Healing Relationships

Communication is Not Good Between My Partner and I

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 27 Aug 2017 16:50:00 +0000

One of the great secrets to restoring your marriage or relationship. And it is even better as a preventative.

Improve your relationship in 60 seconds. Listen to this one minute moment of inspiration.

Put the Magic Back in Your Relationship from Roland Trujillo on Vimeo.

These beautiful moments of inspiration and reflection air on KMET Radio in Palm Springs. Roland Trujillo is the author of 19 books and for 27 years has been helping people cope with stress and improve their relationships. For more moments of inspiration visit www.sheddingshackles.com

60 Seconds of Relationship Inspiration

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 17 Aug 2017 17:24:00 +0000

Improve your relationship in 60 seconds. Listen to this one minute moment of inspiration.

These beautiful moments of inspiration and reflection air on KMET Radio in Palm Springs. Roland Trujillo is the author of 16 books and for 27 years has been helping people cope with stress and improve their relationships. For more moments of inspiration visit www.sheddingshackles.com

Wanna put the magic back in your relationship?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Mar 2017 17:57:00 +0000

Wanna put the magic back in your relationship? Listen to Roland's 60 second moment of inspiration.

Listen to the secret and hear a great quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer. It's all good.

Instant Download of My Relationships and Marriage Books

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 05 Oct 2016 23:00:00 +0000

"Roland, thank you so much for your book.
When I heard that you are a pastor, I hesitated to order it because I'm not into religion. But because I wanted to learn more about why I can't stop resenting my husband so much, I went ahead and got the book. I'm so glad that I did. The advice is very practical, and the book is filled with some beautiful spirituality too. I spent over a thousand dollars to register and fly to an out of town seminar I could have saved the thousand and got your book instead." Suzy - San Bernardino

"The perfect book for troubled couples with different type of problems . . .
I can assure it will be one of the better books I have ever read." review of The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage

Instant Downloads

Take advantage of this offer!

Hello everyone. These are two books that I think you should have on your shelf (or on your iPhone, computer, Android or Kindle).

The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage is my most popular book and it covers the basic important stuff like no other book. A great introduction and good for marrieds, singles, and people in long term and short term relationships. When issues arise, this book explains the why.

Click here to look inside

Take advantage of the special offer. Instant download of the eBook pdf of The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage for a donation of $6

Click here to download now at safe and secure Paypal

Putting the Forever Back in Love is a follow up to The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage.

Putting the Forever Back in Love has advanced strategies. If you have been married for more than 10 years and your marriage is in trouble, this is the book you will want to read.

If you have kids and want to have some advanced insights and strategies for parenting, then Putting the Forever Back in Love is definitely going to be on your shipping list.

Click here to look inside

Take advantage of the special offer. Instant download of the eBook pdf of Putting the Forever Back in Love for a donation of $7

Argue all the Time? Presence of Mind May Help

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 03 Oct 2016 17:56:00 +0000

Learn the simple art of being prepared in advance with understanding and patience.

"My Husband and I Argue All the Time"- thoughts from a 25 year counselor

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 23 Apr 2015 19:24:00 +0000

"All couples argue," says Roland Trujillo in a recent radio interview. Read the whole interview

"All couples argue. Because you have two different people with different needs and different opinions, arguing is inevitable.

In fact (and this is controversial) men and women live in different worlds. So again, disagreements are to be expected.

If it is any consolation to you, arguing is very common in marriages. You could almost say that all the squabbling and arguing are "normal." I would venture to say that if a couple isn't arguing--something is wrong.

If there is silence, then it is usually an eerie silence, with buried resentment and hostility underneath. Or it's a marriage in name only (like some celebrities get married just to further their career). Or perhaps one person has completely capitulated and has become a repressed doormat.

Arguing is par for the course. Men and women are different and live in different worlds. Someone once said that a good marriage is a good fight. Yes, there will be arguments. But there is such a thing as a good fight.

A good fight is when what is right wins. A good argument is when-instead of sniping, anger, violence, or a game of one upmanship--reason prevails.

There is an ancient mystery between men and women going all the way back to the Garden of Eden. And there is a legacy of misunderstanding that is passed down from one generation to the next. It is hard to convey all I wish to say in just a few paragraphs, but I can provide a few hints to get you thinking along these lines.

Divorce is not the answer. What is needed is understanding.

Abraham Lincoln once said that two people can disagree without becoming disagreeable. Arguing, especially if done in the right way, gets things out on the table and is better that the typical eerie silence with resentment and secret hostility underneath. If one person is unreasonable--it should just draw forth more reasonableness in the other. Remember: what is right is more important than who is right. When right prevails, then it is a win-win for both.

We must also wake up to see that we have been resenting and blaming the other person. Most of us are basically selfish. We have an agenda we want to impose on the other. When our needs are not met, we become resentful and begin to look elsewhere.

The truth with love is supposed to set us free. But few of us have the love to set others free.

I once had a listener who could not understand why she so resented her husband. He was decent, hard working, honorable, always there, and kind. But he lacked something special (a love that comes through him from God). I explained to her that she was looking for something from him that he could not give. He cannot give what he does not have. This was a profound insight for her. She realized that he had not found love from God. Thus he too was empty and suffering. When he was a little boy, he was hurt and damaged; and he never fully recovered. He could not give what he did not have.

An insight like this, if realized deeply, can lead to being able, for the first time, to drop resentments against the other person.

Ladies, you cannot make a man into a man. Even if you were to succeed, he would be in your image, with you as his god.

Men, do not look for love from your wife. Give love instead. Become more fatherly. Look upon others as if they were naughty school kids. Set a good example. Be forthright, but kind. Do not have expectations as to what the other person should be like or do. Be there for your family.

If your partner also develops understanding, then your relationship can become heaven on earth. If only you become more aware and mature in your understanding, you are still much better off because you will be able to deal gracefully with situations, and spare yourself the upset, frustration and emptiness you now feel.

Roland Trujillo, MS, D. Pastoral Psychology, is the author of 18 books. He is host of a radio advice program that currently airs in Southern California and around the country for 25 years.

Listen to Roland's 1 minute sound byte about his special offer and The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage
In his new 350 page book Putting the Forever Back in Love Roland reveals little known secrets to marriage success.

It All Began in the Garden of Eden

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 17:15:00 +0000

I know, people say that the Garden of Eden story is a myth.

But I can see that it is not a myth because all around I see relationships recreating the Garden scene over and over again.

We all start out thinking that our marriage will be heaven on earth, but something goes wrong.

Soon there is arguing and hurt feelings. Then a break up. Everyone suffers, especially the kids.

So I wrote a book about it.

If you can see what is going on and just what your part is in what is going wrong, you might be able to save your relationship and perhaps even live happily ever after.

Here's a little video I made on the topic.

Online Relationship Resources

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:33:00 +0000

Hi, this is Roland.

Looking for help with your relationship or marriage? Some feedback from a couples coach? If you are interested in counseling or coaching

Here's my 1 minute sound byte about The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage and my special offer of a free eBook as a token of my appreciation for a donation of any amount.

Based on 25 years of counseling couples and answering questions on the radio. Roland tackles the tough questions with humor, discernment, and refreshing honesty. From the Garden of Eden to the 21st century, he’s got relationships covered.

Click here to preview the paperback edition at Amazon.com

"The perfect book for troubled couples with different type of problems . . . I can assure it will be one of the better books I have ever read."
Amazon customer review of The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage

"Roland, thank you so much for your book. . . . . The advice is very practical, and the book is filled with some beautiful spirituality too. I spent over a thousand dollars to register and fly to an out of town seminar I could have saved the thousand and got your book instead."
Suzy - San Bernardino

Putting the Forever Back in Love - Advanced Concepts in Relationship Building

Click here to preview at Amazon.com in Kindle edition

This book contains advanced concepts for coping with and resolving difficult relationship issues.

If you liked The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage you will love this book.

Been married for many years and have some issues? This is the book for you.

Based on 25 years of research and counseling, Dr. Trujillo presents new insights and strategies for healing relationships and resolving stress and unhappiness. Partners, parents, couples considering marriage, and adult children of dysfunctional families will find both practical and spiritual principles to help them move forward to happiness.

"The perfect book for troubled couples with different type of problems   . .   .
I can assure it will be one of the better books I have ever read."    review of The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage

Get a free eBook and help keep this blog going--all at the same time--just click here and choose a book. then make a donation at safe and secure Paypal and you will get your gift eBook right away!!!

You'll benefit from my 25 years of experience. Plus the books are a good read.

You'll also be saving up to 80% off retail price.

When you send a donation to help keep this blog going, you are actually paying forward to help others. I frequently gives materials away free to people who can't afford anything.

Want to Watch an Inspiring Movie that is about a Great and Inspirational Woman?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 04:10:00 +0000

From the desk of Roland.

I want to tell you about a lady with a great soul and who was a free spirit. Her name was Peace Pilgrim and she walked over 25,000 miles across America with a message of peace and love. She made friends everywhere and touched everyone's hearts and inspired everyone who met her.

Here's how I found out about this super lady.

A few months ago I went to the Goodwill Store on San Pablo Avenue in Oakland. I was enjoying some quiet time on a Sunday afternoon, browsing through their books, when a book leapt out and caught my attention. It was called Peace Pilgrim: her life and work in her own words.

I bought the book and could not put it down. I loved her integrity, her ideas, her philosophy, and her free spirit.

I also found out that there is a website devoted to her. The movie about her is there to watch for free.

Here is the link to the website dedicated to the life and work of this wonderful woman.

You can read the book there. It has become a spiritual classic

Want to watch a good inspiring move?

Here is a documentary film about her life and ideas
Peace Pilgrim: an American Sage

"This is the way of peace: Overcome evil with good,
and falsehood with truth, and hatred with love."

....Peace Pilgrim

Please reach out to others. There are plenty of thoughtful people out there. And there are plenty of others who feel just like you. Reach out and help someone and you will discover that your blues are gone.

Roland Trujillo, pastor and author of 18 books, has been helping people for over 25 years. Visit his 24/7 Self help Resource Center at commonsensecounseling.org

What's Wrong with My Relationship?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:08:00 +0000

What has gone wrong with your relationship? If you and your partner are basically good people, why are you having issues?

Could it be that you just have not been informed about how to make relationships work? Could it be that others, themselves misguided, have given yo the wrong information about life, love, and successful relationships?

Did your parents have issues in their marriage too? If they were good people, what went wrong? Maybe they too were simply misguided.

If what I say is true, then read on (this is a free excerpt from my book The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage). Maybe you can still save your relationship, reduce your stress, and perhaps even live happily ever after..

Your friend,
Roland

Relationships make the world go around. We love people and we hate them. We want to be around them and then we want to get away from them. We can’t live with them, and we can't live without them.

And nowhere is this more evident than when it comes to dating, courtship, long term and short term relationships, partners and spouses.

First I want to say that all relationships start off with excitement and dreams of living happily ever after, and yet a large percentage end up as a living hell. Many of us saw our parents arguing and fighting and we hated it.

We were sure that our relationship would be different. But once we got involved with someone for awhile--sure enough, soon we were arguing—and we are lucky if it was merely arguing. Sad to say the daily newspapers are full of stories about arguments that turn into violence or even murder.

Something is wrong. If love turns into hatred, then it wasn’t real love to start with. It proves that what most people think of as love is not really love at all.

Some relationships settle into long ones. Many appear happy and fulfilling on the surface. But the truth is that many are not. Something is still wrong. Each partner suffers--he in his way, and she in her way.

I remember when I was a boy, my mother had some good lady friends. I was surprised and shocked by what was said about their husbands. Each wife not only openly complained about and criticized her husband, but also stated that she was secretly unhappy and unfulfilled.

I was shocked because in private they seemed to have contempt for their husbands, and what was said in private was quite different than what was said when the husbands were present.

I also got to listen in to what the husbands said when, for example, the men would go fishing while the women did something else.

When I was with men, I heard a different story. The men were unaware of their wife’s secret unhappiness or of their wife’s secret contempt. The husbands thought that everything was basically okay with the marriage.

The men did admit that their wives never seemed to be satisfied. The wives always wanted something. They wanted him to lose weight, to stop smoking, get a better job (like some other friend’s husband had), or go to church more. The wife wanted him to improve or change in some way.

The wives, according to the husbands, were apparently never satisfied. They wanted a bigger house, more furniture, a vacation, or something. But when she got it, she was still not satisfied with it. Nor was she satisfied with any self improvement he made. She always found something to disapprove of. Yet the husbands were not aware of their wife’s secret unhappiness or that the wife was complaining about him behind his back.

The husband typically said that his wife was confusing, and he was at a loss as to what she wanted.

But like I said, for the most part, the men thought that the relationship was basically okay. Without trying to be rude, I must say (to use an old expression) the men were “fat, dumb and happy.” They did not suspect the deep unhappiness their wives were feeling.

Occasionally one of the husbands or wives would privately remark that they were staying together “for the sake of the kids.”

It seemed as though the wives were far unhappier with the husbands than vice versa. Somehow they wanted something from their husbands that they were not getting. The wives seemed to think that what was needed was better communication, intimacy and sharing that would make things right.

But their unhappiness and continued complaints no matter what their husband did proves that it was something deeper that they needed.

They could not put into words what they needed. But I can. And I will spell it out in this book.

Their husbands could not figure out what their partners wanted. They tried everything--from flowers to champagne and hot tubs for two—but nothing seemed to satisfy the wives.

I will tell you husbands later what your wives really need, so keep reading.

Roland Trujillo has been helping people with life and relationship issues for 25 years. He is the author of 18 books.

Relationship Books - Give yourself a present

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 24 Dec 2014 01:37:00 +0000

"Hello everyone. These are two books that I think you should have on your shelf (or on your computer, Android or Kindle).

The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage is my most popular book and it covers the basic important stuff like no other book.

Next is my advanced strategies for healing relationships book. Putting the Forever Back in Love is a follow up to The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage.

Putting the Forever Back in Love has advanced strategies. If you have been married for more than 10 years and your marriage is in trouble, this is the book you will want to read.

If you have kids and want to have some advanced insights and strategies for parenting, then Putting the Forever Back in Love is definitely going to be on your shipping list.

Now here is the good part!

Remember that I have a long standing offer. You can get any one of my ebooks sent to you by email as a token of my appreciation when you make a donation of any amount.

Many people don't know that I am a volunteer. I buy the airtime and internet time in order to be there to help people. Soooooo, any donation (yes, even a small donation).

So to take advantage of this offer, get a free eBook, and help me out--all at the same time--just click here and choose a book. Then make a donation at safe and secure Paypal and you will get your gift eBook right away!!!

Why do couples argue?
How can we put the sparkle back in our marriage?
How can we communicate better?

What is the difference between courtship and casual dating?
My wife asked me to leave.
Why are men the way we are?
What does my wife want?
Can we reconcile?
My wife cheated on me – now what?

Based on over 20 years of counseling couples and answering questions on the radio. Roland tackles the tough questions with humor, discernment, and refreshing honesty. From the Garden of Eden to the 21st century, he’s got relationships covered.

"Roland, thank you so much for your book.
The advice is very practical, and the book is filled with some beautiful spirituality too. I spent over a thousand dollars to register and fly to an out of town seminar I could have saved the thousand and got your book instead." Suzy - San Bernardino

It's like a relationships seminar in a box!

Putting the Forever Back in Love - Advanced Concepts in Relationship Building

This book contains advanced concepts for coping with and resolving difficult relationship issues.

If you liked The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage you will love this book.

Been married for many years and have some issues? This is the book for you.

Based in 24 years of research and counseling, Dr. Trujillo presents new insights and strategies for healing relationships and resolving stress and unhappiness. Partners, parents, couples considering marriage, and adult children of dysfunctional families will find both practical and spiritual principles to help them move forward to happiness.

Want Putting the Forever Back in Love in paperback? Click here to see it at Amazon

Get a free eBook and help keep this blog going--all at the same time--just click here and choose one of the three books. Then make a donation at safe and secure Paypal and you will get your gift eBook right away!!!

You'll benefit from Dr. Roland's 25 years of experience. Plus his books are a good read.

You'll also be saving up to 80% off retail price.

When you send a donation to help Roland, you are actually paying forward to help others. Roland volunteers his time to help others and he frequently gives materials away free to people who can't afford anything.

Roland Trujillo, MS, D. Pastoral Psychology, is the author of 18 books. He is host of a radio advice program that currently airs in Southern California and around the country for 25 years.

In his new 350 page book Putting the Forever Back in Love Roland reveals little known secrets to marriage success.

Read Free Chapter One of The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 20 Dec 2014 02:47:00 +0000

The Dating and Mating Game Is Not a Game

Relationships make the world go around. We love people and we hate them. We want to be around them and then we want to get away from them. We can’t live with them, and we can't live without them.