the Milton Berle Show. Coming during his first brush with national fame, his pelvic gyrations were so suggestive that it became a national scandal. No, really!

In March of '56 Elvis had released his eponymous debut LP on RCA. The label bought out his contract from Sun Studios the previous year. This LP would go on to become the first #1 Rock and Roll album, topping the Billboard charts for 10 weeks. Some 50 years later it ranked #56 on Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. However, Elvis was barely known at this point in his career. All that would change within the next six months.

Just a month after the LP's release, Elvis appeared for the first time on the Milton Berle Show, singing an extremely hot version of Heartbreak Hotel from the deck of the USS Hancock. (Don't ask.) When the performance finished, Elvis continued his tour. There was no public outcry. Watch:

To show how much Show Bidnezz has changed since then: Heartbreak Hotel wasn't even on the LP Elvis had just released. He wasn't promoting his new LP; Elvis was still promoting his January single, which had already topped the Billboard charts for 7 weeks. The music industry still thought of 45s as the money-makers, with LPs often an afterthought. Heartbreak Hotel would go on become the biggest selling single that year.

Elvis was just on the cusp of national and international fame. He had recently signed a 7-year Hollywood contract to star in movies and was still touring extensively. Milton Berle, who was trying to save his show from cancellation (unsuccessfully, as it turned out), booked Elvis for a return visit to his show in June, this time appearing at NBC's studio in Hollywood. Before the show began Milton Berle, the show biz veteran of Vaudeville, radio, and tee vee, gave Elvis some advice; five words that changed history.

"Let 'em see you, son," Milton Berle reportedly told Elvis, successfully convincing him to leave his guitar behind when he performed Hound Dog, a song he hadn't even recorded yet. Without his guitar to hide behind, Elvis' dancing was more exaggerated than his previous visit. While some girls screamed, much of the audience is confused, laughing and tittering. Clearly, they've never seen anything quite like this before:

'Merka clutched its metaphorical pearls. According to the WikiWackyWoo:

Presley's gyrations created a storm of controversy. Television critics were outraged: Jack Gould of The New York Times wrote, "Mr. Presley has no discernible singing ability. ... His phrasing, if it can be called that, consists of the stereotyped variations that go with a beginner's aria in a bathtub. ... His one specialty is an accented movement of the body ... primarily identified with the repertoire of the blond bombshells of the burlesque runway." Ben Gross of the New York Daily News opined that popular music "has reached its lowest depths in the 'grunt and groin' antics of one Elvis Presley. ... Elvis, who rotates his pelvis ... gave an exhibition that was suggestive and vulgar, tinged with the kind of animalism that should be confined to dives and bordellos". Ed Sullivan, whose own variety show was the nation's most popular, declared him "unfit for family viewing".

Ed Sullivan was brutal in his assessment of Elvis Presley:

Watching clips of the Allen and Berle shows with his producer, Sullivan had opined that Presley "got some kind of device hanging down below the crotch of his pants–so when he moves his legs back and forth you can see the outline of his cock. ... I think it's a Coke bottle. ... We just can't have this on a Sunday night. This is a family show!" Sullivan publicly told TV Guide, "As for his gyrations, the whole thing can be controlled with camera shots."

Which is exactly what he did.

Sullivan was forced to book Elvis when Steve Allen's show with Elvis singing Hound Dog to an actual hound dog, beat Sullivan's show in the ratings. Elvis has called this the most ridiculous performance of his career:

Quickly reversing his principled stand to obtain boffo ratings, Sullivan offered Elvis the unheard of sum of $50,000 for three appearances. In case anything went terribly wrong on the first Sullivan performance, Ed Sullivan made sure that he could not be blamed. He had guest host Charles Laughton filling in while he recuperated from a car accident. Elvis performed Love Me Tender for the 60 million viewers who tuned in.

While his first Sullivan appearance cemented Elvis Presley's fame, it was his appearance on the Milton Berle Show that earned him the nickname of Elvis the Pelvis. He hated this phrase the rest of his life, calling it, "one of the most childish expressions I ever heard comin' from an adult."

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When the picture is sideways

2013-06-03T10:57:00.001-04:00

The phone needs to be in landscape.

Preparing for the Road Trip

2013-06-03T10:54:00.001-04:00

I will be posting to Not Now Silly while on the road. This is how updates from my phone will look.

Happy Birthday Chuck Barris

2013-06-03T08:17:00.000-04:00

Today all of 'Merka is celebrating the 84th birthday of game show producer, Gong Show Host, and paid CIA assassin Chuck Barris.

Barris is often called the Father of Reality Television, a smear he has tried to live down. However, few people realize that long before he launched The Dating Game, The Newlywed Game and The Gong Show, he wrote Freddie "Boom Boom" Cannon's greatest hit, "Palisades Park."

Less known is his career as a CIA hit man who rubbed people out in exotic locations around the world, while chaperoning Dating Game couples who won All Expense Paid Trips™. Barris repented in his "unauthorized autobiography" Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. The book was so compelling that director George Clooney felt compelled to turn it into a docudrama, with great effect.

However, no matter how many bad people he's killed (33 at last report), Chuck Barris will never have been a greater service to his country than he was when he created The Gong Show. Your argument is invalid.

This segment was censored before being broadcast to the west coast

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Unpacking The Writer ► Hits and Misses

2013-06-02T08:12:00.002-04:00

Something happened overnight. I don't know what it was, but I'm delighted.

When I woke up early this morning Not Now Silly already had 230 hits since 8PM last night. Normally there is only some 30-50 hits overnight, with an average of 350-400 hits for an entire day. That's why this morning's number was such a surprise.

Nearly half of those hits (97) were for what I consider to be a very important post. "Did Roger Ailes Dupe James Rosen, Or Did Rosen Dupe 'Merka?" actually breaks new news about Watergate, some 40 years after the fact. In this post I accuse Fox "News" Chief Washington Correspondent James Rosen of using his revisionist John Mitchell biography "The Strong Man" to cover up Richard Nixon's treason. This treason is one of the lesser-known crimes of Tricky Dicky's, which actually took place before he became president. While I only posted it in March, it's become so popular with my readers that it already appears on my All Time Top Ten list at Number 6, leapfrogging my previous post that made fun of James Rosen -- Aunty Em Ericann's Bun Fight With James Rosen of Fox "News" -- during the night.

The 2nd most popular post of the last 24 hours -- but with only 1/3rd the number of hits as the Rosen post -- is Another Magical Tee Vee Moment ► Barbara Walters ► Katherine Hepburn ► Trees, a small bit of silliness I posted exactly 1 year ago today. However, I promoted that archival post yesterday, so it garnering recent hits is not much of a surprise.

In 3rd place for the last 24 hours (as well 3rd for the entire week already) is my recent review of Howard Kaylan's book SHELL SHOCKED; My Life With The Turtles, Flo & Eddie, and Frank Zappa, etc. ... Howard liked the review enough to have promoted it several times on facebook and Twitter. Thanks, Howie! [He wouldn't have an ulterior motive, would he?]

Rounding out Today's Top Ten:

Musical Interlude ► Easy Star's Lonely Hearts Dub Band
Day In History ► May 31, 1921 ► When Whites Went Crazy In Tulsa
Day In History ► Josephine Baker Born
Musical Appreciation ► Brian Jones [My All Time #1 blog post]
The Detroit Riots ► Unpacking My Detroit ► Part Five
The Sunrise to Canton Road Trip For Research
Fox "News" Spin Cycle ► Episode 34

Still with me, readers? If so, click on an advert over there in the right column. >>>=====> See them over there? It will cost you nothing to click on an advert, but I get a few pennies when you do. And, I do mean few. However, that's the only remuneration I get for the many hours of work I put into crafting these posts for your enjoyment. Clicking on an advert is the least you can do.

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Book Review: Shell Shocked by Howard Kaylan with Jeff Tamarkin

2013-05-31T09:16:00.001-04:00

Actual cover by the actual Cal Schenkel

SHELL SHOCKED; My Life With The Turtles, Flo & Eddie, and Frank Zappa, etc. . . .
by Howard Kaylan with Jeff Tamarkin

A few years back my buddy Alan scored some tickets to Hippiefest, the Rock and Roll nostalgia show then schlepping across 'Merka during the Summer of Love, aka 2009. As is our wont when attending concerts, we went early for the people watching.

It could have been was the name "Hippiefest." Or else it could have been the fact that Hippiefest included, along with The Turtles featuring Flo & Eddie, Chuck Negron of Three Dog Night, Felix Cavaliere of The Rascals, Joey Molland of Badfinger and Leslie West with a tribute to Mountain; all '60s icons. Regardless, the audience was a veritable sea of tie die. Alan (who is 13 years younger than me) and I laughed and made fun of all the old, decrepid Hippies wallowing in ponytails and nostalgia -- until I realized I was one.

Howard Kaylan, of the aforementioned Flo & Eddie's Turtles, has now written his life story, which turns out to be a very funny book about far more than Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll -- although it's got plenty of that, too. This is a book about the very continuum of Show Bidnezz itself, filled with unexpected twists and turns and populated with cameos by the unlikeliest of people, including Soupy Sales, Ian Whitcomb, Aston "Family Man" Barrett, Care Bears, Johnny Carson, Jerry Lewis, Orson Bean, and Twiggy, just to name a few. And, of course, the book is also jam-packed with stories about those in the music business that you'd expect, like Marc Bolan, Frank and Gail Zappa, Ray Davies, John Sebastian, Chip Douglas, Bob Ezrin, Alice Cooper, The Beatles, Brian Jones, and Jimi Hendrix, among many others. [The last 3 encountered on the same magical night.] The list of cameos goes on and on, but none of it comes off as name-dropping on Kaylan's part. He's just telling his stories.

Flo & Eddie's Turtles at Hippiefest during the Summer of Love of 2009

For me the most revealing scene takes place near the beginning of the book. Howard was still a kid and he's on his first great Road Trip, riding in the back seat as his dad drove clear across the country to take a job with General Electric in Los Angeles. The Kaplan [sic] family stopped in Las Vegas and took in the free lounge show of Louis Prima and Keeley Smith. Kaylan admits:

Louis and Keeley invented a style of cabaret that my singing partner Mark [Volman] and I later adapted (all right, we took it, okay?) and still use in every single performance. Louis would clown it up, big time, while the lovely Indian maiden, Keeley, would stand as stiffly as a mannequin and sing in her mesmerizing style, seemingly oblivious to her husband's mad antics. Only eight or nine short years later, those two fat front men in the Turtles were cashing in by doing the very same thing. If you don't know who they were, maybe you remember David Lee Roth's big hit "Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody"? That's a note-for-note cover of Louis Prima's arrangement. Seriously, if you are still drawing a blank, get a DVD or go on YouTube and check out their nightclub act from the '50s and '60s. They were amazingly ahead of their time. Hey, Sinatra loved them. The whole business loved them. They molded me.

[Full disclosure: "Just A Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody" is a song that I have nailed many times during drunken Karaoke nights. I always do the Prima version, even though the Karaoke machine thinks it's David Lee Roth's version.]

By the time you get to the end of Shell Shocked Kaylan has detailed several more Road Trips, each more hilarious than the last. However, it was Kaylan's stories about The Business of Show, like the Prima/Smith tale above, that gave me a new view of the entertainment industry. I had always viewed the invention of Rock and Roll as The Great Dividing Line™ between then and now. The Brill Building had figuratively burned down. Nothing was ever the same. However, Kaylan's life story comfortably straddles that line between Old Show Biz and Everything That Came After. Show Bidnezz is, and has always been, a continuum, with Kaylan's memoirs just the latest piece of the puzzle.

One of the most amusing stories in the book is also the subject of "My Dinner With Jimi," the 2003 movie about Kaylan's first visit to Swingin' London, flush with his earliest Turtles fame. I won't give anything away other than to say the telling of the story in the book is much funnier than the movie (written by one Howard Kaylan, tackling his first full-length movie script). I don't know if it was the direction, the silly '60s costumes and wigs, or the barely adequate acting, but the movie never grabbed me. However, Howard's telling in the book makes it clear why someone wanted to film that story. It's HIGH-LARRY-US. As a Show Biz Raconteur™ Kaylan delivers the goods time and time again in Shell Shocked.

Freak Out was the antithesis of bubblegum

What makes Howard's story so interesting is that he's far more than just a single thread in the great Rock and Roll tapestry. Yet so few people know him by name. They'll be familiar with hits like "Happy Together," "Let Me Be," and "Elinore," but The Turtles were not a group known individually.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I am a Johnny-come-lately to The Turtles oeuvre. Oh, sure I knew the hits, but back in the '60s I had a predjudice against anything I considered "bubblegum." That's why I was a Zappa fan from Day One. Freak Out had one of the ugliest bands I had ever seen on the cover and bought it for that reason alone. I listened to it so much I knew every note and I could quote by heart the liner notes that said:

“I’d like to clean you boys up a bit and mold you. I believe I could make you as big as the Turtles.”
~~~~~A Noted L.A. Disc Jockey

That's why it was such sweet irony that a few years later the two lead singers for The Turtles, Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan, had joined Frank Zappa and not the other way around. However, due to what must have been one of the worst contracts in the entire music bidnezz, Volman and Kaylan were not only prevented from using The Turtles name, which is slightly understandable, but were also prevented from using their own names, which is simply incomprehensible. That's why they were forced to adopt the noms de song of The Phlorescent Leech and Eddie, eventually shortened to Flo & Eddie.

It was only as members of Zappa's band that I came to appreciate Kaylan's backstory and the subversive quality to The Turtles music, especially the latter LPs. However, it was as the voices of Zappa, singing about how touring can make you crazy, that gave Volman and Kaylan street cred, not only to me, but millions of Zappa fans around the world. Sadly their connection with Zappa came to an abrupt end when the 1971 tour disintegrated in disaster. First came the fire in Montreux, which burned the stage and all their equipment; an event witnesses by Deep Purple and memorialized in the song "Smoke on the Water." The band gamely voted to continue the tour with borrowed equipment. A week later, while performing the encore at London's Rainbow Theatre, a jealous fan jumped onstage and pushed Zappa into the orchestra pit.

At this point in their career Flo and Eddie were forced to reinvent themselves and strike out on their own again. [Even more full disclosure: It was at this low point in their career that I met Flo & Eddie and came to their rescue. I tell that tale in Flo and Eddie and Mark and Howard.] Flo and Eddie albums followed, as did backing vocals for some of Rock's most iconic artists and songs, and then comes the family-friendly cartoons. Name any other artist talented enough to go from singing about sex with mud sharks to Care Bears.

All of these twists and turns are told with great verve and humour by Kaylan (although he chose to leave our meeting out). Kaylan kept a diary from his earliest days, which must have been an enourmous help, considering the Rock and Roll lifestyle makes many mornings cloudy.

A Zappa era song sung by Flo & Eddie about the Rock and Roll lifestyle.

Any quibbles I have with Shell Shocked are minor: 1). While Kaylan dishes the dirt, with most of the stories being told on himself, the most negative portrayals in the book have to do with ex-managers and other Show Biz people who ripped him off. However, Kaylan avoids naming names. Someone must have warned him about defamation lawsuits; 2). I had hoped to learn more about how he felt during the Kafkaesque period when he wasn't allowed to ply his trade under his own name. Sadly he doesn't talk about his feelings here (or elsewhere) in the book; 3). The actual business dealings with Zappa and, post-Frank, Gail Zappa. Gail continues to release posthumous Frank Zappa recordings that feature Flo and Eddie. My understanding is that Howard sees no money from these releases. However, Kaylan was very circumspect in describing Gail in the book and I get the sense he held a lot back.

Howard Kaylan, star of stage, screen, and now book lists

This is mere nitpickery on my part, only realized in retrospect for this review. I certainly didn't miss it in the reading. From cover to cover Shell Shocked is a terrific, rollicking trip through the world of Rock and Roll. It gets the Aunty Em seal of approval.

SHELL SHOCKED; My Life With The Turtles, Flo & Eddie, and Frank Zappa, etc. . . . by Howard Kaylan with Jeff Tamarkin; Backbeat Books, Paperback, ISBN 978-1-61780-846-3 304 pages, index, pictures

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The Sunrise to Canton Road Trip For Research

2013-05-26T12:22:00.000-04:00

Dear Readers: I am taking a road trip north for some very deep research into one of my ongoing writing projects in a few weeks. I'll be leaving Florida on June 11th and visiting folks along the way.

I'm calling this The Sunrise to Canton Road Trip For Research because the bulk of my research (although not all of it) will be in Canton, Michigan. I will also be dragging along my not-so-trusty laptop because -- and I'm excited by this -- I am in final negotiations to blog my trip for a popular Detroit area web site. Details to be announced. I also plan to blog some separate adventures here at Not Now Silly.

Canton, Michigan Fun Fact:
It has an Ikea.

A FUNTASTIC OFFER: While on this drive I will stop and visit you, provided you don't live too far off the beaten track. Message me privately if you'd like the full Aunty Em experience. I already have 4 people who have signed up. There is still room for 1 or two more, depending on your location.

BUT WAIT!!! THAT'S NOT ALL!!! ANOTHER FUNTASTIC OFFER: Once I am in Michigan I will also be setting up a get-together for all my Detroit-area peeps at a local coffee shop. [Who am I kidding? It'll be at a Starbucks.] Details to be announced. If you'd like to be kept informed, just let me know.

The return trip will begin on or about June 17th.

I have started testing out all my electronic equipment, making sure all these devices will talk to each other. So far, it's not going well. I'm glad I started early.

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The Day I Met Keith Emerson ► Nostalgia Ain't What It Used To Be

2013-05-25T14:25:00.000-04:00

I told this story on my facebook wall and someone asked, "Why didn't you save that for your blog?" <facepalm> Of course!!! Here's a slightly edited version:

Over the years I've threatened to tell the story of meeting Keith Emerson in his living room in Nassau, Bahamas, way back in the '70s when I was a vacationing Rock and Roll journalist from Toronto. Now seems as good a time as any.

My friend Larry Ellenson, owner of Toronto's Round Records, had a rental property on Nassau Island in the Bahamas that he wasn't using. I agreed to rent it from him for 3 weeks one winter when I really needed to get away from the cold. The price was reasonable, far less expensive than a hotel would cost. And, because it was a house with a functioning kitchen, I could have most meals on the cheap from groceries picked up fresh at the outdoor markets. Hanging out in a private home is far more relaxed than being a tourist in a resort, hanging out with people just like myself. My neighbours were all Bahamians, or transplanted people now calling Nassau their home.

The house was on the south side of Bay Road, across from the houses right on the beach, west of the bridge that goes across to the fancy hotels on Paradise Island. Although there were houses all along the beach, I was told that those people only owned the property their houses sat upon, but didn't own the beach behind their houses. Therefore, when I wanted to go to the beach I took the shortcut; I just walked across the street and down someone's driveway to the sand, as opposed to taking the long way around. The long way was to walk a block east to the local park that connected to the beach. Consequently, I walked up and down the same driveway many times a day because in my fridge was a pitcher filled with a Kahlua and milk concoction. I kept going back to refill my glass.I was on vacation!

That's who she worked for.

There was this a beautiful woman I saw on the beach every day. She was a nanny for the family that lived in the house whose driveway I walked down many times every day. I'd read or swim, but occasionally we'd talk as I watched her play with the kids. After more than a week we got, shall we say, more friendly, and spent some evenings together after she was off duty.

At first, she had been really leery about the fact that I was a Rock and Roll journalist on vacation. However, she eventually found out I was truly just there for a vacation (and to meet Third World at Compass Point Studios) she relaxed somewhat. However, it's obvious she didn't trust me completely because she never told me who she worked for.

So, it was her day off and the family she worked for was elsewhere. She invited me across the street to hang out. We were on our 2nd or 3rd beer when suddenly a man came rushing into the house yelling something like, "Don't mind me. I just need to pick up something."

As he walked into the room, I recognized him immediately. Keith Fucking Emerson!!! His nanny introduced us. "Keith? This is Headly. Headly, Keith."

Check out this supergroup playing in Japan in 1990: Keith Emerson - Keyboards,
Jeff "Skunk" Baxter - Guitar, Joe Walsh - Guitar, John Entwistle - Bass Guitar, Simon Phillips - Drums
I was sprawled back in his beanbag chair with his nanny and a beer in my left hand. As I awkwardly tried to get onto my feet, Keith politely reached out his hand to shake mine. I took it and he pulled me to my feet as we continued to shake hands. Then he grabbed whatever he came home for and, in less than 2 minutes, Keith Emerson was gone and I never saw him again. Not even in concert.

When I acted like a total Rock and Roll fan boy -- and not a journalist -- the nanny relaxed completely. She told me how difficult it could be, at times, to protect the family's privacy. I assured her I wasn't there to infiltrate the family and write about Keith Emerson and promised her I wouldn't. I kept that promise until now. I think the statute of limitations is up.

EPILOGUE: A few minutes later we walked to the kitchen fridge to get another beer. I had seen the fridge on a previous walk to the kitchen, without really looking at it. However, this time I did. There's a snapshot of Keith Emerson with Peter Frampton. There's a snap of Keith and a Rolling Stone on the beach. There are snaps Keith and all kinds of Rock and Rollers on the fridge, posing on boats and the beach, with wives, children, and pets, just like the snapshots on everyone's refrigerator everywhere.

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The Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day

2013-05-24T07:53:00.001-04:00

The original Grumpy Cat, Mark Koldys

A sincere h/t to my innertube buddy (who wishes to remain anonymous) who always feels the need to fill me in whenever the Flying Monkey Squad™ -- Mark Koldys and Ashley Graham -- gets to tweeting about me again.

I don't see these gems on my Twitter feed because I blocked The Flying Monkey Squad a year ago. Their circle jerks are boring and predictable.

However, every once in a while my electronic friend suggests I take a look. It's usually worth a glance to see what my Cyber-Stalking Bullies are up to. It's just not always worth writing about.

However, the most recent links sent to me demonstrate -- once again -- several things I have already pointed out, but bear repeating:

These crazy MoFos are truly obsessed with me. The Flying Monkey Squad could very well be my most faithful followers, and I have some pretty rabid followers;
My tweets and facebook postings are poured over, examined, and dissected. Then they are spit back out by the Flying Monkey Squad, as twisted as a Bush-choking pretzel;
There's nothing too trivial that the Flying Monkey Squad won't use to distort, twist, and lie in order to try and smear me;
Mark Koldys, aka Johnny Dollar, enables and cheers on Ashley Graham by retweeting just about every lie he sends out about me;
When they retweet me, or discuss me, I pick up a few new followers. Thanks for the free promotion, boys;
These people are truly sick fucks who will now accuse me of being obsessed because I have -- once again -- documented their Cyber-Stalking obsession.

Here is one of Wednesday's tweets (there were several others in the same vein) in which I am accused of supporting child rape because I happen to support Kate, the young lady in Florida who was charged after she turned 18 with sex crimes at the insistence of her lover's parents, upset at her lesbianism:

I'd rather be a Fox "News" Hater than a Fox "News" Defender, like Mark Koldys, aka Johnny Dollar. To have to defend Fox "News" for its daily lies must be soul crushing. Unless one has no soul, which may very well be why Mark Koldys can do it for years on end.

As he always does, if he bothers to defend himself at all, Ashley Graham, aka GrayHammy, will say, "Hey! What? Me? I'm just asking questions."

Here's a question: Is Ashley Graham a confessed pedophile, or was that Blackflon? I always forget. Either way, Mark Barnard is just another member of The Flying Monkey Squad and they all support each other like any group of psychopathic sycophants who feed off each other. Think Manson Family with computers instead of knives.

Here's one of Thursday's tweets. Note how my pathetic little joke about Jack Webb and Neil Cavuto is turned against me:

What does my sex life or my facebook pics or my
tweets have to do with CABLE NEWS TRUTH?

This simply proves, once again, that there's no comment of mine too trivial for Ashley Graham and Mark Koldys to twist. No low to which they won't go in order. No lie they won't concoct. No words they won't mischaracterize. No decency they won't vitiate. Over the past year The Flying Monkey Squad has continued to prove -- over and over again -- what I wrote in the very first post on the Not Now Silly blog: Johnny Dollar Has Proven Himself To Be A Very Dangerous Person.

Grumpy Cat Mark Koldys

Every time Mark Koldys' Flying Monkey, Ashley Graham, flings poo, most of the shit winds up on Mark Koldys. I love the irony.

Oh, BTW: Have you ever seen this memo in which Mark Koldys supports well-known religious nutcase Pat Robertson for president? In this memo Mark Koldys alleges an evil, dark conspiracy on the part of Jack Kemp to steal the nomination for George Bush. Oddly enough this secret, hush hush, confidential memo got right back to Jack Kemp because this copy was released by Kemp's office:

Actual memo from Mark Koldys supporting religious nut Pat "Homos Cause Hurricanes" Robertson for POTUS

UPDATED: WebVee Guide ► Fun While It Lasted

2013-05-22T01:30:00.000-04:00

Still waiting for that Friday morning conference call

I am no longer associated with WebVee Guide in any way, shape or form.

I felt WebVee Guide an interesting concept, which is why I joined up. However, I simply cannot recommend, or work with, people who are so paranoid that they'd accuse me of appropriating their images and other intellectual property in my tweets and blog post promoting their web site.

They sent me a cease and desist order. Really. It came from a lawyer, who is one of the owners.

And that was only one thing they were angry about. They thought my tweets were unfair because they drove traffic to this post (which has now been changed because LAWYER!). When I agreed to be their Feature Writer, I simply didn't realize they also hired out my tweets and my blog posts. I was still labouring under the presumption that my Twitter feed remained my own and I could use it however I wanted. I also assumed that they'd be delighted that I used my blog real estate (and my own time creating it) to a blog post promoting their site. I seemed to have misjudged.

So dear readers, I have now edited away all their intellectual property and severed all relations with WebVee Guide. Before I edited this blog post, 163 of my readers looked at it. I wonder how many went to WebVee Guide to check it out?

However, before I edited this page I actually waited 2 days. I sent them an email that tried to explain how they misinterpreted and mischaracterized my actions. When I didn't hear back I agreed to cut all ties. And, that's where we are now.

I note they still have me listed as a contributor. So far I have received no hits from it.

I have had some weird relationships with publications in my 40+ years as a professional writer, but this is right up near the top.

A Tribute To Fats Waller ► A Musical Appreciation

2013-05-21T09:49:00.002-04:00

If Fats Waller had only written "Honeysuckle Rose" he would have been famous. If Fats Waller had only written "Ain't Misbehavin'" he would have been famous. If Fats Waller had only written "Squeeze Me" he would have been famous. If Fats Waller had only written "Jitterbug Waltz" he would have been famous. If Fats Waller had only written "(What Did I Do to Be So) Black and Blue" he would have been famous.

Celebrating the joyous birthday of the greatest Stride piano player this country ever produced. Thomas "Fats" Waller was born on May 21, 1904, and died at the young age of 39. Yet in his time he copyrighted more than 400 tunes. He made money off some of them. Others he sold off cheap when he was hurting for cash. Some he lost completely. According to the WikiWackyWoo:

Waller composed many novelty tunes in the 1920s and 1930s and sold them for relatively small sums. When the compositions became hits, other songwriters claimed them as their own. Many standards are alternatively and sometimes controversially attributed to Waller. Waller's son Maurice wrote in his 1977 biography of his father, that once he was playing "I Can't Give You Anything but Love, Baby" when he heard his father complaining from upstairs and came down and admonished him never to play that song in his hearing, saying that he had to sell that song when he needed some money. He even made a recording of it in 1938 with Adelaide Hall who, coincidentally, had introduced the song to the world (at Les Ambassadeurs Club in New York in 1928), in which he played the tune but made fun of the lyrics.[2] Likewise, Maurice noted his father's objections whenever he heard "On the Sunny Side of the Street" played on the radio.[3]

Fats had been taught to play piano by the great James P. Johnson. Johnson was 10 years older and had practically invented Stride piano (often mistakenly called Ragtime piano). He got Fats his first piano roll and recording gigs and they became good friends. However, even Johnson admitted the student had surpassed the teacher.

As a great a piano player Fats was, his favourite instrument was the pipe organ. His father was a preacher and, after taking up the piano at 6, Fats started playing organ in the church at the age of 10. Later he played organ during the silent movies. Once he had gained a bit of fame he was allowed to record syncopated Jazz on the pipe organ, both solo and with "his Rhythm," the name of his 5 and 6 man combos.

Recording a Jazz group that had a pipe organ as a lead instrument proved to be a technical challenge. It was during the days before electronic microphones had been invented. Performers had to be carefully arranged around a horn, from quietest to loudest, to balance the sound properly. A pipe organ is LOUD! So loud that the recording equipment and Fats' band had to be on the opposite side of a cavernous room from the pipe organ. That presented a new problem. A slight delay due to the speed of sound caused havoc with the syncopated rhythms. Only the supreme musicianship of "his Rhythm" was able to overcome that challenge. I am most excited by the organ music that Fats recorded.

Sadly Fats Waller made few movies. His over-sized personality and mugging were just perfect for motion pictures, as these two clips attest:

However, the times being what they were, there was not a lot of call for Black performers in the Hollywood of the '30s and '40s.

Having said all that, maybe it's a good thing that Fats Waller didn't live to his 50s or 60s. I often think of how painful it must have been for Louis Armstrong, accused of being an Uncle Tom during the Civil Rights Era because he felt that putting on an entertaining performance, which included Satchmo's trademark handkerchief and onstage mugging. However, no one mugged bigger and wider than Fats Waller. I doubt he would have escaped this criticism had he lived.

There are so many great songs and performances that I am having trouble putting together a representative Fats Waller jukebox. I have 515 Fats Waller MP3s, all from my own CD collection. As well, Spotify has identified 1,327 tunes for listening. However, I have tried to include some of his greatest tunes, both solo and band performances, with and without pipe organ. I also included a few interpretations of his music. Enjoy!

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An E.W.F. Stirrup House Shocker! ► Is Gino Falsetto Following The Rules?

2013-05-18T10:26:00.000-04:00

The dumpster on the property is finally legit, until August at least

Dateline May 17, 2013 - A quick visit to the E.W.F. Stirrup House produced something totally surprising.

For the last several years I have been documenting the dumpsters that come and go from the Stirrup property. Earlier this week I made special mention of the most recent dumpster, filled with what appeared to be refuse carted out from some restaurant renovation within the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums.

However, what do I discover when I arrive at the E.W.F. Stirrup House for my latest visit? Lo and behold: a permit for the dumpster. FINALLY!!! I have seen dozens of interchangeable dumpsters disappear, only to be replaced by an empty dumpster. However, this is the first time it has ever been permitted, literally, by the city.

Dumpster Still Life, May 17, 2013

It begs the question: Why? Did the city finally clue in to the fact that the Stirrup Family had been flagrantly breaking the law for the last several years?

TO BE FAIR: While Stirrup Properties, Inc. is the owner of the property on paper, it ceded effective control of the property to Aries Development, owned in part by Gino Falsetto. The Stirrup Family gave Aries a 50-year lease on the property. It's Aries who has allowed the property to turn into a garbage dump time and time again. However, whenever the property is cited for violations, it's the Stirrup family's company that gets its metaphorical hands slapped, not Falsetto's company. Cute, that.

I wonder if this means Aries Development will finally go to the city and get a building permit for the illegal, covert work that's been going on inside the E.W.F. Stirrup House since last August, at the very least.

Here is a series of pictures we'll call Dumpsters I Have Known: They were taken on various visits to Charles Avenue.

These are all separate and different dumpsters. There are still some 20 file directories filled with pictures of the E.W.F. Stirrup House, but I got bored looking for dumpsters.

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The Very First Academy Awards

2013-05-16T10:38:00.000-04:00

Dateline May 16, 1929 - The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences held the very first Academy Awards in the Blossom Room of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel.

Taking home the Academy Award -- it wasn't officially nicknamed Oscar until 1939 -- for Outstanding Picture (later known as Best Picture) was Wings, a silent World War One Gary CoG and Charles "Buddy" Rogers, with Gary Cooper in one of his earliest roles.

Unlike the Academy Awards of today, the 1929 awards -- honouring films from '27 and '28 -- was a private affair that cost $5 to attend, and that included dinner. The ceremony itself, hosted by swashbuckler Douglas Fairbanks, lasted a mere 15 minutes and is the only one not presented on radio or tee vee. Compare this to current glitzy Oscar telecasts that have to work hard to contain themselves to 3 hours, with dozens of awards given out at a lunch ceremony earlier.

Here is the 1929 Academy Award for Outstanding Picture:

There was also no drama about the 1st Academy Awards; winners had been announced 3 months earlier. Twelve Oscars statuettes were given out that night. Stolen directly from the WikiWackyWoo:

Nominees and winners of the 1st Academy Awards

Outstanding Picture	Unique and Artistic Production
Lucien Hubbard for Paramount Pictures – Wings Howard Hughes for Paramount Pictures – The Racket William Fox for Fox Film Corporation – Seventh Heaven	William Fox for Fox Film Corporation – Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack for Paramount Pictures – Chang: A Drama of the Wilderness Irving Thalberg for MGM – The Crowd
Best Director, Comedy Picture	Best Director, Dramatic Picture
Lewis Milestone – Two Arabian Knights Ted Wilde – Speedy	Frank Borzage – Seventh Heaven Herbert Brenon – Sorrell and Son King Vidor – The Crowd
Best Actor in a Leading Role	Best Actress in a Leading Role
Emil Jannings – The Last Command and The Way of All Flesh Richard Barthelmess – The Noose and The Patent Leather Kid	Janet Gaynor – Seventh Heaven, Street Angel and Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans Louise Dresser – A Ship Comes In Gloria Swanson – Sadie Thompson
Best Writing, Original Story	Best Writing, Adapted Story
Underworld – Ben Hecht The Last Command – Lajos Bíró	Seventh Heaven – Benjamin Glazer Glorious Betsy – Anthony Coldeway The Jazz Singer – Alfred A. Cohn
Best Cinematography	Best Art Direction
Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans – Charles Rosher and Karl Struss The Devil Dancer – George Barnes The Magic Flame – George Barnes Sadie Thompson – George Barnes	The Dove and Tempest – William Cameron Menzies Seventh Heaven – Harry Oliver Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans – Rochus Gliese
Best Engineering Effects	Best Writing, Title Writing
Wings – Roy Pomeroy (No specific film) – Ralph Hammeras (No specific film) – Nugent Slaughter	(No specific film) – Joseph Farnham (No specific film) – George Marion, Jr. The Private Life of Helen of Troy – Gerald Duffy

The Latest Visit to the E.W.F. Stirrup House

2013-05-15T12:27:00.000-04:00

The E.W.F. Stirrup House on May 14, 2013

Dateline May 14, 2013 - It's almost a nervous tic. Anytime I am near Coconut Grove, I visit the E.W.F. Stirrup House and take new pictures.

Yesterday, after dropping a friend off at the Miami airport, I drove the 7 miles to Charles Avenue. The latest pictures reveal is that nothing has been done to the E.W.F. Stirrup House since the meeting of the Charles Avenue Historic Preservation Committee on the 27th of February. At the time I wrote:

Yesterday a crew was cleaning up the Stirrup property by removing the vines and bushes that had grown all over the back of the house. This blog has documented how the property becomes an unruly garbage dump between citations from the City of Miami. The property is always cleaned up before fines are levied. Then it's allowed to slowly fall into disarray until the next city inspector posts a citation on the property about all the garbage, weeds, and graffiti. Despite occasional landscaping, the vast Westerfield Archives has several year's worth of pictures that prove these bushes and vines have never been cleared away. This was not just another minor clean-up.

Could it be that Gino Falsetto realized that eyes would be on the E.W.F. Stirrup House again this week because of the Charles Avenue Historic Preservation meeting? After 8 years of inactivity, is it possible that Falsetto wants to be able to say at Wednesday's meeting "Things are happening," only to let it slid into disarray until the next time it gets cleaned up?

The E.W.F. Stirrup House on May 14th,
showing the damage caused by the last cleanup

I must be The Amazing Kreskin. What I predicted came to pass at the Charles Avenue Historical Preservation Committee meeting when an angry reporter (me) wondered why nothing had been done to the property in the 8 years Falsetto has had effective control of it. The representative of Gino Falsetto on the preservation committee jumped in by citing all the recent landscaping work that had been done. As I was about to ask a follow-up, and point out that the recent landscaping had actually damaged the side of the house, the chair of the meeting shut me down by saying the committee was looking forward, not backward. Since I was merely an invited meeting observer, and not a member of the committee, I held my tongue. However, I was angry that 8 years of neglect was being swept under the rug.

Still Life With Dishwashers, May 8, 2013

I must be The Amazing Kreskin. Another part of my prediction has also come to pass. Absolutely nothing's been done since that meeting. Well, that's not entirely true. Someone finally figured out how to close the lower windows on the side of the house. This is actual progress, since they have been open to the elements for many years. However, that's it!!! The upper windows are still open to the daily Florida rainstorm.

I must be The Amazing Kreskin. The third part of my prediction has also come to fruition: the property has, once again, slid back into being a garbage dump. A seemingly never-ending series of dumpsters come and go. Last week it was filled with several dishwashers, clearly the result of a renovation inside the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums. However, there's no telling where and what the work might be because, as usual, I can find no building permits displayed anywhere. However, it's safe to assume that it's one of Gino Falsetto's restaurants on the ground floor of the Grove Gardens Residence Condominiums. He has three: The Taurus Bar, Calamari, and La Bottega by Carmen Trigueros. That's right! Chef Carmen's got her name right in the name of the restaurant for added pretentiousness.

Meanwhile, where are the promised renovations for the E.W.F. Stirrup House? Gino Falsetto has had more than 8 years to do something, ANYTHING, to the E.W.F. Stirrup House. It's time for the community to rise up and find a way to abrogate the 50-year lease Gino Falsetto holds on the E.W.F. Stirrup property. He's shown himself to be a terrible steward of a precious 120-year old Coconut Grove historical resource. He continues to allow the house to undergo Demolition by Neglect.

Those who allowed him to get his rapacious hands on this family heirloom need to find a way to get it back in order to honour the legacy of E.W.F. Stirrup and the original Bahamians who built Coconut Grove.

The only legacy being honoured today is that of rapacious developers. Might as well put up a statue to Gino Falsetto because, according to this website, he is the Master of everything at the east end of Charles Avenue and wants to create his own legacy, Le Coco Suprême. According to this anonymous author, who links to my blog quite often:

Map that accompanies the allegations: Legend: 1 = Playhouse,
2 & 3 = Vacant Lots, 4 = E.W.F. Stirrup House, 5 = Grove Garden
Residences Condominium 6 = Regions Bank, 7 & 8 = Vacant Lots,
9 = 2-Unit Residence, I = Bridge across Charles Avenue

This monster complex — dubbed Le Coco Suprême — will be the largest multi-use condominium complex in all of Florida: a 5.6 acre multi-use condo complex, the biggest Heafey and Falsetto have ever carried out here and in Canada. They want it to be their crowning achievement. It will dwarf what Heafey has done in Quebec. (In comparison, Cocowalk within walking distance up the street is 2.18 acres.)

The plan entails a 960-unit residential condo, a 360-room hotel, 200,000 sq.ft. retail space, 4 restaurants, a movie-theater complex, a gym, a bowling alley or ice skating rink, 3,800 space high-rise garage to also serve the downtown Grove, a bank (Regions), a Bed & Breakfast in the E.W.F. Stirrup House, a remodeled, brand-new miniature Goconut Grove Playhouse, and the current Grove Garden Residences multi-use condo complex. A bridge over Charles Avenue will connect everything. The high-rise garage will be on the north side (closest to downtown for access to all Coconut Grove downtown visitors) with an arcade of shops at street level facing Main Highway.

If that's true one of the few things standing in the way of his plan to erect another MONSTER condo complex, is the E.W.F. Stirrup House.

SAVE THE E.W.F. STIRRUP HOUSE!!!

Johnny Carson's Last Tee Vee Appearance ► Another Magical Tee Vee Moment

2013-05-13T09:33:00.001-04:00

Johnny Carson got his start in Show Biz as a magician

Dateline May 13, 1994 - Johnny Carson makes his last tee vee appearance ever, fittingly on David Letterman's show.

Carson was a tee vee institution for over 30 years. While other people hosted the Tonight Show both before and after him, Carson will always be the gold standard against which all others are judged. Carson retired from his show on May 22, 1992.

Johnny Carson always felt that David Letterman was the natural heir to the Tonight Show seat and was sorely disappointed that the show was given to Jay Leno instead. "Some people say" that's why Carson declined to appear in NBC's 75th Anniversary Special. "Other people say" that Carson never forgave NBC for destroying all the early Tonight Shows to make shelf room for newer shows. It very well could have been both.

Either way, it's so appropriate that Carson's last appearance was on Letterman's show, almost 2 years to years to the day after his retirement. Letterman sprung Carson's appearance as a surprise and the audience gave him a sustained standing ovation. After waiting out the applause for a while, Carson left the stage without saying a word. It looked like he had some lines, which he decided not to deliver at the last minute because anything he said would be an anti-climax. Remember: Carson was the master of Show Biz Timing™. Later Carson said he pulled his Marcel Marceau act due to acute laryngitis. This clip makes it clear he was going to say something.

This was one of the rare post-retirement appearances Carson made on tee vee, and the very last. On January 23, 2005 Johnny Carson died of respiratory failure from emphysema at the age of 79. After his death David Letterman did a Johnny Carson tribute show, which included an entire monologue written by Carson. It turned out that Carson regularly faxed jokes to the Letterman show just for the thrill of having then delivered on air.

Johnny Carson was the Comedian's Comedian to the very end.

Here's David Letterman's tribute show to Johnny Carson:

Bob Dylan Walks Out On Ed Sullivan

2013-05-12T11:11:00.001-04:00

Dateline May 12, 1963 - Back in the day you couldn't really say you were in Show Biz unless you had appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show. As much as Bob Dylan was known as a Protest singer, he still craved Show Biz legitimacy. That's why he allowed himself to be booked on the Sullivan Show on this day in 1963. However, always the contrarian, Dylan walked off the show before he was to appear.

Ed Sullivan was a Tee Vee institution. Beginning in 1948 as Toast of the Town, his show ran for 23 seasons -- 22 of them in the same Sunday night time slot of 8PM. Entire families would gather around the only tee vee set in the house and watch one of the only 3 tee vee networks in existence. The Sullivan Show had something for everyone in the entire family. It was a variety show, in the Vaudevillian tradition; a solo singer might be followed by a ventriloquist, who was followed by a plate spinner, with a Big Band performance next, to be followed by a comedian, and then, maybe, wrapped up with a scene from a Broadway musical. In a classic example of Art imitating Life, this "Hymn for a Sunday Evening," from "Bye Bye Birdie," sums up the importance of an appearance on the Sullivan show.

In '63 Dylan was just an up-and-coming singer/songwriter, barely known outside the small, cultish world of Folk enthusiasts. If people knew him at all it was from Peter, Paul and Mary's cover version of Blowin' in the Wind. His 2nd LP, The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, with his own version of "Blowin' In The Wind," was just days away from being released. A Sullivan appearance would have been a huge boost to Dylan's career and fame. However, according to the Official Ed Sullivan Show webeteria:

Bob Dylan was slated to make his first nationwide television appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show on May 12, 1963. For the show, Dylan decided to perform “Talkin’ John Birch Paranoid Blues”, a satirical blues number skewering the conservative John Birch Society and the red-hunting paranoia associated with it. A few days earlier, Bob Dylan auditioned the song for Ed Sullivan who seemed to have no issue with it. However, on the day of the show during the dress rehearsal, an executive from the CBS Standards and Practices department decided Dylan could not perform the song due to its controversial nature. When the show’s producer, Bob Precht, informed Dylan of the decision, Dylan responded saying, “No; this is what I want to do. If I can’t play my song, I’d rather not appear on the show.” Rather than choose a new song to perform or change the lyrics (as the Rolling Stones and the Doors on Ed Sullivan would agree to do), a young Bob Dylan walked off the set of the country’s highest-rated variety show.

The story got widespread media attention in the days that followed helping to establish Dylan’s public reputation as an uncompromising artist. The publicity Bob Dylan received from this event probably did more for his career than the actual Ed Sullivan Show performance would have. Unfortunately, this leaves us with no performance footage of Bob Dylan on The Ed Sullivan Show.

Here's a live version of "Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues," which Dylan introduces by saying, "And, there ain't nothing wrong with this song."

No wonder they didn't want the song performed on the show. In 1963 "Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues" would have still been politically explosive. However, Ed Sullivan was a known control freak, who had his fingers in every aspect of his show. It's hard to believe he wasn't part of this decision, if not the instigator. An alternative theory is that Sullivan found the song a bit too far for his family audience, but wanted to come off as Mr. Nice Guy, so he told Bob Precht to deliver the bad news to Dylan. Blaming the CBS Standards and Practices office was probably just Standard Operating Procedure at the time.

Regardless of who made the decision, it resulted in Dylan's "boot heels to be wandering."

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To West Coconut Grove's Continued Health

2013-05-07T11:49:00.001-04:00

May 6, 2013 - Community Health of South Florida cut the ribbon on its spanking new Coconut Grove Health Center.

It was quite the celebration at 3831 Grand Avenue in West Grove as a tent -- offering food and drink -- was set up on the patio outside the state-of-the-art facility. The CGHC will offer comprehensive medical care on a sliding scale based on income and need.

It wasn't all that long ago that the Helen B. Bentley Family Health Center had to close after 40 years of operation, serving some of Coconut Grove's neediest folks. With so many thousands left in the lurch, the federal government awarded CHI a grant to open the Grand Avenue facility, as well as one on Sunset Drive in South Miami in June. Accordiing to Brodes Hartley, Jr., CHI President, "In these tough economic times we see a lot of people who simply do not have the money to seek medical attention and that shouldn't be the case. There are times that some people can't even pay the $25 co-pay and se still provide them with top quality care."

Here's to your health, Coconut Grove!

Panorama looking east along Grand Avenue towards Douglas, with the Coconut Grove Health Center on the left

A panorama of the festivities.

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The First Three Stooges ► Nostalgia Ain't What It Used To Be

2013-05-05T09:19:00.000-04:00

Above: Larry, Moe and Curly, not necessarily in that order.

Dateline May 5, 1934 - The Three Stooges release their first short "Woman Haters" and nothing was ever the same again.

The Three Stooges made more than 190 two-reelers over a 26 year period, but they started in the knockabout world of Vaudeville. Ted Healy was already a hit in Vaudeville when, in 1922, he took on new actors for his stageshow. Among them was Moe Howard, a childhood friend that had appeared, briefly, in the earlier act Ted Healy and his Southern Gentlemen.

Moe's job was to act as an average audience member who is called onstage. Hilarity ensues. The showbiz term for this stock character was "stooge." Soon Shemp, who was Moe's real life brother, and Larry Fine joined the act. They appeared with Healy in one short, "Soup To Nuts." but after a dispute over the movie contract, Larry, Moe and Shemp went solo, or as solo as a trio can go. They also took with them some of the material they had performed with Healy.

Intellectual property rights being intellectual property rights, Healey sued. However, he lost. As it turned out the material was owned by the show's producer, the Shubert Theatre Corporation, which gave the Stooges the right to perform it.

The Three Stooges then had a brief rapprochement with Healy and were to appear together in a new Shubert production. However, when Healy got a better offer, he quit the show, taking Two Stooges with him; Shemp, who had threatened to quit previously, finally decided to pack it in. In need of a third Stooge, Moe suggested his younger brother. Jerry Howard joined the act as Curly.

Healy and the Stooges signed a contract with MGM in 1933 and made a number of shorts. When that contract expired a year later The Three Stooges split from Healy for good. Soon afterwards they signed with Columbia and released "Woman Haters," the first official Three Stooges short

Growing up I watched a lot of Three Stooges in my time, but I don't recall ever seeing this one. It's all done in rhyme and song, all 20 minutes of it. There's no way they could carry that over 2 2-reelers, let alone 190. Enjoy:

Not Now Silly

And Still More Notes From The Road

More Notes From The Road

Notes From The Road

The Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day

Les Paul ► The Man Who Made Rock and Roll Possible

Happy Birthday Frank Lloyd Wright

John and Yoko and Frank and Flo and Eddie

Elvis Scandalizes 'Merka ► Another Magical Tee Vee Moment

When the picture is sideways

Preparing for the Road Trip

Happy Birthday Chuck Barris

Unpacking The Writer ► Hits and Misses

Book Review: Shell Shocked by Howard Kaylan with Jeff Tamarkin

The Sunrise to Canton Road Trip For Research

The Day I Met Keith Emerson ► Nostalgia Ain't What It Used To Be

The Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day

Further reading on Now Now Silly

Several more instances of The Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day

Is Johnny Dollar The World's Biggest Hypocrite? ******

UPDATED: WebVee Guide ► Fun While It Lasted

A Tribute To Fats Waller ► A Musical Appreciation

An E.W.F. Stirrup House Shocker! ► Is Gino Falsetto Following The Rules?

The Very First Academy Awards

Nominees and winners of the 1st Academy Awards

Further reading at Not Now Silly

The Latest Visit to the E.W.F. Stirrup House

Further reading at Not Now Silly

Johnny Carson's Last Tee Vee Appearance ► Another Magical Tee Vee Moment

Further Reading at Not Now Silly

Last Tonight Show with Johnny Carson ► Day In History I've Got A Secret ► Another Magical Tee Vee MomentAndy Kaufman ► Another Magical Tee Vee Moment ******

Bob Dylan Walks Out On Ed Sullivan

To West Coconut Grove's Continued Health

The First Three Stooges ► Nostalgia Ain't What It Used To Be

Further reading at Not Now Silly:

Is Johnny Dollar The World's Biggest Hypocrite?

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Last Tonight Show with Johnny Carson ► Day In History
I've Got A Secret ► Another Magical Tee Vee Moment
Andy Kaufman ► Another Magical Tee Vee Moment

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