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Hey Nina.

What should I do when I have a girl that was talking to another dude but was talking to me too. They stopped talking and she started to lead me on. but at work I saw them talking and got suspicious. I found out that she’s talking to one of my co-workers. she states that she never liked me but she met my family and I really thought that me and her had something. I really fell for her but she doesn’t feel the same. What should I do?

-JT

Hi JT.,
Firstly, I want to say that I’m sorry that you feel heartbroken.  I understand exactly how it feels to be rejected by someone that you have strong feelings for and care about deeply. I know that you feel powerless at this very moment. However, I want you to know that you have far more power than you know.

Now, let me answer your question. As a third party looking at your situation, I can see a lot of poor decisions that you made that are now causing your pain.
From my understanding, it sounds like you and this girl never established a “relationship” beyond casual dating and conversation. Sure, you acted as a “couple” and did things that couples do, i.e. introducing her to your family. However, you didn’t talk with her to define the parameters of your relationship. That, my friend, was your biggest mistake.

Your lack of communication caused a lot of confusion for you. You may feel that she led you on. However, she might see the situation differently.
From my perception of the situation, you assumed that because she was no longer involved with the other guy, she wanted to be with you. You expected her to act as your girlfriend with no verbal agreement from her. You put your heart on the line in a big way without any guarantee that she felt the same way about you.

You knew that you had strong feelings for this girl. Why didn’t you tell her about your feelings for her and discuss having an exclusive, monogamous relationship in the beginning? You should have stood up for your heart by at least having a 10 minute conversation with her on where things were going. From what I gathered, she was and still is not looking for a serious relationship in the least. If you had talked to her, you would have understood where she was coming from and been able to cut your losses before you bet the farm.

Now you are here, hurting and distraught.
So, JT., here’s what I think you should do:

1.    Take RESPONSIBILITY for your part in this situation. You made assumptions and did not communicate your feelings.  You took it upon yourself to give someone rights in your life that did not prove being worthy of those rights in the first place.

Acknowledge that you should have taken the opportunity to communicate with her that you wanted a commitment, but did not have the courage to do so. If you don’t take responsibility for this situation, you may well continue to set yourself up for heartbreak in the future.

2.    Cut all contact with her, unless both of your jobs ABSOLUTELY depend on it. And even here, keep contact to a bare minimum. I mean only speak to her if your job is on the line. Don’t ask her for a pen, hoping this will lead into a conversation. LEAVE HER ALONE!  That also means no calling, no texting, no Facebook. Cut her out completely!

If you must speak with her (like you will be handed a pink slip if you don’t), be as cordial, courteous and brief as possible. Don’t linger around expecting her to fall in love with you. It’s not going to happen. Don’t allow yourself to be used by her. She seems like she is selfish and is only looking out for herself. Believe me, she will take advantage of you if the opportunity presents itself.

3.    Begin to heal your heartbreak by loving yourself. I believe that if you had loved yourself enough, you would have been able to respect yourself enough to lay everything out and either be in a committed relationship with her or move on.

You have to love yourself. Really, this is the most important thing that you should do. You cannot understand how to love and receive love from someone else without knowing how to love yourself first.

Of course you are going to ask me, “How do I love myself?” Well, that is quite a complicated process. The first thing I would do would be to set aside a little bit of time for myself everyday and get to know myself on a deeper level. I would ask myself questions about my goals and where my life is headed and build from there. 15 minutes a day is all it takes to begin to love yourself. Focusing on being a better person is definitely one of the best ways to love yourself.

The above three steps are the most important things you can do to begin to get over your heartbreak. As you know, this is all a difficult process. You have to let go of your feelings for this girl and move on with your life. I really don’t see her changing her feeling for you anytime soon. And if she does, I think you are worth more than she can give you.

Lastly, I offer this advice for the future. Whenever you meet a new girl, before you invest yourself emotionally into the relationship, make sure that you both are on the same page with where things are going. Have the courage to have the “talk” with her and let her know how you are feeling and what kind of relationship you expect to have with her. This will ensure that you don’t get hurt.

Love is a risky game. Whenever you invite people into your life, make sure that you know clearly what their intentions are with you. Ask questions and be vigilant with getting the answers. Sometimes, the answers are not what you want to hear. Then again, wouldn’t you rather hear the truth and make a choice based on that which can save you from the grief of heartbreak. I know I would.

You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you and want to be with only you.

If she is not ready to settle down with only you, then she just is not the one. Plain and simple. Don’t invest your time, energy and emotions into someone who is not willing to, at a minimum, give you the same in return. It’s not worth getting your heart broken.

I hope that this helps you and that you feel better soon. My hope is that this situation doesn’t leave you bitter about love. There is someone out there who will love you as much as you love them. You just have to love yourself first!

~Here’s to your healing,
Nina

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

Q & A: Help!! My Co-worker Broke My Heart is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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I’m Ready To Move On, But How Do You Get Over A Break Up?

You are at the point where you are at your wit’s end, where you feel that it is time to get it together and finally move on, the point where you know you can no longer hold on for dear life. You are tired of suffering. You are tired of the sleepless nights, your mind constantly racing, and the anguish of heartbreak. You want all of this to be over with and are ready to reclaim your life.

That’s the turning point. That’s a great place to be.

Once you are at this turning point, you have to make a decision to actively seek to get over a break up. The answer to “How do you get over a break up?” is that you have to take positive action.

Most times, we go about this the wrong way. We continue to call our ex, take lousy advice from people who have no idea what we are going through, and worst of all, we blame and beat ourselves up miserably. These are the WRONG kind of actions to take!

I want to enlighten you a bit about what you need to do to get over a break up. I want you to know what you can do right now to get on track to get over your break up.

But first, I have to break down a HUGE LIE that’s been told to you. In order to get to a place of healing, you have to realize what this lie is and understand how the truth will empower you to get over a break up.

The Biggest Lie Told About Your Break Up: Time Is Really Not On Your Side!

The most common advice given to people who are dealing with a break up is: “Time heals all wounds.” Everyone seems to think this how you get over a break up.

Well, I going to tell you that I think this is by far the worst advice someone could ever give you!

Time heals all wounds is the biggest crock of bull I’ve ever heard. And guess what? You will probably get this advice ad nauseum when you are going through a break up.

This saying is missing a huge requirement, which is ACTION. You must, must, must, take action in order to completely get over a break up. No action=no progress! That’s how it works. So, if you take action in that “time”, you will get over a break up and move on with your life.  If you don’t, your time will be consumed with pain and bitterness.

We all know at least one person that suffered through a terrible break up. The break up might have happened one year ago, even five, 10, or 30 years ago. And guess what? They are still not over that person. Sure, they might have “moved on” in the time since. They might have even gotten married. But, deep down, they still feel the pain of that heartbreak and it has colored all of their experiences, especially concerning relationships, in a negative light. They didn’t take the right actions.

Don’t be that person.

Everyone suffering through a break up at one point wishes they could snap their fingers and fall out of love. It’s not that simple, but you can SNAP yourself onto the right path to get over a break up.

How Do You Get Over A Break Up With SNAP?

SNAP is designed to put you on the right path to healing and getting over a break up. It’s about getting you to take small, doable actions that will give you the momentum to move past this break up and move on with your life.

Breaking Down SNAP:

S= Shift Your Focus

Whatever you focus on becomes a big force in your life. If you are constantly focusing on your pain from the break up, that is what your life will become, painful.

Don’t focus on your break up.  Instead choose to focus on what you want to happen, which is you finding your happiness and moving on with your life, however that may be possible for you.  What I mean is that, sometimes your happiness may not be found by getting back together with your ex. This may be a painful concept to digest. Why should you spend the rest of your life being unhappy with someone who is unhappy with you? You shouldn’t, so move on.

N= Navigate Your Emotional Turbulence

Whenever you go through a break up, you are bound to deal with an onslaught of emotional residue from your relationship. Your emotions may gang up on you and have you more confused than ever. One minute you are extremely sad and depressed and the next minute you are angry as hell and want to beat the crap out of someone.

Your emotions may get the best of you if you do not know how to handle them. Start by acknowledging what you are feeling at the moment you feel it. Then, try to get to the root cause of that very emotion. Slowly peel back the layers of the emotion. Accept it and move forward.

If you are angry, for example, ask yourself: “Where is this anger coming from?” Is it coming from the way your relationship ended, or how your ex treated you in the relationship? Seek to find the source of your anger and then, allow yourself to really feel your anger. Don’t run from it or stuff it down because it will only make things worse. Afterwards, accept that you feel angry and redirect you emotions to a more positive one.

Learn how to deal with your emotions properly or your emotions will deal with you.

A= Awareness of Your Actions

You need to become aware of your actions, especially the ones that inflict more pain. That is, constantly calling and texting your ex, looking at their Facebook page to see what they are up to and who they are seeing now.  Stop torturing yourself. You’re just prolonging your pain and making things worse for yourself.

I strongly advise that you apply the no contact rule. Leave your ex alone. Trust me, if they wanted to be with you, they would.

P=Patience for Progress

I want you to be very gentle with yourself during this process. And with that, I want you to be patient with your progress. We live in an instant gratification society. Everyone wants everything now, if not yesterday. I know, you want to be over your break up and heartbreak, however, when you rush yourself, there is a tendency to overlook truly taking care of yourself.

Evaluate your progress day by day. Congratulate yourself whenever you take a step in the right direction. But, don’t beat yourself up if you fall off track. Acknowledge that you’ve made a small misstep and get back on track. Everything positive act counts ten times more than any mistake that you may make.

Final Thoughts

How Do You Get Over A Break Up? Take Continuous Positive Action!

I am very happy that you are at your turning point concerning your break up.  If you are committed to taking positive actions and follow through with the intention to be happy again, you can emerge from this heartbreak more powerful than ever.

Believe it or not, this is a critical time to decide that you will rise to the challenge of getting over your break up. Take action now.

It’s now or never. I believe that you can do it!

~Here’s To Your Healing!

How do you get over a break up

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

The Turning Point: How Do You Get Over A Break Up? is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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Getting Over A Broken Heart Just Got A Little Bit Easier!

Everyone has a different philosophy on getting over a broken heart. Most people don’t even realize they have so much power literally in their hands right now.

What if I told you that there is a simple tool that is available to anyone right now that will help you move in the right direction with getting over a broken heart? I guarantee that this one tool will totally change how you begin to heal after heartbreak.

Have you guessed what it is?

Well, it’s a journal!

That’s right. A journal is by far one of the simplest, yet powerful tools that you can use right now for getting over a broken heart.

You don’t have to have a formal journal. You can use a spiral-bound notebook, a legal writing pad, heck, even the back of a napkin. The point is that you use the best way to help you gather your thoughts and emotions on paper.

The Top Reasons Why A Journal Is A Great Tool For Getting Over A Broken Heart

1)    Your journal is private and will not judge you.

The best thing about writing in a journal is that your thoughts and emotions remain private. You don’t have to show anyone your journal and you don’t have to worry about your personal, intimate reflections being blasted around the world.

Also, with a journal, there are no judgments. This is not your high school English class. You can express yourself the way you feel like doing so and no one can say anything about it. The last thing you want when getting over a broken heart is to be judged.

This process is for you alone and nothing feels freer than knowing that you are able to express yourself without having to justify those emotions to anyone.

2)    You can be honest with yourself.

If you want to end the misery of getting over a broken heart, you have to be willing to face your honesty. There is no greater way of doing so than journaling.

In your journal, you can knock the walls down. You don’t have to censor yourself. You can speak your truth no matter how scary it may feel. This will put you on the right path to getting over a broken heart.

Be brutally honest with yourself. Put everything you have into your journal, even the parts about yourself that feel scary. The results you receive will be well worth it.

3)    You can keep track of the progress you make.

With a journal, you will have some way of keeping record of your progress in the journey of getting over a broken heart.

You may not think that this is important. However, I assure you that it is.

I kept a journal while I was going through the healing process.  Sometimes it felt like I wasn’t making any progress at all. However, when I felt that way, I would look at some of my earlier entries and see the huge strides I had made. This allowed me to get through the toughest moments of my situation.

4)    You can ask the difficult questions and get the answers you need.

The best part about getting over a broken heart is that it drives you deeper inside yourself. There is nothing more powerful than self-examination and exploration.

A journal gives you the power to ask yourself the most difficult questions and find the answers to those questions.

Now these answers may not come instantly. Sometimes, you will have to constantly ask the questions over and over again. The answers may come slowly from different insights that you put together.

And when the answers come, do not over analyze them. Take them for what they are, get the lesson, and move on.

In my experience, I constantly questioned why I couldn’t make my relationships work.  When I started to peel back the layers and examine each situation I realized that the common denominator in all of my relationships was me.

What I found was that I didn’t realize my own worth and had expectations that my partner determine it for me.  I don’t think I could have come to that conclusion as quickly as I did if I didn’t use my journal.

Journaling is therapeutic and liberating. Journaling is effective, simple and the beauty is that you can get started right now.

Now that you know what this “magic” tool is, here is an exercise that you can do that you can do to get you started.

1)    Clear out the mental clutter by free writing for 10 minutes. Let you pen hit the paper and start writing whatever you are thinking at this very moment. Don’t let up for 10 minutes. Just see where your thoughts may lead you.

2)    Write a “Goodbye” letter to your ex. Write all the things you want to say, but haven’t got a chance. Curse, scream, say the nastiest things you can think of, the point is that you let it all out.

3)    Scribble, doodle, or draw your emotions instead of writing. Journaling doesn’t have to be about words. You can even take pictures with your camera and paste them in your journal. You can fill in the blank pages however you see fit.

4)    Write a song or poem about your experience in getting over a broken heart. You might find that you have a lot more creativity than you thought you had. You can pull inspiration from various sources and create a story about your heartbreak. It’s all up to you.

These are just suggestions. There are no guidelines or rules. Don’t seek perfection; just do what feels right to you. You can’t get it wrong. Getting over a broken heart is hard enough, so writing in your journal should be as easy as breathing for you.

You can write in your journal as often as you like. You don’t have to schedule a time. Mornings may be best for some people, while others write better before going to be. Journaling should not feel like a chore or something you “have to do”.  As long as you find some time to write at least once a week to receive the full benefits.

Final Thoughts

Getting over a broken heart may be difficult, but a journal can help lighten your load.

Journaling is a cathartic method that gives you your power back. It allows your voice to be heard because you can express your feelings, inner thoughts and opinions instead of bottling them up.  You can sort out this information and take actions that you may not have realized were available to you before.

Embrace this simple instrument. Don’t underestimate its power and don’t feel intimidated.  You may find that getting over a broken heart is actually easier than you think with the aid of a journal.

~Here’s To Your Healing!

Getting over a broken heart

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

The Simplest Tool For Getting Over A Broken Heart! is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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Should Your Have Sex With Your Ex? Think Again!

Sex with your ex can be tricky, especially if you still have feelings for you ex and are trying to move on from them.  After a breakup, there is a period of time when you want to rekindle those intimate feelings you and your ex share. You may think that having sex with your ex is not harmful to you and may help them feel closer to you again. You may be WRONG!

Sex With Your Ex Can Be Dangerous In Healing Heartbreak!

If you are trying to heal your broken heart, I would definitely reconsider having sex with your ex.  It will leave you powerless to them in the future and even help prolong your heartbreak.  Do you really want to continue giving your power over to your ex? I didn’t think so!

The Temptation That Leads You Down This Road

Having sex with your ex may seem like a natural thing to do. You are more comfortable with them.  There is a history there, so you feel uninhibited with them as opposed to having sex with someone new. The sex is a lot more gratifying because you already know how to please them and they know what it takes to please you.

Sex With You Ex Increases Your Emotional Bond, Which Decreases Healing

When you have sex, you are emotionally bonded to that person for about 14 days. Sexual intimacy can strengthen an already established emotional bond. If you are trying to move on from your old relationship, why would you want to make the task even harder? That’s like walking through the desert and then deciding to carry a backpack with a 50 lb weight in it. Having sex with your ex makes breaking the emotional bond you share 10 times harder.

Sex With Your Ex Doesn’t Change The Problems

Some relationship problems have nothing to do with the bedroom. While having sex with you ex can be comforting and familiar, it doesn’t fix the problems you had that led to your break up. It might help you break the ice to recover your relationship, but it will only temporarily allow you to get back together. Sex may momentarily burry your problems. But, know that they will find a way to come back up and you might break up again if you don’t know how to address the problems.

What If Your Ex Has Already Had Sex With Someone Else?

If you’ve been apart from you ex for a while, there’s a huge possibility that your ex has already had sex with someone else. You are potentially exposing yourself to STD’s. Be safe and protect yourself. You MUST use some form of contraceptive. No Glove, No Love!

Final Thoughts

If you do have sex with your ex, please consider the consequences of your actions.  Remember, sometimes (most times), sex is just sex. Don’t mistake having sex for any intentions of rekindling your relationship. Be on the same page as your ex when it comes to sex. Don’t be misled and don’t them false hope of getting back with you if that’s not what you want.  Be smart about this before you give into temptation. Having sex with your ex may cause you a whole lot more pain than pleasure.

~Here’s to your healing!

Sex with your ex

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

Sex With Your Ex:The Naked Truth is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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Don’t Stalk Your Ex:Use The No Contact Rule

The NO CONTACT Rule is hard to keep up especially right after a break up. You are used to talking to your ex several times a day and then suddenly, you are expected to cut off all contact. That’s just pure insanity! Never fear. There are a lot of things that you can do instead of stalking your ex through modern technology.

How To Get Started With The No Contact Rule Now!

Here is a simple list of five things that you can do right now or whenever you feel the urge to call you ex and beg them to come back:

1. Unlink Your Profiles And Delete All Contact Information

Literally, this can take all of 10 minutes to do, but can be one of the most helpful things in kicking off the No Contact rule. Nothing says out of sight, out of mind like changing your relationship status on Facebook to single.

2. Call A Friend Or Family Member

Play catch up with a friend or family member then next time you are tempted to dial your ex up. Find out what’s going on in their lives for once. This will give you a chance to think about someone other than your ex and your friend will think you are thoughtful and return the favor when you need it the most.

3. Workout  Or Take A walk Without Your Cell Phone

Distraction! Distraction! Distraction! You are going to need all the distractions you can when you are implementing the No Contact Rule in your life. Working out can be a darn good one because most times you will need full use of your hands and that means they can’t be clutched around your cell phone. Next time you feel like grabbing your phone and texting your ex, go for a walk and leave your cell phone behind.

4. Set Up A Special Silent Ringtone Or Block Your Ex’s Number From Coming In

You can change your ringtone for your ex if you don’t have the courage to completely delete them from your cell phone. Make their ringtone silent so that way when they call you, you will miss the call.

5. Relax

Turn off your phone and unplug your computer. Take the time to treat yourself with kindness and respect. Unwind as much as you possibly can. Use this time to focus on yourself and not on your ex. Take a bubble bath, read a book, or take a nap. Do something that you enjoy that doesn’t involve using any technology whatsoever.

Final Thoughts

The No Contact Rule Can Help You Heal Your Broken Heart

Most people struggle implementing the No CONTACT Rule after a break up because they don’t want to let go of their exes.  Some people would rather chop off an arm than go a day without communicating with their ex.  You must realize that if you truly want to heal your broken heart, you have to sever all ties with your ex right now. It may be painful at first, but in the long run, it will put you on the right path to moving on with your life.

~Here’s to your healing!

No Contact Rule

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

No Contact Rule:Five Things You Can Do Right Now Instead of Calling, Texting, or Cyber Stalking Your Ex is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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The post No Contact Rule:Five Things You Can Do Right Now Instead of Calling, Texting, or Cyber Stalking Your Ex appeared first on Heal Heartbreak Now!.

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“Nina, I Broke The No Contact Rule and I feel like a fool!”

My Friend called me up the other day.  I was able to talk her off of the ledge. I knew exactly how she felt and I knew she would need some insight and comforting because she was beating herself up badly.  But not that long ago, I was in the same position she’s in and I bet you’re there right now too. Don’t worry. You are not alone and I will share with you what I did when I broke the No Contact Rule.

I Broke The No Contact Rule Too! So What! (Please Don’t Judge Me!)

I’ve always prided myself for having strong will power. If I was on a diet, I was always able to say no to that chocolate cake after dinner. I mean, you are talking to the will power queen. But I found myself reaching for the phone and texting my ex every hour on the hour just to say “Hi” after we broke up. I could not control myself. I knew about the No Contact Rule. I knew I wasn’t supposed to call him, but I felt compelled to do so. I mean, I was used to calling the man first thing in the morning!

What I had to realize was that I was going to fail the No Contact Rule if every time I sent him a text I beat myself up. When you make a big deal about something small, it tends to take control of your life. I mean, whatever you resist will persist.

What I Did When I Broke The No Contact Rule For The 27^th Time (No, Seriously, 27 times!)

The first thing I did was accept the fact that applying this rule was going to be hard. I also had to accept that just because I gave in at a moment of weakness did not make me a weak person. I was and still am a strong person. And so are you. I learned to gradually phase in the No Contact Rule.  I couldn’t go cold turkey and quit my habit of calling and texting him, but I could limit the amount of times I did it in one day. That allowed me to build my tolerance to just a few times a week. Then, one day I sent out my final text message and I was done for good.

Final Thoughts

I broke the No Contact Rule when I first applied it too and I was still able to get over my ex. Don’t beat yourself up if you break it. Be gentle with yourself. It takes time getting used to not hearing from someone you normally talk to a million times a day.  Figure out what works best for you and apply it. Gradually, you will become more and more independent from contacting your ex and one day you will wake up without feeling the need to call them ever again. I know because I’ve been there and I believe that you can get there too. I broke the no contact rule and I’m not ashamed to say I did!

~Here’s To Your Healing!

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

I Broke The No Contact Rule! Now What? is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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Getting rid of your ex’s stuff can be difficult for you because it signifies the end of your relationship. After a break up, it is important that you get rid of all things that remind you of your ex. These little reminders can keep you trapped in the clutches of heartbreak.  You want to do this as soon and as quickly as you possibly can after your break up. The faster you can remove your ex from you external surroundings, the better.

What To Give Back

Give back all their sentimental items. Yes, you might feel the urge to throw them in a huge backyard bonfire. However, would you like it if they took your favorite childhood teddy bear and backed over it with a tractor trailer? No, you wouldn’t! So be nice and send them back all of the items that mean the most to them.

This includes: collectible items, childhood toys, baby pictures and pictures of family members, and items they might need for work or school.

You can make arrangements with your ex to trade stuff, if you feel that you are able to handle the contact. If you can’t bear seeing them right now, send them a quick email or text explaining that you will be shipping their items and for them to do the same. Be as mature about this as you possibly can.

What To Trash

Throw out the toiletries that they left at your place when they used to spend the night. Trash the toothbrush, razor, hair goop and all the stuff that they can easily replace with a trip to Wal-Mart or the drugstore. This stuff just reminds you that you will now be spending your nights alone.

Just don’t go overboard. Do throw away your dishes because she used to cook for you and you ate a lot of romantic dinners on them. Throw away their stuff and not your own, unless you don’t mind buying brand new house wares.

What To Keep

You can keep the photos and love letters that they wrote you for now. Just don’t keep them out in the open. You can gently place them in a keepsake box if you wish and put it all the way in the recesses of your closet. Keep things that generate good feelings about your ex and your relationship. You know the reminders of the good times you had with your ex. One day, when you are completely over your ex, you may decide that you want to get rid of these things. But for now, knowing that you can cherish these keepsakes when you absolutely need to may comfort you.

Final Thoughts

Getting rid of your ex’s belongings doesn’t have to be a big “to-do”. Once you are finished purging your ex’s stuff, you can begin to let go of your ex emotionally. Take it one step at a time. Start by packing up what you want to give back and go from there. You can do it!

~Here’s to your healing!

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

Getting Rid of Your Ex’s Stuff…Why You Don’t Have A Choice! is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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After your heart has been broken, you will experience a decline in your self-esteem or a completely demolished sense of confidence.  You need a confidence makeover fast! There are some easy things that you can do to boost your confidence without breaking a sweat.

Having confidence is an important trait in healing your heartbreak. With confidence, courage, and faith, you can overcome any obstacle that is in your way.

Simply Smile and Laugh Often

This is absolutely the best place to start with rebuilding your confidence after heartbreak! Smiling and laughing are free and the simplest thing you can do to not only change your life, but become more confident. There is nothing sexier than a confident smile. A smile can easily lift your spirits and is scientifically proven to relieve stress by allowing your brain to produce endorphins. Laughter is the best medicine for low self-esteem and best of all, it’s free.  Smiling and laughing can boost your confidence by making you feel good.  And when you feel good, you do well.

Change One Bad Habit

Stop smoking. Stop biting your nails. Stop fidgeting. Confident people know there are positive ways to channel negative energy. When you are nervous or feeling anxious, take a few deep breaths. Take a walk. Do something that is positively constructive whenever you are nervous and you will seem completely confident no matter the situation.

Correct Your Posture

Stand tall when you walk and don’t slouch. Confidence is an energy that you exude and standing tall projects to other people that you feel good about yourself. Keep your head held high. Not only does it make other people notice you, but studies show that looking up can immediately improve your mood. Confident people seem to naturally be a good mood and this may be why.

Be Proactive

Take charge of one area of your life that you feel you’ve been lacking in and change it to your liking. Do one small thing every day that will improve that area of your life. Slowly, you will build a life that is full of love and success.

Celebrate Your Small Victories

Small victories and successes are important in confidence building. Each time you complete a small goal or a task that is a part of a major goal, you build up your confidence and this leads to bigger successes that make your confidence skyrocket

Change One Thing About Your Look

Give yourself a mini-make over. You don’t have to go all out to make a big statement. You can change the way you wear your hair. You can try a new perfume or cologne. You can change your look by buying a few new pieces to incorporate into your wardrobe. You don’t have to change everything about your look, but a few updates can garner many compliments that will make you feel wonderful.

Exercise

Working out allows you to change your body and change the way you feel about yourself. Studies have proven that exercise increases the release of endorphins in your brain, makes your body look and make you feel better.  Just a 20 minute brisk walk will do wonders for your body and your brain.

What Other People Think Of You Is None Of Your Business

Most people will spend their entire lives seeking the approval of others, especially from someone they love. Don’t spend another minute caring about the opinions of others when it comes to you, especially your ex’s opinion. It’s none of your business what they think of you. Your only business is to know what you think of yourself and make your that you give yourself approval all the time. You are awe-inspiring as you are, flaws and all. Own it and know it. That is the ultimate secret to becoming a super confident person.

Final Thoughts

When all else fails, focus on just one thing about yourself that you really love. You are an awesome being that should be celebrated. Your ex may have broken your heart, but you can rebuild your life to something even more magnificent than before.  With confidence and self-love, you can overcome your heartache and live a wonderful life.

~Here’s to your healing!

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

Super Power! How to Rebuild Your Confidence After A Broken Heart is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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Heartbreak is an emotional problem, so how will exercise help you? Most people do not recognize the mind-body connection. Our minds and bodies are connected in the way we respond to stress and emotional pain. Any stress you feel in your mind, you also will feel in your body. Any stress you feel in your body, you will definitely feel in your mind. No doubt about it.

Exercise is one of the simplest ways to help in mending a broken heart. Exercise allows you to release all of that tension in your body and pumps your brain with endorphins. Besides that, exercise also allows you to shed any unwanted pounds and helps with your physical appearance. This allows you to boost your confidence and makes you feel good about yourself.

What Exercise Can Do For Your Heartbreak

You’re hurting emotionally and most likely don’t want to leave your bedroom. What can exercise really do to relieve the pain you feel right now?

How Exercise Helps Mend Your Broken Heart:

• Exercise helps you fight depression
• Exercise gives you energy
• Exercise helps your brain produce those “feel-good” hormones
• Exercise allows you to be more social
• Exercise boosts your confidence
• Exercise allows your brain to deal with stress better

These benefits of exercise are good for your overall health and emotional well-being. The best benefit of exercise is that it makes you look better.  When you look better, you feel better. When you feel better, you do better.  Exercise is one of the fastest ways to improve your looks, overall health and spirit. Your clothes will fit better.  Your confidence will skyrocket. People in your inner circle will start to notice the improvement in your body and compliment you.  Your heartbreak will seem insignificant and you will begin to move on.

My Experience with Exercise After A Broken Heart

After my break up, exercising was the last thing on my mind. I really wanted to stay in bed as much as I possibly could.  Eventually, I started to get back into my routine and workout regularly again. I also started eating better, not really over doing it, but just watching what I ate and taking better care of myself. Before I knew it, I had lost about 20 lbs in a little less than 2 months.

I will never forget when I first saw my ex some months after our break up. The expression on his face said it all. He was shocked to see how good I looked. 20 lbs is a lot of weight to lose and makes a great difference in your appearance. I felt so powerful and confident knowing that I had improved myself and made my ex-boyfriend feel like a fool for dumping me. I also felt great when all of a sudden men were approaching me left and right. My confidence shined through and that really helped me move on after my break up.

Final Thoughts

Mending a broken heart can be taxing on your body. Exercise is one of the best ways to fight that stress and release all of those unwanted emotions that have been building up since your break up.

You don’t have to start off with strenuous exercise. You can start off by taking a walk around the block for 20 minutes. Start with something small and build your way up. No one said that you had to mend your broken heart in one exercise session.

Remember, this about making you feel good as fast as possible. Trust me, just the sheer feeling of getting out and moving around will make a huge difference in the way you feel right now. So, get up and get moving!

~Here’s to your healing!

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

Mending A Broken Heart with Exercise: How to Look and Feel Lovely After Heartbreak is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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The post Mending A Broken Heart with Exercise: How to Look and Feel Lovely After Heartbreak appeared first on Heal Heartbreak Now!.

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How do you begin to remove the raw feelings of heartbreak?  Heartbreak traps you in a prison and keeps you there. In order to break down the walls of that prison, you must do something that is very difficult, however very freeing. You must FORGIVE YOUR EX!

Forgiveness gives you peace of mind because you are no longer tied down by the anger and pain of heartbreak. You are able to finally move on with your life and become a wiser, mature person. Forgiveness is a major healer of heartbreak.

Why Should You Forgive Your Ex?

It is very important to forgive your ex, but why should you do so? Well, forgiveness allows you to have freedom. Forgiveness gives you choices again. When you’ve had your heart broken, it seems that all of your choices have been taken away from you. The only choice you seem to have is to hurt. Forgiveness allows you to see that you do have other options. You become free from the bondage that heartbreak has put on your life by choosing to do so. Forgiveness offers that to you.

You can move from the pain of heartbreak to the freedom of forgiveness if you so desire. It is up to you to decide when it is time for you to forgive you ex for smashing your heart into pieces.

Forgive Yourself First

photo credit: Brett L.

You cannot truly forgive someone else until you know how to and understand why you need to forgive yourself. We tend to be so hard on ourselves about every little thing.  When a relationship ends, we tend to have regrets about things that we should have done or said to make our relationship work. We beat ourselves up and that makes healing our heartbreak even harder.

In order to forgive your ex, you must begin to forgive yourself. It takes courage to begin forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for all the things that you feel that you did wrong in your relationship.  Forgive yourself for being hard on yourself.  Forgiving yourself is also one of the first steps to loving yourself.

Forgive in Bite-Sized Pieces

photo credit: Horia Varlan

Once you have forgiven yourself, start to focus on forgiving the small things that your ex did to you. You don’t have to forgive them for everything all at once. Start by forgiving where you can. Build up to forgiving the major transgressions over time.

Forgiveness makes you a stronger person. And let’s face it, you need to be strong in order to survive a terrible break up.

Lessons Learned From The Pain

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Find the lesson in the pain. The pain sometimes hurt so bad that it clouds its true purpose and that is to teach you. You learn from the pain. Maybe your lesson was to learn how to love yourself first before loving someone else. Once you get the lesson, the pain seems to go away.  Forgiveness is a way to grow as a person

Forgiveness Is For You

photo credit: VanessaO

Forgiveness is for you and not the other person.  You need to forgive them in order to move on and live a better life.  Holding onto the pain only holds you back. Forgiving your ex has nothing to do with allowing them to continue to hurt you. Remember this about healing YOUR broken heart and not theirs!

When you forgive your ex, you are not telling them that what they did to you was okay, but you are saying that you choose not to let it affect your life any longer. They don’t have a hold on you anymore and you become free.

Forgiveness Takes Time

photo credit: * Polly *

Forgiveness is not something that happens over night. You have to work on forgiving yourself and your ex. They did hurt you; however you can break free from the pain by forgiving. Forgiveness is empowering because it allows us to take responsibility for how we feel. This is one of the most powerful things you can do to heal your heartbreak.

~Here’s to your healing!

About Nina Appleby

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

YES! The Freedom of Forgiveness From the Pain of Heartbreak: Forgive Your Ex Now! is a post from: Heal Heartbreak Now! where you can get heartbreak healing help.

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