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Please check out the Compassionate Listening website for upcoming workshops- there is a local one on Bainbridge in Jan and several offerings in Seattle. Sign up for their email newsletter. And look for an article on the delegation in the Bainbridge Island Review on Wed, Nov 19 2008
http://www.compassionatelistening.org

The work that the project does in the Middle East is meaningful and touches many lives.  Our delegation was the 26th delegation, totally about 600 people that TCLP has brought to the Middle East. The people that we listened to were obviously moved and supported by our presence. TCLP together with participants also gave generous financial support to worthwhile projects including donating 3 computers. TCLP also does training work and has brought groups of Israelis and Palestinians together to learn compassionate listening skills in the context of peace work. Many of the people that we listened to had received training from the organization. These trainings ripple out into the culture and form a web of support for those who are working to move the conflict towards solution. Leah Green, founder and director, is a skilled facilitator and an excellent teacher. We benefited so much from her guidance and insight as well as from her co-leader Yael Petretti.. Its an enormous achievement to bring people to a conflict area and present a balanced perspective, to hold a mulitpartial view, and to give people from all along the political spectrum a sense of having been heard, acknowledged and cared about.

Thanks again for all the support,
Love,
Maria

As we give equal compassion to the Israeli and Palestinian side, we realize the need to separate personal bias from triggers and judgment due to old wounds or stories. Do we ask more questions of the Israelis, expect more of them, because they hold more power in this situation? I personally feel that with power, military and economic, comes responsibility, but everything is mixed up in the crazy land and each issue is very complex. One thing is clear, everyone is suffering from this conflict and there can be no comparison about the level of suffering. It is also clear that it is our human task to move beyond suffering to come to a place of compassion and acceptance. People are in varied places along the spectrum of that process and everyone deserves compassion, wherever they are at.

We had a final listening in our group session. We shared goodbyes for the amazing Susan who has enriched the trip so much. We listened to Shiri Barr, an Israeli peace worker who has been with us for much of the trip. She shared that, to be a peacemaker, you have to be ‘multipartial’, not impartial. For peace to come here, there has to be an acceptance that both peoples really belong here, both peoples have a connection to the land, both spiritual and historical. Many people don’t hold those beliefs.  To be a peacemaker takes being willing to see the whole picture, what am I doing wrong, what have I done right, what do I need to do now? Sherri is trying to start a Peace Ministry in the Israeli Government. The Ministry of Peace would be a tool; the issue is more to create a culture of peace. When asked if she had support within the government for the idea, she responded “Not yet” When asked if there was any interest at all she responded, “ Not yet”. I loved that. Someone else pounding a head against the wall the conflict has built. Shiri is a quiet powerful force.

We heard from Julia, our Palestinian American participant who has been transformed by the trip. She has let go so much. She shared that all her life she has struggled for acknowledgement and acceptance of the Palestinian story. Now she recognizes that Palestinians need, for their own healing and growth, to let go of the Naqba and the pain and bitterness that they live with. Her radiant, loving face is full of hope now.

On Sunday we met with Dahlia Landau, about whom the book, The Lemon Tree by Sandy Tolan, was written. She shared what has happened to Bashir, the Palestinian in the book. He is living in Ramallah, his children are in college, one at Harvard, and he is still politically active. She said that the party he belongs to has participated in terror. Her friendship with Bashir is based on 40 years of connection and transcends the difference in their political views. She can accept the person without accepting all of the behavior.  She feels that it is legitimate to disagree about your visions for the land; it is not legitimate to promote your vision with violence. She cannot support a one state solution, because she, similarly to Esther Golan, another Holocaust survivor who we met with, feels that it would be suicide for Jews. Jews need a state of their own for security and need an active military to maintain that state.  She recognizes that the exclusion of Arabs is discriminatory; she sees it as a positive discrimination, based on the model of affirmative action. For her this holy land holds symbols for humanity and a visit here is bound to be an inner journey and not just about politics. What happens here has symbolic significance.

Dahlia is a humanitarian and a lover of people and culture. She smuggles herself into the West Bank to enjoy the Palestinian people. She recognizes the danger in this and it is her great grief that she is legally separated from a whole part of this land and some of its people.

With the blessings of both families (her Jewish refugee family from Bulgaria who lived in the home and Bashir’s Arab family who built the home and were expelled during the war of 1948,) Dahlia opened Open House in the home in 1991. “The house, the town, the country have given birth to both of us, like a root going down, it can be transformed into a destiny.” The house is now a daycare center for Arab children and a center for Palestinian and Israeli co-existence. There currently are 30 children in the program, which provides important economic benefits to women who must work to improve their condition.  Dahlia’s work with this center is so inspiring and so important.  We all dug deep into our pockets to give. www.friendsofopenhouse.org

Dahlia was our final listening session, and what a note to close on.  A very thoughtful person, she had many insights into the conflict and life in Israel.  She said, “ Any decision a person makes after reflection, which represents a real choice, is a decision that can be respected.” She would like the State of Israel to be a place that generates love and intelligent insight.  She is a person of great love and great insight.  She represents great hope for Israel.

My trip home was blessed with grace. Traveling to the airport with Phil and Amy, Diane, Linda, Laurie and Maggie was a sweet extension of our trip. Some of my favorite times had been the after hours celebration with this group and a few others in the bar, out on the patio, or wherever we could share wine and lots of laughter. Traveling on the flight with Diane and Patti was a real gift. To have some understanding as we began reentry saved me.  I watched Mama Mia on both legs of my trip and that was such a perfect counter point to the delegation- a celebration of love and life in song and dance!  Coming home to a sunny day in Seattle and finding my friend on the ferry was serendipitous. It’s not easy to shift gears and reenter the Land of Mundania. Thanks again to all who have supported me on my journey.  I think that we, as a delegation, gave a lot of support to peacemakers. I hope that all of us can shine the light of love out into the world, whatever our opportunities.

This blog has many omissions and many inaccuracies for which I apologize.  I am hopeful that you the reader can get a feel for our delegation.  It was a very full time, so rich! I am so grateful to you for reading my story and hope you have enjoyed it.

love,

Maria

Aida’s life story is another demonstration of the human capacity for transforming, anger, bitterness, and fear into hope, acceptance, love, and peace through the process of self-awareness. She talked about looking to the inner occupation, where we are stuck in the way we perceive things with judgment. She shared her view that it is a human tendency to want to be a victim; it is easier than focusing on working towards the future. As a victim, you can get sympathy; you can remain innocent, blame others, and you don’t have to do the hard work of looking at yourself deeply and accepting your own shadow side. In a conflict, both sides must give up their victimhood and forbear comparing the level of their pain and suffering. She had been a peace fighter, an activist, now she saw that there could be no fighting for peace, you have to work towards it and give up fighting and pushing against things. She feels that modern life creates war, our busyness and consumerism creates violence, not peace.

She had her own personal story of having transformed her anger and bitterness and she has the challenge of belonging to a people who have been very impacted. Only 250 Bedouins out of a tribe of 12,000 survived the war in 1948.

She is shining light. She focuses on peace work, spending time at a peace camp in Portugal called Tamira. She talked so much about her philosophy, sharing her wisdom. She feels that trust, transparency, and love are all necessary for peace to emerge. She plans to found a community where Israeli’s and Palestinians can coexist. The first stage, an experimental community at Tamira, is being planned. After spending a morning with this angel, I feel reassured that the boundaries of human limitations are being expanded. www.mytavor.com

We drove from Shibli to Haifa and met with two men who had lost children in a suicide bus bombing in 2003. We met at the cemetery and it was so sad to feel their grief. They have been very active in creative ways to keep the memories of their children alive, to learn to cope with their grief, and to provide greater security for Israel. www.Blondi.co.il

We returned to Jerusalem for the night and met in the evening to talk about judgments. We are all so vulnerable to our thoughts. It is a huge and constant process to follow a judgment down inside us to some unmet need or unrecognized value. I am so humbled by those who have done this work in the face of huge pain and loss.

In Tel Aviv we met with Norma Musih of the Israeli organization Zochrot (“Remembering”,) that works to raise awareness of the Naqba, the Palestinian catastrophe of 1948 ( what the Israelis consider the War of Indepence.) Norma is another angel; another being who has transformed pain, fear and doubt into a clarity of vision where she is sure that truth is necessary for peace. She believes that it will heal the Israeli soul if they take responsibility for the seizures of land and the destruction of villages that took place during the War of Independence. Currently much of the Israeli society refuses to believe that wrong was done. The Palestinian refugees are wounded that no acknowledgement of wrongdoing or apology has ever been made. There are 5-6 million Palestinian refugees and 1 out of 3 refugees in the world are Palestinians. 20% of the Palestinians in Israel are refugees. This means that they have lost their homes and land, were never compensated and are not permitted to return to their homes.

Zochrot is an amazing organization and goes about the very difficult work of consciousness raising in many creative ways. They sponsored a photographic project working with a French photographer who took photographs of refugees from Lebanon and took pictures of the photographs at the site of their home and brought them back to the refugees. They also do gatherings with a large map and have participants put a marker with the name of a destroyed village back on the site of the village and speak to the group about why they chose that village. The stories that emerge are moving, and a source of healing. Zochrot is an educational organization and produces curriculum that has not existed about the Naqba, so that teachers can introduce it into schools.

The organization talks about and accepts the Right of Return (the right of refugees to return to their homes as mandated by the UN). This is very threatening to the mainstream Israeli population. Jews have a fear of being thrown into the sea and fear an Arab influx. The politics of Israel are built on an ‘us or them’, ‘friend or enemy ‘mentality. The State can’t be both Jewish and democratic. No one is speaking about how the Right of Return could be implemented in practical ways, because the mere thought of it is too threatening. But there will be no peace until there is acknowledgement. There could be practical solutions, and the organization has written a proposal that includes a ban on expelling anyone from their homes so as not to create any new refugees. The Right of Return calls for broad social change and change is dangerous. However, according to Norma, it is more dangerous to continue on the current course. She was very clear that it is to uplift the Israeli mentality that she is impassioned by this work. To have real peace and reconciliation, the Naqba must be acknowledged. www.zochrot.org

And we hear stories and they become us and we become them. I am so full. I left the group in Jaffa and went on my own to the beach. My religion is the sea. We take what we are and what we have heard, the suffering and the joy, and we plunge into the ocean to be washed clean, to be deepened, to share ourselves with our source that we may have more capacity. I floated in the warm blue ocean for an hour, felt my feet on the soft sand, the sun warm on my skin and I knew who I was again. I am the man who lost his child to the terrorist attack. I am the bomber, so hopeless. I am the Palestinian mother who loves her sons. I am the Israeli who fears for his survival. I am the leader who must decide and I am the lover of life who relishes pleasure and home and the sweet scents of the garden. I am so much, so I swim it all out into the sea where it can join with rivers of tears that have washed down, carving away at the mountains of silence. I am so much. I stand on the earth and feel it all flow down down deep into the roots of creation to be healed. I am so much that I have my heart cracked open so that what I am rushes out and joins with the heart of the world. I am so much that I have to let it all soar into the sky to be transformed and broken into bits to drop back down like rays of sun to light up what needs to be seen. And I do this for the joy of it. I do this because of the love that it brings me. I do this because it is a miracle that we are here, alive in this time, with this chance to be so much.

And I feel the guiding hearts of the human angels who lead the way and I can reach back and offer my hand in service to those who are looking for help. And I just keep going, despite doubts about myself and my own worth, and about humanity and it’s limitations. I just keep going.

The next day we went up to the Golan Heights and listened to a settler. Equal passion, and again the suffering. She spoke of her life and the wars in Israel, making a home and putting down roots so that the Jewish people could have a home in this ancient land. Her love of the land was in her bones, in her blood, deep in the history of her people. She feels like the stories of the Bible took place in her back yard. She had so many stories to share about her struggle for Israel and the ever-present fear of enemies wanting to annihilate the Jewish people.

Our speakers in the evening were Jews for the Creativity for Peace Camp, a camp for Israeli and Palestinian girls in New Mexico. The director and two girls spoke and it was wonderful to hear about the transformative capacity of the peace camp, bringing youth of both sides together. The work they do is hard, deep, sad, and hopeful. The girls form deep bonds and confront many challenges to cross lines. The hardest part for them is coming home, back to a culture that doesn’t understand, cultures that hold onto grievances and separation. We can only offer blessings and support and wish them well. They manage this tremendous work by private donations only. It’s amazing and wonderful what they accomplish: creativityforpeace.com

Our group is deepening. We have huge appreciation for each other and for the gift of this trip and this process. We struggled tonight with ourselves, trying to grasp the subtlety of the effect of our questions and responses on the people we listen to. How can we be there for people that we disagree with, how can we help them to deepen into their story and open their hearts to new possibilities without putting our own agendas, preconceived notions, and ideas of what is right into the mix. Compassionate Listening is a spiritual practice and so we practice.

After our group session we meet on the terrace overlooking the Sea of Galilee for wine and beer and more debriefing. Laughter, gratitude, and humility are the order of the day. This land is ancient, this conflict complex, humanity is mysterious. We can only hope, love, and offer compassion. We are here to witness and we are changed by what we see. We are deeply in love with each other, with this land, and with the people that we meet. Life is offering us opportunities to explore all that love means, accepting the unacceptable, asking the unaskable, forgiving the unforgivable, and holding a vision for humanity that we can become even more loving and find some peace. Our hope is that we can find love where there has been only fear, that we can watch fear transform into love, that we can help those who are ready find their way to peace and shine a light on that possibility for others to see.

She told stories about near misses for her family where they had been exposed to suicide bombers and could have been killed. She spoke about the tension of life in Israel, a constant cloud of concern and fear. She told us that it was almost a vacation, almost like relief, to be with her daughter in a cancer treatment center in the middle of winter in New England, just to have a break from Israel! But it is her home, she loves it, she has family here, and it is the best place to do her art. She moved to the settlement originally for cheap housing, not for ideological reasons. She travels the long road to Jerusalem frequently to visit her family. She used to wear a bulletproof vest. She won’t stop at the wonderful fruit stands for fear of a bombing. We listened and listened as she shared her biggest grief, the loss of her husband and partner to cancer. www.judithmargolis.com

We went to Hope Flower’s School in the morning and what an inspiring uplifting experience. It was started years ago by a man who became a close friend of the Earth Steward’s Network, an organization based in Bainbridge Island. The school is dedicated to the educating kids about peace. They have developed a peace curriculum, which they are finding ways to share with other schools around the world. Ibrahim, the son, now directs the school, along with his sister. A soft-spoken man trained as an engineer in Holland- that he spent a year in an Israeli prison seems such an absurdity as he is so obviously so sweet and gentle. The school works with whole families as well as with children and also does outreach in the community. At this time they have about 300 students, Muslims, Christians and other faiths, and they hope someday to include Jewish students. They focus on teaching the many aspects of peace building, so needed in this society. We left feeling so hopeful and inspired, in awe of the dedication of the directors and staff. Visit their website: www.hopeflowersschool.org

Everywhere we go we leave donations and support as well as giving people the certainty that they are cared about, that their work is appreciated, and that there is support for them. I am spreading around the contributions that I received.

Our visit to Hebron was interesting. It is a place often in the news- there is ongoing conflict there. As a city it is more religious and conservative. Although firmly in the West Bank, there is a settlement of about 400 Jews in the center of the Old City and a big Israeli military presence. There are abandoned Arab homes in and around this Jewish sector. There are places that Palestinians are forbidden to go and other areas where a divider separates the road and the Palestinians must walk on one side. The checkpoint to get in and out of the Jewish sector was intense as we had our lovely Bonnie with us on her scooter. We had to break the scooter down into pieces and carry it through the turnstile. Then Bonnie came walking through with her canes- to our big cheers. Our own challenges are nothing compared with what the Palestinians face daily. Before leaving the Jewish sector we viewed the tomb of Abraham, a hugely important religious site to both Jews and Muslims. We went to the settler’s museum, commemorating the Jewish massacre of 1929. For ages Jews and Arabs had lived peacefully side-by-side as neighbors in Hebron. 60 Jews were killed in the terrible massacre and many wounded. The survivors were moved away. Jews did not return until Hebron was liberated (as it was described at the museum) in 1967. The reality of anti-Semitism is an ever present specter haunting the Jewish mentality, and affecting all of us.

There is no longer a sense of neighborliness. The remaining Arabs in the Jewish sector have built cages around their terraces to protect themselves from stones. Soldiers will kick open doors and come into the houses of Arabs living in the old city, threatening the inhabitants. We visited a family in their home, on the edge of the road that the settlers and military use, which is forbidden to Palestinian cars. The family owns the whole apartment building, maybe 6 stories tall. All the other tenants have fled, as there has been rock throwing and shooting into their apartments by the Israeli military. The army occupied the top floor to take advantage of the view over the entire city. They trashed it so totally, smashing everything and turning all the valuable possessions into rubble. It is riddled with bullet holes and broken glass and trash. My stomach turned. The elderly mom can’t bear to leave her home. Two of her daughters, a dentist and a teacher, and two grandchildren won’t leave her. And so they live on in a war zone. Her husband died of a broken heart. So sad!!!!

We all spent the night in groups of two, sleeping in Palestinian homes. What a wonderful experience! Everyone came back with stories to tell. My time was delightful. I was with young Cathy, 24, who is so sweet. The children of our family fell in love with her and we all hung out, played, danced and relaxed. The teenage girl watched Desperate Housewives and has learned excellent English from watching movies. It was so darn normal, just a family wanting a life. The Dad likes to watch CNN and was so loving to his kids, the wife so sweet and hospitable, and the children so intrigued with us. We really felt at home. The Dad had spent 10 years in jail, where he learned English, Hebrew and German, after which he started a family.

All these people, ordinary in so many ways, caught up in this conflict that has lasted for so many years… We woke up in the morning to the news of Obamas’s election. What joy! Everyone we have seen all day is excited. There is renewed hope. Yes, we can!!!!

Congratulations to us!!!! Perhaps we all have a future that we can look forward to.

Meeting and listening to Palestinians here has touched places in the soul. We have met men of great heart, gentle manner, impeccable manners, and deep passion for their people. We also see huge cause for frustration and know there have been outbreaks of violence.

Nafiz Rifai s is a handsome, well built man of 50 with a full head of hair, a great sense of humor, and a face that reveals great strength. He is a lover of learning, is widely read, and has written 8 novels. He has an MA in rural development and works for the Palestinian Authority. He spoke about bringing training to the Palestinians working with Don Beck and Spiral Dynamics. It is work aimed at developing the full capacity of human beings, especially needed at this time in the world. He brought 700 Palestinians together for a workshop to be exposed to this work and to learn how to use minds instead of emotions to plan the development of Palestine, quite an achievement given the difficulties of travel.

He is a peace loving man. Of suicide bombing he said,” Tell them instead: Yes, we are not going to die, but we are going to extract death from our land” He was insightful and deeply visionary, keeping his sights set on the future.

He spoke of his past, telling stories of his time in prison and how the prison experience influences the Palestinian mentality. Out of 2 and a half million Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank and another 200,000 inside Israel, 800,000 have been in jail for political reasons. The prisoners changed the prisons into Universities and places of learning, all the books forbidden by Israel can be found there. The prisoners released from jails spread a culture. There are about 12,000 in jail now and a rotating population keeps the number about the same. He shrugs off his experience. In committing to the future, he is also committing to forgiving the past.

Suleiman al Hamri, the Palestinian co-founder of Combatants for peace. He has a BA in psychology and social work and an MA in American studies. He is 44 now. When he was a teen in the 80’s he took part in the resistance, this was an honor, to fight for his people was considered brave and honorable. He threw stones and organized demonstrations and then was arrested. The year and half that he spent in jail for the first time was the worst period of his life. It was very severe punishment for a not very big crime. He spent three years in jail from six arrests. He studied extensively in jail and devoted himself to learning.

He told us his whole life story and it was about transformation. From a youth, coming from a family of resistance fighters, acting out in frustration, to a man who went through so much pain and loss but became committed to peace and knowledge. He renounced violence and spoke out against it. He began to meet with Israelis and discovered there were good people on the other side. Eventually, after deep soul searching, he met with former Israeli soldiers and refuseniks and founded a joint Israeli /Palestinian organization.

In 2006, Combatants for Peace hosted a gathering of 600 people in support of peace- a great day! Bereaved families and former fighters from both sides stood side by side for peace. He has since spoken all over the world on delegations to Europe and the USA. As a Palestinian he has been detained in the U S. He supports a 2 state solution to the conflict. After so much blood shed on both sides, a separation is needed. He really emphasized the role that the USA must play in the peace process and urged us to get involved in the political process. His family has suffered tremendously for the Palestinian cause and he is dedicating his life to the peace process. He said that the destiny of the Palestinian and Israeli people is tied together; they will live together or die together on this land. He had so much appreciation for our visit.

Suileiman is an amazing man, so gentle and so eloquent. It is impossible to listen to him and not feel reassured and at peace. One of our number told him it was like being with the founders of our nation back in time, the beginning of a nation, dedicated to a struggle for freedom and committed to the highest ideals. He is a leader and a man of great sincerity and great depth. His eyes are so warm and so loving. Google for his website- Combatants for Peace.

We visited a Palestinian refugee camp outside Bethlehem and were greeted with the warmest hospitality. Achmed, the director of services, met with us and shared his story. It was amazing, another man of peace who has been a prisoner off and on for a good part of his life. He remains committed to his people and did not express bitterness or anger. He spoke with love, passion, and vision about what he wanted to accomplish at the camp, also about the misery of life there. He feels that the world is guilty towards the Palestinian people and that the mistakes need to be corrected. He also feels that the image of Palestinians needs to change. That cannot continue to be seen as just terrorists but must be recognized as a people who want to live in peace. They are looking for dignity and for the rights enjoyed by other people in the world.

The camp was crowed place, a square kilometer filled with 9000 people living in poverty. There hospitality was great and their appreciation at having visitors immense. They feel invisible and neglected. They are disempowered in so many ways, living as an oppressed people. However, they have great spirit and a dedication to family and to education. We visited in a home where the parents had ten children and they were all educated, the older ones having completed university or graduate degrees. They were full of smiles and pleasure at the grandchildren. They hosted us so sweetly but shared that life in the camp was hard, not comfortable. Its pretty miserable with no meds, little health care, limited services and restricted movement. Still, the children are smiling and everyone is so glad to see us. There are frequent skirmishes with the Israeli army- stone throwing and tear gas and rubber bullets. Two watchtowers are right outside the borders. There is only one entrance, the other having been blocked off, and the Israelis can close the gate at any time.

When we went to leave, heading for our next meeting, the gate was closed and armed soldiers prevented us form leaving in our bus. We explained that we were American and eventually they opened the gate for us but it gave us a taste of what it would mean to be at the mercy of a greater force who could choose to inconvenience you or humiliate you just to punish you and to keep you oppressed.

The other side of that story is the fear of the Israeli soldiers that stone throwing can escalate. There is so much fear, so much hatred, so much history of violence. At the same time there are brilliant , open hearted people who have transcended their own experience and have come to a place of commitment to peace and forgiveness, a willingness to hear and see “the other.” Our work, as we travel in this delegation of compassionate listeners, do-gooders on a bus- is to listen and support and offer some attention to those voices that are longing to be heard. It is hard work. There is a lot of pain in this land. The inspiration comes form seeing those who face huge challenges and continue on with love and passion to work for a better future. Also one hopes, that by listening to anger and the underlying fears, they can be transformed. This act of listening is a blessing to both listener and those who are heard.

A visit to the Holocaust museum deepened our understanding of the pain and fear which is so much a part of Jewish awareness. It was not that long ago. How did it happen? What is the nature of humanity that this occurred? What tremendous potential for cruelty lies within us? What work can we to do to eradicate the seeds of hatred and separation.

We met with Esther Golan in her home, a survivor of the Holocaust (via Kindertransport). Her story was so moving, she and her siblings escaped but her parents perished. She is ever grateful for Israel and the refuge that it provided.
Our evening session last night was a breath of fresh air. Leah Lublin lives in an Israeli settlement and she has the courage to host an interfaith and intercultural dialogue group in her home, inviting Palestinians to meet with her. She was filled with love and joy and spoke of her spirituality and closeness to God. She told us of her jouney from an Orthodox Jewish upbringing to a rightwing activism to a reform Jewish outlook and a comlete transformation. She now, unlike her niegbors, delights in contact with the Plastinians, would love to see a dissolution of borders, has no fear about granting the right Of Return, would love to see mixed neighborhoods and lots of social interaction across cultural boundaries. She has overwhelmed any fear with her great love and to be in her presence was to be in hopefulness. She has a blog: http://www.mepeace.org/profile/leahlublin
Peace,
Maria

Today was all about getting to know each other, having an intro to CL and then touring the old city of Jerusalem. The old city is amazing- narrow streets, old stones, Roman archways, small crowded shops, Arab music, jostling humanity, smells of spices and coffee. The Western Wall and the Jewish quarter were imposing. Old old architecture dating back so far with so many periods- cycles of destruction and being rebuilt, layer upon layer. Jerusalem was invaded 20 times. So many temples and holy sites, the conjunction of religions, so much concentrated into such a small area, the old city is a square half-mile. It is a distinct world, ethnically diverse, filled with humanity and history, so much ritual, so many icons, so much that is sacred. The history of the Jewish people here is fascinating.

The Church of the Holy Sepulcher is amazing. I somehow never considered that it be something I would actually see- the actual site where Christ died on the cross, the station where he was anointed, the place of his tomb. Learning about those things when I grew up, they somehow seemed so far back in time, almost lost, like a legend. Yet here are the sites, preserved, commemorated, visited, adored, and adorned with art and ritual. We wandered and looked and learned until late, came home through a downpour with rivers of water flowing across the old stone, stepping up and down the curbs and cobbles, weaving in and out of the crowds and following the convoluted turns of the alleys and narrow pathways. The hotel was a welcome respite.

There are a few disabled people on our trip- two on scooters, one almost blind. It adds a richness and depth to our journey, an awareness of what it takes for some people to get around, something we normally don’t have to think about. I spent the afternoon hand in hand with Linda who uses a white cane and doesn’t see well. It was wonderful, dodging obstacles, trying to miss the biggest puddles, pointing out what I was seeing.

This is all a gift and I am so grateful. To be in community with others who are dedicated to learning, understanding, and experiencing deeply- it is so rich.

The evening was a listening session with two men from the Bereaved Families Forum, an Israeli Jew and a Palestinian man from a village near Nablus. They came together and they call each other brother. They each spoke about their lives, and the transformative event of losing a child to the violence of the conflict. Both used the pain of the loss to burn through some inner resistance, to connect with the humanity of others who have had loss and both now are dedicated to working for peace.

“What are you going to do now with this unbearable burden? There are two choices- the way of revenge, but would killing someone else bring her back? Would causing pain to someone else ease yours? No The second path is harder, trying to understand how someone could become so angry , and asking what can you do personally to prevent this kind of anger.” Inspiring, painful, hopeful. We sat with tears, sharing their pain. They do lots of outreach, they have given 1000 talks. Meeting with groups along the full political spectrum. They reach people because the depth of their pain is so authentic. Rami characterized his work: “Banging our heads against the wall of hatred which divides our people. We put cracks in the wall and eventually will bring it down, because the alternative is too horrible. Pain has a lot of power and we use it to bring hope.”

Their organization is effective and well worth supporting: http://www.theparentscircle.org/

On the eve of our election at home, with the possibility of a new direction, I can only hope that I can witness signs of a new direction in the Middle East.  It has been most illuminating to get some background on the situation with the recommended reading.  I pass along my praise for two books especially: “The Lemon Tree” by Sandy Tolan and “Healing Israel/Palestine” by Rabbi Michael Lerner.  Please read them if you can. They are both extremely well written and easy to read, but the truths revealed are not so easy to integrate.

It is difficult to look at our past actions, both personal and cultural, with dispassion. It is a challenge to dispel myths and beliefs that justify actions. To see where we have been silent or to wonder if we would have been, in more difficult times, is disquieting.  And to hold a place of compassion for “the other”, that is so hard.  Yet these things are necessary for us to move forward, as a global community, to a place where peace and justice prevail.

Michael Lerner says,” Political arrangements cannot be trusted until there is a serious commitment on both sides to compassionate listening to each other. It is only when both sides can tell the other side’s story with compassion and conviction, and both sides recognize that in some important respects both sides are wrong and both sides are right, that we can hope to move to a real reconciliation of the heart.  All the fancy agreements all the political maneuvering is secondary to developing an open-heartedness and the generosity in both peoples to the legitimate need of the other.”

He says,” It is my firm belief that lasting peace and reconciliation are not only possible, but likely to be achieved in the next twenty years, and possibly sooner. The hunger for a world of caring and kindness is a more powerful force than the desire to hold onto anger and nurse old pains.  True, it will take the courage to forget- to not focus attention on all the wounds, all the disgraceful actions of the other….. It will take the discipline and hard work of a generation of healers (medical, psychological, and spiritual) and it will take a sustained challenge to the ethos of cynicism that pervades the media, intellectual life, and all too many religious institutions. But it will happen, and when it does, a new generation will look back on this period and say, “What could those people have been thinking?”

It is uncomfortable to review the thinking that has brought us to the place where we are now.  But it is very exciting and hopeful to imagine a new way of thinking and being. I know Compassionate Listening and opening the heart are keys. And I know I will have a chance to practice, learn, and grow on this coming journey.

Thanks for your support.  I am taking you with me.

Love,
Maria

I will be uploading pictures and sharing my journal as I travel through Israel and Palestine with The Compassionate Listening Project.   I hope to set this up so that you can subscribe to receive notifications of a post and then check out the link at your convenience (and unsubscribe whenever you want!)

I am immersed in preparations for my trip. The outpouring of support has been tremendous and really moving.  Thanks so much to all of you for financial help and for prayers and well wishes.  I am really excited about this journey; I know it can’t help but be life changing.

Leah Green of TCLP has planned a magnificent itinerary and we will be meeting with all kinds of people-a whole spectrum of political views and personal experiences.  We will  be visiting positive projects, meeting with folks who are committed to the peace process, and listening to spiritual leaders.  It will be very moving and my intention is to share some of that inspiration with you.

I realize that I am most excited about making some deep and meaningful connections with individuals.   I treasure the connections that I have already- and appreciate how warmly I have been supported by them- I want to pass on that feeling of support and connection to people who are victimized by a situation that is hugely challenging.   The love that we experience in our life, the heart to heart channel of support and energy that can flow between connected people, is one of the most life giving things we can offer to each other.  In my experience, it has been easier to endure hardship and loss when I know that I am cared about.  Even if there is no immediate real solution to life’s challenges, just knowing that there are people who hold me in their heart, and who will act on my behalf when possible, it brings hope, lifts despair, eases suffering, makes life worth living.

Thanks to all who have helped me and I assure you, I will be passing on the gift.   If you are just hearing about this project for the first time, and you would like to make a tax deductible contribution, contact me and I will give you information: maria@healingandmore.com

Lots of love
Maria